Buffy watched Giles from the doorway. He wasn't yet dreaming, and so was quiet and calm. She'd cried earlier, in the shower, when she suddenly realized how close she had come to never having him again. They had taken him away from her, they were armed. It was only Wesley's quick thinking that had saved him. She, once again, had failed to protect him.

"I'm sorry." She told the sleeping man. She truly was, for much more than that night, those last seven months. The memory of the pained words in the journal shadowed her vision, and with every gentle smile from Giles she saw a thousand of his tears.

Of course, he didn't really seem to care. Nothing in their past bothered him, nothing made him give up on her, hate her or try to get as far away from her as he possibly could.

With a sad, tired and happy smile, she lay down next to him, not caring who saw them. They had beat the council, they were safe. It was time to heal.

Wesley was trying to keep his cool as he walked around the room, searching for a pulse in his friends. He found only Edmund, left for dead under the heavy body of a young watcher.

Blessing what ever it was that made him go to the factory before it was too late for even Edmund, he stopped the blood flow and carried him to the car.

Xander took the stairs three at a time, bursting into Giles' room, not even blinking when he found Buffy there. The rattling of the door on its hinges woke them both.

"Wesley's in the emergency room. Edmund is the only one."

"The only one what?"

Xander's face fall as the full meaning of the news he carried came to him. "The only one the council left alive."

Buffy's pacing was making Giles dizzy, but he lacked the strength of mind to try and stop her. It was only when she trampled his foot for the umpteenth time that he pulled on her hand. Obeying now an instinct for her, she sat down.

Wesley was sitting across from them, his arms wrapped around himself, his eyes distant. He had gone to school with Edmund, knew him since they were both very young. He was friends with all of them, each of his dead comrades. For the first time, he truly understood the extent of the danger from the council.

Buffy was now curled up under Giles' arm, trying to hide as much of herself as she could from the real world. When she couldn't actually see him, it was almost possible to pretend Giles was his normal, strong self. It was only the feeling of the protruding ribs as they dug into her flesh that kept her from giving in to the illusion.

A doctor came in, saying that Edmund would be all right in a few days, allowing Wesley to go see him. It was a comfort too small to return the life to their own eyes.

Eventually Wesley returned, unwillingly obeying the doctor's orders to allow Edmund his rest. A short argument about the wisdom of leaving Edmund alone with the council still in town ensued - an argument which Wesley lost as they all turned to leave for whatever hiding place they could find.

The council knew of the mansion, Wesley reminded them. They knew where each one of them lived. It was with her usual lack of tact that Cordy reminded them all that there was, after all, another rebel slayer in town. And she had to live somewhere. Somewhere well armed.

Buffy looked sadly at the signs of their struggle. It was still evident, even after all this time, that something had gone wrong there. The broken glass and furniture, the ghosts of her imagination as she remembered the fight. She turned sadly to see Willow slightly smiling at her and smiled back. They were not happy smiles, but they were enough to shake Buffy back into the present.

Not that the present was all that better.

Wesley was staring into space, still shocked. Xander was in the process of forcing Giles to take another nap, collapsing on the bed near him when he finally managed it. Both were instantly asleep.

As one, the girls realized it was up to them to devise a plan.

Xander's dreams were troubling him. In them his imaginations filled in the blanks in Giles' story. Vivid color and lively sound, and he could see each wound inflicted. He stirred restlessly then woke up.

Remembering where he was took him quite a while. The events of the previous day came rushing at him and he sat up, almost choking. Next to him Giles was shifting in restless sleep. Buffy was curled up at his side.

And was her thumb in her mouth?

Something inside him clicked. The slayer was suckling on her thumb in her sleep. Suddenly, almost for the first time, he realized she had been through a lot as well, and that perhaps it wasn't right of him to devote all his attention to Giles.

But if Buffy had Giles, she didn't need him. Wouldn't want him either, most likely. It was Giles he had quickly grown accustomed to taking care of, and it was usually more then he could handle. Buffy didn't really need him at the moment.

He lay there, staring into space, trying to forget his dream, finding that his mind always wandered back to Giles' condition. It wasn't half as bad now as when he first got there. Xander had actually woken up screaming the first night, after he had finally managed to clean Giles up and put him to bed. Giles woke up screaming too, that night and each one that followed, but he was too tired to stay awake for long and think about it.

He heard Giles moan and turned to him. In her sleep Buffy had pressured a sensitive bone and Giles' face was pale with pain. Xander tried moving her without her waking up, but Buffy was far to sensitive to touch for that.

She blinked at him, then smiled tiredly. "What time is it?"

"Morning. Giles… needs to do something. We won't be long."

"OK." She rolled away, getting her weight off Giles, falling asleep.

Giles rolled to a sitting position at the side of the bed, looking around him. He had never been to Faith's apartment, and if felt odd being there, seeing a niche of her other life. Xander sat next to him. "Time to clean those wounds, I think."

Giles squeezed his hand shortly. He could scarcely express his gratitude to the young man, or how sorry he was to have forced him to mature.

Xander smiled, embarrassed, then helped Giles up and to the bathroom. He could barely support their combined weight, Giles' exhaustion buildt until he leaned entirely on Xander. That was something he and Buffy would have to talk about later - Giles' insistence to play a part of the previous battle ensured that he would not be able to defend himself come the next one.

On the bed, Buffy woke up. Cold, and alone. Giles wasn't there. She looked around in time to see him and Xander enter the bathroom. She rolled back and pretended to be sleeping.

Giles dropped heavily on the closed lid of the toilet, leaned his head on the wall and tried not to think of the agony that short walk had brought him. He barely noticed it when Xander started meticulously cleaned each of the gashes on his body.

He had pushed himself too far. That much was now obvious. He should have listened to them when they asked him to stay in bed and rest. It was only by sheer force of will that he had mannaged all that he had done those last few days. Now, not even his will could support him. His heart was weak, he had been on the verge of penmunia when he had escaped, his soft bones and weak muscles could not support the meager weight he had, and his leg bones, at the very least, had cracks in them. Those would take months to heal, and he could no longer ignore the pain they brought him when he tried to stand.

Wesley and Cordy had woken up by the time Xander was done. He and Giles staggered into the living room, dropped on the oddly shaped sofa and gladly accepted the drinks offered to them by Willow.

"So, what's the plan?"

"We don't have one." Buffy said glumly.

"Sit around for three hours and all you have to show for it is dark circles under your eyes. This job is so bad for my skin."

"It's good to see you again, Cordy."

"I wonder if Angel can make the insurance cover a facial…"

Willow frowned. "Where is Angel?"

"We're not sure. You know how he likes to disappear every once in a while. Last time we saw him was over three weeks ago. I'm not even sure he knows you two are back."

They all sneaked a nervous look at Buffy, but she was sitting next to her watcher and didn't really seem to notice them. Her hand was tracing some imaginary line on his arm and her eyes were following her hand, completely ignoring the rest of the world.

She was deep in thought. The earlier parts of his journal, before pain showed its ugly face, reviled to her a side of him she had never before seen, and strongly suspected she never will again. For the first year of his stay in Sunnydale, he started every entry in his journal with the words "Watcher's log, helldate…". It had made her laugh, and observe him in a whole new light. Apparently, stuffy was just a show he was craft at putting on.

She heard them mention Angel, but ignored it. It was only when Cordy began listing the weapons available to them that she reluctantly drifted back into reality.

"Three swords, one crossbow, one large round thing with horns…" Buffy and Giles exchanged bemused glances. "One large axe, thirty seven stakes, one ugly thing that cut my finger…

"And they have rifles." Wesley stated. It was the first time since they met him that he didn't seem to have complete faith in their ability to win. "We had strength in numbers before. And a bit of magick. We have nothing now."

"That's not true!" Buffy's spirit rose, as if to prove Wesley wrong. "We have the advantage of surprise, and of knowing this town. They're on foreign territory and they don't know where we are. They won't know what hit them."

Wesley's voice was grave. "We don't know where they are, either. And when we do find them, we'll have just as little knowledge of their hiding place as they had of ours. Remember, they choose the next battleground."

They all looked at each other. "Yes, wonderful way to keep everyone's spirit up, Wesley." Giles sounded a bit upset.

"I was just trying to be realistic." He said, looking offended.

"There's being realistic, and there's being realistic, Wesley. There are ways of telling them we are all doomed without making them believe it. It's what kept us alive all this time. It's called faith, and when it's on your side, it's just as useful as a slayer by the same name."

"Faith is in a coma." Wesley insisted.

Their response was a collective, exasperated shake of the head.

Buffy and Xander watched Giles labor his way back to bed with Wesley's assistence. "When it's time to fight, we'll have to leave him here."

"He's not going to like that."

"Tough. He's not coming with us. He can't even run and hide if things go wrong. I'll knock him unconscious if I have to, I've done it before."

Wesley sat down beside them. "So far, none of us can go fight. We have no idea where they are, what kind of weapons they have…"

"We already know this Wes. And we know it won't be easy. But we have to, so we'll do it. Welcome to the life of slayers and scoobies."

"And what am I?"

She looked at him seriously. "You're a watcher. And someday you'll take care of a slayer."

They couldn't keep their spirits up, and were all getting tired. Buffy was the only one to remain awake, and she looked at them, unsure of what to do. They were risking their lives for hers, Giles was risking what was left of his health. And for what? Was she worth it? Was this futile gesture of attempting to protect her, the end of which would surely be death to them all, something she deserved?

She looked at Giles, sleeping with Xander by him, as always. He had Xander to take care of him, endlessly devoted. He didn't need her to risk his life. He was free, and alive, and the only thing between him and recovery was the need to push his body further to protect her.

She moved closer to look at him, then kissed his slightly stubby cheek. She was crying, thinking of never seeing him again, never holding his hand or seeing him smile. "Take good care of him." She whispered to a sleeping Xander, and creeped out the door, unnoticed.

"You'll leave them alone?"

"Of course. They're of no consequence once…"

"Once you get rid of me."

Travers nodded at her, then held his gun up. Buffy closed her eyes. *I love you all. Goodbye Giles.*

 

The End