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PROLOGUE:
1 INT. VICTORIAN ERA HOTEL - DAY
TITLE: Royal London Hotel, England, 1880
A man and woman can be heard giggling on the other side of the lobby doors. William pushes the double-doors open and pushes Drusilla through, closing the doors behind them. William has his arms wrapped around her waist from behind, then turns her to face him, pushing her against the wall and nibbling at her neck.
NOTE: "William" is Spike's given name. The scene takes place before he adopted the nickname "Spike."DRUSILLA
Oh. Such a hungry little kitty.
(gently pushes him back)
Meow.
(walks out to the open area of the lobby)
You've been a starved one, haven't you, my sweet Willy?WILLIAM
I've got you to feast on now, pet. Is this your home?DRUSILLA
Their home.
(looks at a pair middle-aged corpses slumped on the sofa, posed as if they were sitting)
Ambassador to...something and his plump, lovely wife. Till their spirits flew away on fairy wings.
(whispers)
Psst. When Angelus took them for dinner.WILLIAM
(gawking at the corpses)
Angelus? Who the bloody hell's Ang—?
(turns to see Angelus lurking in the shadows in a nearby doorway)DRUSILLA
Look what I made. It's called Willy.WILLIAM
William.DRUSILLA
(smiles)
Where's Darla? I want Darla to see William.ANGELUS
(walks closer to them)
Darla and I had a little spat. Her precious master sent for her. You know Darla. Master's pet.DRUSILLA
Oh. Poor Angelus.ANGELUS
Ah, don't fret, Dru. We'll make up. Always do.
(touches his bruised brow)
Mmm. Ow. After a little tit for tat. Shouldn't let that spoil our fun here.
(looks at William, checking him out)
So, instead of just feeding off of this William... you went and turned him into one of us. Another rooster in the henhouse.DRUSILLA
You're not cross with me, are you?ANGELUS
Cross?
(grabs William's arm and holds it out into the ray of sunlight beaming through the closed curtains)
Do you have any idea what it's like having nothing but women as travel companions, night in and night out?WILLIAM
(angrily yanks his sizzling hand away from Angelus)
Touch me again—ANGELUS
Don't mistake me. I do love the ladies. It's just lately... I've been wondering...
(holds his own fist in the beam of sunlight)
what it'd be like...
(watches his hand sizzle)
to share the slaughter of innocents... with another man.
(turns his hand over so the palm is in the light now; looks admiringly at it as it smokes)
Don't... don't think that makes me some kind of a deviant, hmm?
(pulls his hand back close to his face)
Do you?Staring at Angelus, William sticks his own hand in the light—voluntarily this time)
ANGELUS
(laughs, slaps William on the shoulder affectionately)
Au ah! I like this one! You and me, we're gonna be the best of friends.Angelus and William laugh together.
Cut to:
2 INT. LOBBY - DAY
Angel walks down the steps into the lobby, walking briskly toward Harmony's desk, followed by Spike.ANGEL
Get the hell away from me, Spike.SPIKE
Would that I could, you big ape.
(walks through a column while following Angel)
'Til then, why don't you make us both happy and give me what I want?ANGEL
You're not getting an office.
(Harmony hands him his mail)SPIKE
You selfish sod. The rest of your lot get to go home to their nice and cozies. Me? I gotta nest in somebody else's roost. It's not bleeding right.ANGEL
You don't work here. You haunt this place—and annoy me. That's all.
(walks to his office)SPIKE
Job well done, eh? At least give me Wesley's office. I mean, since he's gone.ANGEL
He's not gone. He's on a leave of absence.
(walks into his office, shuts the door behind him)SPIKE
Yeah, right. Boo-hoo. Thought he killed his bloody father.
(yelling after Angel)
Try staking your mother when she's coming on to you!HARMONY
Well... that explains a lot.
(Spike starts to respond, but then decides to walk off)
Spike.SPIKE
(irritated)
Look, that was a long time ago. She wasn't herself.HARMONY
(holds up a package)
You got mail.SPIKE
What?HARMONY
It's addressed to you, care of here.SPIKE
Who the hell'd be sending post to a...HARMONY
Ghost?
(shakes head)
Doesn't say. Kind of heavy. Here.
(Spike holds up his hands)
Oh. You want me to—SPIKE
If you don't mind.Harmony uses the letter opener to slice through the packing tape and opens the package. Upon opening, the package releases a flash of bright white light. Harmony blinks dramatically, then looks at Spike.
SPIKE
Well, that was a slap and a tickle.HARMONY
(peers inside)
There's nothing—
(telephone rings, Harmony answers)
Morning, Wolfram and—aah!
(the phone makes an electronic screeching noise)SPIKE
(walks toward Angel's office)
Any more fireworks for me, I'll be in here telling your boss what a miserable bastard—
(walks into Angel's door, bounces off of it, landing on the floor)
Bugger! That hurt.
(the telephones are ringing off the hook)
(Angel walks out of his office and stares at Spike on the floor in front of his door)
Hold on...Fade to black.
Opening credits.
ACT I:
3 INT. LOBBY - DAY
Resume. Spike has just run into Angel's door and fallen to the ground. In the background, there's the constant noise of all the telephones ringing.SPIKE
(stands)
Hey. I'm—
(touches his chest)
I can feel.
(touches Angel's chest)ANGEL
Hey. Stop touching me.
(pushes Spike's hand away)SPIKE
(licks his lip to discover his nose had bled a bit from his run-in with the door)
Mmm! I can—
(grabs a mug from Angel's hand)ANGEL
Hey.SPIKE
(drinks deeply from Angel's mug)
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Oh, God. It's bloody ambrosia.
(looks at the cup, smiling, then looks at Angel)
Is this otter?GUNN
Hey, what's going—SPIKE
(hugs Gunn enthusiastically around the neck)
I'm back, Charlie boy! That's what's going!GUNN
He's corporeal. When did this— I mean, how?ANGEL
I don't know. He just—SPIKE
I got it. It must've been that box of flash I got in the mail.ANGEL
You got—from who?SPIKE
Don't know, don't care. But if you see him, give him a bloody kiss on the mouth for me.ANGEL
Harmony, what is going on with the phones?HARMONY
(walks out from behind the desk toward the others)
Nobody knows. It's, like, all over the office.
(Spike smiles as he checks her out)
And all there is is, "eee!" on the other end. Plus, now my computer's freaking.SPIKE
Harm.
(grabs Harmony passionately and kisses her)HARMONY
Get off.
(pushes Spike away, disgusted)
Ew.SPIKE
That's the idea.
(to Angel) I need to borrow your Gal Friday for a bit.ANGEL
Permission denied.SPIKE
I wasn't asking.
(grabs Harmony by the wrist and starts walking away)HARMONY
My God!
(wrenches her wrist away from him)
Oh, my God. What? You think just 'cause you're all... solid now, that I'm gonna go—SPIKE
(looks at her in earnest)
—that's a very pretty skirt you're wearing.Harmony tries to maintain her anger with Spike, but he keeps giving her that sexy look and she melts, no longer able to suppress a smile at the thought.
HARMONY
(turns to Angel, smiling broadly)
Taking a long lunch, boss.Spike takes Harmony by the hand, leading her down the hallway.
Cut to:
4 INT. VICTORIAN ERA COACH - NIGHT
Angelus and William are laughing as they ride through the night in a horse-drawn carriage.WILLIAM
And then, when you leapt up right in the middle of the ceremony, grabbed the priest's head, and squeezed it until it popped like...ANGELUS
Rotted melon.Angelus pulls the woman sitting beside him closer—it's a bride, bleeding from fang marks on her neck, barely alive, but still frightened.
WILLIAM
Yes! Eyeballs dangling from the sockets, and you shouting, "Frankly, father, thine eyes offend me."
(laughs, sits back)
Bloody priceless. And beating the groom to death with his own arm, I mean, honestly, you're a bloody killing marvel.ANGELUS
Yeah. Have a drink.WILLIAM
No, that's your spoils, mate.ANGELUS
I've had my fill. Go on, take her.WILLIAM
Nah. I think I might go and find Drusilla. She's prowling for street urchins in the east end. Make her happy if I joined her for a bit.ANGELUS
She's special, isn't she? Our Drusilla.WILLIAM
More than that. She brought me into this world. Where I was meant to be. It's like... she's my destiny.ANGELUS
Yeah, she is a sweet plum. I mean, a bit dotty and brain-addled, but—WILLIAM
She's not— She's just— It's like she's still got a bit of a child in her.ANGELUS
Perhaps 2 or 3 by now.
(knocks on the carriage wall behind him)
Driver! Stop the coach!
(sighs)
Happy hunting. Go on. Just be home before sunrise.William climbs out of the carriage.
Cut to:
5 INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Spike leads Harmony down the hallway, holding her hand. She giggles with excitement as Spike searches each room they pass. After passing one office, Spike stops and turns back to it.SPIKE
You. We need your office. Get out.
(walks into the office)MAN
What?! I don't take orders from a gh—
(Spike grabs the man's arm and pulls him toward the door)
Hey!SPIKE
Come on, then.MAN
You can't—
(wrestles himself free of Spike's grip)
Get your hands off—Spike shoves the man outside the office and closes the door. The man knocks on the door angrily.
SPIKE
Piss off!MAN
(stares at the door, then walks down the hallway, stopping to talk to a man at the copier station)
You're not gonna believe this, Jerry. I just got thrown out of my own office. That ghost pal of Mr. Goodfang, I guess he's—Jerry, who was using the copier, turns to the man, his eyes red and dripping blood.
JERRY
(in a low, growly voice)
Toner.MAN
Jerry?!JERRY
(beating the man mercilessly with a fire extinguisher)
Nobody...replaces... the toner!Cut to:
6 INT. LOBBY - DAY
Angel walks into the lobby talking to one of his office personnel.ANGEL
Kill 'em. All of 'em. The phones, the computers, shut 'em down. Find out if we got some kind of bug in the system and who put it there.GUNN
(walks up to Angel as the other man leaves)
Figure we're under some kind of attack again?ANGEL
I don't know what to figure yet.FRED
(runs down the stairs to catch up to Angel and Gunn)
Angel?ANGEL
Oh, let me guess. The lab computers are on the fritz.FRED
Well, yeah, but that's just the tip of the fritzberg. The needles on our atmospheric gauges suddenly started spiking into red. Totally blew out the instruments.ANGEL
Sounds like some kind of electrical surge, like what's affecting our phones and—7 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Angel, Fred, and Gunn walk into Angel's office, continuing their conversation.FRED
Well, yeah. That's what I thought at first, but I think it might be something else.ANGEL
Never simple, is it?
(picks up his mug)
He drank all my blood.
(turns, yells)
Harmony!GUNN
She's off having a nooner with Blondie Bear, remember?Angel sighs, exasperated.
FRED
She's what?GUNN
You know, "nooner." When you have sex in the middle of—FRED
I know what a nooner is, Charles. You said she's with Spike?ANGEL
Uh, yeah. He's corporeal again.
(sits in his desk chair)FRED
Corporeal?GUNN
Yeah. He got something in the mail. Flash, bam, boom... he's a solid citizen again.FRED
Oh, my God why didn't you call me?ANGEL
I'm sorry. We just, you know, we've had our hands full dealing with the glitch in the office system... which just so happens to coincide with Spike being back, and I can't believe I'm just getting that.GUNN
You think whatever recorporealized Spike's doing a number on the building?FRED
Well, obviously they're connected. Maybe when Spike's matter was reintegrated into physical form, it had some sort of ripple effect on the immediate environment. Or, if those gauge readings are correct, it could be the start of something bigger, like—EVE
(standing in Angel's office doorway)
The entire universe thrown into catastrophic turmoil? 'Cause that's what's happening, kids.
(walks into the office)GUNN
So you know what's going on?EVE
Only what I'm told, counselor. Corporate seers alerted me to the situation.ANGEL
Which is?EVE
It's a harbinger.FRED
Harbinger?EVE
Upshot is we've got trouble with a capital "T," and that rhymes with "P," and that stands for "prophecy." Shanshu. Maybe you've heard of it?ANGEL
Oh, God. That again. Yeah, I'm familiar. So?EVE
So it talks about a champion. A vampire with a soul who'll play a pivotal role in the apocalypse.
(sits on the edge of Angel's desk)
For good or evil. Anybody's guess. That part's hazy.FRED
I thought the Shanshu had to do with Angel becoming human again after—EVE
that's just the epilogue, princess. And, for the record, the prophecy doesn't call Angel by name.GUNN
Hold on. You're saying because Spike's back, you think he's—EVE
I don't think anything. All I can tell you is his very existence is disrupting the order of things.ANGEL
No argument here.GUNN
This doesn't add up. There were already 2 souled vampires in the universe before Spike fried. Why is this happening now?EVE
The keyword here is "champion." Spike gave his life to save the world. That gives him the cred. But when he died and became a ghost, case closed. Now that he's back, all bets are off, kids.Gunn walks toward the door.
ANGEL
Where are you going?GUNN
To check on something.
(exits)FRED
(to Eve) You knew this would happen. All that time I was working on recorporealizing Spike, you never mentioned—EVE
Hey, would've said something if I'd known, sweetie. My universe, too, you know. How'd you pull it off, by the way, bringing Spike back? You guys... did do it, right?ANGEL
Something came in the mail for him.EVE
The mail? Like the amulet.ANGEL
(glares at Eve)
Yeah. Never did find out who sent it.FRED
(glares at Eve)
The senior partners, maybe?EVE
Watch the accusatory stares, kids. I only know...ANGEL
What you're told. Right. So, the seers told you the phones and all were a harbinger. Of what?EVE
Something worse. And seriously dangerous.ANGEL
What do you mean, dangerous?Cut to:
8 INT. OFFICE - DAY
Spike is humping Harmony, who's lying on her back on the desk. This escapade is somewhat less than romantic, seeming mostly mechanical and dispassionate. Spike's not even looking at Harmony.HARMONY
(panting)
Sp-Spike!Harmony's moans seem more pained than pleasurable. Cut to a view of her face—her eyes are bleeding like the man from the copier station.
SPIKE
Shh. Shh. Don't talk. Let's not spoil the moment.
(Harmony vamps out and bites down hard on Spike's neck)
Aah!Fade to black.
ACT II:
9 INT. OFFICE - DAY
Resume. Harmony has just bitten Spike's neck.SPIKE
Harmony! Aah!
(stands, steps away)
What the bloody hell has gotten into—
(turns to see her and notices her face)
Your eyes.HARMONY
(yelling)
I'm not! Not yours!SPIKE
Yeah, right. Not mine.
(holds up his hands)HARMONY
Using me. Making me think... feel...like yours.SPIKE
(backs away)
Let's just—HARMONY
You! You don't want me! You want your slayer whore!
(rushes him)
I'll kill you!Spike punches Harmony, sending her back over the desk where she lands on the floor, unconscious. Spike stands there for a moment, trying to make sense of what just happened.
Cut to:
10 INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Medics pull a sheet over the body of the man Jerry killed with the fire extinguisher. Jerry is wheeled away on a stretcher, tied down with restraints.JERRY
Self-centered jerks!
(laughs maniacally, thrashing)
A little thing called being considerate!
(a medic gives him a tranquilizer shot)
Replace—
(passes out)Angel and Eve are talking to Lorne, who's sitting on a box of papers near the copier, holding a handkerchief to his forehead. Written in blood on the wall above the copier is the word "TONER."
LORNE
(groans)
Yeah, well, then I see Mr. Considerate here, covered in blood, making mashed potatoes out of this fella. And before I could get to, "What's wrong with this picture?" He clocks me right in the coconut.SECURITY GUARD
Sir, we have 2 more attacks. One fatality.ANGEL
OK, seal off the building. Nobody in or out till we know what we got here. Spell, virus, mass hysteria.SECURITY GUARD
Yes, sir.
(to his radio) All channels, we have a code black. Affirmative. We are closing Pandora's Box.LORNE
(stands)
Hey, say, fearless leader, uh, if you don't mind, what do you say I, uh, nurse this bump with an ice pack while I barricade myself in my office, huh?ANGEL
Your call. Hey, Lorne, do me a favor first. Stop by the lab and tell Fred I need to know the second she figures out what's causing this.LORNE
Yeah, gotcha.
(exits)EVE
Come on, Angel. You know what's causing all this.ANGEL
No, Eve. I don't.EVE
This is just the beginning. The fabric of reality is starting to unravel. For my money, it all comes down to you and—Spike walks out of the office he and Harmony were using, closing the door behind him.
ANGEL
Spike.SPIKE
(turns to Angel and Eve)
I don't know what you're putting in the water coolers around here, but your secretary just started crying blood and tried to rip me a few new ones.ANGEL
Harmony?SPIKE
Had to put her porch lights out. For the best. I'm sure you understand.ANGEL
Oh, yeah. You're a real hero.EVE
And that's our problem in a nutshell.SPIKE
Our problem?ANGEL
Eve's got this theory.EVE
Fact, Jack. There's only supposed to be one candidate for the vampire with the soul hero part in the big show. Two of you, and the wheel of destiny starts to spin off its axis. That's why everything and everyone is going mad.SPIKE
Hold on a tick. You're blaming this on us?ANGEL
No, she's blaming it on you.EVE
This town might not be big enough for the both of you.SPIKE
(scoffs, walks away down the hall)
Well, screw this town, then. Screw this devil's funhouse, Angel.
(turns, points at Angel)
And screw you for good measure. I think I'll take the new flesh and bones across the pond back to Europe.EVE
Spike, by town, I mean this entire plane of existence.
(Spike stops at the elevator)
You won't solve this disequilibrium by leaving.
(the elevator doors open)
You might even make it worse.GUNN
(steps off the elevator, loosening his tie, his eyes wide with fear)
Let's not make it worse. We don't want worse. I just went to the white room to see what the big cat had to say.ANGEL
And?GUNN
Cat's gone.EVE
Gone?GUNN
The white room, too. Elevator just opened up into a howling abyss. You ever heard a howling abyss? Terrible sound.EVE
Cat's gone means the conduit's gone means we're alone in this. No contact with the senior partners. Just us and a big, gaping tear in the balance of the universe.Spike's standing at the elevator, holding the doors open. He rolls his eyes.
ANGEL
Spike... stay.
(Spike shoots a glance at Angel)
Please. Europe'll still be there after we've worked this out.GUNN
Maybe.ANGEL
Probably.SPIKE
(lets the elevator doors close)
How exactly are you gonna work this out, boss man? You tell me we're making a tear in the galaxy or whatnot? You think you're just gonna sew that back up?EVE
If there was just some way to determine which one of you the prophecy's really about, maybe—ANGEL
I just read the Shanshu prophecy, and I'm telling you, there was nothing in it—SPIKE
Hold on. You read the prophecy? The one you don't believe in?
(Angel rolls his eyes, crosses his arms)
Uh, load of rubbish, you said? Well, isn't that bloody interesting.ANGEL
Spike?GUNN
No offense, Angel. What we need is someone who's an expert on the Shanshu scriptures.ANGEL
Fine, but Wesley's not here.EVE
No, but his department is. Maybe somebody there can—ANGEL
Do what? I'm telling you, I read the prophecy.Cut to:
11 INT. SIRK'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Angel's sitting in a chair in front of the Sirk's desk. Eve is seated beside Angel. Gunn and Spike are standing behind them.
NOTE: Sirk is the man who gave Wesley the tour of Wolfram & Hart in 4x22 "Home."SIRK
You didn't read the prophecy.
(stands)ANGEL
I didn't?SIRK
You read a translation of the prophecy.
(picks up a book, goes back to his desk)
It's like comparing the King James Bible with the original Aramaic, the Hebrew. Much of the flavor, the subtlety of usage, the historical context has been stripped away.
(scoffs)
Read the prophecy. You may as well have read a 12-year-old's book report on the subject.GUNN
(whispers to Angel)
I miss Wesley.ANGEL
OK, Sirk. Point made. Listen, is there anything in the Shanshu that can help us with what's going on?SPIKE
Yeah. What's it say about me?SIRK
There is a newly translated group of verses which may perhaps prove relevant. "The root of the tree will split in 2. And each thing will seek nourishment from the buried river."SPIKE
Sounds like a gardening tip.SIRK
It's metaphor. Please tell me I don't have to explain metaphor to you people.ANGEL
Sirk, the text.SIRK
Ah. Here we are. "Storm unleashed. The balance will falter until the vampire with a soul drinks from the cup of perpetual torment."ANGEL
More metaphor.SIRK
No, that's real.EVE
So there's a cup.SPIKE
Perpetual torment? Just know that's not gonna taste very good.SIRK
"He will have the weight of worlds upon him, binding his limbs, grinding his bones to meal until he saves creation... or destroys it."SPIKE
Uh...right. So, what's in it for me?SIRK
The vampire will have his past washed clean.ANGEL
And live again in mortal form. Yeah, that part I know.SPIKE
Yeah, I bet you do.GUNN
So, Angel drinks from this cup. Our computers go back on line, phones stop ringing, and people quit turning into homicidal maniacs?SPIKE
Who says it's Angel supposed to take the swig? Who says it's about him at all?ANGEL
Aw, come on, Spike. You really think this is about you?SPIKE
Oh, why the bloody hell not? Just 'cause you—EVE
Boys, let's focus on the problem at hand. We don't want to be wrong about this.SIRK
There is no wrong. The drinking of the cup is predestined. That can't be changed. Whoever drinks from it was meant to. When one is confirmed as the central figure of the prophecy, the universe should realign itself.GUNN
So, this cup thing. Where is it? Does it say?SIRK
It does offer some details, yes. Housed in the hidden city of Petra. Mm-hmm. Disappears during the crusades. Surfaces again at the Vatican. Vanishes in the third year of the inquisition. Then...yes. Interesting.ANGEL
What?SIRK
It's in Nevada.GUNN
Nevada?SIRK
Death Valley, to be exact. "The earth will thrash and mark the appearance of the cup at the columns."ANGEL
Columns? That sounds vaguely—SIRK
"And the desert will swallow cup and house whole and—" this can only be loosely translated. "And the fat lady will sing no more."ANGEL
Opera.EVE
Opera?ANGEL
The columns was an opera house in Death Valley. It was buried in an earthquake in '38. Made headlines in Los Angeles. That's only a few hours away. I can get there and back before—GUNN
Angel, we got a seriously major crisis going on here. Might not be the best time to go running after some mystical cup.ANGEL
I really don't have much of a choice. If it's there, I'm just gonna have to accept that the prophecy's real, and hope that it stops this madness. In the meantime, you're in charge.
(stands)
Keep this place quarantined till I get—
(looks around the room)
Where's Spike?Spike's nowhere to be found.
Cut to:
12 EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - NIGHT
Spike's driving down the desert highway in Angel's red Viper, singing along with radio.SPIKE
(cell phone rings)
Yello.ANGEL (O.S.)
You took my Viper.SPIKE
(grins)
My Viper now, mate. Possession's 9/10s. Oughta know that, running a law firm and such.Show that Angel is driving down the same highway as well.
ANGEL
You think this is a game? People are dying.SPIKE
And one of us is going to stop it. Hey, what do you know? I vote for me.ANGEL
There's no voting. It's a prophecy. And the Shanshu's not about you, Spike.SPIKE
Still can't accept it, can you? Sad, really. All these years believing you're the signified monkey, only to find out you're just a big hunk of nobody cares.ANGEL
I really wished you stayed a ghost.SPIKE
But I didn't, did I? Burned up saving the world, and now I'm back for real. Wonder why that is? Oh, wait. 'Cause I'm the one, you git!ANGEL
Spike, I don't have time to—SPIKE
(imitates static)
What that? I'm losing you. You're—
("static")
What do they call it?
("static")
Oh, right. Breaking up. You're breaking up.ANGEL
Spike, don't—SPIKE
(hangs up)
Ponce.ANGEL
(hangs up)
Idiot.Cut to:
13 INT. GUNN'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Gunn's standing behind his desk, pacing, talking on a 2-way radio walkie-talkie.GUNN
Yeah, I know she's a vampire. Just shoot her up with some elephant tranqs and put her in some kind of restraints.
(static garbles the transmission)
Uh...yeah. Whatever. That's OK. Just, look get it done. Over and, you know, out.
(puts down the radio)EVE
(saunters into Gunn's office)
Always something with this place, huh? I mean, ghost fights, id monsters, killer cyborgs. It's a wonder with all the hijinks you people ever get any work done.
(takes a robot figurine off the shelf and looks at it)GUNN
Funny, you always seem to be around for the...hijinks.EVE
Lucky, I guess.GUNN
Yeah? And what else are you, Eve? Besides lucky.EVE
(innocently)
Am I supposed to know what that—GUNN
Playing like you're just a fresh young thing from Santa Cruz who somehow winds up connected to the senior partners of Evil, Incorporated.EVE
Never said I was from Santa Cruz. Just went to school there. And if we're talking about being connected, Charles, you're the guy that talks to the cat upstairs.Through the window in the background, a man is seen walking menacingly toward Gunn's office wielding a fireman's axe.
EVE
I think that makes you a lot more connected to this place than I'll ever be. As far as the senior partners are concerned, I'm just a messenger.The man is still approaching, unnoticed by Gunn and Eve.
GUNN
(chuckles)
Right. And I'm just a mild-mannered attorney.A security guard topples the axe-wielding man right before he gets to Gunn's office window. Eve and Gunn turn to look at the commotion, but don't see the men on the floor.
GUNN
(takes the robot away from Eve, points at her)
Don't be fingerin' the robots.
(reshelves the robot)Cut to:
14 INT. COLUMNS OPERA HOUSE - NIGHT
Spike and Angel arrive separately at the opera house located in the middle of the open desert. Angel looks around, when Spike speaks from a balcony above him.SPIKE
Here we are, then. 2 vampire heroes... competing to wet our whistle with a drink of light, refreshing torment.ANGEL
Is that what you think you are—a hero?SPIKE
Saved the world, didn't I?ANGEL
Once. Talk to me after you've done it a couple more times.SPIKE
Done talking, mate. Got a prophecy needs fulfilling.
(waves shortly)
Ta.
(walks out of sight)ANGEL
Spike!
(follows him)
Damn it!Cut to:
15 INT. VICTORIAN ERA HOTEL - NIGHT
William walks into the hotel and sees Angelus humping a woman dressed in white on the bed.WILLIAM
Well... looks like you haven't had your fill of her after all—Angelus leans back, revealing that's he's been with Drusilla.
DRUSILLA
(rolls her head over to look at William)
The little children didn't come out to play.
(sits up, leaning closer to Angelus's chest)
Did you miss me, pretty William?ANGELUS
I'm sure he did, Dru. After all... you are his destiny.DRUSILLA
Oh. That's so sweet.Angelus laughs at William. Drusilla joins in the laughter. William gets a look of enraged hatred as he glares at Angelus.
Cut to:
16 INT. COLUMNS OPERA HOUSE - NIGHT
Angel walks down through the rows of seats in the opera hall toward the stage where the golden cup sits spotlighted on a pedestal. Angel jumps onto the stage, and as he gets close to the cup, Spike jumps down from the rafters behind him. Angel stops, rolls his eyes. They both look at the cup.SPIKE
Thought it'd be a little less goldeny, what with the torment and all.ANGEL
So... what do we do now?SPIKE
(sighs, punches Angel, snickers)
What do ya think?Fade to black.
ACT III:
17 INT. COLUMNS OPERA HOUSE - NIGHT
Spike paces back and forth while Angel gets back to his feet.SPIKE
Come on! Let's see how much soul you really got in there.ANGEL
Spike, we don't have time for this.SPIKE
Keep your knickers dry, Sally. You're not gonna last that long.ANGEL
(sighs, stands)
Fine. We'll do it your way.Angel and Spike start fist-fighting. They trade punches, then Spike throws Angel up in the air, where he lands on a balcony behind him. Angel lands on a cross, which burns him, and he recoils angrily, kicking the cross down to the stage below.
SPIKE
Ha ha ha ha! Oh, yeah. Look at you. Thinking you're the big savior—fighting for truth, justice, and soccer moms—but you still can't lay flesh on a cross without smelling like bacon, can you?ANGEL
Like you're any different.SPIKE
Well, that's just it. I am. And you know it. You had a soul forced on you—as a curse. Make you suffer for all the horrible things you'd done. But me... I fought for my soul. Went through the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting. 'Cause I knew it was the right thing to do.
(jumps up to the balcony in one smooth motion, landing in front of Angel)
It's my destiny.ANGEL
Really? Heard it was just to get into a girl's pants.Spike uses his toe to lift a metal rod of rebar into his hands. He swings it at Angel, but Angel does a somersault off of the balcony, landing on the stage near the cup. Angel walks toward the cup, when Spike throws the rebar at him like a spear, narrowly missing him. Angel turns to look at Spike, who jumps from the balcony wielding another rod of rebar.
SPIKE
(jumping)
Yaaaagh!Angel grabs the first piece of rebar that Spike threw at him and uses it to deflect Spike's weapon.
Cut to:
18 INT. SCIENCE LABORATORY - NIGHT
Harmony is wheeled into the lab on a stretcher. She is restrained and unconscious.GUNN
6 more cases. That's what—a 30% increase in the last hour?FRED
32.4, but who's counting?EVE
Any idea what the specific trigger is?FRED
None. There is no common thread. Gender, age, position, psych profile, blood type, med history— there doesn't seem to be any pattern to this thing. It seems like it could affect any of us.EVE
Is there anything we can—GUNN
Why are you answering her questions, Fred?
(shudders)
We don't trust this bitch.
(looks up, revealing that he, too, is now bleeding from his eyes)
She'll kill us all.FRED
Gunn!GUNN
(grabs Eve by the neck, squeezing her throat, pressing her back against the wall)
What are you, huh?FRED
Gunn, no!
(prepares a tranquilizer gun)GUNN
(enraged)
What's really in there, huh? Huh?!
(Eve gasps)
Well, heh, guess you gotta breathe. Good to know.Fred approaches him with the tranquilizer gun, but he smacks her, knocking her down and shattering the vial of medicine in the gun.
GUNN
You liar! You think we don't know that you're behind this, that you've been playin' us?! What are you, huh? Show me! What are you—a monster?
(screaming)
Show me!Fred smacks Gunn in the head with a metal tray, knocking him down and loose from Eve. Eve holds her throat and gasps for air.
Cut to:
19 INT. COLUMNS OPERA HOUSE - NIGHT
Angel and Spike are fighting, using the rebar rods as staffs. Angel gets a punch in, knocking Spike down.SPIKE
Used to hit a lot harder, gramps.
(stands)ANGEL
No, your head's just gotten thicker.They continue to fight, and Angel pushes Spike further and further back. Angel finally swings the rebar rod like a baseball bat, knocking Spike up into the balcony. Angel follows him, ready to swing at Spike again, but Spike stands and blocks the swing.
SPIKE
You're not gonna win this time.Spike punches Angel, knocking him off of the balcony. He lands on the stage below, coughing and bleeding at the mouth.
SPIKE
(jumping down to the stage)
Vampire with a soul. Nobody knows what side he's gonna fight on... when the big show comes down. Except we already know what side you're on, don't we? Already made your choice. Traded in your cape and tights for a nice comfy chair at Wolfram & bloody Hart.Spike swings the rebar, ready to jab it into Angel's neck, but Angel reaches up and grabs it before he can complete the motion.
ANGEL
Little more complicated than that.
(uses the rebar Spike's holding to get leverage to stand, knocking Spike down in the process)
But you always were a bit simple... Willy.
(throws the rebar down, walks toward the cup)Cut to:
20 INT. VICTORIAN ERA HOTEL - NIGHT
Angelus throws William into the wall, squeezing his neck.WILLIAM
Don't touch her!ANGELUS
Little late for that, Willy. And I really don't like it when you raise your voice to me.DRUSILLA
William, don't play such a sad tune.
(reclines seductively)
Give us a kiss, then.WILLIAM
Why did you...? You knew. You knew she was mine.ANGELUS
Did I?WILLIAM
You knew bloody well!
(wrenches himself free of Angelus's grasp and punches him)
(charging Angelus)
Unh-aaaugh!Angelus deflects William easily and pushes him to the ground.
ANGELUS
Just don't get it now, do you?
(picks William up by the lapels, throwing him onto the couch)
(pushes the corpses off the couch and sits beside William)
Well, you're new... and a little dim. So let me explain to you how things are now. There's no belonging or deserving anymore. You can take what you want, have what you want... but nothing is yours.
(Drusilla walks out into the doorway)
Not even her.WILLIAM
You're wrong. We're forever, Drusilla and me.DRUSILLA
(clasps her hands over her heart)
Are we?ANGELUS
Ah, still the poet now, aren't we, Willy?WILLIAM
William.ANGELUS
Right. William. You know, you really should find a new name for yourself. It just doesn't strike the right note of terror.
(pats William's knee; stands; goes to stand behind Drusilla)
Tell you what... William. If you want her...
(slips his hands around Drusilla's body, below the waist)
come and take her.Drusilla holds her hands out, beckoning William. William charges Angelus angrily.
Cut to:
21 INT. COLUMNS OPERA HOUSE - NIGHT
As Angel reaches for the cup, Spike charges at him, punching him hard, knocking them both down. They stand, both having their hand at the other's throat.SPIKE
Come on, hero. Tell me more.
(punches Angel)
Teach me what it means.
(punches Angel)
And I'll tell you why you can't stand the bloody sight of me.
(punches Angel)ANGEL
(punches Spike)
Tell it to your therapist.
(punches Spike)SPIKE
(punches Angel)
'Cause every time you look at me...
(punches Angel)
you see all the dirty little things I've done,
(punches Angel)
all the lives I've taken...
(punches Angel)
because of you! Drusilla sired me...
(punches Angel)
but you... you made me a monster.
(punches Angel, walks toward the cup)ANGEL
(collapses to the ground)
I didn't make you, Spike. I just opened up the door...
(starts to get up)
and let the real you out.Spike picks up the cross that burned Angel before and swings it at Angel, knocking him across the room. Spike holds the cross in his hands.
SPIKE
You never knew the real me.
(hands sizzle on the cross; he throws it away; walks toward Angel)
Too busy trying to see your own reflection... praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you!ANGEL
No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you: Because you weren't me.SPIKE
(grabs Angel by the lapels)
Guess that means she was thinking about you... all those times I was puttin' it to her.Angel grabs Spike's wrists and pulls them apart. He punches Spike, then throws him across the room, causing some of the wood props to shatter. They fist fight, and Spike jabs Angel in the arm with a splinter of wood. Angel rips the splinter out of his arm and glares at Spike.
ANGEL
All right...
(changes into vampire face)
let's finish this.Spike changes into vampire face as well. They charge each other.
Fade to black.
ACT IV:
22 INT. FRED'S OFFICE - NIGHT
A visibly shaken Eve sits in a chair in Fred's office. Fred brings her a glass of water and kneels in front of her.FRED
(talking softly)
Take small sips. It's gonna hurt to swallow for a while.
(Eve coughs)
You're gonna be OK, just—EVE
(looking down)
You don't have to pretend to care.FRED
What?EVE
Oh, come on, Fred.
(looks at Fred)
I know what you think of me. What you all...
(cries)FRED
Look, what Charles said, about us thinking you're behind... you know, everything. He was under the effects—
(Eve sets the glass down, stands and walks to the door)
Eve.EVE
(turns to face Fred, shakes her head)
I am not the bad guy.
(walks out)Cut to:
23 INT. COLUMNS OPERA HOUSE - NIGHT
In full vampire form, Angel and Spike fight on the stage of the opera house.ANGEL
(scratches Spike's chest with a fragment of wood)
How's it feel?SPIKE
(scratches Angel's chest)
You tell me.Spike kicks Angel repeatedly in the gut, and the wood fragment Angel was holding goes flying into the air. Spike kicks Angel to the ground, grabs the wood fragment from the air, and rears back in a staking motion. He pauses for a moment, then drives the stake into Angel's body, causing him to scream in pain. Spike stands, looks down at Angel, revealing that he drove the stake into Angel's shoulder. Angel lets his face slip back into human form.
SPIKE
Probably should've dusted you.
(returns to human face)
But honestly... I don't want to hear her bitch about it.
(turns to walk toward the cup)ANGEL
(pulls the stake out of his shoulder)
Spike, wait.
(Spike picks up the cup)
Wait.
(Spike rolls his eyes)
That's not a prize you're holding.
(Spike looks at Angel)
It's not a trophy. It's a burden. It's a cross.
(Angel stands)
One you're gonna have to bear till it burns you to ashes. Believe me. I know.
(Spike puts the cup back on the pedestal and looks at Angel)
So ask yourself: Is this really the destiny that was meant for you? Do you even really want it? Or is it that you just want to take something away from me?SPIKE
(shrugs)
Bit of both.
(drinks from the cup)ANGEL
(lunges to try to stop him, but too late)
Spike—SPIKE
(drops the cup, stares at Angel, bewildered)
I-it's... Mountain Dew.Angel looks at the cup, then at Spike. They stare at each other in confusion.
Cut to:
24 INT. SCIENCE LABORATORY - DAY
A bloody and beaten Angel walks into the lab. Fred is there checking on Harmony and Gunn, who are still restrained on stretchers.ANGEL
Fred.FRED
Angel.
(rushes to him)
God, what happened?ANGEL
I fell down... some stairs. Big stairs. Gunn.FRED
We've tried everything—medical, mystical. Nothing's stopping it.ANGEL
It's still going on?FRED
And getting worse. What about the cup? Did you...ANGEL
Ah, it was a fake. Somebody set us up.FRED
What? Who?ANGEL
I don't know. Sirk was the one who sent us there. Maybe he's—SPIKE
(walks into the lab, also still bloody and beaten)
Gone. Cleaned out his office and pulled a puff of smoke.FRED
(looks at Spike, then at Angel)
Stairs, huh?ANGEL
All right. Sirk's gone. The cup's a fake, but the madness is real. So what are we gonna do about it?GUNN
(groggily)
I say we start by untying the brother.FRED
Charles.
(unties his restraints)HARMONY
(comes to, looks at her restraints)
Am I in trouble?
(Angel unties her)GUNN
(looks around)
Hey. What the hell happened?Cut to:
25 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Eve briefs Angel, Gunn, and Spike in Angel's office.EVE
Senior partners stepped in. Apparently they were working on the problem since it started. They managed to temporarily stabilize the universal equilibrium.ANGEL
Temporarily? For how long? What about Sirk and this fantasy he fed us about the cup?EVE
Partners don't know a thing about it. They're as angry as you.ANGEL
Really doubt that.EVE
Don't worry, Angel. Sirk can't hide for long. We'll bring him in, find out who put him up to it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go home and ice my neck.
(stands, walks to the door)GUNN
(stands)
Uh, Eve...
(goes to Eve)
uh... listen... I'm really...EVE
Don't sweat it, counselor. You've other things to worry about. The whole Shanshu thing's still unresolved. Still 2 vampires with souls. Guess that's a question for another day.
(exits)GUNN
Any more days like today, and there won't be another day.SPIKE
Yeah, well... meantime...
(stands)
this souled ex-ghost vampire's got some corporeal drinking to catch up on. What do ya say, Charlie-boy? Feel like gettin' pissed?GUNN
No. No, my head feels like it's gonna split open and toss my toys and candy all over the floor.
(sits on the table near Angel)SPIKE
You're way ahead of me. Fair enough.
(exits)ANGEL
Maybe you should have Fred check you out.GUNN
Nah, she'll just wanna strap me down again.
(sighs)
You OK?ANGEL
I don't know. He beat me, Gunn.GUNN
Who, Spike? Looks to me like he got as good as he—ANGEL
No. He beat me to the cup.GUNN
You mean the fake cup? The make-believe, fairy-tale cup? So what?!ANGEL
No, you don't...
(sighs)
He won the fight, Gunn... for the first time. Doesn't matter if the cup is real or not.
(sighs)
In the end, he... Spike was stronger. He wanted it more.GUNN
Angel, it doesn't mean anything.ANGEL
What if it does? What if it means that... I'm not the one?Cut to:
26 INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
A smiling Eve walks into an apartment where the door jambs and the door are covered in strange symbols. She closes the door behind her, sets her purse on the table, and unbuttons her coat.EVE
You know, funny thing about throwing the universe out of whack... not as fun as it sounds.
(takes off her coat)
On the plus side, they totally fell for the cup of torment thing. Just like you thought they would.
(sits, unbuckles her shoes)
And our Mr. Sirk pulled off his vanishing act without a hitch. Right under the senior partners' noses.
(unzips her dress)
And you might be happy to know... Team Angel is on red alert.
(slips her dress off)
Could be they think the partners just fired a warning shot across their bow.
(takes off her bra and panties)
Oh, and, by the way, Spike didn't kill Angel, but they did beat each other to bloody pulps.Eve crawls into bed and snuggles up under the covers to Lindsey, whose chest and arms are covered in the same kinds of symbols that are on the door. He puts his arm around her and pulls her close to him.
LINDSEY
Well... it's a start.Fade to black.
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