Chapter 6: Green Eyed Monster
"Hey Buffy!" It was Willow, sitting with a tall, fair-haired girl Buffy didn't recognise.
"Hey Wil," she looked pointedly at Willow's new friend. Willow looked slightly sheepish.
"Uh, Buffy this is Tara. Tara, Buffy." she waved her hands at each girl in turn unnecessarily.
"H-h-hi Buffy," Tara stuttered shyly, "Nice to finally meet you, I've h-h-heard so much about you."
"And I've heard...absolutely nothing about you, sorry. But it's nice to meet you anyway," Buffy said brightly. Willow looked guilty as Tara raised an accusing eyebrow in her direction. "Either of you want a drink?" Buffy asked, but the two girls shook their heads.
Buffy headed towards the bar, and caught her breath at the familiar sight of a certain blond vampire sat on one of the bar stools. Buffy fingered her ring nervously. "Hi Spike,"
"Hello," Spike said shortly, before finishing his drink in one gulp and moving away without another glance. Buffy gaped after him, hurt. She tried to remind herself that she had no reason to be hurt, that Spike and her were not even friends, that there was no reason he should talk to her, no reason she should want him to talk to her. All the times she had told him she wished he would leave her alone and now he finally was it hurt. Subdued, Buffy ordered a beer, forgetting that last time she had drunk beer she had turned into cave-Buffy. A hand on her shoulder made her jump. Spike?
"Hey Buffy," It was Riley. He leaned in to kiss her lightly on the lips and it took all of Buffy's presence of mind not to recoil from his embrace.
"Hi Riley," she smiled at him and it seemed to take all of her slayer strength to move her mouth into a smile. "You want to go talk to Willow and Tara?" she suggested.
"I think they might want to be alone, you know, Buffy?" Riley said meaningfully.
"What do you mean?" Buffy was confused.
"Well, they look kind of...cosy." Riley continued.
"Cosy? Oh......Really? Willow?" Buffy looked over at her friend, shocked. Willow? And that girl...Tara? But surely Willow would have told me, she thought. Yeah, like I've told her about Spike. Not that there's anything to tell...Buffy looked over at Spike just as Riley was putting his arm around her and leading her to the dance floor.
Spike stared back for a second then looked away. Bitch. She was here with that idiot. Why can't she see that I'm better for her than that nancy boy? Spike wondered. He had given up thinking now about how it came to be that he accepted his feelings for Buffy - Buffy, now, not 'Slayer'. Whether it was the spell, or whether the spell had only re-awoken the feelings of attraction that he'd already had for her, he didn't know and he didn't care anymore. But she was here with soldier boy. Well, he could show her. Maybe he couldn't fight anymore, but he could still...Spike's lips curled into a smile as he spotted a dark-haired girl dancing enthusiastically and definitely checking him out.
Buffy swayed to the music, wrapped in Riley's arms. It didn't feel bad. It was quite...pleasant. Riley was a nice guy. There weren't enough nice guys in her life. Only guys who were really bad for her. She was sure she could be quite content with Riley if it weren't for...Spike. His name was like a stake through the heart of all her thoughts for a normal, peaceful future with Riley. Without even meaning to, Buffy opened her eyes and scanned the room for Spike.
Then she saw him. Dancing with some girl. Or more like grinding. Buffy clutched Riley's arm tighter, feeling sick to her stomach. How could he? She felt tears stinging her eyes and was furious with herself for them.
"I'm sorry, Riley, I just...I need some air," she stammered out an apology and all but ran from the dance floor, shooting Spike a murderous glance as she barged past. Outside, she gulped in mouthfuls of air.
"Looking for some company, sweetheart?" Buffy turned to see a tall vampire with straggly black hair and bad teeth. Brilliant. Vampires. All I need. Buffy didn't even bother with a retort, instead launching herself at the vamp and pummelling it. Screw Giles's "plunge and move on", she was out to inflict some serious damage.
"Stupid!" (punch) "Bloody!" (kick) "Evil!" (punch) "Soulless!" (slam) "Bastard!" (punch) "Vampires!" (kick) "I" (punch) "Really" (stake) "Hate you!" The vamp exploded in a shower of dust and Buffy slumped to the floor, stake in hand, fighting the tide of misery that threatened to engulf her.
A gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Just leave me alone for a few minutes, please, Riley," she said quietly.
"What's up, Slayer?" It was Spike. Buffy scrambled to her feet.
"Spike!" her eyes narrowed. "What do you want?" Spike resisted the impulse to tell her simply that he wanted her.
"You came out of here in a bit of a hurry Slayer," Spike shrugged, "Had a tiff with Agent Finn?"
"Just...sod off Spike!" Buffy shouted, using his own slang against him, "Just go back inside. I'm sure your new friend is waiting for you."
"Oho, so that's it? You're jealous?" Spike took a step towards her, grinning.
"Please! I am so not jealous." Buff lied unconvincingly, "It's just...she was skanky."
"Yeah and Captain Cardboard's the perfect guy for you, isn't he?" Spike scoffed.
"How dare you! Riley is my boyfriend."
"Yeah, like I'm your husband." Spike retorted.
"That's not real! We are only married in a...legal sense."
"And what you've got with Finn is real, I suppose?" Spike asked, suddenly serious, "Buffy," he grabbed her by the shoulders, "Look at me and tell me that oaf makes you happy? Look in my eyes and tell me you wouldn't rather be with me?"
"Spike...I can't!" Buffy pleaded, pulling away. Spike held her tighter,
"Buffy..." he said softly, the tenderness in his voice making her shiver. Buffy looked up into his eyes.
"Spike, when I look at you all I can think is that I will die if you don't kiss me again," she said, trembling.
Chapter 7: Just lust?
A/N: This chapter is only short because it was surprisingly difficult to write the sex-scene! Rated R for sexual content.
Spike's eyes widened at Buffy's admission of her desire for him. In a heartbeat his lips were on hers, his arms slid around her waist. She responded hungrily to his kiss, unable to think of anything beyond this moment, this kiss. Spike's hand reached for her head and pulled her even closer to him, his body crushed against hers. Without breaking the kiss, she led Spike away from the entrance to the Bronze, into the shadows. His hands ran faster over her body. Buffy moaned as he caught her lip in his mouth and sucked it. He moved his mouth down and covered her neck with increasingly hard kisses.
"I want you," he whispered, his hands expertly untying the knot on her halter neck top, so that it fell down to reveal her breasts. Buffy gasped at the feel of his cool hands as they caressed her hardening nipples. "You're so beautiful," Spike murmured as his tongue flicked over her bare skin, causing her breath to come in ragged gasps. She pushed her body closer to his. Spike responded to her eagerness, lifting her up and crushing her against the wall with his body. There was no mistaking his arousal. And Buffy knew then that it wasn't enough, she needed to be closer to him, needed him inside her.
"Spike, I need you. Now." she whispered urgently. He slid his hands along her bare thighs, higher and higher. She cried out with pleasure as he slid her underwear to the ground.
"Now, please..." she panted, every square inch of her body aching for him to take her. Spike reached down to undo his zip, responding without thinking to the demands of his body and his heart, both of which were screaming the same thing. But somewhere inside, something made him hold back - the possibility that despite everything she only wanted to be teased and would stake him should he dare to -
"You're sure, love?" he asked as he pressed against her. The feeling of him hard against her drove Buffy wild.
"Yes!" she groaned insistently, "Please, Spike...oh yes," They sighed simultaneously as he plunged deep inside her. She wrapped her legs tighter around his body as he thrust into her again and again. His mouth smashed against hers in a bruising kiss, his knuckles were grazed as her abandoned rocking trapped them against the rough brick wall, but he felt no pain, lost in the ecstasy of the moment. Buffy bit down hard on his neck to stifle her moans as she reached a desperate climax. Spike shuddered and collapsed against her with his head resting on her soft breasts.
Buffy leaned back against the wall, breathing hard. Ok, she thought, what the hell just happened? I just had sex. With Spike. And it was amazing. She blinked, trying to work it out. No spell. Just genuine desire. And now? She shifted uncomfortably. Sensing this, Spike pulled away from her. Feet back on solid ground, Buffy risked a glance at Spike, but looked away quickly, frightened at the unusual tenderness and protectiveness on his face. Lustful Spike she could deal with, but he was looking at her now the way he had when they'd exchanged vows while still under the influence of Willow's spell, and she was scared to even think about what that meant.
"No spell," she repeated aloud, "Just...lust." Spike's face darkened, and he felt as though his unbeating heart had been twisted in an iron grip. Just lust. Was that all it was to her? He'd never had sex so desperate and passionate, even in his wilder excesses with Dru. How could she be so casual? He stepped away and folded his arms.
"Fine, luv. Better get back to your boyfriend, now, then, eh?" he sneered, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible as he zipped up his jeans. "Captain Cardboard'll probably be wondering where you got to." Buffy was upset. How could he mention Riley after what had just happened?
"You're a pig, Spike," she said crossly, backing away from him.
"You'll be needing these, I suppose," he taunted picking up her discarded knickers and holding them out to her. Buffy took them and punched him in the jaw.
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"Buffy?" Riley was concerned, taking in her dishevelled appearance, "What happened to you."
"Vampires," Buffy said shortly, by way of explanation. Riley's frown of concern deepened.
"You should have called for back-up."
"Riley I've been killing vampires for four years now without back-up, I know how to handle myself." Just not when it comes to the kissing, and the complications, she added silently. "Besides, Spike was there." Her heart lurched painfully as she attempted to say his name casually, but when she saw him re-enter the club, she knew she would have to say something. Riley looked at the bleach-blonde vampire, the trickle of blood on his face matching up with Buffy's account of a vampire fight.
Spike tried not to look at Buffy as he walked past. He shouldn't have come back in. He'd wanted to prove that he had pride, that he had backbone; that he wouldn't be turned into a wreck by being given the brush off. But seeing her, with that oaf touching the same hot skin he'd touched only moments before, he wasn't sure he would be able to prove anything of the kind. He was torn between the desire to punch Riley, grab her away and take her again, and the more pathetic but also more likely desire to collapse to the floor and cry like a girl. In the end, of course, he did neither. Instead he cast one more longing look at Buffy and stalked out, heart breaking as he saw Riley's hand reach out to stroke her soft hair.
Buffy watched him go, feeling sick. Riley was stroking her hair comfortingly and she resisted with difficulty the impulse to push him away and to run out after Spike and throw herself into his arms.
"You should go home, get some rest," Riley was saying. Buffy nodded, letting Riley steer her by the arm and walk her home.
"Are you ok, Buffy?" Riley asked, "You seem a little...distracted. Again."
She twisted her mouth into a false smile.
"I'm sorry, Riley. I'm just tired. I'll call you tomorrow," she said in what she hoped was a bright-but-tired voice.
"Sure," Riley said.
He's so understanding. Why does he have to be like that? He doesn't actually understand! It's so annoying. Buffy knew that she was going to have to sort out the problem of her non-relationship with Riley. Just not right now. Riley kissed her swiftly on the lips. Buffy could only think of the taste of Spike's lips. Lips of Spike. Suddenly, not at all an icky thought. She wanted him so badly, she thought she would cry. Instead she curled up in her bed, hugging Mr. Gordo and willing herself to stop thinking about him with no success.
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