"Rockstar "

Author: Gia
Email: gia@everysixseconds.com
Notes: Inspired by the movie Rock Star (hence, the unimaginative title).

Buffy walked slowly out of class, relieved that the day was finally over. Her math test had been beyond comprehension. Buffy wondered briefly if she had even been in the wrong class the entire time because all the concepts on the test had seemed so foreign. She groaned as she spotted Scott in the hall, not needing another headache today.

Scott was nice enough, but had been pestering her repeatedly about going out on a date. From the sly looks he gave her, she knew that he didn't believe that she was really dating Angel, rather he suspected she had made up their relationship out of a one-night stand (most likely) or that she simply had a crush on the guy. Not unheard of in Sunnydale where the Dingoes were well known.

As Buffy spun around and headed in the opposite direction, Scott spotted her and rushed to catch up, shouting her name. Buffy stopped to avoid any further embarrassment and waited.

"So, Buffy." Scott was panting heavily as if he had just run a full sprint in a 100-yard dash when in fact he'd barely jogged 10 feet. "Want to go to the Bronze tonight? It's the annual fumigation party."

"Uh. No, thanks though. I already have plans." Buffy started to walk away, but Scott followed.

"Everyone will be there. You have to come. I'll even buy you a mocha with extra whipped cream…" Scott smiled, sure that the drink would be an enticement knowing Buffy's partiality for the sweet.

"Thanks Scott, but I already promised Willow that I'd hang with her." Buffy waved to Willow who was coming across the campus toward her. "Right Will?"

"Um, uh, yeah. Right Buffy?" Willow smiled, knowing that Buffy was once again trying to shake off Scott. "We already…"

"Have plans." Buffy shot Willow a look.

"Yeah, plans. We're uh, going to the Bronze. Annual fumigation party." Willow improvised, not aware of Scott's earlier offer.

"Great! Then I'll see you there. And you'll owe me a dance. A SLOW one." Scott attempted a sexy smile, which really just made him look like he had just swallowed something sour.

"Ugh." Buffy grimaced at Willow as Scott left.

"Sorry." Willow smiled sheepishly, sorry that her attempt to help Buffy with an excuse had backfired. "Well, we can always not go and just say that we got sick or something."

"Nah, that's ok. My mom's still on the 'Buffy must socialize' kick. When Angel left town and I didn't go out for like three days she freaked, thinking I was going to wither away and die in my room at 17. If going out keeps her off my case, then by all means, let's go out."

"Well, if you're sure…"

"I'm sure. I mean, I should be able to avoid Scott most of the night, right?" Buffy hooked her arm through Willow's as they started forward. "Besides, maybe Angel will call tonight before we go, which always gives me a happy."

Willow only grinned in response.

Both girls were noticeably bummed when they arrived at the Bronze, neither having heard from their guys. It had been almost a month since their trip, and the oh-so-happy weekend that still made Buffy smile every time she thought about it. Like now.

"Thinking of that weekend?" Willow smiled too, noting Buffy's dreamy expression.

"You can tell, huh?" Buffy still smiled, although her cheeks were slightly pink from a blush.

"Oh yeah. Every time." Willow teased. They had exchanged stories of their weekends during the ride home as well as the weeks that followed, but Buffy still kept a lot of it to herself. It was just too precious to share, even with her best friend.

It wasn't long before Cordelia arrived with Harmony and two other members of the 'Cordettes'. And, of course, every chance she got she made sure to insult or needle Buffy somehow, having never forgiven her for what she saw as trespassing or for humiliating her at the party months ago.

"So Buffy, I hear you're dating Scott now."

"Really Cordy? Then you heard wrong." Buffy rarely let Cordelia's barbs get to her, usually choosing to dismiss them as the jealous taunts they were.

"Oh. And here I was finally going to congratulate you for moving on with your life rather than waiting around like a loser for a boyfriend that has most likely dumped you. My mistake." Cordelia walked off, smiling at her own wit as the girls with her laughed.

Buffy rolled her eyes and laughed as she looked at Willow. "Oh, brother. Does she really think she's witty?"

Scott had arrived really early, just after the Bronze opened and had been watching the door for Buffy ever since. When he spotted her, he made a beeline for the counter and ordered a mocha. He was just stepping up to her table with it when there was a commotion at the door.

Several shrieks were heard followed by people rushing toward the door. Buffy and Willow looked curiously in that direction, trying to see what was going on.

Buffy's heart sped up and thumped heavily in her chest at the glimpse of a dark head near the door. It couldn't be, could it? She stared, craning her neck to see over the heads crowded around.

"Buffy? Buffy?!" Scott was attempting to get her attention.

"Huh? What?" Buffy looked at him briefly, then looked back toward the door. The crowd of people was slowly moving inward.

"Your mocha. I told you I would…" Scott stopped as Buffy smiled, a huge, radiant smile. Scott smiled, thinking for a brief moment that Buffy was incredibly easy to please if a mocha made her smile like that. Then he noticed that she was looking past him. He turned.

Angel and Spike, followed by Oz and Xander had entered the club, a few excited fans that recognized them causing the commotion.

Buffy watched as Angel scanned the crowd before moving toward her, politely pushing past the remaining few people between them. He looked curiously at Scott who stood between them, his mouth agape.

Cordelia rushed forward and wrapped her arms around Angel, hugging him. "You're back!"

Xander snorted and moved past them toward the bar. Clearly Cordelia was still jonesing for Angel, even after their involvement. Not that he had been exactly faithful to her, but he expected or maybe hoped for a little more consideration.

Oz moved past Angel, as did Spike. Oz hugged and kissed Willow, smiling patiently at her excited response. Angel shrugged out of Cordelia's embrace just as Spike reached Buffy and surprisingly pulled her into his arms.

"Hello pet." Hugging her tightly, he planted a kiss on her lips. He did it for his own enjoyment of course, but also because this new jealousy of Angel's certainly deserved some teasing. Grinning, Spike released her, then shot Angel a quick look before following Xander to the bar.

"Hey." Buffy watched Spike's back with a bemused smile before shaking her head and smiling up at Angel as he stopped in front of her. "I know you…"

Angel reached for Buffy's hand, pulling her toward him. Buffy stepped forward easily and wrapped her arms around his waist, still smiling and looking up at his face as if expecting him to disappear. He draped one arm around her shoulders. "I can't believe you're here. When did you get back? Why didn't you call?"

Noticing their still attentive audience, Angel glanced at Scott with mild inquiry, his brows arched. "Did you want something?" Despite the polite words, the tone was definitely proprietary.

"Um. Well, Buffy and I- I mean, this is for Buffy. And I thought we were- uh, I thought we were going to dance." Scott stammered, feeling a little intimidated by the tall and rather large man looking at him with a somewhat territorial expression.

"You can leave that-" Angel nodded to the mocha in Scott's hand, "on the table if you'd like, but Buffy's busy tonight. Tomorrow night too. In fact, I don't see any openings in the near future…"

Angel returned his gaze to stare down at Buffy, his eyes drifting over her lazily in perusal as if it had been months or years, rather than a few short weeks since he had seen her. He kissed her then, a sweet kiss with heartfelt longing. Buffy's eyes closed the instant his lips met hers, a surge of raw, primitive desire rushing with surprising speed within her. Her arms slid around his neck and she stretched upward against him, angling her head and opening her mouth.

Angel suppressed a groan. It had been far too long since he had kissed her and the middle of the Bronze was not exactly the right place for their reunion. At least, not the kind he had been planning. Raising his head he looked down at her, her eyes were still closed and her lips were moist and still slightly parted.

Buffy opened her eyes, cognizant once again of their very public forum, Angel's arms still wrapped around her. "Mmm. Welcome home."

Angel leaned down to whisper a response in Buffy's ear that made her laugh and blush, then kiss him heatedly again.

Scott finally walked away, disappointed. He was surprised that Buffy had been telling the truth about her boyfriend, but even more astounding was the evidence of their apparently mutual feelings.

Buffy and Angel left the Bronze minutes later with Willow and Oz, the girls stopping by their houses to pick up their things and to tell their mom their respective stories about spending the night at the other's house.

When they reached the guys' house, Buffy and Angel quickly disappeared into his bedroom equally anxious to renew their acquaintance in a much more thorough and intimate fashion.

It was very late that night when Buffy breathed a soft sigh and braced her hands against Angel's shoulders. "No more… I'm sore…"

"Maybe just once more…" Angel, feeling that restless insatiable desire that he always did with Buffy, slid down in the bed, lifting her thighs over his shoulders. As his fingers skimmed across her swollen slit, touching her lightly he murmured. "Mmm… You're so small, baby. So wet and luscious…"

Buffy stirred restlessly, amazed at how easily he provoked her with words alone. With slow gentle licks, he lapped at her soft flesh, teasing and probing. Her fingers twined in his hair, pulling at the short strands and holding him close as he nibbled her clit. She could feel the flood of wetness between her legs as he easily manipulated her desire to his whim.

She whimpered softly when he climbed up her body, feeling only the renewed ache of want, of need. He kissed her with the taste of her on his lips, further igniting her craving for him.

"I love you." Angel's words were a soft murmur against her lips as he slid inside her. Buffy lifted her hips to meet him, moaning softly. There was no pain, no soreness - on the beginning of an ache that only he could satisfy. She clung to him as he moved, twining her arms around his neck and arching against him. When she shuddered around him, he finally poured into her with a release so wild, so tumultuous it left him breathless. He rolled from her but kept her close, their sweat dampened skin sticky to touch. Exhausted, they finally slept.

The Dingoes schedule allow them to be home for the next two months, then Wesley planned for the release of their first single followed shortly by the CD. If all went as planned, they'd be touring the country in the summer as part of the summer and fall BFD concert tour, along with such diverse acts as Incubus and Rob Zombie.

For Buffy and Angel, the time passed quickly. They spent as much time together as their schedules allowed, Buffy having school finals coming up soon to prepare for, Angel having returned to work yet still needing to make time for rehearsals.

It was a sunny May afternoon when a knock sounded at the door. It had only been a week past that Wesley had confirmed the Dingoes addition to the BFD concert tour and the need for the guys to return to LA in a two weeks for rehearsal and the tour kick off. During that call, Wes had made some other suggestions that Angel met with a less than interested reception- although he listened politely and simply said he'd think about it.

"Mrs. Summers. Come in." Angel stepped back from the door and gestured for Joyce to enter. He was surprised, to say the least, at the identity of his afternoon visitor. It was purely by chance that she had caught him at home, he had just been about to head down to his uncle's pub.

"Angel." Joyce entered, frowning at the empty alcohol bottles in the kitchen trash before stepping into the living room.

"I'll get right to the point. I know my daughter cares for you. I think that she even believes herself to be in love with you. And I know that she's sleeping with you." Joyce paused, wondering if Angel would deny any of her statements but not really expecting a response.

"Mrs. Summers-" Angel wasn't sure what he should say, what he could say.

"Which, as much as I don't like it, it's not the reason that I'm here. Perhaps with someone younger, less experienced, she might have waited… I just hope that you both have enough sense to be careful and take precautions. I doubt that your future plans include supporting a pregnant 17 year-old girl," Joyce paused, glancing around the room again.

"Well, I-"Angel felt the need to say something, anything.

"No, I came here because I know that you're leaving soon to go on some tour or something with your band. Buffy tells me that you're going to be gone for 6 months, maybe longer. Do you really think that it's fair that you ask my daughter to wait for you? That she miss out on the best years of high school while you're out having the time of your life?" Joyce turned back toward Angel, her voice perhaps sounding harsher than she intended.

"Do you honestly think you will be faithful to her while you're away for months? And if you aren't, do you understand how much that will break her heart?" Joyce's own feelings of an unfaithful husband surfaced in her tone, making her words angry, hostile.

Angel leaned his hip against the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. His feelings for Buffy were unequivocal. Was it unfair to her, somehow? "I-"

Once again, Joyce cut him off. "Maybe you care about my daughter. I just don't know if you care enough. There are some tough decisions ahead, and if Buffy can't make them, then I hope you can." With that, Joyce turned and left, leaving Angel to ponder her words.

When Buffy arrived at the house a few days later, Angel suggested that they take a walk. Buffy easily acquiesced, but thought the request unusual given that they hadn't seen each other in a few days which normally meant that they'd end up in his room… Regardless, she enjoyed spending time with him anywhere.

"Buffy, we need to talk." Angel regretted each and every word as it came out of his mouth. This was easily one of the hardest things he had ever tried to do.

They had stopped at a small park down the street. Angel walked a few feet away from her, hoping that distance would make this easier. He took a deep breath, before releasing it in a slow expulsion.

That slight internal warning that Buffy had felt when Angel greeted her coolly now sounded again. She knew from Angel's tone, his unwillingness to look her in the eye that something was wrong. She stepped toward him and he stepped back. Another warning. "Angel. What is it? You're scaring me."

"You know I'm leaving soon. The tour." His words were circumlocutional, but Buffy didn't know that. He struggled for words, a first for a man who had easily dismissed more than his share of women.

"Yes. And?"

Angel looked away from her. "The more I think about it, the more I know that us - you and me together - is unfair to you."

"What are you saying?" Buffy swallowed nervously.

"I can't ask you to wait for me while I'm gone. You need to go out, have fun… meet new people." Angel closed his eyes briefly, struggling for composure.

Buffy's voice was a husky whisper. "Are you- Are you breaking up with me?"

"I- yes." The words fell from his lips, flat and toneless.

"What happened to 'we'll make it work'? Was that just some lie you told me to placate me? Were you planning this all along?" Buffy lashed out, wanting to hurt him in return for the pain he was causing her.

"Buffy, you know I-" Angel paused realizing that he couldn't tell her he loved her, not now. "Be practical. I'll be gone for months."

"And you want to see other women. Or should I say screw other women? That's it, isn't it? You're tired of me…"

"It's not that." Angel's voice was quiet, his own heart breaking.

"I love you… I want my life to be with you." Buffy's eyes filled with tears, but she willed herself not to cry.

"I don't." The words were barely more than a whisper as Angel finally met her eyes. He wanted to tell her that he didn't mean any of it, he wanted to take her in his arms and wipe away the pain that he could see on her face. But he couldn't. He had to believe he was doing the right thing for her.

"Did you ever mean it when you said you loved me? Even a little? Or was that just some excuse to get-" Buffy choked on the words. She couldn't wait for his answer. She turned and ran, unwilling to humiliate herself and cry, or even worse, beg him to stay like so many other women in his life had done.

When Willow arrived at her house after Buffy's brief call, Buffy finally gave in to the tears that had been threatening. She poured her heart out to Willow, unable to comprehend Angel's rejection. After Willow left, Buffy cried for hours then closed herself in her room for the next two days, hiding her pain and unhappiness in sleep and ice cream binges.

She tucked away the ring he had given her, along with the cross necklace and all the pictures, cards and letters. She hid them at the bottom of her trunk, unwilling to be reminded of what they had shared.

When she finally emerged to the world, she was a changed person. She no longer believed in love at first sight or even love forever. She was skeptical about the existence of love at all outside the extremes of friendship and lust. The bright light that had always seemed to shine from her now seemed dim. She smiled less and studied more. She signed up for summer school and joined a gym. The less time she had to think about Angel, the easier it would be. Or so she thought.

When Angel arrived back at the house, he closed himself in his room with a bottle of vodka. The next morning when he showered and shaved, he was noticeably different, his mood somber, his words coated with subtle acidity.

Oz knew the reason from Willow's call the previous night, but only mentioned it to Xander and Spike after Angel left.

"Why the bloody hell did he do that?! I was practically expecting wedding bells the way those two carried on." Spike's reaction was stunned surprise, while Xander's was one of casual disinterest. Oz could only shrug. He was dumbfounded, having never suspected this particular turn of events. No one seemed to know why Angel suddenly had a change of heart.

Two days later, Darla just happened to be passing the grocery store when she noticed Angel pull in. She parked next to his jeep and waited for him to exit. She'd already heard the latest gossip - news traveled fast in a small town like Sunnydale - so she knew that he'd finally dumped the little schoolgirl that he'd been seeing. She was just surprised that it lasted so long.

"Darling. Imagine running in to you here." Darla smiled, her voice flirtatious. "I'm so sorry to hear about your recent breakup."

Angel's eyes flitted over Darla's form taking in her short skirt and tight top. When he spoke, his tone was sardonic. "Really?"

"Really, darling. Why don't you come for dinner? We could talk."

"Why don't I fuck you for a few days instead?" He was looking for oblivion, not romance and he was damn sure he'd never find any difficult emotional entanglements with Darla.

"Flattering, Angel. What kind of offer is that?" Darla asked petulantly.

"Yes or no?" Angel sat his grocery bags containing his several bottles of vodka in the passenger seat of the jeep, then climbed in.

"I'm not sure." Darla was still debating her options. He was a fantastic lover, but clearly in the mood he was in she was sure she wouldn't be getting romance and flowers. However, she still felt that familiar flare of heat in her belly.

"Suit yourself." Starting the car, Angel was prepared to drive away.

"Yes, then." Darla blurted out the words, her own heated desire spurring her on. She knew that she wasn't going to be able to keep him, but she couldn't resist the opportunity to try.

Darla drove out of the parking lot with Angel following. They spent the next three days secluded in her house, ordering out for food when necessary. Angel drank constantly, a bottle conveniently within reach even first thing in the morning. Despite the high level of constant inebriation, Darla greatly enjoyed the passionate rewards of Angel's misery and quest for forgetfulness.

When Darla answered the phone the morning of the fourth day, Angel no longer knew what day it was. He no longer cared. He just wanted to forget the blond beauty that persisted in his thoughts, haunted his dreams. His friends and his Uncle Giles, however, had been frantic. They had been searching for him non-stop. It wasn't until a friend of Xander's mentioned that he had seen Angel's jeep at Darla's house the day before that they managed to track him down.

Giles, Spike and Oz arrived at Darla's an hour later. "How is he?" Angel was Giles's first concern. He suspected something terrible if Angel had really taken up with Darla again. Giles had been there to see the fallout, Angel's disappointment, then later his cynical view of relationships.

"He's wonderful, darling. An absolute dream." Darla wore only a tiny silk robe over a small chemise leaving no doubt in anyone's mind regarding the intimacy of the situation.

"I'm fine. Thank you for your hospitality, Darla." Angel walked unsteadily toward the door, the sound of voices stirring him out of his stupor.

Giles was momentarily shocked at Angel's appearance. He was unshaven and noticeably thinner, but most disturbing was the lack of life in his dark eyes. "Well, uh, shall we go then? Angel, why don't you ride with me? Oz and Spike will take your jeep."

Giles said very little to Angel on the drive home, his own thoughts in disarray. He was concerned and angry, not to mention upset that Angel would be so irresponsible. He knew what had happened with Buffy of course, he just didn't think that Angel would have reacted quite this way. His behavior was particularly curious since he was the one that had broken it off.

"Your father-" Giles began, only to have Angel cut him off.

"Don't." Looking out the window, Angel sighed. He felt tired and dirty, but mostly he wanted another drink.

"Would you like some advice?" Giles tried again.

"No. I've had too much already." Angel closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the seat.

Sighing, Giles realized that he'd have to give this more careful consideration.

As Angel looked out on the LA skyline from his hotel room, he took another drink of the vodka he held in his hand. Since Buffy had run out of his life almost 8 months ago, he had continued to resort to alcohol in attempts to suppress the images of blond hair and hazel eyes, of perfect curves and soft sounds of desire that unwilling flooded his mind at inopportune times. It served as a sufficient anesthetic, yet the pain was still there from time to time.

Buffy's mom hadn't been the only one that encouraged Angel to 'do the right thing' at the time. Wesley had suggested politely that Angel 'reconsider his relationship' with Buffy, for her sake. Even his Uncle Giles has questioned him, wondering if Buffy might be a bit too young. The additional opinions, however much they seemed to support his actions, didn't seem to take away any of the feeling that he had perhaps lost something precious.

The tour had gone exceptionally well. The Dingoes were clearly a favorite and their album had landed in the top 30 and was still climbing. Largely due to their success, they continued on and played additional dates in a number of cities. There was talk of some international dates coming up, along with another album. Wes happily predicted only good things ahead. Angel couldn't quite see it.

Last night had been their last scheduled performance. They'd be off until March or April, unless the international dates firmed up earlier. That meant two months of free time - something none of the guys had seen in awhile.

Angel was pretty well drunk when Spike opened the door, knocking as he entered. He glanced at Angel before grabbing an empty glass, and two bottles from the bar. Sitting in the chair across from him, he poured a large amount of gin in his glass, topped it off with a little tonic then raised it in salute. "Well, here's to success and finally finishing one hell of a tour."

Angel nodded in reply and raised his glass, drinking the remainder of the contents.

The two sat and drank companionably, watching the sun slowly set. They laughed over stories of events during the tour, talked about the various cites and the many women. They joked for a while about Faith and her wild ways, although both guys had successfully fended off propositions to experience her first hand. Not an easy task, by any means. After a while, Oz joined then, as did Xander.

"So, what next?" Angel looked at Spike, undecided.

"Me? Well, I'm heading back to Sunnydale. I've had enough hotel living for awhile. Believe it or not, I actually want to do my own laundry and make my own damn cup of coffee for a change." Spike smiled slightly.

"Definitely Sunnydale for me." Oz smiled slightly, thinking about Willow. The long distance hadn't been easy and they had broken up, but they kept in touch and Oz was hopeful that they would be able to work things out.

"Yep. I'm for the 'dale too. If nothing else, I want to have some of my Aunt's cooking. It's terrible, I know. But in a weird way I miss it." Xander smiled and shrugged.

"What about you, mate?" Spike lit a cigarette and poured himself another drink.

"I don't know." Angel looked thoughtfully down at his empty glass.

"She's not seeing anyone." Oz ventured after a long pause. He'd heard from Willow that Buffy had rarely, if ever, dated anyone since Angel. Although recently, she had seemed to warm up to a new guy, a college guy named Riley.

Spike watched for Angel's reaction, knowing instantly when he realized the identity of Oz's 'she', and confirming what he had suspected all along. Angel was still head over heels in love with the little blond.

Angel stood abruptly, heading for the bathroom. As he stared in the mirror, he found himself obsessing about her again. He thought himself over her, somewhat, having proceeded to occupy himself with old familiar habits, but it only took the slightest scent of vanilla or the sight of a particular shade of blond hair and the memories would return, brilliant and provocative. What could he say to her, if he returned? Would she ever forgive him? Could he live with himself if he didn't try to see her again, to make things right?

Finally reaching a decision, Angel splashed water on his face. He felt optimistic, maybe for the first time in months. Opening the door, he strode back into the room. "What time are we leaving then?"

Spike grinned. "Well, it's about goddamn time."

Buffy walked slowly up the street to the coffee shop for her usual Saturday shift. She had been working there for the past few months, saving money for college and hopefully a car. And, it fit right along with her plan to fill her every waking hour with activity so as not to think about Angel.

For the most part, her plan was working. Except at night, where she had no control. Sometimes he would appear in her dreams as a brief flash, a buried memory perhaps or a subtle wish for what might have been. Other dreams were real and vivid, detailed recollections of his touch, his smell, his taste. Buffy would wake from these dreams panting and aroused, stifling the urge to scream his name. It was after repeated nights of these dreams when she finally succumbed to the urge to masturbate. She could close her eyes and pretend he was there…

Buffy suppressed a smile, her cheeks warming in a slight blush. It had certainly helped her get through those first few painful months. And, while she certainly didn't forget about him, the sheer number of activities she had committed herself to allowed the memories to stay tucked away.

She had just turned the corner when Riley stepped out of the bookstore in front of her. He smiled, always happy to see her. "Hi."

"Hi." Buffy returned his smile. She met him a few weeks ago when he and his friends came into the coffee shop. He had come back several times since, making small talk with her or just hanging out and reading.

When Riley didn't reply, Buffy pointed past him to the coffee shop. "Sorry. Work. Gotta go."

Riley watched her for a moment as she walked past, then turned and walked quickly to catch up. Blurting out his thoughts before he lost the nerve, he asked the question that had been on his mind. "Would you go out with me on Friday?"

Buffy looked up at Riley. He was cute, more than cute with his sandy hair and blue eyes, his tall muscular body. It wasn't the instant attraction she had felt with- no, Buffy, not good, don't even go there… but then again, maybe that was better. It would be… less risky. Still turning over the idea in her mind, Buffy noticed someone waving out of the corner of her eye. It was Jenny, on her way to Giles's pub, which was just down the street.

Jenny often stopped in the coffee shop, but through mutual unspoken agreement, she and Buffy never talked about anything other than the most mundane topics; the weather, the latest clothing trends, current coffee flavors. In other words, anything other than the lead singer of the Dingoes.

Buffy waved back then took a deep breath. The sooner she got on with her life, the better, right? "Um. Ok. Sure. What time?"

Since the guys gave up their lease during the months of the tour, the first line of business after arriving in Sunnydale was finding a place to stay. Xander planned to stay with his aunt and uncle, at least for a few days, Oz was staying with his parents while Spike and Angel were crashing at Giles's.

Angel, reinvigorated after two days of sobriety, set to work with anxious energy. He rented a house in an exclusive Sunnydale neighborhood that was, he noted with some satisfaction, near the college. He knew from Oz through Willow that Buffy had decided to attend UC Sunnydale in the fall, so the location was chosen with specific intent.

The house was a California Spanish style with three bedrooms, a large living room with a fireplace and a big window that looked out on to an undeveloped, grassy hillside. The bright sunny kitchen was newly remodeled and the hardwood floors throughout the house had been buffed to a rich amber shine. He had used every little bit of clout he possessed, not to mention the payment of a year's rent in advance to close the deal within a day.

The only thing Angel wanted to change about the house was the master bedroom, which he repainted 'latte' tan, the exact shade of the room he and Buffy had shared at the Santa Monica Fairmont. That weekend was one of his happier memories - and he was hopefully optimistic that the recreation of the room would bring about many more. After a few calls to the hotel, he managed to locate a plantation style four-poster bed that was identical to the one at the hotel, along with a dresser and armoire. He had just been reviewing his work with a critical eye for detail when he heard a knock at the door followed by Giles's voice.

Giles had brought over Chinese take-out, knowing that Angel had been moving and working around the house all day, so had probably forgotten to eat. Angel showed Giles around, then they made themselves comfortable on the living room floor to eat. Angel was barefoot and shirtless, having left his any additional clean clothes at Giles's house in his haste to get started early this morning.

They talked for a while about the tour, Angel telling sufficiently edited tales of the guy's exploits on the road. They moved on to the next steps for the band, including Wes's plans for some dates overseas and a next album, and finally they talked about the house.

"Your mother was young, you know." Giles hesitantly began, having an idea of what was motivating Angel even though the younger man hadn't made any mention of his plans.

Angel looked at Giles curiously. They had talked about his parents at various times over the last 18 years of course, but this was something new.

"They met just after your father had started his second year at the architecture firm in Dublin. I was working in London at the time, doing some research for the Natural History museum." Smiling at the memory, Giles glanced out the window.

Angel knew that even though his father and Giles had not been related by blood, they considered themselves brothers. They had attended boarding schools together since they were 8, followed by high school and then college. Common interests as well as inattentive parents brought them together. It had been his father's wish that Giles raise Angel, even though Angel had relatives in Ireland that would have gladly taken him in.

"Let's see. Oh yes. There was a Celtic music festival - your dad always loved music, you know - and she was there. The minute he saw those green eyes, Patrick talked of nothing else. She was beautiful, your mother. Young though. Only 16. And he was 26. Her parents, quite naturally, discouraged his interest. "

"He would go to visit her or they would meet somewhere. Your aunt Elisabeth, a romantic at heart, was often an accomplice in helping Claire to meet your father. Well, it of course happened that one day Claire became pregnant. She must have been 17 by then." Giles paused, taking another bite of chow mein.

"Patrick was overjoyed. Claire's parents were not. They eloped, marrying in a small church in Scotland. It was a beautiful ceremony."

Angel recalled seeing the few photographs of his parents wedding. The bright smiles despite the apparent overcast gray skies. It now made sense why his maternal grandparents were not in any of the pictures.

"When your mother miscarried a month later, they were devastated. But, they seemed to find strength together. It was five or so years later, of course, before you were born." Giles sobered, remembering those days so many years ago. "I'm sure they wanted more children, but they were also adventurers. Traveling for various projects. Your father designed buildings all over the world, you know."

Angel shifted uncomfortably on the hard floor. He remembered his parents as energetic and fun loving people. Always laughing, always playing games with him. Giles's words were filling him with regret that they were taken from him so early.

"They were happy, your parents. And very much in love. In the twelve years that they were together, I never knew them to argue." Realizing that he had become somewhat maudlin, Giles cleared his throat.

"Actually, where I was going with this when, uh, I started… Your father, well, he believed in love at first sight. The idea that each person has a soul mate. I always laughed, calling him a hopeless romantic and he always said I was much too logical. He always told me to stop thinking so much and follow my heart. That'd I'd be much happier if I did. For what it's worth now, I think you might want to consider his advice…" Giles cleared his throat again, feeling somewhat emotional. Angel so looked like his father, too.

"Thank you. For telling me." Angel glanced out the window and looked back at Giles. "And I think I might do just that. Let's just hope it's not too late."

When Friday rolled around, Angel was finally ready to make his move. On the way to Buffy's house, he picked up the bouquet of white lilies and red roses that he had ordered earlier in the week.

Joyce was surprised when she opened the door, not expecting to see Angel in town, much less at her doorstep. She frowned as she noticed the flowers in his hand, clearly a sign that he had changed his mind about his relationship with her daughter. Joyce informed him in icy terms that Buffy had gone to the Bronze before closing the door, practically in his face. Angel sighed. He knew this wasn't going to be easy.

When he arrived at the Bronze, he hadn't envisioned her on a date. Maybe with Willow or maybe some other girls, but not with another guy. And certainly not dancing.

Taking immediate offense, his jealousy never within reasonable bounds where Buffy was concerned, he had to force himself to respond civilly to the few fans that recognized him. Angel smiled politely, uttered a few courteous replies and signed several autographs before he was able to break away from the crowd.

He stood in a quiet corner and watched the unpleasant sight of his lover with another man, no, make that boy, smiling and laughing as her body moved seductively to the music. He was no longer in the mood to pursue her with romantic gestures and gentle words. Rather, he was seriously considering the much more primitive option of simply carrying her away.

Willow, who had just returned from the ladies room, spotted Angel immediately leaning against the wall, a disturbing look in his eyes as he stared at the dance floor. She glanced nervously toward Buffy, feeling a little uncomfortable now that she hadn't told Buffy that the guys were back in town. She was curious though, why Angel was here. Oz hadn't mentioned anything when she had talked with him earlier.

Willow didn't have long to wonder about his motives, as Angel soon pushed away from the wall and made his way slowly out onto the dance floor where Buffy and Riley were still moving to the music.

The crowd parted easily for him even as the whispers began. He was a recognizable face in Sunnydale, even more so with the band's recent popularity, but they would have moved aside for him regardless due to the intense expression on his face.

Buffy wasn't aware of him until he was quite close behind her, Riley's quizzical look alerting her to the fact more so than the gaping crowd. When she turned, the smile on her face fled abruptly.

"Buffy." The music had not stopped, yet she heard him clearly. She was more beautiful than his memory, although she seemed slightly thinner now. The pale yellow dress she wore outlined her curves and emphasized the tan of her skin. Her hair was pulled up on her head, the length hidden.

"Angel." Buffy thought her heart was going to stop beating, so unexpected was his appearance. He was just as she remembered - tall, dark and gorgeous, with an allure so potent she could feel the familiar ache stir in her body. No one had the power to affect her so easily.

Impulsively, Angel reached out and took Buffy's hand. He wanted to talk to her away from the staring eyes, the pounding music, and most of all, away from the boy she was with. He turned and pulled her along behind him.

He'd only gone two steps when a hand clamped hard on Angel's shoulder. "She may not want to go with you."

"Ask her." Angel jerked his shoulder free and turned back to face Riley, his stance combative.

"Riley, please. I'm just going to talk to Angel for a few minutes." Buffy quickly intervened, sure that Angel was not beyond starting an all out brawl on the dance floor. When he started walking again, she wasn't even sure why she followed him so easily.

"Then I'll come." Riley started to follow, unintimidated and feeling protective of Buffy.

Buffy plowed into Angel's back as he stopped abruptly, hearing Riley's words.

"Angel, no. Please. Not here." Only because he could not refuse her, Angel backed up and slowly unclenched his jaw. Riley, in turn, lowered the fist that had been raised. The music had stopped now and the tension in the air was noticeable as everyone watched the two men face off.

"There' s no need to go all mister macho guy here, Riley. Angel and I are just going to talk. We're old, er, friends." Buffy dismissed him and turned back to Angel. She wanted out of the attention that was now centered on them. Buffy was looking away and missed Angel's smirk as he glanced back at Riley.

She had to quicken her pace to keep up with Angel's long legged stride as he took her hand again and moved across the room toward the door. Neither of them said a word, anxious to get past the curious stares. Jerking away from him just outside the door, Buffy stopped.

"What do you want?" Her temper was up, her emotions high. How dare he walk back into her life now and drag her away. Buffy struggled into her jacket.

"You." His answer was simple and direct. And it took her completely by surprise.

"You left me. Your choice, if I remember correctly." Gathering her scattered thoughts, Buffy coolly replied.

"My mistake, you mean." His words were soft, sincere.

Buffy wasn't sure how to reply, her nerves on edge. Her heart was pounding and her thoughts were a chaotic jumble.

Angel sighed softly at her silence. "I want to show you something. Come with me?"

Buffy looked at him for a long moment, uncertain.

"Please?"

Buffy stared at his face, his expression so schoolboy innocent that she couldn't resist. As if she had ever been able to refuse him… She sighed with resignation and followed Angel to his car.

Angel grinned in victory after he closed Buffy's door on the jeep, feeling increasingly confident of willing a return of her affections. Hell, she didn't even ask about Riley before they drove off - surely a positive sign.

They drove in silence to the house he rented, Angel leading Buffy inside after they arrived.

"You've got to be kidding me. You want to show me your bedroom?! What are you thinking?! That'd I just-just hop in bed with you like all the others, you arrogant asshole!" Buffy shrieked in anger as Angel grimaced. He sincerely hoped that the neighbors weren't home, because surely they all would have heard her.

"No! Buffy. No. It's not like that." Angel grabbed her arm as she started to back out. "Please. Just hold on - I'll explain."

Buffy jerked away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked at him angrily for a few minutes before she calmed and actually glanced at the room. She recognized it immediately. She was once again assailed by contradictory feelings, wanting to hate him but finding it increasingly hard to do now that he was here, close to her.

"I missed you. Every day." His words were soft, close to her ear as he stood beside her.

Buffy closed her eyes against the rush of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. "You left me."

"A mistake. I want to make it up to you."

"I don't know if you can." Her voice sounded small, as if it were coming from a distance. She couldn't open her eyes, she couldn't look at him.

"Let me try."

Could she trust him?

"How do I know that you won't change your mind next time you're going on tour? Or next time my Mom says something else to scare you off?" Buffy finally opened her eyes and turned to face him, wondering if he'd admit to what she already knew.

"You knew about that?" Angel looked down somewhat sheepishly.

"Mom couldn't resist bragging when she had one too many long island ice teas at dinner one night. It was too late though, you were long gone." Buffy sighed and moved slowly into the room, stopping to run her hand along the carved post of the bed, tracing the pattern.

"It really hurt, you know. You made a decision about our future without me. Rather than talk to me, you simply let my Mom decide what was best for us."

"It wasn't just your Mom, Buffy. I thought I was doing the right thing for you. It wasn't what I wanted by any stretch of the imagination." Angel followed Buffy into the room, watching as she moved slowly around the bed to examine the armoire.

"And now? Are you saying you changed your mind?" Buffy looked at him from the mirror, her reflection serious.

"Yes. I missed you. More than I ever thought possible. And Giles. Well, he told me a story about my parents. Seems there might be a few parallels to my own life. And he passed along some advice from my father that I would be wise not to ignore."

"Such as?" Buffy stood at the window now, looking out into the night.

"Such as love at first sight. Such as following my heart."

Her heart constricted at his words. Had he really come for her? Once more she felt a flutter of nervous expectation. She turned to face him.

"But how can I trust you to not hurt me again, Angel? What if you decide later that what' s right for me isn't being with me? I wanted to die when you left…" Her words were a soft whisper, intense with emotion.

Angel walked toward her cautiously, as one would walk toward a skittish colt, afraid she might bolt. Her words were like a knife in his heart. He regretted hurting her. Reaching out, he slowly took her hand and caressed it before raising it to his lips.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry I hurt you. If I could take it all back I would." He inched closer, his other hand slowly coming to rest on her waist.

Buffy studied his face. He was as gorgeous as ever, she thought. Still. Always.

"I heard about- about Darla. About the girls on the tour." She watched his face, wondering if he would deny it.

Angel shrugged dismissively and looked away, wishing he could make her understand how different sex was with anyone else. How little anyone else mattered.

"Angel?" It wasn't enough. Buffy needed more clarification than a casual dismissal. She felt a sharp stabbing pain coupled with jealous anger at the thought of sharing him.

"I'm sorry, if that helps. Very sorry. I wish I could say something different." Angel looked into her eyes, uncertain now and without arrogance.

After a long silence, Buffy placed her hands on his biceps. She squeezed and took a deep breath, wondering briefly if she was out of her mind.

"What happens when you leave again?" With him so close, she was dangerously close to simply throwing caution to the wind and ignoring any doubts still lingering in her mind. But she warned herself to be sensible. She needed to think with her head instead of her heart.

"I'll come back for you, always. Or I'll pack you up and take you with me. I bet you'll even fit as carry on." He smiled slightly, his eyes dancing with amusement. Her words gave him hope.

"That's not what I meant."

His gaze moved slowly over her face taking in each feature. She was undeniably beautiful, but it wasn't just her beauty that moved him. He needed her. Without her, the future seemed less bright, less interesting.

"I know how to say no." His voice was a low murmur, his face serious. He knew what reassurance she was looking for.

She studied him, searching for any sign that would give lie to his words. She inhaled deeply.

"If you fuck around, I'll kill you. Well, maybe not kill you but at least rip off your-" Angel effectively stopped her words with a searing kiss. His arms slid around her to pull her hard against him, crushing her body into his. Gradually he reigned in his impatience and his kisses changed to slow, deep seductive ones that lured and enticed as she melted against him.

Lifting his head, he looked down at her face. Her eyes were half closed, her lips moist and parted. Unwarranted jealousy flared at the thought of anyone else seeing Buffy like this. "I'll expect the same from you."

"I know how to say no too." Her body a contradiction to her words, her hips now moving in a slow, gliding rotation against him.

"And when would that be?" His hands slipped around to her bottom and he massaged the firm flesh. He had no way of knowing that Buffy's response to him was unique.

"Maybe I happen to find *you* irresistible. Want me to change that? Should I start saying no now?" She smiled as her hands slid up to his neck, her fingertips teasing the short hairs on his nape.

"No. Never. Not at all. And not to me." Kissing her again, his tongue licking her bottom lip before sliding inside to explore her mouth. Lifting her in his arms, he moved toward the bed.

"You were careful right? No babies or diseases?" Buffy yanked at his shirt, tearing the buttons as she pushed it back over his shoulders.

Angel stopped short, her blunt words giving him momentary pause. "Yes. Always." And he had been, his own sense of self-preservation strong. Besides, to his credit Wes was meticulous about keeping the band healthy. He insisted on routine physicals, which included the occasional blood test and rather embarrassing personal exam that ensured that no one picked up anything 'undesirable'. When Spike complained, Wesley simply showed him the contract that he had signed, agreeing to such measures.

However, a new and unwelcome thought crossed Angel's mind. "You?" The word came out churlish, brusque.

Buffy glanced at his face. "Yes, I was careful." Her smile was teasing, playful, but she felt a small degree of revenge at the ambiguous statement.

"Buffy…" His voice was a growl, the idea that Buffy might have been with someone else igniting his temper. It was irrational, he knew, given his own behavior, but then he had never felt anything near reasonable when Buffy was concerned.

"Remind me to introduce you to my friend, mister pink vibrator. He was quite, um, shall we say, friendly while you were gone." Even as she said the words, Buffy blushed.

"Hmmm…" Angel grinned, sat Buffy on the edge of the bed and pulled off her shoes. "Definitely introduce me. I'd love for you to show me how he 'entertained' you…" Angel, already hard, was near bursting at the thought of Buffy with a vibrator. Easily he tossed her further up on the bed as she giggled.

Buffy pulled off her jacket and yanked her dress over her head as Angel stared down at her with an expression that could only be described as hungry. Spreading her legs, she displayed herself for his view. He kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his pants, slipping them off before crawling predatorily up the bed toward her, clad only in black boxers.

Buffy unhooked her bra and flung it off the bed. Holding her legs together and raising them in the air, she slid her panties off and tossed them at him. Catching them, he inhaled her fragrance, a familiar scent of vanilla and musk that he adored.

Her hands slid down his ribs as he moved over her, then impatiently she gripped his boxers and tugged them down. "I can't wait… It's been too long…" He had left them on, thinking that they would help to slow the pace, but at her impassioned plea all his thoughts of prolonging their reunion flew out the window.

Without any additional preliminaries, he slid inside her. His eyes closed as feelings of belonging, contentment assailed him. He had her back. She was his.

Buffy clung to him as he moved, hot desire coursing through her veins. How did she ever think she could live without him?

Angel moved his hands to her bottom, guiding her to meet each thrust.

"Love… you." She was seconds from climax, the words coming out in a gasping breath, as her thoughts were no longer based on anything remotely resembling reality. Moments later she felt it, the explosive ecstasy, the passionate delirium of orgasm. It had been too long…

He felt the same wild rush of pleasure, the intemperate need. His fingers bit into her hips as he moved harder, pushing them both forward, moving higher on the bed. It was ravishment, fierce and obsessive and completely out of his control. He surged forward, the throbbing release of his orgasm pouring into her. Panting heavily, he collapsed against her.

Blissful and satiated, her senses pleasantly numb as she floated in his arms, Buffy sighed. This was heaven… Suddenly her eyes opened with a snap. "Oh god. Riley."

"Not flattering, sweetheart." Angel murmured, holding her close as he rolled over taking her with him. She sprawled across his body, half on top of him.

Angel kissed the top of her head, his eyes still closed. He was content for the moment.

"No, I forgot completely about him. I said I would be back…" Buffy lightly socked his chest as she glanced toward the clock. She groaned.

Angel opened his eyes, his erection stirring restlessly at her subtle movements. His gaze traveling slowly from her face to her chest, where it stopped, arrested by the sight of her pink nipples. Rolling her once again on her back, his lips on her upper chest, he murmured. "He'll have to wait…" When his lips latched on to her nipple, Buffy whimpered. "I'm obsessed with you. And I have months to make up for…"

It seemed that he was not content for long, his body and soul starved for her from the months of deprivation. He craved her taste, her touch, her smell, but she wanted him with equal fervor. They made love that night with reckless abandon, at time tender and playful, other times with desperate need and finally with a soul-stirring intensity that left them breathless.

When the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, they drowsed languorously in each other's arms.

"I was thinking, maybe you could move in here with me. After you graduate of course." His hand was slowly tracing circles on her back.

"Um." Buffy only murmured unintelligibly against his chest. "Talk later. Sleep now."

"I love you, Buffy." His words were soft, but she heard them and smiled against his chest. It would all work out, somehow. They'd make it.

Epilogue

Six months later Buffy did move in with Angel, although he was unaware of it at the time because he was away on tour. She had tired of her mother's drinking and constant complaining, and when Ethan had moved in the house just seemed too crowded.

When he was away, Angel called often and sent postcards from every city. When she could join him, he sent her tickets. And when she couldn't, he came home even if it was just for a day or two. They made sure they were never apart for longer than a month at a time.

When they married three years later, Buffy was 6 weeks pregnant with their first child. When Patrick was born, Joyce visited and they finally mended their relationship.

The Dingoes continued rise in popularity also subjected them to additional media attention and scrutiny. Buffy had groaned unhappily when Willow arrived at their house with the latest gossip magazine. They had published pictures obviously taken by peeking paparazzi of Angel kissing his very pregnant and bikini-clad wife during a vacation in the Bahamas while Patrick played near by. The caption was rude, wondering how Buffy could attract such amorous attention from her "hunky" husband even while so obviously pregnant.

"What? You look good." Angel looked over her shoulder, smiling and unconcerned, before sliding his arms around her. Resting his hands on the enormous mound of her stomach, he nuzzled her ear. She laughed when he whispered something suggestive and drew his head down for a kiss. Which, of course, led Willow to tease them further. A month later Buffy gave birth to twins, Brandon and Connor.

Buffy didn't get the girl she wanted until four years later when Chelsea was born, six weeks early. Angel had abruptly left the MTV music awards show when he received the call that his wife was in labor, but even with his haste he didn't make it in time for the delivery. He was teasing and apologetic to Buffy as he held his newborn daughter, before tenderly chastising her for not waiting for his arrival.

They bought and remodeled a house in LA, a sprawling estate with plenty of room for the children and a studio on the premises for the band. Angel did buy the house in Sunnydale where he and Buffy first lived. They stay there when they visit Giles or friends, as the house holds many happy memories for them.

The Dingoes stayed together, despite the difficulties over the years, and enjoyed considerable success.

Xander struggled with drug and alcohol addiction before finally seeking help. After two stints in rehab he finally managed to stay clean and sober. A few years later her married a former Playboy Playmate, Anya. They settled in Pacific Palisades with their 2 children.

Oz never married, although he dates often. He donates time with several charitable organizations around the world, and often travels as a peace ambassador when the band is on break. He has a house in Sunnydale, but loves his somewhat nomadic existence.

Spike started his own record label and is often the man behind many of the new popular acts that are breaking on to the music scene. He and Druscilla married and divorced, but now share joint custody of their son, Sean. Spike prefers his homes in New York and London, but still spends considerable time in LA, usually staying with Angel and Buffy.

Willow got her Ph.D. and became a professor at Stanford. She and Buffy are still close, getting together every six months for a girl's weekend in Big Sur, Carmel or Catalina. Tara, Willow's partner of three years, recently opened a bed and breakfast in Santa Cruz.

Giles and Jenny eventually married, and he still runs his pub in Sunnydale. Each year he considers retiring but doesn't. They adore the children, spending time with Buffy and Angel's kids as often as possible.

Oh, and Cordelia? She left Sunnydale in hopes of becoming an actress or model. After several unsuccessful auditions, she turned to the adult entertainment industry. Her twelve movies have been enormously popular, and she has been the winner of the Adult Video Film starlet of the year award for the last two consecutive years…

The End

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