Buffy stood by the door of the bedroom, surveying the decorating she had just completed. 'This looks perfect,' she said to herself. 'I only hope Angel thinks so, too.' Opening the door, she called out to him in the living room. "Angel! Come here, please!"

He ran down the hall to her. "What is it? Is something wrong?" When he saw what she had done, he stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh my god, Buffy. What have you done?"

She had placed white candles on every flat surface in the room. Soft music could be heard from the portable stereo on the dresser, the bedsheets had been turned down, and in the middle of the room stood Buffy. His heart pounded uncontrollably when he set his eyes on her. She wore an emerald green satin nightgown that fell to the floor. It matched her eyes perfectly, and her long blonde hair was tied up in a loose bun.

"Do you like it?" she asked.

"What…what's all this for?"

She walked a few steps toward him. "This is my way of making it up to you. For falling asleep last night."

"So you set up a seduction scene? You didn't have to go to all that trouble," Angel admonished.

"I wanted to. Besides, I had it planned out anyway. What do you think of my nightgown that I bought especially for tonight? Cordy helped me pick it out."

"It's lovely. The exact same color as your eyes." He smirked. "But it would look better on the floor in the morning."

Buffy took hold of his hands. "All in due time. But first you have to dance with me."

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back on wondering
How it could be now or might've been
Oh, this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even thought I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I dream about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you. \\

She held him close, knowing full-well that it might be the last time they'd be that close for a long time. Buffy didn't want to let a single moment slip by when they could be together. Every moment counted. But she wanted more than anything to be one with him just once more. 'It might be the last time for that, too,' she thought.

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be 'cause today is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back on wondering
How it should be now or might've been
Oh, this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even thought I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

"I love you," she said. "Never forget that."

"I won't. I couldn't. You're on my mind every moment of every day."

She smiled sadly. "Good. 'Cause I don't know if I could live without you, Angel. If you ever found someone else, I'd die. I just know it."

---

At midnight, long after Angel had fallen asleep, Buffy lay wide awake in his arms. Her left hand traced circles on his chest, which rose and fell in time with his breathing. A single tear fell from her eye onto his arm.

"Don't leave. I changed my mind, Angel. Stay with me. I have a bad feeling that once you leave, we'll never be together. Don't go."

---

"I can't believe this is it," Buffy stated early Sunday evening while she and Angel sat on his front porch. "You're leaving tomorrow."

He nodded. "Yeah, I know. My flight leaves in fourteen hours."

"Are – are you packed and ready to go?"

It was hard for Buffy to accept that Angel was leaving the next day. She knew he was only going because she told him to, but that didn't make it any easier. Back in June, August seemed so far away, as if in another lifetime. Now it seemed as though it were only yesterday.

"Mostly. I finished last night. Well, not entirely; I haven't gotten around to packing my toothbrush and stuff like that, but otherwise, I'm ready to go."

Buffy rested her cheek on his shoulder. "I'll miss you. But I guess that goes without saying."

"And the same goes for me. I'm going to think about you every second and dream about you every night," he said to her.

"Will you write? And call?"

"Every chance I get."

"Angel, I'm really afraid. I have a really bad feeling about this whole thing."

Angel put his arms around her. "Like what? My plane might crash somewhere over Kansas? Terrorists will take over the plane and kill all the passengers onboard?"

"That's not funny," she choked out, tears filling her eyes. "Don't even joke about something like that."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "You don't have to worry. Flying is the safest form of travel. Nothing's going to happen to me."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "That isn't what I'm afraid of. I…I'm scared of you meeting someone. Some absolutely beautiful girl with amazing talent; someone who will be able to write you a love poem off the top of her head without having to think about it. I can't do that…I can barely form a coherent sentence as it is. You might fall in love with this girl."

He gently caressed her cheek. "I'm already in love." Angel winked at his saddened girlfriend. "Besides, I bet none of those girls at Emerson were the Prom Queen."

"Maybe they were."

"And maybe they weren't," Angel reassured her. "There's no other girl out there like you, and you've got me, heart, body and soul. No matter how far away I am, that'll never change."

Standing behind the screen door, Melissa rolled her eyes. She had been listening in on their conversation for the past two minutes, standing in the shadows. 'Could those two be any more sappy? "I love you, I need you…" gag me!'

"Ahem," she coughed, announcing her presence. The couple turned around to look at her. "Sorry to interrupt, but dinner's ready. Mom's getting sorta antsy to eat."

"All right. I'll be inside in a minute," her brother informed her.

"Okay." Without another word, Melissa went back into the darkened house.

Buffy sniffled. "So, I guess this is the part where we say good-bye." 'I don't want to say good-bye. 'Cause that means Angel is really gone.'

"I don't believe in good-byes," Angel said. "And I refuse to say it. This isn't good-bye, not by a longshot."

"Then what is it?" she wanted to know.

He shrugged, shaking his head. "I don't know. See you soon, I suppose. It's only for a few weeks, remember that. There's mid-semester break in October and I'll be home for Thanksgiving. Then Winter Break in the beginning of December. Come January, you'll be going back with me. Six weeks, tops, and then we'll be together again."

"Seems like a long time."

"It'll go by quick. And it isn't like we won't be in constant contact the whole time. We'll write, talk on the phone and email. You'll be sick of hearing from me," he joked.

"Never."

They stood up, and Angel placed his forefinger under her chin. Their lips met in a tender kiss, sweetened by their promises to one another.

"I love you," he whispered when the kiss ended.

"I know," Buffy replied. "I love you, too."

He smiled, his forehead touching hers. "You still my girl?"

"Always."

---

Sitting on her bed, Buffy tried her hardest to concentrate on the book she was reading. It was a useless effort; the words jumbled together in an incoherent sea of letters. Nothing was seeping through, all she could think about was Angel.

Even at the dinner table, she had been quiet, leaving her father to question what was bothering her. Each time he asked, she said she was fine. Buffy knew Mr. Summers would never have understood. He'd never loved as deeply as she and Angel did, she decided; if he had, then he never would've torn them apart.

Her radio played in the background, the volume turned down so low she could hardly hear it. But even in her daze, Buffy heard the deejay announce a dedication.

"I have a dedication here from A.R. to his beloved. You know who you are, and he wants you to call him."

As I watch you move across the moonlight's gloom
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God, give me strength while I am leaving
So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

"Angel," she stated. "It's you. I know it is."

Buffy picked up the phone next to her bed and dialed the seven digits she'd memorized years before. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"It's me."

On the other end of the line, Angel smiled. "You heard the song, I take it."

"I'm still hearing it. It's beautiful."

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words I've loved so softly
I can't believe this pain
It's driving me insane
Without your touch life will be lonely
So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

"The words hit pretty close to home for me," he divulged. "It's exactly how I'm feeling right now."

"I miss you already. And you're only two miles away. I shudder to think what I'll be like tomorrow at this time when you are three thousand miles away."

He sighed. "I know exactly how you feel. Do you think you could sneak out for a little while? Meet me at the park by the merry-go-round? I need to see you one last time."

"I'll be there."

---

Buffy didn't bother to tell her father where she was going; as far as she was concerned, she was over eighteen and allowed to do whatever she wanted without asking for his permission. And if she wanted to see her boyfriend one last time, Mr. Summers couldn't stop her.

She pulled into the parking lot at eleven-thirty, although she didn't see any other cars around, not even Angel's. 'Is he here?' she asked herself. 'Or did he get held up?'

As she entered the park, Buffy immediately saw Angel. He was sitting on the merry-go-round, waiting patiently for her arrival. She ran over to him, flinging her arms around his neck when he met her halfway.

"I couldn't go," Angel told her, whispering in her ear. "Not without seeing you once more, without being near you again."

"I haven't been able to think about anything at all tonight. You're all I've been able to think about, nothing else."

Angel held her. "Yeah, I know. I sat in my room for hours after you left tonight, wondering how I'm going to manage not seeing you everyday. And I don't know if I can do it."

"It's just so unfair. Why do you have to go away?"

"It was your decision, Buffy. You told me to go. I'm only doing what you wanted me to do. Would you rather I stayed here with you?"

"Yes! No! I don't know. You've worked your entire life for this, it's your opportunity to prove yourself and what you can do. What I want doesn't matter anymore," Buffy said truthfully.

He looked her in the eye. "But it does. I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing it for you. If you don't want me to go, I won't."

Closing her eyes in an effort to hold back her tears, Buffy shook her head. "No, you have to do this. We'll get through it, we're tough."

"Are you sure?" he asked, unconvinced by her words.

"Yep."

They continued to hold each other for a few more minutes. Neither wanted to leave the safety of the other's arms. Buffy and Angel were determined to make it work, despite the odds.

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Could we…well…would you make love to me one last time before you go? I need to be with you in every possible way, I need to feel you," she begged. "I won't be able to make it."

Angel raised his eyebrows at her request. "Here? On the grass in a public park? What if someone sees us?"

"Nobody's around, it's late. And nobody's going to see. Please?!"

He sighed softly. "I can never deny you anything, especially now."

And as the moon shone brightly in the black sky, the couple lowered themselves to the ground, making love one last time.

---

Monday morning, Buffy was awakened by the chiming of her alarm clock at seven-thirty. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and yawned. Her rendezvous with Angel had lasted until one; neither one had wanted to leave the park, and she was dead tired.

'Seven-thirty already? You've gotta be kidding me,' Buffy thought. 'Wait a second…seven-thirty! Oh, god, I overslept!'

Bolting up in bed, panic seized her heart. She had overslept by an hour. 'I am such an idiot! I can't believe I did this!' Angel was leaving at eight o'clock for Boston and Buffy wanted to surprise him at the airport. Now she was afraid she'd miss her chance to see him off.

She jumped out of bed and threw on the first outfit she found in her closet: a long-sleeved blue blouse and a pair of black jeans. In front of her full-length mirror, she brushed her hair back into a ponytail, not bothering to put on any makeup. Angel always preferred the natural look on her, not to mention she didn't have the time to put any on. Every second counted.

Quickly brushing her teeth, Buffy grabbed her car keys and ran out the door. 'I've got fifteen minutes. I have to make it and I will,' she declared. On the way there, she ran two stop signs, three red lights and impeded the speed limit by at least twenty miles an hour, but pulled into the parking lot of Sunnydale International Airport with three minutes to spare before Angel's flight took off.

She ran through the double doors as fast as she could, breathless by the time she reached the Customer Service desk.

"How may I help you?" the older lady sitting behind the counter asked her.

"Hi. Can you tell me which gate Flight 247 to Boston is leaving from?"

The lady punched a few numbers into her computer. "That would be Gate 31. But you had better hurry up, they're starting to board right now."

"Thank you."

Gate 31 was only down the long corridor on the right-hand side, not far at all. The Sunnydale Airport was rather small, so Buffy had no trouble finding it. She made her way through the metal detector on the second try, having forgotten to remove Angel's ring the first time around.

She reached the gate just as Angel disappeared into the tunnel that led onto the plane. He hadn't seen her. "Angel," she said softly, knowing that he would not be able to hear her.

A hand touched her shoulder. "Buffy, honey?" a gentle voice said.

Turning herself around, she saw Mrs. Riches standing behind her. "Mrs. Riches, hi. I came to see Angel off, but I guess I missed him."

"I'm sorry. I know Angel would have wanted to see you. When he calls tonight, I'll be sure to tell him you came by. He'll be sorry he missed you."

Buffy nodded her head sadly. Nothing seemed to be going the way she wanted it to. 'Another bad omen.' "Thank you. When he calls, would you tell him I love him and miss him?"

"Of course I will."

"Are you…are you angry with me?" Buffy wanted to know.

Mrs. Riches knit her eyebrows together. "No, I'm not angry with you at all, Buffy. Why on earth would you think that?"

She blinked. "Because of Angel leaving. I know he told you about my dad's offer. And I thought maybe you hated me for his leaving town."

"Oh, no. God, I could never hate you, or even blame you for that. It had nothing to do with you, it was Hank's doing. As far as I'm concerned, your father made his bed and now he has to lie in it."

"I hate him for what he did," she told Angel's mother. "He doesn't understand how much Angel and I love each other."

She shook her head in response. "Don't do that. He's your father, you should love him. And as for Angel leaving Sunnydale, it would have happened eventually. My boy is special, he's destined for something better than this town can offer him. I can't hate you for making him see that, or for pushing him toward finding himself."

"Really?"

"Really. I've never seen him so happy as he is when he's around you. Angel hasn't had the world's greatest childhood, and any girl who can make him smile and laugh and brighten his whole personality is tops in my book. You're a member of our family, Buffy. You always will be."

---

"Where have you been?" Mr. Summers asked his daughter when she walked through the back door at eight-thirty.

"I went out," she replied flatly.

He lifted his eyebrows. "At eight in the morning? You don't usually crawl out of bed until after ten. Where did you go?"

"I told you, I went out."

"Buffy Anne Summers, you tell me where you were!" he demanded.

"Fine!" Buffy exploded. "You want to know where I was? Then I'll tell you. I went to the airport to see Angel. There. Are you happy now?"

Mr. Summers fumed. "I thought I told you that you were no longer allowed to see him. You purposely broke the rules."

"I love him! And all I wanted to do was say good-bye; see him one last time before he left my life, possibly forever. Is that so wrong of me?"

"We had an agreement and you broke it. How can I trust you after that?"

"I don't know, Dad. How am I supposed to trust you after you tried to buy off the man I love?" she threw back at him.

"You don't love him; you're too young to know what love is yet. Have you forgotten that your so-called love took the money I offered him? What does that tell you about his love for you?"

"He's doing it because I told him to. Angel loves me and he always will. But he deserves to live out his dream, and the money you offered him gave him the chance. I had to force him to take the money or else he'd have said no. See, Dad? He does love me."

The realization hit Mr. Summers at that moment. "You never stopped seeing him, did you? Did you!?"

Buffy held her ground. There was no way she was going to let her father intimidate her. "Never. It was all my idea, too, so you can't take it out on Angel. He was willing to stick to your agreement in order to protect me, but I said no. Every day he worried you would find out and punish me for it. I wasn't about to lose him, not after thirteen years of trying to be with him."

"You went behind my back and continued to see Angel, even after you knew the consequences? What have you become? The Buffy I raised would never do that."

"I'm still me, I'm just fighting for what I believe in. And I believe in Angel and our love. You know, now that I think about it, I have a question for you. What would Mom think of what you've done to break us up?"

"Your mother would've agreed with me."

She shook her head in disagreement. "I doubt that. She'd hate you as much as I do right about now."

"Buffy…"

"No. I'm not listening to you anymore. I don't even think I can live under the same roof as you after what you've done."

"And where do you expect to live, if not under my roof?" Mr. Summers questioned. "With your boyfriend, wherever he is?"

"No. I've been thinking about going away to school. In January, I want to go away to Boston College. Mom went there and I want to, too. You can't stop me from going, Dad, no matter what you pull. Nothing is going to keep me here. Nothing," she swore.

---

Angel cradled the telephone on his shoulder while he was hanging up his clothes in his dorm room closet. "Yeah, it's pretty warm out. I think they said it was eighty degrees when I stepped off the plane. It's almost like home."

"What's the campus like?" Mrs. Riches asked.

"It is beautiful…well, at least the dorms are, anyway. Tennis courts, baseball diamonds, lots of trees with picnic tables underneath them for writing. I love it. I haven't had a chance to walk around and explore yet, I've been busy unpacking. But I'm sure they'll give us a tour tomorrow during orientation."

"You'll love it. And even if you don't, you're always welcome back home," she told him. "Everybody misses you already."

Angel smiled. "I miss you and Missy, too. I never thought I'd be this homesick."

"I just can't believe my little boy's gone away to school. You're so far away, it's going to be a difficult adjustment."

"I know. Imagine how I feel. Everybody's a stranger to me here. All my family and all the people I care about are three thousand miles away. I'm all alone."

"If I know you, you won't be alone for long. People are going to see what a great person you are and they'll be clamoring to be around you."

"Yeah, right. We'll see about that. Mom, I want to let you know that if you need me, I'm only a phone call away. I'll be on the next flight home," Angel said.

She sighed. "Don't you worry about me. Melissa and I will be able to take care of ourselves. It's not us you have to worry about."

"What do you mean?"

"I ran into Buffy at the airport this morning. You had already boarded the plane by the time she reached the terminal. I don't think I've ever seen anybody so brokenhearted as she was."

Sadness filled his heart at his mother's words. "She was there? I missed her?"

"By about thirty seconds. Maybe it would be a good idea if you called her," his mother suggested. "Let her know how you are. Tell her you miss her."

He nodded. "You're right. I'll call her when I get off the phone with you."

"Why don't you do it now? Your sister just finished making dinner, so I have to go anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Go talk to her; tell that sweet little girl how much you love her."

He laughed. "You don't have to worry about me saying that. All right. Give Missy my love and I'll call you again this weekend."

"Whenever you have time. Get yourself situated there first. Meet some people, don't just stay in your room like I know you will." "Okay."

"Take care, Angel."

"You, too. Bye, Mom."

Angel pressed the receiver down, then dialed Buffy's house. He hoped and prayed that she would answer the phone rather than her father. It would be too difficult to explain why he was calling her.

Back in Sunnydale, Buffy lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. It had been nine hours since Angel had left and she refused to leave her room. Her father was angry with her, but she didn't really care. When the telephone rang, she had no intention of answering it, but changed her mind on the fourth ring.

"Hello?" she answered.

Angel gulped. He'd missed the sound of her voice, and she sounded like an angel to him. "Buffy?"

Her entire face lit up when she recognized the voice on the other end. "Angel! Oh my god! I never thought I would hear from you so soon!"

"I guess I shocked you, huh?"

"Totally. It's so great to hear your voice. Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?"

"Not half as much as I've missed you. I spent my entire flight thinking about you," Angel told her.

"You mean that?"

"Of course. I just got off the phone with my mom and she said you were at the airport and you had just missed me when you got there."

"By like thirty seconds! I was such an idiot, I wanted to see you off but I ended up oversleeping. And when I got there, you had already gotten on the plane."

"Well, I'll be home soon enough. Or maybe you could come visit here for a weekend soon, if you can convince your father. I have a single room, so we don't have to worry about being interrupted by any annoying roommates."

She frowned when he mentioned her father. "That sounds great, but I don't know. Angel, my dad knows about us. He put two and two together when I came back from the airport. And he wasn't happy about it."

Angel paled. "What did he say?"

"It's not for you to worry about. I told him it was totally my idea and that you shouldn't be punished for it. And I haven't spoken to him for the rest of the day. Frankly, I don't want to talk about him. Tell me about Emerson. What's it like?"

"Big," he laughed. "At least twice as big as UC Sunnydale, if not bigger. Lots of trees around. Beautiful campus, though."

"Sounds very inspiring."

"Nah. My inspiration is back in Sunnydale. But I have a lot of pictures of you to keep the creative juices flowing."

She widened her eyes. "Me? I'm your inspiration?"

"Yeah, you."

"Wow," she said. "Have you…met anyone yet?"

"You mean girls? I haven't seen a single soul since I got here, except for a few of the orientation guides. How many times do I have to tell you, Buffy, that I'm not going to meet anyone? You're the only think I can think of most of the time. I love you."

She felt a tear slip down her cheek. "I love you, too."

"I know you don't want to talk about your father, but he did something. Really nice and it shocked me."

"What?"

"Apparently, he spoke to the rental car company here in Boston and arranged for them to give me a brand new Ford Explorer. It's mine. He bought me a car."

"That wasn't my dad, Angel."

"Then who was it?"

She took a deep breath. "That was me. I couldn't bear the thought of you having to walk everywhere, especially with Boston being such a big city and everything. So I called up the rental car place there and bought you the car. I hope you like it."

"Like it? I love it. But you really didn't have to go to all that trouble."

"I wanted to." From outside, she heard a car door close. It was her father. "I gotta go. Dad's home."

He nodded in understanding. "Okay. I don't want to get you in any trouble."

"I'm already in enough trouble as it is."

"Then I don't want to get you in any more. I'll send you a letter this week with my address here and my phone number. Take care."

"Don't go falling for some gorgeous coed."

"It'll never happen. I love you, Buffy."

Buffy couldn't stop the tears this time around. "I love you more."

---

Three hours later, Angel sat at his desk, writing a letter to Buffy. He was so lost in his thoughts that he never heard the knocking at his door.

"Hi?"

Angel turned around when he heard the voice. Needless to say, he was more than a little shocked to find a pretty girl with long brown hair standing in his doorway. "I'm sorry. I didn't see you there," he apologized.

She smiled. "That's okay. You were deep in thought. I don't mean to interrupt you, but you're the first student I've seen since I got here. You and I seem to be the only ones on this floor."

"Oh. I haven't really walked around yet."

"God, I must seem really rude, waltzing in here and not even introducing myself. My name is Julia Michalek. Room 321."

"Well, Julia, I'm Angel Riches," he introduced himself. "Come on in. Make yourself at home."

She stepped inside. "Angel. That's quite a unique name."

"Sure. You try living with it."

Julia laughed at his comment. "No thanks. So, Angel, where are you from?"

"Sunnydale, California."

"Is that anywhere near L.A.?"

"Only a two hour drive up the coast. What about you?"

"A boring little town in New York, barely a speck on the map. Hardly even worth mentioning," she divulged. Walking over to his desk, she picked up a small framed picture of Buffy and Angel. "She's pretty. Your sister?"

Angel looked at the picture she was holding. "No, that's my girlfriend. It was taken at the Fourth of July Carnival."

"Oh." Julia was filled with disappointment. The moment she'd seen Angel, she felt an attraction to him, a spark she'd never felt before for anyone else. It was love at first sight. He was by far one of the most handsome men she'd ever laid eyes on. "Have you two been dating for a long time?"

"Almost five months now."

"That's not very long."

"You're right. But I'm completely devoted to her, and vice versa. Do you have somebody waiting for you back home?" he wanted to know.

"Hardly," Julia scoffed. "Bad breakup a few months back. I came here to start a brand new life. I didn't want anything holding me back."

Angel gave her a half-smile. "It's the opposite for me. Buffy wanted me to come here. If not for her, I'd still be in Sunnydale, going to school with her. Though I wish I had stayed. I miss her like crazy."

"She sounds like a great girl. Well, I'll let you get back to your brooding, Angel Riches. See you around. Maybe we'll do lunch this week."

"Sounds like fun."

As she walked out the door, Julia sighed. 'The most gorgeous guy I have ever seen and he's taken. Go figure.'

---

"There you are!" Cordelia exclaimed when she found her best friend sitting alone in the Student Union commissary. "I was wondering where you went to after Calculus this morning. You took off like a bat out of hell."

Buffy looked up from the pictures she was poring over. "Sorry I ran out like that, Cordy. I had to get to the darkroom and develop these pictures before someone else got in their first."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Your first portfolio is due on Friday, isn't it?"

"Yep."

She glanced at her friend's pictures. There were at least twenty or thirty black-and-white photographs sitting on the table in front of her. All the pictures were of smiling couples, including a few of herself and Xander, and Buffy and Angel. "What's the topic of it?"

"Isn't it obvious? Love."

"And you've included pictures of me and Xander? Why?"

"It's the different stages of love. Early, carefree love versus lifelong, utterly devotional love. Does that make any sense at all? It's stupid, I know. I should think up something more original."

Cordelia nodded. "No, it's a great topic. Actually, it does make sense. And I don't need to question which category you and Angel fit into." She looked over the photos for a little longer. "These are some great pictures, Buffy."

"They're okay, I guess."

"Then you're looking at something different because these kick ass. Looks like you've found your niche. Photography. You could be the next Herb Ritts."

Buffy shrugged. "Somehow, I doubt that."

"Okay. Might as well change the subject, Miss Modesty. So tell me, how's Angel doing?"

The mention of her boyfriend's name brought a smile to her face. "He's good. I didn't talk to him this week, though," Buffy told her. "We've both been really busy with school and stuff like that."

"Are you sure everything's okay? Did you have a fight or something? You just don't seem like yourself," the brunette noted.

"No, we didn't have a fight. It's…this long-distance relationship thing is harder than I thought. Talking to him on the phone just isn't cutting it, I suppose. Cordy, it's been a month since he left for Massachusetts and I'm miserable without him. I miss him like crazy."

"I know you do. It's obvious to everyone. But you've lived without him for so long. You'll make it."

She sadly shook her head. "I almost wish I hadn't told him to leave. Deep inside, I still have this fear of Angel meeting some beautiful girl and dumping me for her."

"That's crazy talk. You are the only thing that boy sees, trust me. Ask anyone; Xander, Melissa, his mother, anyone! No girl is ever going to come between you two." Cordelia checked the time on her watch. "Shit. I'm going to be late for Astronomy. Give me a call tonight?"

"Will do."

For half an hour after Cordelia left for class, Buffy sat at the table alone, trying to decide which pictures to use for her assignment. She was lost in her thoughts and did not see the approach of a tall, blonde-haired man.

"Excuse me, but don't I know you from somewhere?" he asked her.

She lifted her head upwards, staring at the good-looking man. His cerulean eyes were hypnotizing, Buffy nearly lost herself in them. Tall, muscular, bleach-blonde hair, and attractive. He was certainly handsome, she couldn't deny that. But in a different way from Angel. While her boyfriend was handsome in a rugged, classic way, this man was mysterious and dangerously handsome; a combination that would send any girl's heart racing.

"I'm sorry, I don't know. I don't think we've met," Buffy replied.

He smiled at her. "Oh, I know for a fact that we haven't met," the man said in a thick British accent. "A beauty like you, I could never forget your name."

Buffy blushed at his remarks. "You're too generous with your compliments."

"Not nearly generous enough, if you ask me. Honestly, though, I do believe you and I are in the same English class. Two o'clock with Professor Schmit?"

"Then I guess you're right. I'm sorry, but I don't remember seeing you there."

"I sit in the back of the classroom. Believe me, I've seen you. Haven't been able to take my eyes off of you since I first saw you walk in the door." He smiled flirtatiously at her. "When I saw you sitting here, I had to come over and introduce myself. My name is William. But you may call me Will. All my friends do."

"Buffy."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Buffy." Will saw the pictures scattered on the table. "You are a photographer, I take it?"

She frowned. "Amateur. It's for a class I'm taking."

"They're outstanding." He picked up a picture she'd taken of herself and Angel at the beach house before he'd left for school. "Ah, but you belong in front of the camera, not hidden behind it."

"I don't think so."

"Who is the man in the picture with you? A friend of yours?" he wanted to know.

"My boyfriend, actually."

Will raised his eyebrows. "And where is this boyfriend of yours?"

"In Boston attending school. He goes to Emerson College."

He nodded in understanding. "I see. A long-distance relationship. It must be difficult on the two of you."

"To say the least. I miss seeing him every day and hearing his voice. But I know he feels the same way I do."

"He'd have to. You will have to tell him what a lucky man he is, to be so close to you. Pardon me, my apologies for interrupting you. It was a pleasure to finally meet you, Buffy." Will took her hand in his and lightly kissed the back of it.

"Likewise."

"I hope to see you again. Whether it be in or outside of class."

"Me, too," Buffy agreed. "But I have a boyfriend."

"I'll have to remember that."

---

"Missy? Did you hear me?" Willow asked impatiently. Her friend was staring at something on the other side of the dining area.

Melissa broke out of her reverie. "What did you say, Will? I didn't hear you."

"Yeah, I noticed. I wanted to know if you'd heard from your brother recently. How's he doing? Loving Emerson?"

"Angel adores the place. Tuesday he called us and talked nonstop about some writing workshop he attended. Apparently he spoke to an author who had taken an interest in a story he wrote," Melissa explained.

Willow grinned. "That's great. Nobody deserves it more than him. He must he glad he went there after all."

"Angel'd never admit it to me, but I'm sure he is."

"He is still seeing Buffy, isn't he?"

"Yep." Inwardly, Melissa groaned. Her truce with her brother's girlfriend hadn't meant anything to her. It was simply a way to get her brother off her back about her behavior. "I know they talk on the phone all the time. But they've both been busy with school, he told me. It's kind of straining the relationship."

"Wow. Do you think it's going to last?" Willow wanted to know.

"Don't know. I mean, as much as I want it to, for Angel's sake, I have a bad feeling. It's a statistical fact that most long-distance relationships don't last. But after what he went through with Kelley, I know he's determined to make it work."

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Buffy talking to a handsome young man. She's been watching her brother's girlfriend while Willow was talking to her. Anger filled her at seeing the girl smiling at the other man. 'Looks like she's making some new friends. I could use that to my advantage. She and Angel aren't talking as much…she's meeting new people…good-looking guys…'

Willow followed Melissa's gaze. "Isn't that Buffy?"

Melissa nodded her head. "Uh-huh. Wonder who the guy is that she's talking to."

"Probably a friend from one of her classes," Willow assumed. She caught the expression on her friend's face. "You don't think she's cheating on Angel, do you?"

"Of course not!" Melissa knew that Buffy wouldn't do that to her brother, as much as she hated to admit it. The girl really did love Angel, she believed it. That didn't mean she had to like it. But Melissa was also aware that both Angel and Buffy were afraid of the other finding someone else. "He's probably just a friend, you're right, Willow."

---

"How's Mom doing?" Angel questioned when Melissa called him that night. "Is something wrong with her? Is that why you called me?"

"No, Mom's perfectly fine, don't worry. The doctor said everything's normal."

Angel knit his eyebrows together. Something didn't sit right. "Okay the, what is it? I know you too well, Missy, and you didn't call for no reason. Tell me."

She took a deep breath. All afternoon long, she had been preparing what she would say to her brother. "I-I don't quite know how to say it."

"Just tell me."

"But it'll hurt you. I don't want you to be hurt."

Angel was becoming impatient; his sister was giving him the runaround. "Melissa…"

"All right. Angel, I'm so sorry that I have to be the one to tell you this. It's about Buffy."

He filled with fear. "Did something happen to her? Was there an accident? Is she okay?" The thought of Buffy being hurt, or worse, sent him into a panic.

"There wasn't any kind of accident. She's fine. Better than fine, actually. Angel, she…she's seeing someone. And she is telling everyone it's over between you two," Melissa lied. 'Mission accomplished,' she thought. 'The bitch will be out of our lives for good.'

---

Angel didn't say anything for a full minute. His sister's words repeated in his mind over and over again. "How…what…when…I don't understand. Why would she do something like that?"

"I really don't know. I thought you two would make it." 'Yeah, right.'

"No," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "This can't be happening. We just spoke on the phone last week and everything was fine. Well, she was a little distant, but I figured it was because of school and that big project she has due."

"I didn't want you to find out like this, Angel. I hate having to be the one to tell you about it."

He slumped down on his bed, his entire body shaking. 'How can this be happening?' "Why?" Angel questioned, his eyes burning. "Buffy and I swore to each other we'd stay faithful while we were separated. Why would she do it?"

"I don't know," Melissa repeated.

"How do you know about this? Did Xander tell you? Or Willow?"

"I saw them today during lunch. They had their hands all over each other," she lied. All she had seen was an innocent, friendly kiss on the hand. But she couldn't tell Angel that.

"Oh god." He wanted to die. The mere thought of Buffy being with someone else hurt him more than anything in the world.

On the other end of the line, his sister was grinning like a Cheshire cat. 'He's buying it,' she thought. 'This is going to be easier than I thought it would be.' "Buffy should be the one telling you this, not me. I know you love her, but she's a two-timing bitch. Look at what she's doing to you. Gone only a month and already she's screwing some other guy. Angel, I don't want to say I told you so –"

"Then don't," he ordered, his voice raw with emotion. "I can't believe this is happening to me all over again. What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you!" Melissa assured her brother. "You're a great guy, but you've got rotten taste in women. You can't see what they're really like. And that's no reflection on you whatsoever."

"Then why does this keep happening to me?" he cried. "First Kelly dumps me for Parker. I can understand that and I know her reasons. I wasn't giving her what she needed. But with Buffy, I just don't get it. I gave her everything I had, I loved her more than anybody. We swore to each other we'd be faithful, she was going to transfer to Boston College so we could be closer to one another. Now suddenly, out of the blue, she meets some random guy and decides to throw all our dreams out the window? Was I not good enough for her? What?!"

"You're too good for her. She's a spoiled, snobby princess who is used to getting what she wants when she wants it."

Harsh reality hit Angel like a ton of bricks. "I was nothing but a toy. A new game to play during the summer. She set out to make me love her and I did. She succeeded."

"I'm sorry," apologized Melissa. "Buffy should be the one telling you this, not me."

"It was supposed to be forever," he muttered. "We were going to show everyone."

"I hate her for making you feel this way. She made a fool out of you, even worse than Kelley did."

He couldn't listen to it any longer. His heart was shattered in a million pieces, and all he wanted to do was be alone; away from anyone or anything that reminded him of Buffy. "Good-bye," he said, barely above a whisper. Without another word, he hung up the telephone and let the tears fall from their confines.

---

Julia had been waiting in her room for nearly twenty minutes. Angel was late, and that was not like him at all. The two of them were going to a local club; she had been trying for weeks to get him to go with her, always to no avail.

'I finally convince him to go out with me and he chickens out,' she said to herself. 'No way. That boy spends enough time in that room of his. He needs to stop brooding and start partying.'

Closing her dorm room door behind her, she headed to the boys' wing of her floor. In her mind, she thought up all the different lines she'd use to make him feel guilty for standing her up. Knocking twice on his partially open door, Julia entered.

"I cannot believe you're backing out on your promise!" she accused. "Why would you stand me…"

She stopped talking the second she saw her friend. He was sitting with his head in his hands. Muffled sobs could be heard coming from him. "Angel?"

He looked up, showing her his bloodshot brown eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "I'm…I can't tonight, Jules. I'm sorry."

Julia reached behind her to close his door, knowing he would want privacy. "What's wrong?"

"Melissa called," he managed to choke out.

The worst possible scenario entered her mind. "It's your mom, isn't it? Did something happen to her?" She knew how sick Mrs. Riches was, and how guilty Angel felt about being so far away.

Solemnly, Angel shook his head. "No. It's…it's Buffy."

"Did something happen to *her*?"

"Is there something wrong with me?" he wanted to know.

The question shocked her. "Why would you ask me something like that?"

Angel sniffled. "Why do they keep doing this to me? Am I not enough for them? I gave them both everything and that still wasn't enough? What more do they want?"

"I don't understand what you're asking. Who's 'they'?"

"Girls."

Julia nodded. "Buffy did something, didn't she? Is that why you're so upset? It'll all blow over. I'm sure of it."

"No, it won't," he said. "Buffy…she's seeing someone else back in Sunnydale. And it's over."

She sat down next to him, adjusting her tight black miniskirt so that it didn't ride up on her. "Angel, I'm so sorry. I know how much you love her."

"Again…it's happening again. Why is this always happening to me?"

"Again?" she repeated. "She did this to you before?"

Fresh tears began to fall freely. "Kelley cheated on me."

'His ex-girlfriend,' Julia recalled. 'How awful for him. Don't these girls know how lucky they are? Angel's the perfect guy and they keep screwing him over.' "They don't deserve you, then."

"I love her so much," he professed. "Buffy is everything in the world to me. We've done everything together; we made love for the first time together and we went through hell together. How can that not mean anything to her, after all we've been through?"

Julia got up off the bed and grabbed several tissues from the box on Angel's desk. When she sat back down again, she wiped the tears from his eyes. "I don't know. Maybe she couldn't wait for you."

"Missy said she's telling everybody it's over between us."

She raised her eyebrows. "Your sister told you about this? Not Buffy?"

"No. Missy called half an hour ago."

"I thought you said once that Missy doesn't like Buffy."

"She doesn't. Well, she didn't used to like her. They called a truce over the summer," Angel informed her. "For me."

"Is it possible that Melissa lied to you about Buffy? From what you have told me, you and Buffy are really devoted to one another. It doesn't sound like it's possible for her to cheat on you."

"No way," Angel disagreed. "Missy knows how much it would hurt me if she lied about it. And I know her. My sister may not be Buffy's biggest fan, but she would never purposely hurt me." He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand. "Julia, it hurts so much I wanna die."

She rubbed his back in a show of comfort. "Shh. Don't say stuff like that. People need you, Angel. "*I* need you. You're the best friend I've got here."

Angel looked deep into her big green eyes and found the solace and support he needed. "Jules, I…"

He let the sentence trail off, bringing his lips to hers instead. The act took Julia by surprise; it was the last thing she expected him to do. 'We shouldn't be doing this,' she thought. 'But how can I stop when I've wanted this since I first met him?'

His lips were soft, just like she'd imagined they would be, and tasted salty from his tears. Their kiss was gentle, sweet and promised passion. Her mouth opened to invite his tongue inside, and he lost himself in the act of kissing her. Angel's hands slipped from her shoulders to find the buttons of her red midriff blouse. When he successfully unbuttoned the top button, she pushed him away, unable to let it go any further.

"We can't do this, Angel," she said once she caught her breath.

He only gazed at her. "I don't…why? Don't you want to?"

And she did want to. Since the first time she'd laid eyes on him, Julia had fantasized about him, about them. In every one of her dreams, Angel broke up with his girlfriend and realized it was her he loved. They'd kiss and make love for hours until they spent their passion, falling asleep in one anothers' arms.

"I can be here for you, but not like that," she told him. "You're hurt and I don't want to take advantage of the situation."

Angel didn't say anything right away. "So it is me after all."

"No," she said, shaking her head in disagreement. "It's not you, trust me on this. I just don't want you to do something tonight that you'll write off as a weak moment tomorrow morning."

"Julia –"

"I refuse to be your rebound girl."

Her words brought more tears to his eyes. "She was afraid of that. Buffy thought at the beginning that she was the rebound girl because we started going out right after Kelley broke up with me."

Julia brought his head to her shoulder, letting him cry on her. "It'll be okay, Angel. You'll get through this. I know it seems hopeless right now, but it'll all work out."

"I love her," he stated simply.

"Then she's a fool for giving up on your love. You're going to make some lucky girl very happy one of these days. And Buffy's going to realize how stupid she was for letting you go."

Angel shook his head. "I can't go back there. I can never go back."

"You can and you will. Just give your wounds some time to heal."

"They'll never heal."

"Yes they will. What you need is closure."

"Closure? The only girl I have ever truly loved dumped me for some guy she met after only a month away from me. I'd say that's closure."

She frowned, hearing the hurt and agony in his voice. "Well, you're a writer. Write your feelings out, tell your side of the story. And once it's done, burn it. You can do it, Angel. Pour your heart and soul into it, every part of you that she controls, and then destroy it. It's the only way to get over her," Julia suggested. "Aside from finding someone else. Writing is more healthy than jumping into a new relationship."

Angel understood. "Write our story…you're right. I *can* do it. I'll put Buffy Summers behind me."

But a voice in the back of his mind told him it was easier said than done.

---

The idea of being paired up with Bethany Sanford put a sense of dread deep inside Adam's heart. There was nothing he wanted *less* than to work with her. His best friend had only laughed at his misfortune while other members of the class offered sympathetic glances his way. It was Adam's worst nightmare come true. The last thing he wanted to do was work with the Ice Princess of Porter High School.

"I'm as excited about this as you are," he told Bethany. "Working with you isn't exactly my dream here."

"It's not exactly mine, either," Bethany replied.

He grimaced. "Since we're here, we might as well make the best of it."

"Might as well. Wanna meet at my house? Say around two-thirty? We can sift through my dad's library and see what we can come up with."

"Fine," Adam said. "The quicker we start this project, the quicker we'll finish. Less time we'll have to spend together."

Returning to his seat diagonal from her, Adam couldn't see the look of disappointment written on Bethany's face.

Angel read over what he had just written. Taking Julia's advice, he had begun writing his and Buffy's story two weeks earlier, shortly after his sorrow had allotted him the energy. In the three weeks since he heard the news about Buffy and her new boyfriend, Angel had been trying to move past his grief, which hadn't been easy. The pain he felt in his heart – from his love's betrayal – would never go away. He truly believed he would never get over her.

'That's not how it happened,' Angel thought after he had re-read the scene. 'Buffy never did that. She was uninterested, not mean. God, why can't I get this right? I lived it, it shouldn't be all that hard to remember what we said to each other. I can remember everything else clear as day. Every word, every smile, every touch…'

Highlighting the words with his mouse, Angel pressed the DELETE key and the marked text disappeared. With his fingers poised over the home keys, he prepared to write the scene over again. But the ringing of the telephone caused him to stop.

He looked over at his Caller I.D. to see who it was. Buffy. Sighing, he closed his eyes as if in pain. She called nearly every single night, but Angel always refused to pick up the phone, knowing that if he did, Buffy would tell him that it was over between them. And he didn't want to hear it.

'I shouldn't let her get to me. I have the power here. Maybe if I keep not answering the telephone, she'll stop calling. Then she will think I met someone and she can't break up with me. I'll break her heart before she has a chance to break mine. Buffy won't win. I won't let her,' Angel swore.

"Hi, you've reached Angel's room. I stepped out for a couple minutes, but if you leave your name and number, along with a brief message, I'll call you back as soon as I get in," his answering machine stated.

There was a momentary pause after the beep. "Angel, it's me. Buffy. I…you haven't returned any of my phone calls and I really need to talk to you. I'm sure you're very busy with school and everything, but could you call me back whenever you get this message? It doesn't matter what time you call, I'll be home all night long."

Angel listened to her message, and the sound of her voice triggered something inside of him. All of his anger and hurt seemed to disappear upon hearing Buffy's sweet voice. He wanted to pick up the phone and tell her how much he loved her and needed her, even if she didn't feel it back. Maybe then the breakup wouldn't happen.

Her message continued. "I love you. And I miss you, so please, please call me back. I need to hear your voice. Love you. Bye."

After she hung up, Angel stared at the phone, wishing he had picked it up. "Love you," he repeated scornfully. His anger had returned the instant he stopped hearing her voice. "I loved you a hell of a lot more than you ever loved me."

---

The next night after dinner, Buffy pulled her car into the Riches' driveway. She was determined to find out what was wrong with Angel and why he hadn't returned any of her phone calls. Possible scenarios went through her mind, none of which she liked very much.

Knocking on the screen door in the front of the house, she waited patiently for either Mrs. Riches or Melissa to answer the door. They were home, she knew that for a fact, both cars were sitting in the driveway.

Melissa walked to the door when she heard the doorbell chime. When she saw who it was, an evil, devious smile played upon her lips, but she wiped it off before she came into sight. "Buffy, hi," she greeted cheerfully. "What are you doing here?"

"Sorry for bothering you, Melissa."

"It's no bother. I was inside doing my Biology homework and Mom went to bed early. What can I do for you?"

Buffy smiled sheepishly. "I was hoping maybe you could help me out with something. It's about your brother."

"I'll do my best."

"Thank you. Is he…okay? I mean, is something going on at Emerson that I should know about? Did something happen to Angel, maybe?" she asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"For the past three weeks, I haven't been able to get in touch with him," Buffy informed Melissa. "I've left dozens of messages and he hasn't returned any of them. And I thought that something might have happened. *Did* something happen? Should I be worried?"

Melissa shook her head. "No, Angel's fine. He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I thought he told you. I'm such an idiot; he said he was planning on telling you weeks ago."

"He was gonna tell me what, Melissa? Come on, you can't stop now. It has to do with me, doesn't it?"

Somberly, Melissa nodded her head. 'This is going to be so much fun,' she thought. 'Seeing the expression on Buffy's face is going to be worth it.' "Yeah, it does. I just can't believe Angel hasn't told you about her."

"Her?"

"Julia. She's a girl on his floor at school. They sort of hit it off at orientation and…"

She raised her eyebrows. "And?" she prodded. Fear gripped her insides at what Melissa was about to say to her. Deep inside, Buffy knew what was coming next.

"Buffy, they started seeing each other. It's only been three weeks, but they're pretty serious."

Buffy clutched her stomach, feeling nauseous for the second time that day. "No. You're joking with me. Angel wouldn't do that to me. It's supposed to be forever. We swore we'd stay faithful to one another."

'I swear, those two are sharing a brain or something. Both of them said the exact same thing.' "Angel should have been the one to tell you. I thought he had. I'm sorry."

"What-what did he say, exactly?" She trusted Angel's sister, believing that their truce over the summer had been genuine. Buffy had absolutely no reason to think that Melissa was trying to break up her and Angel; the thought never entered her mind.

"Not much. She's an aspiring actress –"

"I don't care about her!" Buffy exploded. "What did Angel say about me? About us? Is it really over?"

"Just that he met Julia and it was love at first sight. He feels really bad about having to hurt you, but he's very glad you made him go away and the money your dad gave him was extremely helpful. But…he said you were a stepping stone, a means to an end."

She cast her eyes to the ground. "The rebound girl," she mumbled. "No matter how many times he told me otherwise, I knew it. I never meant a thing to him. Not a damn thing."

"My brother is a jerk for hurting you like this, especially after all you've given to him. You gave him his self-confidence back, love, money and a chance to live out his dreams. And this is how he repays you."

Buffy backed away. "I can't hear anything else. Tell Angel he's about to lose…never mind, don't tell him anything. I have to live with this now. This is something I'll have to deal with on my own."

"I'm sorry," Melissa apologized.

"Not half as sorry as I am. I should have known. I knew he'd meet someone else. All his promises never meant a thing. *I* never meant a thing."

Melissa watched as Buffy trudged to her car. She had never seen anyone look so devastated. A small part of her felt guilty, but she knew what she had done was to help her brother find someone more suitable. 'Bye bye,' she said to herself. 'Now Angel can meet someone who deserves him. The Ice Princess should've known she didn't stand a chance in hell with my brother.'

---

Mr. Summers was concerned. Buffy hadn't left her room in over twelve hours; hadn't come downstairs to greet him when he came home from work the night before, didn't join him for breakfast and refused to attend classes in the morning. Granted, he knew she was still upset with him about the 'Angel situation', but holing herself up in her bedroom wasn't like Buffy.

He softly knocked on her bedroom door. "Honey? Are you okay? Is everything all right?"

"I'm fine" came the muffled reply.

"I have to go to Los Angeles for the day, would you like to come with me? I'll drop you off on Rodeo Drive and you can buy whatever you want. On me, of course."

Had she not been so brokenhearted, Buffy would have jumped at the chance of going on a shopping spree. "No thanks. I wanna be by myself for today." 'And every other day for the rest of my life.'

"Okay then. See you tonight."

He went back downstairs, wondering what was wrong with his daughter. It had sounded as if Buffy had been crying, but he couldn't be sure. 'Must be something seriously upsetting if she doesn't want to go shopping,' Mr. Summers said to himself. 'I'll let her be today, but come tomorrow I will make her tell me.'

As he was opening the front door on his way out, he found Buffy's best friend walking up the steps. "Good afternoon, Cordelia," Mr. Summers greeted.

"Hi," she replied with a cheerful smile. "Is Buffy home? She wasn't in class today and I stopped by to see if everything was okay."

"She's upstairs in her bedroom. I don't know what's going on with her, she wouldn't say. But she hasn't left her room since last night and won't tell me what's wrong. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did."

"I can't guarantee anything, but I'll try. Buffy could never keep a secret from me. I'll pry it out of her."

He smiled and nodded. "Thank you. It's times like this when I wish Buffy had a mother to talk to. Joyce would know exactly what to say."

"Don't worry, I'll find out."

She stepped inside the house and headed straight for her best friend's bedroom. The door was tightly closed, but Cordelia could hear low sounds coming from inside.

"Buffy?" she called. "It's me, Cordy. Can I come in?"

Ten seconds went by before she got an answer. "Sure. Yeah. Come in."

Cordelia opened the door, finding Buffy sitting Indian-style on her bed, wearing a gray shirt and black pants. A mahogany-framed picture sat in her lap. Her green eyes were red and puffy with tears, her cheeks stained black from running mascara.

"You've been crying," she stated rather than questioned. "What happened?"

Buffy took a deep breath and began to open her mouth to speak, but tears fell instead. Deciding to let her friend get her emotions out, the brunette picked up the picture, wanting to see who it was of, thinking it was the reason for the tears. She, at first, thought it would be of Mrs. Summers, but was shocked to see that it was Buffy and Angel. Then she understood.

"It's Angel, isn't it?" guessed Cordelia.

Buffy only nodded her head, unable to speak the words.

"Did something happen to him? Was there an accident of some sort? He's not dead, is he?"

"He's…not…dead," she said between sniffles. "In fact…Angel's…better than good."

"Then what's wrong? Why are you crying? Is it because you miss him?"

She wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand. "We made promises to each other. Together forever, no matter how much my dad tried to keep us apart, no matter what happened, we'd stay together."

"Buffy –"

"I was supposed to transfer to Boston College in the spring so we could be closer to one another. He and I made all kinds of plans, like getting an off-campus apartment, and getting married after we graduated. We talked about having children, having a *lot* of them! And now it'll never happen."

"You're overreacting, Buff. You dad isn't still mad at you about the whole 'Angel thing'. I think maybe a part of him admires what you did. You and Angel triumphed over adversity, so to speak. All for the sake of true love," Cordelia said to her.

She couldn't hold it in, not after all the things her best friend had just said. "Angel cheated on me!" she blurted out.

"What?" Cordelia was dumbfounded.

"Yeah, he found someone else. Some girl he met at orientation his first week there. Julia-something. Love at first sight, as cliched as it sounds."

Cordelia shook her head. "No way. He wouldn't do that. Not after Kelley did it to him. How can he do that to you when he knows how it feels, how awful it feels?"

"He did." Her face burned from the welled-up tears in her eyes that she refused to let fall. "Angel didn't even have the decency to tell me himself. Melissa told me last night."

"You heard this from Melissa? And you actually believe her? That girl would love to break you two up."

"It's true, everything she told me. I really *was* his rebound girl."

She sat down on the bed in front of Buffy. "That is *so* not true. Angel loves you."

"No, he doesn't. All I did was keep his mind off Kelley until someone better came along. This-this Julia girl. And now he's using my father's money to buy her everything she wants. Romantic dinners, jewelry, probably a house!"

"He wouldn't do that. Melissa is lying to you."

"If she's lying, then why hasn't he called me? It's been three weeks and I haven't heard a word from him. I've left messages upon messages on his answering machine. And not a single word in reply. If it's all just a lie, wouldn't Angel have called me? Wouldn't he?"

"That's…that…no way."

"Yes."

Cordelia sighed. It was all so hard to believe. Angel cheating on Buffy with some other girl? The gall of him astounded her. 'How could he use her that way, after he knew how she felt?' "Buffy, he's a fool. A big jerk, if you ask me. He made all these plans with you, and he forgets them for the first pretty girl who bats her eyelashes at him? What an asshole."

Buffy bit her lip. "Don't say stuff like that about him. You don't have to make him the bad guy."

"But that's the best friend's job. Vilifying and grousing."

"I-I can't. It's…it's so hard trying to imagine my life without him. I've been in love with him for the better part of thirteen years." Buffy let the tears fall. "All to be some summer fling for him."

"I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. It must be horrible for you."

Buffy looked her best friend in the eye. "I think horrible is still coming. Right now it's worse. Right now I'm just trying to keep from dying."

"Oh, Buffy."

Cordelia put her arms out to comfort her grieving friend. Instead of hugging her, Buffy rested her head on her legs and cried into the denim material of Cordelia's pants. "I can't breathe, Cordy. I feel like I can't breathe," she sobbed.

There was nothing she could say that would make her feel better. So Cordelia placed one hand on Buffy's shoulder and stroked her blonde hair with the other. "Shh. You'll get through this. I'll help you."

"I just wanna die. I don't want to live if he's not a part of my life."

A horrible thought went through Cordelia's mind. "Don't do it. You have too much to live for, Buffy. Please, don't do anything drastic over a stupid guy."

Buffy looked up at her with questions in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"Suicide. Don't you even think it. There's plenty of other guys out there who'd give anything to be with you. You just have to find one."

"I wasn't…I could never do something like that. I'd never kill myself."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god. The way you were talking, I thought you might want to…well, forget it."

"No. There's too much for me here, too much to live for. My friends, my family, school, etc.. I love Angel, and yes, I'd die for him. I'll always love him. Even if he's not with me, I have a piece of him with me. Nobody will be able to take that away. Nobody."

---

The last thing Adam Robertson ever expected was to love and be loved in return by Bethany Sanford. They had next to nothing in common, save for the fact that they grew up in the same town and attended the same high school. They were from two completely different worlds; Bethany, the daughter of a wealthy businessman, and Adam, a poor young man from the wrong side of the tracks. He was a loner, intelligent but almost always kept to himself. She was popular, but quiet, a beautiful girl who never thought of herself as such, with more ex-boyfriends than she could count. Separately, they were fire and ice, polar opposites. Together, they sparkled and erupted, a combustible force to be reckoned with.

---

Thirteen year old Bethany carried her lunch tray to an empty table in the middle of the cafeteria. She had nobody to sit with, her best friends, Catherine Cutler and Hope Krandall, were in the next lunch period, so she sat by herself, either reading a book or watching enviously as the other students talked and laughed and ate. There was nothing she wanted more than to be one of those laughing students. But they never let her into their group.

She sat down and picked up her grilled cheese sandwich, preparing to take a bite of it. As she raised it to her mouth, a balled-up piece of notebook paper hit her sandwich, and an eruption of laughter followed.

"Blubber Butt!" someone called. "Time for a diet, don't you think?"

Bethany took several deep breaths, trying to keep her emotions under control. No way did she want to show them her fear or her anger. 'Ignore them and maybe they'll go away,' she told herself.

From the table of students directly in front of Bethany, Melanie Robertson turned around to face her. "Hey, Princess, didn't you hear him?"

"Shut up, Melanie," Bethany croaked out.

"You know, they say if you stop eating altogether, your body feeds off its fat stores. Given a couple of weeks, you might lose enough weight to fit into a size thirty!"

She hung her head. It wasn't her fault she was overweight. But every time someone made fun of her about it, she would go home from school and eat until the pain and humiliation went away.

"Melanie, that's enough. Leave Bethany alone," a boy's voice said from the other end of the table. "If I were you, I wouldn't talk. You're not perfect either."

It was Melanie's brother Adam who was sticking up for her. Adam Robertson, the smartest boy in the eighth grade; Adam Robertson, with his dark brown hair and chocolate eyes; Adam Robertson, the boy Bethany had dreamed about every night since she was five years old.

He picked up his lunch and sat down at Bethany's table, choosing the seat across from her. "I'm sorry about Melanie."

"That's okay. I'm used to it by now."

"Can I sit with you?" he asked.

"They'll make fun of you, too."

He smiled. "No they won't. Not if they know what's good for them. Besides, right about now, I don't want to be seen with my so-called friends. The stuff they are saying is downright mean and untrue. You shouldn't listen to them."

Bethany shook her head. "No, they're right. I'm fat."

"No, you're not. Nobody's perfect, you know."

"I don't know about that. Your sister seems pretty close." 'I wish I looked like her.'

Adam leaned his head toward hers. "I'll let you in on a little secret about Melanie. She has to wear head gear at night because her teeth are so crooked."

She laughed. "You're joking."

"Scout's honor." He looked closely at her. "You have a really pretty smile, Bethany. You should do it more often. Smile, that is."

"Thank you," she replied shyly.

"You're welcome. Trust me, when we get into high school, you'll be breaking hearts left and right. I bet you'll even be Prom Queen when we're seniors."

She shook her head once more. "I doubt it. I'll never be Prom Queen. I'm not pretty enough."

"We'll see about that. Are you going to the eighth grade dance? It's the last dance before we graduate."

"I don't know," Bethany responded. "Catherine and Hope want me to go with them, but I haven't decided yet."

Adam smiled at her. "Well, if you do decide to go, would you save me a dance?"

"Sure."

"I'm giving you fair warning, though, Bethany. I have two left feet and I might step on you. Truth is, I can't dance to save my life. Melanie gave up trying to teach me. Guess I'm not perfect either."

"That's okay. I can't dance very well myself."

---

He was filled with both passion and dread. Never before had two such different emotions clutched his heart at the same time, both with equal strength and vigor. Part of him was panicking, fearful of what was to come. Another part was perfectly content, blissfully happy about the recent turn of events.

They'd only been together for three weeks, hardly a drop in the bucket when compared to the amount of time he had been with Kristine. And it was less than twenty-four hours since he and Bethany expressed their feelings for one another. She loved him; had for thirteen years and Adam had never known. Hell, he never even suspected she had those types of feelings for him. He himself was shocked when he realized he was in love with her, too. And now they were about to culminate their love for one another by making love for the first time.

That was what filled Adam with such dread. Certainly he loved Bethany with all his heart and soul, and wanted to share that experience with her. He couldn't deny that. But he was terrified, despite the fact that he loved Bethany. There was a reason.

He was a virgin.

After dating Kristine for three years, they had never gone all the way. It simply wasn't something he wanted, or needed. And it drove his first love into the arms – and bed – of another man. With Bethany, though, he wanted and needed to physically show her how deep his love for her ran. What terrified Adam was the mere thought of doing something wrong and disappointing her.

Bethany had had other lovers before him, that he was sure of. For years, he'd heard the guys at school talking about their experiences with her. Her talented mouth, roaming hands, arousing body; she was experienced in matters of sex. Adam was not.

'What if I mess up?' he asked himself as he felt Bethany's hands run up and down his bare back, still wet from the rain outside. 'How can boring old me compare to some of the guys she's been with? There's no way I can. I'll disappoint her and lose my true love forever, I just know it.'

---

Across the crowded dance floor, he caught sight of her. Her back was to him, but Adam knew it was Bethany just by the long blonde curls cascading down her back. He had to see her, had to say something to her. Had to tell her.

"Beth?" he said when he stood behind her. He was close enough to touch her, close enough to physically turn her around and crush his mouth to hers.

She turned to face him. "Adam," she whispered. Her heart fluttered upon seeing her love.

The ten years that had passed since their heart-wrenching breakup hadn't changed her all that much. Bethany's hair had grown several inches and she'd lost any semblance of baby fat she'd once had. If anything, she had grown more beautiful in his eyes.

Adam held out his hand to her. "Would you dance with me? For old time's sake, of course."

She nodded. "I'd be honored to."

Guiding her to the dance floor, Adam found an empty space and pulled her into his arms. With her body moving as one with his, he felt like he had returned home. Right there in her arms was where he was meant to be.

"How have you been?" he wanted to know.

She shrugged. "I'm okay. It's been a rough few years."

Adam frowned. "I heard about your husband. I am sorry about that. A plane crash, how awful for you. And for him. You have my deepest sympathies."

"Thanks. I'm fine now. Michael had just filed for divorce when it happened, we were having some major problems at the time."

"I had no idea."

"Not many people did. We kept up a happy facade for my father's sake. But there was no love there," she told him. "What about you? Have you had better luck in the marriage department than I did?"

Adam shook his head. "Nobody else has ever captured my heart like you did. And nobody ever will."

"Adam…"

"No, Beth, let me say this. There's been nobody else. I never got over losing you. I loved you ten years ago, I love you now and I will love you until the day I die. Whether you feel the same way or not."

She lifted her head from his shoulder to look him in the eye. "Me, too. That's why Michael was divorcing me, because I was still in love with you. And I still am."

"Why?" he asked. "If we love each other still, why didn't we make it work?"

"Long distance relationships don't work out, Adam. It was a longshot, we both knew that when you left town. Distance tore us apart."

"Do you still love me?"

She nodded her head. "Yes. I never stopped, not for a minute."

"Then what is stopping us from trying again? Absolutely nothing. If we love each other, we can make it work. I can move back to town, or you can move to New York with me. You are the only reason I even came to this reunion. And I won't leave without you."

"I love you. I don't care where we are, as long as we're together. What do you say we leave this place and have our own private reunion at my house?"

---

Angel tried to gauge Julia's expression when she put the last page of his book down on the bed, on top of the other pages she had just finished. "Well? What do you think?"

---

Julia stared at her friend for what seemed like forever before giving any kind of an answer. She was dumbfounded at what she had just read.

Angel, on the other hand, was worried when she didn't say anything. "Jules? Is something wrong? Was it that bad?" It was the first time he'd let anybody read his work and the wait was nerve-wracking.

"That…that really happened? All of it?" she asked.

He nodded his head. "Yeah, for the most part. Everything except for the ending is completely true. I couldn't have made it up if I'd tried."

"All of it…wow. I never thought that could happen to anyone. It was like something out of Days of Our Lives or some show like that. A guy and a girl from opposite sides of town falling in love, even though everyone else wanted them to break up. Did your parents actually go out back in high school or was that for dramatic effect?"

"Really happened. Dated for a month or two when they were eighteen. It's a small world after all."

"It amazes me, though. Buffy was in love with you for years and she dumps all of it – her hopes and dreams for half her life – after being away from you for only a month? There's a fly in that logic ointment somewhere. Maybe her dad got to her and convinced her to go out with that guy and Melissa saw it and took it to mean she wanted it to be over."

With a shake of his head, Angel disagreed. He'd gone over every possible reason for Buffy leaving him, and none of them made any sense. "I don't think so. If that were the case, Buffy wouldn't have been telling anyone who'd listen that it was over between us. It's not like her."

"You're probably right. You know her better than I do." She paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. "That book, it reads like fiction. You'd never think it really happened. It grips you and doesn't let go. You have an amazing talent, Angel. I couldn't put it down. I could tell it was written from the heart and not the mind."

Angel frowned. "It's what you told me to do. Now it's time for the next step in the healing process."

"What next step?" Julia wanted to know.

"Letting go of the past. I'm going to burn it."

Julia picked up the three hundred pages he had written, holding them against her breast. "You can't do that. I won't let you do it. Forget what I said about taking the next step."

"What are you doing? Give me the pages so I can end this once and for all."

She shook her head. "Not on your life. You poured your heart and soul into this book and now that it's done, you want to destroy all of your hard work? It's not gonna happen. This is too good to end up in a wastebasket."

"What do you expect me to do with it? Keep it? No, I lived it, thank you very much. Every last word is etched into my memory. I have no need for it, now let me burn the pages," Angel said to her.

"I want to keep it."

"Excuse me? Why?"

"Because I want to, okay?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "I want to re-read it. Is that okay with you?"

He relented. "Go right ahead. Just don't mention it to me. I'd kinda like to forget it, if at all possible. Promise me you'll burn it when you're done."

"Deal. What do you say you and I got out to celebrate? It's not every day one of my friends writes his first novel. Come on, it'll be my treat."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

She glanced curiously into his eyes. "You know, Angel, it's been over a year. Don't you think the mourning period is over? It's time to go out there and meet someone."

"I don't feel like going out."

"Well, you certainly aren't going to meet anyone when you're in your room, brooding twenty-four/seven, are you?" she asked pointedly.

"I don't want to meet anyone."

With an aggravated sigh, Julia placed her hand on his shoulder. "You still love her, don't you? Never mind, don't answer that, because I already know the answer to that question. I want you to listen to me. I'm your friend and I care about you too much to see you like this. You and Buffy broke up fifteen months ago. You're going to have to face the world sometime."

"I'm not ready to."

"You're stuck in limbo, do you realize that? Angel, you haven't even been home to see your family since the breakup. You took summer courses and stayed here for winter break. Don't you think you should face your demons back in Sunnydale? Lay the past to rest, so to speak."

"I'm a hell of a lot happier here by myself. Besides, my mom and sister came here to visit me for Christmas. I've seen them," he stated.

"You're miserable, though. Don't pretend I don't see it, 'cause I do. What you need is to get out of here and meet someone who'll take your mind off of her."

"Julia, you don't get it. I've had two girlfriends my entire life, starting from the age of fourteen. I loved them both and gave them everything I possibly could. And do you know where that got me? Nowhere. They both fucked me over. So, pardon me for wanting a little time to myself," Angel exclaimed.

"I'm sorry. I-I won't bring it up again," she apologized.

---

Angel knocked on the open door to Professor Lockley's office. "Professor? You wanted to see me?"

The young, pretty, blonde-haired professor looked up from the papers she was grading. "Yes. Please, come in and have a seat. Would you mind closing the door behind you?"

He did as the professor asked of him. "I got the message you left for me on my answering machine. Is there something I can do for you?" It had seemed strange to Angel that she had called him. He'd never taken a single one of her courses.

"It's more along the lines of the other way around, Angel. I believe I can do something for you," Professor Lockley told him.

"I'm afraid I'm not following."

"A friend of yours is in my Creative Fiction course on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Julia Michalek."

Angel nodded. "Yeah, she's one of my good friends."

"A few weeks ago, she stopped by my office and asked me to read something one of her friends had written. I could never turn down the opportunity to read something fresh and new, so I, of course, agreed." She picked up the stack of pages in the corner of her desk, holding them up for him to see. "Do you recognize it, Angel?"

He saw the title page. FIRE AND ICE by Angel Riches. It was his book. "It's mine, that's the book I wrote. Julia gave it to you?"

"She wanted me to read it, as I said."

"I'm gonna kill her," he muttered.

"When I read it, I was in awe that a nineteen-year old could write something this brilliant. You have a colorful imagination and quite a way with words for someone so young. Which is why I sent it to a friend of mine at Pocket Books. He's a literary agent who is always on the lookout for new talent. Quite often, when I am impressed with a student's work, I'll send it to him. I certainly hope you don't mind that I have let him read it."

Angel's jaw dropped. "You sent him my story?" 'That story is so personal and private…now people I don't even know are reading it. They're reading my thoughts and feelings, reading about my love for Buffy.'

"Like I said before, I hope you don't mind. You are a very talented writer, which I'm sure is why you were accepted here at Emerson. A great number of graduates have gone on to become award-winning authors. That being the case, I figured you wouldn't mind. Perhaps that was your goal all along."

"It is. One of my dreams has always been to be a writer. And no, I don't mind. It's just a little disconcerting, that's all."

Professor Lockley smiled. "I don't doubt it. Anyway, I received a call from him last night. He's interested in publishing your book, Angel."

"What?" Angel wasn't sure if he'd heard correctly.

"He wants to publish it. His name is Daniel Markins." She handed him a business card. "This is his phone number. Daniel wants you to call him and set up a meeting so you can go over the specifics of the publication."

"I…I'm speechless, Professor Lockley."

"This type of thing doesn't happen every day. You're one of the few, one of the lucky. Angel, this might very well be it. You are truly on your way."

'A published author by nineteen years old,' he thought. 'If only I could tell Buffy. She'd be so proud that I achieved my goal. She really did make my dreams come true. Except for one. I can't share it with her.'

---

Cordelia squeezed Buffy's hand as they walked through the mall two days before Christmas. "Thank you *so* much for coming with me while I do all this last-minute shopping."

"No problem. I know what a procrastinator you are," Buffy said. "Besides, I needed a reason to get out of the house."

"Yeah, tell me about it! It's like pulling teeth to get you to go out anywhere these days."

"Sorry," she responded half-heartedly. "I guess there hasn't been too much reason for me to go out lately. It's a lot easier to stay in. With you away at school and Harmony in New York trying her hand at acting, there isn't anybody here for me."

At the beginning of their sophomore year, Cordelia transferred to UCLA to study drama. Buffy, despite her plans to move to Boston, remained at UC Sunnydale, studying photography.

"Are you trying to give me a guilt trip about going away to school? Because frankly, my dear, after a year and a half, it's not going to work."

Buffy smiled. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I had my chance to leave and I didn't. That was my choice and I have to live with it."

"That's not your fault," Cordelia reminded her. "Circumstances beyond your control and all that stuff. It wasn't like you planned on it happening."

"Doesn't make me feel any better. I don't know, maybe I'm getting nostalgic for high school. Life seemed a lot simpler back then."

Cordelia bit her lip. "Right now probably isn't the best time to bring this up, but I thought you'd like to know."

"Know what?" Buffy asked, her curiosity piqued.

"He's back in town."

She didn't reply right away; too many feelings were rushing through her mind at once, too numerous to keep track of. "Oh. Wh-when did he get back?"

"The day before yesterday. I ran into him at the supermarket this morning and said hi. He was there with some girl I've never seen before."

"Probably his girlfriend," Buffy said in a small voice.

"God, Buffy, I'm so sorry. I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"No, it's okay. I need to hear this. There's no chance of me and Angel getting back together. A part of me still thinks it'll happen, though."

"You never know, it could happen. Hell, you could make it happen. All you have to do is tell him. Then there's no way he can walk away from you again."

Buffy shook her head. "I can't. Too much time has passed and he probably wouldn't even care. On top of that, he has a girlfriend."

"You're giving up too easily."

"No, I'm not. I'm being realistic. Look, can we drop it? It's just going to bring me down."

Cordelia raised her eyebrows, but was happy to oblige. The subject of Angel wasn't her favorite one, especially considering what he'd done to her friend. "Whatever you want. It's your life."

"You're right, it *is* my life. Do you mind if we stop at the bookstore? I want to pick up the new Stephen King Book for my dad."

"Not at all."

The two walked in virtual silence to the bookstore on the other end of the mall. Cordelia knew she'd hit a sore spot when she'd mentioned Angel, but didn't want to press it. Her friend had gone through too much in the past two years, Angel Riches being the reason for most of it.

No sooner had they walked into the store when Buffy stopped dead in her tracks. Her friend almost collided with her. "What's wrong? Why did you stop like that?"

"I – that," she answered, pointing to a display.

At first, Cordelia couldn't understand why a book display would cause Buffy to come to a screeching halt. Then she saw it. "Buffy, just keep walking."

"I can't. It's his book. I-I have to."

"No. You don't have to do anything. You said it yourself, he's out of your life. He has a girlfriend. I thought you wanted it over."

"I owe it to Angel to read his book," said Buffy, picking up a copy from the display. "No matter what's happened between us."

Cordelia took it from her, putting it back on the shelf. "You don't owe him anything. He cheated on you, remember? If anything, he owes you."

Buffy read the back of the book after picking it up again. She surmised the premise of her Angel's book. "It's about us. He wrote about us, Cordy."

"You don't know that for a fact."

"'A touching story about finding true love in the last place you'd expect…what happens when the poorest boy in town falls in love with the wealthiest girl?' You can't tell me that doesn't sound a little familiar."

"So what? Why put yourself through the hell of reading it? Buffy, you lived it; you already know how it ends."

Shaking her head, Buffy clutched the book to her chest. "You can't stop me, Cor. This is his side of the story. Maybe I'll be able to find out the reason he left me behind. I need that piece of mind. Don't I deserve that much?" she asked.

With a grimace, Cordelia relented. She knew there was no stopping her best friend when she set her mind on something. "Fine. But don't come crying to me when you read something you don't like."

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