(Author's Note: It has come to my attention that this story has been nominated for an award. I'd like to thank whoever was kind enough to do this and all my beautiful reviewers for keeping me going!)
When Spike dropped Xander off at his parent's house, Xander asked the same thing he asked every afternoon, “Same time tomorrow?”
Instead of his usual response, Spike stunned Xander with, “I don't think I'll be going tomorrow.”
Xander swallowed. This was officially serious. Spike did not miss a surfing opportunity. He spent more time at the beach than the local seagulls.
“Oh, O.K, then. I guess I'll start pounding the pavement early then. That crappy, minimum wage job isn't going to find itself.” He was striving for humor but he just got a distracted nod.
He watched the Desoto drive off slowly and immediate went in the house to call Tara.
* * *
Tara was just hanging up the phone when Spike came in. Willow had been listening in and jumped up, “Did you catch any good waves?”
Spike carefully stored his board in the laundry room and muttered something non-committal. As he started up the stairs Tara came to the landing, “Are you alright?”
Spike felt a twist in his gut he realized must be guilt. If she only knew… She'd be as disgusted with me as everyone else would be.
He felt a rush of hopelessness then. Even Tara wouldn't be able to accept this. He really was alone.
He turned back and schooled his features in what he hoped was a neutral expression, “I'm fine. I'm just tired. I'm going up to shower and I think I'll take a nap.” He continued up the stairs at a much faster pace.
“But-“ Tara began, only to be cut off by the slam of the bathroom door, “Passions is on in twenty minutes.” She sat down on the stairs.
Willow came to sit beside her, “What do you think is going on?”
“I don't know. But it's eating him up, I can see it in his eyes.” Tara got up and picked up the phone. She dialed the familiar number of Buffy and Willow's dorm room.
“Buffy, hi, it's Tara. I was wondering if you knew of anything that could have happened to Spike in the last few days? Did he say anything to you? No, I haven't told him anything about what we talked about. He doesn't even know you came to see me. Thanks, I'll let you know. I know. I know, thank you. Bye.”
Tara hung up the phone and sighed. Maybe Spike would work up the courage to tell her on his own. No one else seemed to have a clue about what was going on.
* * *
Spike had come up with the plan. He'd lain in bed for three hours coming up with said plan and he was quite confident he could pull it off. He was simply going to avoid the Slayer at all costs and try very hard not to think about her.
But it was like the elephant in the room, the minute he tried not to think about her, he thought of her more than ever before.
He thought about the way she wrinkled her nose, the way she always had a smart comeback and talked so openly about what she thought of things. He thought about how incredible she was when she was fighting. He thought about how strong she seemed, that she just kept going on no matter what life and the Hellmouth kept throwing at her.
He thought about how her hair gleamed like a halo in the sunlight and how she painted her toenails lavender. He thought about how she had given him a second chance, even though he thought he didn't deserve it.
He thought about how easily her words have wounded him and how much her opinion meant. He thought that he might very well have always been attracted to the Slayer, even when he had first come to Sunnydale.
He thought about how she always smelled nice, even when she worked up a sweat. He thought about what the smell of her arousal had done to him and knew that she had more power over him than the laws of physics. If she wanted him to fly, he was quite sure he'd put in a good effort.
He thought about her every time he let his mind wander and he knew.
He was completely buggered.
* * *
Tara watched Spike anxiously when he wasn't paying attention, which turned out to be more often than late.
They were in the grocery store and Tara was perusing the aisles while Spike pushed the cart. She considered the boxes of Celestial Seasoning before putting Perfectly Pear and Chocolate Caramel Chai Enchantment into the cart. They were rounding the corner when they nearly ran into a middle-aged man with glasses.
The man took one look at them, abandoned his cart and ran headlong through the store to the exit.
Tara and Spike stood there blinking for a few seconds. Tara pulled another box of Sleepytime off the shelf and calmly asked, “A friend of yours?”
Spike blinked again and looked over at her, “He looks sort of familiar. I only saw he for all of two seconds.”
Tara shrugged and headed off to pick up some cream cheese.
* * *
Rupert Giles had never felt more unprepared in his entire career as a Watcher. He'd been mindlessly shopping at Safeway, completely unarmed, only to run into one of the most notorious vampires in recent history.
He did the first thing that came to mind. He ran to find Buffy.
He considered warning the other patrons of the shop but knew he'd get nothing but blank stares and perhaps a trip to the third floor of Sunnydale Memorial Hospital and a pretty new jacket to keep him calm.
So he ran to find the Slayer.
* * *
Buffy and Willow were sitting in their English class, taking notes… well, Willow was taking notes. To be perfectly honest, Buffy was daydreaming about Spike and the trip to a carnival she'd been fantasizing about. She was also worrying because Tara was worried about him, was he all right? Did he need help?
Then, as she happened to glance at the lecture hall door, she saw a blur go by, then a face in the window. Giles. Something was wrong. She batted Willow on the shoulder and they both quietly exited the classroom.
“Spike is in town.” Giles stated bluntly, he was covered in sweat, his hair was a mess and his glasses were askew.
Buffy blinked at him. It hit her suddenly that she really wasn't spending very much time with her Watcher since she had started school. She really only stopped in about once a week to keep him up to date on how her patrols were going.
She realized, with a sinking heart, that she had never actually brought up her current obsession.
Buffy licked her lips and she could see Willow biting hers out of the corner of her eye.
Hoo boy, he was not going to like this.
* * *
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