Xander: "I kind of had a problem with the math."
Willow: "Which part?"
Xander: "The math."

Xander: "You're certainly a font of nothing."

Flutie: "All the kids here are free to call me Bob. But, they don't."

Xander: "Can I have you?"
Buffy: "..."
Xander: "Uh...can I help you?"

Xander: "We both go to school. Very suave, very not pathetic."

Cordelia: "Willow, nice dress. Glad to know you've seen the softer side of
Sears."

Cordelia: "The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let
anybody in, but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town."
Buffy: "Where's that?"
Cordelia: "About half a block from the good part of town. We don't have a
whole lot of town here."

Buffy: "That's not what I'm looking for."
Giles: "Are you sure?"
Buffy: "I'm way sure!"

Buffy: "It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hang out with me."
Willow: "Aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?"
Buffy: "I can't do both?"
Willow: "Not legally."

Willow: "He was a curator at a British museum, or the British museum? I'm not
sure. But he knows everything and he brought all these historical volumes and
biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?"

Cordelia: "Are these guys bothering you?"
Buffy: "Uh, no!"
Willow: "She's not hanging out with us!"
Jesse: "Hey, Cordelia!"
Cordelia: "Oh please. I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I
just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with
the chest hair, because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the
locker."
Buffy: "What?"
Willow: "What are you talking about?"
Cordelia: "Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker."
Buffy: "Dead?"
Cordelia: "Totally dead. Way dead."
Xander: "So, not just a little dead, then?"
Cordelia: "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"
Jesse: "You know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on..."
Buffy: "How did he die?"
Cordelia: "I don't know."
Buffy: "Well, were there any marks?"
Cordelia: "Morbid much! I didn't ask!"
Buffy: "Um, I gotta' book. I'll see you guys later."
Cordelia: "What's her deal?"

Buffy: "I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus, and I don't care!"
Giles: "Then why are you here?"
Buffy: "To...tell you...that...I don't care...which...I don't...and...have now told
you...so...bye!"

Buffy: "To make you a vampire, they have to suck your blood, then you have to
suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing."

Buffy: "First of all, I'm a vampire slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know!
Why don't you kill 'em?"
Giles: "I'm a Watcher. I haven't the skill."
Buffy: "Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off
a log."
Giles: "A Slayer slayes, a Watcher..."
Buffy: "Watches?"
Giles: "Yes...no!"

Giles: "Something's coming. Something is gonna' happen here...soon!"
Buffy: "Gee, can you vague that up for me?"

Angel: "I know what you're thinking, but don't worry, I don't bite!"

Buffy: "Who are you?"
Angel: "Let's just say I'm a friend."
Buffy: "Well, maybe I don't want a friend!"
Angel: "I didn't say I was yours."

Willow: "I thought Xander was gonna' show up."
Buffy: "Oh, are you guys going out?"
Willow: "No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up."
Buffy: "How come?"
Willow: "He stole my Barbie."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Oh, we were 5."
Buffy: "Oh."
Willow: "I don't actually date a whole lot...lately."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Willow: "Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or
witty or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go
away."
Buffy: "It's not that bad."
Willow: "It is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk."
Buffy: "You really haven't been dating lately."

Buffy: "Sieze the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead."
Willow: "Oh that's nice!"

Buffy: "Dark, gorgeous, in an annoying sort of way."

Cordelia: "Oh yay, it's my stalker."

Jesse: "You wanna' dance?"
Cordelia: "With you?"
Jesse: "Well, uh, yeah!"
Cordelia: "Well, uh, no!"

Cordelia: "What is your childhood trauma?!?!"

Giles: "The vampire is not dead?"
Buffy: "No, but my social life is on the critical list."

Willow: "It sure is dark."
Thomas: "It's night."
Willow: "Well, that's a dark time, night...traditionally."

Willow: "Oh, okay, this is nice...and scary."

Buffy: "Now, we can do this the hard way, or...well, actually, there's just the
hard way."

Buffy: "This is not gonna' be pretty. We're talkin' violence, strong language,
adult content."

Willow: "Oh, I--I need to sit down."
Buffy: "You are sitting down."
Willow: "Oh, good for me."

Willow: "Does anybody mind if I pass out?"

Buffy: "God, I'm so mentally challenged!"

Xander: "Yesterday, my life's like, 'Uh-oh, pop quiz!" Today it's, "rain of toads."

Angel: "They really don't like me dropping in."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Angel: "They really don't like me."

Jesse: "I can hear the worms in the earth!"
Xander: "That's a plus."

Master: "Tonight, I shall walk the Earth, and the stars themselves will hide!"

Xander: "I don't like vampires. I'm going to take a stand and say they're not
good."

Buffy: "So Giles, got anything that can make this day any worse?"
Giles: "How about the end of the world?"
Buffy: "Knew I could count on you."

Cordelia: "Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished?"

Buffy: "Don't go Wild Bunch on me."

Willow: "Did we win?"
Buffy: "Well, we averted the apocalypse. I'll give us points for that."

Xander: "I mean, the dead rose! We should have at least had an assembly."

Giles: "We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction."
Buffy: "Well, I gotta' look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of
school."
Xander: "Oh yeah, that's a plan, 'cause a lot of schools aren't on Hellmouths."
Willow: "Maybe you can blow something up. They're really strict about that."
Buffy: "I was thinking of a more subtle approach, you know, like excessive not
studying."
Giles: "The Earth is doomed."