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RECAP: (SKIP RECAP...)
ANGEL (V.0.)
Previously on Angel...1 EXT. RANDOM LOS ANGELES ALLEY - NIGHT
Angel rushes to the rescue of a young blonde woman in a dark alley being attacked by a vampire. The vampire falls to the ground again. Angel pulls a stake out of his belt, twirls it like an old gunfighter might, and lunges it dramatically into the vampire's chest. The vampire disappears in a cloud of smoke.GIRL
(to Angel)
Who are you?Cars screech. A group of armed men dressed completely in black gather suddenly at the end of the alley, pointing guns in Angel's direction. Several cars pull up to the end of the alley, all with their headlights pointing at Angel. Several people get out and walk toward him. Angel seems confused.
NOTARY
(holding a contract, speaks to the girl)
This is to confirm that you have been rescued by Angel, C.E.O. and President of Wolfram & Hart...GIRL
(to Angel) You run a law firm?ANGEL
(innocently) Well, just lately.Angel looks around at the array of dozens of people in utter disbelief.
Cut to:
2 INT. LOBBY OF WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Wesley walks up to the elevators from the lobby, holding a coffee mug, as Fred steps off the elevator carrying a box of her belongings.WESLEY
Why on earth are we here?FRED
What? Because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its L.A. Branch to run however we want?Angel starts walking across the lobby, flanked by Gunn and Wesley.
ANGEL
(buttons his jacket)
We're turning this place inside out.The focus moves to Lorne, who's walking through the lobby, talking on a cell phone, accompanied by a man holding three binders.
LORNE
Yes, it's perfect. It's the project you've been waiting for. Yeah, it's "Joanie Loves Chachi" meets "The Sorrow and the Pity."Cut to:
3 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Angel is going through papers on his desk. Angel's secretary brings him a mug and places it on his desk in front of him.ANGEL
(sips from his mug, then looks up at his secretary)
Harmony.HARMONY
Hey! Boss.ANGEL
You're my secretary?Cut to:
4 INT. LOBBY OF WOLFRAM & HART - DAY
Fred's talking to Wesley.FRED
Have you seen my lab? It's giganamous. And I'm in charge.Cut to:
5 INT. GUNN'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Gunn walks back to his office to grab his jacket. Someone speaks to him from the corner.EVE
I'm just wondering if you're ready for the next step.GUNN
You don't know me or you wouldn't ask that question.Eve hands Gunn a business card.
Cut to:
6 INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Tubes are attached to Gunn's head via some contraption from the strange doctor's office. Gunn's grunting and gasping and breathing hard.Cut to:
7 INT. COURTHOUSE - DAY
Someone in a fancy suit and expensive shoes walks through the lobby carrying an alligator-hide briefcase. As he enters the room, pan up to show it's Gunn in a pin-striped suit with a silk tie, all decked out.EVE (V.O.)
Charles agreed to let us enhance his mind with a comprehensive knowledge of the law.Cut to:
8 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Angel is talking to the gang in his office.ANGEL
(rubbing his chin)
Yes, we are. We're gonna change things. We came to Wolfram and Hart because it's a powerful weapon.
(picks up the envelope from his desk, rips open the envelope)
We'll deal...
(an amulet falls out of the envelope)
with whatever comes next.Immediately, the amulet activates. A black whirlwind erupts from it, causing papers on Angel's desk to stir. The ashen whirlwind starts to glow with flecks of orange as something begins to materialize inside it. A man's skeletal form shows, then it gradually fills out until it's complete. The wind fades and Spike is standing there, screaming and grunting, in the middle of the office, right where the amulet fell.
SPIKE
Aah!
(doubles over in pain, panting, glaring ferociously)WESLEY
(softly)
Spike?ANGEL
(angrily)
Spike.Fade to black.
PROLOGUE:
9 INT. SUNNYDALE HELLMOUTH - DAY
TITLE:Sunnydale, California
The Hellmouth
Nineteen Days EarlierBuffy and Spike are the only ones left in the hellmouth. Spike is still glowing from the amulet, sending rays of light out into the hellmouth, dusting the prehistoric vampires within. Buffy stands in front of him, staring, still holding her scythe.
SPIKE
Go on, then.BUFFY
No. No, you've done enough. You could still—SPIKE
No, you've beat them back. It's for me to do the cleanup.The walls are crumbling around them.
BUFFY
(worried)
Spike!SPIKE
I mean it! I gotta do this.
(holds out his hand to stop her)Buffy laces her fingers through Spike's.
SPIKE
(another earthquake; Buffy lets go of his hand)
Now go!
(Buffy runs up the stairs)
I wanna see how it ends.Spike stands in the crumbling hellmouth with light shining down on him from above, grinning from ear to ear and laughing as he burns up from the sunlight. He dusts slowly—first his skin singes, then his muscles, then his bones—then he's gone. The hellmouth crumbles in around him.
Cut to:
10 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Spike doubles over in pain, gasping, as he materializes in Angel's office at Wolfram & Hart. He looks around him, panic-stricken, at the unfamiliar faces. He sees Harmony, Lorne, Fred, Wesley.SPIKE
(confused)
What...what...HARMONY
(hands on her hips)
What the hell are you doing here, Spike?WESLEY
Harmony, please.GUNN
(sneering)
This is Spike? The Spike?FRED
Wait a minute. Who's—LORNE
(calmly, to Spike)
Easy, slim. Easy. No one's gonna hurt you.GUNN
Speak for yourself, green jeans.FRED
OK, would somebody please tell me who—WESLEY
William the Bloody. He's a vampire. One of the worst recorded. Second only to—ANGEL
Me.
(an angry Spike turns to face Angel)
But you're dead.HARMONY
(gesturing widely, rolling her eyes knowingly)
Well, yeah. Who here isn't?
(looks around)
Besides him (to Wes) and him (to Gunn) and her (to Fred) and...
(to Lorne) What are you again?Spike, still staring at Angel, transforms into vampire facade and lunges angrily at Angel, snarling fiercely. Angel braces for impact, but Spike goes right through him. Spike stops, turns around, looks down at his body—his legs have disappeared inside Angel's desk.
SPIKE
(looks up and frowns)
Bugger.Fade to black.
Opening credits.
ACT I:
11 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Resume. The gang has just discovered Spike's not corporeal.SPIKE
(looks down at his body in the desk)
What? What's happened to me?HARMONY
Well, I'm no doctor, but I think you're a ghost.SPIKE
(points at her)
I'm no—I'm no bloody ghost.HARMONY
Hey, you're the one sticking out of a desk, pal.
(angrily)
And you can't talk to me like that. We're not going out anymore.GUNN
Where'd he come from?WESLEY
(picks up the amulet from the floor)
From this.FRED
What is it?ANGEL
Something I gave to Buffy before—SPIKE
Buffy! Is she—ANGEL
She's OK.SPIKE
Where—where is she?ANGEL
Europe, last I heard from her.SPIKE
Wanna see her... Wanna talk to her.ANGEL
That's gonna be tough.SPIKE
(scoffs)
You can't keep her from me.ANGEL
She's not mine to keep... or yours.SPIKE
Says you. You got no idea what we had.ANGEL
You never had her.SPIKE
(in Angel's face)
More than you, you poncy—HARMONY
Oh...my...God! You and the slayer actually... I mean, I know you had that twisted obsession with her, but...yecch. That's just... yecch.
(walks away, stops)
I... yecch!
(leaves)SPIKE
I must be in hell.LORNE
Uh, no. L.A., but a lot of people make that mistake.FRED
(to Wes and Gunn)
So Spike and Buffy are—WESLEY
He was, um, an ally of hers for some time, at least that's what Angel told me. That's all Angel told me.GUNN
So he's a good-guy vampire like Angel?ANGEL
He's nothing like me.SPIKE
Got that right. What have you done to me?
(looks around the office)
What is this place?!
(to Fred, Gunn and Wes) Who are you people? What the bloody hell is happening?!Cut to:
12 INT. SCIENCE LAB - DAY
The gang has moved on to the science lab. Wesley is looking into a microscope while Fred scans Spike with a beeping instrument.LORNE
(to Wes) Honey of a story.WESLEY
Story?LORNE
Yeah, the vampire slayer both men loved, both men lost. Oh, I could sell that to any studio in a heartbeat. I see Depp and Bloom. But then I see them a lot. Sorry. Hazard of running the entertainment division. Gotta get out more.SPIKE
(to Fred) So what are you then? Scanner girl?FRED
(scanning Spike)
I'm Fred. I head up Wolfram & Hart's Science Department.SPIKE
Wolfram & Hart. Heard of that. Thought it was a law firm.FRED
It is, among other things.SPIKE
Also heard they represent the worst evil in the universe.ANGEL
It did, among other things, but now I'm in charge.SPIKE
Are you now?FRED
Weird.
(picks up a folder)
I'm getting electromagnetic readings consistent with spiritual entities, but there's no ectoplasmic matrix.GUNN
Meaning?FRED
Ectoplasm's what makes ghosts visible to the human eye. If he's a ghost, technically we shouldn't be able to see him.
(writes in the folder)
And I'm detecting brainwave activity.ANGEL
On Spike?
(chuckles)
That is weird.FRED
Also, ghosts generally absorb light and heat energy making the area around them a few degrees cooler. Spike's radiating heat.SPIKE
(smirks)
Think I'm hot, do you?FRED
Mm...lukewarm. Just above room temperature.SPIKE
Well, what the hell am I then?WESLEY
Whatever he is, it's clearly tied to this amulet. Spike's essence, for lack of a better term, must have been held within it.
(to Spike) Do you have any memory of a strange sensation when it released its energy?SPIKE
What? You mean my skin and muscle burning away from the bone? Organs exploding in my chest? Eyeballs melting in their sockets? No. No memory at all. Thanks for asking.ANGEL
OK, he's connected to the amulet. Last I heard it was buried deep inside of the hellmouth. How did it end up here?FRED
Maybe he's here for a reason. You know, some higher purpose or something he's destined for. Sent to us by the powers that be to help us or—SPIKE
Who gave them the bloody right to do that?
(scoffs, paces)
Can't a man die in peace without some high almighty deciding it's not his time. Let's have a little more fun with him, eh? You think that saving the sodding world would be enough to earn me a rest. You'd think—Spike starts to fade before their eyes.
FRED
Spike?SPIKE
Hmm?
(looks at his body)
Oh, balls.
(disappears)Fred goes over to scan where Spike was standing.
GUNN
Now what?FRED
I don't know. He just...
(looks at Angel) What did he mean, "saving the world"?ANGEL
Oh, that—well—Buffy did most of the work. Well, he helped, but—SPIKE
(rematerializes)
Hmm? What? What?LORNE
Took the "what's" right out of our mouths.GUNN
Where'd you go?FRED
Don't you know?SPIKE
I'm—I was...
(to Angel) You! This is your fault.ANGEL
Mine?SPIKE
You brought that bloody amulet to Sunnydale. You would have been the one to use it, until you
chickened out.ANGEL
What did you—SPIKE
(incensed)
You heard me! You left town in the nick of time, didn't you, before the death and mayhem? Abandoned the woman you claimed to love.ANGEL
She made the call. Wasn't my choice.SPIKE
And this, bloody hell, wasn't mine. I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by—FRED
E-excuse me?WESLEY
Did—did you just say— Spike has a soul?
(to Angel) You never said.ANGEL
Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.GUNN
(frowns)
Seems to be a lot of that.SPIKE
Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club—another vampire with a soul in the world.ANGEL
(in Spike's face)
You're not in the world...Casper.
(walks away)Cut to:
13 INT. LOBBY - DAY
Angel walks down the hall toward the lobby, and Spike materializes behind him.SPIKE
Running away again.
(Angel rolls his eyes and continues walking)
Nice new M.O. I can see why heroes like you get rewarded with the shiny new glass and chrome. Why didn't I think of that?ANGEL
I'm not responsible for what happened to you.
(walks past Harmony's desk)HARMONY
Angel, it's almost three o'clock. You have a meeting scheduled—ANGEL
Not now, Harmony.SPIKE
And here you've even managed to get my ex-tumble, the littlest vampire, fetching coffee for you. Nice perks for the sell-out.ANGEL
Little tip, Spike: Try not to talk about things you don't understand.SPIKE
I'm not the prat here. I know you, Angel. What do you think you're doing? Made some devil's bargain to take over this company. Thought you'd use it to fight the evil of the world from inside the belly of the beast. Trouble is you're too busy fighting to see you and yours are getting digested.ANGEL
(stops in front of the elevators)
Not gonna happen.SPIKE
Oh, you think you're in control here? Guess again, mate. You're no more in control than I am. Except I'm not gonna bloody stand for it, while you're just a blind...
(looks over Angel's shoulder)
Grox'lar Beast.ANGEL
What?Angel turns to see the Grox'lar Beast has just stepped out of the elevators behind him. Angel throws a punch at the demon, but the demon punches him back, knocking him down. Spike throws a punch at the demon's head, but his fist goes right through without making an impact.
SPIKE
Oh, brilliant.The demon goes toward Angel, and they continue fighting hand-to-hand. Angel finally overpowers the demon, throwing him against the wall, and knocking him out.
ANGEL
Somebody want to tell me how a Grox'lar Beast got past security? I don't have time for this.SPIKE
Of course not. Man's gotta stay focused on profit margins and power lunches.HARMONY
Angel—ANGEL
Yeah, Spike? I got a business to run. That means responsibilities, appointments to keep.HARMONY
That was your three o'clock.ANGEL
That...
(Spike laughs at him)
I'm meeting with Grox'lars?! They eat babies!HARMONY
Just their heads. You were supposed to open negotiations with his clan.ANGEL
Negotiations for what?GUNN
(walks up to the scene)
Get 'em to stop eating baby heads.ANGEL
Oh. So that's good. Oh, so this—this is bad.GUNN
No, actually the Grox'lar clan respects someone who takes a strong opening position. Wolfram & Hart didn't just jack me up here with the human laws, also demon laws from every dimension. Probably should have been briefed you about the Grox'lar, but we got a little...
(looks at Spike)
sidetracked. Plus I've been implementing our reforms. Mostly staff overhaul. I've fired 40 employees in the past 2 days.ANGEL
(walks away)
How's that going?GUNN
(follows Angel)
As expected. Anger, tears, venomous death threats.HARMONY
(to Spike) Listen, I know I was a little crabby before. I mean, hello?! A little awkward seeing you at my work. But if you want to talk or something, you know, about us or...
(Spike walks away without acknowledging her)
OK. Too soon. I understand...
(under her breath) Slayer-loving freak.Cut to:
14 INT. GUNNS OFFICE - DAY
Angel and Gunn are talking in his office.GUNN
Caught an associate we laid off trying to smuggle this out of the voodoo division.Gunn holds up a voodoo doll that has black skin and is wearing a suit just like Gunn's.
ANGEL
(takes the doll)
It's a nice likeness.SPIKE
(walks up to the door)
This place just goes on and on, doesn't it? Like a ruddy theme park attraction.ANGEL
I'm in a meeting, Spike.SPIKE
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't care.GUNN
Look, we're ruffling a lot of dangerous feathers out there. There's gonna be a backlash. Count on it.ANGEL
Well, we'll just have to ride out the ripples for a while.GUNN
(looks at the door)
I'm sensing a ripple on its way now.A man wearing a loud blue dress shirt and a spotted yellow tie walks in the room.
NOVAC
Yes, uh...Novac, sir. Uh, what's this about you shutting down the Internment Acquisitions Division?ANGEL
(to Gunn) Internment Acqui—GUNN
Grave-robbing.NOVAC
Listen, I know you fellas are in charge now, and you're doing a bang-up job. I'm with you 110%, but that department brings in mucho revenue to this company.ANGEL
Well, Novac, we'll just have to tighten our belts and do without.NOVAC
No, you're not getting it... sir. I.A.D. is under contract to provide fresh bodies to Magnus Hainsley. You know who he is, right?
(Angel looks at Gunn)
Oy. OK. He's one of our oldest clients. Big potatoes. We stop delivering, and he is not gonna be... thrilled.ANGEL
Then he's probably not gonna like it when you advise him that he's no longer our client.NOVAC
(worried)
Me?ANGEL
(walks toward Novac)
You got it, counselor. You tell Mister—
(clears throat)GUNN
Hainsley.ANGEL
Hainsley that Wolfram & Hart is under new management and out of the grave-robbing business. Now, run along and go argue your case.NOVAC
(unsure)
Me?ANGEL
Go.Novac walks toward the door, shuddering at the thought of his assignment, when Spike addresses him.
SPIKE
You don't have to take that from him, mate.ANGEL
Stay out of this, Spike. You don't work here.SPIKE
Damn right I don't. Look at you. This is what you do now? Delegate the dirty work to spineless, low-level flunkies.
(to Novac) No offense.
(Angel walks back toward Gunn)
The mighty hero reduced to a bloody bureaucrat. If a certain slayer could see you now—ANGEL
Get out of here, Spike.SPIKE
Gladly. Cruel enough punishment being stuck here as a spook while you play "Chairman of the Boring." But hell if I'm gonna spend my afterlife in your stinking city. Get stuffed.Cut to:
15 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Angel's sitting alone in his office staring out the window, when Wesley walks up to the door. Wes starts to walk away, when Angel speaks to him.ANGEL
You don't think he's really gone, do you?WESLEY
That what's on your mind?ANGEL
(stands, walks to sit behind his desk)
Could have been me, Wes. Was supposed to be me.WESLEY
You're not feeling guilty?ANGEL
About Spike?
(chuckles)
He's not—that's not—that's not—
(sighs)
Wolfram & Hart gave me the amulet. They must have expected me to use it. And they had to have known it would've done to me what it did to Spike, so—WESLEY
Why bother handing you the keys to the kingdom?
(sits)ANGEL
Doesn't make sense. What are the senior partners playing at?WESLEY
Maybe there's dissent in their ranks, or maybe there's another player in the game they—and we don't know anything about. Then again, maybe they got exactly what they were after.ANGEL
Spike.WESLEY
He may be the one they—ANGEL
What are you doing here? I thought you left town.SPIKE
(standing in the doorway)
Don't think I didn't bleeding try. Every time I got as far as the city limits I kept popping back here like my insides are getting yanked.WESLEY
Hmm. I suspected as much. The amulet's Wolfram & Hart's property. It's bound to this place, and since Spike's connected to it...SPIKE
Hey! I'm nobody's bloody property, Percy. So what? I'm just stuck here forever?
(to Angel) I bet you're loving this, aren't you?ANGEL
Knowing you'll be haunting me till the end of time?
(smirks)
Hmm. It's a dream come true.HARMONY
(knocks on Angel's door)
Uh, boss? That Novac lawyer you sent over to dump the client... well, he's back.ANGEL
OK, send him in.HARMONY
Mmm, OK.Two men in suits walk into the room carrying three buckets full of a sloppy red liquid, one with a bright yellow spotted tie hanging over the edge, covered in blood.
ANGEL
What is...The men place the buckets on Angel's desk.
SPIKE
(smirks)
Ol' buckets here was right. You guys are doing a bang-up job.Fade to black.
ACT II:
16 INT. LOBBY - NIGHT
Angel walks out to Harmony's desk in the lobby.ANGEL
Harmony, get me Novac's contact list, close relations, next of kin, and let's be discreet about this for the time being, OK?HARMONY
Discreet? Oh, you mean like not tell anyone about bucket-o-lawyer.ANGEL
Harmony, contact list.GUNN
(walks off the elevator, hands a file to Angel)
Hey, got word you wanted the file on Magnus Hainsley. Dig this. He's a sorcerer, big time. Rich with old money and older mojo. Owns a respectable block of shares in Wolfram & Hart and he's connected up the wazoo. Carries influence with power players in the entertainment industry, politics—ANGEL
(flipping through the file)
He's a necromancer.WESLEY
Power over the dead. That explains the bodies Wolfram & Hart's been providing him.17 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Angel walks into his office, followed by Wesley and Gunn.ANGEL
But not what he's been doing with them.
(to Spike) Out of my chair.SPIKE
Make me.GUNN
What's in the buckets?Angel sighs.
SPIKE
Your man Novac. Guess he's been— what do you call it? Downsized.ANGEL
It's a message from Magnus Hainsley, and I'm gonna reply to it personally.WESLEY
You can't take Hainsley on yourself.ANGEL
(walks toward his private elevator)
I'm not gonna risk him turning somebody else into chowder.WESLEY
Angel, you have a multi-billion dollar company at your disposal with armed and trained personnel.ANGEL
They cramp my style.
(walks into his elevator)WESLEY
Your style's not gonna cut it with a necromancer. We should probably avoid an eye-for-an-eye escalation here.ANGEL
Not going for his eyes, Wes.GUNN
I know what you should go for.
(Angel stops the elevator doors before they close)
It'll hurt him. Bad.Cut to:
18 INT. GARAGE - NIGHT
Angel walks out of the elevator into the garage. His cars are lined up along the wall. He walks toward a black Viper, opens the door.SPIKE
(sitting in the passenger seat)
Knew you'd pick the Viper. So bloody predictable.ANGEL
Spike, get out of the car.SPIKE
No.ANGEL
What?SPIKE
This haunting-you-till- the-end-of-time idea of yours is starting to sound appealing. I could drive you completely starkers, right out of your gourd. Yeah, and you wouldn't be able to do a sodding thing about it.
(Angel slams the door and walks over to the next car, a silver Camaro)
(Spike is sitting inside the car in the passenger seat; Angel groans)
Fancy a road trip. This'll be fun, eh? You and me together again. So...where are we off to?ANGEL
To see the wizard.
(starts the car and drives away)Cut to:
19 INT. HAINSLEY'S FOYER - NIGHT
The butler lets Spike and Angel inside Hainsley's house.BUTLER
Do you have an appointment with Mr. Hainsley?SPIKE
Let's just say he sent us an invitation.ANGEL
We're—I'm from Wolfram & Hart.SPIKE
I'm his date.
(Angel rolls his eyes)BUTLER
Mr. Hainsley is with a customer at the moment. I'm afraid he does not suffer interruption lightly.ANGEL
Not so worried about his suffering. Go ahead and interrupt.BUTLER
As you wish. Please wait here, gentlemen.
(exits)SPIKE
Oh, life among the power elite. It's all so civilized. Hainsley grinds up one of your people into chum, and you drop by for tea.ANGEL
I'm hoping to avoid a body count here.SPIKE
(looks off into the other room) No worries. Looks like this Hainsley keeps one on hand.Cut to:
20 INT. HAINSLEY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Spike walks into the adjacent room. Angel follows. The room is decorated like a Victorian parlor, complete with a few dozen people standing around posed, as if it were a wax museum.SPIKE
(scoffs)
Man likes to play with dollies.ANGEL
This isn't for him. It's a showroom.Cut to:
21 INT. HAINSLEY'S WORKSHOP - NIGHT
A woman is lying on a table in the center of a red pentagram that's painted on the floor. A middle-aged man stand over her chanting eerily, while a demon speaks from the shadows behind them.DEMON
(casually)
I thought about going older with it. I don't know, more distinguished, kind of a 50-something Shirley Temple Black with it. You know, that ultra-respectable ambassador to somewhere feel. But in the end I... I went with pretty. I suppose we all do, in the end, don't we? You know, in the end. Pretty people just seem to have it so much—
(the man sticks his hand in the woman's belly)
Oh. Whoa. There's something you don't see every, uh—
(the man reaches a hand back toward the demon)
Augh! Mmm!
(the man's hand glows orange as the demon's essence flows into the man's body through one hand, and out through the other, going into the woman)
OK, yeah, that's feelin' a little weird.BUTLER
Excuse the interruption, sir. There are some more men from Wolfram & Hart asking to see you. They seem rather adamant.HAINSLEY
Kill them.BUTLER
Very good, sir.
(exits)Cut to:
22 INT. HAINSLEY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Angel and Spike walk around among the posed people in the parlor.SPIKE
I don't know. Maybe the geezer's just lonely. Throws himself a surprise party every night. Picks out one of these painted pigeons and shows her a good time, if you know what I mean. What? I'm sure they don't mind.ANGEL
Yeah, I mind.SPIKE
Why? They're the lucky ones, aren't they? It's over for them. They've shuffled off, cleanly, the one time. Nobody's shoving them back into the stinking world against their will.ANGEL
(angrily)
I mind.BUTLER
(enters the room)
Mr. Hainsley has asked that I send you back to Wolfram & Hart, gentlemen.
(reveals that he's holding butcher knives behind his back)
In a manner of speaking.The butler plays menacingly with the knives trying to intimidate Angel and Spike.
SPIKE
Uh-oh. Looks like it's buckets for you.Angel reaches for a tiny teaspoon being held by a posed person beside him. He throws the spoon at the butler, and it lands in his forehead. The butler screams.
SPIKE
A spoon?! That's just...
(the butler reaches up to his forehead, pulls the spoon out, and turns toward Angel angrily)
Well, OK, that's more...
(the butler collapses)
Disappointing, really.ANGEL
I know you can't help me, but could you maybe not root for the other team?SPIKE
Hey, I'll root for anyone with half a chance of taking you down a notch.ANGEL
What is your problem?SPIKE
(walks up to Angel)
You are, ya ponce! You're my problem. You got it too good.
(Angel walks away, Spike follows)
You're king of a 30-floor castle, with all the cars, comfort, power, and glory you could ever want, and here I save the world, throw myself onto the proverbial hand grenade for love, honor, and all the right reasons, and what do I get? Bloody well toasted and ghosted is what I get, isn't it? It's not fair.ANGEL
(stops, turns to Spike angrily)
Fair?! You asked for a soul. I didn't! It almost killed me. I spent a hundred years trying to come to terms with infinite remorse. You spent 3 weeks moaning in a basement, and then you were fine! What's fair about that?!SPIKE
(fading again)
Are you getting blurry, or is it—
(disappears)Angel grunts from frustration, then walks away.
Cut to:
23 INT. HAINSLEY'S WORKSHOP - NIGHT
Hainsley is rinsing his hands out when Angel breaks the door down.HAINSLEY
Come in. It's open.ANGEL
Hainsley.HAINSLEY
(drying his hands)
Didn't know it was the head cheese himself. I thought for sure you were another lackey. You should show more respect.WOMAN
(lying on the table, the woman sits up)
Oh, uh, I can see you guys have a thing going on.
(walks toward the door)
Don't wanna get in your way. I'll let myself out.Angel grabs the woman by the arm as she walks by him. Her eyes glow red and she snarls at him. Angel punches her out.
ANGEL
So how much do you charge, huh? Installing the average demon in a human body? I'm sure a lot of them would love to pass as people. You know, walk amongst the sheep.HAINSLEY
Believe me, friend, the average demon can't afford it.
(laughs)ANGEL
I'm cutting off your supply, Hainsley. As of now your body shop is—
(with a flick of his wrist, Hainsley takes control of Angel's body, freezing him in place)
Aah!HAINSLEY
Who do you think you're talking to?
(turns his hand, causing Angel pain; Angel groans; Hainsley pulls Angel toward him)
I eat the dead for breakfast, son. And you're just another plate o' bacon and eggs.
(Spike shows up behind Angel)
A ghost, huh? You brought a ghost as your backup, vampire?SPIKE
I'm not here to back him up. I just haunt the bastard.ANGEL
Stay out of this.SPIKE
Oh, stick it—far as it'll go. You go ahead, wiz. Do what you want.HAINSLEY
What I want is to turn you inside out, like a shirt. I could dust you right now, boy. Wouldn't even need a stake.
(lets go of Angel, who grunts from the pain he was in)
But that would be too big an insult for the senior partners to overlook. Seems that they've got plans for youANGEL
(exhales sharply)
I've got plans of my own.
(dials his cell phone)
Gunn, do it.HAINSLEY
And what was that? Just call in an air strike?ANGEL
I just froze all your bank accounts, terminated your paper assets, and turned your books over to a very motivated contact we have at the I.R.S. 5 minutes from now, you'll have nothing but this house. 10 minutes from now, that'll go into foreclosure.HAINSLEY
(frowns) You can't do that.ANGEL
I'll let myself out.HAINSLEY
It's not legal. You think you can get away with that?
(scornful chuckling)
I'll sue you to hell.ANGEL
Good luck. We're your lawyers.
(walks out)HAINSLEY
This isn't over, vampire.Cut to:
24 INT. HAINSLEY'S FOYER - NIGHT
Angel is walking toward the door as Spike follows him.SPIKE
That's how you're gonna fight the forces of evil now—call the I.R.S.?ANGEL
Whatever it takes.SPIKE
Hello, I.R.S.? Will you fight my battles for me? And while you're at it, will you wipe my wide, spotty...
(disappears)ANGEL
Oh, thank God.
(walks out of the house)SPIKE
(reappears)
Ass?
(to Hainsley) You...HAINSLEY
Power over the dead. But enough about me. Let's talk about you. You're a ghost. Well, close enough, anyway. That's just a horrible way to be. You're not here, you're not there, just lost, somewhere in the middle. And you can't fight against it. You can't fix it. Hell, you can't even lift a finger 'cause you simply don't have any.SPIKE
Yeah. What's it to you?HAINSLEY
I can give you back what's been taken from you—freedom, power of choice. I can put your destiny back in your own flesh-and-bone hands. That's right. A corporeal body. I can make that happen. But to do that, I need you to do something for me. Something that might require...SPIKE
(excited)
Hurt Angel, that it? You want me to hurt Angel?
(grins devilishly)
You've come to the right ghost.Fade to black.
ACT III:
25 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Gunn follows Angel into Angel's office.GUNN
Wiped out every asset we could find on Hainsley. Wasn't easy. Man's got his fingers in a lot of dirty pies.ANGEL
Yeah, well, I think pies are gonna be off his menu for a while.GUNN
Yeah, well, it's gotta hurt. I mean, damn, who doesn't love pie? (sits)Fred and Wesley walk into the room.
FRED
You're back.WESLEY
Hainsley out of business?ANGEL
Yeah, for the time being.FRED
So he's not going away?ANGEL
Well, I think that, "this isn't over yet, vampire," may be the tipoff. Look, guys, can we get back to my, uh, spiritual crisis?WESLEY
Yes. Spike.ANGEL
Popped out on me at Hainsley's place. But we all know that he'll be back and back and back, and I really don't want that happening again, so explain to me how we're gonna get him out of here.FRED
He can't get out of here.ANGEL
Please don't tell me that.FRED
OK. Wesley...you tell him.WESLEY
I've had my entire department doing thorough research on the amulet. There's not much. Not in the way of releasing Spike from it, anyway. At least not in the conventional sense.ANGEL
And what's the unconventional sense?WESLEY
Something he asked for. Eternal rest.Cut to:
26 INT. LOBBY - NIGHT
Spike appears in the lobby, and walks by Harmony's desk on his way to Angel's office.HARMONY
(straightening her desk)
Fine. Don't talk to me.SPIKE
What?HARMONY
Whole time we were a thing, you treated me like day-old rat blood. Why should now be any diff, just 'cause you've gone all Patrick Swayze?SPIKE
What are you on about?HARMONY
Well, gee, nothing much. Just since you're all soulful now, I thought maybe, just maybe, you might've learned to open up a little. You know, talk? But I guess the leopard can't change his stripes.SPIKE
Spots, you dink. Leopards have spots.HARMONY
Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Brainy. Thank you so much for sharing. Wow. What a breakthrough.Spike walks toward Angel's office and overhears them talking about him.
ANGEL (O.S.)
This is an unusual situation, but I think it's our only choice.WESLEY (O.S.)
It's what we'd do in any case of a haunting, isn't it? An exorcism of sorts.FRED (O.S.)
We're talking about killing him.Cut to:
27 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Resume. Angel, Wes, Fred, and Gunn are discussing options for dealing with Spike.FRED
I mean, I know he's already dead, but... he'd be gone-dead. Forever. It just doesn't seem right.WESLEY
I agree, but neither is leaving him here, trapped between realms, with no control over his fate, not able to touch anything, affect anything. Unable to fight. Letting him cross over seems the most merciful thing—ANGEL
Yeah, yeah, mercy. I'm all for it. Just, hey, tell me how we do it.WESLEY
The amulet's protected, invulnerable to anything, but... the magic that's protecting it doesn't work on hallowed ground.GUNN
Hallowed. Like a church?WESLEY
Or cemetery, yes. It has to be taken there and destroyed.FRED
Destroyed how?WESLEY
I think a sharp blow would probably do the trick.GUNN
Angel, what do you think?ANGEL
(sits back in his chair)
I think I want to sleep on it.Fred places the amulet on Angel's desk. Wes, Gunn, and Fred leave.
Cut to:
28 INT. ANGEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Angel walks into his apartment and gets ready for bed, climbing under the blankets with a big sigh.SPIKE
(from the shadows near Angel's windows)
Well, look at you.ANGEL
Aw, no. No. No, no!SPIKE
Sitting in luxury's ample lap. Top of the world. Looking down on... well, everyone. It's good to be king, isn't it?ANGEL
Ground rules. Haunt me all you want during business hours, but this space—off limits.SPIKE
Relax, beefcake. I didn't come for a fight.ANGEL
Really?SPIKE
Not that I could, right? Can't touch, can't affect anything... Yeah, I overheard your little group powwow about me.ANGEL
How much?SPIKE
Enough of enough.ANGEL
Look, Spike—SPIKE
Necromancer tried to make a deal with me.ANGEL
What?SPIKE
Said he could bring me back—body and soul—if I used our close personal relationship to double-cross you.ANGEL
Tempting. So what'd you say?SPIKE
You see, right there, that's the problem. You having to ask me that. I don't play for that side anymore, or haven't you heard? Besides... even if mr. Death could do what he promised, I trust him about as much as you trust me.ANGEL
What do you want from me?SPIKE
I can't live like this, Angel. Being useless.
(sighs)
Being nothing. I want it to end.Cut to:
29 EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT
Angel and Spike are walking through a cemetery together.SPIKE
Suppose this'll do. Feels hallowed enough.ANGEL
(looks at the amulet he's holding)
Sure you want to do this, Spike?SPIKE
(scoffs)
What, think I could really stand hanging out with you and your lot, now and forever? Wisecracking ghost sidekick. No bloody thanks. Come on. You know as well as I do, it's for the best.
(Angel picks up an urn from a nearby grave)
I'm glad it's you, though. Finally doin' me in. Feels right. You being my grandsire and all. Circle of death, eh?ANGEL
Good-bye, Spike.SPIKE
See you around, Angel.Angel picks up the urn and aims for crushing the amulet, but hits himself in the head instead.
SPIKE
Uh, I think you missed.Angel hits himself in the face again, and then is picked up off the ground unable to move. Hainsley steps out of the shadows.
HAINSLEY
And the dead shall rise! Just 'cause I say so.ANGEL
Hainsley—HAINSLEY
Vampire should think twice before messing with a man who wields power over all things lifeless.
(drops Angel to the ground, knocking him out)
If you ask my advice.SPIKE
Took your sweet time stepping in, Hainsley. I came this close to getting a one-way to the great beyond.HAINSLEY
Relax, son. I wasn't going to let anything happen to you. You're the linchpin of my plan.SPIKE
Our plan. And you bloody better hold up your end of it. I'm not gonna be used by you.HAINSLEY
Yes, you are. But afterwards, I'll give you your reward, just as you asked. I'll put you back in the driver's seat of your afterlife. Control. That's all anyone really wants, isn't it?Fade to black.
ACT IV:
30 INT. HAINSLEY'S WORKSHOP - NIGHT
Angel's lying on the same table that the girl was on before Hainsley put the demon inside her.HAINSLEY
Hello, vampire. Have a nice nap?
(Angel tries to sit up, but Hainsley uses his power to push him back down)
Naw, don't get up. You've had a rough day. You know, so have I, thanks to you.ANGEL
Yours is about to get a hell of a lot worse.HAINSLEY
I don't think so. Me necromancer. You...dead. You can't lay a finger on me.ANGEL
Maybe not. But what do you think the senior partners are gonna do to you when I turn up missing?HAINSLEY
Oh, you're not going to be missing. You're going to show up to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morning, when you'll reverse the seizure of my personal assets and reinstate the Internment Acquisitions Department.ANGEL
And why would I do that?SPIKE
(steps out from the shadows)
Not you. Me. Wearing your body.ANGEL
And to think I didn't trust you.SPIKE
Come on, Angel. What choice did I have? Bloody exorcism? Letting you and yours banish me to oblivion? No, thanks. Necro here's gonna give me my body back... after I take yours for a test drive, fix his little problems. And here's the kicker: I go in, and you go... pfft! Off to never-never-come-back land. And then... yours very truly will be running the show. Your cars, your fancy digs, everything—everyone—I deserve...will be mine.
(wistfully)
And maybe I'll have a go with that Fred. She looks like a goer, and she seems to really look up to you.ANGEL
Shut up.SPIKE
You know what? You're right. Enough talk. Let's do this, already. I'm itchin' to get physical.HAINSLEY
I've never installed anyone in a conscious dead body before. I imagine this is going to be extremely painful.
(chuckles)Hainsley starts his eerie chanting again, then plunges his hand inside Angel's belly. Hainsley reaches back toward Spike, and absorbs Spike's energy into his own body. Spike disappears, and Hainsley's hand glows orange. The orange glow flows through Hainsley's body toward Angel's belly, but stops short.
HAINSLEY
(to the orange glow in his arm)
Unh! What? What...are you doing?The orange glow goes back up Hainsley's arm and disappears into his chest.
ANGEL
Spike...would you mind?HAINSLEY
(pulls his hand out of Angel's body)
No! Noooo!ANGEL
(stands up and faces off with Hainsley, kicking him across the room)
Can touch you now, Hainsley.HAINSLEY
(controls Angel's body again, throwing him across the room)
Think you're clever, eh? But—unnnnh!— Your ghost can't control me for long. I hold the power. I rule the dead.
(reaches toward Angel, but can't control him anymore)ANGEL
Not today.Angel fights with Hainsley and ultimately pushes him into a nearby table, knocking him down to the ground. Hainsley gets up again and engages Angel in hand-to-hand combat again. Angel throws a blade at Hainsley, cutting his head off. Hainsley's head falls to the ground, and Spike's head floats above Hainsley's neck.
SPIKE
Oh, bollocks.
(Hainsley's body falls to the ground)
I was just getting warmed up.ANGEL
That was you hitting me?SPIKE
The last bit, yeah. Hainsley's been dead since he hit the table.
(Angel frowns)
Oh, come on. Had to get a few licks in, didn't I?Cut to:
31 INT. LOBBY - DAY
Wesley and Angel are walking together through the lobby.WESLEY
I see. So Spike came to you with this plan.ANGEL
More or less. Once he learned Hainsley used himself as a conduit for body transfers, our trap fell into place.Harmony hands a file to Angel.
WESLEY
A bit reckless. Well, if Spike's going to be sticking around, it'd be prudent of him to share his plans with the rest of us in future.ANGEL
Yeah, well, sharing's not something Spike does very well.HARMONY
Preaching to the horse's mouth.Cut to:
32 INT. FRED'S OFFICE - DAY
Fred walks into her office in the Science Department. Spike is standing in the doorway.FRED
Spike. What are you...can I help you?SPIKE
Well, that's the heart of it, isn't it? The crux. The nub.FRED
I'm sorry?SPIKE
You're the smart one, aren't you? The go-to girl who knows all about this ghost mumbo-jumbo.FRED
Um...
(laughs nervously)
Well, actually, Wesley's the occult expert. He—he was trained as a Watcher. He knows about the supernatur—SPIKE
Yeah, but you're the science queen. The hows, the what-ifs—that's your cup of tea. You figure things out in that cute little noggin of yours.FRED
(nervously)
I guess. What... I-is there something...SPIKE
I'm slippin'.FRED
What?SPIKE
Don't wanna go, but it's like... It's like the ground underneath me is... splitting open and my legs are... straddling both sides of this bloody big chasm. It's getting wider, pulling me in.FRED
Is that... is that what's happening when you keep vanishing?SPIKE
(faces away from Fred)
I know what's down there—where it's trying to take me—and it's not the place heroes go. Not by a bloody long shot. It's the other one. Full of fire and torment. And it's happening. And I'm terrified.
(faces Fred)
Help me?Fade to black.
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