He took off his glasses and wiped the lenses with a handkerchief. He was torn; on one hand, keeping this information from Buffy would keep her with him. The past few weeks of his life had been the best; despite the fact that they could be exact opposites when it came to certain things, they enjoyed living with each other. He loved being with her, and it wasn't just for the sex. He loved her.

Which made him feel as though he had to tell her.

He sighed and tried to weigh out the reasons for and against showing her his discovery. When she walked into the apartment they now both lived in after her patrol, he knew the answer. Seeing that face, so full of trust, he couldn't lie to her. As much as he feared it, he had to tell her.

"Hey Giles, what's up?"

"Buffy." He replied, smiling wanly. "Could you come sit with me? I have something to tell you."

Concerned, she moved to the spot next to him on the couch, and placed her hand on his thigh. Giles closed his eyes and bit his lip, trying to restrain himself from pulling her into his lap and kissing her until he forgot all about the spell.

But he couldn't do that. He had to tell her; otherwise the guilt would eat away at him, and destroy whatever relationship they might have.

"I found this spell." He told her, gesturing to the open pages of the book.

She glanced at it, but didn't pay it much attention, since it was in Latin. "What does it do?"

"It makes a soul permanent."

All the color drained from Buffy's face, her hand remained on his thigh, but Giles suspected it was because she was frozen in shock.

"Wha-what do we do?" She asked him, her eyes imploring him to make the situation magically simpler.

Giles took a deep breath and told her. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Buffy, but I do feel we're obligated to, at the very least, let Angel know that there is a way."

Buffy nodded slowly. "And then what?"

"And then... You two will probably have some talking to do. And I want you to know that I will always be here for you, in any way that you want me. I do understand that you love Angel, I accept that. Whatever decision you make, I will always love you and support you."

Buffy smiled sadly and hugged him tightly. "Thank you Giles!"

Giles lay in the dark of his bedroom, gazing at the blonde beauty whose head lay on his chest. He could feel her smiling, and Giles took relief in that. He hated seeing her suffer.

The two of them had lain together in front of the fireplace, as they often did. After a long talk, they'd decided they would leave for LA the next day so that Buffy could talk to Angel.

He hadn't planned on making any romantic gestures towards her, so that her judgement would be clear, but she had started kissing him. Buffy knew that when it came to Giles, whatever she wanted, she got. Their lovemaking had been passion-filled; he was so needy for her that the pleasure of every touch was heightened.

After they had both climaxed, Buffy had whispered that she loved him before drifting off to sleep.

Did she? Giles believed that she believed that she loved him, but did she really? He supposed that she must; she did know what love was better than most people. But he also knew she loved Angel. He'd never believed it before, but he then realized that it was possible to love two people.

Buffy loved both males, although she most likely loved Angel more. Giles knew it was probable that she'd end up leaving him for her first love; he'd have to deal with it. But he loved her so much.

He shook his head, why would she choose him over Angel?

Buffy took a deep breath, then knocked on the door.

She'd called Cordelia at her new job as a receptionist at a detective agency that morning as soon as she and Giles had checked into their hotel. The two girls had gone for lunch together; Buffy couldn't help but marvel at the changes in her one time enemy. As hard as it must have been for her, losing her fortune had made Cordelia a better person.

The brunette had given her Angel's address, along with a hug, after hearing why Buffy needed to speak with the vampire.

So Buffy stood at the door to his new apartment, half an hour before sunset, ready to give him the news.

"Buffy." He said quietly, surprised to see the blonde standing before him.

"Hey." She answered, smiling nervously.

He moved to the side, allowing her to enter his apartment. She glanced around, noting that while it was small, it had a lot of space to move around in, with a few paintings on the wall and only the essential furniture.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

She turned and looked at him, biting her lip nervously. "I have something to show you. It's really important, that's why Cordelia told me where you live. Can we… sit down?"

Angel nodded and led her to a small couch. They sat down, with a space between them. Buffy turned as much as she could to face him.

"Giles, he, uh, he found a spell. We can make your soul permanent."

Angel's eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

Buffy nodded. "Even if you don't want to… be with me, I still want you to do this."

Angel gently touched the side of her face. "Of course I want to be with you, I just think you could do better."

The guilt overwhelmed Buffy as she closed her eyes. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and Angel's brow furrowed in concern.

"What's wrong Buffy?"

Buffy looked down, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You're going to hate me."

"I could never hate you." He replied, shaking his head fervently.

Buffy opened her mouth to tell him, but couldn't find her voice.

Angel clasped her hand in his own. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'll understand."

"I've been sleeping with Giles." She blurted out, before she could get scared and change her mind.

Angel was taken aback, but didn't release her hand. Buffy sat still, staring at him as she waited for his reaction.

"Do you love him?"

Buffy bit her lip and thought about the question. "Yes, I do love Giles. But it's not anything like the love I have for you."

Angel nodded slowly and stared at the wall, apparently deep in thought.

After a few more moments of silence, Buffy asked "So, do you hate me?"

Angel looked over at her and shook his head. "I could never hate you." He repeated. "I wanted you to be with a normal guy… and you did."

"We have an… unusual… relationship. It's not dating and romance, but it's not just about having sex; we… comfort each other."

"At least this guy's a lot closer to your age." Angel replied, making a feeble attempt at a joke.

Buffy smiled weakly, her hopes dashed. Angel probably really didn't want her anymore; he was either sick of her, or maybe disgusted by her.

"Giles is at our hotel, we're supposed to go back there so he can perform the spell."

Angel nodded. "Why didn't he come with you?"

"He wanted us to have time alone. He… he told me that he'll understand if I want to be with you now." She told him, looking down. "I tried to tell him you don't want me anymore and that's the problem, but you know Giles. He can't believe that he's ever wrong."

Angel moved back over to her, lifting her chin to force her to look into his eyes. "I could never not want you Buffy! I just don't want to force you to feel obligated to be with me, when you could have the normal life with Giles."

Buffy raised an eyebrow; "Giles is old enough to be my dad. Now, that doesn't bug him, or me but it will bug a lot of other people. We can't be normal."

"But he can give you children, he can go into the sun with you."

"That's not all there is to do, you know."

Angel sighed, "Why don't we just go back to your hotel, maybe the three of us can discuss things?"

The End

<< back