Author's Notes:
A bitttersweet post-Chosen fic, written before season five of Angel. Not unrelently grim by any means, but if you are looking for a fluffy reunion fic, this is not it.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Expecting the Unexpected
“Buffy, Faith’s here!” Dawn called. Buffy paused in her potato-mashing momentarily to call out a ‘hello’ to the other Slayer. One of the other Slayers, she corrected herself. Buffy was preparing dinner for her old friends in Giles’s kitchen. She and Dawn had been staying with Giles in England ever since – ever since they stopped the world ending last time. Ever since Sunnydale was destroyed in the ‘earthquake’. Despite the tension there had sometimes been between them last year, Giles was still the closest thing she and Dawn had to family.
There was a loud crack and a flash of red light, accompanied by a sweet, burning smell.
“Buffy, Willow’s here!” Dawn called.
“Figured!” Buffy called in reply.
“Look what you’ve done to my carpet!” she heard Giles explode. Willow escaped the Watcher’s wrath by heading to the kitchen to hug her oldest friend, Dawn following behind her.
“Hey Wil!” Buffy said, hugging her friend tight.
“Hey Buff! Gosh, have you put on a little weight? Must be lack of slaying.”
“Thanks a lot, Will,” Buffy said, blushing slightly, “Anyway I do slay. Well, I do patrol. There just aren’t so many vamps in Westbury as there were in good old Sunnyhell.” If the other two girls noticed her use of Spike’s old nickname for their old town, they didn’t remark on it.
“Hey, Willow,” Dawn began, “Did you know British people don’t even celebrate Thanksgiving? How wack is that?” Willow exchanged an amused glance with Buffy.
“So,” Buffy began, “You’re here…alone?”
“Yeah,” Willow shrugged, “Kennedy and I kinda broke up. She was getting a little…well, really it was more of a rebound thing, you know? I think we both realised there’s a whole world out there and neither of us was ready to settle down.”
“Cookie dough,” Buffy said, sadly, “Be careful, Will.”
“Careful?”
“Don’t you ever think: what if there never is a perfect time when you’re cookies – I mean when you’re ‘ready to settle down’. What if because you think there is some perfect baking cookie time of readiness you actually lose your shot at happiness?”
“I don’t know, Buffy,” Willow said gently, seeing her friend was getting a little worked up. “Actually I think Tara was my chance, but she’s gone. Kennedy showed me it was possible to move on, but I think I always knew I wasn’t going to be with her forever. Maybe there isn’t one ‘perfect baking time’, but maybe people get second chances, you know?”
“Yeah,” Buffy said under her breath, “And maybe people let their second chances die.”
“Buffy? You want me to stir the gravy?” Dawn asked.
“Gravy? Oh god, gravy!” Buffy started to panic as she ran around the kitchen attending to various pans and ovens.
*
“Giles, can you pass the yams?” Faith asked.
“You don’t want anything else, Faith?” Buffy offered, “Turkey, cranberry jelly?”
“No, I’m cool with yams, thanks B,” Faith replied, “Although…Giles, you don’t have any pickle, do you?”
“I’ll see what I can find,” Giles replied, rising and heading to the kitchen, muttering a single word under his breath that might well have been ‘Americans!’
“Eww! Yams and pickle?” Dawn made a face.
“If even Dawn is going ‘eww’, you know you’re onto a loser,” Willow said, smiling.
Buffy stared at the food on her plate, the food she’d spent hours preparing. As she stared it started to melt together in front of her and she began to feel queasy.
“Excuse me,” she said, pushing her chair back and running up the stairs to the bathroom.
“She’s hurling again,” Dawn said, raising her eyebrows, “It’s been weeks now, but you know what Buffy’s like with doctors.”
“Is that so?” Faith said, pushing her chair back and heading after Buffy, just as Giles appeared in the doorway with a green jar.
“Pickle?”
*
Buffy rinsed out her mouth and looked up at her reflection in the bathroom cabinet mirror. At her and Faith’s reflections.
“Yo, B.”
“Faith.” Buffy turned around. “Don’t know what’s wrong with me, must have been something I ate.”
“You didn’t eat anything yet,” Faith said.
“Then maybe it was the thought of yams and pickles,” Buffy snapped.
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Faith said, with a knowing look in her eye.
“What?” Buffy asked irritably, wiping her face with a flannel.
“Being pregnant.” Faith shrugged. Buffy dropped the flannel and gaped at Faith, open mouthed.
“How could you possibly know?” Buffy asked.
“It’s like they say,” Faith said, leaning against the doorframe and patting her stomach with a smile, “Takes one to know one.”
*
All through dinner, Buffy couldn’t wait for the chance to talk alone with Faith. When everyone had finally finished, the washing up had been done and Willow and Giles started a long and specialised conversation about ritual summonings, Faith managed to sneak up to her room, closely followed by Buffy.
“How are you, who’s the father, does he know, what are you going to do?” Buffy asked as soon as she shut the door behind her.
“Five by five, Robin Wood, no, and I don’t really know.” Faith replied.
“How…how long…?” Buffy asked.
“Ever since...Sunnydale.”
“After..?”
“Before.” Faith shrugged, “Hell, the world was ending; safe sex wasn’t the first thing on our minds.”
“And you….definitely want to keep it?”
Faith sat on the bed and bit her lip. “Actually, I did go to a clinic. But I was sitting there, looking at the peeling poster on the wall and the sad faces of everyone there and for some reason it just reminded me of prison, and I thought, ‘No, this is something no-one can take away from me.’” She patted her stomach. “And this little baby’s gonna grow up to be a kick-ass Slayer just like her mom.”
“What if it’s a boy?” Buffy smiled.
“Then he’ll be like his daddy.” Faith paused, frowning in thought, “Actually he’ll be exactly like his daddy.” Faith looked at Buffy, “How about you, B?” To her astonishment, Buffy started to cry.
“I’m sorry, Faith,” Buffy said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, “I’m just so afraid.”
“I’m sure it won’t hurt that much,” Faith said, “Slayer stamina, after all.”
“It’s not the pain I’m worried about,” Buffy sniffed, “I’m just so alone.”
“You’re not alone,” Faith said, “You’ve got Giles, and lil sis, and Willow and, hell, you’ve even got me, since we’re in the same boat we should stick together.”
Buffy smiled weakly, “Thanks, Faith. I mean it.”
“You’re welcome.” Faith looked carefully at the bump that was barely beginning to show.
“How long…?” she echoed Buffy’s question from earlier.
“Same as you,” Buffy answered in a very small voice.
“A bit of pre-apocalypse tension relief, huh?” Faith quipped, raising an eyebrow, “Who….” Then it dawned on her. Who had Buffy been really close to in the last few days in Sunnydale? Who was the only one who went after her when all her friends kicked her out of her own home? “Spike.”
Flashback: Sunnydale 2003
“Faith still has my room.”
“Well, you’re not staying here, you’ve got Angel-breath!”
“I understand.” She turned to go, but before she reached the stairs he was in front of her, barring her path.
“Clearly you don’t, as the whole having my pride thing was just a smokescreen.”
“Oh thank god!” She sighed in relief.
“I don’t know what I would have done if you’d gone up those stairs,” he said, looking intently into her eyes.
“Let’s not find out,” she said, reaching up to stroke his cheek gently. She pulled his head down to hers and they kissed, softly at first but becoming increasingly passionate. Buffy realised that she needed Spike; she needed to be closer to him. She slid her hands underneath his t-shirt and lifted it over his head.
“Buffy…” he said wonderingly, eyes shining with admiration and love.
“Spike…I need you,” Buffy said honestly, “Make love to me.” Spike took a deep breath, then took her in his arms and carried her over to the small bed………
………………………………………………………………………………………….
“Spike.” Faith repeated. It wasn’t a question. Buffy nodded dumbly. “Shit,” Faith whistled, leaning back. No wonder she’s scared. Here’s me going on about whether I’m going to have a boy or a girl and she doesn’t know if what she’s going to have is even going to be human. Surprising herself as well as Buffy, Faith put a comforting arm around the blonde’s shoulders.
“How…” Faith began. Buffy laughed.
“I never thought I’d have to explain that to you, Faith!”
“No, I mean, he’s a vampire, surely they can’t…”
“I don’t know.” Buffy said.
“You should talk to Giles, maybe he could find…”
“No.” Buffy said shortly.
“Why?”
“Because. Because I don’t want them to know. Because I don’t want to find out my child is a monster that I’m going to have to Slay. Because I couldn’t bear their looks of pity and disgust. Because I couldn’t bear losing the only thing I have left. The only thing I have left of him.” Buffy sobbed. Faith handed her a tissue.
“Come on, B. We can get through this. We’re Slayers.” Faith gave her a friendly squeeze.
“Yeah, us and half the world, these days,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes.
“Look, we’ll get through together. I know we haven’t always been close, tried to kill each other a few times, but hey, you got any friends left who haven’t tried to kill you, or you haven’t tried to kill them?”
“Actually…no,” Buffy admitted.
“See? Only you gotta promise me something,” Faith said, seriously.
“Ok,” This is weird, Buffy thought, Faith is taking care of me.
“You gotta tell Giles, get him to figure out how this all went down.”
“Yeah,” Buffy said, “Ok. Just…when I’m ready.”
*
“See ya, B!” Faith said, when she left the next morning, “Remember to do that thing.” She hugged Buffy and kissed her on the lips, much to everyone else’s surprise.
“Sure thing,” Buffy said, “And Faith –“ Faith turned. “Take care of yourself.”
“Always do, B, always do.” And she was gone, leaving Buffy, Dawn and Giles alone.
*
It was maybe a month after Faith left that Buffy finally summoned up the courage to talk to Giles about her condition. Even then, it was only after three nights of vivid and horrifying nightmares about giving birth to a fanged snake which tried to strangle her that Buffy decided she had to speak up. Dawn was out with friends, a sleepover. Giles was sat alone in his office when Buffy knocked timidly on the door, forcing herself to remember that she was the Slayer; that she could be strong and would be strong.
“Giles, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” she began nervously, picking at the paint on the doorframe.
“Buffy, come in, what is it? Is it about you paying rent? Because what I said before still holds, you and Dawn are welcome here as long as you want to be here.”
“Thanks, Giles, but actually it was…something else.” Giles looked up at the serious tone in his Slayer’s voice.
“Go on.”
“I…I’m pregnant.” She blurted out. Giles’ eyebrows flew up in shock. He took his glasses off and began cleaning them thoughtfully.
“Who…er, when…?”
“Spike. Just before…” Buffy told him faintly. Giles put his glasses back on and stared at her.
“I see. You’re sure?” he asked. Buffy nodded.
“I haven’t…that is, there hasn’t been anyone else.”
“I see, “ Giles repeated, “Have you any idea how…”
“I was rather hoping you could tell me,” Buffy replied.
“Ah, of course.” Giles frowned.
“Giles…I’m scared. I need to know if it will be…human or…” she trailed off.
“Without knowing how exactly you conceived I really can’t tell you,” Giles said, “But we’ll find out soon, I promise,” he added reassuringly. “Now tell me, do you remember anything unusual?”
“Other than it being the end of the world and me sleeping with my former mortal enemy who got a soul because of me, in a house full of potential slayers in a deserted town? I’d have to say no, nothing unusual.” Buffy said sarcastically.
“Buffy, please. This is important. If there’s anything…”
“I don’t know,” she said more seriously, “I mean, I was kind of caught up in the moment if you know what I mean.”
“Yes, I, er…yes, I see,” Giles said, slightly flustered.
Flashback: Sunnydale.
Spike hesitated.
“Buffy, love, are you sure?”
“Yes,” she whispered, “Please, Spike.” He moaned. It was gentler than it had ever been before, than she had ever allowed it to be before. Spike kissed her neck as he moved on top of her, naked except for the amulet.
“My champion,” Buffy said, smiling as she touched the amulet, then forgetting all about the pendant as she traced her fingers over Spike’s chest.
Buffy threw her head back in ecstasy as their love making became more desperate, eyes focusing on her lover, barely aware that the amulet had begun to glow faintly…………
*
Buffy opened her eyes. “The amulet!” she cried.
“I’m sorry?” Giles looked up from his book and blinked at her.
“The amulet. Spike was wearing it when we…you know, and it…it was glowing!” Buffy said excitedly. “That could be it, right, it could explain why…”
“Very little is known about the powers of the amulet, but it is certainly somewhere to start,” Giles said. “And Buffy?”
“Yu-huh?”
“You know I am here for you, don’t you?” he said in a protective, fatherly tone, “Whatever happens.”
“Yeah,” Buffy said, “Thanks Giles.”
*
Buffy decided after conferring with Giles that it would be best not to tell Dawn about the baby until they were sure it was a baby, not some kind of monster. However, Giles had also decided that Buffy should go to the hospital for a scan, to give them more of an idea about what she was carrying.
“But even if it was some kind of vamp/human half-breed it would look human, right, so we still wouldn’t know?” Buffy said as they pulled into the hospital car park.
“Buffy, I know you hate hospitals, but try to understand that this is for the best. And never in all my reading have I come across such a thing as a half-vampire being born to a human.”
“Have you ever heard of a vampire siring a child?” Buffy paused, “Perhaps ‘siring’ wasn’t the best choice of word…”
“Actually I have come across some instances but all between two vampires, resulting in abominations.” Giles said. Buffy flinched at the word. “Angel and Darla’s child, for example…”
“Giles, if the choice is between going for a scan and staying here listening to you talk about abominations, I think I’ll go for the scan. You coming?”
“Do you want me to come?”
“Well somebody needs to knock the nurse unconscious if they find out it’s a fire-breathing snake instead of a baby, and I don’t think that is a job for a pregnant lady!” Buffy said with a half smile.
“Very well. Although you know the chances of a vampire/ human offspring being a fire-breathing snake is extremely small….”
*
“Summers, Buffy.”
“Just sit down here, Buffy. Is this the father?” the nurse asked, looking oddly at Giles.
“Yes. No. That is, he’s my father. Step father. The baby’s father is dead.” Buffy explained.
“I’m so sorry,” the nurse said sympathetically. Buffy fought away tears. The scan wasn’t nearly as horrible as Buffy expected.
“Everything seems normal,” the nurse said, smiling, “All parts present and correct. Of course, some defects are impossible to detect at this stage.”
“Does it have a heartbeat?” Buffy asked, trembling.
“Yes, a good healthy heartbeat,” the nurse replied, “Is this your first?” Buffy nodded.
“Congratulations,” the nurse said, “Would you like to know about the sex?”
“Thanks, but I really don’t think I’ll be having any more of that any time soon,” Buffy quipped.
“I meant…”
“I know. No, don’t tell me. Just knowing it’s human - mean healthy - is enough.”
*
A few months later…
“Push!” the midwife said as the Slayer’s shouts grew louder, “Almost there!”
“No way am I doing that!” Buffy said, as she and Dawn waited in the next room, “If Faith can’t take it, I sure can’t!” she began to panic.
“I think it’s a bit late to change your mind, Buffy,” Dawn teased.
“Robin Wood you bastard I’ll slay you for this!” they heard Faith shout, “God damn it!”
“I guess Faith isn’t as tough as she makes out,” Dawn said, laughing, “She…Buffy are you ok?” she asked, brow furrowing in concern.
“Dawn, I think…I think I’m going to have a baby,” Buffy said.
“Well, yeah, I didn’t think you’d just been scoffing too many Oreos!” Dawn retorted.
“No, Dawn, I mean…now!” Buffy gasped as the contraction made her double up in pain.
“Help!” Dawn cried, panicking suddenly, “Somebody!”
“Owwwww!” Buffy moaned.
*
“How you doing?” Buffy asked, as Faith was wheeled in to see her.
“Five by five, “Faith replied, “How you holdin’ up, girlfriend?”
“I’ve been in more pain,” Buffy said, “But not much more!” Faith smiled and turned the small scrap of blanket in arms so Buffy could see.
“Nicholas Wood, meet your aunty Buffy,” Faith said. Buffy peered at the small squashed face with its tiny black curls of hair.
“Oh Faith, he’s adorable!” Buffy exclaimed. Then she smiled. “Could you bring her here?” she asked the young male nurse who had wheeled Faith in, indicating the incubator by the side of the bed. He obeyed, picking up the small fair-haired baby and handing her to her young mother.
“This is Isabelle Joyce Summers,” Buffy said proudly, “Isabelle, meet your aunty Faith.” Faith smiled.
“She’s sweet, B. You know it’s funny, I always figured I’d have a girl and you’d have a boy.”
“Really? You wanna swap?” Buffy teased.
“No way, I’m keeping my little soldier,” Faith said, stroking her son’s head gently. Buffy smiled in amazement. She’d never seen Faith so gentle with anything. With Faith it was usually want, take, have or crush, kill, destroy.
Faith was wheeled out again to get some rest. Even Slayers needed some time to get over giving birth. It was a good job there were so many more Slayers now, Buffy reflected. She looked down at little Isabelle. She wasn’t sure where the name had come from, but she thought it was pretty. Buffy felt an ache when the little girl opened her eyes, blue like Spike’s, an ache she knew would never completely heal; but as she pressed a kiss to her small daughter’s forehead she had a strange feeling of contentment, completeness. Then she realised.
I’m cookies.
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