Chapter 10
Buffy stared at the spot Rebecca had stood ‘Did
she just hear what she thought she heard.
Was Rebecca telling her that she was going to get a second chance to be
with Spike?’ Buffy felt hope fill
her heart, something was happening.
Rebecca knew something that she wasn’t telling the others. Her brow furrowed as she tried to puzzle out
what was happening.
Giles and Anya took that moment to
return. Both sporting wide smiles and
clasping hands, they whispered to each other giggling softly.
Buffy smiled up at them “Oh my God. Giles did you just giggle?”
Giles blushed a deep red and started to
stammer. Anya smiled up at him
indulgently before turning back to Buffy “We want you to be the first to
know. Rupert and I are together.” She
leaned conspiratorially forward “As in orgasm friend together.” She turned back round and gave Giles a deep
kiss before pulling back “I have to go report back. I will see you all at Restfield cemetery just
after sunset.” She gave a small wave
before teleporting out of the room.
Giles sat down beside Buffy nervously he had
no idea how to explain this to her. He
reached for his glasses and remembered that Anya had thrown them away. “Buffy, I know…” he turned to look at her.
Buffy smiled in amusement “Its ok
Giles. I think the two of you would make
a wonderful couple.” She patted him
gently on the arm to reassure him “Xander will just have to deal.”
Giles stared at her “That’s very
understanding of you Buffy. Are you sure
your ok with this.”
Buffy nodded “The heart wants what the heart
wants.” She took a deep breathe “In fact
there’s something I need to tell you guys.
How about we go look for the others so I can tell you all together.”
Giles was puzzled but followed anyway, he
thought he might know what she was going to tell them and his heart ached for
the pain that his daughter must be in.
As they reached the door Buffy turned to
yell upstairs “We’re just going out for a bit Rebecca.” A disjointed ok floated downstairs to
farewell them as they left.
*********************************************************************
Upstairs Rebecca lay on the bed she had shared
with Spike last night; she turned slightly to inhale his scent. He still smelt of her beloved William but now
there were other scents intermingled as well.
She closed her eyes tightly as tears threatened to spill.
The room around her started to glow as two
forms began to take shape and move towards the bed.
“Why do I have to do this?” Rebecca opened
her eyes to stare at the ghostly forms “It hurts so much.”
As the ghosts reached her side they
enveloped Rebecca “Shhh it has to be done this way.”
Rebecca closed her eyes once again as she
felt the gentle caresses of her companions as they stroked her lovingly, all
the while whispering words of reassurance and encouragement. She felt their love fill her completely as
she drifted of to sleep.
The two stayed by her side until she was
sleeping deeply. One moved forward to
brush a ghostly kiss across her forehead.
They moved away to stand at the end of the bed gazing upon her sleeping
form. Slowly they began to fade and as
the last glow began to wane the word “Soon” softly floated through the air.
*********************************************************************
Dawn sprinted forward “Buffy! Wait up!”
Buffy and Giles turned towards them “Hey
Dawnie. Did you find Xander?”
Giles averted his eyes feeling responsible
for Xander's pain and the girls worry.
The others looked at
Dawn suddenly had a thought “His parents,
has anyone checked his parent’s house?”
No one had thought of checking the Harris’s,
they all knew that Xander hated being around his parent’s fighting.
“Let’s go check” Buffy wrapped her arm
around
The group stood out the front of the house
listening to the yells coming from inside.
Xander sat huddled on the old sofa listening
to his parents arguing and feeling sorry for himself. He was so lost in his pity party that he
didn’t hear the others coming down the stairs.
He jumped in surprise when
“Will?” Xander looked at her in surprise
then slowly looked at the others until his eyes landed on Giles “What’s he
doing here?” he asked bitterly.
“Xander that’s enough!” Buffy moved to sit
in front of him “I know things are...well...strange right now. But we don’t have time for this.” She looked around as the others found places
to sit. “I know that you hurt. But Xander you were the one that chose to
leave Anya.”
Xander started to protest but Buffy cut him
off “You left Anya at the altar. You
could have gone to her at any time and told her your doubts, but you
didn’t. Anya has every right to be hurt
and angry with you.” She reached forward
for his hands offering him some small amount of comfort. “Do you love her Xander?” he mutely nodded
“Do you want her to be happy?” Xander nodded again “Then let her be
happy.”
Buffy glanced at Giles. “Both Anya and Giles deserve some happiness
and if being together makes them happy then so be it.”
Buffy stood and began to pace nervously “I
have something to tell you all and I would appreciate it if you let me get
through it without interruption.” She
sat down abruptly “I know what it feels like to watch the person you love be
with someone else.” She heard a few
gasps but no one spoke.
“I am in love with Spike.” Buffy glanced at Tara who was smiling her
encouragement. “When I came back I was
so lost. I couldn’t feel anything. I wanted to tell you guys about being in
heaven but you were all so happy that I was back.” She gave them a soft sad
smile “It felt like Spike was the only one that I could talk to. Before I died I was starting to see
him…differently, more of a man than a monster.
I trusted him and when I came back I found myself turning to him
more. Do you remember that night when
Sweet was here?” everyone nodded “That’s the first time I kissed him. When we touched I felt at peace. Whole again.
I kept telling myself that it was wrong to feel these things for
him. Then when I found out that he could
hurt me I thought that I was right. That I had come back wrong.”
Tears began to run down her face “I was
sleeping with him. Using him for sex,
using him to feel. I kept telling myself
that it didn’t matter what I did to him.
He didn’t have a soul so he couldn’t feel.”
Dawn stood and silently wrapped her arms
around her sister pulling her down to sit on the floor.
“One night I beat him so badly that he could
barely move. We were in an alley near
the police station, and I just left him there.
To die.” Buffy looked down ashamed
“Everything I said to him, everything I did
to him was everything that I wanted to do to myself.” Buffy once again caught Xander's eyes “I let
fear rule my actions and I ended up almost destroying the one person who loved
me unconditionally. Even when I went to
him after that he never turned from me.
It was only after Riley came back and caught us together that I realised
what I was doing.”
Giles awkwardly sat down behind her on the
floor wanting to show his support. Buffy
smiled her thanks to him “It was only when I saw him with Rebecca that I
realised what I had been denying myself all this time.” She lay her head onto Giles’s shoulder “So I
know what you feel Xander. I feel it
every time I look at them together. But I decided that I want him to be happy
and Rebecca makes him happy.” She closed
her eyes and waited for the words of shock and condemnation.
None came.
Buffy wearily opened her eyes to look at
Xander. He stared back at her his eyes
full of pain, sorrow and understanding.
Silently he moved to sit in front of the small group and wrapped his
arms around Buffy “I’ll help you if you help me”
Buffy hugged him tight “deal” the rest of
the girls moved to bring him into their embrace turning to pull Giles closer as
well.
Dawn’s muffled voice made its way through
the tangle of limbs “Umm guys I think we need to get up. I’m getting a cramp.”
They started to laugh as the untangled
themselves and rose to their feet. Giles
was complaining about his aching back as he slowly tried to unbend
himself. A hand was thrust into his line
of vision; Giles looked up to see Xander standing before him “Need a hand there
G-Man?”
Giles felt relief wash through him as he
took his hand. “Thank you”
Xander gave him a short nod before turning
back to the others “So girls what’d I miss”
“Oh my God Xander! Travers is this icky demon that eats his own
kids”
“Always knew that man was evil” Buffy added
“Oh and there is a demon community still in existence. It’s called Midian and Anya is going to take
us there tonight.” Buffy studied Xander carefully “Are you going to be ok with
that?”
Xander placed a hand over his heart “You
have the Xan Mans promise to be on his best behavior.” A loud crash came from upstairs closely
followed by the sound of his parent’s angry voices. “Come on guys lets get out of here.”
The group headed back towards
“Rebecca’s at home and Spike went to get
some things from his crypt.” Buffy gave
a wry smile “I don’t think there’s much there though. Riley and I kinda blew it up.”
“Do you want me to come with you”
“No its ok.
I won’t be long.” answered
*********************************************************************
Spike burst through the front door stamping
out his blanket before throwing it onto the nearby coat rack. He stood in the hallway listening for any
sound; he heard a faint heartbeat coming from upstairs. Smiling to himself he made his way up to the
room he was sharing with Rebecca.
He quietly placed his small duffle bag on
the floor before leaning back against the door to study his sleeping wife. Rebecca lay on her side facing the door one
hand on the pillow near her face, the other resting lightly on her
stomach. Spike inhaled deeply filling
himself with her scent, she had always smelt like wildflowers to him and the
scent bought back memories of their human life together.
Spike moved to sit on the edge of the bed;
he brushed a stray curl from her face, allowing his finger to trace a gentle
path across her face as he did. Rebecca
stirred at his touch and blinked up at him.
“Your back?”
“Can never stay away from you for long my
luv” Spike kicked of his boots and stretched out beside her, mirroring her
position. The couple lay there staring
into each others eyes “I love you Becca.”
“I love you William” Rebecca moved forward
and pressed her lips against his “I have something I need to tell you
William.” Rebecca sat up pulling Spike
up beside her.
“S’ok luv, you can tell me anything.” Spike sensed her nervousness.
Rebecca sighed and started to trace patterns
on the back of his hand with her fingertips.
“There’s something you didn’t know about when I died.”
Spike’s grip tightened as he waited for her
to continue.
“When I died.” Rebecca turned away slightly
to gather her self before turning back to him “When I died I was with child.”
Spike drew a sharp breathe before his hand
flew to her stomach.
“I had only known for sure for a few
days. I was so scared about telling you
in case something happened to me or the baby.
I had told Uncle Rupert that I wanted to start a family. That is why we
were slowly introducing you to the people of Salus. The plan was for us to go there when we
wanted a family. Things just happened
more quickly than I thought.”
Spike gently rubbed her stomach “Its ok
Becca. It’s not your fault.” His voice
was thick with emotion.
“I did a spell when I came back, to check my
aura. I thought maybe that because I was
alive again that maybe the baby would be too.”
Rebecca looked down as she gently caressed her stomach. “The baby is still there, it shows in my
aura. But there is no life. Our baby is dead William.” Tears began to flow freely down her face once
again.
“Shhh luv.
S’not your fault.” Spike kissed the tears from her face; he gathered her
close trying to soothe her. He heard a
noise downstairs “The others are back luv, how about you hop in the shower and
I’ll go see what’s happening.”
He gently guided Rebecca towards the shower
before heading downstairs his heart heavy at the thought of his lost child.
*********************************************************************
The others entered the house busily making
plans for sleeping arrangements.
“I want everyone here” Buffy was in full
command mode “If we’re going to be going up against the council I want everyone
in one place. We’ll have to speak to
Rebecca about one of those no violence spells she was talking about.”
They looked up as Spike came down the stairs
his eyes moist from tears.
Dawn moved forward in concern “Are you
alright Spike.”
“Yeah bit.
It’s just been a bit emotional.
Feel like I’ve done nothing but cry for the last couple of days” Spike
attempted to give her a cocky grin “Turning into a right poof.”
“I know how you feel” Buffy sympathized
“Where’s Rebecca?”
“Just havin a shower, she’ll be down in a
bit.”
“What’s that sweetie?”
“It’s Spike’s”
Spike’s eyes lit up as he opened the box and
began to search through the contents. He
found what he was searching for as Rebecca started to come downstairs. He turned to watch his wife as she walked
down to him, the box in his hands slowly starting to slip from his grasp. Tara moved forward grabbing the box before it
fell.
Rebecca reached the foot of the stairs
“What’s wrong?”
“Just realised something’s missing.”
“What?” Rebecca was confused “What’s missing”
Spike slowly lifted his hand and let his
fist uncurl to reveal a shiny gold object.
Rebecca gasped “My wedding ring”
Spike took the ring from his palm grabbing
her hand as he did. His hands trembled
as he slowly slid the ring into place. “There
now everything’s perfect.” He lifted her
hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on her wedding band.