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| Longer, Then Forever - Chapter 12 by Demonica Mills (24 Reviews) | | - - - abc |  | | | 
Pretty banner is by the lovely ms. Selene
Chapter 12
“Buffy! Buffy, wait!” Spike chased after her, but Buffy didn’t stop running. He followed, calling after her.
She stopped outside of Restfield cemetery and Spike almost crashed into her. She walked through the cemetery until she reached Joyce’s grave where she fell on her knees in front of the gravestone. Spike stood behind her, unsure of what to do.
“You remember,” he said finally and then mentally kicked himself for sounding like a ponce. “How?”
“When Whistler touched my head…it was like this sudden…rush. I didn’t…not remember, it’s just that all those memories had been pushed to the back of my mind. He sorta brought them forward,” she said quietly and began to trace the outlined letters on the gravestone.
Spike exhaled sharply. “Then you remember my promise, yeah? Look, I know that I said that I’d protect her and I failed. I failed when it counted, I didn’t save you when it counted.”
“Spike.”
He continued quickly. “I want you to know that I did save you afterwards…every bleedin’ night afterwards in a thousand different ways. I was faster, you know, more clever.”
“Spike,” she turned to face him. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” She turned back to the grave.
“Right, then. I’ll leave you be then.” He turned to leave.
“Please stay,” she said quietly.
Spike knelt down next to her. “She was a great lady, your mum. Reminded me a bit of my own mother…always wanting to see the best in people.” He put his hand on the gravestone next to Buffy’s.
She placed her hand over his, running her fingers over his. He froze, afraid to move.
“Do you know what it’s like to feel the touch of another person? To have your skin touching theirs?”
He didn’t say anything. She had flipped his hand over and was now lightly tracing the lines in his palm.
“God, to touch someone again. 147 years without anyone to touch or to have them touch me. One hundred and forty seven years,” her voice broke with a sob. “And I was all alone.”
“Buffy,” Spike reached out to put his arms around her, but she recoiled.
“No!” She keeled over onto her hip, placing one hand down for balance. “Don’t touch me. How can you touch me? I’m a m-monster.”
“You’re not a monster, luv.”
“I am,” she sobbed. “I am, you just don’t know. You don’t know all the things I’ve done.”
“ ‘M sure ‘ve done worse. Buffy, you did what you had to do to survive. That doesn’t make you a monster. Makes you human.”
“I like the way you say my name…even w-when I couldn’t remember, I liked hearing you say my name…you sound like you care.” She looked at him, her tears flowing freely down her face and his heart broke.
“I do care, luv. I care about you so much it hurts me.” He reached for her again and she allowed him to pull her into his arms.
“I d-drank blood,” she whispered.
“I do too.”
“I a-ate…d…demons.”
“I used to eat humans.”
“I forgot I was human…I did…non-human things…I was…primal.”
“It’s okay, luv.” He tightened his grip around her.
She buried her face in his chest. “God, you feel so good…I dreamt about you while I was gone. I drew pictures of you on my cave wall.”
“Buffy,” his voice came out strangled.
“Please, Spike, please touch me,” she whispered.
He placed two fingers under her chin and tilted her head up. He stared at her for a moment before lowering his head and pressing his lips against hers. She ran her tongue over his lips and moaned when he granted her access. His hands glided up and down her arms and back as he tried to fulfill her wish.
“You feel so good,” she whispered when he abandoned her lips to press kisses down her neck.
“You don’t know what you do to me, luv. Tell me. Tell me what you want before I go too far,” he muttered before lowering his mouth to her breast.
Buffy moaned and arched into him. “You…I want you.”
Spike moaned and lowered her to the ground, rolling himself on top of her. “So beautiful you are,” he whispered as he ground himself against her.
She gasped and wrapped her legs around his waist. “It’s been so long…so long,” she muttered as tears began to fall from her eyes again.
“Sshh.” Spike kissed the tears from her face and tangled his fingers in her hair. “My beautiful girl. My Slayer.”
“Spike, please,” Buffy whimpered.
“Wot? Tell me.” His hand worked its way under her shirt and began to massage her breast. “’ll do anything, just tell me.”
“Need you.”
Spike kissed her passionately. “’M here love. You’ve got me. For now and forever, ‘m yours.”
“Need you…inside me…please.” Buffy pushed her hips against his desperately.
“Sshh, I got you.” Spike captured her lips again as his hand slowly worked the zipper on her jeans.
Buffy whimpered and tried to push the jeans completely off her hips without losing contact with him.
“Relax,” he whispered as he undid his own jeans. He tried to pull back from her enough that he could get his shoes off, but Buffy wouldn’t let go. “A’right, just lemme slide something under you so yer not on the ground.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Buffy swallowed hard as she looked into his eyes. “I’ve laid on worse.”
For once in his life, Spike didn’t know what to say. He kissed her instead and ran his hand along down her stomach and into her curls. He slid one finger into her and pressed his thumb against her clit. Buffy moaned loudly and pushed her hips upward as he added another finger. He pulled away too soon and Buffy’s whimper turned to a moan as he slid inside her.
“Buffy, luv,” he breathed as his hips began to find a rhythm.
“Spike…feels so good…” she bit down lightly on his neck and he groaned loudly.
He rested his head in the crook of her neck, licking and biting at it. Buffy’s moans grew louder and Spike slipped his hand between their bodies to rub her clit.
“Oh, god! Spike, don’t stop. Please…so good…Spike!”
“Never stop, pet. Lemme hear you come. Come for me, luv.” He gave her clit a pinch and she came hard, screaming out his name and setting off his own release as her walls strangled him. Her orgasm stretched on as he kept up the pressure on her nub and her fingers dug into his shoulders as she rode it out. Finally, she slumped to the ground and he collapsed on top of her. He started to roll off, but she stopped him.
“No, stay like that…please.”
“Don’t want to crush you.”
She smiled, “You won’t…you just feel good and…”
He kissed her softly and then rested his forehead against hers. She had her eyes closed, but she lightly rubbed her nose against his.
“You know what the worst is?” Buffy asked quietly. “After awhile…I forgot my name…For the first few years, I walked around talking to myself. Then I started talking to myself and answering as well…finally, I just stopped talking…Then…I would realize that I forgot the names of things…I used to…make myself repeat the names of all the states and the names of all my family and friends…everyday…I would say them out loud…when I stopped talking, I would say them in my head…After awhile, I couldn’t remember what they meant…I think that’s when I stopped…being me.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I couldn’t remember being me.” A sob erupted from her and Spike captured her face in his hands.
“Look at me. You are smart and resourceful and a survivor…and you’re bloody gorgeous to boot.” He paused as she let out a small laugh. “And I am never, never lettin’ you out of my sight. I love you Buffy Anne Summers, and ‘m yours until I dust. Never forget that.”
Buffy reached up and pulled him down into another kiss. “Will…will you stay with me…when I go to sleep. I like waking up with you.”
“Always.”
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