destructo-girl.com

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"Niblet, she only wants what is best for you."

Dawn shook her head, "You always side with her." She stomped out OT the room bumping into her sister on her way out.

Buffy walked into the kitchen sighing, "I guess she told you about the advanced classes?"

"Yep, she doesn’t want to take them Buffy. Don’t you really think its her choice?" He jimped down from his seat on the countertop.

Buffy rolled her eyes at him, "You always take her side."

He laughed at the statement. She frowned at him, "What’s so funny?"

"Nothing, Niblet just told me the same thing." He took her hand in his, "I’m just saying she’s been through a lot maybe the advanced classes can wait a year."

"I just want her to have everything, all the chances I didn’t. She’s so smart Spike she can really make something of herself." ###

The dream wasn’t really disturbing actually it was kind of comforting. The second dream was much like the first - a slice of what Spike imagined life with Buffy could have been.

"Happy Birthday, dear Dawn. Happy Birthday to you!" Spike was surrounded by the entire Scooby Gang as they belted out the familiar song to Dawn who stood grinning beside Buffy and a large cake with a huge 15 on it.

####

"Next year I can drive!" Dawn smiled as she opened the gifts.

"We’ll see." Buffy looked unsure.

"Buffy the bad driving gene may not have extended to me." Dawn grinned as everyone in the room laughed.

Buffy just smiled at her sister, "Maybe."

At first they came a couple nights a week, but lately they came more often, he dreamed almost every single night.

"It’s that bad?" Spike asked Buffy as she glanced up from her research book.

"Giles, says it’s bad." Buffy replied as she took a sip of cocoa and began to read again.

"But do you think we really need to involve *him*? Spike asked nervously.

"Are you that insecure about Angel coming to Sunnydale?" She lifted her eyes from the book and took his hand. "You don’t need to worry, Spike." ######

Sometimes the dreams were very short like a vignette played out in his head of the simplest moments.

#####

"Mint chocolate chip." Dawn called to him as he stood in front of the ice cream display. She was heading towards him arms full of chips and snack cakes.

"The green one?" He asked pulling out a carton for her inspection.

"That’s the one." Buffy’s voice came from behind him, her arms full of milk, butter and eggs.

"Let me help you with those." He took the groceries from her and sat them in the buggy.

She kissed him on the cheek, "Thanks. Now on to the bread aisle."

#####

And sometimes they were too good to be true - these were his favorite’s, he often woke up from them and immediatley closed his eyes again trying to recapture the moment.

####

The alarm clock blared in his ear. He felt a small arm fling over his chest and fumble for the shut off button. He opened his eyes to see Buffy peeking at him thorugh one partially opened eye. "Tell me it isn’t really time to get up." She sighed opening the other eye.

"Sorry, pet. It’s 7am, time for good girls to get up and ready for school. You want me to go check and see if Dawn is up?" He smiled as he stood and pulled on a pair of sweat pants.

"Please. You are too good to me." She yawned and closed her eyes again.

"Buffy, Buffy!" He called softly to her as he traced circles on her bare upper arm with a feather light touch.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him, glancing at the clock she sat straight up, "I"m late! You let me sleep, where is Dawn?" She stood and started towards the bathroom.

"Dawn is at school safe and sound. And, yes, I let you sleep. You needed it, you patroled far too late last night." He walked towards her and pulled her to him, "I thought you needed some tender loving care."

She smiled up at him, "Guess I could tell my instructors, I was home - sick in bed." She ran a gentle hand down his cheek and then kissed him passionately.

"Well the ‘in bed’part would be right." He swept her off her feet and carried her back to the bed. Thier soft laughter filled the room. ####

The last dream had been different, it had a whole new feel to it. It wasn’t that the dream was bad, just kind of disturbing.

####

Spike took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from his brow with his discarded tee shirt. Next week theywould hire someone to mow the lawn. The sun bore down on him as he made the final length of the yard and turned off the mower.

"Hey," came a soft voice from behind him. He turned and smiled as she waddled towards him. Her belly very round with pregnancy. "I brought you something to drink."

She handed him an ice cold glass of water and made her way to sit down in a lawn chair. "It is hot." She complained as he sat down in the chair next to her.

"It is." He offered her the water and she took a large sip. "Next week we hire someone to mow."

"Maybe I could do it and it would finally put me in labor." She sighed a she rubbed the large mound of her belly.

"You’re only three days overdue. They say sometimes first babies take thier time getting here." He placed his hand on belly and grinned. She was positively glowing and not just from the heat. She was absolutely gorgeous and his heart soared that she was carrying his child.

#####

Spike had awakened from the dream with an odd feeling, taking a deep breath. He hurried towards the cemetary. He had to talk to her. The run to the cemetary left him tired, he felt strange and was glad when he could finally rest at the foot of her grave. "Buffy, luv. Tonight, I had the strangest dream. And now I feel so odd, I’m not sure what it all means, but it wasn’t an ordinary dream. I know it wasn’t." He sat down beside the stone and leaned his head against the hard granite. * She was dressed in a lavender skirt and sweater, Dawn had picked it out. Buffy wasn’t sure how she knew her sister had chosen the clothes that she had been buried in. Buffy wasn’t *sure* of anything now, she kept holding her arms out and looking at them to make sure she was still here, place her hand on her chest to feel her heartbeat, stop and make sure she was breathing - it was distressing to have to think about being alive! But she was here and she was alive and she didn’t know why?

She had seen the blond vampire creep into the cemetary, her first instinct was to run to him but she had chickened out. She had been watching him quietly from behind a crypt. Scared, unsure of what to say to him. Everything was so confusing, she watched Spike as he spoke in hushed tones to the stone. That stone, that terrible stone that bore her name. Taking a very deep breath and checking her pulse once more, gathering her courage she walked towards the grave.

"Spike." She called softly.

He closed his eyes, "This last dream was hard enough, I can’t take hearing her voice too. It’s not fair." He shouted to the empty cemetary.

"Spike." She called again, a bit louder this time.

"Damn it! It’s not fair! She’s not here!" He shouted again this time standing and turning to face the voice.

His eyes grew large and he could feel a very strange beating in his chest when he saw her, he had to breathe, he had to force himself to gulp in air. "Buffy?" It came out a strangled word.

She walked quickly towards him, "Yes, it’s really me. I don’t understand what happened. Please, tell me."

He looked at her confused face and reached a hand tentatively towards her as if he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not. She was solid, her skin warm to his touch after another moments hesitation he pulled her to him in a tight hug, tears ran down his cheeks, "You’re alive."

Buffy returned the hug, happy for something familiar around her. She leaned against his chest and gasped as she listened to the steady beat of a heart. - Spike’s heart. She looked at him with wonder, "Spike, you are too. You’re alive."

He pulled back from her, "What?"

"You...you’re heart is beating and you’re breathing. Just like me." She stared into his eyes as she took his hand in hers and placed them both over his heart. "Feel it." She whispered softly.

His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened as he felt the thrum of a heartbeat - his heartbeat under his hand. He was alive! How? He gulped in air and laughed out loud, "I am - I’m alive."

Buffy had to smile as she watched him breathing in the cool night air. "When?" She finally asked.

"I really don’t know. Now?" Spike grinned at her as her picked her up and spun her around. "You’re alive! I’m alive! We’ve got to go tell the others."

She giggled as he spun her round but then her face grew serious as she stopped spinning. "We can’t Spike. Not yet."

"Why luv?" He asked genuinely confused by her reluctance to go the gang, to go to Dawn. "The others should know, we have to at least tell Giles."

"I can’t go yet. I have to know this is going to last. I can’t go to him yet, I can’t let any of them know." Her voice rose and she began to breathe hard.

"Calm down, Buffy. We have to tell them - Giles will know what to do with you and ... with me" He placed his hands on her shoulders, "We have to find out whats happened here?"

"Thats why I can’t go right now - Spike, cause I don’t know whats happened, I don’t know if it’s gonna last. It would destroy Giles if I came to him tonight and then *poof* tomorrow I’m gone again? And what would that do to Dawn" I have to think, we have to figure out if whats happened to me and to you are related incidents?" She took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

"Related incidents? Probably just a freaky coinciidence." Spike said thoughtfully. He wasn’t ready to accept his gift of humaness so easily, he was sure there was a catch. Nothing this wonderful could happen to him, could it? A little part of his brain was working overtime thinking about his latest dream - where he was human and Buffy was pregnant with his child.

"In Sunnydale there are no coincidences, Spike." She gave him a small smile.

"You’ve got a point, Slayer. Lets just go to the crypt and we’ll have a rest and tomorrow we’ll figure this out." He offered her his hand and smiled brightly when she accepted it.

"So, how has it been since I... since I uh left?" Buffy asked as she followed Spike into the crypt.

"Very sad, luv. We’ve all tried to go on - but you are a hard person to lose." He told her the sincerity in his voice touched Buffy and she gave his hand a squeeze. "Right then, I’ve got these blankets and we can fix a pallet." He began to straighten the blankets on the floor in two piles.

"Spike it’s a bit chilly and we’ll stay warmer if we sleep together." Buffy blushed at how her words at sounded. But she didn’t want him to know that she couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping alone, she needed to feel someone near her, she was scared she was going to open her eyes and find that a cruel trick had been played on her. She was more scared then she had ever been in her entire life.

"Right, body heat." He grinned at her, "I have that now." He placed the blankets together in one pile and lay down patting the space beside him.

She lay down facing him. "So how do you think this happened?" She asked with a yawn. "Somebody playing games with us? A spell of some sort maybe.But why us? And why make you human?" Despite her fear she was exhausted and she was becoming drowsier by the minute.

"I’m sure I don’t know, but if we are both still here and breathing in the morning, I know the man who can help us figure it out." Spike yawned too. And then he grinned, a real yawn with real breath behind it - amazing.

"Giles." Buffy smiled at her watchers name.

"Giles." Spike agreed with a sleepy smile, "I think we both need to get some rest now."

"I think you might be right." She told him pulling the covers up to her chin.

"Buffy?" Spike asked before he closed his eyes.

"Hmm?" She murmured.

"I missed you and I’m so glad you’re back."

"Me too." She whispered as sleep claimed,her a smile on her pretty face.

Spike watched her sleeping for a minute more before he gave in to his own exhaustion.

Sometime during the night the two of them wound up cuddled next to each other. Spike spooned against Buffys back his arm protectively wrapped around her waist. She woke first a little confused until she turned to see the familiar face behind her. She felt his warm breath on the back of her neck, she was still alive and so was he. She disentangled herself from his embrace and stood stretching the soreness from her body. The crypt floor was not the most comfortable bed. She walked outside into the morning sunshine inhaling the morning air. It was good to be alive she thought as she walked back into the crypt.

Spike stirred and opened his eyes, fear struck him as he noticed the empty space on the pallet beside him. It was a dream, a cruel evil dream. She wasn’t here at all. He closed his eyes again and sighed. He heard the crypt door open ,he grinned when he saw Buffy. It wasn't a dream afterall. He stood a bit stiffly, his back hurt a bit. He smiled, humans weren’t meant to sleep on hard floors. "Good morning." He said brightly as he started to fold the blankets.

"Good morning!" Buffy replied helping him with his chore.

"So, we are both still here. Now what?" He asked her as she stowed the blankets in the corner.

"I guess we should go to Giles. But maybe you better prepare him about me. It’s going to be a shock for everyone."

"And then we tell him about me?"

"Yeah and hope that he can help us figure it out. Meanwhile I’m hungry and that sound rumbling in your tummy means you are too." Buffy poked his belly and grinned."Do you have any money?"

"A little, why?" He asked suspiciously.

"You’re going to buy us breakfast." She laughed as she took his hand and started for the door.

"Wait! " He stopped at the crypt entrance.

"What?" She aske raising her eyebrow at him.

"The sun." He replied annxiously.

"You don’t have to worry about that anymore, Spike." She started towards the door again, holding his hand tightly. "Come on, you’ll be fine." She led him outside into the light, he stood very still for a moment as the sun shone on him warming his face for the first time in over a century.

"It’s beautiful!" He whispered awestruck.

Buffy smiled at him, "Yes it is."

They made their way to a small restaurant and ordered breakfast. Spike savored each bite, "It tastes so much better now." He inhaled deeply enjoying the scent of his eggs and bacon and the coffee, he drank three cups of coffee. Buffy enjoyed watching him discover his new found humaness as she drank he own cup. She was anxious and dreading the visit to Giles at the same time.

"Guess we better go." Spike told her as he finished his last sip of coffee.

"Yeah, I guess it’s time." She stood and walked to the door waiting for him to pay the bill.

Midway through the walk Spike began to get uncomfortable and fiidget. "What’s wrong?" Buffy asked as she watched him slow down his walk.

"I think I have to use the bathroom." He said quietly almost embarrassed.

"After three cups of coffee it’s no wonder! You’ll just have to hold it till we get to Giles."She told him as if he were a child.

"I’ve been holding it for over a hundred years, Slayer. I’ve got to go" he looked at her with a miserable expression on his face.

"Fine. Go in the alley." She pointed towards an alley and stood against the wall as she waited for him to return.

In a few minutes he came back up the alley, "Did you remember how?" She asked with a grin.

"Very funny. It came back to me." He shook his head at her.

* Giles sat on his couch enjoying a hot cup of tea and the newspaper. Dawn thankfully was with Tara and Willow. It was their turn to have her and though he loved her dearly, she did sometimes cramp the Watcher’s quiet lifestyle and to be honest sometime she would say something or give him a look that was so Buffylike that it made his heart ache.

The knock at the door suprised him, it was Saturday and he knew none of the Scooby Gang would be up this early. He rose to answer the door swearing under his breath at the interruption of his quiet time. He peeked out the window and saw it was Spike. What could he want at this time of day?

He opened the door and let him in with a grouchy " What do you want at this hour?" It then dawned on him that it was "Spike" out at this hour and he was without his blanket.

"Spike, how?" Giles asked as she led him to the living room and pushed him down on the couch. "This isn’t some bad spell or trick?" He asked him sternly not bothering to shut the front door.

"No trick. Last night I went to the cemetary."

"The cemetary?"

"Yeah, to uh... her grave." Spike lowered his eyes from Giles.

"Oh." Giles whispered, "that doesn’t explain this." Giles picked up Spike’s arm and felt for his pulse and shaking his head in amazement when he found it.

"Well, I was there at the grave and something happened." Spike started again but Giles interrupted,

"I would say something happend - your human!"

"Well yeah. But thats not all. Something wonderful has happened." Spike smiled excitedly.

"I’m afraid to ask?" Giles shook his head as he took off his glasses and began to clean them.

"You always do that when you don’t know what to say." A soft familiar voice came from the door way.

Giles ears pricked up at the voice, no it couldn’t be. He was afraid to turn around afraid that his ears were deceiving him. Spike’s words echoed in his head "Something wonderful has happened."

"It’s me, Giles." She stepped into the apartment.

He turned slowly to face her as he put his glasses back on. She was there, Buffy, small and blond and *alive*.

Giles gulped in breath as he strared intently at the girl in front of him. He uttered one single word before turning back to Spike, "How?"

"I don’t know." Buffy replied softly.

Giles glanced at her once more and then turned his attention back to Spike, "Spike, this would be the cruelest of tricks...you wouldn’t put Dawn through that?" He spoke harshly.

Spike shook his head, "Not a trick, Watcher. She’s real and so am I."

Buffy moved closer to the two men, Giles turned to face her again. "You’re really here." His voice cracked slightly as he slumped to the couch.

Buffy moved quickly to his side, she sat down beside him and gently took his hand in hers. "Yes, I’m here and I don’t know how or why. But it is me." She smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

Giles smiled then as he let go of her hand and touched her hair, "It is you. I don’t know what to say - it’s a miracle." He grinned brightly at her for a moment, then his eyes became misty, "I thought you were gone forever." He grasped her in a tight hug, Buffy smiled she could count on one hand how many times Giles had hugged her.

"I know," she patted his hand again as she pullled away from him, "Do you think you can help me figure out *how*?"

"Ummph... " Spike cleared his throat catching Giles attention, "And maye figure out my situation too."

Giles stared at Spike suddenly remembering the former vampires current "living" state. "Well, yes. I feel sure there is a connection between the two events."

Buffy grinned at Spike, "Told you so." He rolled his eyes at her and turned to Giles, "Shall we tell the others or keep it between us three for now."

"Let’s look through a few books first and then we’ll tell the others. This is going to be traumatic for them all, especially Dawn." Giles gave Buffy a small smile, "Everyone was devastated when we lost you, Buffy. And they are truly trying to move on but its hard - and now you’re back!"

"And I want to make sure I stay here for awhile." She sighed as she followed Giles to the bookshelf in the corner.

Spike sat alone in the living room feeling quite alone, he was human and no one seemed to really care.He sighed and stood, Buffy seemed to sense his discomfort and turned towards him, "Come on, Spike. You can help me carry these books." She smiled brightly at him and suddenly he felt better.

"Okay." He returned the smile as he took an armful of books.

"Spike, did you feel the change come over you?" Giles asked as he pored over a large open book.

"No, I didnt’ realize what had happened until Buffy pointed it out."

"I felt his heartbeat." Buffy explained as she reached for another book.

"And Buffy - you don't remember what happened before you found yourself in the cemetary last night?" Giles removed his glasses and began to clean them.

"I remember jumping into the portal, then it was like a peaceful nothingness. Then all of a sudden I’m in a cememtary staring at my own gravestone. Very eerie." She shivered slightly.

"And human Spike found you there?"

"Not exactly, I heard him coming and hid behind a crypt. When I realized it was Spike, I came out of hiding. He was... well suprised to say the least and when he hugged me," Giles raised his eyebrows at the mention of the hug and Buffy lowered her eyes, " I felt his heartbeat then."

"Yeah, I thought I was seeing things." Spike grinned at the Slayer, "But she was real and then so was I."

"So this happened last night?"

"Yeah, late, I had a strange dream and woke up feeling like I needed to go to the cemetary." Spike explained as he found a book for himself.

"Dream? What kind of dream?" Giles asked with interest.

"Uh... just a strange dream." Spike became very interested in his book.

"Well it might be important, it made you go to the cemetary in the middle of the night." Giles pushed.

"Spike, he’s right. What was the dream about?" Buffy spoke up.

"It was just a strange dream, in it I was human." Spike explained.

"How did you know you were human?" Giles asked as he doodled on a notepad.

"I was mowing the grass in the sunlight."

"Is that all?" Buffy asked, "That made you want to go to my grave?"

"Well theres more, but I’m not sure what to make of it." Spike sighed he really didnt’ want to divulge his dream.

"Please, Spike. Tell me all of it." Buffy patted his hand.

"Okay, I was mowing the grass and you came out with a glass of water for me and you were very pregnant - with my child." Spike spoke the words quickly.

Buffy and Giles both stared at him sheer shock on thier faces. "Oh... well... I can see why the dream woke you. Um..very interesting." Giles began to doodle more on his paper.

Buffy continued to stare at Spike, "You dreamed I was pregnant with your baby?"

"Well yeah, now you can see why I was upset last night. I woke up feeling odd and I needed to tell you about the dream. So thats where you found me." Spike began to chip at the old black polish on his nails. "I go there alot." He added softly.

"I’m not sure how it fits, but it is odd that he dreamed he was human and you were *very* alive and then he finds you in the cemetary and he’s human." Giles drummed his pencil on the table.

"So part of the dream came true, how about the rest of it?" Buffy asked uneasily as she looked at the blond man sitting next to her.

"I’m sure it was a dramatic way of getting Spike to the cemetary - but I can’t answer the rest. We may never have the answers we want." Giles sighed not wanting to admit that he had no idea what the rest of the dream meant and that it worried him.

"I think I’ll go out and pick up some lunch." Spike stood and backed away from the table.

‘I’ll go. It’s not wise for you to be out in the daylight you might run into somebody." Giles stood. "Stay here with Buffy, please."

"Sure." Spike told him as he began to pace around the room.

Giles grabbed his jacket and was out the door leaving Buffy and Spike alone again. He needed to get to the Magic Shoppe quickly. There were certain new books there, the council had took pity on him and sent several new volumes after Buffy died, he’d told them he needed them to protect the populace of Sunnydale now that they were Slayerless. Although he had only glanced at the books something was niggling at the back of his head, a passage somewhere that had meant nothing until Buffy and Spike had walked through his door.

Buffy watched as Spike paced around the room at this rate he was going to wear a path into Giles carpet.

"Spike, you seem really nervous.Are you okay? I mean last night you seemed better with this then I did." She frowned and chewed on her bottom lip, "Now you seem kind of off."

She watched him sit down in one of the living room chairs. "Well, I’ve had more time to think about it now. And I’m not sure what I ‘m going to do." He fidgted in his chair. Buffy smiled to herself - human or vampire, Spike could not sit still.

"You ‘ve got a second chance, Spike." She touched his hand, "So do I." She felt a kindred with him and she couldn’t explain it. But somewhere she felt that if Spike couldn’t handle his humaness that she couldn’t handle her new life either. That the two of them needed each other to get through this.

"Well it’s all well and good for you. Everyone will be so glad you’re back everything will go back to how it was for you." He sighed deeply and searched for his cigarettes."For me it’s different. No one cared for me, I was only good for helping cause I had some strength. Now, I’ve got nothing."

He lit the ciggarette and was caught off guard when Buffy took it from him midair. "What the?"

"I care Spike. You were there for me and Dawn - I care. And you’re human now, so that means no more smoking." She took the ciggarette into the kitchen and put it out in the sink.

"Hey, thats mine." He complained but he couldn’t help but smile at her previous words, * she cared.* He followed her into the kitchen.

"I guess Niblet will be happy that I’m human, now I don’t have to worry about becomng dusty if I take her to school in the morning. And I can really enjoy those peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches she’s always pushing at me. And if she’s happy about me - she’s gonna be ecstatic about you - she’s missed you so much, Buffy. And despite how much we tried to reaasure her, she feels guilty that you... that you left."

Buffy teared up at his talk of Dawn.She wanted to see her sister so badly, to hug her and to tell her it wasn't her fault, that it was worth everything to keep her safe. She sniffed and then spoke, "So you want to try peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches? You do have a thing for marshmallows so you’ll enjoy them." She smiled at him briefly, then became serious, "Do you really think Dawn will be okay with this? She’s been through so much."

"Buffy if anyone will be okay with this it’s Dawn. She’s got that Summer’s blood in her, they tend to be strong women, Slayer or not." He grinned at her, "Lets go see if Passions is on."

"You’re still watching that?" Buffy shook her head as she followed him into the living room.

Spike turned on the tv and quickly found *his* show. "Now sit down, Pet. Cause I have a lot to fill you in on."

Buffy settled in next to him as he began to explain the goings on of Timmy and the other characters. She let the calmness of his voice soothe away her worries. Maybe everything would be okay.

Giles unlocked the Magic Shoppe and slipped in leaving the lights out. He picked up the phone and ordered a pizza to be delivered to his apartment. He then called Buffy with the excuse of having to wait for a forgotten shipment at the shop and instructed her to pay for the pizza with money from the cookie jar.

He then carried the box of new books back to the old training room and began to skim through them in a matter of moments he found the passage he was looking for. He sighed as he reread the paragraph. It all made sense now. He tucked the book under his arm and locked up the shop on his way out. He knew what had to be done now. He wasn’t sure how it was going to go over with everyone though.

Giles unlocked the apartment to find Buffy and Spike huddled on the couch giggling at the tv. He smiled to himself, Buffys giggle was something rare and he had missed it. They looked completely natural together, they had always played off of each other well whether fighting against each other or a common enemy. Perhaps he subconciously knew? But Spike? Giles gathered himself together this wasn’t going to be easy.

"Did the pizza get here?" He called out to the two on the couch.

Buffy stood, "It just arrived. We thought we would wait on you." The two men followed the small blond to the kitchen. The scent of pepperoni wafted throught he apartment.

"Hmm... " Buffy sighed as she took a bite, the cheese stringing from her mouth to the pizza slice. "This is good, come on Spike try it."

Spike took a slice and bit into it, "Oww... hot!" He stuck his tongue out to try to cool it.

Buffy gave a small giggle, "Sorry I should have warned you, the cheese is hot."

"Thanks,Slayer." He rolled his eyes at her, "Lets laugh at the newly human."

Giles had to suppress a smile at the ex vampire. Spike the big bad burning his tongue on pizza - what had the world come to?

"Giles why the serious face?" Buffy asked between bites.

"Oh... I was just thinking that... well we might not find an answer for all of this or we might not like the answer we find." He stuttered as he took a slice of pizza.

"Maybe we aren’t supposed to." Spike interjected as he attempted another bite of pizza.

"That could be, Spike, maybe we are just supposed to accept this and enjoy it." Giles smiled at them because he was afraid that they might not ever find the exact answers to thier question.

"So can I call Dawn now?" Buffy asked as she reached for another napkin.

"No!" Giles answered quickly.

Buffy and Spike both looked at him apprehensively. "Why not?" They asked in unison.

He looked from Buffy to Spike and sighed as he sat his pizza down. "I have to talk to you about your situation."

Buffy balled up the napkin she held, "It’s bad isn’t it?"

"What is it, Watcher?" Spike asked his apprehension as obvious as Buffy’s.

"I don’t think you can call it bad exactly. It’s just different. I know that we’ve made assumptions about different things in your life, the different people in your life, Buffy. What we sometimes feel is destined maybe really isn’t your destiny?" Giles shook his head as she tried to explain.

"I’m not supposed to be the Slayer?" Buffy asked trying to understand.

"Oh... no you are the slayer. But there are books that speak of your alliance with a vampire who works for the good." Giles started but was soon interrupted. "A vampire who regains his humanity."

"There are books about that? " Buffy’s voice sounded excited , as the words registered, "So Angel is going to regain his humanity? Angel and I are in books? Why didn’t you ever mention this?"

"I didn’t mention it before because of not properly understanding the books until tonight, when I sat down and read them thoroughly and looked over passages in some other books. Anyway the alliance with Angel could have well been ended when you let him feed from you and you saved the mayor, and I am not aware of Angel being able to regain his humanity. " Giles stood and began pacing the floor.

Spike sat quietly listening to Giles, he had the feeling there was a lot more Giles had to say but seemed hesitant to tell them.

"You know more then you are saying, you read up some more tonight - what can you tell me about all of this?" Buffy asked nervously.

Giles turned to face them both, "This isn’t easy to say Buffy. But here it goes. Your destiny is with Spike. He is albeit a strange choice but a former evil vampire who now works for the good, and he's regained his humanity."

"Me - Spike? Destiny?" Buffy swallowed hard as she began to twist the napkin in her hand again.

"Are you sure?" Spike asked dumbfounded.

"Quite sure, and your dreams... " Giles tapered off not sure if Buffy was ready for this part.

"My dreams?" The blond asked standing. No they couldn't be, could they?

"Your dreams are prophetic, Spike. Buffy will have your child." Giles sighed as he sat down next to Buffy. "Buffy are you okay?" Giles rubbed her shoulder, she was very quiet.

"I can’t have his baby! We’re just ... well friends I guess. I mean I know he has feelings for me and he’s taken care of Dawn. But Spike! Are you sure you read this right?" She furiously chewed on her bottom lip.

Spike looked hurt at her words, "Well it’s not a piece of cake for me either you know!" He spat the words at her. "Not long ago, I was just a vampire, the big bad and then somehow I end up back here neutered and in love with you - then you up and die and leave me miserable - the next thing I know - your breathing again and so am I. And now marriage and a family are in the future! I’d say my life was at least as sucky as yours is." He stomped out the front door.

"Where are you going?" She called out behind him.

"I’m going to smoke!" He called over his shoulder as he slammed the door behind him. * Giles shook his head as he watched the door slam. "Buffy, I know this is sudden and hard to accept - but it’s going to happen. You must accept it."

Buffy looked at him with watery eyes, "That’s part of it, Giles. I don’t want to know what’s going to happen, I want a normal life like everyone else, I want to wake up and fall in love without knowing it was part of a big plan. And to think about getting pregnant with Spikes child! This is too much to make me bear. I’ll never be happy if everyday I have to say is the day that I fall for Spike? And after our reactions how can you think we will ever find out way to that point! And Giles - big news flash - somewhere inside of me I’ve always thought that Angel and I... I know its silly but." She turned away from him tears rolling down her cheeks.

Giles pulled her into a tight hug. "It will be okay, Buffy." He mentally thanked himself for bringing the book, he knew what he was going to have to do now.

Spike threw the butt down and stomped it into the sidewalk outside Giles’ door which he had left cracked, he listened to Buffy’s crying. On one hand he wanted to comfort her and on the other who did she think she was? She wasn't the only one affected by this. Sure yeah, he loved her and this was his fondest dream, but he would never be able to enjoy it knowing how much she hated the idea - knowing she wished he was Angel.

His mind drifted back to his dreams though. Buffy in his bed, Buffy doing something as mundane as shopping, Buffy large with his child. He smiled inspite of himself, it would be worth it - worth anything to have those dreams come true.

He sighed as he pushed the door open and joined Buffy and Giles in the apartment.

"You okay?" Spike asked hesitantly as he sat on the other side of Buffy.

She turned a tear stained face to him, "I’m okay. It’s just a lot to take in."

"I know, luv." He tentatively touched her shoulder, "But its going to be okay."

"I hope so." She replied softly as she leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes.

Giles watched the tenderness with which Spike treated Buffy and not for the first time was amazed at the depth of feeling - of love, he showed for her. Maybe this wasn’t so bad and if he could fix things a bit everyone would be fine.

Buffy opened her eyes, "Can I see Dawn now?"

"No!" Giles exclaimed quickly.

"Why not?" Buffy and Spike asked in unison.

"Do you have more news for us?" Spike asked raising an eyebrow at Giles.

"No, nothing else." Giles assured them, "I think we should give it another night. This is going to be hard for everyone to accept. Lets just give it one more night and you can call Dawn in the morning. You and Spike can stay here tonight." Giles replied calmly.

Buffy looked at Spike and nodded her head he nodded back at her. "If you think it’s best to wait we will." She told Giles as she stood and gathered up the pizza box for the trash can.

"I need to do some research. Make yourselves at home." He smiled at the couple as he made his way up the stairs to his bedroom.

"He’s acting weird." Buffy frowned as Giles left the room.

"Pet, this is a lot for anyone to take. He’s handling it better then lots of people would." Spike picked up the remote, "Come on now, lets find something else to watch."

Buffy curled up on the end of the couch opposite Spike. The smell of incense drifted down the staircase and Buffy could hear Giles mumbling. Her eyes felt very heavy and she found her self leaning against Spike whose was already sleeping a sofa pillow behind his head.

Giles walked softly into the room surveying the sleeping couple. He muttered a few more words and and picked up Buffy’s left hand he placed a ring on the third finger, he then picked up Spikes hand and placed a ring on his finger. This was the right thing to do, the only thing to do - this way no one had to ever be reminded of Buffy’s death again. He hoped he had translated the book correctly. His Slayer was to be bonded with a former vampire. And here was a former vampire who loved her and had proved he would die for her.

He glanced at his watch and sighed, it was time. He gently nudged Buffy awake. "Buffy, you best get home. Dawn will be worrying."

"What?" She asked sleepily.

"You fell asleep. I guess I bored you both with these new books." Giles laughed softly.

"Oh, I"m sorry Giles. Late patrol." She stretched a bit and grinned at Spike before she shook Spike awake. "Sleeping beauty we need to get home. Dawn will be worried."

Spike stood up and took her hand. "Sorry Giles. Late patrol last night."

"Buffy said as much. It’s okay." He walked the couple to the door and sighed with relief as he watched them walk towards Buffy’s house. It seemed to have worked.

"I’m going to put in a load of laundry." Buffy told Spike as she walked into the house, "Go see what Dawn wants for supper."

Spike walked into the kitchen to find Dawn with her head in the refrigerator. "Hey little bit. How was school?" He asked as he hopped up on the counter top.

"They called me into the office again to talk about advanced placement classes. I don’t want to deal with that right now, Spike. Can’t you talk to her?" Dawn pleaded as she poured a glass of milk.

"Niblet, she only wants what is best for you."

Dawn shook her head, "You always side with her." She stomped out of the room bumping into her sister on her way out.

Buffy walked into the kitchen sighing, "I guess she told you about the advanced classes?"

"Yep, she doesn’t want to take them Buffy. Don’t you really think its her choice?" He jimped down from his seat on the countertop.

Buffy rolled her eyes at him, "You always take her side."

He laughed at the statement. She frowned at him, "What’s so funny?"

"Nothing, Niblet just told me the same thing." He took her hand in his, "I’m just saying she’s been through a lot maybe the advanced classes can wait a year."

"I just want her to have everything, all the chances I didn’t. She’s so smart Spike she can really make something of herself."

"I know she’s smart, Luv. I’m just saying... " Spike stopped midsentence, an eerie feeling of deja vu passing over him.

"You okay, sweetie?" Buffy stepping closer to him, "You look kind of funny."

"It’s just I feel like I’ve had this conversation before. It’s nothing." He shook off the feeling. He stared at the ring on his finger,everything was perfect, he had regained his humanity right after he had helped Buffy defeat Glory and everything had fallen into place.He and Buffy had married a year ago - surely this odd feeling was nothing to worry about.

The evening went like clockwork, Buffy fixed dinner while Spike helped Dawn with her history homework. Giles came over at nine o’clock for Dawn duty as Buffy and Spike did a quick patrol. After taking out a couple of fledglings there seemed to be no action so they returned home to deal with real life.

Spike and Buffy sat down at the table with the checkbook and bills. She drank a soda and he had a beer.Snce becoming human and gaining a family with Buffy and Dawn, Spike had fallen into the life of a typical husband. With some help from Giles he had earned a job as an assistant at the Museum of History. He worked four days a week and alternated Saturdays. Joyce had left the girls in good standing with her insurance having paid off the house so they at least had a secure roof over their heads. There was a bit of money put away for Buffy and Dawn’s educations and Hank still sent child support for Dawn. But they were on a budget and he wanted to contribute. He laughed when he told Buffy that it made him feel all manly to have the job. She knew him well enough to understand that he needed to feel like he was doing his part to support her.

He wrote out each bill grinning at the checks Buffy had chosen for their account. He had remembered the day she ordered them, "Scooby Doo checks?" He had shook his head at her.

"Scooby gang - Scooby checks."

"But they don’t look very masculine and my name is on them too?"

"I think that your name looks very good on them. Mostly cause its right next to mine." She had kissed his cheek and suddenly he could care less about the checks they could have roses and pansies on them for all he cared.

"So there, all done for another month." He proclaimed as he put the last check in its envelope and handed it to Buffy to stamp.

She placed the stack on the countertop for mailing the next day. "Ready for bed?" She asked as placed her glass in the sink.

"Yeah, I’m kind of tired and I do have to work in the morning." He dropped his bottle in the recycle bin and followed her up the stairs. A quick peek in at Dawn and they went to their room.

"Dawn, hurry and I can drop you off on my way to work." Spike called out as he walked by her room.

Dawn mumbles something unintelligble from the room. Spike took a step back and entered the room. Dawn sat on the bed playnig with the edge of her comforter. "You okay, Niblet?"

"I don't feel so good today." She said grumpily.

He leaned forward and put his hand on her forehead, "No fever. You sick to your stomach? Headache?" He asked with concern.

"It’s nothing. I need to talk to Buffy." She frowned at him.

This was new, Niblet told him everything, some things she wouldn’t even tell her big sis. He felt slightly hurt at her words, "You can tell me, Dawn." He said softly.

"No, Spike. I need to talk to Buffy." She insisted.

"Okay, I’ll go get her." He left the room a worried frown on his face. "Buffy." He called as he entered their room.

"Hmmm." She called from the bathroom.

"Dawn says she needs to talk to you. I’m not sure whats wrong she won’t talk to me." He told her as leaned against the bathroom door.

"She won’t talk to you? Thats strange." Buffy pulled her hair back and left the bathroom, "I’ll find out what’s wrong."

Dawn sat on the bed feeling miserable, she was bloated and had cramps and was feeling generally mad at the world. And on top of it she thought she might have hurt Spike’s feelings, but there are somethings you don’t tell your brother -in-law.

"Dawn, Spike said you needed to talk to me." Buffy sat down on the bed beside the younger girl.

"I feel lousy Buffy. I’ve got bad cramps and I just don’t feel like school today." Dawn sighed.

Buffy ran a hand through her sisters hair, " You havent’ really missed alot of school and if you feel that bad, maybe you need a day in. I’ll get the heating pad and you can rest up today. I don’t have class so I’ll be here all day. How does that sound?"

Dawn gave her a tiny smile, "Thanks, Buffy. That sounds great." She laid down and pulled her covers back up over her.

"Okay, sweetie. I’ll be back with the heating pad." Buffy smiled as she started to leave the room.

"Oh, Buffy." Dawn called behind her.

"Yes." Buffy turned to face her.

"Tell Spike, I’m okay. I’m not mad at him or anything."

"Will do." Buffy smiled at her sister and went back to her room.

"So how is she?" Spike asked anxiously.

"She’s crampy." Buffy told him as she got the heating pad off the closet shelf.

"Crampy?" Spike looked at her strangely.

"Yeah, "crampy" - you know." Buffy shook her head at him.

"Oh, that’s why she wouldn’t talk to me." Spike smiled at the realization that it wasn’t him.

"She even told me to tell you she wasn’t mad at you."

"Well tell her I hope she feels better soon. I’m off to work."

"Okay." Buffy tilted her head for his goodbye kiss.

As she walked down the hallway she had to laugh at how life turns out sometimes. Who would have ever thought - the Slayer married to the ex big bad.

Buffy settled Dawn in on the couch with the heating pad and a glass of orange juice in front of the tv. She studied a bit and made out a grocery list.

Giles picked up the phone to call Buffy. He had been keeping a careful eye on she and Spike. They seemed so happy that he was sure he’d done the right thing by performing the spell. Everyone was much happier this way.

Buffy answered the phone with a cheerful "Hello."

"Buffy, just me checking in. How is everything?" Giles asked equally cheerful.

"Everything is good. Dawn is a bit under the weather today but she’ll be okay." Buffy explained as the chatted. She invited him for dinner and he accepted. "See you at seven then." She told him as she hung up the phone. When Spike got home they would have to run to the grocery.

Spike arrived home a bit early. Slow day at the museum, but that was good becasue Buffy wanted to go grocery shopping anyway. He unlocked the front door and peeked in the living room to see Dawn curled up on the couch in front of the tv, "Feeling better?" He asked as he walked through to the kitchen.

"Yeah, I am. Buffy said I could go to the store with you guys." She smiled at him as she went to find her shoes.

"Buffy, I’m ready when you are." Spike called out as he approached the kitchen.

"Okay, I’ve got a list. Giles will be here at seven." She waved the list at him, "Let’s go. Dawn." she called upstairs.

"I’m coming." Dawn bounced down the stairs.

"You do feel better." Buffy grinned at her sister.

The grocery store wasn’t very crowded as Buffy divided the list and Spike kept charge of the cart. Dawn started after chips and snacks turning, leaving Spike to get the ice cream, "Mint chocolate chip." Dawn called to him.

The deja vu hit him again as the words left his mouth, "The green one?" He took a deep breath as Buffy came around the corner.

He knew the words she was going to speak before they left her mouth. "That’s the one." She smiled at him.

He felt slightly queasy as he helped her put her armful of groceries in the cart. He had done this before or at least seen this exact scene unfold before. "Spike." Buffy called his name, but he barely heard her, "Spike!" She called a bit louder.

"Oh, sorry Pet. Guess my mind was elsewhere." He smiled at her hiding his unease.

"We need to go to the bread aisle." She told him as he followed her with the buggy.

*I need to talk to Giles, this is too strange.* Spike followed his wife as Dawn joined them and they checked out.

Dinner went by smoothly and Spike finally got his chance to talk to Giles as Buffy and Dawn washed up the dishes.

Giles joined Spike in an after dinner beer in the living room. "Giles, I need to talk to you." Spike sounded upset.

"What’s wrong?"

"I’m not sure, I’ve been experienceing these weird deja vu , dream things." He explained about the Advanced studies episode with Dawn and the ice cream episode in the grocery tonight. "It was too weird I knew exactly what they were going to say."

"Spike, I do believe you are worried needlessly." Giles took another sip of his beer, "I mean the advanced studies had been a topic of conversation for awhile here, so you probably just felt like you had already had that partiuclar discussion and as for the ice cream, well Dawn likes mint chocolate chip ice cream so that was kind of a normal thing for her to ask for. I really don’t think you have anything to worry about."

"You think it’s really nothing?" Spike asked uneasily.

"I really do. Don’t worry so much. Not everything has a bad hidden meaning." Giles reassured Spike.

"Well I feel a bit better having told you." Spike sighed.

"You didn’t tell Buffy?"

"Nah, didn’t want to worry her." Spike smiled towards the kitchen he could here Dawn and Buffy giggling about something.

"That was probably wise." Giles agreed secretly relieved that Buffy didn’t know about Spikes little episodes of memory.

The next few weeks passed without as much as a single deja vu for Spike, but it was possibly due to the fact that real life problems seemed to take over.

First, the plumbing was messed up, the plumber cost and arm and leg and he told them a tree in the back yard's roots were tangling in the plumbing and it needed to be removed.

"What? It's gonna cost that much?" Spike complained as he talked to the tree removal man on the phone. "Yes, I know. Thank you."

Buffy brought him a cup of coffee as she watched him hang up the phone, "It's going to be expensive to get rid of that tree, huh?"

"Yes, but if we don't take it out the roots will continue to play havoc with the plumbing. We'll just have to give in and have it removed." He sighed as he mentally figured how many hours he would have to work to pay the tree guy. He was in the wrong business he should have learned how to remove trees.

The next week the brakes went out on the Cherokee and the DeSoto had to have new tires. Spike was trying to figure out how to get some overtime when Buffy called him to come down in the basement, the flooded basement. The washing machine had leaked all over the basement floor. He helped her mop up the mess as he added the cost of a repairman or possibly a new machine to his list of growing expenses.

Buffy looked worriedly at the check book and at the expenditures. She could take a bit out of her school fund and add it to the checking account and it should help with some of the latest expenses. She mentioned the idea to Spike, who immediately dissagreed.

"You can't do that, Buffy. Joyce left that for your schooling."

"But we'll put it back when we have some extra." Buffy argued with him.

"What kind of husband can't take care of his wife. I'll see about some extra hours." He kissed her cheek and went to work trying to decide the best approach to his boss.

Mr. Grantham had been very kind to Spike, he was a friend of Giles and "William" had come highly recommended from him for the job. Spike smiled nervously as he explained the need for the extra hours.

Mr. Grantham sighed as he listend to the story, "I wish I could help, William. But the musuem has been slow lately thats why we've been sending people home. In fact I've taken position at a museum in LA. I was planning on making the announcement later today. The new director will be here next week, I'm not sure what his plans are. But, I'm afraid I can't help with your situation. I am sorry."

Spike stood and shook Mr. Grantham's hand, "I understand sir." He left the office and returned to his desk finishing his work her picked up the newspaper and began to circle want ads. He would just have to find a second job it couldn't be that hard. Before Xander settled into construction he had several jobs.

Spike stopped at the pizza place and picked up pizza for dinner. He also filled out an application for delivery driver while he was there.

"I'm home - with food!" He called out as he entered the house. "Canadian bacon with pineapple."

Dawn and Buffy hurried down the stairs, he held the pizza box in the air as they both hugged him, "Umm...what'the occasion?" Dawn asked as she inhaled the aroma of pizza.

"Just wanted to treat my girls." He smiled as they followed him to the kitchen."How was school today?" He directed the question to both sisters.

"Lots of history homework. Kevin asked me to the dance on Friday night.. Not much else." Dawn grinned excitedly at him while she grabbed a slice of pizza.

"Oh - I'll have to talk to him before you go." Spike waggled his eyebrow at her.

"Spike!" Dawn giggled.

He turned his attention to Buffy.

"Not much homework, and no one asked me to a dance." She gave him a pout as she took a bite of pizza.

He laughed out loud, "Poor girl. I'll dance with you... later." He gave her a suggestive wink over his pizza.

"Eww... " Dawn rolled her eyes at the pair, "Do you two ever quit?"

"Never." Spike laughed again as he took another slice of pizza.

After dinner, Spike helped Dawn with her homework while Buffy did a short patrol with Giles.

"So all is well at home?" He asked as they made their final sweep.

"Yes, except for the brakes went out on the car, the washing machine went out and we had to have a tree removed that was interfering with the plumbing." Buffy sighed as Giles dropped her off at her house.

"Oh my. Well is everything okay now?"

"Yes, except for Spike." Buffy signed again.

"Spike?" Giles asked apprehensively, "Is something wrong with him?"

"Well, no not really. He's just stressed over bills and stuff he wants to be the man of the house who takes care of us."

"Are you short of money?" Giles asked worry in his voice.

"Not really, we'll be fine." Buffy smiled at him as she unlocked the door.

"Well if you need me, you know where I am." He waved as he got in his car.

"Spike, I'm home." She called softly as she walked into the dark bedroom, "Are you ready for that dance?"

He came out of the bathroom in just his boxers and pulled her close to him, "Always ready to dance with you, luv."

She hugged him closer to her, enjoying the warmth of his body, his clean masculine scent. He kissed the top of her head and then gathered her into his arms carrying her to the bed. They danced and danced and danced well into the night before they fell into a comfortable sleep. * The rest of the week passed and nothing broke down! Spike had talked to the man at the Pizza Place and he was going to start delivering pizzas on his days off from the museum. It wasn't great pay but it was a little extra in the bank. Buffy had not been very happy about the situation. "When will I see you if you are working all the time?" She complained.

"It's just for a little while." He told her as he put on his "Pepe's Pizza" hat and started his first and last night of work. He learned several things that night, number one :college kids don't tip and often pay in change. He had lost his patience with the last one while waiting for him to count the last two dollars of the tab in pennies. "Forget it, take the pizza. I'll pay the two bucks!"

Number two: Dogs will bite. He had the bite marks on his ankle. "He's usually so friendly." The grandmotherly woman who answered the door apologized and then offered "He's had his shots."

He momentarily wished to have his fangs back for just long enough to scare the old woman and her little dog too.

Number three: You have to wear the hat. He'd taken it off when he hit the truck and forgotten to put it back on when he went back in the restarurant. He'd recieved several demerits by his name for that and ended the night by colorfully and going into graphic detail told the manager where he could put his hat.

Spike drove home thinking there had to be a better job out there for him. At least he didn't need a lot of hours the museum paid well.

Buffy and Dawn had a good laugh about his Pizza delivery man fiasco. Dawn left to spend the night with Melinda and Buffy took his mind off of the job by taking him upstairs and delivering him a "special " gift.

Monday morning found Spike and his fellow employees in a meeting with the new director of the museum. It did not go well, the new director wanted to open several new exhibits and it would take time to set them up. He wanted to cut the employees hours while the exhibits were being set up and if they brought in more visitors and such then they could slowly increase the hours again. Spikes sighed as he left the meeting, this just wouldnt' do. He found himself staring at the want ads again.

Buffy and Willow walked across the campus towards the library. "Whoa." Buffy stopped midstride and put her hand up to her head.

"You okay, Buffy?" Willow asked her friend.

"Just a little lightheaded." Buffy shook her head, "I'm okay now."

They walked into the library and found the correct row of books for their research, Buffy stood on tiptoe to get a book when she felt light headed again, she fell hard against the edge of the book shelf as she slid to the floor.

"Buffy, Buffy?" Willow was bent over her as a EMT took her pulse. The librarian had called an ambulance and they were loading her on a gurney.

"I'm okay, I don't need to go to the hospital." Buffy complained to the EMT.

"We're here and thats a nasty bruise on your forehead. Lets at least take a look at it." The EMT patted her shoulder.

"Buffy, it can't hurt. I'll call Spike and meet you there." Willow squeezed her hand as they started to place her in the ambulance.

"Mrs. Pennington, I think we need an xray of that head and some lab work?" The doctor smiled at her, "Is it possible that you could be preganant? We need to know before we do any xrays?"

"Umm... well I could be, I mean I've had sex." Buffy smiled at him uncomfortably.

"Well will do a serum pregnancy with the cbc just to be sure. Have you been feeling lightheaded for long?"

"No, just today." She frowned trying to remember the last time she had her period.

"Here comes the tech, she's going to draw your blood it won't take long for the test and then we'll see about the xray." He patted her arm as he left the cubicle.

Blood was drawn and Buffy closed her eyes waiting for Spike and Willow to arrive. A half hour later the Doctor entered the room, "Mrs. Pennington, I think we may know what part of your problem is." He grinned at her, "Your pregnancy test was positive."

Buffy opened her eyes very wide. "Positive? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm very sure. Is this a problem?" The doctor asked concerned.

"No, I mean. I don't know." She giggled out loud, "I'm going to have a baby."

"Yes you are. And I've decided against the xray, you seem to show no signs of concussion and I think the lightheadedness was from the heat and your pregnancy. I'll send instructions home for you husband to keep an eye on you and symptoms to look out for. You'll need to find a good OB doctor and make an appointement, we have a list we can give you. I'll be back in a moment." The doctor left Buffy sitting on the table grinning ear to ear. A baby.

Spike arrived at the hospital frantic, he saw Willow in the waiting room, "How is she? Where is she?"

"She's still back there. But hey theres the doctor." Willow pointed towards a man at the desk.

"Doctor! My wife, Buffy Pennington, how is she?' Spike asked anxiously.

"She's fine. She's in room 4 go on in. I'll be there momentarily." The doctor opened the door to the ER rooms for him.

He quickly found room four, "Buffy!" He called as he entered the small cubicle.

"Your here." She called to him from the bed. She was nervous and excited, what if Spike wasnt' happy about the baby. So much had been happening lately.

"Yes, what happened?" He asked as he gently touched her forehead.

"I passed out and hit my head in the library." She explained nervously.

"Do they know why you passed out?" He asked worry heavy in his voice.

"They think they do." She answered hesitantly.

Spike noticed her hesitation and it scared him, all he could think of was Joyce's illness. "What is it, Buffy?" His tone solemn.

"I'm... " She bit her tongue, "uh well you see I... "

"What, you can tell me?" He pleaded.

"I'm having a baby." She finally let the words out and gave him a shy smile.

He looked at her and shook his head slightly as if to make sure he had heard her correctly, "A baby?" He grinned.

She shook her head in affirmation.

His grin widened as he pulled her close against him, "A baby, we're having a baby?"

She pulled away from him and looked at his goofy grin, "Yeah we are."

Thier laughter filtered into the hallway, "I guess she told him." The doctor smiled as he entered the room. He handed a stack of papers to Spike, "These are instructions for your wife and a list of doctors for her."

Spike grinned at him, "We're having a baby."

"I heard, congratualations. Take care of her." The doctor shook his hand before he left the happy couple.

Spike helped Buffy down from the bed and gathered her things. He could not stop grinning at her, she felt equally giddy.

Willow looked relieved when she saw the two of them walking towards her. "So you're okay!" She nodded at the smiling couple.

"More then okay." Spike puffed up with pride. Buffy leaned her head on his shoulder holding tightly to his hand.

"I'm glad. Is there something you two need to tell me, you look like you are ready to burst." Willow asked with a smile.

"Well, yes we do have news." Spike looked at Buffy for permission to tell, she shook her head at him.

Willow watched the exchange curiously, "Well?"

"She, well we... are going to have a baby." He laughed softly at the look on Willow's face.

"For real?" Willow squealed as she pulled her friends into a group hug.

"For real." Buffy confirmed the news.

"That is so cool! A baby. Oh, I can be Aunt Willow, right?"

"Yes you can be Aunt Willow." Buffy laughed again.

"So when are you going to tell Giles?" Willow asked making a face.

"Now, we are going now. Buffy isn't going to patrol one night longer." Spike said seriously.

"Spike, I'm not sick, I'm pregnant." Buffy shook her head at him,

"No chances, we aren't taking any chances." He lay a protective hand over her still flat tummy.

"Okay, okay." She giggled at him, "I'm not sure how he is going to take this though."

"He doesn't have a choice does he?" Spike told her matter of factly.

"I think Giles will be okay with it." Willow smiled brightly, "It's going to be his first grandchild in a way."

"I hope he's not too upset." Buffy frowned slightly then looking at Spike made her grin all over again.

True to his word Spike drove Buffy straight to Giles on the way he convinced her that it wasn't going to be so hard to tell Giles, he was sure he would be okay with it. He wasnt' sure why but he just knew that Giles wouldnt' be upset.

Giles could hear the luaghter outside his door before the knock came. He stood at the sound and walked to the door. He answered the knocking to find Buffy and Spike standing outside holding each others hand tightly and giggling.

"Come in - and share this happy mood with me." He smiled as they sat down.

"We have news, we have news!" Buffy told him in a singsong voice.

"Okay - what is this news?" Giles grinned, her happiness seemed contagious.

She turned to Spike, "Do you want to tell him?"

"Nah, I told Will, you tell him." Spike took her hand in his.

"Giles - I'm pregnant! I know this throws a dent in slaying but I really am happy about it and I hope you will be too." She rushed the words out.

Giles smiled broadly - the baby was already coming. "Buffy don't worry I'll take care of things you just take care of yourself and the little one."

"You arent' upset." She asked a little surprised.

"No, I'm very happy for you and Spike." Giles reached over and patted her arm, "You needn't worry about anything."

"Okay then." Spike stood up, "We hate to rush off but Niblet will be home soon and we have to tell her the good news! We also have to get her packed for LA she is spending the summer with Hank as a peace offering."

"Very well then, congratulations to you both!" Giles walked the couple to the door. I did the right thing , they are happy and now, now a baby. He had a bounce in his step as he went back to the livingroom.

"Dawn!" Buffy called as she entered the house.

"I'm in here." Dawn called from the living room, "Where were you?"

"I was at the hospital." Buffy smiled at her sister as she sat down beside her.

"Are you okay?" Dawn asked her eyes round with worry.

"I'm great. Dawn, I'm having a baby." Buffy giggled softly.

"A baby!" Dawn threw her arms around her sisters neck. "This is great, I'm gonna be an aunt!"

"Hey, what about me, I helped in this project you know." Spike joined the girls on the couch.

Dawn turned to him and gave him a hug too, pulling back she frowned, "Hey I'm gonna miss a lot while I'm in LA."

"Nah, you'll be coming home when she's all big and round." Spike raised his eyebrows as Buffy punched his arm.

Dawn laughed at the thought, "Buffy big, this is gonna be great."

"Thanks you two." Buffy rolled her eyes at her husband and sister.

Buffy spent the rest of the evening on the phone telling everyone about the baby. Anya wanted to know intimate details that Buffy wasn't willing to share, Xander was dumbstruck, Cordy told her that she had some good diets for after the pregnancy and Angel... Angel was quiet for several moments before he offered his sincere congratulations.

"Are you sure it's okay for you to go in late today. I mean it's sweet for you to see Dawn off but she'll understand if you can't." Buffy told Spike as she made their bed up.

"No, it's okay. Umm... Buffy about my job." Spike sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah?"

"They are doing some work with new exhibits and they are cutting our hours while they work on them. I'm gonna go find another part time job." He ran his hand through his short hair.

"No, you don't need to do that. I'll get something. You know a partime job on non school days and evenings." Buffy leaned towards him resting her forehead against his, "Don't worry about it."

"No, you don't need to work." He kissed her cheek, "You have school and thats enough for now. No working."

"Uhh... I think I can make that decision, dear." Her words slightly agitated.

"Buffy, I want to support you and my child. Let's not argue about it, okay?"

"We won't argue now, but this isn't over." She smiled at him as they went to Dawn's room.

"Ready Niblet?" Spike asked as she picked up two suitcases from her bed.

"I guess. I hope this isn't going to be a disaster." She took a final look at her room and grabbed her purse.

"You'll be fine nd we'll talk alot on the phone." Buffy put her arm around Dawn's shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

"Okay, but I want you to call when you go to the doctors office."

"I will, I promise. Come on, dad will be here any minute." They made their way down the stairs.

Spike had just sat the luggage down when Hank knocked on the door.

Hank Summers had been trying to be a better father, he hoped this summer with Dawn would prove to bring them a bit closer. He hugged his younger daughter then grinned at his oldest child. "You're already glowing, Buffy. I can't believe I'm gonna be a grandpa!"

Buffy fixed a light brunch and then Hank left with Dawn in tow. Buffy sighed as she closed the door behind them, it was going to be quiet without Dawn around. But on the other hand it meant some quality alone time with her husband. As if he had read her thoughts Spike wrapped his arms around his wife and pulled her to him, nibbling on her neck. "Ummm.." She murmured as she lifted her face to him for a kiss.

He kissed her passionately and then pulled away, "Sorry, but I do have to go now. You have a good day at school." Buffy was taking some summer classes and she had been interuppted in the library yesterday when she passed out so she was going back today.

Willow and Tara met Buffy at the cafeteria for lunch. "Congratualations!" Tara smiled widely at Buffy.

"Thanks! It's kind of still a shock." Buffy grinned at her friends as they sat down for lunch.

"How did Dawn take the news?" Willow asked sipping her soda.

"She was excited, afraid she'll miss something while she's in LA. But Spike was kind of enough to point out that I would be really big when she got back." Buffy rolled her eyes but a happy smile escaped.

"Yeah, you will be." Willow shook her head in agreement with her friend.

"Thanks, Will."

"Anything to help." Willow smiled again at Buffy, "I mean that Buffy, anything I can do?"

"No, we'll be okay. Spike wants to get a second job but I think I should get a part time job instead."

"I think some places at the mall are hiring." Tara piped in, "I saw some signs when I was in there last week."

"I think I'll go look, Spike won't be happy though he has this whole 'I'm the man, I'll support us' attitude right now." Buffy sighed as she took a bite of her sandwich. "I'm sure he'll come around though."

"Yeah, he pretty much worships the ground you walk on." Willow sighed.

"Well no sir, I"ve never sold cars before, but I can be very convincing. I think I could do it." Spike sat across from Mr. Pinkley the owner of "Pinkley's Used Auto Sales"

"Well, I really need some help, I've got a big promotion coming up in about 8 weeks. I need help getting inventory ready and such." Mr. Pinkley stood and reached across his desk offering his hand to Spike, "I think I'll take a chance on you William."

"Thank you sir." Spike smiled as he shook the man's hand.

"Can you be here tomorrow morning?"

"Yes sir, I can be here." Spike sighed as he drove home, this meant more time away from Buffy - but there was so much that they had to do before the baby arrived. Baby, he still couldn't believe it, a baby.

"Buffy, I'm home." He called as he hung up his coat at the door.

"In here!"

He followed her voice and the smell of something delicious into the kitchen. He noticed candles and flowers on the dining table. "What's this?" He asked as he removed the lid from the pan on the stove.

"Noodles for stroganoff." Buffy answered as she stirred another pan.

"Oh, special dinner." He kissed her cheek as he hopped up on the island. "Can I help?"

'Salad stuff in the refrigerator." She smiled as she added the stroganoff mixture over the noodles.

Spike quickly threw a salad together and helped carry the food to the table. "This is good." He told her as she took his first bite.

"Thanks, I wanted to celebrate!"

"Last night wasn't celebration enought?" He grinned at her slyly.

"Last night was great, but I wanted to do something special for you."

"Just being you is special enough and now we're having a baby." He shook his head in amazement. "Oh, I"ve got news. I got a part time job selling used cars."

Buffy could not stifle her giggle, "You - selling cars?"

He arched his eyebrow at her, "I've been told I can be very convincing."

"Well you better not be trying any of those "convincing" moves on customers that you use on me." She laughed brightly and he had to join in.

"I"m going to check on a job at the mall tomorrow, since I don't have class."

"Buffy, you don't have to do that" Spike sighed as he took another bite.

"I know but I want to help out too."

"But I really dont' want you to work on top of school and being pregnant." Spike pleaded.

"We'll see." She smiled at him not wanting to ruin their dinner.

The next week was Buffy's first scheduled OB appointment. Spike took off long enough from work to go with her. He held her hand while they drew several tubes of blood and listened intently as the doctor told them what they should expect over the next several months. After a lot of thinking Buffy determined the approximate date of her last period and was told she was 8 weeks pregnant.

They went out to lunch before Spike returned to the car lot and Buffy took off for the mall.

Even as she filled out the application at Robinson's May she knew Spike would be unhappy about the job. She hated to keep things from him but if she could earn the money for some of the baby things it would take some of the pressure off of him. So if need be she would work without his knowledge for a little while.

The woman behind the counter was very friendly as she talked to Buffy about the parttime position. She made Buffy feel she had a good chance at the job so she wasn't surprised when she got the call later that day - she could start the next evening. That worked out well because Spike worked late on Tuesdays at the car lot and she wouldn't have to do a lot of explaining. She felt a little guilty about the deception but kept telling herself it was for a good cause.

Spike came home late that night to find Buffy sleeping on the couch he kissed her temple and pushed the hair from her face as he went to the kitchen. As he started towards the kitchen he leaned up against the door frame - another sense of deja vu hit him. He had to catch his breath when he felt Buffy come up behind him and place her arms around his waist, "How is "daddy" feeling tonight?" She asked softly.It scared him because he knew what she was going to say before the words were out of her mouth. He turned to her and smiled trying to hide his fear, "Just fine, how is mommy?"

"I'm good, just tired. They kept you late tonight." She commented as she poured a glass of milk, "Want some?" She asked he shook his head and she pulled out another glass for him. "There's leftovers in here too." She told him as she replaced the milk carton.

"That sounds good. You sit and I'll get them." He pulled out a stood for her and went to the refrigerator. He was still a bit shaky from the eerie feeling he had just experienced, "Yeah, we are really busy getting ready for that sale."

"It's okay. Do you think you'll be late tomorrow?" She asked drinking her milk.

"Yes, I know I will, why? Do you need me here?" He asked full of concern.

"I just didn't want tyou to worry if you called and I wasn't here. I might go out and look at some baby stuff tomorrow." She explained as she placed her empty glass in the sink.

"Oh, okay. I won't worry then. Why don't you go on up. You look tired. I'll finish eating and be up in a few minutes." He kissed her nose and helped her off the stool.

"Okay. I love you." She smiled at him as she started out of the kitchen.

"I love you too." He called behind her.

He finished his supper and put his dirty dishes in the sink. He still felt funny about the deja vu with Buffy earlier. Maybe he would talk to Giles again.

Buffy settled under the covers and closed her eyes she felt exhausted and she wasn't even very far along yet - she wondered what it would be like later. Spike joined her shortly pulling her close to him and spooning next to her, he kissed her hair and told her good night.

Buffy was asleep in moments. Spike smiled at her for a moment before closing his eyes and joining her in sleep. Unfortunatley his sleep was not so peaceful.

It was the final fight with Glory all over again, but this time it was different. For some reason Doc had made it to the platform and Spike was trying his best to keep him from Niblet. He saw the terror in her eyes as Doc threw him over the side. He could feel every bone break as he slammed into the ground. He found his bearings and began to painfully stand, thats when he saw her... Buffy on the ground, Buffy lifeless on a pile of rubble. He sank back down as the utter despair took over him, great wrenching sobs forced from his body. NO! NO!

"No! No!" Spike shouted as he came awake. He sat up in the bed immediatedly feeling the spot next to him, she was there, she was okay and she was now sitting up too.

Buffy lay her hand on his cheek, "Are you okay? Bad nightmare?" She questioned him worriedly.

"Bad nightmare." He told her as he took her hand in his.

"Want to tell me what it was about?" She asked giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I don't really remember." He told her as he tried to shake the dreams terrible images from his mind. He would make time to see Giles tomorrow!

He was still trembling when Buffy lie him down and spooned next to him gently running her hand up and down his arm until he finally fell asleep.

The sun peeped through the crack between the curtains into Buffy and Spikes bedroom, Spike opened his eyes and squinted feeling next to him for Buffy. When he felt only sheet he turned over, "Buffy," he called out. After the nightmare last night he wanted to see her now. There was no answer, he got out of the bed quickly, "Buffy!" He called again this time panic in his voice.

"I’m in here." Came a small voice from the bathroom.

He rushed to the voice and was shocked to see her over the toilet, her face pale. "Aww.. Buffy. You should have woke me." He spoke soothingly as he wet a washcloth and wiped her face for her. "Morning sickness?" He asked with a sympathetic smile.

"I think so." She grimaced as she stood up.

"Why didn’t you wake me?" He asked wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. He could not, he would not lose her. He was going to see Giles today.

"That nightmare must have been something , you tossed and turned all night. I wanted to let you sleep." She sighed as she hung the washcloth across the towel rack.

"Oh, that. I’m okay, Pet. No reason for you to worry." He followed her back into the bedroom and sat on the foot of the bed watching as she picked out her clothes for the day.

She was wearing jeans and a simple tee but she looked wonderful. Spike tried to imagine how she was going to look when she started showing, his mind flashed suddenly to a vision of Buffy in the backyard very preganant and bringing him a glass of water. He gasped at the memory of the dream. As soon as Buffy left for school he was going to Giles.

Buffy mentally picked out an outfit to wear to work that evening. Spike didn’t go in to work at the car lot until two o’clock. She would come home from school and change clothes in time to be at the store by three. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice how anxious Spike looked when she kissed him goodbye and left for school.

Spike burst into The Magic Shoppe past several customers. "Anya, where is Giles?" He called before he got to the counter.

"He’s in the back room going over some of the inventory." Anya frowned at him, "Is there something wrong? Because he needs to get that work done."

"I just need to talk to him." Spike frowned as she pushed open the door to the back room.

Giles was sitting on the couch a cup of tea in one hand and a stack of papers in the other. He looked up in surprise when Spike entered the room. "Spike, are you okay?" He asked as he took a good look at the blond, he appeared to be shaken up about something as he fumbled for a cigarette. "You’re smoking again? Does Buffy know this?"

"I’ve got worse troubles then Buffy knowing I’m smoking again, Giles." Spike sat down on the couch beside Giles.

"Whats... whats wrong?" Giles asked a bit nervously.

"The dreams, the visions, deja vu, whatever you want to call it! They are getting worse, Giles!" Spike paused for a moment and then continued, "Glory can never come back right?"

Giles frowned, "No, Spike. She’s gone for good. Why do you ask?"

"These stupid things from the future have been happening and last night I had a nighmare. Glory was in it." Spike gulped in air and took another drag from his cigarette.

"What happened in the dream, Spike?" Giles asked cautiously.

"I’ll tell you what happened! Buffy died! We didn’t get to Niblet in time, Buffy jumped from the tower. She was on the ground, Giles she was sprawled across the rubble and she... " Tears rolled down Spike’s face and then his voice lowered to an almost whisper, "She was dead."

"Spike it was a nightmare.." Giles started but was soon interrupted by Spike.

"My other dreams have been coming true, Giles. What if there is some way, what if Glory comes back and this time Buffy doesnt’ make it?" Spike stood and began to pace around the room. "I couldn’t take that, I can’t lose her and the baby."

"Spike, I’m sure it’s nothing." Giles stood and placed an a hand on Spike’s arm.

"DO NOT tell me it’s nothing! Can you prove that? Can you positively tell me thats not in the future?" Spike’s voice rose with his fear.

Giles took a deep breath, what to do? He decided to tell Spike the truth it was too cruel to let him have to even consider Buffy’s death. "Spike, sit down."

Spike followed Giles back to the couch and both men sat down. Giles sighed and began to speak, "This isn’t going to be easy." He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"What’s not going to be easy?" Spike asked warily.

"Spike, you weren’t seeing the future in that nightmare," Giles began in a calm voice, "You were seeing the past."

"What?" The blond man was confused and it showed on his face.

"Spike, Buffy did die." Giles continued speaking calmly and explained the whole story to a shocked and silent Spike.

After several moments of silence Spike closed his eyes tightly then opened them again, "So you are telling me this is all make believe? You mojo’d our marriage? Buffy didn’t make the choice to marry me... the baby?" He buried his face in his hands.

"Spike, I did it to make this all easier for everyone." Giles tried to explain.

"Easier? My wife is living a lie - we both are - you didn’t let her choose, Rupert!" The sheer look of misery on Spike’s face caused Giles to wince.

"Spike, she loves you! It was going to happen! No spell could put that look in her eyes when she looks at you. When she thinks I’m not looking she’ll glance at you with such sincere love - she loves you!"

"We can’t be sure of that." Spike stood and started towards the door.

"What are you going to do? You can’t tell her." Giles called after him.

"I can."

"She’s carrying a baby now, Spike. Do you want to risk the health of your child?" Giles knew it was low bringing up the baby but he was desperate.

"That’s not fair is it, Giles? You know I love Buffy and the baby." Spike stopped in the doorway and fumbled for another cigarette. "I guess nothing is fair about this situation, but don’t worry I won’t tell Buffy." He walked through the door and under his breath added very softly, "Yet."

Giles slumped to the couch with relief. He had to make Spike see that this was real.

Spike spent the rest of the morning sulking around the house. He finally left for work early, maybe he could get in a couple of extra hours.

Buffy changed into her work clothes and drove to the mall. She took a deep breath and entered the store. Her manager met her smiling and she was soon learning the ins and outs of working in the Misses section of the department store. Her six hours of training passed quickly and she was surprised how tired she was when she made it home.

Taking off her shoes at the door she made her way to the kitchen and heated up some leftovers for her supper. She carried a large glass of milk into the living room and turned on the tv waiting for Spike to come home. He walked through the door at ten o’clock. "Hey." She called from the living room, "You hungry? I can heat up some leftover spaghetti for you."

"No, I grabbed a bite at work." Spike told her as he hung his jacket up. "How was your day?"

"Fine. Oh I wanted to remind you my next about my doctors appointment - it’s in two weeks put it on your calender." She grinned at him as she took his hand and pulled him to sit beside her. "You said you wanted to go."

Spike smiled at her and ran the back of his hand down the side of her face, " I’ll remember." He said softly. He silently wished there were some things he could forget, it must be nice for Buffy to not know about this whole farce they were living.

"Are you okay? You seem down." Buffy asked as she snuggled against him.

"I’m fine. Just tired." He covered.

As if on cue Buffy yawned, "Me too." She stood, "You coming?" She reached for him.

"Yeah, lets go up." He took her hand and let her lead him to the bedroom.

Once there he watched her change into the nightgown and caught her staring at her tummy in the full length mirror. If you looked close enough you could see a very small bulge. She placed her hand there for a moment before she slipped into the bed next to him.

She lay her head on his chest and absentmindedly drew circles on his abdomen with her finger. "I love you." She murmured as she lifted her head and kissed his lips gently but firmly.

He would never tire of hearing those words, but now he had to wonder how much truth was in them. "Do you?" He asked before he could stop himself.

She sat up then, her pretty face marred by confusion, "Yes, I love you. Why would you ask that?"

He could see the hurt on her face and he wanted to make it right, he guided her head back to pillow on his chest and stroked her hair. "I’m sorry, Luv. I know you love me. I love you too. Just been a long day."

"It’s okay. I had a long day too. Goodnight." She said as she closed her eyes and he pulled her tighter against him, kissing the top of her head.

The next couple of weeks passed quickly because Buffy and Spike were both busy. Spike at two jobs and Buffy with school and her secret job. Spike was trying to be there for her but the stress of the jobs and the stress of keeping Giles secret were wearing . He and Buffy went to her next appointement together. She was twelve weeks along now and she was still doing well. A little bit of morning sickness but nothing she couldn't handle. Spike thought she looked tired but the doctor had said that was normal. Spike couldn't help but think about Giles spell everytime he looked at her. He loved her he couldn't deny it and the baby meant the world to him but it still nagged at him that he would never know for sure if Buffy would have married him if nature had taken its course.

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