"Realizations"
Author: Pamela
Contact: destructo-girl@cox.net
Notes: This is the second story in a trilogy. The first one is "Under
the Influence" and the last is "Troubled
by the Way We Came Together."
Giles, Amy, Willow and Xander stood nervously outside Buffy's bedroom. They had finished the ritual mere seconds earlier. Worried thoughts rushed through their minds. What if Buffy and Spike tried to kill each other? How were they going to act when they were back to normal? What if they... acted the same?
Buffy lay with her head on Spike's chest, stroking the tips of her finger in soft circles on his chest as he ran his hand up and down her back. She'd never felt so content. She was just drifting off to sleep when she felt a cold rush in her stomach.
Spike wrinkled his forehead as he felt the same cold. He clenched his eyes shut and saw stars rush towards him.
A few moments later, Buffy and Spike's eyes flickered open. The felt disoriented couldn't remember where they were or whom they were with. Buffy lifted her head and met Spike's gaze.
The two stared at each other for a moment, comprehending that they were in bed. Together.
Buffy gasped and sat up, clutching the sheets to her chest. She moved to the other side of the bed and looked away from Spike, not daring to look at him again. Spike stayed on his own side, his mouth gaping, not understanding what had come over him.
What had come over him? Sure, he'd checked the slayer out before, he was male and the way she dressed sometimes made it impossible for him not to. But he had never ever dreamed that the two of them would ever……
Buffy felt just as confused. Why did they do… what they just did? She didn't know what came over her. What had come over Spike? He'd never shown any feelings toward her besides dislike.
"What did you do to me?" they both asked each other, accusingly.
"Me? Why would I do anything to you? You put a spell on me!" Buffy accused.
"Oh, why the bloody hell would I do that Slayer? You're my enemy! It's disgusting enough that I have to help you, why would I use witchcraft to get you in bed?"
"I don't know! You make some really bad decisions." Buffy argued, wrapping the sheet around her body as she got out of the bed. "That hair color, for instance."
Spike shot her a dirty look, wrapping the comforter around his waist and standing on the other side of the bed. "If I wanted you, I wouldn't have to resort to witchcraft to get you!"
"Oh, get over yourself!" Buffy replied.
"You know… perhaps you used some mojo on me…" Spike told her, with a smirk.
"Ewww! I don't *think* so!"
"Willow, you go in." Giles ordered as they heard the vampire and the slayer bickering.
"Me?!" The redhead gasped. "Why me?"
"Because Buffy could be... indecent… and I do *not* want to see her indecent!" Giles argued.
"I do!" Xander volunteered cheerfully, moving towards Buffy's bedroom door. Giles gave him a look and the teen stopped and frowned.
Amy sighed loudly and pushed her way to the door. "I'll do it." She poked her head in and then opened it more. "They're decent."
Buffy's jaw dropped as she saw Amy, Willow, Giles, and Xander walk in her bedroom door.
"*What* is going on?" She asked them.
Giles insisted that Buffy and Spike get dressed- separately- because he couldn't look Buffy in the eye while she wore only a sheet, even though it was more than she wore a lot of the time.
After everyone was properly covered, they congregated in Buffy's living room. Buffy made sure to sit as far from Spike as possible, avoiding looking anywhere near his direction.
Giles explained to them that Willow and Amy had performed a spell to make them get along and it had gone wrong. Willow apologized profusely, looking like she was near tears.
Buffy found that even though she hated the idea of her friend crying she was so upset that she couldn't summon up and sympathy. Thanks to Willow, look what had happened. Her body had been violated! It wasn't that much different than rape, really. Her body had been made to endure things against her will. Sure she had enjoyed it that still didn't make things any better. She had hated it.... hadn't she?
Buffy sighed as she felt the warm water in the bathtub caress her skin. Her limbs were sore from the extensive recent activity. All she wanted to do was soak for a while before getting into her warm bed and sleeping for about a week.
As soon as everyone had left, Buffy had stripped the bed and opened the windows in her bedroom, trying to air the room out as much as possible.
She was so confused. She tried to be furious about the way her friend had screwed up and caused her to be so violated, but she couldn't help getting that low down tickle when she thought about the past night and day with Spike. She kept telling herself that it was the spell making her feel that way, that she wanted Spike just because the spell made her want him, but could the spell be making her want him still?
A few moments later, she got out of the tub and dried herself off, trying to block all thoughts of Spike out of her mind she pulled on a nightgown and some underwear and slipped into bed.
Just as she was about to drift into a dream world, the phone rang. Groaning, she picked it up. "Hello?"
"Buffy?" Willow replied.
"Hey Will."
"Listen, I just wanted to apologize again. I am so so sorry that this happened. I should have known better."
"It's okay." Buffy replied, really meaning it this time. She had made her own mistakes on several occasions. "I have a question, though…"
"What?"
"Would the spell have any... aftereffects"
"Aftereffects? Like what?"
Buffy sighed. "You have to swear not to tell anybody."
"Of course, Buffy."
"Okay… I sort of... still like Spike."
"You like him? Like you mean, he's cool and maybe you guys should watch a movie or…"
"I like him like I want to go find him and make out with him and screw him silly."
"Oh."
"Well, could that be part of the spell? Like, I don't really feel the things I think I feel and tomorrow I will wake up and realize Spike is annoying and I can't stand him and he's not really as cute as I think he is and that accent really isn't all that sexy…"
"Oh boy." Willow replied. "Well, I better talk to Giles, he made me promise not to do any spells whatsoever. He almost took my spellbook away!"
"You can't tell him! If Giles found out that I had the hots for Spike he'd flip!"
"Don't worry Buffy, we'll figure out something to tell him so that we can work it all out."
Spike pounded on Giles' door. He needed help, and he needed it right away.
Frenzied, Giles opened the door and found a very disheveled Spike on the other side.
"We have a problem." Spike told him, pushing past him into the home.
Spike explained to Giles how he couldn't get the slayer off of his mind. He wanted nothing more than to be with her, which promptly caused Giles to blush furiously. The watcher realized he would need Willow's spellbook.
He tried to convince Spike to go home and they would figure it out the next day, but he insisted on working it out right then and there. Giles was at a loss. There was no way Willow's parents would understand why her former school librarian was calling at midnight.
As luck would have it, Willow decided she couldn't sleep with the guilt and had headed to Giles' to get him to help her. She knew it was wrong to break her promise to Buffy, but Giles wouldn't tell anybody.
As soon as he opened the door, she blurted out the reason for her visit before she could chicken out. "Giles, I know it's late but we have to help Buffy because she has feelings for Spike now and it might be because of that spell which would make it my fault and what if she goes crazy or something?"
Just then she saw that Spike was standing a few feet away from the door, a smirk on his face.
"Oops." She added weakly.
"I've got it!" Giles exclaimed triumphantly.
"What?" Willow and Spike replied in unison.
"You seemed to have made a mistake when you transcribed the Latin of this spell." Giles told her.
Spike shot her a dirty look and she bit her lip.
"It turns out that this spell does not make people feel friendly, it makes them act like how they truly want, but with an extra.... oomph."
"So, you're telling me that the slayer and I humped like bunnies, not because Willow here put us under a spell to have all these amorous feelings, but because we actually really do want each other?"
Giles, still blushing from the 'humping like bunnies' comment, replied. "Well… yes… sort of… your feelings were a bit accentuated."
"So I really do want the slayer?" Spike pondered, cocking his head to the side. "Well, she is a seductive little minx. And she wants me back, you say?" He grinned at Willow.
Willow whimpered. "Uh oh… please?! I wasn't supposed to tell anybody!"
"Spike, I really must say I don't think that you and Buffy being a..a..a couple would be a good idea…" Giles told him.
"Why the bloody hell not? As you can see, when we shag I don't turn into a homicidal maniac." He smiled proudly. "Why, I'm already sort of a homicidal, but I'm not a maniac!"
Giles put his face in his hands. "Why do all the other watchers get regular slayers that just slay? Why do I get the one slayer that has to fall in love with two vampires?"
Buffy awoke to the sound of her bedroom door creaking open. She opened her eyes and found Willow creeping in.
"Willow?" Buffy asked tiredly.
"Hi Buffy." Willow said, sitting on the side of her bed.
Buffy glanced at her bedside clock. "It's two in the morning! What are you doing here?"
"I know, I'm sorry, I wouldn't have bugged you if it wasn't necessary. I found out about the spell."
"How?"
Willow looked down. "I'm sorry! I told Giles."
"Willow!"
"That's not all."
"What else did you do?"
"Well, as soon as he opened the door, I sort of blurted it out that you liked Spike before I could change my mind and unfortunately I didn't see that Spike was standing right there."
"Oh God." Buffy replied.
Willow sighed and continued. "It turns out that the feelings you have now aren't part of the spell. The spell made you do what you felt like doing, it just exaggerated your feelings."
"So, you're saying..."
"You really did like Spike, you were just so busy hating him that you didn't want to admit it to your conscious self."
"And he knows this…" Buffy replied, mortified.
"Yeah, but on the bright side, he was there because he feels the same way."
"He does?"
"Yup." Willow replied, smiling hopefully.
Buffy frowned. "Yeah, right, sure. He doesn't feel the same way, he just likes the sex."
"How do you know?"
"Because that's all we did and he's a soulless vampire, how could he love me?"
"He loved Drusilla."
"Yeah, but she was a vampire. I'm the slayer."
"Buffy, he wasn't saying that it was all about sex."
Buffy gave her an incredulous look. "Willow, he's a *guy*, it's always about sex with them."
"That's not all."
"There's *more*?!"
"The reason I came over here now instead of waiting to tell you tomorrow is because Spike wouldn't wait until tomorrow morning and he's here, so I came so that you wouldn't wake up and find Spike in here. I thought it might freak you out."
Buffy sighed. "Where is he?"
"Downstairs."
"Make him leave. Please."
"Buffy.."
"Willow, please just do it."
Resignedly, Willow got up and headed down the stairs. She found Spike pacing in the living room.
"Spike, Buffy is really really tired, I think it might be better if you talked to her tomorrow night."
"What?" Spike asked in disbelief. "No way, I'm going up there!"
And with that, he brushed past Willow and headed up the stairs and marching into Buffy's bedroom, lying down on the bed next to her before she could say a word.
"Hey!" She argued. "Get out!"
"Aww… come on pet, we both know that's not what you want!"
"Yes it is!"
Spike laughed. "I love it when you play hard to get!"
"I'm not playing. Now get your ass out of my bed before I stake you."
"I'm not leaving until I get a kiss at the very least."
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the ceiling.
Spike laughed again. "You're so cute when you're stubborn!"
Buffy tried waiting him out, but apparently Spike had grown some patience, so Buffy got up and marched into her mother's bedroom, barking at Spike that if he wanted to sleep in her room so much he could sleep in there alone.
Buffy cuddled under her mother's blankets, wishing they were Spike's arms, but not daring to allow him to do it. She wouldn't let him in her heart. There was no way she was going to let herself fall in love again. She wanted a relationship, but all Spike could possibly want was sex. After a week and he'd be through with her. She couldn't handle that.
Down the hall, Spike lay alone in the slayer's bed, a content smile on his face. He was confident that it was only a matter of time before she'd be his……
The End