Buffy: "Okay, one more time. You're the who?!"
Kendra: "I'm the Slayer."
Buffy: "Nice cover story, but here's a tip: you might wanna' try it on someone
who's not the real Slayer."
Kendra: "You can't stop me. Even if you kill me, another Slayer will be sent to
take me place."
Buffy: "Could you stop with the Slayer thing, I'm the damn Slayer!"
Kendra: "Nonsense. There is but one, and I am she."

Buffy: "Okay, a scenario: you back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all
wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out."
Kendra: "Wiggy?"
Buffy: "You know. No kick-o, no fight-o."

Giles: "We never met. He's very well-respected."
Buffy: "What? So he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?"

Kendra: "They call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir."
Buffy: "Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?"

Buffy: "Back off, Pink Ranger! This is my friend."
Kendra: "Friend?"
Buffy: "Yeah, as in person you hang with. Amigo."
Kendra: "I don't understand."
Buffy: "You try. I'm tapped."

Kendra: "But the Slayer must work in secret, for security."
Giles: "Of course, b-b-but with Buffy, however, it's-it's, um, some flexibilities
required."

Kendra: "She died?"
Buffy: "Just a little."

Giles: "This is completely unprecedented. I'm quite flummoxed."
Buffy: "What's the flum? It's a mistake. She isn't supposed to be here. She goes
home."

Buffy: "Look, no offense, I really don't mean this personally, but I'm not dead,
and frankly, having you around creeps me out just a little bit."

Kendra: "I thought you were a vampire."
Buffy: "Oh! A swing and a miss for the rookie."

Kendra: "Did I not see you kissing a vampire?"
Willow: "Buffy would never do that! Oh, except for, the sometimes you do that.
But, only with Angel. Right?"

Buffy: "Just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home team now."

Spike: "Talk, and I'll have your guts for garters."

Willy: "What are you gonna' do with him, anyway?"
Spike: "I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into
anything. I've been hurt, you know."

Cordelia: "Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so, but
I'm both a winter and summer."

Xander: "Okay, Mary Kay, time to...time to run!"

Xander: "Find something to cover the crack under the door."
Cordelia: "Uh, here! I don't do worms."

Kendra: "So I did not kill him."
Buffy: "And I don't need to kill you."
Willy: "Whoa! There's a lot of tension in this room."

Buffy: "Doesn't anyone just say 'Hello' where you come from?"

Kendra: "This one is dirty. I can feel it!"
Buffy: "That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, but we're not gonna' get
anything out of him if he's, oh, say, unconscious."

Willy: "He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter."

Buffy: "Are you telling me the truth?"
Willy: "I swear on my mother's grave...should something fatal happen to her,
God forbid."

Buffy: "I don't take orders. I do things my way."
Kendra: "No wonder you died."

Willy: "I have to ask. Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a
friend with a camera -- strictly high-class nude work. You know, art
photographs, but naked. You don't have to answer right away."

Drusilla: "You've been a very bad daddy."

Kendra: "Then we will stop Spike?"
Buffy: "Ooh, good plan! Let's go, charge!"
Giles: "Buffy."
Buffy: "It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne."

Kendra: "The assassins? I read of them in the writings of Dramius."
Giles: "Oh, really? Which volume?"
Kendra: "I believe it was six, sir."
Buffy: "Um, how do you know all this?"
Kendra: "From my studies."
Buffy: "So, obviously, you have a lot of free time."

Kendra: "I study because it is required. The Slayer Handbook insists on it."
Willow: "There's a Slayer Handbook?"
Buffy: "Wait. Handbook? What handbook?"
Willow: "Is there a t-shirt? 'Cause...that would be cool."

Giles: "After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that the Slayer Handbook would be
of no use in your case."
Buffy: "Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? What--what's
wrong with my case?"

Buffy: "Hello and welcome to planet Pocket Protector."

Buffy: "Get a load of the She-Giles."
Willow: "Creepy."

Buffy: "Bet Giles wishes I was more a book geek."
Willow: "Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you."

Buffy: "Maybe after this thing with Spike and the assassins is over, I could say,
'Kendra, you slay. I'm going to Disneyland.'"
Willow: "But...not forever, right?"
Buffy: "No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months."

Xander: "Could you sit down or change your pattern or something? You're
making me queasy."

Cordelia: "You should be thinking up a plan."
Xander: "I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us."
Cordelia: "How will she even know where to find us?"
Xander: "Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are, she'll find us."

Cordelia: "He looked normal!"
Xander: "What, does it take an arrow with the word 'Assassin' over his head?"

Cordelia: "I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face."
Xander: "Then go. I'm not stopping you."
Cordelia: "I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to doom all by herself."
Xander: "Not just any girl. You're special."

Xander: "We so need to get out of here."
Cordelia: "Uh-huh!"

Buffy: "My tests say I should look into law enforcement, duh, and
environmental design."
Willow: "Environmental design, that's landscaping, right?"
Buffy: "I checked the shrub box."

Buffy: "Don't look. That guy over there is totally checking you out."
Willow: "Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity."

Willow: "Hey! Your hair...is brown."
Oz: "Oh yeah, sometimes."

Oz: "I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work-of-any-kind
person."
Willow: "And, uh, why'd they select you?"
Oz: "Well, I sort of test well, you know, which is cool, except that it leads to
jobs."
Willow: "Well don't you have some ambitions?"
Oz: "Oh yeah. E flat diminished ninth."
Willow: "Huh?"
Oz: "Well, the E flat, it's do-able. But it's-it's that diminished ninth, you know. It's
a man's chord, and you could lose a finger."

Oz: "Uh, yeah, I'm shot! Ya' know, wow! It's odd...and painful."

Hostage Kid: "Was that a demonstration?"

Xander: "Who sponsored Career Day today, the British Soccer Fan
Association?"

Xander: "You wanna' talk Order of Taraka, we just met the King Freak of
the...hello!"

Xander: "A slayer, huh? I knew this 'I'm the only one. I'm the only one' thing
was just attention-getter!"

Xander: "So, you're a slayer, huh? I like that in a woman."
Kendra: "I hope...uh, thank you...I mean, sir, um...I will be of service."
Xander: "Great. Good. It's good to be a giver."

Cordelia: "Oh God, I'm showering!"

Buffy: "You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?"
Xander: "No, but this dude was completely different than Praying Mantis Lady.
He was a man of bugs, not a man who was a bug."

Buffy: "Angel. He's Drusilla's sire."
Xander: "Mmmman, that guy got major neck in his day!"

Willow: "Don't worry, Buffy, we'll save Angel."
Kendra: "Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla."
Xander: "Angel's our friend...except I don't like him."

Buffy: "Look, you've got your priorities and I've got mine. Right now, they
mesh."

Buffy: "You can attack me. You can send assassins after me. That's fine. But
nobody messes with my boyfriend."

Drusilla: "Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake, and eggs, and honey, until
you came and ripped their throats out."

Giles: "There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little
excessive."
Willow: "It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder."

Kendra: "Did anyone explain to you what secret identity means?"
Buffy: "Nope. Must be in the handbook, right after the chapter on personality
removal."

Giles: "Is everything all right?"
Buffy: "Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp."

Buffy: "When this is over, I'm thinking pineapple pizza and teen video movie
fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald ouevre."

Xander: "Oh, here we go. I am the Bug Man, coo-coo ka-choo."

Xander: "Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his little
buggy parts."
Cordelia: "I know what it means...dorkhead!"
Xander: "'Dorkhead'? You slash me with your words!"

Kendra: "Your life is very different than mine."
Buffy: "You mean the part where I occasionally have one?"

Kendra: "You tink he might help us?"
Buffy: "I tink we might make him."

Drusilla: "Say 'uncle'. Oh, that's right. You killed my uncle."

Spike: "I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show."
Angel: "Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall."

Drusilla: "Shh. Rrruff. Bad dog."

Spike: "Aren't you a throw-himself-to-the-lions sort of sap these days. Well, the
lions are on to you, baby."

Spike: "And if Dru dies, your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her maids
are spared her coming-out party."

Spike: "Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go the hard way, along with the rest
of this miserable town."

Kendra: "Just hit him, Buffy!"
Buffy: "She likes to hit."

Buffy: "He could die!"
Kendra: "He's a vampire. He should die."

Spike: "Now we just let them come to a simmering boil, and remove to a low
flame."

Willy: "You said you wanted her!"
Spike: "In the ground, pinhead! I wanted her dead."

Spike: "Another five minutes, though, and Angel will be dead, so I forebear.
Don't feel too bad for Angel, though. He's got something you don't have."
Buffy: "What's that?"
Spike: "Five minutes."

Spike: "Who the hell is this?"
Buffy: "It's your lucky day, Spike!"
Kendra: "Two Slayers."
Buffy: "No waiting."

Xander: "Hey, Larvae Boy! Yeah, that's right, I'm talkin' to you, you big cootie!"

Xander: "Welcome, my little pretties!"

Spike: "I'd rather be fighting you, anyway."
Buffy: "Mutual."

Cordelia: "Die! Die! Die! Die!"
Xander: "I think he did, Cordy."

Willy: "Now, there's a way which this isn't my fault."
Spike: "Oh, they tricked you."
Willy: "Mm-hmm. They were duplicitous!"
Spike: "Oh, then I'll only kill you just this once."

Kendra: "That's me favorite shirt. That's me only shirt!"

Willow: "How's your arm?"
Oz: "Suddenly painless."

Willow: "You know, I never really thanked you."
Oz: "Ooh, no, please don't. I don't do thanks. I get all red, have to bail. It's not
pretty."
Willow: "Well then, forget...that thing...especially with...the part where...I kind
of...owe you my life."

Oz: "Oh look, monkey. And he has a little hat, and little pants."
Willow: "Yeah. I see."
Oz: "The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know
that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen."
Willow: "..."
Oz: "So I'm wonderin', do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped, like it's
the hippo going, 'Hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity.' And
you know the monkey's just, [French accent] 'I mock you with my monkey
pants.' And then there's a big coup in the zoo."
Willow: "The monkey is French?"
Oz: "All monkeys are French. Did you know that?"
Willow: "No."

Xander: "What happened. There's a total explanation for it."
Cordelia: "You're a pervert?"
Xander: "Me?"
Cordelia: "Yeah."
Xander: "No, no, no, no. I seem to recall I was the jumpee, my friend."
Cordelia: "As if. You've probably been planning this for months!"
Xander: "Right, I hired a Latvian Bug Man to kill Buffy so I could kiss you. I hate
to burst your bubble, but you don't inspire me to spring for dinner over at
Bucky's Fondue Hut!"

Xander: "Forget about the bugs, okay? The memory of your lips on mine
makes my blood run cold."

Kendra: "Thank you for the shirt. It was very generous of you."
Buffy: "Hey, it looks better on...well, me, but no worries."

Buffy: "Relax. You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your peanuts, you watch
the movie--well, unless it's about a dog or Chevy Chase."

Buffy: "I guess it's something I really can't fight. I'm a freak."
Kendra: "Not the only freak."
Buffy: "Not anymore."

Kendra: "I don't hug."
Buffy: "Right...no...good...hate...hugs."

Drusilla: "Don't worry, dear heart. I'll see that you get strong again...like me."