Chapter 8: Run Away
"Hey Buffy!" Willow said, opening the curtains and letting the sunlight stream in.
"Hey Will. What time is it?" Buffy rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"Late. Time for Psych 101 lecture." Oh no, Buffy thought. Psych. Professor Walsh. And Riley. She forced her eyes open. Was Willow wearing the same clothes she'd been wearing last night?
"By the way, Buff, I've sorted the annulment thing. You've got an appointment tonight. I made it as late as possible, you know, ‘cause of the whole sunlight issue." Buffy felt as if she'd been staked through the heart. She'd forgotten the annulment. It meant she would have to see Spike again, and face the whole issue of their sleeping together. Whilst pretending that they never had...
"Uh, Will, there's something I have to tell you. You know this whole non-consummation thing? I think there might be a problem with that..." Willow's eyes flew open wide.
"You mean you and Spike? Oh. Big oh. This is all my fault..."
"No, Will, it really wasn't."
"But I did the spell, and-"
"But the spell was worn off," Buffy said, uncomfortably, not looking at her friend.
"Worn off, but..? When exactly was this consummation, Buffy?"
"Last night." Buffy admitted.
Willow gaped.
"You mean? Wow. This is...Wow."
Willow regarded her embarrassed friend with shock, "Buffy, you do know this is Spike, right?"
"Of course I know who he is, he's all I can think about, dream about. It's like I'm drowning in him..." Buffy looked up nervously at her friend, not sure how this confession would be received. Willow began to pace the room.
"Maybe this is the effects of the spell, maybe..."
"Maybe it isn't a spell, Will. Sometimes we fall for...unexpected people. You should know."
She looked pointedly at Willow, who was suddenly very conscious of the fact that she was wearing last night's clothes still. Buffy hoped that Riley's observation about the two witches was right, and judging by the way Willow was blushing as bright red as her hair, he had been. There was tension in the air now, and awkwardness, neither girl sure how to react to the new developments in each others' love lives.
Then Buffy smiled, "Dirty stop out," she said slyly. Willow looked shocked for a moment then joined in her friend's laughter. Smiling at each other, they both knew that even if they didn't understand each other's choices, they would still be best friends.
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Buffy arrived at the address Willow had given her. It was still quite light. Maybe Spike wouldn't show.
"Hello, Slayer." She turned. He was there. She hated the way his mere presence made her heart leap.
"Spike." She moved to stand by him as they waited for their appointment.
"Just remind me what we're doing here, again, Slayer?" He asked. It took all of his self-control to keep his voice calm when all he wanted was to grab her and kiss the living daylights out of her. Her very nearness, the smell of her skin, the sound of her heartbeat - it was all too distracting.
"We're getting an annulment, Spike. Please don't make this difficult."
"An annulment. Uh-huh. On the grounds of..."
"Non-consummation," she said, not looking at him.
"I see. So what happened last night wasn't what you would call consummation then?" No, it's what I would call fantastic sex, Buffy thought. Damn, this wasn't going to be easy.
"What do you suggest, Spike? You want us to stay married?" She didn't know what made her say it. Her face was flushed wildly as she turned to face him. The naked longing in his face took her breath away.
"What if I say yes?" he asked softly, his hand somehow finding hers and taking hold of it.
Without thinking, Buffy intertwined her fingers with his. They stood like that for several minutes, staring into each other's eyes. Buffy's heart did somersaults in her chest. She wanted him badly, but to agree to be married to him? It was madness. But not half as mad as the fact that looking into his eyes, she couldn't think of a single reason not to say yes.
"Ms Summers?" A tall well-dressed woman in her fifties stood behind her. "Are you ready?" Buffy opened her mouth, and quickly closed it again, realising she didn't know what she was going to say, or what she wanted to do. The smart woman looked at her expectantly, Spike looked at her searchingly.
"I..." Buffy began, "Excuse me, I can't..."
And she ran. Out of the building, along the street, as far away as possible. Great, Buffy, she said to herself when she finally stopped to breathe. Run away, that'll solve everything. Back to square one, she thought ruefully.
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Spike knocked on Buffy's door.
"Come in," called a voice from inside. Red.
"Haven't you learned yet not to do that, Red?" Spike said, grinning.
"Oh. It's you." Willow said, not sure how to react to Spike now that she knew he and Buffy were...what, exactly? Buffy hadn't gone into the specifics of their relationship. All Willow really knew was that they had slept together, she believed only once, and that Buffy was clearly crazy about him.
"Is...uh...is Buffy around?" he asked, a little too casually, "Slayer business, you know," he added. Willow raised an eyebrow.
"You're not fooling me, Spike, I know about the two of you. How did it go? All nice and annulled?"
"Not exactly," said Spike, and told Willow about Buffy's disappearing act.
"Interesting," Willow said, "I don't know where she is, although I think she might have had a date with Riley." Spike looked visibly stung by the mention of his name. "Look, Spike," Willow began, "She hasn't told me a lot, but it's clear that she's crazy about you."
"Really?" Spike asked, eyes lighting up with hope.
"But she's...fragile," Willow continued, "Confused. She doesn't have a stellar history with guys - especially the pointy-toothed kind - and...Well, basically, if you hurt her - well, you know what I'm capable of with magic and stuff," Willow finished lamely. Spike chuckled.
"I see. I'll consider myself warned. But I don't plan on hurting her...if I can help it. Things just seem to get a little out of hand when we actually talk. We fight and it's difficult to tell her how I really feel." Spike looked embarrassed at this explanation, explaining to Red of all people.
"How do you really feel?" Willow asked.
"I love her," Spike said simply, "More than anything in the world." Willow was touched despite herself. It was strange, Spike who only a couple of weeks before had been their deadly enemy now head over heels in love with Buffy.
"If that's true you need to find her and tell her," Willow said, "She might be a little freaked out, but it's better to have these feelings out in the open than to carry on confusing each other."
"Fine. Where do you think she would be?"
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He had tried Giles's house, the campus bars and the Bronze before the obvious occurred to him and he decided to check out the cemeteries. There she was, his Slayer, looking radiant - effulgent - as she battled demons with effortless grace.
"Bloody hell you're beautiful when you're violent," Spike said, as the demon she was fighting exploded in a shower of dust.
"Spike! What are you...? Just go away."
"No."
"No? You want me to have Mr. Pointy make you go away?" she said threateningly.
"Don't give me that, pet. You couldn't do it. Just like you couldn't go through with the annulment this evening." The confidence in his voice bothered her. How could he be so sure what she felt, what she would or wouldn't do when she herself didn't know?
"I don't know why I didn't." she said.
"I do," Spike said, stepping closer to her, moving his mouth against her ear, "You couldn't do it, because you love me." Buffy pushed him away from her roughly.
"No, Spike, I don't," she lied, "What happened last night was...a mistake." Spike grabbed her by the shoulders, looking intently into her eyes.
"Stop it, Buffy! Stop lying to me, stop lying to yourself. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me!" Buffy felt herself trembling. She wanted more than anything to give into this feeling, to collapse into his arms and surrender to his kiss. She tilted her mouth upwards and Spike moved his down until his lips brushed hers.
"Admit it, Buffy, say that you love me the way I love you."
Spike looked as shocked as she did at his words. He hadn't meant to say that, despite the witch's advice about being honest.
Buffy pulled away, freaked. Spike loved her? That was so wrong...and so heart-stoppingly wonderful. She looked down at the ground, knowing that if she looked at Spike she wouldn't be able to think straight. He had that effect. Her head was telling her that this was insanity, she couldn't go falling for vampires. her body was telling her she wanted to rip all his clothes off and run her tongue over his naked skin. And her heart...her heart felt as though it had stopped beating the moment he had said he loved her. But what did that mean? She couldn't love him, she couldn't.
"No!" she shouted, "This is wrong, Spike, I can't love you, you're evil and soulless and mean. I can't ever love you!" It hurt to say those words when she had to fight all of her desires to say them. She couldn't believe the pain she felt when she saw Spike's tortured expression. Tears stung his eyes as he pushed blindly past her without another word, storming off without a backward glance. Buffy stared after him, torn, but rooted to the spot.
Spike walked in strides, his dark mood making him oblivious to anything around him. All he could see was her. So he didn't notice the four Initiative operatives who stunned him with tasers before bundling him into a sack and carrying him off.
But Buffy did see. As she watched him walk away she felt sick with love, but not daring to admit to herself what she really felt. Then she saw him stunned and captured, and although she ran at top speed towards the scene, she was not fast enough to prevent it. She sank to her knees in the spot where he had been taken, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I do love you Spike," she sobbed, "I do..."
From his hiding spot behind the trees, Riley couldn't hear her whispered words, but watched the scene of Spike's capture with satisfaction. Not only was Spike a known hostile, in need of being contained, he was also quite clearly the reason Buffy had been so distracted of late. With Spike gone, perhaps things could get back to normal.
*
Chapter 9: Burn Burn
Rupert Giles was just turning to go up the stairs to bed when he heard the pounding on his front door.
"Giles! Open up! It's me!" Fortunately, it was a voice he recognised. He also recognised that the Slayer was not in the best of moods. Giles leapt to his feet and hurried to let her in.
"Buffy?" he said, confused, as he opened the door to admit a wild-eyed Slayer with a grim expression on her face.
"Weapons, Giles, need weapons." she said as she marched past him and headed for his weapons-chest.
"Buffy, what is it? What's happened?" Giles asked, face creasing into a worried frown.
"They've taken him," she said, "I have to go and get him back. He doesn't know..."
"Buffy, slow down," Giles said, doing his best to keep calm, "Who's taken who?"
"The Initiative." she said, swearing under her breath, "Giles have you got any grenades?"
"The Initiative? Then you certainly aren’t going in alone. And no, I haven't got any grenades.” He paused, realising she still hadn’t filled him in on the whole situation. “Who exactly have the Initiative taken again?"
"Spike! They've taken Spike."
Buffy began emptying the weapons chest onto the floor.
"Buffy," Giles began. She wasn't listening. He grabbed her by the shoulders, whirling her around to face him. "Buffy!" he practically shouted.
"Giles I have to get Spike!"
"I understand that - well, actually I'm not sure I do - but the point is you can't just go charging into the Initiative base, you'll be killed and so will Spike."
Buffy stopped as she realised the truth of his words.
"Ok, then we need a plan. Come on, Giles, you come up with the plans, I kill things, that's how it works."
"Let me call the others," Giles said with a sigh.
*
Buffy paced the room like a caged tiger, itching to go out and fight, kill something. Willow had come up with the plausible explanation that they had to get Spike back because he knew too much about Slayer business to be allowed to fall into Initiative hands. She was quite pleased with herself. Buffy said nothing. Watching her, Willow was worried. Buffy in love would be more dangerous than anything they or the Initiative had dealt with before. Willow didn't know whether Buffy would remember her ‘no killing humans’ rule in her desperation to get Spike back. The Slayer's love and concern for Spike were written all over her face. Willow wondered how the others didn't see it. She suspected that Anya did see it; she had enough experience with wronged women to recognise love and the desire for revenge. The men, Willow realised, wouldn't want to see it, would be happy to lap up any other excuse that prevented them from seeing and having to deal with the truth.
“There’s no use just charging in there,” Giles was saying. “It would be far better if you called Riley.”
“No time,” Buffy said.
“Well, what about some kind of disguise,” Xander suggested, “Although did I ask yet, why are we helping Spike?”
“Several times, sweetie,” Anya said, “Let it go.”
“Disguise is good,” Buffy said. “Be back here in fifteen minutes.”
It was not the most sophisticated plan in the world, but fifteen minutes later, disguised and loaded up with weapons, the Scoobies set off. Only to find Riley on the porch, hand raised to knock on the door as the door opened.
"Buffy!" he said, smiling. His smile faded as he saw the look on her face.
"Your pals at the Initiative have taken Spike and we're going to get him back," Buffy said briskly, "You in or out?"
"Buffy, think about this," Riley said gently, "Spike is a hostile. Maybe he's better off..." he broke off as he saw the murderous expression on Buffy's face.
"It was you!" she exclaimed incredulously, "You bastard! You ordered him captured!" Riley couldn't come up with a denial fast enough.
"Buffy, I was thinking of you. It's for the best. He's evil, he's-" There was a loud smack as Buffy's fist connected with Riley's jaw.
"Come on," she said to the astonished Scoobies as she stepped over the unconscious form of her now definitely *ex* boyfriend.
*
The first blow took Spike by surprise. Shirtless and chained by the wrists and ankles, he couldn't fight back as the slim black man he had seen Riley with at the Bronze on several occasions struck him hard in the stomach with the butt of his stun gun. The other sixteen blows of equal strength were not as unexpected but equally as painful. Spike growled.
"Present from Agent Finn," Forest said with a shrug. Spike spat, cursing Riley, the Initiative, Buffy...everything that had gotten him into this mess.
"What are you keeping me here for, anyway?" Spike asked, "I've already got a sodding chip in my head. I can't hurt anyone."
"You can still piss people off, though," said Forrest, "You've obviously pissed Finn off enough for him to recommend you to help with a very special piece of research."
"What research?" Spike asked, through narrowed eyes and clenched teeth.
"To see how much sunlight vampires can withstand before they catch fire. It really is a fascinating subject." he said, laughing.
Spike looked up to see a hole in the wall of his cell designed to let sunlight in slowly but surely when the sun rose. He swallowed. This was going to hurt.
"This is what you get for screwing around with Finn's girl," the soldier said, "Hope she was worth it." Spike looked the man in the eyes.
"Every bloody second." he said, "I'd die a hundred fiery deaths for just another second with her." he added, knowing as he said it that it wasn't just bravado, it was the truth. He had been blaming Buffy for the situation, but he couldn't be angry with her. Not when he loved her so much. Not when he was going to die.
If he couldn't be with her, he wanted to spend his last moments of unlife loving her.
*
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