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Buffy was sitting on her front lawn when Graham pulled up. She jumped up and grabbed her backpack - full-body-pack was more like it - and threw it in the trunk of the car before getting in.

Riley had offered her a ride, but given that his parents and kids were dropping him off, she had passed - it seemed to be a family thing. They had all - even Kate - been very generous in sharing him over the last few days; but she'd have him for the next three weeks. They should be able to at least see him off without her hanging around.

Graham laughed and shook his head as he pulled out of the driveway. "If Sarah had her way, she'd probably throw me a party every time I go away for more than a night, but Josh barely even says bye, and Sam isn't really old enough yet. Maybe if Mitch were back from camp, but no, I don't get the same send off."

"Most of them are unattached," he said, shrugging. "Or they're hooked up with someone else in the division."

Another shrug. "It's a tough business to be in - it's not like they have a lot of other options. Besides, they're all adults. They can pretty much do what they want."

He replied, "When Riley came to Boston, he made sure we'd be able to do things our way. He said too many people had sacrificed too much and he wanted some leeway. Surprisingly enough, Washington lets us run things the way we want for the most part. It's taken a while, but we've found a good balance."

She nodded and looked out the window, fully understanding how difficult it was to sustain any kind of normal life given the business they were in. And, as she had learned the hard way, strong relationships made this life livable. Without Willow and Angel and Xander and Giles? Definitely not livable; nor, possibly, lived, given that they'd had her back for so long. But, yeah - it was tough to find friends like that, friends who could be trusted. Finding lovers wasn't nearly as hard, unless you actually wanted them to be friends, too. Finding someone who could fill both roles, though, that was the brass ring. Finding someone human - golden.

Dawn had managed, as had Giles. Riley and Sam had figured it out; Graham, too. And once - a long time ago - Buffy had been close, but the timing hadn't been right. Things were different now.

"How did you meet Sarah?" Buffy asked, curious about how Graham and Sarah had come to be. "She wasn't at Sunnydale, was she? I think I would have remembered her."

He smiled and shook his head. "Met her the summer after I left. They put most of us Initiative guys in D.C. while they figured out what to do; her dad ran a coffee shop in my neighborhood. I think I'm still on a high from all the caffeine I had that summer."

"Riley and I didn't really talk much that summer," Graham said, suddenly serious. "Not after the hearing, at least. And you guys were so caught up in each other - it never really seemed the time."

Right. So caught up in how happy everything was that they'd never noticed the foundation crumbling away, just beneath the surface. Such a wonderful summer; such a horrible fall. New subject. She asked, "So what's the deal with Brooks? He and Riley are kind of weird around each other."

There were several minutes of silence. Buffy didn't speak again until they'd gotten on the highway. "So?"

Graham avoided her gaze. "If Riley's decided he doesn't want to talk about it, what makes you think I will?"

Good question, Buffy thought. Not overly hard to come up with an answer though: "Because you put Brooks on our team. And if there's something going on there that will affect the way they work together, then I should know about it." It wasn't exactly asking who on the squad was sleeping together, but it came pretty close.

She smiled when Graham sighed. Thank you, Ana, for a perfectly reasonable explanation for being really nosy.

"For the record," Graham said, "they work together just fine; I wouldn't have put them on the same team if that weren't the case. Besides - Brooks is really good, probably the best we've got after Riley. If it weren't for this whole profile thing, he'd be one of the team leaders, but." Graham let his voice trail off as he shrugged. "I want him watching Riley's back."

Buffy decided to interpret that as Graham stacking the deck in Riley's favor instead of as a complete lack of confidence in her ability to keep Riley safe. Or as a complete lack of trust. She wasn't going to touch that one though.

She also happened to notice that he had avoided answering her question. She cleared her throat loudly.

"O.k., o.k.," Graham said, giving in. "Brooks was the guy who brought Sam in. I think he fell for her right away. I'm not sure how Sam felt, but they were always really tight."

Well that was interesting. Almost interesting enough, emphasis on 'almost.' "So when Riley came into the picture." she said, nudging Graham along. Guys never knew how to tell the full story. "Isn't the Air Force base at least twenty minutes away? I can bug you about this the whole way or you can just tell me and get it over with."

Graham laughed as he shook his head. "It was pretty clear that something was going on between Riley and Sam. Brooks stepped back, didn't make an issue of it. I think Riley's always felt a little guilty."

"Brooks is a lot like Riley - all noble and shit. He wasn't going to stand in their way."

Buffy looked down, feeling a sudden affinity for Brooks. She remembered that moment in Sunnydale, standing there with Riley outside the magic shop, knowing Sam was on the other side of the door - Buffy had wanted so badly to tell him that she hadn't just let him leave, that she had come after him. But that would have created so many complications; better to let him live the life he had built without her, a life that clearly made him happy. It was the first time in a long time that she had finally done the right thing.

It didn't take away the hurt, though - that Riley had not only left her, but that he had found someone to take her place so quickly. Not that he didn't have good reasons to leave; and not that he didn't have good reasons for falling in love with Sam.

Even if he had stayed, would things have really turned out much differently? It wasn't as though at nineteen she was even close to being ready for, well, as Xander had put it - the long haul.

Logic, however, didn't come into play in matters like this - this wasn't about what was in her head, it was all about heart. The fact that fifteen years had passed didn't change anything: Riley had married Sam, not her. And he had figured out that Sam was what he wanted in record time, considering they'd already been married for four months by the time they came to Sunnydale.

Graham didn't answer right away. He glanced at her and then looked away before saying, "If he had asked you, would you have said 'yes'?"

Graham kept his eyes on the road and his voice steady as he said, "You heard what I said."

Buffy's eyes went to the floor; for a moment there, she had forgotten who she was talking to, and as much as she'd like to, she couldn't exactly say that what he was asking was too personal considering the questions she'd posed only moments before. Nor could she respond with an indignant 'yes,' because that would have been a lie.

But she wouldn't say that the answer would have been a flat out 'no,' either, because there had been times during that year together that she was sure she'd spend the rest of her life with Riley, short as that life may be. She just had failed to mention that to Riley.

She was glad that Graham's response was silence - she didn't want to hear that because of her, Riley had come *this* close to losing everything he had ever worked for, or that he had almost died in some nameless jungle on the other side of the world. Nor did she want to hear how happy he had been with Sam, that Buffy's letting him go was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Because she was sure that Graham would have been perfectly justified in saying any of those things; she had thought them countless times herself.

So why was it, exactly, that she cared so much about how things had played out with Sam? It wouldn't have changed anything that had happened all those years ago, the mistakes they had made would have been made, regardless. And if Riley had come back without a wife, could Buffy honestly say that they would have lived happily ever after? Unlikely. No, the only reason they even had a chance now was that they had each been through so much, and without everything they'd already lost, how would they know what they had to gain?

And yet, she still had this need to know how he and Sam had come together so quickly; what he had seen in Sam that he hadn't seen in Buffy. She thought she'd be able to get beyond that, given how wonderful the last two weeks had been, but the more time that passed, the more she realized that there was still an ache in her heart, one that wouldn't go away until those questions were answered.

Graham didn't say anything as they arrived at the base - neither of them was in the mood for small talk, and Buffy was still too caught up in her own thoughts to care about being good company. Besides, he had hated her for all this time, what was another hour or two?

Riley came over to the car as Graham was lifting Buffy's backpack out of the trunk. "Well, you guys look like you had a great ride," Riley said, stating what was so clearly not the case. Hell, he could practically feel the ice crystals forming between them.

Graham nodded and walked towards the helicopter. Riley reached out for Buffy's pack.

"I can carry it," Buffy said curtly, grabbing it and slinging it over her shoulders.

"O-kay," Riley said, drawing the word out as she started walking in the direction Graham had gone. Riley followed, not having much of a choice. "So, are you going to come out with it? Or would you rather let it stew until you're really angry? Just so you know - I've tried that before. Doesn't work out so-"

She cut him off as she stopped and turned to face him. "How long did you know Sam before you asked her to marry you?"

"Oh." He had been wondering when that question would come up. Thought it might be in a setting a little more conducive to the conversation though. A hundred yards away from the helicopters that would be lifting off in about five minutes was not exactly ideal. "Technically, she asked me," he said.

"How long?" Buffy asked again, not entirely appeased. Although it did take a little of the sting away to find out that Riley hadn't been the one to actually ask.

Buffy recoiled at his tone. His voice was like a cold, steel knife, cutting through the haze of her discontent. Putting the conversation on another level entirely. Because what he really meant was, should he have waited for her. For Buffy to decide what it was she had really wanted.

"What do you want me to say?" Riley asked quietly. "Sorry? Is that really enough? Would that really have been enough?"

The fight drained out of her. Even if she hadn't seen the pain in his eyes, just hearing his voice would have been enough. How was it possible for something so beautiful to be so heart-breaking? "Riley."

"I. I don't know." The hesitation in her voice was thunderous, speaking the words she couldn't quite say.

She closed her eyes, hoping that would somehow stop the tears from falling. Opened her eyes when she heard footsteps approaching.

"Yes, sir." The soldier retreated, heading back towards the helicopter and the few men who hadn't yet climbed in.

When he was out of hearing distance, Buffy said, "I'm sorry. I thought I had gotten over all that. I guess not."

Buffy was struck by the emotion in his eyes. It wasn't as though the subject hadn't come up in the past couple of weeks, but they'd barely skirted the surface, acknowledging that they both accepted responsibility for what had happened between them; that neither felt the other was fully to blame. She hadn't, however, seen that look before. One she didn't quite understand.

But she'd deal with that later. This talk had been too long in coming. It needed to be had. Her heart needed healing. She said, "Six months, huh?"

Her head was screaming: let this be. Just let the past stay in the past and be happy with what they had going for them now. Just lock away that tiny little - and yet, oh, so big - question that had been niggling at her for fifteen years. Lock it away and never actually ask, "Why was that enough with her and not with me?"

She hated that her voice sounded so small and sad, and that she couldn't stop the tears from spilling down her face. Hated that it hurt so much even after all this time. How could it still hurt so much?

Pained, his eyes still focused on something off in the distance, he said, "What makes you think that wasn't enough?"

"You *left* me, Riley. Wasn't I worth fighting for?" She wanted to pound his chest and make him yell, to grab him and force him to look at her, but she was afraid of what she might see given the raw, honest emotions boiling over for the first time.

Hurt and self-doubt intermingled with anger as she spoke. "Then what was it like, exactly? I didn't need you enough? Was that it?"

Riley's eyes were blazing as he turned to her. "Would you have wanted me to stay? The way I was back then? What good could that possibly have done? How much longer do you really think we would have lasted?" The fire went out as he said, "I had nothing to offer you."

"I didn't want an *offering*, I just wanted you," she said, somewhat chastened when he responded not with anger, but with anguish. Aching, now that she was beginning to understand that look, to understand how much he still despised himself for what had happened. How he still didn't quite believe that she had never felt the same way.

Because she didn't really - it was so much more complicated than that. She'd been confused, yes, and more than a little angry. Never, however, did she despise him. That part she'd saved for herself. For the things she'd never been able to do and say, the things that would have shown how much she'd cared. How much she'd loved.

"Right," he answered, defeated but without bitterness. "That was exactly what you wanted."

"Could this conversation be over for now?" he asked, shaking her off. "There's a lot that needs to get done today."

It appeared that they were the only ones left on the tarmac. Riley started walking.

She followed after him. "I didn't expect the helicopter to be this big," she mumbled, not sure what else to say. He clearly didn't want to be talking anymore, but she felt a need to fill the silence. Well, not quite total silence considering the engines had begun to warm up. Still."The other one was much smaller."

"Not the one with Sam," Buffy said, cutting him off. "The other one. When you left for Belize."

Buffy stopped as well, realizing that he seemed confused, as though he had heard what she said, but didn't quite understand it. Or maybe he did understand it, but he refused to let himself believe. "Maybe we would have lasted," she said sadly. "I'm not saying that everything would have been perfect, but maybe we could have helped each other figure things out."

The suddenly overwhelming noise from the helicopter made it impossible to say anything else. She looked down quickly, before Riley noticed the tears in her eyes. Not before she noticed the shock in his as he abruptly turned and walked the rest of the way.

She watched as he reached the helicopter, not looking at her as she approached. Wiping her eyes briskly, she handed her pack up to one of the soldiers, then reached for the hands Graham offered to pull her up.

As she hoisted herself in, she felt Riley's hand on her back, gently guiding her. Turning to him as he got in, she searched his eyes for the reassurance that things were o.k., but the smile she got was a guarded one. Glad that the interior was dark enough that her bloodshot eyes weren't quite so obvious, she settled herself into her seat and prepared for the ride.

61.62.63. Maybe they had gotten married so quickly because otherwise Sam couldn't collect her inheritance if she was still single. 64.65.66. Maybe it was because the Army would have assigned them to opposite sides of the world if they weren't husband and wife. 67.68.69. Maybe Sam had committed some horrible crime and if they were married, Riley wouldn't have to testify against her. 70.71.

Thank God, she thought when there was a knock on the door. She pushed up off the floor and opened the door to see Sprague standing there.

From the moment they arrived in Quetico, Riley and Graham had been pulled in different directions - Riley on the phone with Wendy, dealing with permit issues serious enough to require a trip out to Park Headquarters. Graham was right behind him, accompanied by several men and a truck's worth of equipment for the Command post.

Riley hadn't really brushed her off, but it was clear that he was focused on the task at hand and needed no help from Buffy. So instead, feeling like a sixth-grader on a school trip, she climbed into a van with the rest of the team, not really knowing where she was going until they arrived at a motel and Sprague handed her a room key.

Great, because she really wasn't too keen on the idea of a roommate; not so great because she'd had no one to spend the last few hours with, which of course meant she spent the time obsessing about the conversation she'd had with Riley. Or not had, she wasn't really sure.

By the time she realized she wanted company, it was too late, and Ana and Sprague had both disappeared. There wasn't really anyone else on the squad that she felt comfortable with enough to go knock on their door, so she had gone for a run, done an hour's worth of Tai Chi, and spent forty-five minutes on the phone with Willow - with three whole minutes being devoted to discussing the case and the fact that Willow was trying to work her way into some prayer circle with a medicine man who might be able to help answer some questions.

The remaining forty-two minutes were mostly Buffy being reassured that she was perfectly justified in bringing the past up with Riley and it was unlikely that she had screwed anything up, at least not this time. At least not permanently.

She jumped in the shower, but even that only ate up six minutes - she just wasn't in the mood for luxurious loofah-ing today. Moments later she was dressed and on her way to Graham's room, hoping Riley might be there already and she could at least figure out what, if anything, was going on.

Graham answered the door with the phone at his ear, gesturing for her to take a seat.

No Riley. There were toys, though, and she walked around the room, peering into the crates of weapons and communications gear that were piled on the floor.

Graham shook his head. "Haven't talked to him all day. Wendy said he's still dealing with the permit stuff."

"Oh." Buffy pushed a box aside and sat on the bed. Noticing the box's contents, she reached inside and pulled out a com-cam. "These still cost around $20,000?"

Graham stifled a smile. "I'd say a little more than that. You've used one before?"

Graham leaned back against the desk, watching as she fiddled with the equipment. "Mentioned what?"

She looked up at him, surprised. It had been a pretty big deal, after all. Then again, things did get pretty weird after that. She answered, "About what Walsh-"

"No, I guess not," Buffy said, thinking what a strange relationship she had with Graham.

A brief but intense shared history that contained enough painful memories for each that neither wanted to discuss it any more than they already had. That history, however, when added to their current common interests - a man and a mission - brought about an odd feeling of familiarity and ease; two people who had been raised in the same house, at the same time, but with completely different people. Very strange.

She took her seat as the team leaders arrived - Ana, Sprague, Brady, and, eventually, Riley.

"Finally," Graham said when Riley walked in. "Thought we were going to have to send a rescue team in."

Riley held up a thick envelope. "Had to sign away Annie and Kate's firstborn, but I think we're good to go." He handed the envelope to Brady. "Grab the permits for your team and pass it around. Tell your men to have them at all times. Rangers aren't too happy with the concessions that were made, so don't be surprised if they hassle us a bit. If they give you a hard time and I'm not around, call it in to Command. Graham will have copies of everything on file as well as a hotline to the embassy and the General if necessary."

"We just finished getting all the equipment divvied up." Graham addressed the whole group. "Distribute everything so it gets packed up tonight. Weapons should be accessible, but not conspicuous. You'll notice we rated the new com-cams."

The earpiece he picked up was smaller than the one Buffy had handled earlier. "Ana - be my guinea pig."

The doe-eyed soldier pulled her hair back as he slipped it over her ear like eyeglass frames, except one-sided. The earphone was held in place by the frame, secured by what looked like a small clip-on earring.

"That's the camera," Graham said, pointing to the protruding piece of wire that snaked along her jaw. "There's a microphone in there, too, so don't say anything you don't want me to hear. Nothing you guys haven't seen before, just a lot smaller."

Graham smiled. "You'll get used to it. Besides," he said, nodding at the box on the bed, "we've got the old ones as back-ups. I'm hoping that won't be necessary, though. These blend in much better. Speaking of blending in." He nodded at Riley.

Riley pulled the table into the middle of the room so that everyone could see the map he spread out. He drew an "X" in the middle. "We'll set up Base Camp here, just southeast of Russell Lake. If anyone asks, we're on an Outward Bound training. From there, each team will split up and cover a different section of the Park, focusing on the areas where the men disappeared from and where the bodies were found. Alpha team will cover this area," he said, waving his hand over the bottom of the map. "Mostly the southern parts. Beta will cover up here."

"We'll start out with two teams of eight led by Riley and Sprague," Graham said, "but because the crime scenes are so spread out, you'll split up into four teams of four as necessary. The Base Camp is where you can replenish food and supplies, but don't expect to spend too much time there."

Passing out packets full of laminated maps to Graham and the three other team leaders, Riley said, "We beamed all this stuff to your Palms, but considering we're spending the next three weeks in canoes, I thought you should have hard copy back-up."

It was quiet for a few minutes as each person examined the materials. Brady broke the silence.

"Sir," he said to Riley. "What's that?" He pointed to a grayed out area in the southwest corner of the map.

"*That* appears to be No Man's Land," Riley answered. He drew a half-circle from the Park border to the international boundary line shared by the U.S. and Canada. "This is where the native guides refuse to go. It's a pretty big area, encompassing almost all of McAree Lake."

Riley nodded. "We have no idea why this part would be off-limits, but the guides refuse to go there and the Rangers are getting spooked, too. And it's worth noting that the first few bodies were found just to the north of that area."

"How long will it take for us to get there?" Buffy asked, trying not to be too obviously grateful for the smile Riley flashed her. He probably wasn't too surprised that that was her first question.

Riley said, "We save that for the last week. I want to hit the crime scenes first. Then we can take a look."

"If the fires are out by then," Graham added. "Turns out there are several large forest fires to the east of that area, as I learned this afternoon. That may limit our access; we'll have to play it by ear." He looked around. "Any other questions?"

As Brady stood up, he pulled Ana into his arms and spun her around. "Last night of Atikokan Sports Days. Biggest social event of the year in these parts - limbo contest, dancing. Nite Club Tavern - two blocks away."

Riley laughed and shook his head. "Should've known you'd spend your afternoon doing something constructive."

"I won two hundred dollars in the Bingo tournament and got myself a date for tonight. I think that's constructive. So? Any takers?" Brady looked around the room.

Buffy perked up, slightly encouraged by Riley's smile a few minutes earlier, but still unsure enough that she didn't say anything as she glanced his way.

"Would be even more fun if someone could convince these two to come," Brady answered, nodding his head at Riley and Graham.

"*Maybe*," Graham said. "But first things first." He picked up a crate and handed it to Brady. "Get this stuff to your team. Then we'll see about tonight."

She nodded and turned back to the others, watching as Ana and Sprague got their stuff. Once they left, she stood. "Anyone up for dinner?"

"I think Ana found a place," Graham said as he looked at his watch. "Everyone's meeting there in about twenty minutes."

"Oh," Buffy said, not quite able to hide her disappointment. Yay. A nice, quiet dinner with Riley, Graham and fifteen commandos. Not that she didn't enjoy their company - she liked working as part of a team, that had been one of the things she knew she'd miss by leaving Angel and Co. back on the West Coast - but she had kind of been hoping for some down time.

The last few days had been spent almost entirely in the company of others - fifteen hours a day training with the squad, two hours at Riley's afterwards, complete with parents, kids, and Graham and his family more often than not. If she was lucky she had twenty minutes in the car alone with Riley when he drove her home, a quick kiss before sending him away, looking so exhausted that she made him call when he was safely at his house, just to be sure he got back o.k.

She hadn't expected him to ignore everything else to spend this last night alone with her before three weeks of community living, but she hadn't realized that dinner would be a group activity. And she needed to talk to him; she wasn't at all happy leaving things the way they'd been left this morning. And with him mostly avoiding even looking at her.

"I need to get this stuff to Brooks and Morris," Riley said, bending down to pick up a crate.

Buffy picked up the com-cam and taser that Graham had given her. With the exception of those two things, she'd be relying on her own weapons. She followed Riley out of Graham's room.

A few actual minutes alone - no time to waste. "Are you angry?" she asked, so quietly he could barely hear her. And then louder: "I mean, I know I kind of threw you a curve ball from way out in left field." He didn't look up at her. "Was that a mixed metaphor? I probably shouldn't even try the sports thing. Gunn says I still have a long way to go before I."

Riley walked alongside her, not even hearing her words; just getting lost in the babble. God, how he'd missed that when he was in Belize. It was odd how that was the thing that hurt the most; the thing that brought about the most acute, piercing pain. Sure he'd missed just being with her, touching her, watching her move. But that whole babbling thing - just thinking about it could bring the tears so quick that he didn't know what hit him.

He would forget, sometimes, how vulnerable she could be. How this amazing, incredible, indestructible woman could be so unsure, so out of control. Not in a crazy way, just in a, well, uncontrolled way. That there were some things that could actually get under her skin; that would make her just go off on some wild ride until you brought her back to the center again and got her grounded.

Sam never did that. She was always in complete control. He'd never been under any illusions that Sam had needed him - it had been clear from the start that she didn't. But for some reason she'd decided pretty early on that she wanted him. Ironic, seeing how much he hadn't wanted her. Hadn't wanted anything that even came close to a relationship. Hadn't wanted to love again, to be beholden. Hadn't wanted anyone to have that power over him ever again.

Sam didn't care. There were very few things about her that betrayed her Boston heiress roots, but one of those things was that if she wanted something, she expected to get it. She hadn't let a little thing like his resistance get in her way.

Not that she had forced him or anything. No, there wasn't any need for force when it came to Sam. She could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. *Very* persuasive. It didn't take much to get him to go along. And in the beginning it was the easiest way, the safest way: if he didn't love her, she couldn't hurt him. So why the hell not?

There was that irony thing again. After all - Buffy hadn't loved him, so, despite what he'd done - no matter what he ever did - he couldn't hurt her. All the guilt and remorse, the way he'd hated himself from the moment he saw her standing her there with Spike. No, take that back - from the moment he left Willy's with Sandy. The hate and guilt and all those other things running through his head night after night, it was probably all for nothing. He was barely a drop in the bucket of Buffy's life.

Not that it made anything any better. Even if Buffy hadn't cared, what he'd done was inexcusable. Reprehensible. The only - *only* - good thing that came out of it, was that when he found himself falling love with Sam within months of leaving Buffy. Well, there just wasn't that much guilt left to go around. And when Sam had decided it was time to get married - who was he to argue?

But it was a damn good thing that Sam didn't babble; that, minus the whole demon hunting thing, everything about her was the complete opposite of Buffy. Because if even one thing had been the same, if even one thing had been close to similar, he could never have been with Sam. And if it weren't for Sam, he would have self-destructed ages ago. If it weren't for her, he wouldn't have made it out of the jungle. If it weren't for her, he wouldn't have wanted to.

So, yeah, thank God Sam didn't babble. Thank God she'd never gone on and on, losing that control, needing him to bring her back. Never shown anything close to vulnerability.

Because that would have reminded him of Buffy. Of the way he'd been able to ground her. The way he'd occasionally been the one actually throwing her off guard. It would have reminded him that once upon a time he'd been able to touch that part of her. For a little while at least.

And now, fifteen years later, he'd let his guard down. He'd let himself believe that he could mean something to her. That this time around things would be different.

Not that he could blame her. Not that he could ever blame her. Not for anything.

He probably shouldn't let her keep talking like that. Shouldn't let her keep babbling about curveballs and left field and ESPN and that Gunn guy again. Could anyone really blame him though? Could anyone really blame him for wanting to hear that? For wanting to see this side of her just one last time?

She overemphasized her words. The way someone did when they thought what they were saying was completely obvious. Or the way they did when they were repeating something that they'd just been talking about when he hadn't been listening to what she had actually been saying.

"Because of what you said before? Before we came here?" He almost laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of what she was saying. "No. I'm not mad at you." Not even close.

Yeah, probably not. At the very least, he owed her an explanation. He looked down. She wanted to know about Sam. About how he'd gotten married after so little time. The one part he'd managed not to feel guilty about back then. Talk about batting zero. "I almost didn't believe her when she said we should get married."

He didn't notice Buffy's mouth drop open as if to say something. Or snap shut just as quickly, afraid that if she said anything he wouldn't continue.

"I couldn't believe she was willing to take a chance like that," Riley went on. Not just that Sam had wanted him, which, under the circumstances was hard enough for him to believe. But that she felt that way despite knowing what he'd been doing all those nights, with all those women. Vampires, no less. He still wasn't sure if that part had made things better or worse.

Regardless, she'd said she didn't give a damn that the bites had barely had time to heal - it was time for him to look toward the future again, and she wanted that future to be with her.

"She made me smile again," he said to Buffy. "Made me want to smile. It seemed too soon after you. Like it couldn't possibly be real - not again. But I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice."

He figured this was what Buffy wanted to hear, because she hadn't interrupted him. She was just standing there, quiet. Very un-Buffylike.

She took a step toward him, but he backed away. He didn't want her touching him - that would probably break him right about now and there wasn't really time for that. Nor was this the place - on the edge of the parking lot of a crappy motel in the middle of nowhere.

He knew he should look at her, but he couldn't. He didn't really want to see the look in her eyes. No matter what it was - anger, hurt, or just plain old nothingness - it wasn't going to make him feel any better. He said, "How could you ever forgive what I did? I know I haven't."

Riley and Buffy turned to see Brooks heading toward them, Morris right behind. Brooks pulled out a key and opened the door Riley was standing next to.

"Um, sure," Riley said, thinking that their timing was pretty good. Getting it over with quickly was usually the way he preferred things like this, but he had a job to do at the moment. It was probably better not to get the whole Dear John speech while Brooks and Morris were standing right there. He straightened up and followed the two soldiers into the room.

It had suddenly become very obvious to Buffy that she had completely misread this whole situation, thinking that Riley had been angry at her since that moment on the tarmac when instead he'd been thinking that she was angry at him.

She'd understood, earlier, that he hated what had happened, felt he was entirely to blame; but she hadn't realized that he thought she blamed him, too. That he thought she'd spent this whole day - the better part of two decades - hating him. Which she hadn't. Not even close.

He'd made an impact, yes - a huge impact, teaching her some things that she'd needed to learn: that it took more strength to share your heart than to shut it down. That opening yourself up didn't mean giving yourself away. That "compromise" wasn't a bad word. All things that Spike - ironically enough - had eventually reaped the benefits of; all things that she'd learned from Riley.

Buffy squeezed her eyes shut, cursing herself for - once again - handling this situation so badly, all because of one question. One stupid, insecure question that should have been far behind her thirty-something, self-assured psyche: Do you love me? Why didn't you want me? Will you ever want me again?

O.k. So maybe more than one question. Questions that Riley had everything and nothing to do with. Questions she thought she had dealt with ages ago.

Questions, however, that she had finally - *finally* - put to rest after the endless hours she'd spent thinking throughout the day - in the helicopter, in her room, and after reading the emotions that so clearly played out on his face when she'd finally raised the subject, all these many years later.

Yes, of course he had loved her - as did her Dad and Angel and Giles and Spike. Yes, of course he had wanted her - so much so that he had nearly given up his life because of the weakness he thought she'd seen in him. Yes, of course he could want her again - he'd proved that every hour of every day they'd spent together in the past two weeks.

And that whole state of alone-ness had just as much to do with her as it did with them. She'd made the choice time and again - to let them leave. She'd chosen to be alone.

This was such a no-brainer. It's not like she hadn't thought about all this stuff before. Who hadn't? But it all came back to that head versus heart thing: just because you knew something in your head didn't mean that your heart went along. And it had taken until today for her heart to finally acquiesce. For everything to finally click into place in a way it hadn't done before.

She hadn't shared enough of herself with Riley. She hadn't been ready to do that then. She'd known that for a long time; she'd made peace with it, knowing that the end had been the right choice, even if she'd have preferred that the means had been different. Not that she'd actually had a choice about the exact end; but she'd certainly made the choices leading up to it. And in retrospect, especially given everything that had happened since then, there was probably no likelihood that they would have actually made it to the long haul. That didn't mean, though, that she wouldn't have liked the chance to try. To let the seeds take root and grow.

No. Who was she kidding? It had taken a long fifteen years to get to this place. To the place where she was ready to choose a state other than alone-ness. To where the mission wasn't the most important thing. And, honestly? She didn't have many regrets about the way she'd lived her life so far. Not many.

Of the regrets she did have, though, some pretty big ones revolved around this man. Around the ways she'd let him down. And it was impossible to express how grateful she was that she was getting the chance to right those wrongs.

It was not, however, impossible to express how much he meant to her and how ready she was for a different ending. To erase the doubts he so obviously had. To let him know that she felt as strongly for him as he felt for her. He needed to know that.

She watched with impatience as he handed equipment to Brooks and Morris, taking far too much time to explain the maps and the permits. As soon as he was done, she'd be erasing those doubts. Yes, sir-ree. Just as soon as-

"It's tradition," Ana added, not giving Buffy a chance to answer. "The Last Supper. Everyone goes. Put that stuff in your room." She pointed to the taser and com-cam in Buffy's hand, then nodded towards Riley, who was still going over the packets with Brooks and Morris. "They'll be ready in a minute or two."

"Yeah," Buffy said reluctantly, glancing at Riley. "O.k." It would only take her a minute.

She walked quickly to her room, wanting to get back to Riley; wanting to fix this before she caused him any more pain, something she seemed to be particularly good at. That and taking him for granted, a point Xander had so clearly made years ago, back in Sunnydale. That part hadn't quite hit home until she had actually watched Riley disappear into the blackness of that night; until the following day when she'd seen the look on Xander's face - that split second of hope followed quickly by disappointment. Thank God for Xander - he'd given her a big, bear hug and deflected everyone's questions, allowing her at least a little time to start adjusting to this sudden loss.

Xander, she thought as she unlocked the door to her room, the original good man who knew all about her for-granted-taking tendencies. He still loved her though; still put up with the things she did. Probably why he'd always liked Riley so much - there was finally someone to share the hurt with, someone human at least. That unique brand of Buffy hurt that she saved for the guys who really loved her.

Take Angel, for example. Granted, she'd actually let him know how much she loved him. Bonus for him. Not that it helped, though, when she sent him to Hell.

By the time Spike came along - in the romantic sense at least - she didn't even bother with the whole nice thing. Nope - all the brutality with Spike was out there, completely exposed - emotional, physical. Brutality he'd been more than happy to give right back. Most likely the only reason they'd actually managed to build a relationship - once you get the monster out in the open there's nothing left to hide.

Based on that history, Riley'd never had a chance. He'd been too good to her, too honest. Too trusting. Had actually made the mistake of laying his heart out on the line, putting it out there for her to stomp all over.

No, she'd actually set him up for the fall, though, almost from day one. Letting him think that she'd be there for him, telling him it wasn't the end of the world.

Oh, she'd fooled herself, too. Thought that loving him was the same as being in love. Thought that she could control it this time, keep herself from getting hurt. Thought that someone whose love was unquestionable, whose sacrifices undeniable, would never - *could* never - drive that stake through her heart. Not a *normal* guy - oh, no. A normal guy could never touch her the same way Angel had, could never make her die inside. Not a man who lived for her; a man she'd made whole.

She'd been so angry when he left. Not the hating kind of anger that kept her bitter for years, the kind of anger he assumed she still had, but the don't-even-come-close-to-touching-me anger that she took a little bit out on her friends and family, a lotta bit out on the bunch of vampires who crossed her path at the absolute worst time. For them.

The kind of anger where she'd been in control enough to brutally hold back the reaction he'd needed - the reaction she knew he needed, instead flinging words at him that would hurt more than any punch she could ever throw. The kind of anger that if she'd had one more day - just one more day - would have blown over enough for her to work things through. Blown over enough so that she could deal with the sudden realization that he could hurt her this much; that somewhere along the way he'd gained enough power to do so.

That somewhere along the way she'd let her defenses down. Let him into her heart. That she'd actually fallen in love with him.

Hated him? she thought, throwing her taser and com-cam into the bottom drawer of the flimsy motel bureau. No, she'd never hated him. Hated herself - now that was another story. Hadn't had much time to dwell on it though, because of. Well, let's just say the whole jumping off the tower opportunity had come at a pretty good time.

Of course, coming back was no picnic either, and, oddly enough, it hadn't been until Riley came back with Sam that things began looking up again. Not 'oddly' in the sense that it was Riley because, even with the way things had ended, he was still responsible for some of the happiest times in her life.

The 'oddly' part was because that was also when those questions changed from your typical, growing up insecurities to the over-arching, dark kind; to the weed that takes hold, implanting its roots deep within your heart. Questions that were buried so far down that she sometimes even managed to forget about them. Sometimes. At least until everything seemed to be going along quite nicely and she actually started to think that things were looking up. That maybe this time she was ready; maybe this time things might work.

Because of his wife of four months. The woman he'd been married to for four months even though it had barely even been a year since he'd left Buffy behind. A year since he'd told her she was the sun his world revolved around. If Riley could do that. If *Riley* could replace her so easily.

And there we are back at the beginning again. Back to those annoying little questions.

Even though she'd had some truly wonderful times with Spike; even though she and Angel had managed to get to such a good place, there was no denying that she'd needed that closure with Riley. Had needed to understand.

She closed and locked the door behind her, leaving her room to go join the others.

So it wasn't like it was completely water under the bridge. It wasn't like she'd brought this whole thing up just because it sounded like a really fun time. Those questions really had needed answering. She just wished she'd started the conversation when they could actually finish it at the same time - not on a day where it would be carried out over many, long, agonizing hours. Which would hopefully be over soon.

It wasn't looking good though: by the time Buffy got back to where Ana and Sprague were standing, three other soldiers had joined them and Graham was heading their way. Brooks was just locking the door to his room; Riley was nowhere to be seen.

"Riley said he had to make a few phone calls," Sprague said. "He'll catch up to us."

Buffy just nodded, annoyed at herself for not finding out Riley's room number ahead of time. And she wasn't about to ask in front of all these people.

Dinner was at a rib joint Ana had discovered earlier in the day. The place was barely big enough to hold everyone, and Buffy found herself squeezed into a corner between Brady and Brooks.

Brady, who had given her nothing but shit the first full day of training, had actually been incredibly friendly once he realized that she could pull her own weight. She didn't entirely trust him, though - he talked a bit too much for her taste. So when he started asking about her background and how she knew Riley and Graham, she was as vague as possible. She was actually relieved when Brooks told Brady to shut up and let the lady eat in peace.

Brady had some choice words for Brooks, but after delivering them, he turned his attention to the men on his other side.

He nodded. With a grin he repeated Brady's question almost word for word by saying, "So, how exactly do you know Riley and Graham?"

So far, she had been careful not to talk much about her past, especially where she and Riley were concerned, but she felt an odd connection with Brooks now that she knew about his history with Sam. An odd enough connection that she was willing to be a little more open with him than with just about anyone else. "Riley and I dated in college. Right before he left for Belize."

"The one," she finished for him. "That's what Sprague said, too." She smiled. "Just so I know where you're coming from - did you find out about me from Riley? Or from Graham?"

"I'm sure the feeling was mutual - if I were you, I probably wouldn't have been too happy with Graham for bringing Riley back in."

Buffy gave Brooks a shrewd look. "You know about all that? I didn't think that's something they'd discuss."

"They didn't," Brooks said with a shrug. "Sam told me. She's the one who told me about you, too."

"She did?" Buffy asked, almost choking on the water she had just taken a sip of. "What did she say?"

He grinned. "She wasn't your biggest fan. Not at first at least." He wasn't going to mention that he hadn't recognized Buffy's name because Sam never actually called her that. "Blondie" had been the term of choice. On the good days.

"That's right," Brooks said. "I almost forgot about them going to Sunnydale. That was right after they got married, wasn't it?"

Buffy sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. "Is there anything about me that you don't know?"

He laughed. "Up until about a minute ago, I would have said I have no idea why you've been watching the door so intently."

Buffy's eyes dropped guiltily, although she couldn't help but look up again when she heard the door's bells jangle. Still no Riley.

".But yeah," he continued. "I know a lot about you - Sam did a lot of listening with Riley. I did the same for her." Almost as an aside, he added, "He'll be here, by the way."

Brooks answered, "I said, he'll be here. He's always late to the last supper thing. He likes to call his kids before they go to bed - sometimes there isn't time once the mission starts, or the cell phones don't get good reception. Sometimes it's just in case we." He paused before voicing the blatant, but always unspoken, concern. "Don't worry, it has nothing to do with you."

"Was I that obvious?" She had been worried, but apart from keeping an eye out for Riley to appear, she thought she had been pretty good about keeping a neutral face on.

"Oh," she said. "Well, thanks." She could see how Sam had found it so easy to talk to this guy - the playful smile rarely left his face, but his eyes were kind and there was a gentleness about him that Buffy rarely associated with the buff, crew-cut type. She resisted the temptation to completely open up, though, thinking that Riley probably wouldn't take too kindly to that. "How can you work so closely with him? I'm not sure I could've done that with Sam."

Brooks shrugged and took a bite of his roll. "He's my commanding officer. I don't have much of a choice."

Buffy shook her head. "If that's all it was, Graham wouldn't have put you on Riley's team." Especially on a mission where Graham was clearly worried about Riley's safety.

Brooks looked away and took his time in responding. "He's got four kids to remind him of her; all I've got is him. Besides," he said, smiling ruefully. "She'd kill me if anything happened to him."

"Trust me. She'd figure out a way." Brooks took a sip of water, nodding at the door as he did so. "Looks like your boy just walked in."

Buffy looked up to see Riley's eyes scanning the room. They came to a rest and he smiled when he saw her. She wanted to think that the look passing over his face was disappointment and not relief when he realized there was no way he'd be able to squeeze past the seven large men sitting between him and Buffy, much less actually sit next to her. But, with the exception of a guarded nod at Brooks, he seemed to be more than happy to sit down in the empty seat at the end of the table, immediately being sucked into the story that Sprague and Graham were telling.

Brooks watched the silent exchange. "So, you and Riley - back together again," he said.

Or not, as the case may be at the moment, Buffy thought. To Brooks she said, "Should I be insulted that you sound so surprised?"

He laughed. "Sorry - it's just hard to think of him with anyone other than Sam."

"Oh," Buffy said, looking down. That was so not the response she'd expected - or wanted - to hear.

"Wow," Brooks said. "I'm doing a great job here, aren't I? Well, I do have to admit, he has been in an exceptionally good mood lately."

Buffy smiled, back on surer ground. "He did say that there had been some comments."

"Yeah, but I never put much faith in locker room speculation." Brooks sat back as the waitress arrived and started passing plates of food around.

Buffy waited until the noise had picked up again before saying, "Speculation about what exactly?"

"Um." Brooks actually turned red. "Just, um, about why he's been so, um, happy. Nothing about you though," he said quickly, getting more flustered as Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Not because you're not worth speculating about, but it's a hard and fast rule not to talk about anyone on the team unless it's something you can say to their face. And most of the guys around here aren't the type to go up to some woman they barely know and say how hot she is; except Roberts, maybe, but no one takes him seriously anyway. Besides, you were off-limits because you work for the Ambassador - everyone figured that was why Riley and Graham were kind of weird about you, even though you all seemed to get along really-"

"You can stop now," she said, unsuccessfully trying not to laugh and wondering if all commandos were closet babblers, or was it just the ones she happened to meet? "Kind of weird?"

"It's pretty obvious that there's some kind of history with all of you - I mean, there's that whole Initiative thing. We thought the weird stuff was mostly to do with the fact you were working with Ambassador Cain. But then they also seemed to really like you so no one really knew what to think." He took a bite of food. "Actually, I figured more for you and Graham - he's the one that's been driving you to the river every morning. 'Cept he doesn't seem the type to cheat on his wife, so-"

"My house is on his way in." Buffy took a sip of water. "Good thing you guys don't talk about anyone on the team."

"Different kind of talk. Very different. And I never mentioned that last part to anyone."

Brooks shrugged. "There may have been a whisper or two. Most of these guys really don't give a shit. Once they saw you fight, they weren't too concerned about anything else."

They ate in silence, listening to the raucous conversation around them. After a few minutes, Buffy said, "Was it weird for people - that Riley and Sam were a thing?"

Brooks was clearly relieved to be moving on to a different subject, even if that happened to be the subject she chose. "It was weird to have a woman on the squad, and a civilian at that - most of these guys come out of Special Ops; there's not a lot of integration there. She was the first in the unit; may have been the first some of them ever worked with. I don't think it's much of an issue anymore."

Brooks nodded. "She was working at a clinic when it got attacked. There weren't many survivors, and most of them were in really bad shape - physically and mentally. Getting them out of the jungle was tough - we kept running into these bad-ass demons; one day Sam just picked up a blaster and started shooting. Horrible aim - I think she almost killed Riley the first time she met him - but she was a good doctor. We've all got basic medical training but that just wasn't cutting it down there and we needed someone who really knew what they were doing. I told Graham I thought she'd be a good fit for the squad and he went to bat for her."

"Not Riley?" She'd always assumed that Riley was the one pushing for Sam. Hadn't realized that it was mostly Graham.

"Unh-uh," Brooks said, shaking his head. "Riley wasn't really in any position to go to bat for anyone back then. The brass was really down on him, and the other guys didn't exactly welcome him back with open arms."

She'd never really considered how hard it must have been for him to go back in. Great. Because she needed another thing to feel really bad about. Plus she could feel bad about the fact that she'd never considered it in the first place. She had an excuse for that, though; when he and Sam came back it was pretty clear he was calling the shots. It wasn't like he'd had to start at basic training again. She said, "But when they came to Sunnydale."

"Oh, don't get me wrong - it didn't take long for him to get back on top, it was just rough going for a few months. I think that's why he and Sam hit it off so quickly - they were the ones that no one else talked to much. Before she met Riley, Graham and I were the only ones that gave her the time of day."

There was a roar of laughter from the end of the table. Buffy and Brooks looked up to see that Riley was now holding court and had just about everyone within hearing distance hanging on every word. Buffy smiled at the inconsistency - Brooks talking about Riley's pariah days while one look showed how far behind him those days were.

Brooks, also aware of the irony, said, "Yeah, well, it probably wouldn't have taken too long for him to get people on his side again, but he lucked out. He and Sam saved half the team one night when our camp got hit. Nine or ten vamps snuck up on us in the middle of the night - they weren't just there for blood; they were the sadistic kind - torture, maiming, all the fun stuff before the kill."

Holding up his arm, he showed Buffy a jagged scar that ran from his wrist to his elbow. He continued, "Things were just starting to get really unpleasant when Riley and Sam came out of nowhere and took 'em out - all of them."

"Where had they been?" Buffy asked. "Oh," she said, lowering her eyes when Brooks gave her a look. Duh.

"Everyone was mostly glad to be alive. Once that wore off, it just seemed normal."

"Even to you? Sorry," she said when Brooks looked up sharply. "That was probably too personal. I never know when to shut up."

He smiled. "Even to me." He watched Riley for a few seconds. "They were good together. They made each other happy. Wasn't always easy, but they managed."

Buffy followed Brooks' gaze to the end of the table. Riley had finished whatever story he'd been telling and was now leaning back in the chair, listening to Sprague. He glanced up, the laughter in his eyes dying as he noticed Buffy's intense look.

Her heart sank. She hated that she still hadn't had a chance to make this better, something she planned to do as soon as it was humanly possible.

Which was not right now, however, because Roberts was tapping his fork against his glass. Buffy looked at Brooks. "Another tradition?" she said.

'This' ended up being a toast to Brady, whose birthday it was, and a strong encouragement for the entire squad to support Brady in his quest to become the Atikokan Limbo King. Conversation degenerated quickly from there and before Buffy knew it, the plates were cleared, dessert had come and gone, and just about everyone was on their way down the street, headed to the Nite Club Tavern.

"I'm glad you decided to come," Buffy said to Riley when she finally caught up with him. "You didn't really seem in the mood."

She nodded, slowing her pace so that the two of them were lagging behind the others. "You guys always do that - storm the town and take over the only restaurant in the place?"

Riley's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "You know." he said, completely ignoring her question, knowing the reprieve was over. No, he couldn't blame her for wanting to end this - it had been foolish to think that she could get past what he'd done - youth and misguidedness were no excuse for betrayal. Nothing that had happened in the last two weeks could ever make up for that. ".I really tried to convince myself that this wasn't all too good to be true. That you could trust me again. That we could actually make it work this time. I think I even believed it for a little while there."

Buffy stopped and turned to him. "What.?" she said with dismay - she knew that she'd made a mess of things, but hadn't realized it was quite so bad.

He didn't even notice the look on her face, continuing as though she hadn't spoken. "I've wished so many times that I could take it back; just erase those last few weeks. I know that you could never-"

"Oh, Riley," she said, stepping in closer, narrowing the gaping distance between them. "I'm so, so sorry." She put her finger to his lips, caressing him gently. "I've forgiven far worse things."

"It hurt, Riley - for a long time. I'm not sure if I even realized how much until." Well, technically, she'd realized it a long time ago. But it had been locked away. Or so she'd though. "Until this last couple of weeks. But you misunderstood me - it wasn't because of the way you left; it was the way you came back." She took hold of his hand. "I know it shouldn't matter, but I just needed to know how you. How Sam."

She pulled him close, drawing his head down. "Don't leave me again - o.k.? Whatever happens, just don't leave. Next time give me a chance to."

"Well," she said, grinning, "not that I'm hoping there's a next time. But if it's me or Belize."

"God, Buffy." Part of him felt like crying; part of him wanted to soar. "Never. I will never leave you again."

She hugged him tightly. Pulled back and said, "I really did love you, you know."

"No," he responded, his smile contradicting the poignancy of his words. "You didn't."

"You're wrong," she said, not willing to let him self-deprecate his way out of this one. "I did. It just meant something else back then. And," she said, hating to admit it, "I don't think I was very good at it." She looked up at him, waiting until he nodded his understanding before saying, "I'm much better at it now." She took his face in her hands and kissed him gently. Tenderly.

She leaned against him, grateful to have his arms around her once again. "Not to push my luck, here, but will you dance with me tonight? Just once?"

He looked off in the direction the others had gone. She was asking for more than just a dance - this would be a declaration of sorts, one he'd resisted making up until now, though he wasn't sure why. Maybe because, despite the wondrous two weeks they'd had, he hadn't entirely trusted her feelings for him. Maybe he'd just been trying to protect himself from getting burned again.

"That's Brady's date?" Riley asked as he and Buffy took the two seats Graham had saved for them at the table.

Graham looked at the dance floor where Brady was dancing with a woman pushing eighty - minimum. "There's a whole posse of 'em," he said, nodding at a table filled with elderly women.

Riley smiled and shook his head, his eyes scanning the room. The crowd was a cross between Huxley and Boston - Huxley's middle-aged couples, old ladies, and a couple of groups of giggling teenage girls escorted by boys trying to look cool; Boston's transient college population, but in Atikokan's case, it was hikers instead of students. Tables of four or five, more men than women, mostly in their twenties - all of them looking strangely at the locals dancing to some odd cross of swing and country music; most of them downing beers until they got the nerve to join in.

And then there was the team - clearly enjoying the rare experience of being in a place where Americans weren't automatically considered the enemy, not to mention the fact that English seemed to be the language of choice. Most of the men would probably have two, maybe three beers - 5:30 a.m. call was no fun, but add a hangover to that? Brutal. Just about everyone had made that mistake once. Dancing would be a little less popular, although Riley could already see some of the soldiers scoping out prospects - the waitresses, a couple tables full of twenty-something hikers. Buffy, of course.

She'd barely sat down when Brady noticed her. Within minutes, she was on the dance floor.

"You gonna tolerate that?" Graham asked half an hour later, after the old ladies had disappeared, leaving Brady and Buffy to dance alone.

"Just saying." Graham grinned. "You gotta admit, though - they make a striking couple. And she always did look pretty hot, but when she's dancing."

Graham's grin turned to laughter. He had forgotten how much fun it was to hassle Riley; Forrest had never fully appreciated that. "Knew it would only be a matter of time before the others joined in," Graham said as the end of the table emptied and a bunch of the soldiers got up. Some of them made stops at the other tables they'd been eyeing; some just went right for Buffy. "So? What are you waiting for? This is a perfect time to assert alpha male status."

"Do you mind?" Riley asked, glaring. He drained the bottle of beer sitting in front of him and signaled for another.

Graham went on as if Riley hadn't spoken. "Can't use the 'don't dance' excuse anymore. Not after Sam took care of that."

It had been a long time since Riley had been out on a dance floor. Long enough that most of the guys here had never seen it, so this would be more than just a statement that he and Buffy were together; this would probably be the only thing that got talked about for the next three weeks. Joy of joys. He felt like he was back at Lowell house, sitting on a couch with Willow, watching Buffy having a great time doing the one thing he couldn't do well.

And it was amazing how there was still that awful feeling in the pit of his stomach, despite fifteen years, four kids, a good marriage, and the knowledge that he could, actually, dance. Not to mention that this time around he knew Buffy wasn't going to say 'no' if he asked her. It was a great relief when the music stopped and the DJ announced the limbo contest.

"Lucky man," Graham muttered. "Having fun?" he asked Buffy when she came back to the table and sat down.

"Who knew Atikokan had so much going for it?" she said, the 'yes' clearly implied by the gleam in her eyes. She watched the contestants lining up on the dance floor. "Is Brady really going through with this?"

"Looks like it," Riley said. "Just watch - he'll have the whole place cheering for him before this is done."

Buffy put her hand on Riley's thigh and leaned in closer. "You are planning on keeping your promise, right? I was thinking it's probably not a good idea to stay out too late tonight, but I want my dance."

She turned when she heard her name and felt a hand on her shoulder. "Harry," she said. "Hi. Well, this is a surprise."

"Jessica mentioned you were coming in today," Harry said. He acknowledged Riley and Graham with a slight nod, but spoke only to Buffy. "She said you might stop by the museum."

"Oh, right," Buffy said. That actually would have been a perfect way to pass the long afternoon, but she had completely forgotten. She resisted glancing at Riley. "Sorry. I was kind of preoccupied today."

"Yes. Some other time," she replied. There was an awkward pause. Buffy didn't really have much to say, and Harry didn't either, apparently, but he also made no move to leave. "Have you met everyone?" she finally asked. She introduced Harry to the men at the table. "You'll be on Sprague's team, I think."

Harry gestured at a table across the room and waved to the men sitting there. "That's Dale, Richard and Joe - they're the guides that will be with us." He surprised Riley and Graham by including them when he said, "If you'd like to meet them, I'd be glad to introduce you."

"Riley Finn," Jeff answered, holding his hand out. "Sorry if we came on a little strong earlier today."

"Almost didn't recognize you without the uniform," Riley said, shaking the ranger's hand.

To Harry, Jeff said, "The guys aren't completely comfortable with some of the promises that were made." He turned to Riley. "But we'll try not to bother you too much. And if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. It's a big park, but you'll be surprised at how close we can be."

Riley smiled but didn't respond. It didn't surprise him at all, especially after the hurdles he'd gone through earlier that afternoon to pick up the permits - he was expecting the rangers to be right on top of them for most of the next few weeks. At least this guy was being friendly; his pals at the bar weren't even bothering.

Jeff turned to Buffy. He nodded at the guys leaning against the bar. "You'll probably be seeing us around. Harry said you don't have much experience out on the water - if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask."

"Just be careful," Jeff said. "This place is so beautiful that people get lulled into thinking it's safe, too."

"Thanks for the heads up," she murmured, although 'thinly veiled warning' would probably be more accurate. She glanced at the bar and smiled. Good to know who not to go to in case she actually did need help.

Graham, who had been silent up until now, gave Jeff his own warning. "I've heard that said about Buffy as well."

Jeff smiled and nodded his head. He didn't say, 'Touch�,' but may as well have.

"Did you have to say that?" Riley asked twenty minutes later when they were back in their seats having met the guides and made arrangements for the next day. "She's our secret weapon. Let's keep it that way."

Graham answered, "You're just mad I called her beautiful before you got a chance to."

She shrugged. "Harry? We don't exactly advertise my Slayer status, but if they've done their research, they probably know Angel and I aren't just your run of the mill PIs. Then again, most of the people who hire us don't really question how we get the job done and, as I'm sure you've noticed, a lot of people try and explain away what they've seen."

There was a roar of applause as the limbo contest ended, Brady coming in second to the reigning champ.

"Tough luck," Brooks said, laughing and patting Brady on the back as he came back to the table.

"How was I supposed to know I'd be up against a yoga teacher," Brady grumbled. "Those kind of people shouldn't be allowed to compete. Sorry Buffy," he said as the music started up again. "I need to recover a bit before I'm ready to dance."

She stood up and held out her hand to Riley. "That's o.k. This one's been promised to someone else."

After a moment's hesitation, Riley took her hand and stood, deliberately ignoring the - yep, pretty much stunned - looks from the rest of the table as he followed her to the dance floor.

She smiled as he put his arms around her. Fighting all instincts to fold her body into his - she could feel everyone's eyes on them and was sure that wasn't helping him with this very public display - she said, "Why do I get the feeling you'd rather be facing down half a dozen vampires?"

This time she kept her smile to herself. She could tell there was a part of him that wanted more than anything to just ignore everyone else and give in to her, or to stake his claim and let it be known that there was something going on here beyond a dance; on the other hand, he held himself to pretty high standards, and even though he had no problem with intra-squad relationships among the men and women on his team, he definitely wasn't comfortable.

Whether that was because of some military regulation like fraternization, good conduct, or another vaguely official sounding term, or just the whole PDA thing, she wasn't sure. It hadn't seemed a huge issue back in school, but he lived in a frat house back then; things were definitely different now.

She said, "If you and Sam hadn't been.discovered, how long would it have taken for you to come clean with everyone?"

"I was wondering what you and Brady were talking about." He grinned. "I don't know. Probably would have waited until we were married."

"Even though you have no problem with it when it comes to the people on your team?"

"I could understand if I worked for you - that would be a whole other story - but I don't. This is a totally random situation. I'm already different-"

She glanced away from him, her eyes solemn as they came back to his face. "I don't want to hide how I feel. I've done that too many times, for one reason or another, and it never seems to end well."

Well, he thought, that was as good an argument as any other He bent down to kiss her. There was an undeniable jolt as their lips connected, one she felt, too - he could tell from the way she suddenly clutched at his arm. Maybe it was because of the crowd around them or the fact that for the past few days they'd begun to take for granted what only a week before had seemed such an impossibility. Or maybe it was just the darkened room and the sound of Ol' Blue Eyes serenading them. Whatever it was, he didn't care; all he knew was that for most of today, he thought he'd never have her in his arms again. And for the first time, he didn't care what anyone else thought; didn't care what it looked like.

She shook her head. "Just kiss me like that every once in a while. That'll do." She leaned her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

Well, that was certainly interesting. And entirely unexpected. Quite unwelcome in fact.

The man watched from across the room. Riley Finn and Buffy Summers, clearly more than just old colleagues - for one thing, old colleagues didn't kiss like that. And that wasn't a first kiss, something that just happened because of the atmosphere or the music or the drinks - first kisses were tentative, hesitant. Full of uncertainty.

This kiss had been different - intimate and knowing, leaving no question that it had been preceded by others and would be followed by many more. And a man didn't touch a woman like that - running his fingers through her hair, caressing the back of her neck, resting his hand on her waist in quite that way - unless they were lovers.

But at least he wasn't the only one caught off guard, judging by the raised eyebrows and smiles on the faces of the men around him. It hadn't been common knowledge. Not something he'd carelessly missed. The man sipped his drink.

Still, something would have to be done. If Finn was heading into this with his eyes open, then Summers was certainly under no illusions either. And she would try to protect him, not knowing that there was nothing she could do - everything was already put in place; the wheels were already in motion. This wasn't something that could be fought with bullets or steel or strength: it was bigger than all of them. They were merely pawns at the mercy of the Queen.

She seemed like a nice woman. He hoped that she wouldn't feel it necessary to sacrifice her life in hopes that it would save Finn. The man would do everything possible to keep her out of this, but he knew it might be futile. He would try scaring her off, even though it was unlikely anything he did would come close to the things she'd seen. An injury perhaps, if scare tactics didn't work - something serious enough to make her turn back, but one she could actually recover from.

Finn would remain the primary objective, though. The man had come too far to lose sight of that.

He watched as Buffy drew Riley down for another kiss - her hands gently pulling him down, grasping his shoulders and putting her mouth to his. The widower and his new love. A pity that they looked so good together.