"For Her"
Author:
A. Price
Email: andramichelle@yahoo.com
Buffy pulled away from Spike and faced Brenna who was now pointing at Buffy and Spike as Tierney came to stand beside her. Tierney was grinning now, "Kiss?"
Brenna nodded her head enthusiastically, "Brenna, you are so silly, come here you two." She knelt down on the floor and held her arms out for the girls to come give her a hug.
"Mr. Spike kissed you, mommy." Brenna mumbled from her place pressed against her moms shoulder peeking at Spike standing close by, she grinned at him.
"Yes, he did." Buffy pulled the little girl back a bit and looked in her eyes, "Is that okay?"
"Uh huh!" Brenna nodded.
"And you, sweet bit?" Spike asked Tierney as he knelt beside them.
"Um huh." Tierney grinned as she wrapped chubby arms around his neck.
"Then it's settled." He smiled and winked at Buffy.
"Well, at least part of it." Buffy grinned back, "Now, I guess we should all go finish supper."
Brenna took one of her mom's hand and Tierney took the other. As Spike walked behind them he was glad that unlike Angel his soul was anchored, because as Brenna looked over her shoulder at him and offered her free hand, he was sure that classified as a moment of true happiness. He grasped her small hand in his and walked to the kitchen.
"Here is a salad for mommy." Spike took the grilled chicken salad from the bag," and a burger for me."
"Come on girls, you need to finish your food." Buffy encouraged them as she sat down next to Spike and began to eat her salad.
"Finish it all and we'll read a book before I have to go."
"Goodie!" The girls called out and began to finish their meals.
Spike watched them with a smile on his face, he'd never thought much about children, but these two had certainly claimed his heart already. He glanced at Buffy who was watching him interact with the girls and grinning, that had to be a good sign.
"Okay, I'll clean this up and you can go listen to a story." Buffy told them as she began to clear the table.
Spike and the girls headed into the livingroom where they chose a book, Buffy could hear his comforting voice in the kitchen and it made her feel safe and warm. Sure she had to hit the streets tomorrow for a job search, but now listening to Spike reading a Winnie the Pooh book and her girls sweet giggles was enough to make her happier then she had been in a long while.
"The End." Spike's words signaled the end of the book.
"Now it's time for little girls to go get ready for a bath." Buffy called from the kitchen doorway where she was leaning watching them.
"Mommy!" Brenna whined.
"Brennnnnnnnaaa" Buffy whined back at her, "go and get your jammies laid out and I'll be in to run your bathwater in a few minutes."
"Okay, bye Mr. Spike." Brenna called to him as she left the room.
"Bye, Mr. Spike." Tierney copied her sister as she followed her down the hallway.
"I think that's my cue to leave." He stood and reached for his coat.
"I better get some sleep tonight, it's job hunting Buffy tomorrow. At least I'm paid till tomorow on daycare." She sighed and suddenly leaned into his chest resting her head there.
He was happily surprised at her action and promptly began to run his hand over her hair, "I'm sorry about that."
"It really wasn't your fault, I would have hit him anyway." She giggled softly against him and it sent a shiver through him.
"I better go." He pulled away from her and grinned, "Can Mr. Spike kiss mommy again?"
"He better." She returned his grin before he leaned towards her and this time lips parted, and they explored each other as if it was the first time, yet something so familiar brought back a flood of passionate memories for both.
Buffy finally pulled away to breathe, "Wow!"
"Yeah, wow!" He agreed, "Now, I'm leaving or I'll never go."
"Come by tomorrow night and I'll let you know how the job hunting went." She walked him to the door her hand clasping his hesitant to let go of him.
"See you then, good luck. I'm going to start looking for a place tonight."
"That sounds good." She let go of his hand, "Talk to you soon."
He leaned over and kissed her forehead, "Goodnight."
She stood at the door and watched him leave. Her silent reverie was interrupted by the sound of bathwater running. She ran down the hallway and found the girls in the bathroom. "Let me adjust that water for you, you could get burned." She scolded them.
"Like mommy?" Brenna asked as she pulled the bubble bath from under the sink.
"Like mommy." Buffy looked down at the faint white burn scars on her hand, another memory from long ago, "Now lets get you two in the tub."
Morning came bright and early, Buffy hit the off button on the alarm and lay in the bed for a few moments. She was going to drop the girls at daycare and start combing the want ads for a job. She sighed as she went to shower, job hunting was never fun.
"Jan, today will probably be the girls last day for awhile, I...I kind of lost my job, so I'm looking for a new one today." Buffy explained as she handed the girls backpacks to the daycare owner.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Buffy. It's none of my business but did Jim Brannon try anything with you?" Jan asked a frown on her face.
Buffy flushed slightly and nodded in affirmation.
"I don't know how you lasted that long with him, he has a terrible reputation." Jan smiled at Buffy, "But his loss may be my gain."
Buffy looked confused, "Pardon?"
"Lydia who runs the office for the daycare is moving at the end of next week, so I have a secretarial position open." The older woman smiled.
"Really? I'd love that!" Buffy grinned.
"I don't think I can pay as much as Brannon did, but, there are some perks to working here, for instance, your children's daycare is free." Jan led Buffy into a small office.
"That would be wonderful, Jan." Buffy fought back a tear, maybe things were going to be better.
"This is Lydia and she'll start training you on Monday if that's okay?" Jan gestured towards a pretty girl sitting at the desk.
"I'd be happy to train you." Lydia smiled.
"Let's get some details worked out and then I'll see you Monday." Jan offered Buffy a chair.
Buffy left the daycare feeling lighter, she had a job and she could be near her children. What could be more perfect? She wanted to share her good news and even though it was still early she found herself on the road to the hotel where Spike was staying. She parked in front of the hotel hesitating for a few moments before getting out the car and walking to his room.
Spike was startled from his sleep by a soft knocking on his room door, pushing the covers aside he called out sleepily, "Be right there." He pulled on a pair of sweat pants and went to the door he opened it cautiously, "Buffy?" He opened the door a bit wider and let her in.
"Sorry to wake you." She suddenly felt quite shy as she stared at his bare chest, "I should go, let you rest."
"No, I needed to get up anyway. I found some apartments to look at in the paper last night, need to call to make some appointments for tonight. Is everything okay? The girls?" He asked concern heavy in his voice.
"The girls are good, I'm good, in fact I have good news. I've already found a job!"
"Tell me all about it, sit." He patted the bed beside him.
She sat down and excitedly explained about the job. He listened to her every word smiling at ther excitement, "That's perfect for you."
"Yes, it is. I just feel so good, like everything is going right for a change." She took his hand in hers, "Thank you."
"Me? You did this on your own." He rubbed his thumb across her knuckle staring at her beautiful, scarred hand. Scarred hand? "Buffy, how, when did this happen?" He held her hand up looking at the pale scars.
"That night, Spike. When I took your hand in mine, funny I saw the flames, but I didn't feel them. I didn't even realize I was burned till hours later." She gave him a half smile.
"I guess we both have scars from that night," He held out his own hand for her.
Buffy took a closer look at his hand, it held pale scars matching her own, "You kept the scars even after you came back?"
"Yeah, the one above my eye and these on my hand." He shrugged,"don't know why."
"I kept wanting to believe that you survived somehow, I missed you for so long." She leaned back against the headboard.
"I missed you too, all these years, I thought about you everyday." He stretched out on the bed beside her tilting his head so that it touched hers ever so lightly. He reached for her scarred hand and held it tightly in his own. "You said something to me yesterday about not picking at old wounds. Do you really think we can do that?" He brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss in her palm.
"Honestly I don't know... " She squeezed his hand, "I do know that I want to try though. Are you sure you're ready to take on the girls? I'm a package deal now you know."
"Terrifies me , but that's nothing new." He smiled as he put his hand to her cheek, "But it's going to be worth it."
"So I still have the ability to terrify you, that's something." She leaned over and placed a light kiss on his lips.
The kiss grew in it's intensity within minutes, as hands roamed freely, small sighs escaped from them both as they lost themself in the moment. Spike sighed loudly and pulled away suddenly.
"What?" Buffy asked worry shone in her face.
"As much as I would love to finish this," he raised his eyebrow at her meaningfully, "I... I want to to do this properly, no rushing just like you said last night. We know we're good at this part of a relationship, lets give ourselves time to get good at the other parts." He held his non breath waiting for her reply.
She smiled the sweetest smile then, "You mean that don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. Gonna do it right this time." He disentangled himself from her and stood up.
"Thank you...for caring so much." She kissed his cheek, " I noticed that the fair is starting tonight, would you like to go with the girls and I. It's not much of a date but... it could be fun." She stood up and reached for her purse.
"I'd love that, I'll come by at dark." He walked her to the door, kissing her briefly before closing it behind her. A smile lit his face.
Spike spent the afternoon on the phone with realtors and apartment managers, he had found two places close to Buffy and had appointments the next evening to see them. He had also circled another listing in the paper, a four bedroom with a large yard, he knew they were taking it slow, but as soon as he had seen the ad he knew he had to at least see it.
Buffy went home to make some phone calls, first to Dawn who was very excited to hear that she was giving Spike a chance. The second was a call she dreaded to make but she had to have some answers from him, she dialed Gile's number nervously. After three rings his machine picked up, she left him a message, "Giles, this is Buffy. I need to talk to you. I'll call back tomorrow."
She picked the girls up from daycare and let them in on the plans for the fair. They giggled with excitement all the way home. "Let's have a quick supper and then you can have dessert at the fair!"
"What kind of dessert?" Brenna asked as she finished her sandwich and milk.
"Candied apples, cotton candy, funnel cake or kettle corn. Lots of good stuff." Buffy answered as she cleaned up Tierney's face.
"Tierney let's go change your clothes you have kool aid on your shirt." Buffy led the little girl out of the kitchen in time to get the door.
"Are we ready for the fair?" Spike asked as he entered the house.
"Yep!" Tierney grinned at him, "Candy apples."
Brenna came into the living room chanting, "We're going to the fair!"
"I told them they could have dessert at the fair." Buffy explained as she took Tierney's hand, "I've got to go change her shirt before we go, I'll be right back."
Brenna sat beside Spike on the couch, "Have you been to a fair before?"
"Yes, I've been to lots of fairs. Have you been to a fair before?"
"I don't 'member, maybe when I was little." Brenna told him with a grin.
"Oh, that long ago, huh?" He laughed softly.
Brenna nodded her head and smiled, "Mommy says it's lots of fun."
The phone rang and Buffy called from the bedroom, "Spike, could you please get that?"
"Sure." He called back as he picked up the phone, "Hello."
There was no answer on the other end, "Hello." Spike repeated.
"With whom am I speaking?" The caller asked.
"Who do you think it is, Rupert?" Spike answered with a smirk.
"It can't be who I think it is, he's dead...has been for years." Giles sighed loudly into the phone.
"Funny thing about that." Spike began to speak but was soon interrupted by Buffy returning to the room.
"Who is it?" She asked as she sat Tierney on the couch and began to change her shoes.
"Giles." He handed her the phone and took over shoe duty.
"Giles, this is Buffy."
"Buffy, was that really Spike? Is that why you needed to talk to me? How..when..how is he there?" Giles strung the questions together.
"Yes it's Spike. He really is here, and yes, that's partly why I needed to talk to you. But mainly I wanted to know why you've been lying to Angel all these years. You let him believe that David was still alive, that we were living happily ever after. Why, Giles?" Buffy's voice broke softly.
"It was for you, dear. As long as Angel thought you were happy, he stayed away, if he had known that you were widowed he would have felt like he had to come and help you. You don't need Angel in your life again and you most definitely don't need Spike in it! Have you learned nothing, Buffy?" Giles sighed again and reached for his glasses.
Buffy could almost hear him cleaning his glasses, "So it was you trying to teach me another lesson, like when you and Wood set up Spike to kill him for my own good? I believe that was before he sacrificed himself to save us all, wasn't it?"
"Buffy, I do realize that he did sacrifice himself, but that does not mean he is any better for you now than he was then. I realize you have a soft spot for him but really you have the girls to think about now." Giles tried to reason with her.
"The girls already love him, he reads to them and really listens when they talk to him. This is my decision to make, Giles. I can't talk to you now, I'm taking the girls to the fair."
"With Spike?" Giles asked dissproval in his voice.
"Yes, with Spike. I'll talk to you later." She hung up the phone and swallowed the lump in her throat. Why couldn't he understand?
Spike placed his hand on Buffy's shoulder as she hung up the phone, "You okay, luv?"
"No, but I will be." Buffy tried to smile, "I'll sort it out with him later, now...now we have a fair to go to."
"You sure?" He asked as Tierney lifted her arms up to him to be picked up.
"Very." She took Brenna's hand in hers and they went to the car.
The Fair was bustling with people and activity when they arrived. The girls eyes grew wide at the sight of the rides and the sound of the fair workers voices as they called out to come play their games of chance. Giant stuffed animals hung from rope strung around the booths. The wonderful scent of Fair food hung heavy in the air.
The Merry Go Round seemed to jump out at them as they turned a corner, Brenna pointed at it excitedly, "Look at the horses!"
Buffy grinned, "Let's get some tickets and we'll ride it."
"You want to ride that one, too?" Spike asked Tierney from her perch in his arms, she nodded her head enthusiastically. He pulled out his wallet and handed several bills to Buffy, "Get lots of tickets!" He grinned.
Buffy grinned back, "Thanks." She went to the small booth and was soon back with a handful of tickets.
They went to stand in the short line at the Merry Go Round, Brenna bounced up and down excitedly, "I want to ride the white horse." She watched as a white horse with purple and pink flowers in it's mane passed round and round in front of them.
"Alright, we'll try to get that one just for you." Buffy smiled brightly, the earlier conversation with Giles forgotten for the moment.
The ride stopped and the group handed their tickets to the man and began to board the ride, Buffy helped Brenna on to her horse and took the one beside it. Spike climbed on a larger black horse behind them, Tierney firmly placed in front of him, she held on tightly to the pole in front of her.
The music started and the horses began to move up and down, round and round. Spike frowned at the choice of music, this was Tennessee though, there was going to be country music at a fair. As he watched Buffy and Brenna giggling in front of him and Tierney laughing happily as she leaned back against him, he listened to the words...
I will give you my heart
Faithful and true
And all the love it can hold
That's all I can do
But I've thought about
How long I'll love you
And it's only fair that you know
Forever's as far as I'll go.
Not a bad thought he nodded to himself as Buffty turned around and flashed him a smile. Not a bad thought at all.
The ride began to slow down and the music stoppped. Spike climbed down from his horse with Tierney in tow. Buffy helped Brenna off of her horse and they went in search of another ride. Brightly painted lady bugs going in circles weren't too far away and they found themselves standing in line there too, Tierney backed off of this ride though. So they watched as Brenna giggled her way through the ride waving each time she passed them.
They made their way through the kiddie rides and were soon at the Ferris Wheel, Buffy begged off saying she would just hold Tierney if Spike and Brenna wanted to go on this one. Brenna looked a the tall wheel and hesitated for a moment before grabbing Spike's hand, "I want to ride it."
"Okay, lamb. Let's get in line." He pulled more tickets from his pocket and handed them to the man running the ride. He settled her into the seat beside him, making sure she was secure. The ride started slowly as they began to load each seat, the higher they went up the quieter Brenna became.
"You okay, Brenna?" Spike asked noticing how still and quiet she had become.
"It's high up." She told him, her eyes wide as saucers.
"Yes, it is, but I'm right here with you." He took her small hand in his, "I'll take care of you."
"Okay." She held his hand tightly and managed a small smile.
After the first rotation she seemed to relax a bit and even waved at Buffy and Tierney on the ground below. But Spike could see she was releived when the ride was over. "Let's take a break from the rides and we'll go get something to eat, okay?"
"Sounds good to me, those candied apples are calling my name." Buffy walked towards the snack wagon.
"I want that." Tierney pointed towards the pink and blue cotton candy.
"Me too!" Brenna chimed in.
"Look they even have blooming onions!" Spike exclaimed as Buffy placed their order.
They found a picnic table and sat down to eat thier goodies. Happiness seemed to just roll of of them and Buffy couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun. That's when she saw her coming towards them smiling that cold polite smile. "Buffy." The familiar voice made her cringe.
"Hello, Deanna." Buffy managed a smile.
"Well look at you and the girls and," Deanna turned to Spike, "a new man. Well I guess it has been a while since my brother died."
"A little over two years, Deanna. " Buffy replied cooly.
"Yes, I've meant to call. But...you know how busy things can get. Jay and I brought the children to the fair tonight, you wouldn't recognize them they've grown so. Speaking of, Brenna do you remember me, I'm your Aunt Deanna."
Brenna shook her head, "No."
"Deanna she was only two the last time you saw her at David's funeral."
"And this must be Terry." Deanna turned to Tierney.
"Tierney, her name is Tierney." Spike shook his head with disgust at the woman.
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry. And you are?" She politely offered her hand to Spike.
He ignored the hand, "I'm William."
"He's mommy's friend." Brenna added helpfully.
"Oh, I bet he is." Deanna raised her eyebrow at Buffy.
"It was very nice to see you Deanna, but we promised the girls we'd try to win prizes so we need to go now." Buffy stood up from the table and picked up Tierney.
"Nice to see you too, have fun." The other woman added in voice full of false sweetness before walking off.
"She was a breath of foul air if I've ever seen one, that was your husband's sister?" Spike asked as they walked towards the game alley.
"Yes, his only family left. She never really liked me, thought I had a deep dark past." She sighed, "She'd throw a hissy fit, if she only knew how right she was."
"But her brother loved you despite it all, right?" Spike stopped walking and adjusted Brenna in his arms. He couldn't imagine Buffy losing her husband and his only living family left could be that vile, his poor girl, she had really been through the wringer.
"Yes, he did." Buffy smiled at the thought, "He used to say that Deanna must have been adopted."
"He's probably right." Spike told her as he stopped in front of a game stall, "This look okay, Brenna?" He asked as he put her down.
"I want that one!" She pointed at a large purple version of Mr. Gordo.
Spike accurately threw each soft ball into the large milk can, the man working the booth looked surprised as he handed Brenna the large purple pig. Tierney then picked out a blue teddy bear and giggled happily when Spike handed it to her. "You want something, luv?" He asked Buffy feeling quite confident.
"No, thanks." Buffy smiled back at him. The vendor looked relieved when they walked away from his booth.
Tierney held tightly to the blue bear as she rested her head on Buffy's shoulder. "I think someone is getting sleepy. Maybe it's time to go home?"
"Yeah, I think you're right." Spike answered as he watched Brenna yawn and lean her head against his chest. "It's been fun though, right girls?"
"Lots of fun." Brenna mumbled against his chest.
"Fun." Tierney replied with a sleepy smile.
"I think everyone had a good time." Buffy leaned against Spike and he put his free arm around her as they walked to the car. To anyone watching they appeared to be a sweet little family, Buffy smiled at the thought.
Giles hung up the phone and frowned and cursed and paced his living room before picking up the phone and calling Angel.
"Hello!" Angel answered on the first ring.
"Angel, how could you not let me know that Spike was back from the dead or undead so to speak?" Giles accused angrily.
"The same way you didn't bother to tell me that Buffy's husband was dead, that she was alone and struggling the last couple years. How could you do that Giles?" Angels voice was as anger filled as Giles.
"I suppose I deserve that." Giles sighed into the phone, "My only excuse is I thought it was what was best for Buffy."
"I didn't tell about Spike because he asked me not too... at the time he thought it was what was best for Buffy." Angel replied with his own deep sigh.
"This can't end well, you know that." Giles tone was weak, he knew he'd lost this battle.
"Maybe not, but I think... I think this time maybe we all need to stand back and let Buffy finally get to decide what's best for her. Over the years..we...all of the men in her life have done things we thought were best for her and sometimes she suffered more for our decisions than she would have if we had maybe let her decide?" Angel's tone was thoughtful.
"Perhaps you're right. I...I tend to want to keep her away from anything that might hurt her, she's had far too much pain in her life. I suppose my judgement is sometimes clouded by personal feelings about certain individuals in Buffy's life." Giles conceded.
"I've talked to Spike, he is finding a place in Tennessee, he's going to do his best to make sure she's happy, Giles. He's not my first choice, but he is Buffy's choice... " Angel's voice was soft, "We've always thought we knew best... but maybe this time she does."
"Maybe, I suppose I owe her an apology." Giles shifted in his chair and sighed, "I will call her tomorrow, and if she'll listen to me..I'll apologize."
"She'll listen, she can be stubborn but she has an amazing ability to forgive." Angel smiled into the phone.
"I suppose she does." Giles agreed as he hung up the phone. He poured himself a drink and remembered the last time she had forgiven her, he'd basically betrayed her and put her out of her own home and yet she had forgiven him that, so maybe this would be okay too.
"I'll help you get them to their room." Spike whispered as he carried a sleeping Tierney and Buffy carried a snoring Brenna to the bedroom.
He watched as Buffy pulled back the covers on the bed and removed Brenna's shoes, he followed suit and pulled back Tierney's blankets, lie her down and removed her shoes too. Buffy dug around and brought back two nightgowns handing the smaller one to him. She gently removed Brenna's shorts and top and put the nightgown on without even briefly waking her. Tierney opened one eye and frowned at him as he tried to put her arm through her shirt, "Let's get your jammies on." Buffy told her as she watched Spike's struggle. The little girl helped him a bit and held her arms up for the nightgown.
"Night, night." She yawned as she snuggled next to the large blue teddy bear already almost asleep again.
"Night, night." Buffy and Spike replied in unison. Buffy turned out the light and they left the sleeping girls.
"Would you like something to drink? I don't have anything stronger then iced tea," She teased as she walked into the kitchen.
"I'm okay, but you go ahead." He sat down at the table while she poured herself a glass of tea and then sat down across from him.
"Thanks for going with us. The girls had a great time." Buffy sipped her tea, "I had a great time."
"Thank you for asking me to go. I had a great time too... in fact, " He reached his hand across the table and covered hers, "I would say it was the second best night of my life." Bright blue eyes met hazel as they both remembered what he had called "the best night of my life."
Buffy almost blushed, "And you're still terrified, right?"
"Not so much now." He tightened his grip on her hand never letting go as he stood up and walked around the table to where she sat. He leaned over and kissed her ever so slightly on the lips, she tasted like peach iced tea and he licked his lips when he pulled back from the kiss.
Buffy watched his tongue and suddenly it was very hot in the kitchen and her iced tea wasn't helping a bit. She stood then and wrapped her arms around his neck leaning her face up towards his for another kiss, this one not quite so gentle. They stood in the kitchen wrapped around each other, lost in the kiss. Buffy broke away for a moment and took his hand silently leading him out of the kitchen and through the livingroom towards the hallway. His eyes met hers in a silent question , she only nodded and smiled at him. He kissed her halfway down the hallway to her bedroom.
The loud ring of the phone shocked both of them back to the present, "Should you get that?" Spike asked as the phone rang shrilly once again.
"It's probably Giles trying to make nice. Let him stew a little while. The machine will pick it up." Buffy grinned at him raising her eyebrows at him, "Unless you'd rather listen to me talk to Giles."
"The machine can get it." He answered quickly scooping her into his arms and carrying her into the bedroom.
"Buffy, this is Dawn. Please pick up if you're there." The familiar voice came through onto the machine.
"You better get it, luv." Spike told her he sat her down on the bed.
"I guess so." Buffy sighed as she picked up the phone, "Yes, Dawn, I'm here. But this better be important!"
"It is important." Dawn replied, after a moment something occured to her, "Buffy, why did this need to be important? Am I interrupting something? It's late and I know the girls are asleep, so hmmmm... what could you be doing? You aren't alone are you?" Dawn giggled into the phone.
Buffy couldn't help herself, she giggled back, "No, I'm not alone." She rolled her eyes at Spike.
"Hello, Bit." He called into the phone.
Dawn giggled on the other end of the phone, "Tell him I said hello!"
"You can tell him yourself." Buffy grinned as she handed the phone to Spike.
"Niblet." Spike spoke into the phone, "I'm guessing I owe you a thanks."
"Yeah, you do." Dawn giggled again, then became serious, "How are you, Spike?"
"I'm good, better then I have been for a long time." He smiled at Buffy as he talked.
"You'll take care of her and the girls right?" Dawn asked.
" Till the end of the world." He answered as Buffy took his hand and gave it a warm squeeze.
"Then I guess this a mutual thank you fest." Dawn's voice was full of happiness.
"Ask why she called?" Buffy whispered from beside him.
"Sis wants to know why you called?"
Dawn answered excitedly, "Carson and I are coming to town next weekend. Make sure that's okay with her, not sure she'll have time for us now that "you're" there." She teased him.
Spike turned to Buffy, "She's coming for a visit. Wants to know if that's okay?"
Buffy leaned into the phone, "That's wonderful. When will you be here?"
"She said next weekend." Spike answered for Dawn.
"I guess I'll let you go, I'll call with more details later in the week. You two have a "nice" evening." Dawn laughed softly as she said her goodbyes.
Spike hung up the phone and turned to Buffy again, "Now where were we?"
She leaned forward catching his bottom lip and lightly nibbling on it, "Just about here... "
His hand inched her shirt up and he began to feel the smooth skin of her tummy.
"Mommy!!" The cry interrupted his ministrations, Spike pulled back.
"Tierney?" Buffy rushed down the hallway to the little girls room.
She found Tierney crying in her bed, "Whats wrong, sweetie?" She held the little girl on her lap.
"Scary." Tierney answered with a sob.
"Did you have a bad dream?" Buffy asked as she smoothed the blond curls back from Tierney's face.
"Uh huh." Tierney nodded as she held her mommy tighter.
"She okay?" Spike asked from the doorway.
"Bad dream." Buffy answered as she gently rocked the little girl.
"It's okay, Tierney." He stepped into the room and patted her back.
"Maybe it was just too much excitement tonight for her. " Buffy continued to rock back and forth as the little girl sniffled against her.
"Maybe I should just go on home, let you take care of her." Spike kissed the top of Buffy's head.
"But... " She gave him a small smile, "I really did have other plans for you."
"I know you did, but that can wait. We said the girls were the priority." He smiled at her as he walked towards the door, "I'll call you tomorrow afternoon, I've got some apartments to look at tomorrow evening and I'll try to stop by after."
"You're sure you're okay with this?" Buffy asked raising her eyebrows.
"I am. We've got plenty of time, Buffy. I'll let myself out and lock the door. Goodnight." He said soflty as he left the room.
"Goodnight." She replied with a sigh.
Tierney finally fell asleep an hour later, an exhausted Buffy crawled into her bed and smiled as she thought about what almost had happened earlier, her smile grew bigger as she fell asleep dreaming of strong arms around her and sweet kisses all over her face.
Saturday mornings were special for Buffy, it was the morning she and the girls slept in. When they did wake up they enjoyed a special waffle breakfast and cartoons. Buffy did some laundry and played a game of Candyland with the girls, soon it was lunch time and after the girls decided to play in the sandbox in the backyard. Buffy finished the dishes as she watched them through the kitchen window. Around one o'clock the phone rang, she dried her hands off on a dishtowel and answered it, "Hello."
"Hello, luv. What are you doing?" It was Spike's smooth voice.
She smiled instinctively at the sound, "I'm watching the girls play in the sandbox."
"Sounds fun, Tierney feeling better now?" He asked with genuine concern.
"Yes, she fell asleep about an hour after you left." Buffy leaned against the counter to get comfortable and a better view out the window.
"Good."
"Did you sleep well?" Buffy asked hesitantly still not completely sure he had been okay with how the previous night had ended.
He laughed, "Yeah after a very cold shower." She could almost see the smirk on his face.
"I'm sorry about that." She replied softly.
"I told you it was okay, and it is. Just had to tease you a bit. I'm not worried about when we... I mean it will happen when it should." He assured her.
"So, when do you have to go look at the apartments?"
"I meet the lady at six thirty tonight, it sounds like the perfect place. Two bedrooms and a balcony. I'll have to do some furniture shopping and such."
Buffy grinned into the phone, "Shopping, I can help with that!"
"I knew you could, pet." He laughed again.
The laughter between them was new and nice, they both felt it. After a few minutes more, Spike let her go with the promise of a call after the apartment viewing. She went outside and played with the girls for a bit then brought them inside to lay down and try to take a nap. "Don't want a nap." Brenna complained loudly.
"Then just rest for a few minutes okay?" Buffy told her as she put them in thier beds.
The phone rang and she rushed to answer it, "Hello, Buffy." Giles voice came across the line.
"Giles, I'm really not in the mood to be told how wrong I am." Buffy sighed.
"Good, because I'm not going to tell you that." Giles answered calmly.
"You're not?" Buffy asked surprised.
"No, I think... I think it's time I quit judging what was right and wrong for you. Buffy, you've been an adult for a long time now. I should be trusting you to make adult decisions about who you have in your life." He sighed.
"Even Spike?" She asked unconvinced.
"Even Spike. Now that I've got that out of the way how are the girls?"
Buffy had to laugh at the sudden change of subject but she didn't push him on it, over the years she had learned that this was a typical Giles apology, "The girls are good, they are both napping right now."
After catching up for another thirty minutes, Buffy hung up the phone a smile on her face.
Two nights later
"This is beautiful." Buffy held Tierney on her hip as she ran her hand across the foot of the antique cherry sleigh bed.
Spike had found and apartment and was now busy shopping for furnishings. He, Buffy and the girls had stopped at one of Memphis' many antique shops. "It is pretty and look a matching armoire." He held Brenna's hand as he went to inspect the large piece of furniture, "You really like this, Buffy?"
"Yeah, look at the craftsmanship, it's lovely." She sighed wistfully, "It's probably not quite manly enough for you though."
"Hmm..." He mumbled, "Brenna and I are going to look over here, okay?"
Buffy nodded at him as she went to look at a display of depression glass.
"Your wife, she really likes the sleigh bed? I can make you a good deal on it." An older woman stepped from behind the counter.
"She's no ... " Spike caught himself, "Yes, she really likes it. How much for the bed and armoire?"
The saleswoman smiled and quoted him a price, "That's not too much to make her happy is it? "
"I'll take it and thank you." He smiled as he pulled out his wallet, Brenna still tightly holding his hand.
"It will be delivered tomorrow." She told him as she handed him a reciept.
Buffy joined him at the counter, "So what did you decide on?"
"I went with the sleigh bed." He grinned at her.
"We'll throw a masculine bedspread on it and you'll be happy." Buffy grinned back at him.
"You have a lovely family." The saleswoman smiled at the couple in front of her.
Buffy started to explain but noticed that Spike wasn't rushing to correct her, almost at the same instant they both replied, "Thank you."
Once out of the store, Buffy looked at Spike, "It seemed easier to go along with her."
"Yeah, it did." He kissed her cheek, "And I have to admit, it's nice to be thought of as someone's family."
Buffy put Tierney down and took her hand, she took Spike's hand in the free one, "Family is nice."
Dawn arrived late Friday night with a sleepy little boy in tow. Spike carried her luggage in for her as Buffy led her to the guest room where she put Carson to bed. They stopped and peeked in at the girls who were already sleeping soundly.
While Spike and Buffy got comfy on the couch, Dawn settled into the chair grinning at both of them, "It's so good to see you two together!"
Buffy smiled shyly, "So Dawn what do you want to do while you're here?"
"I want to babysit my wonderful neices while their mom goes out with her boyfriend for a real date." Dawn smiled brightly.
"You didn't come all this way just to babysit?" Buffy shook her head.
"No, I wanted to see you and the girls and Captain Peroxide over there. But I know you and I bet you haven't spent any time away from the girls together, have you?"
"Well, no but it's okay, I love the girls." Spike started defensively.
"Spike, I know you love the girls. But it would be kind of nice to go out alone, don't you think?" Buffy took his hand and began to rub small circles with her thumb across his knuckles.
"Well, dinner might be nice." He warmed up to the idea quickly.
"And then maybe back to your place to see the new furniture?" Buffy added her eyes wide.
"And then maybe we could try out the... " Spike stopped midsentence as Dawn cleared he throat to remind them she was still there, "Yes, a night out would be nice. Thanks Dawn."
"Your welcome, and you can stay out as late as you want, all night even." She gave them a wink.
Spike stood up, "I suppose I should go, leave you two to the gossip. I'll be back tomorrow night." He kissed Buffy lightly and then hugged Dawn before he left.
"Okay, big sis it's time to spill!" Dawn laughed as she joined Buffy on the couch.
Buffy poured two glasses of coca cola and carried them to the living room, she handed one to Dawn.
"Thanks," Dawn took a sip of the soda, "He looks good."
"Yeah, he does." Buffy smiled.
"Oh yeah." Dawn grinned appreciatively.
"Dawnie!" Buffy feigned surprise, "You're a married woman!"
"But I'm not blind." Dawn broke into giggles.
Buffy joined her laughter, "It feels good with him here. I'm sure it won't last but it feels good." Buffy's voice was soft and wistful.
"It will last this time, Buffy." Dawn put both hands on her sister's shoulders, "You deserve this, it's time for you and the girls to have some happiness."
"That would be good and he really seems to want to be here. It's just scary, he says he won't leave, but he has before."
"That was before, Buffy. I think you've both changed now, it's time for you to be together." Dawn assured her with a yawn.
"I hope so." Buffy covered her own yawn with her hand. "I suppose we should go to bed."
"Good idea, I was thinking we could go to the zoo tomorrow. Then tomorrow evening I can help you get ready for the big date!" Dawn followed Buffy down the hall as they went to thier bedrooms.
"Sounds good, night, Dawn." Buffy told her as she went into the room.
"Night."
The zoo trip went off without a hitch, Dawn and Buffy enjoyed watching their children intract with each other and enjoying the animals. After lunch they returned home with exhausted children who all went down for long naps.
The children woke up in time to find Dawn helping Buffy pick out clothes for her evening out. "I just don't have anything to wear!" Buffy complained as she lay yet another outfit on her bed.
"You have lots of lovely things, Buffy. Anyway Spike could care less what you're wearing, you could wear a burlap bag," Dawn told her then switched to a terrible British accent, "And he would say 'doesn't she look beautiful?'"
Buffy grinned at her sister, "I suppose this would be okay." She held a simply cut black dress in front of her, "Just a little jewelry and some heels, this would be okay for dinner out?"
"It's perfect." Dawn agreed with her.
Buffy lay out the dress and her shoes and jewelry. She and Dawn then watched a movie with the kids and Dawn started their supper while Buffy showered and got ready.
Spike knocked on the door slightly after dark, he was dressed in dark slacks and blue button down shirt, he seemed almost nervous as Dawn let him in. He was carrying a small bouquet of flowers in his hand.
"Nice touch, Spike. She'll love them." Dawn patted his shoulder, "I'll go get her."
"Feel like I'm going to prom!" Spike complained as he took his seat on the couch.
"You love it." Dawn teased as she went down the hallway.
"You look nice, Mr. Spike." Brenna's voice came from the doorway to the kitchen.
"Thank you, Brenna. I'm gonna take your mommy out to dinner. Is that okay with you?" He helped the little girl up on the couch beside him.
"Yeah, it's okay. Aunt Dawn said we could play games and watch a new movie tonight." She scooted next to him, "Mommy pulled out all of her clothes from her closet today. She was fussing that she didnt' have anything to wear, but she has lots of clothes!" Brenna explained as Spike listened with a smile.
"Mommy is like that sometimes, but we love her don't we?"
"Yep." Brenna nodded in agreement.
"He's here, Buffy." Dawn stuck her head in Buffy's room.
"How do I look?" Buffy asked as she put in her earrings.
"You look lovely. That dress is perfect." Dawn hugged her sister, "Now go and have some fun."
Buffy grinned when she saw Brenna next to Spike on the couch explaining the intricacies of Candyland to him, "Hey." She called out softly.
Spike's eyes grew wide when he saw her, 'Hey. You look wonderful." He stood up and offered her the flowers.
"You do too. Thank you." She sniffed the bouquet, "These are lovely."
"I'll go put them in water for you." Dawn told her as she took the flowers, "Tierney come say bye to mommy."
Tierney came into the livingroom with Carson toddling beside her, she ran to her mommy and hugged her legs, "Bye mommy."
Brenna joined her, "Bye mommy. Bye Mr. Spike."
Buffy knelt down beside the little girls, "Bye girls, be good for Aunt Dawn."
"Now, shoo, out of here." Dawn waved them out the door.
"This is so nice," Buffy told Spike as she sipped her wine, " A real sit down restaruant."
"It is nice to go somewhere without a drive thru." Spike agreed as he cut his steak.
"I hope the girls are behaving for Dawn."
"I'm sure they are luv, they are great kids." Spike assured her.
"They really like you too." She smiled shyly now.
"I like them and their mother too." He reached across the table and touched her hand.
"I kind of like you too." She gave his hand a squeeze.
The next half hour was spent with talk of the girls and Dawn and her family. The conversation was easy and comfortable. When Spike leaned over to wipe a bit of red velvet cake off of Buffy's chin he couldn't resist and he gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.
"Well isn't this sweet, my poor dead brother's wife making out like a teenager in a restuarant." Deanna's shrill voice spoiled the moment.
Buffy pulled back from Spike horror and embarrassment on her face, "Deanna."
"Deanna!" A tall man from behind the woman called.
"Buffy, " the man began to shake his head apolgetically.
"Don't Jay, it's not your fault." Buffy began to shake her head.
Deanna turned to her husband glaring, "You can't approve of this?"
"Deanna, it's none of my business just like it's none of yours." Jay spoke calmly and deliberately to his wife.
"It is my business she was my brothers wife, the mother of his children and she's behaving like this, Deanna started off on her tirade but was interrupted.
"Deanna until the other night at the fair, you hadn't seen your brother's children in two years. It's a bit late to play worried aunt." Buffy replied icily.
Jay covered a smile, "Deanna lets go."
"You're going to let her talk to me like that?" Deanna turned to her husband.
"Yes, because it's long overdue. You've been cruel to Buffy any chance you get and it's wrong and as for your earlier question, yes I approve and so would David. He loved Buffy and would want her happy. Deal with it, Deanna." He turned to Buffy, "Best of luck to both of you." then back to his wife, " I'm leaving dear, if you want a ride you better come with me now."
Deanna's eyes grew wide, "I... I..I never... "
"Perhaps that's the reason for your attitude." Spike smirked at the woman.
Buffy held back a giggle as she watched Deanna walk off in a huff.
"Such a lovely woman." Spike said with such fake sincerity that Buffy could not hold in her giggles any longer.
When she had gained her composure, Spike asked for the check and they decided to take a walk along Beale Street. The sound of blues music floated out of the many clubs along the famous street. Spike held her hand as they walked, her mood had turned serious. "What's wrong, Buffy?"
She stopped and looked up at him, "Do you think that other people will think it's wrong that I'm moving on with my life?"
"Some might, but you're friends will be glad for you and there really the only ones that matter. Are you having second thoughts?" He tried to hide the worry in his voice.
"No, no second thoughts. In fact I think I'm ready to go see the new furniture at your apartment." She smiled at him trying to allay his worry.
"You sure?"
"Positive." She kissed him for emphasis.
The ride back to his apartment was quiet, Buffy sat as close to him as possible her head resting on his shoulder. Once there, he parked the car and opened her door for her. She followed him to the apartment. Her eyes widened with surprise when she saw the newly furnished apartment, "It's beautiful. You didn't need me at all." She gave him a faux pout.
"I always need you Buffy." He replied sweetly.
She lowered her eyes at the reply, "How do you do that?"
"What?" He asked with a shrug.
"Know just what to say, make me feel so good with your words." She took his hand, "Show me the apartment."
"Okay, heres the livingroom, and there's the diningroom," He led her to another room, "This is the kitchen."
"You've done a great job. I'm impressed." She squeezed his hand, "Now the only room left is the bedroom."
"Well, you see I've been thinking about that... I kind of think we might skip that room tonight and do that other thing you were talking about." He led her back into the livingroom.
Buffy looked confused, "What other thing?" She sat down next to him on the couch.
"That word thing...we need to do some talking. I need to know...we both need to know some things before we go any further." Spike's tone was serious but he was smiling letting her know it was all going to be okay.
"So you want to talk instead of..." She smiled back at him, "Okay, we can talk, it's just that after the other night I thought...you wanted."
"I did, I do want... but I want it to be right. I've been thinking about the girls and well, Brenna asked me about being her daddy."
"She mentioned that to me too." Buffy leaned back against the couch cushion, "I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, but she's just a little girl and I think she see's everyone around her with a daddy and she... "
"She wants one too, it didn't make me uncomfortable, Buffy. In fact it was nice... I didn't ever think I would have a chance, hell, that I would ever even want the chance to be a daddy." Spike took a deep breath, "But I think that I would like that, if things work out the way I want them to with us, I want to be there for the girls. I want us to be real family."
"You really want that?" Tears sprang to her eyes.
"Yeah, I do. But I need to know if that's okay with you. I mean you asked earlier about people thinking badly of you for moving on. I don't want you or anyone else to think I want them to forget their dad. I know he was a wonderful man, he was good to you and he loved his daughters. But I want to be there for them now." Spike looked into her eyes almost scared of what he would see there.
Her eyes shone with the unshed tears, "You're right, David loved me and he loved his daughters. That's why I know that he would be okay with this, he would want the girls to have someone to look after them and... love them." She lay her head on his shoulder, "You really see us as a family someday?"
"I hope so, but that's why I'm not rushing you into anything, I just want it clear what I want to happen and make sure thats okay with you." He turned and kissed her forehead.
"It's more then okay with me, and you're right about the rushing. When it's right we'll know." She sighed, "It is okay to neck on the couch a little isn't it?" She grinned at him.
"I think so." He grinned back as his lips found hers.
An hour of fervent kissing passed before they pulled away from each other. Buffy sighed, "I think I should probably go, check on the girls. It's not that I don't want to stay..."
He pushed her hair back away from her face, "I know...I think it's a good idea for mommy to be home in the morning too. I'll take you home." He kissed her once more before they left.
"Buffy, what are you doing home? I thought you would probably be gone all night." Dawn had been asleep on the couch.
"No... we decided that maybe it wasn't quite time for that yet. We talked about the future and about the girls and what we want." Buffy explained with a smile, "It was nice."
"It sounds nice and very serious. So you talked about the future?" Dawn sat back down on the couch pulling a pillow into her lap.
"Yeah, he wants to be in our future, the girls and I. He wants to be a father to them. But we don't want to rush it."
"Good plan." Dawn hugged Buffy, "I think it's going to work out this time."
"I think maybe you're right." Buffy replied softly.
The next few days passed quickly, Dawn and Buffy enjoyed spending time with the kids and just visiting with each other. Dawn left feeling better about her sister then she had in a very long time, she made Buffy promise that she and Spike would go out on a real date all alone once in awhile and she agreed.
The weeks stretched into a few months. Buffy was happy at her new job and Spike was even doing some work for Angel in the area. Spike became a familiar face to Buffy's friends and coworkers, he helped with the kids and even went to the program the daycare put on, grinning at Tierney and Brenna as they sang "I'm a little teapot".
Things became easier yet more complicated at the same time between Buffy and Spike, they were very comfortable together, the words "I love you", passed between them easily. The problem was that both were afraid of letting the other know that they were ready to move to the next step, they were both afraid of being the 'pushy' one.
Spike spent the night before Brenna's fifth birthday party putting a small bicycle together for her. Dawn and her husband along with Carson came in to town for the party. When everyone except the family had left ,Spike took Brenna out in the dusky darkness and ran up and down the sidewalk holding on to the bike while she cried out "Don't let go, don't let go!" Then she squealed with joy when she realized he had let go and she was riding the bike by herself. Spike was as proud as any father could be when she took off by herself down the sidewalk and turned to come back towards him, "I'm riding it!" She told him with a thousand watt smile lighting her face.
Buffy and Dawn stood in the driveway watching, "He's so good with the girls, Buffy."
"I know. They really love him too." Buffy replied wistfully.
"What's wrong?" Dawn asked concerned.
"We decided to take it slow and now it's like we're stuck...things are so good now, we're afraid to go any further." Buffy shook her head, "Silly, huh?"
"No, just cautious. Maybe you need to tell him you're ready for the next step? He's probably as scared as you are." Dawn patted Buffy's arm.
"Maybe the next time we get some alone time, I'll talk to him." Buffy watched as Brenna rode the bike up in the driveway, Spike following her.
"Shawn and I can keep the girls tomorrow night, why don't you plan on talking to him then?"
"Actually, I think maybe I have a plan to show him that I'm ready. It would be great if you could keep the girls for me tomorrow night." Buffy smiled secretively.
"Luv, what's that look for? What are you two planning?" Spike asked as he put Brenna's bike in the garage.
"Us?" Dawn replied innocently, "Nothing."
Buffy nodded her head in agreement, "Nothing at all."
Spike said his goodbyes and kissed her goodnight. He went back to his apartment still feeling suspicious about she and Dawn's conversation.
The Next Evening
"That's what you're wearing?" Dawn frowned a little as Buffy entered the room.
"Yeah, I want to keep things simple." Buffy took another look in the mirror, "Do I look that bad?"
She was dressed in a simple white peasant top and jeans, very little makeup and her hair piled up and held with a clip.
"You look great, I just thought you might dress up more." Dawn smiled at her sister.
"Part of my going to Spike tonight is that I feel comfortable around him anytime and no matter how I'm dressed. I know he loves me no matter what." Buffy smiled brightly, "Now I'm going to check on the girls and go. Thanks so much for staying with them tonight." She hugged Dawn and left the room.
Both girls were sleeping soundly when she left the house. It was almost ten o'clock, Spike had worked tonight but he would be home by now. She knocked confidently on his door.
"Buffy?" He let her in, "I was just going to call you, I didn't expect to see you tonight. Is everythng alright?"
"Everything's fine. I just had to... I wanted to tell you that I'm ready.." She hesitated momentarily.
"Ready for?" He asked hopefully.
"Ready to see that bedroom furniture." She replied chewing on her bottom lip.
"You're sure." He asked raising his eyebrow at her.
"I am." She answered taking his hand in hers and leading him towards the bedroom door.
Once in the room they both seemed to have lost some of their earlier confidence, "It does look good in here." Buffy said softly as she patted the quilt on the bed.
"Yeah, it does." Spike sat down on the bed.
Buffy cautiously sat down beside him, "Comfy." She commented as she bounced a little bit.
"Yes, but it has one flaw." Spike told her very seriously.
"What?"
"It's big and I get lonely." He gave her a sly smile as he reached for her.
"You won't be lonely tonight." She laughed softly into this lips.
Note: The poem excerpts in this chapter are Love's Philosophy by Percy Blysshe Shelley and She Walks in Beauty by Lord Byron.
Their kisses became more fervent and Buffy pulled back for a moment to start unbuttoning Spike's shirt. He let her remove the shirt and then reached for her dress, she lifted her arms and he pulled it over her head tossing it on the chair with his shirt. "The rest of them." She nodded towards his pants, he grinned as he stood and pulled them off leaving them to lie in the floor. He stood before her in his naked glory and she began to laugh, his expression turned to confusion, "Whats so funny?"
"I guess in your case, the answer is still 'none of the above' to that boxers or brief's question."
He laughed softly, "Don't need them just another obstacle to get past, like this." He reached behind her and undid her bra tossing it to the floor with her pants.
"And these." She wriggled out of her panties tossing them aside.
He pulled her close to him then, enjoying the feel of her bare skin against his chest, they sat on the edge of the bed like that for several moments just enjoying the embrace. "I really missed you." He whispered into her hair.
"I missed you too." She whispered back against his chest.
He lay her down gently then, kissing every inch of her from her eyelids to cheeks, the tip of her nose, her lips, her chin, he worked his way down her throat to her full breasts, she arched and moved under him as he nipped and kissed her. She ran her hands through his curls, pulling him up to her mouth again so she could devour him with kisses.
Hands roamed over familiar bodies and sighs became moans. Whispered 'I love you's' filled the rooms and after several hours passed they lay in the big bed cocooned under the quilt tightly wrapped in each other's arms. She lazily traced random circles on his chest with her fingertip as he quoted poetry to her from Byron, "She walks in beauty like the night. Of cloudless chimes and starry skies. And all that's best of dark and bright. Meets in her aspect and her eyes" Which Buffy proclaimed as lovely to - Shelley's "Love's Philosophy" He quoted the last verse in his strong voice.
See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven
If it disdained it's brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
and the moonbeams kiss the sea:-
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?
Buffy rolled on top of him and kissed his soundly. Another hour later finally exhausted they fell asleep still in each other's arms. Buffy slept more contentedly then she had in the last two years. Spike woke first smiling down at her in the crook of his arm. He looked at he clock and saw three o'clock glaring back at him, as much as he hated to leave this little bit of heaven, he shook her softly to wake her, "Buffy, luv. Wake up."
"Hmmm." She opened one eye, "Hey... " She opened both eyes and smiled her hair tousled from lovemaking.
"I need to get you home before daylight. I think it's probably a good idea if you're there when the girls wake up." He kissed her lightly as he got out of the bed.
"You're probably right. Thank you...for thinking about them." She stood and kissed him as she began to look for her clothes.
"We have a little time though, are you hungry?" He asked as he pulled on his pants.
"Well, now that you mention it, I guess I have worked up an appetite."
He watched as she ran his hairbrush through her tangled locks the simple act filled his heart with happiness. She caught him staring, "I'm sorry, I didn't think." She sat the brush down suddenly shy again.
"No, use it. I'm just happy you felt comfortable using it. You're welcome to anything here, Buffy." He smiled at her, "I'm going to cook you some eggs and toast and then I'll get you home."
"Thanks." She finished dressing and joined him in the kitchen where he had two plates sat at the counter, "Smells yummy."
"Have a seat and we'll eat." He motioned towards the barstool and poured her some juice.
"You keep lots of food for someone who really doesn't need it." She told him as she took a bite of eggs.
"Never know when I might have company." He smiled back at her as he bit into his slice of toast.
"Ah, so you have breakfast company frequently?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Actually you're the first."
"And I better be the only." She flashed a grin at him.
"A jealous girl... I think I like that." He laughed softly.
She rolled her eyes at him, "This is nice." She took a sip of her orange juice.
"Well, it's nothing fancy just a bit of breakfast." Spike shrugged.
"No, not the breakfast," She shook her head and continued, "Yes, the breakfast is nice, but the just sitting here together, just 'being' it's nice."
"It is. Think I could get used to it." He happily agreed.
They finished breakfast and she insisted on helping him wash the few dishes, "I'm not ready to leave you yet, lets get the dishes done and then I'll go."
"Alright, Luv, not really wanting you to leave either, but it's for the best." He kissed the top of her head as she began to wash the dishes.
After she had put the last dish away she sighed, "It's getting close to sunrise, I guess I better go."
"Yeah, but there will be other nights." He leaned his forehead against hers.
"Promise?" She leaned against him.
"I do." He smiled to himself he really liked the sound of those words.
Spike drove her home and watched as she let heself into the house before driving back to his apartment feeling lighter and happier then he had in years.
Two months later
Buffy and Spike sat on a bench watching Brenna and Tierney play in the sandbox. It was a warm night and there were a couple of other families enjoying the park too. Spike patted his pocket repeatedly, he had three special gifts inside and was just waiting for the right moment to talk to Buffy.
"That's mine." Brenna called out as a boy took her sand bucket from her and started to walk away.
"It's mine now." The little boy shouted back.
"No, it's mine." Brenna stood and pulled on the bucket, the little boy fell into the sand on his bottom.
"I'm gonna tell my daddy, you pushed me down." The bully smirked at Brenna, still holding her bucket.
"I didn't push you, you took my bucket." Brenna frowned.
Spike and Buffy had witnessed part of the scuffle and were now headed towards the sandbox.
The little boy noticed them coming towards them, "Is that your dad? Cause my dad's much bigger, he could beat him up."
Before Brenna could answer, Spike stepped in, "Here now, give her back her bucket."
"He said his dad could beat you up." Brenna offered as the boy grudgingly handed her the bucket.
"He did. Well I don't think it's gonna come to that." Spike leaned over and picked Tierney up from the sandbox then took Brenna's hand in his.
"Your dad's a chicken." The little boy laughed behind them.
Brenna pulled her hand free and ran back to the little boy kicking him in the shin before Spike or Buffy could stop her. "He's not a chicken!"
The little boys father had heard the last part of the conversation and was approaching them, "I'm sorry she shouldn't have kicked him." Buffy took Brenna's hand firmly in hers, "We don't kick."
"He'll be fine, he shouldn't have been teasing her, I'm sorry." The man apologized and took the little boys hand leading him away.
"Got to admit she did have good aim, she's her mother's daughter." Spike whispered on the way out of the park. Buffy shook her head at him.
"Why did you kick him, Brenna?" Buffy asked as they loaded into the car.
"He said my dad... Mr. Spike was a chicken. I know he's not my daddy but... that made me mad." Brenna crossed her arms across her chest.
"Well, hitting people isn't a good way to deal with things when you're unhappy." Buffy told her seriously.
"Like I said she's her mother's daughter." Spike mumbled under his breath earning a glare from Buffy.
When they arrived home, Buffy bathed the girls and let Spike read them a book before tucking them in. He sat down on the couch and dug into his pocket, now was as good as time as any he supposed. "Buffy, can you come here. I need to ask you something."
She came into the livingroom with an armful of towels, "Just a minute I want to put these in the laundry room."
"This will only take a minute." He grinned at her.
She sat down, the dirty laundry on her lap.
He took a very deep breath, "I know we said we didn't want to rush, but I think things are going well and I can't find a reason to put this off. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" He opened his hand and revealed a diamond engagement ring sitting in his palm.
Buffy stared at the ring for a moment, "You're asking me to marry you?"
"Yes. I love you, people in love get married." He gave her a worried smile, she hadn't answered yet.
"After you've implied my daughter gets violent tendencies from me and I'm sitting her in sweat pants and my hair tied up, dirty laundry in my lap and this is when you propose?" She giggled nervously.
"I thought about a nice romantic dinner but earlier at the park, I realized that this is our life, the kids and baths and reading time and laundry and." He took her hand in his, "You haven't answered and I'm not being pushy but... "
She pushed the laundry into the floor and crawled into his lap, "Yes, I will marry you." She peppered his face with kisses. He took her hand in his and slid the ring on her left hand.
"Do you think the girls are awake still?" Spike asked between kisses.
"Probably, why?" Buffy still sat on his lap.
"I have something for them and I want to make sure this is okay with them." He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out two small charm bracelets with silver hearts hanging on them.
"They'll love them and they love you, it's going to be okay. Let's go check on them." He followed her to the girls room.
"Brenna, Tierney. " Buffy could hear them whispering.
"We're going to sleep, mommy." Brenna assured her mom as Buffy turned on the light.
"It's okay, we need to talk to you." Buffy and Spike sat on the end of Tierney's bed, Buffy offered her hand to Brenna who joined them.
"See this pretty ring on mommy's hand?" Spike showed the girls the engagement ring, "I gave that to mommy because I love her and I want to be a family with her and you. We're going to get married. Is that okay?"
"You're going to be my daddy?" Brenna asked a hopeful expression on her face.
"If that's okay with you." Spike nodded at her, "In fact I got one of these for you and Tierney. It's like your mommy's ring." He fastened the small bracelet around Brenna's wrist, "This is a gift to you to show you how much I love you. Thats what the heart stands for."
Brenna stared at the bracelet and smiled. "Thank you." She crawled over Buffy and put her arms around his neck, "I knew you were going to be my daddy, I knew it." She whispered as she hugged him tightly.
He put Tierney's bracelet on her arm and she grinned at him . After many hugs, they tucked the girls back into the bed and turned out the light, "Night mommy, night Mr.Sp... daddy." Brenna called out as they left the room.
Spike wiped at his eyes as they left the room, Buffy smiled at him, "Something in your eye, honey?" She teased softly.
"Yeah, must be dust or something." He smiled as he pulled her close to him.
Spike sat on the couch holding Buffy close to him, "The girls do seem happy, don't they?"
She looked at him love shining in her eyes, "Yes they are happy, I knew they would be." She tried to cover a yawn. It was late and they had made several phone calls to announce thier news.
"I'll go, you're tired." He kissed the top of her head.
"Can I just sit here beside you awhile? It's nice, you're a great pillow." She closed her eyes as she cuddled against him.
He laughed softly, "Sounds good to me." He made himself more comfortable and he watched her sleep. Thinking about the earlier reactions from friends and family.
Dawn had screamed excitedly so loudly he could hear her from where he sat. Angel had quietly accepted the news with sincere congratulations, Xander and Willow were both surprised yet supportive and Giles... Giles had sighed and then wished them the best. They had all promised to be there for the wedding.
As the sunset, the bride walked into the garden behind the Dixon Gallery, she was preceded by Brenna and Tierney in matching pastel blue dresses they threw white rose petals down the pathway and both of them grinned up at Spike while they stood to the side. Buffy dressed in an ivory lace tea lengh dress, her hair up, a small bouquet of white roses and baby's breath in her hands she joined Spike in front of the Justice of the Peace.
The vows were simple and sincere. The "I do's" said with such love and sincerity that Willow and Dawn sighed and teared up. Even Xander and Giles had to smile at the look of complete happiness on the couples faces.
A small reception was held at their house, where family and friends congratulated the happy couple and caught up with each other's lives. Buffy and Spike kissed Brenna and Tierney goodbye before leaving for a short honeymoon. Dawn was staying with the girls.
Buffy pulled the satin robe tighter around her as she stood on the balcony of their hotel room, a glass of champagne in her hand while she stared at the full moon. Spike joined her in his matching robe, the robes were gifts from Dawn. He wrapped his arms around her lying his head on her shoulder. "Happy?"
"Ecstatic." She murmured as she sat the glass down and turned into him, lying her head on his chest, "Tell me it's going to be perfect like this all the time." She smiled against him.
"Can't do that, luv. We promised to be completely honest." He smiled back at her, "I can however promise that even when things go off and imperfect, I'm going to be there trying my best to make them right again."
"That's fair enough." She ran her hands under his robe and on to his smooth chest, placing small kisses on the exposed skin.
The rest of the night was spent in perfection...
Years later...
"Spike, honey, you need to talk to her. Explain how you feel." Buffy kissed his shoulder.
"Won't change her mind, she's still going." Spike replied sullenly.
"No, it won't change her mind." Buffy smiled at her husband, "But it might make it easier for her if she knows why you don't want her to go. You really don't want her to go off to college with the two of you at odds, do you?"
He turned around to face her, "No, I don't. I want to know why you are so calm about this? You who have dealt with blood and guts, fainted when she broke her arm. But she can go a thousand miles off to college and you're okay with it."
"I'm calm because one of us has to be. I'm going to miss her but I know in my heart this is right, she's worked so hard for this scholarship and she's going to be a wonderful doctor. She wants to do cancer research and who knows maybe she'll make a huge breakthrough someday. In your heart you know it's the right thing too, you just don't want your little girl here where you can keep an eye on her." She leaned up and kissed his cheek.
"I'm going outside for a minute." He kissed the top of her head, "Be right back."
"Okay. Don't take too long, we've got to leave for the airport soon." She patted his arm as he left.
Spike stood against the farside of the garage as he lit the cigarette. It glowed red in the dusky darkness. He felt before he heard the small footsteps coming around the corner, "I said I'd be in in just a minute." He really hated for Buffy to catch him smoking, he didn't do it very often anymore only when he was under stress and sending Brenna off to North Carolina for college counted as stress.
"It's me." Tierney raised her eyes at him she saw the cigarette.
"Oh, you've come to nag at me?" He grinned at the teenager in front of him. She was a pretty sixteen year old, petite like her mother with golden blond hair hanging down her back.
"No, not to nag, but just to tell you Brenna wants to talk to you." Tierney leaned against the garage wall, "She's been crying...she thinks maybe you'll never forgive her."
"She's crying?" His voice softened, couldn't stand to see any of his girls cry.
"Yes, I told her you were just being 'daddy' though. You just hate letting us out of your sight. Scared something might happen to us out there in that big bad world." Tierney sighed.
"You're going to miss her too, aren't you?" Spike asked ruffling the girls hair the way he had done when she was little.
"Yes, I am. But Brenna's smart she'll be okay. Are you going to be this bad when I leave?" She asked seriously.
"Depends, where do you plan on going to college?" He asked raising his eyebrow.
"Oh...I don't plan on going to college, think I'll just find some guy in a rock band and be his groupie, write you postcards from around the country." She gave him a smirk worthy of himself and then burst into giggles.
"You are a cruel child." He laughed along with her, "You know I love you and Brenna and just want the best don't you?" His tone was serious again.
"Yes, daddy, I do. Now go talk to her, her bed is covered with her luggage so she's crying on 'my' pillow!" She gave him a gentle push towards the house.
"Fine." He ground out the cigarette and carefully picked up the butt putting it in the trashcan.
"Why do you do that? Mom knows you smoke sometimes, she just lets you think you're getting away with it." Tierney shook her head at the relationship between her parents, she hoped someday to find happiness the way they had.
They went into the house, Buffy smiling at Tierney mouthing "Thanks" as she watched Spike walk down the hall to Brenna's room.
He knocked lightly on the bedroom door, he could hear her sniffling as she called out, "Come in."
"Hey." He called out as he entered the room.
"Hey." She answered as she sat up and wiped her eyes.
"I guess I'm responsible for those tears?" He asked softly as he sat beside her on the bed.
She just nodded and looked at her fingernails.
"Brenna, I'm sorry. I know I've been hard on you lately. I just... I just hate to see you go so far away. I'll miss you and I'm gonna worry so much." He sighed as he ran his hand through her dark hair.
"I know you'll miss me daddy. But I'm going to be fine. Mom and you have taught me what I need to know. You did your job well you should be happy!" She gave him a small smile.
"Part of the problem is that I still want you to be the little girl that drew this," He opened his wallet and pulled out a yellowed paper and unfolded it, in childish scrawl was written 'Happy Father's Day, love Brenna' she had drawn a stick figure with bright yellow hair.
"You still have that?" Brenna asked in surprise.
"Of course," he smiled at her and then touched the charm bracelet on her wrist, it had several links added to it through the years but she still wore the bracelet faithfully, "You still have this."
She smiled at him her eyes brimming with a different type of tears now, "Of course I do. You and mom seem to think that somehow it's a miracle that you two found each other again. Me... I've known since I was four years old you were going to be my daddy so really it's because of me you're together!" She laughed softly, " I love you...but I really do have to do this, I have to go."
"I know you do sweetheart, I've been stubborn. I just want you to be careful and it would probably be a good idea to stay away from men while you're there." He tried to keep his expression serious.
"Daddy!" She exclaimed as she hugged his neck tightly.
"I'm serious, if you go near one I'll be able to smell him, when we visit." Spike warned her with a grin.
"Mom is so right, that vampire smelling thing is gross." Brenna pulled away from him. She and Tierney had first been told about Spike's "sun allergy" when they were very young, when they were a little older the whole truth was revealed. Both little girls loved their daddy so much that this little twist never bothered them.
"I'll help you carry your bags out now." He stood and grabbed a suitcase.
Buffy and Tierney were waiting in the livingroom, Buffy smiled as she watched Spike coming down the hallway, suitcase in hand. The trip to the airport was one of the hardest trips the parents had ever made. After a tearful goodbye to Brenna, they dropped Tierney off at a friends house and went home to the quiet house.
"She's going to be fine." Buffy told him as she settled into the bed next to him, "Are you?"
"Yeah, I'll be okay." He turned to her gathering her up in his arms till her head rested on his shoulder, her arm across his chest, "I love you, you know that?" He smiled as he played with a lock of her hair.
"Yes, I do." She snuggled even closer, "I love you too."
And through the coming years... graduations and weddings and births and loss of loved ones. Their love is what sustained them... at times Spike worried how he would get by when Buffy's time ended and he was left behind but he knew he would find a way to go on for the children and the grandchildren and as always it would be "For Her".
The End