Normal Again

Sunnydale at night

Buffy walks along a sidewalk. She wears a touque reminiscent of Becoming, a waist-length leather jacket, white shirt and scarf, and blue jeans. She's looking at a list- 'New Rentals'. Much of the list is scratched out in red marker. Stopping, she looks at a house and walks up to it.

___

A nice flatscreen monitor. Buffy's image is on the screen.

Jonathan sits in the Troika's lair. He's asleep in front of various screens and electronic equipment. Andrew sits in the background- slowly, a grey metal tube enters the frame- levelled at Jonathan's head.

Jonathan jumps up as Warren douses him with water from a Super Soaker. Jonathan's not impressed- Warren and Andrew laugh. They argue about Jonathan having fallen asleep while watching the monitors.

Jonathan looks horrible. Besides being wet, he's got black circles under his eyes. He's keyed up and agitated. "What do you expect?" He snarls "I haven't had a decent night's sleep since-" Jonathan pauses, changes track. "I mean, I'm going Jack Torrence in here, you know? Stuck in this basement for weeks. I mean, we rented the whole house. Can't we at least sleep upstairs?"

As Andrew and Jonathan get into an argument over the meaning of 'laying low' and Warren tries to keep order, Andrew suddenly notices Buffy on the monitor. Warren orders Andrew to summon up his 'little friend'. Andrew smiles, then sits to play his didgeridoo.

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Outside the Troika's house.

Buffy peers into windows and then walks into the alley. Suddenly, a demon jumps down from the roof of the house and growls. He's slick-headed bald. Kind of like a bloated purple-y Cabbage Patch Kid and wearing a shredded black cloak.

"Oh, hi. You didn't, by chance, happen to just eat a couple nerds, did you?" Buffy asks it.

The two begin to fight. Buffy does fairly well, (nicely done fight) but its clear the demon is pretty strong. After she smashes its head into one of the parked cars, the demon ejects a long white skewer from it's hand- then turns Buffy around and jabs it into Buffy's arm.

Buffy screams.

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A white room.

Buffy is being held by a two people in white coats. They're trying to keep her from moving. One jabs her with a needle.

Outside the room, patients and medical staff walk in a long hallway. Vibes of a mental hospital.

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Credits and commercial.

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Alley near the Troika's lair.

Buffy moans. Holding her arm, she pushes herself up from leaning against the car and looks around the alley. The demon is gone.

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Sunnydale University entryway.

Willow stands peering through the arched opening in the wall. She's talking to herself nervously, and watching students enter the building.

"Hi, um, Tara. how are you? I was wondering, maybe, if you want to go out sometime... for coffee, food, kisses, and gay love?" Willow stops, sighs. "Hi, Tara. Guess what? magic-free now for--insert number-- days now." Tara enters the hall. Willow gathers herself, starts to approach- smiling happily- as Tara is approached by another girl. The girl leans over to Tara in greeting, kissing her on the cheek. Willow looks devastated- she only watches for a moment as Tara and the girl speak, then turns and walks quickly down the hall away from Tara. Tara and the girl part and Tara starts down the hall- she looks up and sees Willow rushing away. Tara's face looks concerned.

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The Doublemeat Palace.

Buffy is busy at the fry cooker. She is blinking like her head hurts. She walks over to the counter.

The Manager who took over for Manny calls her name. She's standing at the counter.

Buffy turns to answer to her name-

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The Hospital.

Buffy turns to answer her to her name-

A nurse stands at the counter. "Come on. it's time for your drugs." The nurse holds up a bottle.

Buffy' s face fills with anxiety she gasps-

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The Doublemeat Palace.

Buffy gasps- "What?"

The manager is staring at her. "I said, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were on drugs."

Buffy looks down, her face filled with confusion. "Okay, good."

Buffy turns around, goes back to the fryer- dumps the fries into the bin. They're dark and overcooked.

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The Summers House.

Buffy comes down the stairs and enters the dining room. Willow is at her laptop, typing. Buffy sits at the table and asks what Willow is up to. Willow replies that she is checking for email form Xander. There is none. They haven't heard from him since he left the wedding.

"Well, maybe Anya found him and they're trying to work it out." Buffy reasons, tilting her head- then looks at Willow. "How come you're all home, hearth, and DSL, anyway? I thought you were gonna go see Tara."

"Saw her. Saw her completely." Says Willow, bitterly.

"Ouch. Just got a scratch from all that brittle." Buffy cringes at bit.

Willow closes the laptop. Mutters, "it's--when I was seeing her, she was seeing someone else-a girl."

"You mean-?" Buffy asks.

"I mean... not seeing-seeing. Well, maybe. I don't know. It was inconclusive, and I didn't stick around to find out." Willow looks down at the laptop, raises her eyebrows.
"Might have magicked my fist through a wall or something."

"Will, I'm sorry- "

"And they're probably just friends." Willow says reasonably- then lapses back into bitterness- "I press my lips against my friends' all the time."

Buffy puts her hand on Willow's "I'm sure they're just friends." She pauses, then takes the manner of stating a fact- "Once you fall for Willow, you stay fallen."

"Thanks, Buffy." Willow sighs- still not happy.

The doorbell rings.

As Buffy and Willow go to answer, Xander walks in, sticks his head around and says hi. He looks unhappy and humble. He's wearing his brown leather jacket over a beige patterned shirt and black pants.

Buffy and Willow immediately grab Xander into a big hug- saying his name and telling him that they've missed him. Xander pats their backs wearily and explains that he hasn't been able to bring himself to call. Buffy tells him that he doesn't need to explain.

Xander asks if Anya is in the house- his voice cracks. He looks hopeful. Buffy and Willow return to their seats at the dining room table- Xander still stands.

Willow is surprised "You wanna find her?"

"I need to. Her suitcase is gone and some of her stuff. There's a 'closed' sign on the magic box, which, like, chills me to the bone." Xander says quietly, worried.

"She left a couple days ago." Willow explains. She sits crouched a bit, her hands clutched in her lab.

"Was she looking for me?" Xander asks. Willow glances back at Buffy- they are both uncomfortable. "Before she left, did she say anything?"

"You mean, between the sobs?" Willow looks up at Xander, a bit reproachful. "There was mostly just wheezing."

"She was a little-" Buffy starts, then pauses. "She was kind of broken."

Xander moves from foot to foot. "I don't know how stuff got so mixed-up. I blew it." He's angry at himself, but still kind of quiet.

"Well, maybe it wasn't the best time to break up with her, but-" Buffy starts, but Xander interrupts.

"No, it wasn't about breaking up." Xander keeps moving. He's not sure how to communicate what he's been feeling. "I love her, and, god, I miss her so much." His voice cracks a bit.

"So you left her at the altar, but you still wanna-" Willow asks softly, halts.

"You still wanna date?" Buffy finishes.

"I guess." He says pointedly, then quickly lays it out. "I know that I'm a better person with her in my life, but things got so complicated with the wedding and with my family and with her...demons, and what if it all goes to *hell* and forever? But then I left..." He pauses, goes slower. "And ever since, I've had this painful hole inside..." Xander's voice cracks. "and I'm the idiot that dug it out." He shakes his head slowly, hopelessly. "I screwed up real bad."

"Hey. We all screw up." Buffy says.

Xander just shakes his head, hating himself.

__

The Cemetery.

Spike enters the graveyard and walks briskly through the tombstones. He's carrying his groceries in a brown paper bag. He's wearing all black- jeans, tee and duster. Reaching into his pockets, Spike retrieves his smokes and puts one to his lips- as he looks up and realizes that Buffy is there.

"You looking for me?" Spike asks, slowing his pace.

"Really not." Buffy doesn't turn around. She's just on patrol. She wears her brown jacket (the one with the grass stain) and a beige felt hat. She's still wearing the beige turtleneck form earlier.

Spike stops, puts his parcel on a tomb. "Oh. right then." He flicks his Zippo and lights up the cigarette. "Off you go." He looks up at Buffy as she continues walking. "Did you cry?"

Buffy stops and blinks a few times and looks down to the side - doesn't look back at him. "What?"

"The wedding-" Spike clarifies. "Two hearts joined for eternity. Great pelting showers of rice and so forth."

"You didn't hear." Buffy turns around to face him, walks up to where he stands smoking.

"What?" Spike asks, "Families get out of hand?" He tilts his head at her, gives a small wry grin. "Tear the place apart?"

"No. Well, yes, absolutely, but Xander left." Buffy explains, "The wedding didn't happen."

"Well, gotta say..." Spike looks surprised, speaks softly. "I didn't see that coming." He sits down on a tombstone.

"it was awful. Anya was devastated." Buffy sits down across from him.

"Is that right?" Spike asks, taking a drag.

Buffy looks uncomfortable- but she's ready to vent a bit. "And Xander thinks maybe they can still get back together, but-" She looks up at Spike, shakes her head. "He hurt her a lot."

"Yeah, well." Spike looks up at her, matter-of-fact. "Some people can't see a good thing when they've got it." Buffy gives him a little glare- he returns it sideways, scarred eyebrow raised slightly.

Willow and Xander come up behind the two.

"Spike. I should have known you'd be tagging along." Xander says.

Buffy gets up quickly, gestures at Spike. "Hey, guys. I, uh, I found Spike and was, uh, trying to figure out what kind of dangerous contraband he had."

Spike blinks at her - then stands up - fed up. "Tell you what, Slayer. Let me get out of your way. I'll stop bothering you." He picks up his groceries and moves to leave.

But Xander sticks his foot in it. "Yeah, maybe you should do that, Spike. Just run along." He says snarkily.

Spike takes a step to Xander- puffs up. "I guess you know all about that, don't you?" Spike says confronting Xander. "The king of the big exit. Heard it brought the house down."

"I don't need this crap from you." Xander's a bit surprised- defensive.

Spike stares him down. "Right. Let's not listen to Spike." He turns to look at Buffy- . "Might get a bit of truth on you." -then back at Xander, and gets in his face.

Willow intervenes, raising her hands. "Okay, okay. Calm now. Let's, uh, turn around and release this very manly thing the other way."

Spike blinks at Xander, not backing down. He ignores Willow, and smiles slightly.

Xander turns away from Spike, looks at Willow- he's still posturing. "I forgot. Willy Wannabite can't hurt me. Dumb to pick a fight, I guess."

Willow says, admonishing. "Xander-"

"Guys." Buffy breathes, then unnoticed, Buffy slumps to the tombstone she'd been sitting on.

Spike turns, tosses his groceries to the ground. "More than happy to beat you right through the pain, you pathetic poof."

As Spike turns back to Xander from tossing the bag, Xander sucker-punches Spike- who falls-

Buffy crouches over herself- her arms around her head. "Guys, don't." She breathes.

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The Hospital

Buffy is crouched over herself- sitting in a corner.

A doctor is crouches in front of her. "Buffy, can you hear me?"

Buffy looks around, out of it, and confused. "What is this?

"Do you know where you are, Buffy?" The doctor asks.

"Sunnydale." Buffy breathes.

"No. none of that's real. None of it. You're in a mental institution. You've been with us now for 6 years." The doctor explains. "Do you remember?"

The camera moves back to reveal the room- Buffy sits on the far side of a white room. A bed fitted with restraints is the main fixture in the room. Buffy looks around- she looks at the doctor-

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The Cemetery.

Spike rolls back over himself from Xander's blow. Xander and Willow rush over to Buffy- asking if she is okay. Spike gathers himself up.

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The Hospital.

The doctor leans forward, grabs Buffy's arm. Buffy pulls away and begins banging her head against the wall. "It's okay, Buffy. Buffy, it's okay." The doctor consoles. "Look. look who's here."

Joyce walks over to lean over Buffy. Hank is behind her. "Welcome home, Sweetie." Joyce says.

Buffy looks shocked- jolted to the bone.

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Commercial

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The Hospital.

Buffy is confused, but so happy to see her mother. Hank hangs in the background.

"Mom?" Buffy asks, eyes wide.

"Oh, baby, You're really here." Joyce says, coming closer.

"Dad?" Buffy asks, looking at Hank.

"She's lucid. Keep talking. Maybe the sound of your voice will ground her." The doctor instructs.

"Sweetheart. We've missed you very much." Hank says. Buffy is a mess- doesn't know what to think. She rolls her head to the side. "Honey, can you hear me?" Hank asks. Tears roll out of Buffy's eyes- she crouches forward again, her head in her hands. As Joyce peaks in the background. "Oh, Buffy, stay with us, please."

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The Cemetery.

Buffy is sitting on the tombstone, her head in her hands. She looks up to see Willow and Xander by her- Spike has just gotten up from being hit.

"Here, let's get her back to my crypt." Spike suggests, coming forward to help.

"Spike, just-" Xander starts, angrily, then calmer, "G-go, okay? She's our friend. We'll take care of her."

Buffy is still dazed- but protests as she stands. "No, guys, I'm okay. I'm okay." Willow and Xander take her arms.

"Come on, Xander. Help me get her home." Willow says- and she and Xander lead Buffy away.

Spike stands back- watching them leave. Then says after them, "Put a little ice on the back of her neck." He picks up his grocery bag, says- quieter, to himself. "She likes that."

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The Living Room- Summers House.

Willow brings Buffy a glass of water as Buffy explains that the hallucinations have been occurring since two nights before. Dawn sits beside Xander and Willow on the couch, while Buffy sits in a chair.

"Uh, night before last. I was checking houses on that list you gave me and looking for Warren and his pals, and then, bam! Some kind of gross, waxy demon-thing poked me." Buffy explains

"And when you say poke-" Xander gestures with his fingers.

"In the arm." Buffy glares at him half-heartedly. "It stung me or something, and... then I was like-- no. it wasn't 'like'. I was in an institution. There were, um, doctors and... nurses and other patients. They--they told me that I was sick, I guess crazy, and that, um, Sunnydale and all of this, it-- none of it was real." Through her explanation Xander, Willow, and Dawn look at each other, worried.

"Oh, come on. That's ridiculous." Xander starts, half-serious. "What? you think this isn't real just because of all the vampires and demons and ex-vengeance demons and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy?" Willow eyes him somewhat nervously.

"I know how this must sound, but it felt so real." Buffy says quietly, pausing. "Mom was there."

Dawn looks up, a bit disturbed. "She was?"

"Dad, too. They were together... like they used to be... before Sunnydale." Buffy looks thoughtful and sad.

Willow is wired and scared. She's a bit manic. "Okay, all in favour of research?" She stands, raising her had. Xander looks up at her soberly- raises his hand. Dawn just sits thinking- holding Xander's arm for support. "Motion passed." Willow continues with false cheer. "All right, Xander, you hit the demon bars. Dig up any info on a new player in town. Dawny, you can help me research. We'll hop on-line, see if there's any-"

As Willow is speaking, Buffy closes her eyes- she only half hears Willow. She grimaces-

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The Hospital- An Office.

Buffy is sitting in the same position she'd been in the Living Room. The doctor sits at a desk. Joyce and Hank sit in chairs beside Buffy- facing the doctor.

The doctor is in mid-sentence. "-possibilities for a full recovery, but we have to proceed cautiously. If we're not careful-"

Joyce interrupts him. "Wait. are you saying that Buffy could be like she was before any of this happened?"

The doctor gets up, crosses over to the parents and leans down. "Mrs. Summers, you have to understand the severity of what's happened to your daughter. For the last six years, she's been in a, undifferentiated type of schizophrenia." He sits back on his desk.

"We know what her condition is. That's not what we're asking." Hank says.

"Buffy's delusions are multi-layered." The doctor explains, "She believes she's some type of hero."

"The Slayer." Joyce says.

"The Slayer, right." the doctor continues, "But that's only one level. She's also created an intricate latticework to support her primary delusion. In her mind, she's the central figure in a fantastic world beyond imagination. She's surrounded herself with friends, most with their own superpowers, who are as real to her as you or me... More so, unfortunately. Together they face grand overblown conflicts against an assortment of monsters both imaginary and rooted in actual myth. Every time we think we're getting through to her, more fanciful enemies magically appear, and she's-"

Buffy interrupts, "Warren and Jonathan-- they did this to me."

She starts to get up- and is stopped by the doctor. "Buffy, it's all right. They can't hurt you here. You're with your family." He sets her back in the chair.

"Dawn?" Buffy says mournfully- tearing up.

"That's the sister, right?" Hank asks.

"A magical key. Buffy inserted Dawn into her delusion, actually rewriting the entire history of it to accommodate a need for a familial bond." He pauses, Buffy is clutching at her hair. He leans close to her. "Buffy- But that created inconsistencies, didn't it? Your sister. Your friends. All of those people you created in Sunnydale, they aren't as comforting as they once were- are they? They're coming apart."

"Buffy, listen to what the doctor's saying. it's important." Joyce tells her.

"Buffy, you used to create these grand villains to battle against, and now what is it? Just ordinary students you went to high school with. No gods or monsters. Just three pathetic little men... who like playing with toys." The doctor says.

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The Troika's Lair.

Andrew and Warren come down into the basement with boxes. Jonathan watches them arrive. He's on edge and very unhappy.

"Dude, that poison has got her drooling like a-" Warren says.

Jonathan walks up to him as he comes down the stairs. "Where have you guys been?"

Warren looks back at Andrew. "Uh...picking up some stuff."

"And checking out Buffy on the van's remote surveillance." Andrew mutters- looking at Jonathan warily.

"Andrew's demon pet has done some number on the Slayer. Got her tripping like a Ken Russell film festival." Warren explains, putting the boxes down.

Warren asks what's in the boxes- he doesn't seem to be particularly interested in the guy's surveillance of Buffy. He's more interested in the stuff the guys have brought. But Warren won't fill him in. Warren says that Jonathan is acting too freaky- and that Jonathan will remain in the dark until he stops being so paranoid. Warren points out a diagram of a vault to Andrew- and Jonathan makes a beeline to the stairs. Warren stops him. Apparently Jonathan isn't allowed to leave. Warren justifies this, by saying that its not safe- the Slayer is still out there. Warren appeals to Jonathan's sense that the three of them are a team-

"Well, it's-- it's just not safe out there...alone." Warren explains, holding Jonathan a little close- his arm around Jonathan's shoulder. "You saw how close the Slayer got. Look, we're--we're a team. something happens to you, it happens to all of us. Right? Look, I know-- I know you're antsy. We all are, but you see, things-- they're about to pick up... Big--big time. Just gotta be careful right now, all right? Stick together. okay?"

Jonathan gives in, but the Troika is broken- their faces just show the tension they're operating under. There really is no team anymore- and Jonathan is scared.

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The Living Room- Summers Home.

Buffy sits on the couch staring at an old photograph. Its of Joyce, Hank, and herself (the little girl form WOTW).

Willow comes in, happily, she's got a picture of a demon. "Look, Buffy. I found the demon. Fits your description and symptoms perfectly. Look, is this it?" Buffy nods- she's not really paying attention. "See? it's gonna be okay. Its pokey stinger carries an antidote to its own poison."

Buffy just continues to stare at the picture in her lap. "I feel so lost." She says softly.

"I know. you're confused. it's that crazy juice inside you." Willow says, concern on her face.

"it's more than that." Buffy murmurs. "Even before the demon... I've been so detached."

"We've all been kind of slumming." Willow says, looking a bit ashamed.

"Every day I try to snap out of it, figure out why I'm like that." Buffy continues, not really hearing Willow.

"Buffy." Willow says forcefully. "Look at me. You are not in an institution. You have never been in an institution."

"Yes, I have." Buffy says softly- her voice catches. Tears line her eyes.

"What?" Willow shows her shock- she goes still.

"Back when I saw my first vampires-" Buffy explains, "I got so scared. I told my parents, and they completely freaked out. They thought there was something seriously wrong with me. So they sent me to a clinic."

"You never said anything." Willow says quietly.

"I was only there a couple of weeks. I stopped talking about it, and they let me go. Eventually, my parents just forgot." Buffy stares at nothing- her eyes are distant. Tears drop from her eyes.

"God. that's horrible." Willow says, her own voice catching.

"What if I'm still there?" Buffy squeaks, "What if I never left that clinic?" Willow tries to reason with Buffy, distress all over her face. Buffy continues to cry. "Buffy. Buffy- you're not. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but it's the past. You've got to trust me. We're gonna get you that antidote. Xander's hunting the demon right now."

"Alone?" Buffy breathes- realising, "Willow, he can't. It's too strong."

"It's okay. We got help." Willow responds.

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The Woods.

Xander and Spike are walking through the trees. Xander carries a flashlight.

"So, she's having The Wiggings, is she?" Spike says- more talking to himself, then to Xander, "Thinks none of us are real. Bloody self-centred, if you ask me."

Xander isn't really interested in listening. "Spike, we need muscle, not colour commentary."

"On the other hand, it might explain some things-- this all being in that twisted brain of hers. Yeah. Thinks up some chip in my head. Make me soft, fall in love with her, then turn me into her soddin' sex slave-"

"What?" Xander caught that bit- he looks at Spike. They continue walking.

"Nothing." Spike dismisses the comment- and Xander, then continues, "Alternative realities- where we're all little figments of Buffy's funny-farm delusion. You know, in a different reality, you might not have left your bride at the altar. You might have gone through with it like a man." Spike smiles- purses his lips.

"Okay, one more syllable about Anya-" Xander is cut off as the demon they're looking for jumps into the path. Both Spike and Xander jump.

"Oh, balls." Spike looks peeved. "You didn't say he was a Glarghk Guhl Kashma'nik." (Ok- say that three times fast.)

"'Cause I can't say glar-" Xander is cut off as the demon jumps up and punches him- knocking Xander to his back.

Spike gets in a few good punches as Xander recovers- and shoots the demon with a tranquilizer dart. Spike gets knocked down and Xander fights for a bit- fairly well, actually- until he gets knocked down again- then pops the demon with another dart as Spike takes the demon down.

"I altered his reality." Xander says, smirking- then looks to Spike- who ignores him. "Get it? I-" Xander realises he's trying to be buddy-buddy with Spike. "Never mind."

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Buffy's Bedroom.

Buffy is sitting on her bed- staring into space. Dawn enters carrying a mug. "I made you some tea." She offers- then sits on the end of the bed.

"Thanks. I'm okay, Dawn." Buffy says- not looking at Dawn.

"The thousand-yard stare really helps sell that." Dawn looks Buffy over- touches Buffy's face. "You're burning up."

Buffy finally looks at Dawn. "I should be taller than you." She says.

Dawn smiles. "Maybe you're not done growing."

Buffy looks down, murmurs, "Coming apart."

"What's coming apart?" Dawn asks.

"We have to try harder, make things better." Buffy shakes her head, concentrating.

"I'm trying." Dawn says softly, a bit piqued.

"Your grades. Stealing." Buffy looks hard at Dawn. "Willow's been doing your chores, hasn't she?"

"What? No, it's--it's the fever. It's cooking your brain." Dawn tries to cover a bit.

Buffy reaches forward, grabs Dawn's arm. "We have to deal with these things, Dawn, we-"

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The Hospital.

"You don't have a sister, Buffy." Joyce sits on Buffy's bed in the hospital. Hank sits in a chair nearby.

Buffy is ragged, looks at Joyce. "Dawn?"

"No, honey. Say it. it'll help you believe it." Joyce insists.

"I...don't... have a sister. I know- I didn't grow up with her. These monks, they made her." Buffy explains. Joyce's eyes go wider- she looks to Hank.

"it's your mind just playing tricks on you." Hank says,

"You're our little girl, Buffy," Joyce says, "Our one and only. We've missed you so much. Mom and Dad just want to take you home and take care of you." She reaches over and brushes Buffy's hair with her hand. Buffy looks at the hand- reaches out to touch her mother-

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Buffy' s Bedroom.

Buffy is touching Dawn's hair. Dawn is near tears. Buffy realises what she is doing- that Dawn is not her mother- and moves her hand away like its been burned. She closes her eyes.

"I'm not even there, am I?" Dawn asks, tears start to flow down her cheeks.

"What?" Buffy gasps, shaking her head.

"You said it a second ago. You don't have a sister." Dawn says bitterly. "It's your ideal reality, and I'm not even a part of it." Dawn gets up and walks out of the room.

Buffy clasps her head in her hands. "Dawn, I-- I didn't mean-"

Dawn turns away. "I have to go finish my chores."

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Spike and Xander grapple with the demon in the basement. They've got it in chains and are trying to secure the thing to a support beam. Xander gets a bit banged up. Willow asks them to hold it- she's wearing rubber kitchen gloves. Willow stabs the demon in the arm with a barbeque fork as Spike and Xander hold it- making the demon pop out the skewer. Willow breaks the skewer off - puts it into a jar. She then sends Xander to the Magic Box for some herbs- and reassures him that its for medicinal- not magic properties. Willow heads for the Campus Lab. Spike stays to keep an eye on the demon.

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Buffy's Bedroom.

"Buffy? Wake up." Willow holds a mug, offers it to Buffy. "Got yummy antidote goodness for you."

Buffy wasn't asleep- just staring off into space again. She shakes her head. "What happened?"

Willow passes the mug to Buffy. "it took a little longer than I'd hoped, no magic and all. Went boom twice, but then I got it." She smiles a bit. "Just, when it's cool, drink it all down, and everything should go back to normal."

Buffy looks up at Willow- wonderingly. "You never stop coming thorough. Thank you, Willow."

Spike appears at the door- he's concerned. "How is she?"

Willow makes for the exit- "Make sure she drinks all that." She says to Spike. "I'm gonna let Dawn know that everything's gonna be okay." She grins a bit, then goes out.

Spike watches as Willow goes- he works his jaw a bit. "You were right." He says quietly.

Buffy looks up, closes her eyes a bit- like she has a headache. "You need to leave me alone." She says, "You're not part of my life."

Spike sets his jaw- nods. "Fine, then. You know, but I hope you don't think this ant-" He stops. Pulls back- but then he goes for what he was going to say anyway- starts again. "I hope you don't think this antidote's gonna rid you of that nasty martyrdom. See, I figured it out, love. You can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark like I thought. You're addicted to the misery. It's why you won't tell your pals about us. Might actually have to be happy if you did. They'd either understand and help you- God forbid- or drive you out where you can finally be at peace in the dark- with me. Either way, you'd be better off for it, but you're too twisted for that." Spike pauses, "Let yourself live already, and stop with the bloody hero trip for a sec. We'd all be the better for it." He looks at her- very direct. "You either tell your friends about us, or I will." He turns slowly, and walks away.

Through his speech, Spike seems to look at Buffy admiringly- but he's frustrated and fed up- and he has given her notice.

Buffy looks at his back as Spike goes- then closes her eyes tightly. She looks at the mug in her hand and starts to bring it to her mouth- she pauses, looks up, thinking. Then slowly moves the mug over to the bedside- and dumps it into the wastebasket. Her eyes go wide.

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The Hospital.

Buffy sits on her bed in the hospital. The doctor says her name.

Buffy looks up. "I don't wanna go back there. I wanna be healthy again. What do I have to do? Oh, please, help me. I--I wanna go home with you and Dad."

"I know, Buffy. But first you've gotta get better." Joyce looks at Buffy, Hank is at Joyce's shoulder.

"it's not gonna be easy, Buffy." The doctor says, "You have to take it one step at a time. You have to start ridding your mind of those things that support your hallucinations. You understand? There are things in that world that you cling to. For your delusion, they're safe holds, but for your mind they're traps. We have to break those down."

"Slaying?" Buffy asks.

"Yes, but I'm talking about those things you want there." The doctor says, "What keeps you going back?"

"My friends." Buffy says slowly.

The doctor smiles, "That's right. Last summer, when you had a momentary awakening, it was them that pulled you back in."

"They're not really your friends, Buffy." Joyce says, "They're just tricks keeping you from getting healthy."

"You have to do whatever it takes to convince yourself of that, Buffy." The doctor tells her, "Whatever it takes."

Buffy looks down, her eyes widen.

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The Dining Room, Summers House.

Buffy comes into the dining room, startling Willow. "Oh, Buffy, I didn't see you. I was just coming to check on you. You feeling better? Did the antidote work?"

"I'm still pretty dazed, but, uh, better." Buffy says haltingly- she stares at Willow's face.

"No more cuckoo's nest?" Willow smiles, and Buffy shakes her head- still staring at Willow. "Well, we still have the big bad all tranqued out down in the basement in case didn't work, and we need more parts. It'll be nice to see you all better."

Buffy doesn't smile- her face is reserved. "Thanks."

"I can make you some food, something big with energy, help you clear your noggin. Come on." Willow is in fix-it mode, draws Buffy into the kitchen.

__

Xander knocks on the front door- then walks in when he doesn't get an answer. "Hello! I'm back! Clean and with the better smell now. Friends? Romans? Anyone?!" He walks through the house to the kitchen- where Buffy stands near the sink. "Hey, there, sane girl. So did Willow get that antidote to you all right?"

"Yeah. I'm better now." Buffy says shortly- stares at Xander. She's holding a frying pan in the sink.

Xander starts to talk- gets on a roll as Buffy continues to stare at him. "Great. so, it's settled. We're, uh, we're real, right? Guess we should finish off that demon and drag it out of the basement. And tell me you're up for that. I so don't wanna see Spike right now. I mean, talk about losing touch. Hate to say it, but I almost... feel sorry for the guy. Almost. The things that poor guy was saying-- I mean, I get it, you know. Been a part of the Buffy obsess-"

Buffy smacks Xander in the face with the frying pan. Her eyes are cold. Xander doesn't go down- and Buffy fights him- knocking him near-unconscious. She drags him down the basement stairs- where he joins Willow- who is tied and gagged with duct tape- on the floor.

Buffy stands over the two bodies and gazes at them - then stares at the demon tied to the post. She looks determined and a bit freaky.

Buffy goes up the basement stairs- and locks the basement door. She walks to the bottom of the main stairway and calls for Dawn- then goes up the stairs to Dawn's room.

Dawn is busy packing some things in a bag. "Don't you knock?" She says, a bit taken by surprise.

"I called for you." Buffy says woodenly- she continues to stare at Dawn.

Dawn looks at Buffy, sees that something isn't right. "Buffy, are you okay?"

"Where are you going?" Buffy asks, ignoring the question.

"I'm going over to Janice's, where they actually like having me around." Dawn replies in a huff.

"You're not going anywhere." Buffy says shortly.

"Why not?" Dawn asks irritably. "You want me gone, anyway. What do you care?"

"I care. You're going downstairs with the others. It's the only way I can get healthy." Buffy walks up to Dawn slowly, her shoulders square- but the resolve isn't so much in her eyes anymore.

"What are you talking about?" Dawn says, eyeing Buffy. "Buffy, you look sick. What are you doing? What's wrong with you?" Dawn asks as Buffy suddenly grabs at her. Dawn runs out of the room, screeching.

"You can't hide, Dawn." Buffy says, following.

Dawn has gone into another room- shuts the door. "Talk to me. You're hallucinating."

Buffy pauses, regains her resolve. "I know. You're just a trap for my mind." She kicks the door down- but Dawn isn't there- Buffy turns to see her at the end of the hall.

"Buffy, please, listen to me." Dawn says, backing up slowly. "That asylum and those people, they're not real! Buffy, look at me. I'm right here. You're my sister. I need you and love you. Somewhere inside you must know that's real."

Buffy blinks, walks forward slowly. "Sure it is. 'cause what's more real? A sick girl in an institution..."

"Don't. please. listen to me." Dawn pleads.

"-or some kind of Supergirl-" Buffy is convincing herself- not really listening to Dawn. "- chosen to fight demons and save the world? That's ridiculous." Buffy smiles slightly. Dawn closes the door, but Buffy kicks it down again. "A girl who sleeps with the vampire she hates?! Yeah, that makes sense."

Buffy runs after Dawn- and rolls over the bed to catch Dawn- Buffy holds Dawn down on the floor- her face cold and unyielding as Dawn pleads with her.

Buffy takes Dawn downstairs, throws her to the floor and duct tapes Dawn's mouth.

Buffy stands looking at the three prone figures- and then at the demon. She closes her eyes-

__

The Hospital.

"It's okay, Buffy. don't stress yourself." The doctor reassures Buffy.

Joyce stands with Hank and the doctor. "Honey, take your time. Make it as easy on yourself as possible. There's nothing wrong with that. Buffy..."

__

The Basement

Buffy walks over to the demon as she looks down at Willow, Dawn, and Xander. Her eyes are cold.

Xander is still dazed- his hands are tied to a support beam. He watches Buffy. "What are you doing?" Then, as Buffy unchains the demon- "Oh, my god."

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Commercial

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The demon stalks toward Xander. Buffy watches- her impassivity turning to conflicted emotion. "Buffy, help me!" Xander shouts, levering himself up to a standing position. "I need my hands!" Xander kicks at the demon.

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Upstairs.

Tara opens the front door- peering around the foyer. She calls out hello- and asks if anyone is home.

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The Basement

Xander is fighting the demon using only his legs. Buffy backs into the area under the basement stairs.

The demon wrenches Xander free from the ropes tying him to the support beam and tosses him across the basement.

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The Hospital.

Joyce calls Buffy's name- and Buffy jumps form the bed. She cowers in the corner of her room, whimpering.

"it's gonna be okay, Sweetheart. Whatever it is, it's not real, remember? Just keep concentrating. I'm right here, Sweetie." Joyce soothes, moving to Buffy.

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The Basement.

Buffy cowers in the corner of the basement under the stairwell. Xander calls for her to help him- as the demon beats him.

Tara is at the steps- she calls to Willow, then seeing her on the floor casts a spell- "Eximete! Wis zenobiare solvere!" The bonds on both girls burst open- and a cabinet flies from the wall to hit the demon.

Buffy, under the stairwell, grabs at Tara's feet- and Tara plunges down the steps. Buffy's eyes widen with shock at what she'd just done. Willow runs to Tara. Buffy collapses in a heap-

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The Hospital

Buffy collapses on the floor. She mumbles. "I don't know..."

Joyce is beside her. "Buffy, look at me. I believe in you. You're a survivor. You can do this."

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The Basement

Buffy is on the floor- she hits her head against the wall- then shakes it.

Xander prevents the demon form getting to Dawn- but is thrown again. The demon throws Dawn- and Willow grabs a baseball bat- beat the demon with it. The demon throws Willow.

Buffy calls out to them-

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The Hospital.

Buffy calls out to them- She bangs her head against the wall continuously as Joyce pleads with her. "Buffy? Buffy! Buffy, fight it. You're too good to give in. You can beat this thing. Be strong, baby, okay? I know you're afraid. I know the world feels like a hard place sometimes, but you've got people who love you. your Dad and I, we have all the faith in the world in you. We'll always be with you. You've got a world of strength in your heart. I know you do. You just have to find it again. Believe in yourself."

Through her mother's speech, Buffy's face is registering what Joyce is saying- she's thinking and making a decision. Buffy's face grows resolved again- but it's different- she's more peaceful. "You're right." Buffy says, smiling softly. "Thank you." Then, shakily, and very sadly, Buffy looks at her mother- "Good-bye."

Joyce's face breaks from hope to sorrow as she realises that Buffy is not staying- she calls her name-

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The Basement

Dawn screams. Buffy stands up from under the stairwell- her reluctance and confusion are gone. She fights the demon, taking it down (Adam-style) with a fist to its stomach.

The Scoobies gather themselves up- looking at Buffy with confusion and horror.

I'm so sorry." Buffy breathes.

The group try to get Buffy to sit, but she refuses- she won't sit until she has the antidote.

"We'll make more- we'll take care of it" Willow assures her.

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The Hospital.

The doctor shines a light into Buffy's eyes- she's Leaning against the wall- her eyes vacant. "I'm sorry. There's no reaction at all. I'm afraid we've lost her."

Joyce cries in the background.

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The End.

**

-Cath

CathJoudrey@hfx.eastlink.ca

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