Snapshots of Eternity
by Slinkyspychokit


Chapter Eleven:
Spin You to Thy Rest

Cordelia had been awake for three days. At first, she'd been exhausted- which was an odd sensation considering she'd been asleep for the past eight months. The exhaustion and disorientation had lasted only as long as it had taken Angel and Wesley to arrive from wherever they had been when the medical staff had alerted them of Cordelia's return to land of ‘the not in a coma.’

Like an avenging...well, angel, Angel had swept into the room, a good brood on his face. His eyes were cold and flat towards the senior medical staff, sending doctors, nurses and orderlies, alike, scurrying off to an elsewhere not inside her semi-private room. Then, just Angel, Wesley and herself remained. Cordy's deep, wide set eyes welled with the tears of relief that the vampire and the former Watcher turned rogue demon hunter had come for her. After the hell of the previous year - after the supernatural entity within Cordelia's body had torn apart all their lives - Angel and Wesley had still come for her.

It all came back to her in a rush—the guilt and the horror that she'd been unable to prevent the other from shoving all that was Cordelia Chase into some dark hole inside as it brought forth the Beast. Images of the pain she'd caused as ‘she’ played on the confused affections of the man-child she'd looked upon as a surrogate son...

No! Not me! That thing was controlling my body! I didn't...would never...

Great wracking sobs tore from deep down in her soul and Cordelia whimpered, burying her face in her hands so the men didn't see. Strong arms wrapped around her, and she jerked away from the comforting embrace. Or tried to, at least. They just held on tighter; Angel to her left, Wesley to her right, different as night and day, yet similar in their desire to ease her suffering as well as to celebrate the return of one whom they'd both thought was lost to them.

Neither man spoke as they held the third part of their triad—She’d been the heart and soul of what once had been Angel Investigations after Doyle had sacrificed himself to save the countless lives of beings whose only crimes had consisted of the fact that they were demon halflings. Until Gunn had come along, it had just been the three of them. A vampire cursed with a soul, a former Watcher ostracized by the Council to which he’d devoted his life in service, and a former Scooby, who’d left behind the Hellmouth once her family had lost all its wealth and possessions. Well, not so much lost, as the IRS had come and taken it all away in lieu of the taxes Daddy had never bothered to pay. Ever.

Then Gunn had reluctantly found himself as part of the group after the numerous times his gang of streetwise of demon hunters had crossed paths with Angel Investigations. Both leaders finding a common goal in their mission – saving the helpless from those creatures that went fangy and homicidal in the night. The young, tough black man had lost his entire family to vampires, his baby sister having been turned and subsequently staked by Gunn’s own hand.

This moment, however, wasn’t about Gunn. Or Lorne, the Pylean empath demon, whose world had imprisoned the sweet, introverted Texan, Fred, until Angel had rescued her on the way to rescuing Cordelia when she’d ended up in the alternate dimension.

This moment was about the three present-- Vampire, Watcher and Seer. All connected by memories of life as a white hat fighting evil atop a hellmouth. They were now linked in another way. Each had caused pain for the others in the years since forming Angel Investigations. Each had committed crimes against each other that would haunt them as they sought atonement for past sins.

Although her tears had stopped, they still sat on the narrow hospital bed and clung to each other. Cordy sighed from between slightly trembling lips and she closed her eyes. She reveled in the cool touch of Angel’s soft, firm lips pressed to her temple, while Wesley’s warm cheek rested in the crook of her neck.

The storm of emotions passed at last, and Cordy wriggled in attempt to get the men to move. “Guys, uh…not that I’m not glad to see you, cuz, I’m all with the so glad I’m not Coma Cordy anymore, but…Think we can get out of here? Think I’ve had more than enough of hospitals to last me the next forever.”

*************************************

Hours had passed since Cordelia had found herself once more a part of the waking world and she found herself wishing, at the oddest moments, that she were back in that other place. The place between the worlds where light met shadow, land of the eternal gray area.

Being back was painful. There was so much pain in the world. Death and disease; thousands of atrocities humans visited upon each other. Add to that the forces of evil, monsters of every ilk ready to tear flesh from bone and consume the souls of the innocent.

Dread had settled like a lead weight in the pit of her stomach. More and more memories were coming back to her, and Cordy felt the weight of knowledge pressing down on her soul. The burden of truth was a terrible thing as the Seer settled herself on the side of Angel’s bed opening a cardboard box filled with her personal effects Angel had saved.

A sad little smile curved her lips as she pulled her high school yearbook, still slightly charred around the edges. Sunnydale was gone now, with no sign that it had ever existed. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Now, there was nothing but a big dirt-filled crater where once there had been a town. One dark eyebrow arched slightly as the old saying ‘you can never go home again’ teased through her mind.

Discarding the yearbook without opening it, Cordy continued to rifle through the box’s contents. Photo albums and framed pictures, knick-knacks and little mementos of her time since moving to Los Angeles and taking up with Angel and his mission.

Tears filled her eyes as she came across a framed sketch she’d done after the very first vision she’d been given by the Powers That Be. Angel had framed the ugly little picture of the “gray blob-y thing” as a reminder that a piece of Doyle would remain with them always. The tears spilled over and tracked down her cheeks, unchecked by a woman whose mind now focused inward upon the memory of the Irish human/Brachen demon hybrid.

Sure, Doyle had drunk too much, gambled with money he didn’t have, and had worse fashion sense than a sixteen-year-old Xander Harris. But, that was Doyle. Despite all his faults, a very large part of Cordy had fallen in love with him. Despite the impenetrable walls she had built around her heart after the numerous times it had been broken, it was Doyle who’d wormed his way inside and refused to do the gentlemanly thing and leave.

More memories of the last five years brought with them the nearly overwhelming weight of knowledge gained, be it through experiences or what she acquired as she’d existed on that higher plane. Her tenure as a higher being had gifted her with the ability to see the big picture. And, oh boy, had she seen enough to know that she’d rather be ignorant. Past, present and future. She knew what was to come, though she also knew that the geas upon her wouldn’t allow her to actually communicate that knowledge. It was hers and hers alone. Curse and gift, both at the same time.

Shaking herself from her reveries, Cordy gently placed the framed sketch on the bed beside her and reached for another item within the box. “I know you’re there. I can feel you,” her voice rang out strong and true in the semi-darkness of Angel’s bedroom. “Might as well show yourself.”

With a wave of one slender hand, a ray of white light spread across the walls with a whisper of sound. That particular power had come as part of her demon package was one of the few things she was grateful for in the wackiness that was Cordelia Chase. A soft popping sound signified that the room was secure and cloaked from detection by the Senior Partners.

The figure lurking just outside the bedroom door entered, head down, footsteps silent on the plush carpeting. Cordy lay the video cassette in her lap and studied the intruder, gaze looking past the façade of strength and courage to see the fear so well hidden from the rest of the world.

“Must be exhausting,” the Seer’s voice was filled with compassion, and blue eyes snapped up sharply. “Playing all sides. Going against the natural order. You’ve no idea what you’ve done, no inkling of the events you’ve set in motion.”

Anger furrowed the smooth brow on the child before her, though not a word passed from the tightly closed mouth. Cordy waited a moment to see if her visitor would speak, her dark eyebrows rose when she was answered with silence.

“What?” she asked when the silence continued, “Nothing to say? Not like there is anything to say. What’s done is done, and there’s no way you can take it back.”

Again there was silence.

Cordy sighed as she felt a bit of maternal instinct rise within herself. “Does he know who you are, or why you’re really here? Do any of them know?”

A shake of the head, and the older woman was ready to scream in frustration at the stubborn silence she received as answers to her question. A brief glance at the tape in her lap and she had an idea. Rising, the brunette crossed to the entertainment system situated against one of the walls. “I want to show you something.”

*************************************

It was a couple hours, and way too much thinking than was healthy for her, later when Cordelia heard the ding signifying the arrival of the elevator. She was still seated on the edge of Angel’s bed, her visitor long gone and the video still playing. Her heart ached with a bittersweet longing to return to the early days of Angel Investigations when things had been somewhat normal despite the very lack of normality which encompassed all their lives.

She remembered the day this video had been made, and smiled a little as the ensouled vampire wandered into the bedroom. She spared him with a brief glance as she continued to watch Doyle onscreen, bright blue eyes filled with determination as the crystalline orbs surreptitiously flicked from the camera to the off-screen cue cards she’d written for him. Bad acting and discomfiture at being in front of the all-seeing lens making the half-demon’s shoulders hunch a bit and his hands fiddle with some object or another in the pockets of his wrinkled, ill-fitting pants.

“…so when the chips are down, and at the end of your rope, you need someone you can count on. That’s what you’ll find here. Someone who’ll go all the way. Someone who’ll protect you no matter what. So don’t lose hope.”

Pausing the tape, Cordy returned her gaze to the large figure standing in the doorway, inwardly delighted to find his dark eyes on the screen. “First soldier down,” she announced unnecessarily. She’d been preparing for this conversation since the moment she’d learned of Angel’s new position as CEO of Wolfam & Hart, evil Attorneys at Law.

And who the hell in their right mind would hire Harmony as their personal assistant? Nevermind that she’s as vapid as they come, she’s a freaking soulless vampire!

*************************************

The dark haired vampire had become very still beneath the intense scrutiny of the woman seated upon the edge of his bed. How many times had he dreamed of just one more minute with Cordelia's eyes focused on him? How many months, years, had he wanted to see her smiling and know that it was all for him? The months she'd spent on the higher plane had left a gaping hole in his life, and an even larger emptiness within his soul.

Once she'd been returned to him, her body had unknowingly been infested with the entity that would become Jasmine once it had used Angel's own son to conceive a flesh and blood vessel for it to inhabit.

She was speaking, and Angel forced away thoughts of the past as he stepped further into the room.

"Sorry," she murmured and fidgeted with the remote in her hand before dropping it onto the bed beside her. "I found this and-"

"No. It's okay," he assured her as he seated himself beside her. "You couldn't sleep?"

An unladylike snort was her answer. "God, no. I've slept enough to last me a lifetime."

Angel nodded his understanding. Turned so that he wasn't facing her or the screen but could see the reflection of both in the large windows overlooking the busy lights of Los Angeles. "It's been a long while since I've seen this," he admitted.

"Doyle pissed me off so righteously going out like that." Cordelia whispered softly. She glanced at Angel's back, knowing that she'd found the right method by which to broach this conversation. "But, he knew. He knew what he had to do and didn't compromise. He used his last breath to make sure you would keep fighting. I get that now." Do I ever...

Angel sighed, "Cordy...".

A moment passed while he struggled with what to say that would make her understand.

"There were reasons I agreed to take over Wolfram & Hart. Reasons you don't understand."

Apparently, that was the absolute wrong thing to say as the woman he loved launched herself up from the bed and paced across the room angrily before turning her furious gaze on him. Warning bells sounded in his head despite his demon's primal assessment that she'd never looked more gorgeous. God, help him, the man in him agreed as he tried in vain to force the lusty thoughts from taking over.

Then Catherine Cordelia Chase opened up that spectacular mouth and dumped a proverbial barrel of ice water over his head.

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