Taste of Juliet
by Megan
Chapter Eight
Angel and Spike hadn’t moved or spoken since Giles went to retrieve a mug of blood. The elder had retreated into introspection. He felt torn between his pleasure at seeing Buffy again, obviously well even without his protection, but also annoyance at those very same things. He didn’t want to examine too closely the reasons behind his disappointment that Buffy could handle her own without him.
It wasn’t until Giles returned and handed the mug of blood to Spike that Angel realised that his Childe’s body was trembling. It had been a big night so far, and though he was putting on a brave face, Angel well remembered the effect of receiving a soul out of the blue. Even though it was still not clear how Spike’s soul came into being, it would take some getting used to. However much a hero Spike might be in the future, it did not help him acclimatise to his new circumstances in the present. Angel noticed his eyes glass over and realised that now they were virtually alone, Spike appeared to be going into shock. For only a moment did Angel ponder why he found it so easy to believe why Spike would have been a hero. He still remembered his heroic deeds with Drusilla for many mortal lifetimes, and how could he ever forget the betrayal of his own Childe as he himself tried to pull the world into a permanent pit of darkness. He knew Spike was capable of great feats. That he could be brave and courageous, as well as rash and foolhardy. He just felt sick and resentful that Buffy seemed to be the impetus of the transformation and the realisation of Spike’s potential.
Well, he was no longer the only souled vamp in town, and as he was responsible for creating this vamp in particular, he was responsible for his acclimatisation as well. It hadn’t escaped his notice that the Powers That Be wanted him in on the whole scene. Was it a punishment, or simply another opportunity for achieving good? It never occurred to Angel to consider that his search for good acts to achieve his redemption was selfishly driven, and repentance was never acknowledged for those motives. His need to do good continually battled with his desire for reward, and it hadn’t yet occurred to him that Spike had obviously been heroic for a far shorter a time frame, yet the Powers returned him to something potentially very special.
In the end, Angel’s concern was late at being expressed.
Giles placed a hand on Spikes shoulder to draw his attention from the cooling blood.
“Spike, perhaps you need to talk a little to make the situation become real for you. You’re probably feeling like you are trapped in a television soap with all the surreal that has gone on tonight, but I can assure you that you are in my home, apparently with a soul, and according to Buffy, some other problem with the commandos that we will investigate tomorrow. I realise that it was only last week that you were trying to kill Buffy, but I trust in Tara and her abilities.” Giles shot a quick look at Angel then chose his next words carefully. “I observed you earlier, with Buffy. I saw a red mist surround you both, like some form of connection, or rather, a joining .” Spike stared at him intently, grateful that the Watcher did not mention the kissing form that the ’together’ had taken, as he really was not up to a thrash it out till the end, loser takes all moment with his Sire.
“You never mentioned this before, Watcher. I think the Slayer might have wanted to know that.”
“In all the excitement it slipped my mind. I was not sure that she was ready to take that on as well as what Tara said. Nevertheless, I think it is highly possible that in the future something has occurred for you to be one with us in our cause. I won’t say for certain about what your relationship with Buffy consists of, but I think it might be important from what I have seen today. I will let you sort that out on your own and with her. As much as I disapprove of any dealings with you- and that the thought of Buffy embroiled in another relationship with a vampire makes me shudder- I am willing to put aside my previous beliefs and feelings to get to the bottom of this and help you adjust. I can only believe that the Powers have sent you here for a reason, perhaps to prevent what happens to you in the future from happening again. But there is some purpose, of that you can be certain. We can try to find out more tomorrow. Like, how you got your soul, and if it is safe.”
“I tried to eat some students tonight.” Spike’s voice was a tortured whisper as Giles and Angel were struck dumb and still. He didn’t dare raise his eyes as the gentle care that the Watcher had shown him in his little speech affected him deeply, but as yet he had not the tools to deal with the situation.
“It was before the soul thing hit me, I guess. I went looking for the Slayer in her dorm, but no one was in. I guess Red was with the other Wicca. I found another girl and went to bite her when I had a shock in my skull, and I couldn’ do it. As soon as I thought or tried to bite anyone, I felt the pain return. I’ve been wanderin' around all night tryin' to work it out, and then tryin' to hide from the soldiers. They’re trying to recapture me, I wager. Anyway, I felt this searing pain on the inside and a flash of light and I collapsed. I guess that’s where the Slayer found me. So, looks like I’m toothless. And the thought that I tried to eat people tonight makes me feel sick.”
Giles was stunned at this declaration, not really expecting to get so up and personal with a vampire’s eating habits, but even more so at the sight of this once proud Master vampire broken and crying on his sofa. He looked to Angel and found he didn’t understand the meaning behind the gleam in his eye, but was all right with it as it didn’t appear alarming, but almost soft.
“How long ago did they capture you?” Angel leaned in toward him.
“A few days I guess,” He answered, sniffling self-consciously and rubbing absently at his watery eyes.
“Is that how long since you’ve fed?”
“Roughly. Couldn’ take their blood. It was drugged so they could do experiments on me. Another vamp in the cell nex’ me said that he’d been fighten’ with the Slayer and nex’ thing he was in the cell. So I figured it was her fault I got caught, I was watching her fight at the time, and I escaped to get revenge. Bollixed that up right proper.” He barked an unamused, slightly tortured laugh before burying his head in his hands. And his body was back to shaking.
“I’m covered in blood. It won’ ever come off. Bloody Hell. Why didn’ you do us in Peaches, when you got your soul? You should’na let us go on killin’.” At his muffled, hurt words, Spike sobbed quietly.
Giles looked to Angel, transfixed by the recording opportunities of this story, not really ever having taken the chance to discuss the past with Angel, or even the repercussions of his returned soul. He was shocked to see tears in the elder vamps eyes. Angel reached forward and took Spike’s hand and squeezed it hard.
“I could never have done that, William. I loved you all. My Sire, though she was cruel. My crazy Dru, my very own shameful responsibility. And no less than them, William, I loved you. We were family. I may have killed my mortal family when I had no soul, but I could never have killed my immortal family with one. And now I am so very glad that I left you to survive, because look where you are now. You have been shined on by the greatest light of all, Buffy, and have achieved great things, or the Powers would never have given you a reward. You have achieved in the future, William, and you have a great opportunity right now to make this soul retrieve all the good that you were. Spike, you may have murdered in the past, indeed I trained you to be one of the best, but you always had a good heart for those you loved. I have no doubt that whenever you got your soul it was because of that devotion in you. Finally, you are free.” Spike raised disbelieving eyes to his Sire, desperate hope churning in his gut, Buffy thoughts and dreams racing through his mind. Angel seemed so earnest.
Angel put more pressure on his hand and smiled reassuringly and Spike decided to believe.
And he found his selflessness in repentance.