Selfless

We hear Spike before we see him.

"I can't trust what I see," he says. He's is in the basement, sitting on the floor between a box and something that looks like shelving. Black shirt, BHOR, but he seems quite rational. He's talking to Buffy, who's looking at him with concern. She's wearing a white top with little fluttery cap sleeves and tiny lace around the deep v-neck.

"Don't know how to explain it, exactly," he goes on. He's calm, together. "Like I been seeing things." There is a moment of silence; Buffy doesn't seem to know what to say. "Dru used to see things, you know." He smiles at her, a little diffident. "She used to look up at the sky and see cherubs burning. Or the sky bleeding, or some nonsense." He looks down. "I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely sack of hammers. But she'd see the sky when we were inside. It'd make her so happy... She'd see showers; she'd see stars..." As ever, memories of Dru are good ones. But...

"Now I see her."

"Spike..."

"I'm in trouble, Buffy." He doesn't look at her when he says it.

"I can help."

He looks at her, surprised. Not expecting the offer. He clearly wants her help, but...

"I could never ask. Not after... "

"It's different. You're different."

"I couldn't ask."

Spike," she says, tenderly, "this is me. This is you, and this is me, and we'll get through this."

He looks up at her. "Never," he says, firmly. It would sully her, and he won't have that. He brings his arm up over his head, trying to hide his face.

She reaches out to touch his face, gently, lovingly. "We'll get through this." There is compassion and deep caring in her voice.

Pull back to the door.

Buffy, wearing a black, sleeveless top, walks in.

"Spike," she says, "This basement is killing you." She's cold, arms crossed over her chest, plainly doesn't want to be there, but feels obligated.

He's sitting with one arm over his head, his other arm around his knees, holding them to his chest. He's hiding. When he hears her voice, he looks up, his eyes wide. For a second he's confused, but then he gets it. The Buffy he was just talking to wasn't real.

"This is the Hellmouth," she says, "there's something bad down here. Possibly everything bad."

He starts laughing. It quickly turns into that mad giggle. "Can't hear you, can't hear you," he chants, hiding his face again. This pisses Buffy off.

"You have a soul?" she snaps, "Fine--show me."

"Scream 'Montresor' all you like, Pet," he says, giving her a sidelong glance.

"Get up and get out of this basement." Underneath the hard words is an even harder current of "or I'll make you."

He looks up at her, his face wet with tears. "I don't have anywhere else to go," he says.

--

Dori

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