Taste of Juliet
by Megan
Chapter Six
Buffy quickly came to realise that Giles was talking to Cordelia on the phone, but for the life of her she couldn't work out why. That is until Angel came prancing back through the door with a paper bag containing a number of bladders of blood. After that kiss she was finding that she needed to slightly reconstruct her memory. From scratch. She'd totally forgotten that Angel was here.
With a wary eye she located Spike back on the couch, his arm slung wearily over his face and looked like he would have no more energy for anything more tonight. It was time to give him some nourishment. Hmmmmn, Buffy nourishment. Her eyes crossed at the yummy thoughts that wordage provoked, but she quickly snatched the bag from Angel and went back to the kitchen to heat Spike some blood.
"Thanks," she tossed over her shoulder at the hulking and sulking vamp, before she disappeared briefly round the corner. She popped her head back through the window opening though to let him know that Giles was talking to Cordy, and would he know what it was about?
"Oh yeah," he stumbled awkwardly. "Might." And he followed her round the corner.
Giles seemed startled to have so many in his kitchen then realised his lack of space as Buffy nearly barrelled them both out of the way on her way back out with the warmed mug of blood.
"Yes, thank you so much Cordelia, that will be extremely helpful. I'll put you on to Angel now, shall I?" Without any further hesitation he passed the buck to Angel and made his own escape, feeling he deserved to observe his new house guest at least a little.
Spike had come to at the tantalising scent of blood, human blood. He raised his body to take the mug from Buffy, and hesitated slightly before taking a sip. He cringed a little at the taste.
"Did I make it too hot?" He still couldn't get over the concern in her voice.
"No luv. Jus' it's human. Doesn' feel right all of a sudden." His face crinkled at that observation. He was beyond hunger though so he concentrated on the liquid that flowed smoothly down his throat. When he had finished he raised his eyes to see both Buffy and her Watcher sitting in chairs angled toward him with shared pensive expressions on their faces. And to add to his surreal moment, along came Angelus with another chair and then he was hemmed in.
"Right then," he felt he needed to start things off as two of the three were looking at him like he was bound to be yesterday's dust. His gaze settled on Buffy and he couldn't help but smile at her besotted expression. He had obviously really dusted and gone to some weird non-hell because this could not be real.
Giles nodded his head, took out his handkerchief and began to rub at his glass lenses as he tried to think of what to say.
"I've just had a call from Cordelia…"
"The cheerleader," Spike butted in. Giles glared at him before continuing.
"Buffy," he turned to address her. "That is why Angel is here. Apparently Cordelia gets visions, like messages I suppose, from the Powers That Be…"
"You mean the ones that brought Angel back from Hell?" She interrupted then, and Giles gritted his teeth, knowing he was in for a longer night than he desired.
"Yes, that would be them."
"Right, so the cheerleader had a vision and now Peaches is on your doorstep. What does that have to do with me?"
"Well if you would all bloody shut up for one minute and let me tell the tale you'd find out now, wouldn't you?" he exploded and jumped to his feet. Angel smirked as he saw Giles do the pace race he had witnessed earlier in the night, glad that this time he wasn't the cause.
Everyone was silent, waiting for him to continue, but he seemed to be waiting for another interruption. At their continued silence he decided to resume. Just as his mouth widened there was a frantic knocking on his door. Almost exasperated beyond endurance he stomped to the door and flung it wide, just getting out of the way before the Scooby gang, including Tara and Anya, almost fell through the door in desperation, sounding like a gaggle of geese hyped up on demon speed.
"Giles, Giles, strange things have been happening, we need research…" They were all yelling at once then came to a screaming halt at the sight of Angel and Buffy sitting sort of together and facing someone on the sofa.
"What's brood boy doing here?" Xander asked, pointing to the vamp in question.
"Oh…th-this i-is Angel?" Tara asked Willow. Willow nodded yes, her eyes wide with surprise.
They all continued around to the other side of the sofa until they could take in the fourth person in Giles' home. Simultaneously they saw Spike. Willow and Xander both let out horrified screams and rushed behind Buffy and Angel. Tara and Anya continued to stand there with raised brows, not having a clue what happened.
Xander pointed at Spike and breathed so hard in fear that he was close to hyperventilating.
"Buffster, all with the believing in your fighting skills and all, but why isn't he tied up, or chained up, or hey, here's one for ya, dusted?" His voice had reached an uncomfortable shrill tone and both Angel and Spike cringed. Swivelling his head back and forth from Spike to Angel, Xander made a comical leap behind Buffy, making sure she was his protector. Pointing a shaking finger at Angel, he asked in an unmanly faltering voice, "Is he still Angel?"
Spike burst out laughing.
"You're a right ninny, yeh know that? Do you think the Slayer would be sitting all calm like next to the heaving poof if he was Angelus? Better yet, do yeh think I would be anywhere near him if he was?" By the last Spike's voice had a hardened edge that made Angel look away with regret.
"I never hated you, Spike. You are my childe, and I'm sorry that Angelus is cruel."
"Stop talking 'bout him like he's different to you. He isn' someone else. He's you, down to every ugly little moment. I need a smoke." He rose on still unsteady feet and made to search his duster pockets.
"You can't smoke in here." Giles stepped forward.
"Look Watcher, I'm bloody stressed to my bleedin' eyeballs, and if I don't have a ciggie soon I could snap under the strain." His glare was mean, but a little twinge in his gut tried to tell him it was wrong to take his frustrations out on those trying to help him and he lowered his head in shame. "'m sorry," he mumbled and plonked back onto the sofa, his head in his hands.
Having no understanding of her sudden compulsion, Buffy bailed on Xander and went to sit next to Spike and take his trembling hand in hers. Xander squeaked.
"Oh wow…" Tara breathed, staring in awe at the blonde couple.
"Buffy?" Xander and Willow questioned, their own reason for racing to Giles completely gone from their minds.
Giles for his part was fixated on Tara, realising he had never met her before, but wondering at what she was seeing that made her so astonished.
"Er, Willow, who is your friend?"
"Oh," she blushed as all eyes turned to her. "This is Tara. She's a really awesome witch." Willow enthused.
"Will," Tara seemed unaware that she was the subject of curiosity by almost all in the room. "Can you see it?" Willow looked at the pair on the sofa, looking heatedly into each other's eyes. She couldn't see what Tara might, but she could feel the tension in the room like a really heavy fog, and her eyes goggled.
"Oh my God, is it a spell?" Her eyes widened in alarm.
"I'm afraid not…" Giles grumbled, giving his lenses one last little swipe before replacing the glasses on the bridge of his nose, and tucking a hand in his pants pocket.
Reaching for Willow's hand Tara used her other to motion the space around the two. "It's beautiful Will, I've never seen anything like it."
Now all eyes were confused and Willow felt the need to explain, blushing again as she realised Tara was still holding her hand. She let go with a nervous, Willow giggle, and began
"Like I said, Tara is a witch. She can see auras."
Giles looked at the girl thoughtfully and wondered what this girl might add to Cordelia's news.
"Right then, I suggest we all take a seat so we can have a chat and see if we can't sort all of this out."
"Merciful Zeus, do we just let them stay like that?" He pointed, his alarm not even receding a smidgeon.
"Buffy, do you really need to hold his hand." Angel was obviously furious, but their eyes never left the others as they mutually ignored him. "Giles," he whined, back to that childlike feeling of hours before, and feeling really grumpy because of it.
He had a really uncomfortable feeling about this.
Chapter Seven
It had taken awhile but Giles finally had everyone seated on either a chair or the floor around the blonde couple, who intermittently smiled shyly at the other while continuing to clasp their hands together. A small patch of skin, the ultra soft padding beside her thumb, was becoming so sensitised by Spike’s own stroking thumb that she thought very soon she would moan. It made her want more, and she relived that kiss from earlier with a gentle sigh of yearning. Her skin almost rose to meet his caress and she wondered how she ever lived without that kind of feeling.
Buffy couldn’t think. On one hand she was aware that everyone was staring at her and that her friends wore horrified expressions of fear of the unknown, while Tara and Anya shook up the mix with their own smiles of understanding and lack of interest. Anya, of course, contributed the latter. On the other hand, despite all this confusion, Buffy didn’t feel that what she was doing was wrong. She felt the most overwhelming sensation in the pit of her stomach that she was acknowledging something that had been under wraps for far too long. That she would be committing a grave error and insult to the vamp beside her if she did not offer him public comfort and support. It was bewildering though, as she had never before entertained any romantic or friendly feelings towards Spike, other than that strange claim to family. Oh, and the fact that she had always thought he was the sexiest man she had ever seen.
Giles cleared his throat in aggravated purpose and everyone looked toward him to begin.
“Right, then. I guess I will take up from where I was interrupted. We have had a call from Cordelia. Xander, do not open your mouth.” Xander closed his mouth. “Cordelia, it appears, receives visions from the Powers That Be, and she told Angel to come here, as Buffy would need some help with Spike. Instead of finding out all of what she had to say, Angel came tearing in here, and waited for Buffy to haul Spike over the threshold. Now, before any of you ask, Angel detected that Spike has a soul…”
“Oh boy…” Xander began but Giles rushed on.
“And that is why he is not tied up. Also, quite incredibly, Buffy seems to be sharing some kind of bond with him.” Buffy blushed under the scrutiny of the room and Spike squeezed her hand once before letting her go. Immediately she felt cold and alone. The difference was suddenly frightening and Spike’s nose twitched in confusion at her sudden scent of fear.
“Now, I have a little information from Cordelia, but I am very interested at the timing of when all of you decided to be in dire need of research. Has something happened? Maybe it is related in some way?”
The four newest arrivals looked at each other, with Tara ducking shyly behind her hair.
“Something really weird happened, Giles. Not frightening weird, ooh, but sorta, I mean a little scary, right?” Willow asked Tara who very avidly nodded her head.
“I’ll definitely go for weird, in a ‘don’t ever want that freaky Friday happenin’ in my parental basement abode ever again’, kind of weird.” Anya smiled flirtatiously at Xander, winking and looking him up and down. He flushed and quickly looked down.
“And what pray tell, was so weird to have you all rushing over to my home at this time of night?”
“Well, um, Tara and I were doing a spell. Sort of an astral projection thingy, well, as I got to the end, my hair went white.”
“L-l-like a G-Goddess,” Tara contributed.
Giles raised his brows in thought.
“Hmmm, that is very interesting. And nothing happened to Tara?”
“Nope, nada.” Willow smiled at her friend but no one noticed as they all looked to Giles for his interpretation. Without offering any ideas, he passed on to Xander.
“What happened to you, Xander?”
“Oh, well, it was sort of more Ahn than me,” Xander started but was interrupted by Anya.
“We were having sex,” she told them all confidently.
“Good for you, luv, though you’re pretty enough to not scrape the bottom of the barrel.” Spike leered at her, receiving a sexy, suggestive smile from Anya and a death glare from Xander. Too late he remembered Buffy and how she may have interpreted that comment. His nervous glance at her found her looking away from him in obvious hurt, and he went back to feeling guilty and bad all over again. It may never have occurred to him to carry a torch for the Slayer before, but after that earlier kiss he was kicking himself for risking further physical, soft episodes.
Xander decided to ignore the bleached vampire. “She had this big cut appear from her neck on this side,” and he indicated the left side of his own neck, “to her waist on the other side,” and he made a diagonal slash across his front. “The wound started bleeding, then she fainted. I freaked because I thought she was dead.” Xander was obviously still affected by the event as he offered no jokes or levity in his inflection, but added as an afterthought, “Oh, and my eye started to sting really bad and I couldn’t see from it at all until Anya became conscious again.”
“How incredibly fascinating. Oh, and yes I’m sure that it was rather frightening for you, Xander. How remarkable that all that happened around the same time. I am thinking Spike received his soul and Buffy seems to have become, well, smitten…” His eyes widened as he realised that he had earlier walked in on his Slayer kissing another vampire, another with a soul. He had ignored the moment then, a feeling of ‘let it be’ overtaking his better judgement, but now he felt the full effect of his alarm. He decided to continue ignoring it for now but resolved to speak to Buffy about it later.
“So nothing happened with Tara, and nothing happened with me…”
“Um, Giles,” Angel interjected, thinking over the past few hours. “I think it might be possible that something might have happened to you earlier.”
Giles took in Angel’s hesitation and wondered why he seemed so nervous. Then he remembered his earlier almost overwhelming anger and hatred for the vampire, and couldn’t for the life of him work out why he had felt so violently toward him. When Angel had left Sunnydale the previous year, they had been almost back to tentative if not friendly terms, and the fact that he was leaving Buffy, although upsetting for her, was the greatest act he considered the vampire had ever done.
“Oh,” he answered in understanding. “I guess I suddenly felt a very intense hatred for all things vampire with a soul. S-S-Sorry about that, Angel.” Angel sighed in relief, ending his sojourn into memory, trying to work out what he had done to set the Watcher off. Nothing at all apparently.
“So Giles, what’s the what?” Buffy had been silent up to now, hoping that everyone would forget that ‘smitten’ remark, and still hurt that Spike had flirted with Anya while right next to her. Her confidence had taken a jab and she wondered if he actually liked her at all, despite this compunction they had to touch each other.
“Cordelia said that Spike had acted like a Champion and the Powers that Be were allowing him his heart’s desire as a reward. She also said that this was from the future Spike, not a different dimension. Judging by what Anya and Xander experienced, I’m tempted to think they suffered war wounds.”
“Buffy told me she saw me turn to dust,” Spike offered and Giles looked to the pair swiftly in surprise.
“Did she? I suppose that was when you first held his hand, Buffy, and they burst into flame?”
Buffy nodded, but said nothing further.
“And what exactly is my heart’s desire?” Spike quirked a brow and tilted his head to the side, giving Buffy a look which made her shiver. She refused to look back at him and Spike understood that he had really hurt her by appearing interested in the other woman. He remembered returning to Sunnydale, after finding that she hadn’t passed the Gem of Amara on to Angel during his lengthy torture session, to rip out her heart and send it in a box to his Sire. Not only did he feel queasy now at that thought, but he suddenly felt the need to apologise to Peaches, particularly after that speech earlier about never having hated him.
“Sorry about the torture las’ week, mate. You know I didn’ mean it right?” Spike aimed a hopeful smile at Angel and received a delighted laugh.
“Spike, I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t forgive you for that. Angelus taught you well.”
All eyes suddenly narrowed at both vampires and they shared an awkward and guilty moment as they squirmed in their seats. Right then, don’t mention the poof’s alter ego, or torture methods. Check!
“She didn’t know that part.” Giles pulled the rooms attention back to the previous question. “The actual reward, but I think it must have something to do with Buffy.” Giles turned to Tara. “Do you have any idea what might have happened, Tara?”
Tara blushed at being asked something so consequential in front of the whole gang, but nervous though she might be, she was confident in her abilities and interpretation.
“I saw the joining of their souls. They belong together.”
“That’s impossible.”
“No way.”
Xander and Angel both stood abruptly and shouted at the witch. She shrank back, afraid that she had said something terrible.
Giles stared at the two, resigned to his belief that Tara was indeed right in what she saw. He knew something had changed. He just didn’t know what.
“Buffy, do you have anything to add?”
Buffy felt angry at Spike, but even more importantly, she felt angry with herself. She didn’t understand what had come over her since coming across Spike’s collapsed form under the tree, but it would obviously be a mistake on her part if she let it take over her now without further attempts to understand what had brought the soul to Spike. She felt slowness was not only needed, but imperative if she was to keep her heart whole, and she could not forget, no matter how hard she tried, that he didn’t believe her love at the end anyway. It felt like a rejection, and that, teamed with his come hither smirk at Anya, had hurt her and put her on the defensive.
“I saw some kind of battle, sorry Wills, you guys were nowhere in sight. Oh, but I think I did see Faith,” she remembered with a gasp. Buffy started to feel a desperation to get her account over and done with so she could get out of there. “Anyway, Spike suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree, told me that he could feel his soul, and then turned to dust from the sunlight as the building around us collapsed. Oh!” She jumped in her seat excitedly. “It looked like the Hellmouth, and there were these really, really ugly vamps turning to dust all around us. Also, there were a couple of dead girls lying on the ground- they had weapons- and Giles,” she looked to him questioningly. “They looked like Slayers.” She was done. Buffy refused to say any more. The love stuff was personal, and she wasn’t going to put herself on the line or in the line of fire for anyone, man or vampire. If there was anything there between them then she would work it out with Spike, if she ever decided he deserved to speak to her again. That kiss was obviously just a fluke. Besides, he wasn’t ever getting that close again. Just like that she could feel the walls around her heart rebuild, and she was glad for it. She had been in danger of falling for her enemy, and it was about time she remembered who she was.
She was, after all, the Vampire Slayer.
Xander and Angel had not resumed their seats during her explanation and despite the friendly remarks the two vampires had exchanged earlier, Angel was obviously not willing to allow anyone in the room, particularly the bleached vampire, to believe his soul was anyone’s but his own. Oh no, no soul attaching to Buffy. If anyone’s soul belonged to Buffy, it would be his.
“In my vision, it was pretty obvious that Spike was my champion. If Spike hadn’t sacrificed himself then I believe we would have lost the war. He saved us.” Her voice held no enthusiasm, no praise, and she continued her refusal to look at Spike.
“Oh, and Spike said that those commando guys I’ve seen around kidnapped him and did something to his head. I vote we check into it tomorrow. I’m going home.”
Without looking at the dumbfounded expressions on everyone’s faces she got to her feet and headed to the door. “Willow, come with? And Tara? Are you on campus to?”
At the pretty blonde’s nervous and confused nod Willow rose to her feet. “Sure Buff, we’re right behind you. Bye.” Willow gave a little finger wiggle wave and the two girls were out the door after Buffy.
“Well, that was confusing,” Anya stated. “Though I think she has the right idea. Come on Xander, I think we should also go back to bed!” Xander jumped up with a funny cough and raced to the door with Anya’s hand in his, and like the girls before him, they were gone.
“Right. Don’ suppose I could get some more blood, Watcher. Right knackered, I am.” Spike had watched sadly as Buffy left, knowing that he would have some ground to make up, even though for the life of him he couldn’t work out why he felt it was so important to prove to Buffy that he wasn’t interested in Anya.
“Y-yes. I’ll just go get that for you, shall I?”
Two vampires were left alone in the room.
“Don’t even think about it Spike. She deserves something better than the both of us.”
Chapter Eight
Angel and Spike hadn’t moved or spoken since Giles went to retrieve a mug of blood. The elder had retreated into introspection. He felt torn between his pleasure at seeing Buffy again, obviously well even without his protection, but also annoyance at those very same things. He didn’t want to examine too closely the reasons behind his disappointment that Buffy could handle her own without him.
It wasn’t until Giles returned and handed the mug of blood to Spike that Angel realised that his Childe’s body was trembling. It had been a big night so far, and though he was putting on a brave face, Angel well remembered the effect of receiving a soul out of the blue. Even though it was still not clear how Spike’s soul came into being, it would take some getting used to. However much a hero Spike might be in the future, it did not help him acclimatise to his new circumstances in the present. Angel noticed his eyes glass over and realised that now they were virtually alone, Spike appeared to be going into shock. For only a moment did Angel ponder why he found it so easy to believe why Spike would have been a hero. He still remembered his heroic deeds with Drusilla for many mortal lifetimes, and how could he ever forget the betrayal of his own Childe as he himself tried to pull the world into a permanent pit of darkness. He knew Spike was capable of great feats. That he could be brave and courageous, as well as rash and foolhardy. He just felt sick and resentful that Buffy seemed to be the impetus of the transformation and the realisation of Spike’s potential.
Well, he was no longer the only souled vamp in town, and as he was responsible for creating this vamp in particular, he was responsible for his acclimatisation as well. It hadn’t escaped his notice that the Powers That Be wanted him in on the whole scene. Was it a punishment, or simply another opportunity for achieving good? It never occurred to Angel to consider that his search for good acts to achieve his redemption was selfishly driven, and repentance was never acknowledged for those motives. His need to do good continually battled with his desire for reward, and it hadn’t yet occurred to him that Spike had obviously been heroic for a far shorter a time frame, yet the Powers returned him to something potentially very special.
In the end, Angel’s concern was late at being expressed.
Giles placed a hand on Spikes shoulder to draw his attention from the cooling blood.
“Spike, perhaps you need to talk a little to make the situation become real for you. You’re probably feeling like you are trapped in a television soap with all the surreal that has gone on tonight, but I can assure you that you are in my home, apparently with a soul, and according to Buffy, some other problem with the commandos that we will investigate tomorrow. I realise that it was only last week that you were trying to kill Buffy, but I trust in Tara and her abilities.” Giles shot a quick look at Angel then chose his next words carefully. “I observed you earlier, with Buffy. I saw a red mist surround you both, like some form of connection, or rather, a joining .” Spike stared at him intently, grateful that the Watcher did not mention the kissing form that the ’together’ had taken, as he really was not up to a thrash it out till the end, loser takes all moment with his Sire.
“You never mentioned this before, Watcher. I think the Slayer might have wanted to know that.”
“In all the excitement it slipped my mind. I was not sure that she was ready to take that on as well as what Tara said. Nevertheless, I think it is highly possible that in the future something has occurred for you to be one with us in our cause. I won’t say for certain about what your relationship with Buffy consists of, but I think it might be important from what I have seen today. I will let you sort that out on your own and with her. As much as I disapprove of any dealings with you- and that the thought of Buffy embroiled in another relationship with a vampire makes me shudder- I am willing to put aside my previous beliefs and feelings to get to the bottom of this and help you adjust. I can only believe that the Powers have sent you here for a reason, perhaps to prevent what happens to you in the future from happening again. But there is some purpose, of that you can be certain. We can try to find out more tomorrow. Like, how you got your soul, and if it is safe.”
“I tried to eat some students tonight.” Spike’s voice was a tortured whisper as Giles and Angel were struck dumb and still. He didn’t dare raise his eyes as the gentle care that the Watcher had shown him in his little speech affected him deeply, but as yet he had not the tools to deal with the situation.
“It was before the soul thing hit me, I guess. I went looking for the Slayer in her dorm, but no one was in. I guess Red was with the other Wicca. I found another girl and went to bite her when I had a shock in my skull, and I couldn’ do it. As soon as I thought or tried to bite anyone, I felt the pain return. I’ve been wanderin' around all night tryin' to work it out, and then tryin' to hide from the soldiers. They’re trying to recapture me, I wager. Anyway, I felt this searing pain on the inside and a flash of light and I collapsed. I guess that’s where the Slayer found me. So, looks like I’m toothless. And the thought that I tried to eat people tonight makes me feel sick.”
Giles was stunned at this declaration, not really expecting to get so up and personal with a vampire’s eating habits, but even more so at the sight of this once proud Master vampire broken and crying on his sofa. He looked to Angel and found he didn’t understand the meaning behind the gleam in his eye, but was all right with it as it didn’t appear alarming, but almost soft.
“How long ago did they capture you?” Angel leaned in toward him.
“A few days I guess,” He answered, sniffling self-consciously and rubbing absently at his watery eyes.
“Is that how long since you’ve fed?”
“Roughly. Couldn’ take their blood. It was drugged so they could do experiments on me. Another vamp in the cell nex’ to me said that he’d been fighten’ with the Slayer and nex’ thing he was in the cell. So I figured it was her fault I got caught, I was watching her fight at the time, and I escaped to get revenge. Bollixed that up right proper.” He barked an unamused, slightly tortured laugh before burying his head in his hands. And his body was back to shaking.
“I’m covered in blood. It won’ ever come off. Bloody Hell. Why didn’ you do us in Peaches, when you got your soul? You should’na let us go on killin’.” At his muffled, hurt words, Spike sobbed quietly.
Giles looked to Angel, transfixed by the recording opportunities of this story, not really ever having taken the chance to discuss the past with Angel, or even the repercussions of his returned soul. He was shocked to see tears in the elder vamps eyes. Angel reached forward and took Spike’s hand and squeezed it hard.
“I could never have done that, William. I loved you all. My Sire, though she was cruel. My crazy Dru, my very own shameful responsibility. And no less than them, William, I loved you. We were family. I may have killed my mortal family when I had no soul, but I could never have killed my immortal family with one. And now I am so very glad that I left you to survive, because look where you are now. You have been shined on by the greatest light of all, Buffy, and have achieved great things, or the Powers would never have given you a reward. You have achieved in the future, William, and you have a great opportunity right now to make this soul retrieve all the good that you were. Spike, you may have murdered in the past, indeed I trained you to be one of the best, but you always had a good heart for those you loved. I have no doubt that whenever you got your soul it was because of that devotion in you. Finally, you are free.” Spike raised disbelieving eyes to his Sire, desperate hope churning in his gut, Buffy thoughts and dreams racing through his mind. Angel seemed so earnest.
Angel put more pressure on his hand and smiled reassuringly and Spike decided to believe.
And he found his selflessness in repentance.
Chapter Nine
Buffy couldn’t decide if she should talk to Willow about what she saw, or just let it go. As the three girls walked briskly toward their dorm, Buffy zoned out of the conversation between the Wiccas and tried to fathom why she felt so lacerated by Spike’s flirty behaviour towards Anya. She hadn’t really had that much time to get to know the girl yet, but as far as an ex-vengeance demon went she seemed nice enough. What she still couldn’t get was her reactions—physical and emotional—to Spike. One thing was certain enough; whatever happened in her future, he was important to her. In a big way.
“Wills,” Buffy called to the redhead who walked with an animated purpose while chatting to her fellow witch. “Is it possible to do some kind of spell, like a tag on thingy or something, to Spike’s soul, so that maybe I could see the circumstances for it returning to him in a different time period?”
“You mean you want to see into the future and find out why you’re all with the touchy feelies with the vampiness?” Willow questioned nervously.
Buffy stopped walking and turned to contemplate her friend.
“I can’t explain it, Wills. Something happened to me tonight when I found him. Something way, way wiggy, but I need to work it out before I feel like I can talk about it. It would just help to know why the future me came to depend so much on him. I need to understand why I feel so drawn to him all of a sudden.”
Willow looked at Tara in anguish, knowing that she could help but also knowing that Willow herself, and possibly Buffy, wasn’t going to like what the other girl had to say. Then again, Buffy had been holding Spike’s hand earlier, and didn’t seem to wig over that. With a hesitant nod, Willow encouraged Tara to step forward with her theories.
“U-um B-Buffy?” Tara’s courage seemed short-lived so Buffy gave her a warm encouraging smile.
“Tara, it’s ok. I know you think that Spike and I belong together, and boy is that a concept that is so beyond believable, but I think I did see enough in my vision to sort of believe you.” Both girls gaped.
“What did you see to make you believe that?” Willow couldn’t hold back her surprise. “I mean, I know he is hot and all, but Buffy, he’s a vampire.”
“What?” Tara gasped, shocked.
Buffy looked at her for a minute before replying.
“Willow didn’t fill you in yet on the night life in Sunnydale, huh?”
Tara turned to the girl beside her, eyes wide in comprehension, and shook her head almost accusingly. “Willow?”
Willow giggled self-consciously. “Surprise?”
Buffy snorted and clapped her hand over her mouth.
“Sorry Tara. There are lots of creatures around here that go bump in the night, and ones you don’t want to do the bumping with, um, that was a little more suggestive than I was going for.” And she trailed off thinking of the bleached blonde that she would die to do some bumping with. “Anywho, Spike is a vampire who for the past two years has been trying to kill me, and came real close to doing it a few times. Particularly last week over the whole Gem thingy. You’d kinda think I would hold a grudge for that, wouldn’t ya?” Buffy raised an eyebrow as she questioned her two walking companions. They had reached Buffy and Willow’s room and continued inside, envying the quiet of the building that indicated that all sane girls and boys went to sleep hours ago.
“Back to the vision.” Buffy collapsed on her bed, not even removing her shoes. She had made a decision to share, knowing that it was fair to offer some kind of explanation for her behaviour tonight before Willow decided it best to commit her to the loony bin. Not wanting to see any possible looks of disgust in Willow’s eyes, however, she chose to stare at the ceiling while telling her story. “While we were standing in the cavern and Spike was turning into a really impressive light show, I held his hand and then they seemed to catch on fire.”
Tara’s eyes flicked to her reclining form in a sudden raging interest. Willow hadn’t yet seemed to pick up on the importance of the bond.
“He wouldn’t leave with me, told me he could see his soul and that it was beautiful. I told him that I loved him and begged him to leave, but he said he had to stay and finish it. He didn’t believe me, Willow. He thanked me for saying it but that I didn’t mean it then told me to get out.” Willow was alarmed at the distress in her friend’s voice, but the sight of tears falling silently from the emotional girl was enough to coax her into sitting by her on the bed. Buffy grabbed her hand and turned sad, green eyes to her best friend. “Why do they leave, Will? I don’t understand it and I can barely believe it, but I know that what I told him at the end was the truth. I did love him then, but he didn’t believe me.” Buffy had started to sob and Willow encased her in her arms, remembering another similar moment not so long ago when Angel had left town. After the disaster that was Parker, Willow had a feeling that this rejection of her in the future could take an unnatural hold on Buffy and pull her away from her destiny, simply because she feared to give her heart. Not good to get an absolute of rejection before the time had even come to fall in love.
“Ah…Buffy…I-I th-think I might know what ha-happened.”
Buffy turned to the nervous girl with hope. “You do?” She abandoned Willow and went to kneel in front of Tara. “Please tell me,” she begged. The little irritation her body had been feeling since leaving Spike’s presence was building slowly so that now her body was almost reverberating with repetitive chills that wouldn’t let her flesh rest, simply because she was away from him. She felt like something was missing and she was almost frantic to get it back.
Tara stroked her hair and took one of Buffy’s small hands before looking her in the eye. “When you held his hand and told him you loved him?” Her voice was calm and confident, like it had been earlier in the evening when she had forgotten the presence of all of Willow’s friends. Buffy nodded her head, eager to hear something that could explain this terrible yearning in her gut for cold, strong arms to encircle her through the night. “Buffy, your love bonded you together. He was right, though, he had to finish what he was doing, but I think he told you he didn’t believe you so that he could get you out and make sure you lived.” The tears fell in great torrents from her eyes now, and her breath was heaving, but Buffy struggled on to keep control and not submit to the sob fest that she was so heading for.
“But what about future Buffy? She, I mean me, um, I will, would, you know what I mean, devastated, in some capacity.” Buffy waved her arms avidly in the air, trying to indicate something but was too confused to work out what. “He leaves, me, her, and she’ll, ah I’ll, um, think he didn’t believe me. God, I am so confused.” Buffy rubbed a hand over her eyes in exhaustion. “Oh, oh,” she jumped to her feet in agitation. “And what was the point of rewarding him to come back here when he just has to turn right back around and do the great flambé act, deny my declarations, and go poof?” She ended with a dramatic snapping of her fingers in Willow’s stunned, but amused face.
“Um, Buff, hate to tell you after that eloquent appraisal of your future self and all her devastation, but with Spike’s future soul now lodged in the present Spike—God only knows how many years early—then the future will probably be altered.” Willow finished with a confident grin.
“Huh?” Buffy replied with complete incomprehension causing the Willow grin to falter. There was just no explaining a temporal paradox, or the mechanics of time travel, to some people.
“What she means, sweetie,” Tara began with an indulgent smile, “is that now this Spike has a soul your reaction to him will be different and so events could very well unfold in a completely different direction.”
“See,” Willow leapt onto the train and rode it in. “Whatever apocalypse Spike saved us all from, might not even occur.” She was triumphant and pumped her fist in the air.
Buffy just stared at her, a look of horror beginning to penetrate her features.
“But Will, what if it’s all the same? What if getting his soul put the world out of balance and caused the apocalypse in the first place? Bringing it here might bring it on in a week instead of years from now. That’s why I need to see the future—so that I can be ready and make sure we all stay fine. Make sure that I don’t lose him again.”
Willow spluttered at the last statement.
Tara contemplated for a moment.
“I don’t know of actual spells where you can see the future, though I’m sure that they exist. I do know of ones where you can travel back in time. We could try a spell to trace the past of Spike's soul. Which would really be his future.” Willow and Buffy looked at her in awe.
“Wow...” Willow breathed, completely blown away by the concept. “Buffy, we’ll look into it tomorrow. Now I think we should try and get some sleep. Tara, do you want to stay here?”
“Thanks Willow, b-but I-I-I think I should be getting back to m-my own room. I- I’ll see you in the morning to help you look for the spell. Everything will be fine Buffy. What I-I saw of Spike’s and your Aura, it’s all really, really good.” She winked at Buffy, missing her flush as she swept out the door.
“So, did ya kiss him?” Willow bounced back on to Buffy’s bed where the girl had again collapsed and perched delicately on the edge.
“Oh my God, Willow. It was amazing. Spike lips. Mmmm.” Buffy flopped back on her pillow with quite a goofy, ‘lost in the moment’ grin. Willow chuckled then moved back to her own bed, climbing under the covers in relief, realising her friend was already immersed in the mysteries of Spike and unlikely to emerge. She'd better just get used to it and accept it so that her friend didn't feel guilty.
"Oh Buffy, but what about Riley?"
"Hmm? Oh Spike's lips are much better." Buffy remained distracted, thinking of said lips but progressing quickly to images of that tongue.
Supine, they quickly surrendered to sleep.
“You’re a hell of a woman. You’re the one Buffy.” She dreamed of a strange house wrapped in the arms of a protector, her heart thudding hard as her breast rested in sleep against his chest. Close.
For the first time in what felt like years, Buffy Summers slept with a happy, happy smile plastered on her face.
Chapter Ten
Buffy awoke with a buzz. Not a blaring alarm clock buzz, but a God, my skin craves Spike, buzz. For five whole minutes she contemplated the events of the previous night and decided sadly that it was all a dream. That was until Willow entered the room from her shower and asked if Buffy was going to come and help her and Tara look for that spell for Spike’s soul.
With eyes wide in astonishment, Buffy leapt from the bed; frantically started looking for her slippers and a towel and grabbed some clothes and took off for the showers. Two seconds after closing the door behind her, she slammed back into the room to grab her cosmetics bag. With a silly grin she informed Willow that she would need to brush her teeth, and she was off again.
In record time she was back, entering just as Tara reached the door.
“Right,” Buffy began, her voice and facial expression betraying the happy plain that she was visiting. “I think we have some research to do.”
Willow cocked a brow in confusion.
“Um Buff, you do know that research means books, and that means actually sitting at a table with one open and actively reading it?”
Buffy looked at Willow as though she were stupid.
“Of course, Will. And while you guys are looking up that magic stuff, I’ll have some toast or something and see if Giles has come up with any more theories.” Buffy nodded her head determinedly. “Do you think Angel and Spike stayed at Giles’s place last night?”
Willow and Tara exchanged a knowing look.
“D.Don’t vampires sleep during the day?” Tara inquired and Buffy’s good mood deflated with a very obvious pop.
“I forgot about that. Maybe I should do some studying or something and meet you guys there later.”
Now Willow was dumbfounded.
“You want to study?”
Buffy turned to her friend realising what she had proposed.
“Oh, sorry Will, don’t know what I was thinking. Um, what could I do then?”
It was perfectly obvious that Buffy was desperate for some contact with Spike but didn’t want to come across as too eager, so Willow thought to cut her a little slack.
“I’m sure that Giles probably has thought of something. You could tell him about our idea for the spell and see what he thinks. Or you could go tell Xander about Spike’s lips.” Willow shared another of those glances with Tara as they saw Buffy zone out and think again of Spike smoochies. Until the thought of actually telling Xander of said smoochies broke through and she turned grey.
“B-Buffy, I had a thought last night about the spell.” That caught her attention and she narrowed in on the task at hand. The spell was important, not only to satisfy her curiosity, but to ensure that the end of the world was not going to come to a crashing end.
“Yes Tara,” Willow encouraged.
“Well, what I saw last night showed a joining of your soul with Spike’s. I am a little concerned that that will mean if we do a spell on Spike’s soul to find out why he has it it might combine with yours and drag your memories into the spell. We also don’t know how far into the future this apocalypse is that Spike saved the world from, so you could get stuck in years of memories.” Tara stopped at seeing Buffy shake her head.
“I think that’s unlikely. Most slayers have a short shelf life so I don’t think it can be too many years. Besides, it might be fun to see a little of my own future. Make sure I do things right!” Buffy gave an excited laugh, grabbed both girls hands and dragged them out the door to Giles’ place, stopping for donuts on the way.
When they arrived they found Giles with bloodshot eyes and a heavily fragrant mug of coffee. Buffy looked at him and then the mug, shrugged her shoulders and led the way inside. Lying on the sofa, one leg dangling over the edge and head tucked under his arm, was a very uncomfortable looking Angel. The girls just stared at him before turning their eyes back to Giles, seeking an explanation.
“Spike had a rough night,” was all that he would say before heading back to the kitchen.
Willow headed to the bookshelves, seeking texts on magic and carrying all that she could manage to the table. As they sat and started opening the books to relevant areas, Willow and Tara became absorbed and lost sight of Buffy as she decided to corner Giles in the kitchen.
“What happened?” she pointedly blocked his only way out.
“He just got his soul back after a hundred and twenty odd years of killing. He may have dealt with it in the future, but he is having a little trouble grasping the implications of right now. He only just went to sleep a short while ago. I just wish we knew more about why this has happened.” Giles rubbed a tired fist over his forehead, sweeping his fringe back in frustration.
“We think we might be able to do something about that,” Buffy told him quietly, pointing through the window into the living room and the girls occupied with the books. “Tara mentioned last night that it might be possible to do a hitch-hiker spell to Spike’s soul. It could at least tell us how he got it in the first place. See if it was the same curse that Angel has.”
Giles shook his head in the negative.
“I doubt it is the same curse, Buffy. That spell was lost until Jenny deciphered it. Oh.” His voice petered out as he considered something. “I suppose it might be possible that Willow curses him in the future.”
“Whatever,” she swept her hand in a dismissing motion, pretending that the circumstances behind the spell were unimportant. “What we need to know is if getting his soul back now causes an imbalance or something and that we aren’t going to be facing an apocalypse because of it. We have enough on our plates at the moment with those commando’s and trying to work out what their deal is.” Giles nodded his head in resigned agreement.
“I think someone should probably check that Spike is okay,” Buffy stated hopefully.
“Buffy, I think we should talk about what happened between the two of you last night.” Her body went rigid, waiting for the criticisms to come, and Giles decided belatedly to back off a little. “I told Spike that I wouldn’t stand in the way. It is your situation to sort out, so yes, it would be a good idea for someone to go check on Spike. Would you like to?” She let out a put upon sigh and agreed, following Giles’s pointed finger in the direction of Spike.
His body lay on the fold out bed in Giles’ study, as still as death except for the panicked fluttering of his eyelids. As she stood watching, his limbs would give a little jerk, and he would moan every so often. It was obvious that the things he was dreaming about were far from happy.
Feeling an overwhelming sense of urgency, she lay down beside him and reached for his hand. Immediately he seemed to calm, and then she saw the tears begin to make tracks down his face. Holding her breath, not wanting to stop his sleep, she reached out to wipe away the moisture but found it impossible, the flow being too rapid.
She rested her head on the pillow beside him and let her eyes skim over his face. There was no denying that the vamp was extremely good looking. No. That wasn’t right. He had the face of an angel, far too beautiful to be called good looking. A seraphim displaced. A vampire blessed with new life, and possibilities. She could see love carved into his beautiful face, and felt pain that she might not be able to have this. This suggestion of him. Looking at him now, Buffy felt desperate to know that the soul could not be attributed to the curse. She knew that if he were to lose his soul, that perfect happiness would be a curse for her and she would be broken. Surely she couldn't be punished twice for loving a good vampire.
The Powers wouldn’t return him to her here, at this time, if it meant a risk of returning him to the enemy she had feared for the past two years. Here was an offering of special, of right, and the thought that it could be taken away from her terrified her so much that her insides clenched in a debilitating cramp. She closed her eyes to try and gain control of the pain, and when she opened them it was to drown in the bluest seas of imagining. Spike was awake and the pain he couldn’t hide from her made her shed accompanying tears, before wrapping her arm around his waist, dragging herself closer so she could rest her head on his chest. His own arm anchored her to his chest and he wasn’t letting go.
“I’m so sorry, Buffy.” His throat was croaky, showing his exhaustion from the emotional ordeal that had lasted throughout the night. She said nothing, just stroked soothing lines on his bare chest before resting her palm flat over the spot where his heart didn’t beat.
“There are too many dead, and I can’t apologise to them, but God, I’m so sorry for trying to kill you all those times.” Buffy felt all choked up and just knew that if she opened her mouth and attempted to say anything that she would start sobbing. The sadness of his voice was heartbreaking and she could do nothing but offer a little relief in the distraction of a gentle kiss just below her hand. She felt his sudden indrawn breath as his hand urged her to face him, fingers whispering over her cheek to rest under her chin. “I don’t understand what I have done to deserve you being this nice to me,” he whispered, afraid that if he was louder it would bring others to the room and destroy this magical moment of them, and he was dependent just then on the comfort only she could give.
Buffy lifted her finger to his lips, silencing his stream of words.
“Spike, I believe that something incredibly special happened in our future. I don’t know why I feel this connection to you right now. But I don’t think what has happened is just a reward for you. It feels too right to be in your arms…” her quiet tones petered out as she noticed his eyes fixated on her lips, drifting ever closer as she spoke until they were just a breath away. Memories of the magic his lips created the previous night blew her out of her mind and she didn’t even think to raise an objection when his lips found their home on hers again. Her eyes drifted closed and she just gave in to the beauty of the kiss, certain that she had never received a kiss that shook her to the core like this ever before in her life.
Just a gentle touch and she pulled a little distance away, her gaze hooded with want and need, as she swept out her tongue to lick leisurely from one lip level to the next. Her heart was thumping madly as his lips slipped apart and her tongue glided back to the opening and entered the cave of his mouth, seeking and locating the tip of his tongue. Barely making contact, her lips again found his and she lost herself again in her overwhelming need to be one with him. While their lips swished and slid against the other their hands came together and they held on tight, too afraid to let go, knowing that a separation would be like falling off a cliff.
Spike was the one to finally pull away, releasing her lips with a lingering final suck of her bottom lip. One finger traced the line of the same lip as he locked his eyes on hers.
“I never imagined,” he told her huskily and they remained, never looking away from each other, their hands never releasing their nervous hold for an uncountable period of time. Not until they heard a loud shout of 'Eureka!' from the living room, and Buffy explained the search for the spell. Still, it was long minutes before she would surrender the special moments they had shared. But finally she could delay no longer and she pulled him from his reclining position and dragged him out of hiding and back before an audience.
To be continued
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