Giles: "Must we have this noise during your calisthenics?"
Buffy: "It's not noise, it's music."
Giles: "I know music. Music has notes. This is noise."
Buffy: "I'm aerobicizing. I must have the beat!"
Giles: "Wonderful. You work on your muscle tone while my brain dribbles out of
my ears."

Buffy: "I'm on a beach. Not one of those American beaches. One of those island
beaches where the water's way too blue. And I'm laying on my towel, and it's
just before sunset, and Gavin Rossdale's massaging my feet."
Willow: "That's good. Uh, I'm in Florence, Italy. I've rented a scooter that's
parked outside. I'm in a little restaurant eating ziti. And there are no more tables
left, so they have to seat this guy with me, and it's John Cusack!"
Buffy: "Very impressive. You have such an eye for detail."
Willow: "'Cause...with the ziti."
Xander: "What're you two up to?"
Buffy: "Just having a quick game of Anywhere But Here."
Xander: "Oh. Amy Yip at the waterslide park."
Willow: "You never come up with anything new."
Xander: "I'm just not fickle like you two, okay? I'm constant in my affections.
Amy Yip at the waterslide park."

Willow: "Do you think Giles ever played Anywhere But Here when he was in
school?"
Xander: "Giles lived for school. He's actually still better that there were only
twelve grades."
Buffy: "He probably sat in math class thinking, 'There should be more math.
This could be mathier.'"
Willow: "Come on, you don't think he ever got restless as a kid?"
Buffy: "Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed."

Buffy: "Hey, good morning. Say, is that tweed?"
Giles: "What? Oh, uh, yes. Um, now, uh, look, tonight, uh, it's very important to
come..."
Buffy: "Now that's a surprise."

Buffy: "So, what's on tap tonight that's so important? Uprising, prophesied
ritual, preordained death fest?"
Xander: "Ah, the old standards!"
Giles: "Um, a medical transport is delivering a monthly supply of blood to the
hospital."
Buffy: "Mmm, vampire meals on wheels."

Giles: "Uh, we'll meet outside the hospital at eight thirty, sharp. I'll bring the
weaponry."
Buffy: "I'll bring the party mix."
Giles: "Just don't be late."
Buffy: "Have I ever let you down?"
Giles: "Do you want me to answer that, or should I just glare?"

Ms. Calendar: "Morning, England."
Giles: "Oh, hello, Ms.--um, uh--Jenny."
Willow: "Feel the passion?"
Xander: "Mm-hmm."
Ms. Calendar: "Willow?"
Willow: "Coughing, not speaking."

Xander: "Those poor schlubs, have to attend school on Saturday."
Ms. Calendar: "Nine AM okay with you, Xander?"
Xander: "..."
Buffy: "Got a bit of schlub on your shoe there."
Xander: "Heheh."
Ms. Calendar: "Well, Cordelia's gonna' meet us."
Xander: "Ooh, gang, did you hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia. Mix
in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever."

Buffy: "Look at them."
Xander: "A twosome of cuteness."
Willow: "Can't you just imagine them getting together?"

Ms. Calendar: "You know how you have to dog ear your favorite pages so you
can go back to them?"
Giles: "Eh-uh-oh-what?"
Ms. Calendar: "Well, I mean, I practically had to fold back every single page. So
finally, I just--I just started underlining all the pages I really wanted to discuss."
Giles: "Uh-uh-underline?"
Ms. Calendar: "But then, of course, I spill coffee all over it. I can't even read it."
Giles: "It's a first edition."
Ms. Calendar: "I'm lying, Rupert, the book's fine. I just love to see you squirm."
Giles: "Oh, well, I...trust I gave good...squirm."
Ms. Calendar: "Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a fuddy duddy?"
Giles: "Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else."
Ms. Calendar: "Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a sexy fuddy duddy?"
Giles: "Well, no, actually, that part usually gets left out. I can't imagine why."

Giles: "Uh, this...uh, Saturday?"
Ms. Calendar: "Saturday night. I'll see if I can make you squirm."

Cordelia: "Well, evil just compounds evil, doesn't it? First, I'm sentenced to a
computer tutorial on Saturday. Now I have to read some computer book. There
are books on computers? Isn't the point of computers to replace books?"

Cordelia: "Oh, great! Can you help me with a ticket? It's totally bogus. It was a
one-way street. I was going one way!"

Cordelia: "I'm not deaf, I can take a hint. What's the hint?"
Giles: "To come back later."
Cordelia: "Yeah, when you've visited decaf land."

Buffy: "All's well that ends with cute ER doctors, I always say."

Buffy: "Since when do doctors take deliveries?"

Buffy: "How did you know about this?"
Angel: "It's delivery day. Everybody knows about this."

Angel: "Maybe he's late."
Buffy: "Giles, who counts tardiness as the eighth deadly sin?"

Buffy: "Giles, did you forget? The hospital, vampires, handy carry-out packets
of blood?"

Cordelia: "This isn't right, school on a Saturday. It throws off my internal clock."
Xander: "When are we gonna' need computers for real life, anyway?"
Ms. Calendar: "Hmm, let's see, there's homes, school, work, games."
Xander: "You know, computers are on the way out. I think paper's gonna' make
a big comeback."
Willow: "And the abacus."
Xander: "Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci."

Ms. Calendar: "Buffy."
Xander: "Huh, did I fall asleep already?"
Willow: "Aw, you miss your friends!"
Xander: "Uh, sit here, Buffs! Demilitarize the zone between me and Cordelia."
Cordelia: "Yeah, and delouse him while you're at it."

Xander: "Is there some crisis that requires immediate action...very far from
here?"

Buffy: "I think he might have been...I think he was drinking."
Ms. Calendar: "He was home alone drinking?"
Willow: "But...tea, right?"
Buffy: "Wasn't tea, Will."
Xander: "Yep, yep, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound as
straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Roary was
the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night, it was booze,
whores, and fur flyin'. Were there whores?"
Buffy: "He was alone."
Xander: "Give it time."

Cordelia: "I didn't think it was important."
Xander: "We understand. It wasn't about you."

Buffy: "You sold me that dress for Halloween and nearly got us all killed."
Ethan: "But you looked great."

Buffy: "What are you doing here."
Ethan: "Snooping around."
Buffy: "Honesty. Nice touch."
Ethan: "It's one of my virtues...not really."

Willow: "I'm not gonna' get close enough to feel his pulse, but...he looks dead."
Xander: "Except for the walking and attacking Buffy part."

Giles: "Is everyone all right?"
Cordelia: "Super. I kicked a guy!"

Xander: "Dead guy here interrupted our tutorial. Been meaning to thank you for
that."

Giles: "I thought I told you to leave town."
Ethan: "You did. I didn't. Shop's lease is paid 'til the end of the month."
Cordelia: "Why did he call him 'Ripper'?"
Giles: "Should have left when I told you."
Cordelia: "Oh."

Willow: "Now there's something you don't see every day."
Cordelia: "I'm gonna' be in therapy 'til I'm thirty."

Cordelia: "This is what happens when you have school on Saturday."

Buffy: "Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles' personal
files and seeing what you can find?"
Xander: "I'm feeling pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath?
Nah."

Cordelia: "What about me? I care about Giles."
Buffy: "Work with Xander."
Cordelia: "Well, when I say 'care', I-I mean..."
Buffy: "Cordelia?"
Cordelia: "Okay, okay."

Giles: "I never meant for you to be involved in, in, uh, in any of this."
Ms. Calendar: "So I got involved. It's what happens when two people...get
involved."

Willow: "'Unless the proper rituals are involved, the possession is permanent,
and Eyghon will be born from within the host.'"
Cordelia: "I'm guessing eewww."

Willow: "I don't know about Giles, but ancient sects used to induce possession
for bacchanals and, and orgies."
Xander: "Okay, 'Giles' and 'orgies' in the same sentence. I coulda' lived without
that one."

Ms. Calendar: "You could take me home, or you could take advantage of me in
my weakened state."

Eyghon: "Oh, you never had the stomach, but that's okay, 'cause I'm about to
rip it out."

Willow: "Did you find anything?"
Xander: "The most meticulous banking and phone record you've ever
seen...and, um, this!"
Willow: "That's Giles?!"

Buffy: "It's okay. I'm not much into running."
Ethan: "Aren't we manly?"
Buffy: "One of us is. You're gonna' hide 'til it's over."
Ethan: "Excellent plan!"

Ethan: "You know, I hope you're not taking it personally, Buffy. I actually kind of
like, it's ju--it's just that I like myself a lot more. If you think of it karmically, this
is, this is really big for your soul, you know. Taking my place for the demon,
giving so that others may live."
Buffy: "I'm gonna' kill you. Will that blow the whole Karma thing?"

Ethan: "This may sting a little, just at first, but don't worry, that'll go away once
the searing pain kicks in."

Cordelia: "I've got the solution right here. 'To kill a demon...cut off its head.'"
Xander: "Oh yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, we'll find Ms. Calendar, then we'll decapitate
her. Hey, she'll be the first headless computer teacher in school, you think
anybody'll notice?"
Cordelia: "Do you know what you need, Xander, besides a year's supply of
acne cream? A brain."
Xander: "That's it! Twelve years of you and I'm snappin'! I don't care if you're a
girl or not, I'm throwin' down! Come on!"
Cordelia: "I've seen you fight, and don't think I can't take you!"
Xander: "Give it your best shot!"
Willow: "Hey!!! We don't have time for this, our friends are in trouble. Now we
have to put our heads together and, and get them out of it. And if you two aren't
with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!"
Cordelia: "We're sorry."
Xander: "We'll be good."

Willow: "Oh, I've got it! I've got it!!!"
Xander: "She's good."

Ethan: "Well, I hate to mutilate and run, but..."

Angel: "I've had a demon inside me for a couple hundred years...just waiting for
a good fight."
Buffy: "Winner and still champion."

Xander: "Uh, I think that Ethan guy disappeared again."
Buffy: "Darn, I really wanted to hit him 'til he bled."

Buffy: "You know what the worst thing is? I was saving up for some very
important shoes, and now I have to blow my entire allowance to get this stupid
tattoo removed."

Buffy: "Hey, maybe you should consider a career as a Watcher."
Willow: "Oh, no, I don't think I could handle the stress."
Xander: "And the dental plan is crap."

Ms. Calendar: "I'm fine. I mean, I'm not running around, wind in my hair, the hills
are alive with the sound of music fine, but...I'm coping."

Buffy: "Is she okay?"
Giles: "Um, the hills are not alive."
Buffy: "I'm sorry to hear that...I think."

Buffy: "I'm so used to you being the grown-up, and then I find out you're a
person."
Giles: "Well, most grown-ups are."
Buffy: "Who would've thought?"

Buffy: "I have just the perfect music. Go on, say it, you know you want to."
Giles: "It's not music, it's just, uh, meaningless sounds."
Buffy: "There. Feel better?"
Giles: "Yes, thanks. Bay City Rollers, now that's music."
Buffy: "I didn't hear that."