Setting: Season five, au from mid-Crush
Summary: Spike is attacked before he can reveal his true feelings to Buffy and the only way to save him involves entering his mind...
Challenge Response: 155
Disclaimer: All produce related to BtVS and Ats are Joss Whedon’s property, not mine, but don’t sue me for borrowing, I’m only human *shifty eyes*
CHAPTER TWO: A wish for unconsciousness
Darkness surrounded her; consuming and complete. She couldn’t tell if she was sitting or standing. Her legs ached, but she couldn’t feel them. She felt heavy but numb, both at the same time.
Silence beat a heavy rhythm against her ear drums. She felt like she was both blind and deaf; lacking two of the most important senses and fumbling around in the silent blackness, desperately seeking the reason she was here.
Spike. She was here to help Spike.
And like smoke against a midnight sky, his voice slowly seeped into her consciousness.
‘This was… The last time I ever saw you………….’
Words whispered into her mind, as if wherever he was, Spike had merely thought them, rather than said them aloud.
Then slowly, light leaked into the darkness and a scene unfolded in front of her.
Spike was standing outside her house, his eyes focused on her bedroom window. He looked sad. Gutted even. Buffy couldn’t figure why he would look that way.
“Spike?” she asked, taking a tentative step towards him. He didn’t react, didn’t seem to hear her. “Spike?”
“They’re erasing you Buffy.” he said without turning toward her.
“What?” she asked. His eyes were still focused on her bedroom window. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“They’re erasing you.”
The world flashed and she was in Spike’s crypt. Harmony was creeping through the darkness wearing, eeew, wearing Buffy’s own sweater.
Buffy cringed when she realized Harmony was pretending to be her; holding a stake above her head and spouting some drivel about being the chosen-
Spike leapt out of the darkness, sweeping Harmony up in his arms and throwing her onto his bed.
Before Buffy could even contemplate how disgusting and *wrong* that little scene truly was, the world flashed once more, and she found herself lying beside Spike in Harmony’s place.
“It wasn’t you.” Spike said, his eyes and voice soft. He was propped up on one elbow, entirely naked, and gazing down at her. “But for a second, I let myself believe that it was.”
“Spike, what’s going on?” Buffy asked, her eyes pleading with him.
He frowned. “You’ve never asked questions before.” he said, confusion in his gaze, “You’re just a memory. You’re not supposed to speak to me.”
“No Spike,” she said, “We did a spell. Dawn found you unconscious at your crypt then we did a spell so I could go into your mind and find you. We-”
“You did a spell?”
“Yeah.”
“But…” His eyes blurred a little. “God.” he said. “God. This is it then.”
“What?”
“Buffy, you don’t know what you’ve done.”
She stared at him, confused beyond belief. Here she lay, naked beside the mortal enemy she was trying to save, and nothing made any sense.
“Spike, what-”
“Don’t you understand?” he asked. “They’re erasing you.”
Her brow creased once more as she stared at him, “You said that before.” she whispered. “What do you mean?”
But he was already climbing from the bed, moving on.
“Harm, I can’t do this anymore.” he was saying, though she sensed he was merely recalling a memory now. “You know why.”
“You love her.” said a voice beside Buffy, and she started with shock as she rolled over and found Harmony lying beside her in the bed, wearing nothing but the blue cashmere sweater and staring straight through her at Spike with sadness in her eyes. “Isn’t that it Spike?”
He looked away, and Buffy wondered who they were talking about.
“You know she’ll never love you.” Harmony said, lashings of venom in her pretty voice. “She’ll use you at best. Or she’ll just kill you.”
“I know.” Spike said, and there was both annoyance and exasperation in his voice. “It’s not going to happen, I know that. But I can’t be with anyone else right now.”
“I get it.” Harmony snapped, throwing the bed covers off of her and slamming her feet down. “I’m not good enough for old Spikey.” she glared at him, and Buffy blanched at the venom her eyes held. “Fine. But you can get the Hell out.”
Spike stared at for a moment.
“OUT!”
She threw a stiletto heel at him and he sprinted to dodge it. He looked back fleetingly at the blond beauty in his bed, then sighed.
“I’ll-”
“OUT!”
Buffy quickly leapt from the bed, following him through the door, and finding herself in a dark alleyway. She looked back at the crypt she had just exited, but found a brick wall in its place.
“Spike, what’s going on?” she asked, for what seemed like the hundredth time.
“This is all my fault.” he replied, head hanging low as he stared at the ground. “I did this. I made the wish.”
“A wish?” Buffy asked, “Well that’s fine. Wishes can be fixed.”
“Not this one.” he clenched his fist, then threw it into the wall. “Screw it!” he yelled, “I wish I could just forget the stupid bitch! I wish I could take every single memory I have of her and lose them. I wish I could look her in the eye, and not have a clue who the bloody hell she is!” he looked up and met eyes with Buffy. “I wish she could be erased from my memory, just to make the bloody pain go away.”
His eyes fell to the ground again and Buffy watched as he all but crumbled.
“Spike…” she said, her voice a little softer, “Surly… Surly things couldn’t have been that bad.”
He looked back up at her with a nasty snarl. “You have no idea.”
The words ‘wish granted’ floated around the alleyway in mocking of the vampire’s secret request, and that was when the glarghk guhl kashma'nik demon leapt out at him. Spike managed to look both surprised and terrified, despite the fact that he must have known it was coming.
‘Wish granted’ that sickly sweet voice rang out once again as Spike went into combat with the demon.
Time lapsed to make the fight last just a moment. One second Spike was slinging his fist into the beasts face, and the next he was pinned to the ground. Buffy cried out as the demon flipped him over effortlessly then stabbed its venomous spear mercilessly down into the trembling vampire’s spine. The scene melted slowly away to blackness and Buffy found herself in the familiar abyss of silent darkness.
‘This was… The last time I ever saw you………….’
Light melted back into her eyes and she was walking behind Spike. Spike himself, gripping his back in obvious agony, was strolling a little faster than necessary, as if trying to get somewhere quickly. She soon realized they were headed toward her house.
Maybe he’d wanted to ask her for help before the demon’s poison took full effect.
But then he stopped, his eyes focused on her bedroom window as sadness crept over his face.
“Guess this is it.” he muttered as Buffy watched him with confusion. “The last time pet.”
“Spike…”
“I only saw you for a second.” he said, still not looking away from the window. Buffy looked up in time to see the curtain twitch slightly, a sliver of her body appearing for the briefest moment between the folds of fabric. “But it was enough.” Once again she was hidden from view. “There was no point bothering you.” he said, turning to face her now. “It was already too late.”
“Too late for what.” Buffy asked, swamped by the confusion of these twisted memories. “Spike, I’m so confused.”
“Give it time pet.” he said. “You’ll forget.”
“Forget?”
“Think about it.”
‘This was… The last time I ever saw you…………..’
Buffy’s brow creased with confusion as the world before her melted away into darkness, never to be seen again.
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A/N: Sorry for the slightly shorter chapter, I just wanted to get a little something up as promised. Incase anyone was interested, I had an incredible time in Africa, heh, and I still managed to get this chapter up in time! It’s an amazing and awe-inspiring place which fed my muse fantastically :]:] The next chapter will be up as soon as it’s written [shouldn’t be long at all] So, hope you enjoyed, and please review. Much love, wall_flower XxX
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