Chapter 5
Buffy’s sobbing was the only sound in the room. Buffy. Not Elizabeth. His Elizabeth was dead.
“You’re the First,” Spike muttered. “You’re the First and I’ve gone crazy again. ‘M hearing things, seeing things.”
“No.”
“Yes! I’ve got-I’ve got to call Faith be-before I hurt someone again. Got to tell her the First is back.”
“William, please-“
“STOP CALLING ME THAT!”
“Please.” Her voice was a whisper.
“MY ELIZABETH IS DEAD! SHE DIED! HOW DARE YOU USE HER IMAGE!” Spike roared striking her hard across the face. “Why can I touch you? Not supposed to be able to touch you?” He was crying now, too.
“Why is it so hard to believe? Why?! You came back from the dead. Your precious Faith came back twice! Why can’t you believe that I came back too?” Buffy yelled.
“No! My Elizabeth was not a Slayer. I would have known! I would-would have known.” Spike was leaning against a large trunk in front of her bed.
“How would you have known, William? Did you know about vampires then? About Slayers?” Buffy made no move toward him.
“She-she would have told me. We told each other everything.” Without even noticing, Spike had slipped into the accent of his youth.
“Do you remember the night I climbed the tree outside your window?”
Spike licked his lips. “Someone died…your cousin.”
Buffy shook her head. “Someone died, but not my cousin. That was the night I was Called.”
“No.”
“Yes, William. Something happened during my Cruciamentum. The vampire was some sort of witch doctor before he was turned. He cursed me. I did die, William. I died in my bed with you holding my hand, reciting poetry to me, but I didn’t stay dead. I woke up…in my coffin.” Buffy began to crawl toward him. “I was so afraid, William. I thought-I thought I had been turned. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go to you, but I was afraid that you would think I was a demon…or worse, that I would hurt you.”
“Ethan was your Watcher, wasn’t he?”
“He was. When he saw me…at the door…he staked me, but I didn’t die. I didn’t die, but I didn’t try to run either. I should have run, should have run to you, but I didn’t. Ethan, he-he told me that we had to see the Council. He promised me that he would tell you that it was a mistake, that I woke up in the coffin and the caretaker heard me screaming. He promised that he would bring you to see me.”
Spike growled low in his throat. “I never saw the wanker again. He moved three days after your funeral.”
“I know. We went to the Council. If I had known that it would be seven years before I would walk out again, I wouldn’t have gone. But I didn’t know. I thought they would help me, but all they wanted to do was run tests on me. They wanted to know how I was alive and how I still had a heartbeat. They…they did horrible things to me. They would cut me to see how fast I would heal. Remove my fingers and see if they would reattach themselves. Once, they cut off my hand and didn’t put it back on for a week because they wanted to see if the ‘appendage would regenerate.’ They kept me drugged so I couldn’t get away, but one night they forgot and I escaped. I didn’t know how long it had been. I kept thinking that if I could find you that it would all be okay,” Buffy paused a moment. “I did find you...drinking from Drusilla. I had already figured that I was immortal and I thought that the Powers were taking pity on me, finding a way for me to be with you forever. I should have warned you, should have told you about vampires so that you could protect yourself. I failed. I failed you.”
“Elizabeth,” Spike whispered, holding his arms open.
With a cry, she rushed into him and they clung to each other, sobbing.
“My Elizabeth,” Spike whispered, pressing kisses to the top of her head.
“William,” Buffy moaned, tipping her head back and brushing her lips against his.
Spike caught her face between his hands and held her lips to his, moaning when his tongue found its way into her mouth. He let his mouth run down her neck several times before returning to her lips.
Buffy’s breath was coming in gasps, her hands grasping his forearms tightly. She moaned his name and arched into him when one of his hands found her breast, massaging it and stroking the nipple.
“Bed,” Spike whispered. “Now.” He stood, pulling Buffy up with him and walked her backwards and around to the side of the bed before gently lowering her to the mattress, his mouth never leaving hers.
“Need to breath,” Buffy gasped, breaking contact.
Spike used the moment to pull her camisole over her head and latched his mouth onto her bare breast. Buffy’s fingers fisted in his hair and pushed herself further into his mouth. She pulled at his shirt and he pulled back long enough for her to remove it from his body.
“William,” she breathed as he kissed his way down her stomach and to her waist.
“My Elizabeth,” Spike replied, sliding her sweats and panties off in one smooth move. He paused when he noticed the slight movement that she was making. She was shaking.
Spike moved so that he was lying next to her again. “What’s wrong, luv?”
Buffy turned to look at him. “I-I’ve n-never…I waited…for you. I only wanted you.”
Spike closed his eyes against the tears that were threatening to fall. He’d spent over a hundred years wasting his love on women who didn’t want him and here was his first love telling him that she had waited for him, had wanted only him. He wasn’t worthy of her, was beneath her.
“Is-is something wrong?” Buffy asked, a slight note of panic in her voice. “Did I do something? I-I thought you’d be pleased.”
“Oh, pet.” Spike pulled her tightly against him. “I don’t deserve you. Oh God, I don’t deserve you. I’ve cheated on you for a hundred and twenty five years and you waited for me. I’m unfit for you.”
“No!” Buffy grasped his hands in her own. “You didn’t cheat. You didn’t know. William, if you had known that I was alive, would you have been with me?”
“Yes, I would have moved Heaven and Earth to do so.”
“See, then you weren’t cheating. You weren’t…William, look at me.”
Spike slowly raised his eyes to meet hers and was astounded by the love he saw reflected there.
“William, I want you to make love to me. Even…even if you are only here with me for one night, let’s pretend that this is our wedding night and that I am your wife and you are my husband. No Slayers or Vampires. No Spike and no Buffy. Just William and Elizabeth…Pratt... Please, make me yours.”
Spike held back his sobs as he kissed her gently and complied with her request. Afterward, he held her close.
“William,” Buffy whispered as she lay on the verge of sleep.
“Yes, luv.”
“I will go with you to the Watcher’s Council if you want me to. I only ask for two things; absolutely no testing and…I want…I want to stay with you.”
Spike pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Always, you’ll always be with me.”
XXX
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