There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal what we think? How we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

The four of them danced and talked for another forty-five minutes. After learning more about Angel, Buffy still found it hard to believe that a nice, friendly guy like him had to use girls for sex. It blew her mind. As she told Willow earlier in the evening, it wasn't going to change the fact that she wanted to know him better.

At quarter to ten, she stood up, grabbing her purse. "I hate to bail on you guys, but I promised Mom I'd be home early tonight."

"Are you sure you can't stay a little longer?" Willow asked hopefully.

"I can't. Mom's been really over-protective since she found out about the whole Slayer thing. It's best to shut up and just keep her happy," Buffy explained.

"Okay. See you tomorrow at school?"

Buffy smiled. "You got it."

"Actually," Angel began, "I should get going as well. First day of classes tomorrow and I've got Math at nine. I'm going to need all the sleep I can get."

Oz and Willow nodded. "Alright, Angel. Give me a call this weekend and I'll let you sit in on a Dingoes rehearsal," he said.

"Sounds great. Buffy, do you mind if I walk with you?"

"Not at all. I'd love the company."

"Willow, it was nice meeting you finally," Angel said, extending his hand for her to shake.

She shook it. "Same here. The four of us will have to get together again soon."

Saying their goodbyes, Buffy and Angel left the Bronze. Oz, before his cousin had left, reminded him to tell Buffy the truth. Even though Willow already told her, he wanted Angel to admit it to her face. Whether or not he'd tell the entire story was up to him.

"Angel's not a bad guy, Wills," Oz said. "You just have to get to know him."

"Yeah, I know. I guess I didn't give him a fair shot. I feel so bad for him, especially after what you told me."

Oz frowned. "He's had it rough. Between Brandon's death, his dad, and everything that happened in Indiana, Angel deserves someone who can see the real him. Buffy might be that person. At least I hope she is."

"I feel so horrible for judging him so harshly. I guess I jumped to the wrong conclusion."

Oz shrugged. "You didn't know all the facts. The only people who know the real reason he's back in Sunnydale are me, him and now you."

"Buffy should know. After what I told her, she probably thinks he's a really bad person. I have to tell her."

"Angel said he's going to tell her tonight. Will, I think he really likes her. I mean *really* likes her."

"I hope I didn't ruin his chance at a friendship with her. Or anything else."

He put his arm around his girlfriend. "I'm sure you didn't. The way those two were talking and dance tonight, you did not seem to sway her opinion of him at all."

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to the dorms?" Buffy offered when they reached her front yard. "I don't want you to run into any trouble."

"Thanks, but I'll be fine. It's only ten minutes away from here. Besides, I think it's more appropriate for the guy to walk the girl home, even if she does have super powers," he replied with a wink and a smile.

"Always a gentleman, right?"

He shook his head in disagreement. "No, not always. Look, there's something I think you need to know about me."

Buffy gazed curiously at him. "What is it?"

Angel took her by the hand, leading her to the porch. They sat on the top step while he thought of the right words to say. "I want us to be friends, Buffy. And if we're going to do that, then I have to be honest with you about certain things. Regarding my past."

"Tell me. I'm not going to judge you." 'I wonder if he's going to confirm what Willow said. Or maybe he'll deny it.'

"I'm hoping that you won't judge me for the stupid things I've done." Angel paused before beginning. "When I was in high school, and through most of college, I had a rather bad reputation. So bad, in fact, that now, when I look back on it, I'm sickened by the things I've done and the people I've hurt in the process."

She tried to reassure him. "It couldn't have been that bad. Everybody makes mistakes, Angel."

"These weren't little mistakes. I knew exactly what I was doing. And I didn't care."

"You can tell me."

"Yeah, I feel like I can confide in you. For four years I did this. I – I'd date a girl, and sleep with her. And after it was all over, once I got what I wanted from her, I'd dump her. Buffy, I don't know what the male equivalent of a slut is, but I was it. Hundreds of girls I did that to, from the time I was fifteen until I was nineteen."

She nodded in understanding. Willow had been right, not that it really mattered to Buffy. Hearing it from Angel himself made it different somehow. "Oh. Is that what you still do? Because I'd like to know ahead of time what I might be getting myself into."

"No. I–Let's just say I saw the error of my ways."

"What happened? Did you catch something? Or get sick?" she asked, concerned.

"No, I'm perfectly healthy. Stuff happened at Notre Dame that I'm just not ready to talk about quite yet."

"Okay," she responded, not wanting to push him.

"I don't want you to think any less of me; I am not like that anymore."

Buffy gave him a smile. "I'll take your word for it. And I know what it's like to be judged by a reputation. I couldn't do that to someone else. You seem like a very nice guy; someone I'd like to know better."

"I swear to God, I haven't used a girl like that since…nine months maybe. The fact that I used hundreds of girls for sex isn't something I'm proud of. I look back at it in shame. And I'm not going to do it ever again. You needed to know that before you heard it from someone else."

She sighed. "I already knew, Angel."

Angel looked at her. "You did? People are still talking about me? I am never going to live this down."

"I didn't hear about it until today. It isn't still going around school, so don't worry. Willow told me at the Bronze."

"So you've known all along? And you're still here?" It was amazing to Angel that Buffy had stuck around after learning about his past.

"Don't look so surprised. She wanted to warn me about you. I told her that I don't care about that; I like you. Willow just wanted to make sure I knew about your reputation before I got in over my head."

Angel ran a hand through his dark hair. "She thinks I am going to use you. I'm not, I won't. All I want is to have someone to talk to, someone I can confide in. A friend."

"I'd like to be your friend."

"So would I. Would you mind if I call you sometime this week?" he asked hopefully. "To talk?"

"Sure. I don't have a pen and paper to write down my number, though."

"I can get it from Oz. Actually, I was wondering, do you have plans tomorrow night?"

Buffy shook her head. "Just patrol, nothing after that."

"There's a football game. UC Sunnydale versus UCLA. I'm the starting quarterback and it would mean a lot if you could come and cheer me on. Maybe we can grab something to eat after the game," he suggested. "Strictly as friends."

"I'd love to go. Thanks for inviting me."

He glanced at his watch. Almost ten-thirty. "I should really get back. Buffy, thank you. For saving my life earlier, for listening to me, and for not treating me like the social pariah everything in Sunnydale thinks I am."

Buffy watched him until he was out of sight. Her heart went out to her new friend. It sounded like he'd had a hard life. After three years of searching, she'd finally found someone who could understand her, and vice versa.

After he'd returned to his dorm room, Angel dialed Oz's house. He had promised to call with all the important details of his conversation with Buffy. His aunt picked up the phone on the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Aunt Beth," Angel said to Oz's mother.

She smiled at the sound of her nephew's voice. "Angel, it's so nice to hear from you. When did you get back?"

"Just the other day. How have you been?"

"Very well. The bookstore is keeping me quite busy, though. And yourself? Are you doing any better?"

"I'm a lot better than I was a few months ago. Definitely glad to be back in Sunnydale."

"You must come by sometime this week for dinner. I imagine the dorm food isn't very good. Or nutritious."

He laughed. "It's horrible. I find myself getting burgers and french fries a lot."

"That's not healthy. Angel, you are welcome to come here anytime you like for a home-cooked meal. After all, you are family," she offered.

"Thanks, Aunt Beth. Is Daniel home?"

"Hold on a minute."

While he waited for his cousin to get on the line, Angel kicked off his sneakers and sat back on the bed, leaning on his side. Oz's voice came through the phone a full minute later.

"Hey, Angel. What's going on?"

"Just calling like you told me to."

"So? Did you tell Buffy?" Oz wanted to know.

"Apparently, she already knew. Willow talked to her at the Bronze when they went to the bathroom. Told her all about my reputation in high school. I wasn't too happy when I found out. Made me feel like a complete fool in front of Buffy."

Oz sighed. "Sorry, man. Will said she told Buffy. But she didn't know everything. I hope you don't mind, I told her what happened to you at Notre Dame."

"Why did you do that?" he asked coarsely. "I asked you not to tell anyone about it."

"I had to. She didn't believe me when I said you changed; that you weren't the same guy you were back in high school. She needed proof."

"Wonderful," Angel said, sarcastically. "Even more people know what a jerk I am. What if she tells Buffy? I mean, when I told her what I was like back then, she didn't even blink an eye. But if your girlfriend blurts out what happened to me back there, that might be it. I could lose the life I'm trying to make for myself, as well as a budding friendship with someone who understands me. A kindred spirit."

In the privacy of his own bedroom, Oz raised his eyebrows. "I thought you told Buffy everything."

"I couldn't. She knows about the things I did in high school, my reputation, etc. But when she asked why I changed, I choked. Oz, I couldn't bring myself to say it aloud. I'm too ashamed. I didn't want to see the look of horror and disgust on her face when she heard the truth," Angel explained.

"You'll have to tell her eventually."

"And I'm going to. But I want her to know the real me first, so she can see how different I am from the guy I used to be. You know, it was only nine months ago. I was that sick, twisted bastard back in January. It seems like a lifetime ago."

"It was hell for you. Angel, you've done a complete one-eighty from the guy I grew up with. You really turned your life around," said Oz. "Don't do anything stupid that might jeopardize it all."

"You don't need to worry. I swear on my brother's grave, the next time I sleep with a girl, I'm going to wake up next to her. I won't use her like I've done before. It'll be about more than just sex. It'll be about love."

"You're going on a date with him?" exclaimed Xander. "I can't believe you. This guy is only after one thing."

Across the lunch table from him, Buffy sighed heavily. "It's not a date. I'm going to the football game and we're getting something to eat afterward. What makes you think I'm going to sleep with Angel? You should know me better than that."

"And everyone knows his reputation. Buffy, he's been with half the girls in Sunnydale. And I mean in the full Biblical sense."

"I know that. Angel told me all about what he did to girls. Can't I give him a chance?"

"Why?" he questioned. "So you can be like everyone else? Be used and abused and thrown out on the curb like every other girl Angel Osborne has ever gone out with? I thought you were smarter than that."

"He and I are friends. We only met last night. If I hadn't shown up when I did, he would have been a vampire's snack. I saved his life," Buffy said.

Xander laughed shortly. "Yeah, I bet he'd love to show you how grateful he is. He'll try to get you in bed, and when he does, you'll never hear from him again. You will wish you'd listened to me."

"He's not like that anymore. Angel won't use me. Why can't you trust me; trust him?"

"Because that guy's smooth. I bet he's using that 'I've changed' line on you so you'll feel sorry for him. And he'll prey on your sympathy and next thing you know, he's sending you a personalized dump-o-gram. 'Thanks for the sex, but once was enough for me.' Smarten up."

"I don't believe it," she commented. "You are jealous of my friendship with him. And you're afraid it'll turn into something more. That I'll end up falling for him."

He shook his head. "No."

"Yes. Look, you don't have to worry about a thing. I have absolutely no intentions of bedding him. I'm not even looking for a relationship right now. All of my boyfriends tend to end up dead or really close to it. The last thing I need is to be worrying about whether or not my boyfriend will live to see tomorrow. Angel and I are going out as friends. That's all we are, that's all we'll ever be. Got it?"

"Yeah. But if he tries anything, put me down for a big 'I told you so.'"

"Fine. But no offense, I have faith in him. I honestly believe that Angel was telling me the truth last night."

"Well, no offense to you, Buff, but I trust that guy about as far as I can throw him. You'll see."

On his way to the stadium that afternoon before the game, Angel ran into one of his teammates. The UCLA game wouldn't start for another two hours, but the team still had to go over their strategy and game plan.

"Hey, Osborne!" Patrick McClain called from the other side of the quad.

He turned to see the two hundred pound linebacker headed his way. "Hi, Patrick. You on your way to the stadium?"

"Yeah. I was just in the Student Union with Mark and Kevin, figuring out what we're going to do after the game. We're headed to the Bronze for a celebration party. Are you gonna come with us?"

"Thanks, but I've got plans already," Angel declined.

Patrick grinned devilishly. "Got a hot date?"

"Not really. I'm grabbing something to eat with a girl I met last night."

"Let me guess, she's really beautiful."

"Well, yeah. She's very pretty, smart and funny."

"You've been in town for a week and already you're back in the game? Angel, man, you are my idol. How the hell do you get these girls to fall for your act? Come on, let me in on your secret," begged Patrick. "Help those who are less fortunate."

Angel shook his head. "I'm not into that anymore, Pat. She's just a friend."

'Sure she is. 'Til she ends up in your bed. You'll get her in the sack by the third date."

"Go to hell," he spat.

"What crawled up your ass and died? God, abstinent for six months and you lose your sense of humor," Patrick commented.

"Nine months, actually. I don't like that you are insinuating that I'm only going out with Buffy for one reason. I'm not after sex this time around."

Patrick raised his eyebrows. "Buffy? As in Buffy Summers?"

Angel nodded. "Yes. Why? Got a problem with it?"

"Nothing, except the girl is psycho. She burnt down her old school in Los Angeles. She's not a girl you wanna mess with. And the police were after her for murder back in May," he informed his friend.

"And your point being?"

"My point is that you are asking for trouble with that one. Big trouble."

"I think I can handle myself. Though I do appreciate your concern. I'll keep it in the back of my mind."

Patrick shook his head. "I wish you luck, then."

"I doubt I'm going to need it. Oh, and by the way, you were wrong. She didn't burn down her entire school. Just the gymnasium," Angel corrected with a cocky smirk.

"Oh, just the gym. She's such a humanitarian. That makes it all better."

"Where are you going tonight? To the Bronze with Willow and Xander?" asked Mrs. Summers when Buffy came down the stairs dressed in jeans and a blue turtleneck.

"Nope. The UC Sunnydale football game."

"Why are you going there? You don't even like football."

"Angel asked me to go and I said yes," Buffy answered.

"Angel. He's Oz's cousin, right? The young man you met last night?"

Buffy nodded. "One in the same."

"And you're already going out on a date with him? To a crowded football stadium after dark? That doesn't sound very safe."

"God, why does everyone think it's a date? It's not. We got along really well last night. Actually, I saved him from a vamp last night and we hit it off right away. Angel's a nice guy, that's all. We're only friends."

"I still don't like it. College boys are different from other boys."

She shook her head. "Forget it. I'll be home later."

"If he tries anything, Buffy –"

"I'll knock him into the next millennium. Goodbye, Mom."

Buffy walked out the door. She wished her mother and her friends had more faith in her. 'Why do they think I'm going to let something happen between me and Angel? I'm not ready for that serious of a relationship and I totally trust that he's changed.'

It wasn't that she didn't find him attractive, because she certainly did. Angel was one of the handsomest men she'd ever met. He had all the qualities she had been looking for in a boyfriend: nice, funny, smart, strong and good-looking. His smile was so brilliant, just imagining it brought one to her own face. As nice as he was, though, she could never see herself in any kind of a relationship with him except one of friendship.

It didn't have anything to do with his colored and very flawed past; Buffy could look beyond that. In fact, it hardly mattered to her at all. But the last thing she wanted, or needed, in her life was a boyfriend. She'd only dated a few boys since learning of her calling two and a half years earlier. There was Owen Thurman in sophomore year, who liked danger a little too much for her liking; Tom Warner in junior year, who tried to sacrifice her to a demon; Cameron Walker in junior year, who ended up becoming a giant fish; and Scott Hope over the summer, who found Buffy too distracted with other things to really commit to a relationship. By the time that happened, she came to the conclusion that it simply wasn't in the cards for her to have a boyfriend.

It took her ten minutes to walk to the UC Sunnydale campus, and three more to reach the stadium. From outside the entrance gate, she could see that it was already crowded. 'Great,' she thought. 'Now I'm never going to find someplace to sit.' Paying the three dollars to get in, Buffy found that it wasn't as bad as the originally thought. She found a seat on the bleachers fairly close to the field and waited for the game to begin.

"Where are you headed, Angel?" Coach Parker asked when he saw his quarterback, dressed in full uniform, walking out the door.

Angel turned around. "I want to see if someone showed up."

"Girlfriend?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Just a friend."

One of the players laughed. "I bet she won't be your friend for too long."

"What the hell do you know about it?" Angel demanded. "Just stay out of my personal business."

"It's Psycho Summers, ain't it?" Patrick asked, adding to the snickers of the rest of the team.

Angel gritted his teeth. "Her name is Buffy. Not that it's any of your business, she's just a friend. I don't know what all of you think you know about me, but let me tell you something. I'm totally different from the rumors and reputation might have you believe. If you leave me alone, I'll do the same to you."

Nobody said anything in reply. His outburst took them all by surprise. "Five minuets, Osborne," the coach said to him.

"Fine."

Angel walked toward the spectator section, searching for Buffy. After a quick scan of the crowd, he spotted her at the end of the bleachers, sitting several feet away from everyone else. He trotted over with his helmet in his hand.

"You look thrilled to be here," he said as a greeting when he reached her.

Buffy glanced up from the magazine she'd been reading, seeing Angel standing on the other side of the chain-link fence. A smile spread across her face. "I am. Aren't you supposed to be going over the game plan or something like that?"

"Did that already. Besides, I'm the quarterback. All I have to do is throw the ball and not get the crap knocked out of me by UCLA's defensive line."

"Sounds like big fun, getting knocked around by a bunch of two hundred pound guys," Buffy commented. "Can't say I want to trade places with you. I'll just watch, thank you very much."

"I love it. If I could, I'd do this for the rest of my life."

She nodded. "It's nice to have a goal in life."

"It is. I gotta get going, the game is starting and Coach Parker only gave me a couple of minutes. Do you still want to get something to eat afterward?"

"Yep. Where should I meet you?" she wanted to know.

"Well, I have to shower and change after the game. How about outside the locker room? I promise not to take too long."

"Okay. See you after the game. Good luck," Buffy said to him.

He smiled. "Thanks. I'm going to need it." He started to walk back to the locker room.

"Hey, Angel?" she called.

"Yeah?"

Giggling, she winked at him. "You look so cute in that blue uniform. Especially those pants."

Angel shook his head in amusement. "Real funny, Buffy."

Buffy found the game thrilling and exciting. Football never interested her before, but after watching the game, she had a whole new perspective on it. UC Sunnydale won by only seven points, thanks to a Hail Mary pass thrown by Angel in the final thirty seconds of the game. Buffy had never cheered so hard in her life.

The entire offensive line carried him off the field on their shoulders. While the crowd cheered over their victory, Angel glazed his eyes over the cheering fans for Buffy as he was being carried across the length of the field. Upon finding her, he smiled broadly and waved.

Slowly, the crowd began to dissipate and Buffy made her way to the Men's Locker Room. She leaned against the wall opposite the entrance, waiting patiently for Angel to come out.

Five minutes after getting there, two of the defensive linemen stepped out. Buffy raised her eyes when she heard them mention Angel's name. She couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation, wanting to find out what they were saying about him.

"He played an awesome game. That pass Angel threw is the only reason we won."

The other football player shook his head. "Pure luck. Bet he couldn't throw that pass again to save his life."

"You don't like him, do you?"

"Truthfully, I can't stand him. Osborne's got a big-time ego, thinks he's God. So damned arrogant all the time."

"Angel's not so bad once you get to know him. He used to be a lot worse."

"I've heard. What the hell do all those girls see in him? He's nothing special. Just another guy like the rest of us."

"Supposedly, he's got a great pickup line. But he doesn't do that anymore. He's changed," one of the two said with a sarcastic laugh.

"Changed' my ass. I'd bet good money that his date tonight ends up in bed with him by this weekend."

Buffy was in such a state of shock over that comment that she never heard or saw Angel approach. "Buffy, you ready?"

She looked up. "Oh. Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh. Let's go eat. I'm starved."

Buffy and Angel sat across from one another in the booth at the pizza parlor. "How did you like the game?" Angel asked after they placed their order for a large pepperoni pizza.

"It was fun. I'm not really into football, but I enjoyed myself. Definitely had a great time, though. Thanks for inviting me."

"Thank you for coming. It means a lot to have someone in the stands cheering for me. It doesn't happen very often."

"Doesn't your family ever come to your games?" Buffy wanted to know.

Angel shook his head. "No. When I played for Sunnydale High, my parents never came to the games. Mom always had something else to do and Dad…well, he never really cared about it. Considered it a waste of his time, my time and my potential."

"That wasn't very nice of him. Your father should have been supportive of you if it was something you really loved."

"Tell that to him," he said softly. "I'm not exactly Daddy's pride and joy. That was Brandon. Don't get me wrong, I am hardly jealous or bitter about it; frankly, I don't care anymore. Dad wanted a son on the debate team or the National Honor Society, not the football team. I just wasn't what he wanted."

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "Most fathers would be proud to have a son like you. It must have been rough for you growing up."

He shrugged. "I resented him, I guess I still do. But I let my aggressions out on the football field."

"It shows. You're great out there," complimented Buffy. "You have amazing accuracy and a strong arm."

"I do my best. I just had a good game, that's all."

She disagreed. "You are too modest, Angel. I saw that last play out there. It was utterly amazing. You threw that ball sixty yards."

"Like I said, I had a good game."

"One of these days, a big-time football scout is going to show up at one of your games and draft you for a famous team. Like the Giants or the Cowboys or the Dolphins."

He laughed. "Knowing my luck, it'll end up being for the Bills."

"You'll get to see snow."

"Highly overrated, believe me. I lived through two cold winters back in Indiana. Trust me, I never want to see snow ever again."

Their pizza arrived five minutes later, and the two dug in. They remained silent while they ate, though the restaurant began filling up with teenagers. The Sunnydale High Varsity football team had just won their game and many of the students came in for something to eat.

A tall brunette, the head cheerleader, made her way over to where Buffy and Angel were sitting. "Angel? Is it really you?"

Glancing up from his pepperoni pizza, he looked at the girl curiously. "Yeah…" he said slowly, not recognizing her. "Do I know you?"

Buffy knew exactly who the girl was. Cordelia Chase, the most stuck-up, man-eating snob in the entire school. The two struck up a friendship when Buffy first moved to Sunnydale, but it ended quickly when she began hanging out with Xander and Willow. And it grew to even worse proportions when Owen Thurman showed more of an interest in dating Buffy than he did Cordelia.

She laughed. "Cordelia Chase. Don't you remember me?"

"I think."

Cordelia sighed. "I was a J.V. cheerleader my freshman year. You were a senior then. You smiled at me after the Homecoming game and then danced with me that night. Now do you remember?"

Angel still didn't have a clue. In those days, he smiled at every pretty girl and danced with just as many. Very few stuck out in his head as being memorable. "Yeah, I remember now," he lied. "Cordelia. You're a senior already?"

"Finally," she answered with a flirtatious smile.

"You must know Buffy, then."

She barely looked at Buffy. "Unfortunately," mumbled Cordelia. "Well, I only came over to say hi, so I'll leave you alone. Give me a call sometime, Angel. We'll get together and have some fun. I'm in the book."

"You bet."

After Cordelia walked away, Buffy gazed at her friend. "You didn't know who she was, did you?" she asked with a giggle.

Angel shook his head. "Not a clue."

"Consider yourself lucky. Cordelia is the shallowest, bitchiest girl in all of Sunnydale. She thinks the world revolves around her."

"Oh."

"Gonna call her?"

"Not as long as I'm still breathing. I think she'd bore me to death after five minutes. She's not my type. At least, not anymore," he said.

They left the pizza place at nine, standing in the parking lot for a few minutes, enjoying the peace and quiet. The restaurant was too crowded to stay and talk, so they left after eating.

"Do you want to go home now?" Angel asked. "It's only nine."

She shrugged. "I don't know. It's still early yet. But there's nothing to do around Sunnydale. This place is really boring."

"I know. If you wanted to, we could go back to my dorm room and watch a movie or something," he suggested.

Buffy sort of had her reservations about going to his room. She didn't know him all that well and it might seem strange for her to go into an older man's room, especially one with his reputation with women. But she pushed them all to the back of her mind. "Sure," she replied after a brief, but noticeable pause.

"No, you're not sure, I can tell. You think I might try something. I promise you, I won't. Buffy, I'm very well-aware that you could kick my ass without breaking a sweat if I were to do something you didn't like. And I don't want to lose your friendship over something like that."

"I know. I have complete faith in you." It was the truth.

The two of them walked to his dorm room, only five minutes away from the restaurant. Buffy was shocked to see so many students milling around in the darkness. 'It's not safe for them to be out this late. It's like an all-you-can-eat snack bar for a vampire. I think I'd better make the campus part of my daily patrol.'

"What about your roommate? Is he going to care that I'm here?" she wanted to know when they reached his dorm room.

"I have a single room. No roommate."

Buffy was impressed. "Wow, you are really lucky. How'd you manage to swing that one?"

"I have no idea," he said with a shrug. "The university was probably so glad I was going to play for them instead of returning to Notre Dame that they hooked me up. I've even got my own bathroom. It's great."

They stepped inside, and Buffy glanced around. Angel's room was very cozy. A single bed, a dresser, bookshelf, desk, mini-refrigerator, computer and a television. A door off to the left led to the private bathroom.

"I like it," she complimented.

"Thanks. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"If you want. Honestly, I wouldn't mind just sitting and talking. There's a lot we don't know about each other."

Angel agreed with her on that. "You're right, there is. It's hard to believe we only just met last night. What would you like to know?"

She sat down on his bed, and he followed in suit. "There's one question weighing on my mind; it's been bugging me since last night. I know about your reputation, but I don't know why. That's what I'd like to know. Why you did all that stuff."

Angel sat back against the wall. "I don't think there is a reason behind doing something like that. I could blame it on my father and say it's his fault for never believing I was good enough. Acceptance. But that's only a cop-out. The only thing I can think of to defend myself is by saying that it's all I know how to do."

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath. "Every sexual experience I've ever had has been a one-time deal."

"Even your first time?" she asked.

"Yeah. That's where it all started. The only thing that was different were the circumstances. Instead of me being the user, I was the one being used."

"Oh god, that's horrible. What happened?"

"I was fifteen and back-up quarterback for the Varsity team. She was a senior, popular and a cheerleader. The first-string quarterback got injured and I had to take his place in the game. We won that night and there was a celebration part at her house. Jessica – that was her name – invited me up to her bedroom for what she called a 'special celebration' just for the two of us.

"I don't want to go into all the details because you can pretty much fill in the missing pieces. We had sex. That's all it was; there was no feeling or emotion behind it. When it was all over, Jessica got out of bed, got dressed again and thanked me. I didn't understand what I'd done wrong, but she said I didn't do anything wrong. She said she'd call me, but she never did. And that was where it all started."

She shook her head. "That's so unreal."

"It was very real. And for a long time, that's what I thought sex meant. One night only. No strings attached."

"Does it still hurt that she treated you like that?" she asked out of her own morbid curiosity.

"Sometimes. I thought it was me for the longest time, but now I see that it wasn't. I've grown a lot since I was a freshman in high school. All I want is to find someone I can love, someone I can make love to, not just have sex with. But right now, I'm focused on getting my life back in order. Working on a new life. Everything else, including finding the right girl, is unimportant."

"Well, I've been chewing your ear off for the past forty-five minutes about all my problems," Angel said. "You're probably ready to fall asleep from boredom any minute now."

Smiling, she shook her head. "Hardly. Your life is a hell of a lot more interesting than mine. I mean, you've had all these different experiences I've never had."

Angel looked down. "Not all of those experiences were good, Buffy. I've been the cause of a lot of heartache. More than I'd like to admit."

"Was it all bad?"

"Some of it was, yes. But at that time, I didn't realize it."

"I don't want to push, but if you want to tell me about it, I'd really like to hear it." 'What could he have done that was so bad?' she wondered.

He shook his head. "I – I can't. Buffy, something happened to me in Indiana, and it's really hard for me to talk about. Just thinking about it makes me sick, honestly. And I do want to tell you, but I'm afraid of what you'll think of me when I do."

"What happened, is it the reason you've changed?"

"Yes. It's the main reason I came back here. I needed to be around my family and my friends, around people who cared."

Buffy looked at him curiously. "You did get sick, didn't you? Angel, you can tell me. If that's what happened, maybe I can help you through it."

"I appreciate it, but that's not what happened. I told you yesterday, I'm not sick. Not that it makes me feel any better; sometimes I think I'd be better off. But I don't have any kind of disease. I've been tested for everything."

"That's good. But what happened? Did you get a girl pregnant?" She knew she was pushing him, but Buffy wanted him to get it out. It was dangerous to let things build up inside. It would eat away until there was nothing left inside of him.

"Buffy, please. I can't talk about it now. Maybe if I were emotionally stronger I could, but I'm not. And I want to tell you, I really do. I don't want to keep any secrets from you. Do you think we could talk about something else?" Angel asked her.

"Of course. What do you want to talk about?"

He shrugged. "Anything that's not me. I'd like to know more about you. What your life has been like, what it's like to be the Slayer. Just anything about you."

"Where do I start? My birthday is January 19, 1981. I'll be eighteen this coming year. I lived in Los Angeles until March of '97 when my parents divorced, then my mom and I moved here. Believe it or not, back at Hemery, I was a cheerleader, Homecoming Queen and Fiesta Queen. I was probably one of the most popular girls on campus. Until I was called, that is. Then my whole life changed."

"Called?" Angel asked. "What's that?"

"I haven't been the Slayer my entire life. At the beginning of my sophomore year, my first Watcher found me and told me who I was. The Chosen One; the only girl in her generation who has the ability to fight vampires. So he trained me, showed me how to use my power. Merrick was a great Watcher."

"Was? He isn't your Watcher anymore?" Angel wanted to know.

Buffy shook her head. "No. He was killed by a vampire a few days before I got expelled."

"You were expelled? And here I thought you just burnt down the gym."

"Well, that was the reason I got kicked out of Hemery. A gang of vamps burst in during a school dance and tried to start a feeding frenzy. I couldn't kill them all, so I got all the students out and burnt the gym to the ground. Not my most shining moment, but it was a 'kill or be killed' situation."

"You saved a lot of lives, you should have been commended, not condemned."

"It's too late now. Besides, I don't like to dwell on the past. It's rather depressing. Kind of like my love life."

Angel smiled. "You didn't leave the love of your life back in Los Angeles when you left?"

She laughed shortly. "Hardly. The only important thing I left behind when I moved to Sunnydale was my father. But there was someone. Two someones, actually. When I was first called, I had been seeing this guy named Tyler. Nice-looking, athletic, and a big player in the crowd I was a part of. It was nothing serious, we just went out to eat or we'd go to the movies. But after I became the Slayer, I had to focus all my attention on that rather than on him. And when I started acting strangely, he dumped me. For my best friend of all people.

"The other guy, Pike, he was more of a friend than anything else. His best friend got vamped and he ended up helping me fight them. He was a great guy and I miss him dearly. He helped me take out the vamps at school; Pike is the only person who understood how hellish my life was back then. But when we moved, Mom refused to let me have any contact with him. She blamed him for my destructive behavior and thought of him as a bad influence. I don't even know where he is or what he's doing."

"Sounds like your romantic history is as exciting as mine," Angel commented.

"Probably. There's been a couple guys in Sunnydale, but nothing really serious. Ever since this past May when I was wanted for murder, the boys have shied away from me. I wonder why."

"That's their loss." He had to pose the next question carefully. "What happened last May? Why were you wanted for murder?"

"I was found kneeling next to a dead body. A friend of mine named Kendra. She was my sister Slayer and she had her throat slit by a vampire in the school library. The police thought I did it, but then a recently arrested felon admitted to doing it so he could get leniency for his other crimes."

Angel was confused about who Kendra was. "Wait a second, I was under the impression that there's only one Slayer. At least, that's what Oz told me. Who's Kendra?"

"It was an accident, really. End of sophomore year, I died. Drowned and drained by a vampire known as the Master. My friend Xander found me and revived me. But because I had died, even if only for a couple minutes, a new Slayer was called. When one Slayer dies, another is activated," explained Buffy.

"Okay, I get it now."

"So, most of the guys in town think I'm homicidal, even though I was never found guilty."

"I don't think you are homicidal."

She grinned. "Then you're in the minority. A few days ago, I was in total self-pity mode. Like: 'Here I am, in my senior year of high school, no date for Homecoming this year and, in fact, I haven't had a date since the end of June.' Yep, I've scared them all away. And the worst part of it is that I don't even care."

"You don't have a date for Homecoming?"

"Nope. For the first time in three years. But it's okay. I'm cool with going stag."

He came up with an idea. "When is it?"

"Next Saturday."

"How would you like me to be your date? That way you wouldn't be breaking any kind of tradition," Angel offered.

Buffy looked at him as if he'd just admitted to her that he was an alien from another planet. Angel wanted to go to Homecoming with her? It was unreal. "You're kidding, right?"

"Perfectly, one hundred percent serious. What do you say? Will you let me escort you?"

"You don't have to do this, Angel. Really. I don't mind going alone and I don't need a pity date."

"I'm not doing this out of pity. I'd really like to take you. I think we'd have a great time together. Besides, I've got a suit at home hanging in my closet that's just dying to be worn again."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "I don't know what to say."

"How about yes? You might bruise my fragile ego if you say no."

She smirked. "I get the feeling that your ego is hardly fragile or easily bruised. But I'll go with you. I just hope you know what you are getting yourself into."

"Hmm…a date with a pretty girl, a chance to get dressed up and being able to see all my old teachers again. Sounds like a good time to me."

"Fine, but I warned you." Glancing at her watch, she noted the lateness of the time. "It's getting late and I should start heading home before Mom has a stroke. Thanks for everything. The game, dinner and listening to me complain," Buffy said to him.

Angel followed her to the door. "Would you like me to walk you home?"

"It's safer for you to stay in. I know how to handle myself out there. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"It isn't very gentlemanly of me to let you walk home alone. A real man walks a girl home after they've gone out."

She shook her head. "No, Angel. It's not safe for you and you don't know how to protect yourself from vampires and demons."

"Then teach me. I don't want to cower in my room after sunset like a scared little boy. I want to be able to kill them," he said. "Like you."

"You want me to show you how to kill vampires?"

"Yes. I'm pretty strong. Maybe not as strong as you, but I can hold my own in a fight. All you have to do is show me where exactly to put the stake."

"You really want to do this? All right. Let's see, tomorrow's Saturday. I usually train with Giles from twelve until two, so how about tomorrow at three?"

"Works for me. I can arrange to get the whole gym to ourselves."

"Do you guys have a wrestling room here? With mats? That'll work better, in case you or I get hurt," Buffy suggested.

"No problem, I'll talk to Coach Parker. See you tomorrow, then."

"Tomorrow it is."

Something was plaguing his Slayer's thoughts, Giles could tell. She wasn't concentrating as she usually did and it showed in her training. Buffy was making careless mistakes that could cost her her life if she had been fighting a foe instead of him.

"Buffy, stop," her Watcher ordered.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" she wanted to know.

"I believe so, yes. You're being very careless today. You're missing punches and jabs that you could easily throw and block and you are not using your full potential today. Something is obviously distracting you, and it's taking you off your game. Care to share with me what it is?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nothing's distracting me, Giles. I'm just having an off day. It happens to everyone."

"Is it something to do with your mother? Is she giving you a hard time?"

"No, it's not Mom."

"Well, something's bothering you, I can tell. If you tell me, perhaps it'll make things better," offered Giles.

"I've just been thinking."

"About what, may I ask?"

"Just a guy I met the other night. I saved him from a vampire and he's been on my mind ever since. We went out last night and he asked me to Homecoming."

Giles raised his eyebrows. "Well, that's good, isn't it? This young man is interested in you quite obviously."

"It's not like that. Neither Angel nor I want a relationship right now; we're just friends, which is great. But what's weighing on my mind is something he asked me last night aside from the Homecoming thing."

"What would that be?"

"He asked me to train him, to show him how to defend himself against vampires. And I'm supposed to do that later today. What's bothering me is that I don't know what to do, where to start. I don't think I'll be a very good teacher."

"You'll do great, Buffy," Giles disagreed. "You did wonders with Xander and Willow. They were barely able to fight off a regular human before you came along, and look at them now. They're stronger than they were before and capable of defeating vampires and weaker demons. I have every confidence that you will do an excellent job with this Angel fellow."

Buffy smiled. "I wish I had your confidence."

At three o'clock, Buffy walked into the wrestling room in UC Sunnydale's Alumni Gymnasium. She found it quite impressive, wall to wall mats on the floor as well as on the walls. Off in the farthest corner from the entrance was a weight set, a rowing machine, a set of rings and a punching bag.

Angel had been there for twenty minutes already, working up a sweat on some of the machinery there. When Buffy arrived, he was too busy working out some of his frustrations on the punching bag to see her come in.

She watched him for a minute. Perspiration seeped through his white t-shirt, making it cling to his back. He also wore a pair of black wind pants and sneakers. Buffy noticed the music Angel chose to work out to; definitely not what she would have expected him to choose. 'Who knew he listened to Billy Joel? I would have pictured him as a Pearl Jam or Green Day person. Oh well. You learn something new everyday.'

Deciding to announce her presence, Buffy said, "Piano Man.' Now that's music to work out to."

Angel immediately turned around, stunned by the sound of her voice. He smiled when he saw Buffy. "Hey, I didn't hear you come in."

"Apparently not. Do you always work out to the music of Billy Joel?" she teased.

He reached over, turning the CD Player off. "Not always. Depends on my mood. Today it's Billy Joel. Had you come here yesterday, you'd have heard The Beatles and Barry Manilow."

She laughed. "The Beatles I understand. But Manilow? That I don't get."

"My mom used to sing it all the time when I was younger. I remember she would walk around the house singing 'Mandy' or 'Copacabana.' Brandon and I always laughed at her, but it stuck. The man can sing and those songs are so pretty. Well, 'Mandy' is anyway."

"All right, whatever. I'll have to take your word for it. Sorry, I just can't picture you listening to Barry Manilow."

"Looks can be deceiving."

She wholeheartedly agreed. "You don't have to tell me that. Are you ready for your crash course in vampire slaying?"

"Yep. I'm ready, willing and able. The gym is ours for the next two hours. That's enough time, isn't it?" he asked.

"Oh yeah. I mean, you don't really need to know everything. I was only planning to show you the basics of what you need to know."

Carrying her weapons bag to the center of the room, Buffy placed it on the mat and pulled out a wooden stake. Angel stood a foot away from her, pulling off his sweaty t-shirt, throwing it to the floor where his gym bag sat. Her breath caught for a second at the sight of his bare chest. His well-defined muscles, slick with sweat, glistened in the light. Pulling herself out of her reverie, Buffy began the lesson.

"There's four major ways to kill a vampire. Sunlight, fire, decapitation and staking. All I'm going to show you is staking. Frankly, unless you're in some all out life or death battle with a vamp, all you need to know is how to stake 'em. If you're cornered by one in a dark alley, sunlight is not going to help you whatsoever. You can pretty much rule out fire right away and unless you plan on walking the streets of Sunnydale with a sword in your hand, the chances of decapitation are slim to none.

"That only leaves staking. It's simple, really. Grip the stake in your hand and shove it through the vampire's heart. The vamp will explode into dust and then it's all gone. It's not always easy, you often have to weaken your opponent, but it's practical. No fuss, no muss," Buffy explained. She handed him the stake. "This is for you."

"Thanks. Now bear with me, I want to make sure I get this right. I stick this thing into it's heart and it turns to dust?"

She nodded. "That's pretty much it."

"Okay. I have one problem, though. I suck at anatomy, and I barely passed Biology. Which side is the heart on?"

"The left side." She took his left hand in hers, placing it over her left breast so he could feel her heart beat through her black tank top. "Feel it?"

Angel felt all his blood rush to his face when Buffy put his hand on her. Nothing sexual had been intended on her part – it was a completely innocent act – but he couldn't stop himself from blushing, or from feeling something. The temptation of her body was almost too great, and he had to fight it. He was so close, he could practically cup her breast in his hand, but instead, Angel removed it. He felt as if he were fighting a never-ending, losing battle against his sexual urges. 'Remove the temptation,' he reminded himself. 'I don't want to lose her trust in me.'

"I got it," he told her, looking away, embarrassed.

"Don't worry, I missed the first few times. But after a while, it's like second nature." She took the stake out of his hand and held the sharp end against his heart. "It goes right here."

"Okay."

"Wanna do some practicing? We can role play," Buffy suggested.

Angel was taken aback for a moment. "Excuse me? Role playing?" 'Dammit, get your mind out of the gutter.'

"Uh-huh. I'll pretend to be a vampire and you have to fight me off. If you get that stake to my heart, you win. I'll try not to hurt you."

"Don't worry about me. Give it all you got."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "You asked for it," she warned.

Circling around him, she was like a wild animal stalking its prey. Buffy came up behind Angel, surprising him by wrapping her right arm tightly around his neck, forcing his head to the right, baring his neck to her bite. With her left hand on his upper arm, Buffy reached up, pretending to go in for the kill.

Angel brought his free arm back, grabbing her by the back of the neck and forcing her grip from him. He held her by the throat, pushing Buffy away from him with all his might. She stumbled backward, but regained her balance and ran at him. Kicking his legs out from under him, Buffy smirked when he fell to the mat on his back. Ready to claim her victory over him, she got down on her knees, straddling him about the waist, pinning his arms to the mat. "I win."

Angel lifted his knee, hitting her in the thigh. Her leg gave out and he took the opportunity to flip them over so that he was on top. Placing the stake to her chest with one hand and holding her arms above her head with the other, he grinned. "Looks like I win."

She looked up at him, seeing something strange in his eyes. Power or dominance, she wasn't sure which. "Good job," she complimented. "Think you can let me up now?"

"Sure. Sorry." He climbed off Buffy, letting her sit up once again. The position they had been in took him back in time to situations he'd rather forget. Angel was glad to be a few feet away from her. It gave him breathing room to compose himself without any kind of embarrassment on either of their parts.

"You're really getting the hang of it," she said to him. "You'll be staking real vampires in no time flat."

"I'm hoping I'll never have to," he admitted.

"In Sunnydale, you never know. Do you want to train some more? Work on some more moves?"

He shook his head, afraid he'd find himself in another situation he'd be unable to control. "I think I'll be okay. Thanks for the offer, though."

"No problem."

"Are you doing anything tonight? Do you want to catch a movie or something?" Angel asked her.

Buffy bit her lip. "I can't. After dinner, I'm supposed to go look for a Homecoming dress with Willow. And then I'm spending the night at her house. Girls night out."

"Oh, okay," Angel replied, trying not to show his disappointment. He didn't want to spend another Saturday night by himself. "Maybe some other time."

"Definitely," she promised.

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