Buffy: "Willow, you okay?"
Willow: "Yeah, I'm fine. The shaking is a side effect of the fear."

Buffy: "If it weren't for that clouding spell..."
Willow: "Yeah, it went good. Nothing melted like last time."

Faith: "These babes were wicked rowdy. What's their deal?"

Giles: "I was aware that there was a nest here, but, quite frankly, I expected it to be vampires. These are new."
Buffy: "And improved."

Willow: "Are you okay?"
Xander: "Tip-top, really. If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it."
Buffy: "Xander, one of these days you're gonna get yourself hurt."
Faith: "Or killed."
Buffy: "Or both. And, you know, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be... fray-adjacent."
Xander: "Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?"
Faith: "Yeah, that was real manly how you shrieked and all."
Xander: "I think you'll find that was more of a bellow."

Buffy: "Should I burn them?"
Willow: "I brought marshmallows. Occasionally, I'm callous and strange."

Giles: "I'm more interested in finding what they are, and whether we can expect more of their kind."
Buffy: "I hope not. They're way too fit."

Xander: "But gee, Mr. White, if Clark and Lois get all the good stories, I'll never be a good reporter."
Giles: "Hmm?"
Xander: "Jimmy Olsen jokes are pretty much gonna be lost on you, huh?"
Giles: "Sorry."
Jack O'Toole: "What are you, retarded?"
Xander: "No. No, I had to take that test when I was seven. A little slow in some stuff, mostly math and spatial relations, but certainly not challenged or anything."

Jack O'Toole: "We're gonna kick your ass until it's a brand new shape."

Cordelia: "Boy, of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest."

Cordelia: "O'Toole would macramé your face. He is a psycho... which is still a lot cooler than being a wuss."

Xander: "Why is it that I've come face-to-face with vampires, demons, the most hideous creatures hell ever spit out, and I'm still afraid of a little bully like Jack O'Toole?"
Cordelia: "Because, unlike all those other creatures that you've come face-to-face with, Jack actually noticed you were there."
Xander: "Why am I surprised by how comforting you're not?"

Cordelia: "'Cool.' Look it up. It's something that a subliterate that's repeated 12th grade three times has and you don't. There was no part of that that wasn't fun."

Xander: "You're in a band. That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complimentary mojo after take-off. I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?"
Oz: "Not the way I play it."
Xander: "Okay, but on the other hand... Eighth grade, I'm taking the flugelhorn and getting zero trim, so the whole instrument thing could be a mislead."

Xander: "What do I have?"
Oz: "An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special."
Xander: "Now with the mocking."

Buffy: "And they're here in Sunnydale for what, Demon Expo?"
Giles: "Buffy, this is no laughing matter."
Buffy: "Hence my no laughing."

Buffy: "Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?"
Willow: "Every nightmare I had that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test, and naked."

Buffy: "What is this?"
Xander: "What do you mean, what is this? It's my thing."
Willow: "Your thing?"
Xander: "My thing."
Buffy: "Is this a penis metaphor?"

Buffy: "It's nice."
Xander: "Could you sound a little less enthused?"
Buffy: "Sorry."
Willow: "Evil."
Xander: "Big?"
Buffy: "Biggest."

Cordelia: "Ooh, is some evil going on? Must be big for them to trust you with this daredevil mission."
Xander: "Cordelia. Feel free to drop dead of a wasting disease in the next twenty seconds."
Cordelia: "Oh, again I strike the nerve. I am the surgeon of mean."

Girl: "How does she handle?"
Xander: "Like a dream about warm sticky things."

Xander: "Angel! Buddy! Friend-buddy. You want to sit and talk?"

Xander: "You know, it's not like I haven't helped before. I've done some quality violence for these people."

Buffy: "'Sisterhood of Jhe. Race of female demons, fierce warriors..." Eww. "...celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes." They couldn't just pour Gatorade on each other?"

Xander: "I'm really sorry about that, but your car came out of nowhere."
Jack O'Toole: "I was parked."
Jack O'Toole: "Where do you want it?"
Xander: "I'm fairly certain I don't want it at all. But, uh, thank you."
Girl: "Wow. Cool knife."
Xander: "Yeah, great knife. Although I think it may technically be a sword."
Jack O'Toole: "She's called Katie."
Xander: "You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you."

Jack O'Toole: "Are you scared?"
Xander: "Would that make you happy?"

Jack O'Toole: "Don't you feel pathetic?"
Xander: "Mostly, I feel Katie."
Jack O'Toole: "You know what the difference between you and me is?"
Xander: "Again, Katie's springing to mind."

Girl: "I want to go for a ride. I'm bored."
Xander: "Oh, gee, I'm really sorry my life-and-death situation isn't exciting enough for you."

Jack O'Toole: "I like you."
Xander: "Yay?"

Jack O'Toole: "Bob. You big, hideous corpse -- come here!"

Xander: "this time of night, I'm pretty sure nothing's open. But they're always open for crime. Okay, now I'm involved in crime. I'm the criminal element. Having a car sure is cool."

Corpse #2: "You want to be part of the gang, now don't you?"
Xander: "Yes. Yes, but I'm not dying to be in the gang, if you get the pun there."
Bob: "What, are you too good to be dead? You got a problem with dead people?"

Corpse #2: "Let's kill Xander. It'll be fun."

Faith: "A fight like that and no kill. I'm about ready to pop."
Xander: "Really? Pop?"
Faith: "you up for it?"
Xander: "Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just, um, I've never been up with people before."
Faith: "Just relax... and take off your pants."
Xander: "Those two concepts are antithetical."
Faith: "Don't worry. I'll steer you around the curves."

Xander: "Long gone. Probably loaded with supplies. Gotta think. I can't believe I had sex. Okay, bombs. Already dead guys with bombs."

Xander: "Okay, I can work this out. I just got to figure out what they'd be likely to bomb."

Xander: "All right. I'm going to ask you this once, and you better pray you get the answer right."
Corpse #3: "Okay, okay."
Xander: "How do I defuse... (Corpse's head knocked off) Aahh! I probably should have left out that whole middle part."

Xander: "Where's a Slayer when you need one?"

Bob: "Good for chopping."

Xander: "Should have learned by now. If you're gonna play with fire, you gotta expect sooner or later... I wasn't finished! Note to self: less talk."

Xander: "Okay, boiler room. (monster head crashes through wall) Other way."

Xander: "Hello nasty. Less than two minutes. Dumb guy, little bomb. How hard can it be?"
Jack O'Toole: "It just got harder."
Xander: "I'm not leaving until that thing's disarmed."
Jack O'Toole: "I guess you're not leaving."

Jack O'Toole: "I'm gonna carve you up and serve you with gravy."

Jack O'Toole: "First the eyes, then the tongue. I'll break every one of your fingers."
Xander: "You gonna do all that in 49 seconds?"

Jack O'Toole: "I'm not afraid to die. I'm already dead."
Xander: "Yeah, but this is different. Being blowed up isn't walking around and drinking with your buddies dead. It's little bits being swept up by a janitor dead, and I don't think you're ready for that."

Oz: "I'm feeling oddly full."