Chapter 15: Transference
He looked dead, skin pale as moonlight, not moving, not breathing. Well, nothing new there, Buffy reflected, he was an undead creature, after all. Funny, that without realising it she hadn’t thought of him as an undead creature, a monster for a long time now. A long time before he had returned from Africa with his soul. How long she had been thinking of him as the man she loved, without even noticing it, Buffy didn’t know.
She supposed he was sleeping now. Hard to tell, floating in the depths of space whether it was day or night. But even vampires needed to rest at some point. Especially those who had only barely escaped with their lives from cruel torture for the second time in a matter of months. Still, he looked so pale and helpless, lying there. She didn’t like seeing him like this.
She had told herself she wasn’t going to go see him. But it was ok while he was asleep, there wouldn’t be so much awkward silence or lame attempts at conversation. She could just be with him and know he was, well, not dead. And how sad was that? He had moved on, evidently, so why couldn’t she?
Buffy sighed, as she realised she would be late for the ritual. Glancing around to check that she was alone, she leaned in and planted a feverish kiss on Spike’s cold brow, before making a swift exit.
*
“Are you sure this is going to work?” Kaylee chewed her hair nervously. With the amount of wounded on board Serenity, it was difficult to find a flat surface for River to lie on while the ritual was performed, so they had ended up using the kitchen table. Willow sat at the top end of the table, River’s head cradled in her lap, the Source to one side, a circle of candles to the other.
“It’ll be fine,” Willow assured her, although her voice didn’t exactly inspire confidence, “Just as long as she doesn’t move her head,” she added, with a nervous glance at the proximity of River’s hair to the lighted candles.
Simon paced the room at the foot of the table. Kaylee got up and went over to him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Book was the final occupant of the room. He had expressed a curiosity to witness first hand the practise of magics he had only heard about in tales, he had said.
All except River looked up as Buffy entered.
“Buffy, good you’re here,” Willow sounded relieved.
“Will, are you sure about this?” Buffy asked her seriously.
“Well, I haven’t done a spell exactly like this before, so there’s no telling whether it will work.”
“But what about you?” Buffy persisted, “Will you be ok doing this? I mean, you’re not going to go all veiny and world-endy?”
“I can’t promise, Buffy,” Willow pleaded with her, “We’re talking about a lot of power, here. I don’t know what could happen. But it’s power we need, right?”
“Yeah,” Buffy nodded, “We need it. We’ve risked a lot for it already,” Maybe too much, she added silently; but to Willow she just nodded. It was permission; permission to take the risk.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Willow said to her, and Buffy’s heart leapt at the idea that she was still needed by Willow, even though what Willow might need her for in this instance was to kill her, if things got out of control.
Willow took a deep breath and began to chant. For a long time nothing happened. Willow’s hands dropped to rest lightly on River’s temple. She repeated the words of the chant.
Looking across at the witch and the young Slayer, then at the faintly glowing green source between them, Buffy realised that this spell to transfer Slayer energy might require a bit more energy and focus than they currently had between them. She walked calmly and deliberately over to where Willow sat, and put her hands reassuringly on the witch’s shoulders, praying silently that this energy transferral spell wouldn’t serve to take all her Slayer power, just the energy needed for the ritual.
There was a steady build up of light in the room. Whether it was coming from the Source or one or even all three of the girls, the spectators in the room would later be hard pressed to say. Willow’s breathing and chanting became increasingly frantic and there was a low moan from River.
Suddenly, the intensity of the light drew rapidly until no-one could see more than an inch in front of their faces. Jayne, who chose that moment to enter the galley in search of a snack, took one look at the blinding light and left rapidly, swearing unrepeatable curses in Chinese about letting women on board ships.
Finally, the light vanished. As their eyes got used to seeing again, Book, Simon and Kaylee saw that all three of the spell’s participants were lying prone, and that the only light now was coming from the Source, resting snugly in its box.
Buffy picked herself up off the floor where the force of the blast had left her. Willow blinked into consciousness, wiping a trickle of blood from her nose as she sat up. All waited for River to rouse.
Zoë, Jayne and Wash entered the room.
“What in the verse is going on?” Zoë demanded.
“Magic,” Book said simply.
“What…” Zoë’s next question was cut off by River sitting up and yawning.
“River, you’re ok!” Simon dashed to where his sister sat and enveloped her in a brotherly hug.
“Yes, Simon, I’m fine,” River replied, smiling. “Why are you all staring?”
“She seems so…normal!” Kaylee remarked. It was true. There was none of the trace of madness which had previously characterised River’s speech and mannerisms.
“The spell must have worked,” Willow said, sleepily. Buffy put a steadying hand on her swaying friend’s shoulder.
“Is she…River, are you still…strong?” Simon wanted to know.
“You sure she’s not still crazy?” Jayne asked. River decided to answer Simon’s question first, by jumping off the bed, walking over to Jayne and lifting him up by the neck.
“Pretty sure,” she answered with a wicked smile, before dropping her hold on the mercenary, leaving him to crumple to the floor.
*
It had been a tiring day. Having made sure Willow got into bed alright, Buffy was on her way back to her own cabin when she noticed she was passing the infirmary. She felt a pang of guilt for not having looked in on Mal before, since it was basically her actions which had gotten him into this state. She sighed as she pushed open the door. You’d have thought the years of being a Slayer would have made the responsibility of getting others hurt, of not saving them, easier to bear, but they didn’t. If anything the feeling only got worse as the numbers piled up.
Buffy took a chair next to where Mal lay. The wounds seemed to be healing, but he wasn’t conscious. Simon had said he had been conscious, earlier, but delirious.
“Well, I thought I’d come and talk to you,” Buffy said, “since you’re the one person on board this ship guaranteed not to say something to make me feel bad. Even if you have the most right.”
She sighed. I seem to be having a lot of one-way conversations today, she reflected ruefully.
“Everything sucks,” she said aloud, it felt good to talk, even if it was to someone who couldn’t reply. Maybe that made it easier. “I don’t even know if I did the right thing in coming here. Yeah, we got the power source, but we don’t even know how to get it back, yet. I’ve caused a lot of trouble for you and your crew. And I’ve only just realised that I’m in love with Spike, just when it’s too late.” She smiled at the irony of admitting her feelings for Spike for the first time to an unconscious virtual stranger. “After all, he and Inara…”
Buffy stopped as for the first time she noticed a shadow of response on the Captain’s face. He murmured something she couldn’t quite catch, then again. She thought she could make out the word.
Inara.
Did Mal have feelings for Inara? Was that something she had missed completely? It wouldn’t surprise her, she was hardly percepto-girl at the best of times.
“Inara…love…dong ma…” After that Mal was silent again, but Buffy couldn’t help wondering. That would mean the situation was even more messed up. Her, Spike, Inara and Mal. What a nightmare.
Buffy left the captain sleeping and returned to her cabin. She undressed for bed, noticing for the first time the quiet around her. What a difference it made not to be surrounded by noisy girls, not to have the First taunting her at every opportunity with its army of vampires…
Just then, Buffy was struck with an idea so brilliant it took her breath away. She slept easily with a smile on her face and one thought in her mind:
We’re going to win.
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