2:00 AM - Stevenson Hall

Angel turned back to Buffy as Willow entered the building, leaving them alone at last.

"So, did you have fun tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was cool. I haven’t been dancing in a while. We were so busy packing up that I didn’t get a chance to go clubbing much this past summer as we tied up the loose ends."

She sat on the steps, assuming he wanted to chat for a bit before she went in for the night. He slowly sat down on the step beneath her, close, but not quite crowding her.

"Buffy, you just looked beautiful out on the dance floor. I could have watched you all night." Angel reached gently for her hand and held it lightly, running his thumb across her palm as he gazed at her with his soulful brown eyes.

"Well thanks, Angel. That’s sweet." Buffy looked at him, still a little unsure why he was paying so much attention to her. She’d enjoyed his attentiveness tonight. He ‘d spent a lot of time at the party with her, except for his disappearance to go take care of party matters right before they’d left, while she’d dance with Spike. Spike. For a moment she found herself comparing the chocolate depths before her with the cobalt eyes that had entranced her earlier tonight. She realized she’d lost her train of thought and focused her attention back on Angel.

"I’m sorry Angel, I must be getting tired." She gave him a small smile. "Could you say that again?"

He returned her smile and resumed his stoking of her hand as he slid closer.

"I know you’ve just gotten back and you probably want to settle in. But I don’t want to wait, because I know the guys around here are going to be falling all over themselves to ask you out and I don’t want to miss my chance. Will you go out with me next Friday night?"

Buffy was amazed. This was it, what she’d been waiting for since she’d looked up into Angel’s brown eyes on his front porch as a young teenager. She must have had countless daydreams where she’d played this scenario out in her head a million different ways. Angel asking her to the movies. Angel taking her down to the pier on a gorgeous summer afternoon. Angel asking her to the prom. Angel planning a special picnic and surprising her on a moonlit night. Angel wanting her as his date for the Homecoming Dance. The variations had been endless and suddenly it was happening. Strangely she didn’t fell quite as elated as she’d always imagined but she ignored the tiny voice that commented that what looked good at thirteen didn’t always look the same at twenty, and vice versa. Angel wanted to date her. Her, little Buffy Summers. Was there even a question here?

"That would be great. Angel, I’d love to." She smiled brightly and squeezed the hand that held hers.

"Wonderful. I’ll call you this week and we’ll work out the details. Well I’d better let you get in before Willow starts to worry about you."

He stood up and pulled her with him until she was standing. He bent down and planted a soft kiss on her mouth, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

"See you on Friday, babe." He turned and sauntered off.

Buffy swiped her ID card in the door lock and entered the dorm, surprised she didn’t feel more excited. She was happy. She had a date with apparently one of the most eligible men on campus, if the jealous looks shooting her way tonight were any indication, who was also her lifelong crush.

Angel had kissed her too.

But in the back of her mind, she heard a little voice whisper, "You felt a lot more when Spike kissed you." She knew she had, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t feel that way for her. He was just being nice, like he had been that night before she left, when he gave her those little bears she still kept where she could see when she first woke up in the morning. He was probably still hung up on that Drusilla chick, or maybe had his only little honey tucked away in that bachelor pad of his. But never her. She sighed and unlocked the door to the room, prepared to dish with Willow about the Angel invite.

2:15 AM Leaving Stevenson Hall

Angel walked quickly back towards the house. He knew there would still be some stragglers at the party, but it was fairly late and the band would be finished by now. He was glad that had worked out with Buffy. He needed to get a little more info to plan his strategy though. He pulled out his cell and dialed Cordy’s number.

"Hey babe, how’re you doing?"

"Angel. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you tonight. I saw Darla. You give her a run for her money?"

"Something like that. Listen Cordy, be a sweetie and tell me about Buffy and Willow. I need to know more about Buffy, you know, what she’s into now, that kind of thing, before Friday night. I’m taking her out."

"Angel, are you serious about her? I mean you never stay with one girl, as I well know. What makes you think Buffy’s the one?"

"Aw, Cordy, you’re not jealous are you, sweetheart? You know you’re my girl?" Angel placated as he neared her house.

"No, I’m not Angel. I know what we have and it suits us both. Good times are had by all, I will one day find my millionaire to take me out of this place and into the lap of luxury and you apparently are going after the trust fund princess. It’s too bad she doesn’t swing like Willow, I’d be tempted to see if I couldn’t convince her to be my sugar mama.

"Cordy, you just gave me a beautiful visual. It’d be even better if you’d throw Willow in the mix. A blond, a brunette and a redhead, now there is every man’s fantasy."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I don’t get your lesbian fantasies and I’m not going after Buffy. Hello, kidding! But seriously Angel. Buffy is a sweet girl and she’s my friend. I don’t want you to hurt her. And based on talking to her today, I really think fidelity is probably a huge thing for her. I mean, I know we have a thing and I don’t care if you screw around and you don’t care if I do. But she’s not going to want to be with you if you’re with other people. I’m mean you know those rumors about how her parents died, with her mom and dad in a big fight over him cheating."

She steeled herself for his protestations.

"Angel, I’m cool with you wanting to date Buffy, if you are serious about her. But much as I hate to lose a friend with benefits like yours, I’m not gonna be with you if you’re with her. And I’ll tell her if you decide to go to any of the other girls on your long-term list. Trust me Angel, your little harem is well-acquainted."

She was not surprised by the next request.

"Fine, Cordelia, you’ve made your point. But listen, will you at least come talk to me? I’m right outside your house. You know I can’t come in there with your dragon of a housemother, this late at night. Come out here and we’ll talk, please."

"Fine Angel. Let me throw something on and I’ll be out."

2:15AM - Buffy and Willow’s Room

Buffy closed the door behind her softly, not wanting to disturb her hallmates on their first night. She wasn’t surprised to find an excited Willow bouncing on her bed.

"OK, Buffy, spill girl. Did he ask you out?"

She smiled at Willow’s enthusiasm. "Yes, he asked me out."

Before Willow could react, she threw out the next question.

"How about you, did you get any "offers" tonight? From a certain Mr. Harris, who you monopolized all evening?"

Willow blushed slightly. "Oh Buffy, it was so wonderful. I mean, Xander is like the worst dancer in the world and I know that he rubbed off on me, cause I was totally losing any sense of rhythm towards the end, too. But it was fun, even if we were cracking people up. I just missed him so much. He did mention us getting together later this week, so yeah I guess I got an offer, even if not a real official one. I couldn’t really get a read on whether it was a ‘hey old buddy, let’s hang out’ or a ‘hey pretty girl, I’d like to date you,’ you know?"

She paused for a minute and Buffy was surprised to see tears spring into Willow’s eyes.

"Buffy, I’m afraid though. I mean, he still thinks of me as sweet innocent little Willow, I think. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve done, but I’m worried how he’ll react, you know?"

"Oh Willow, are you worried he’ll be upset because you’ve been with women? I doubt that. It’ll probably be like a wet dream for him, having someone who might do a threesome with him or something. You know how guys are."

"But, Buffy that’s just it. I wouldn’t want to do that with him. I mean, you know I did a lot of experimenting that year after Tara left, while you traveled with Giles. It was good. I needed to understand who I was and explore certain parts of myself. I did do some threesomes, among other things. But they were just people looking to have fun and so was I."

Willow shifted nervously, and looked down at the tissue she was mauling in her hands, before looking Buffy squarely in the eye.

"Buffy, I think I might love Xander, in that deep down always kind of way. I even wonder if it was that thought that made Tara and I start to drift at the end there. I really loved her, but I always felt this tug, like somebody already had a piece of my heart. I don’t know for sure yet, but I know I want to find out, if he’s the one, the real deal. And I don’t want to share him with someone else, ever, not even in a game. I know that sounds kind of weird. But I don’t think I could, even if he wanted to."

She paused and wiped her eyes.

"And I don’t know if he’d even want just me. I mean, I’m afraid he’ll either be all weird about things, or he’ll be all like, let’s jump in bed. I don’t want either. I just want to get to know Xander again, see if he’s the same guy who shared crayons with me and did the Snoopy dance every Christmas. And I want to see what kind of person he’s become. I just want a chance to see if there could be something there."

Buffy reached out and pulled Willow into a tight hug.

"Sweetie, Xander seemed pretty into you tonight. I don’t know that I’d lay all that on him at once. But just be honest with him. Don’t hide what you’ve done from him, but don’t feel like he needs to know everything you’ve ever done. Willow, if Xander has any sense at all, he’ll recognize what a special person he’d be getting in you, and all you’ve become. And Xander always did seem like he had sense to me."

Willow dabbed her eyes again with the tissue she’d grabbed from her nightstand. "Sorry, Buffy, no more weeping Willow here. Thanks for the pep talk, I needed that. I’ll just be glad when we’ve aired out everything and I can see where we stand. Okay, enough about me. Tell me more about Angel. Was there kissage? Did Buffy get some smoochies?"

2:30 AM - Outside Gamma Gamma Phi House

A few minutes later, Cordelia slipped out the side door, wearing a pair of frayed cut-offs and a worn out football jersey. He was instantly on his feet, pulling her close and nuzzling her neck.

"You look good enough to eat, Cordy, you know I live to see you in my old jerseys."

He slid his hands under to find her bare skin and quickly confirmed his suspicions that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

She pushed him back.

"Angel, what did we just discuss?"

He sighed. "I know. But I have a deal for you. Come back to the house with me and discuss it. I promise, no touching you don’t want, okay?"

"Fine. But you are driving me back here. I’m not coming three blocks this late at night by myself."

"No problem." Angel grinned. If things went as planned, he wouldn’t need to walk her back home.

They slipped round to the back of his house to avoid the remaining partygoers and made their way to the second floor by the back staircase. Once inside the room, she made herself comfy on his bed, propping herself up on his pillows, then ordering him into the desk chair.

"Buddy, I know your tricks. You are staying over there until we get this settled."

Angel inched the chair forward until he could reach her feet.

"Relax Cordy, I’m just going to give you a foot massage. No biggie. Just relax and let’s talk. I know your feet are probably killing you, after wearing those sexy heels you had on tonight."

He grinned at her as he began to slide his thumbs over her insole.

"Damn you, Angel. Never let it be said that you are not one smooth talking man. So talk already while I enjoy my foot massage. What’s your deal?"

"Well it’s like this. I figure I’m going to need to move really slowly with Buffy if this is going to be a long haul relationship, right? I want her to believe I’m serious. Hell, I am serious. I need to settle down with somebody who’ll make me a good little wife. So I don’t want to rush anything. She still acts pretty innocent to me, though you never know, who’d have guessed about Willow?"

He smirked as he pulled her a little closer to him and progressed to her calves.

"But I thinking I’m going to need to do some wooing, you know flowers, chocolate, long walks in the moonlight and gradually work into the physical stuff. She’s probably only had a few lovers, so I’ll make it all special and romantic, maybe take her away for the weekend for our ‘first time.’ But Cordy, c’mon, I’ve got needs. I don’t want to be celibate for the next few months. The way I see it, until I actually sleep with Buffy, we’re not officially together, we’re just going out and we’re not exclusive, right? I can’t cheat on her if I’m not with her yet. So until then, if I can find someone discreet…."

His hand began snaking further up her leg.

"Someone with mutual desires."

He leaned down and placed a kiss on her toe before slowly sucking on it.

"Someone who needs some release she’d rather not get all by herself."

He slowly drew her across the bed closer to him.

"Then everybody wins. I’m not cheating on Buffy, because we aren’t sleeping together. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. You know we’re good together Cordy, and I know you’ll cut me off when Buffy and I become lovers. And to sweeten the pot, I think I have the perfect guy for you to be aiming for. He’s from a wealthy family and I happen to know he just ended a long-term engagement that his parents had set up. I’ll introduce you and you can see what you can do with him. Then maybe we’ll both get what we want in the end."

"Who is he?"

Angel knew he had her then. She might be able to turn down the sex, but he knew the money would get her.

"Wesley Wyndam-Price. You know, plays tight end. He’s quiet, but a nice guy. He’s been fighting this engagement his parents wanted for a long time and he finally convinced them he would be miserable. So he’s foot loose and fancy free. And I happen to know he’s eyed a certain brunette cheerleader from afar in more than one game."

She slid closer.

"I know who he is. But he’s always seemed so standoffish. And I’d heard he was taken. Really Angel, you aren’t just saying that, he likes me?"

"I’m serious. I mentioned your name at practice the other day and you should have seen the poor guy’s face light up. I’ll set you up with, if you want. I think you’ll need to play this like I will with Buffy, though. He seems a little, I don’t know, old-fashioned or something, so I’d let him take the lead.

I think you’d do better to string him along, not jump right into bed with him, you know, the better to play the blushing future Mrs. Wyndam-Price. So here’s the deal. We’ll continue our usual arrangements, very discreetly, until we land Buffy and Wesley. Then we’ll be faithful to our new loves. That work for you?"

"Angel, sounds like a plan. Now, get over here and relieve some of this sexual tension. You have got me seriously excited about Wesley and all that money."

"No problem. How about you play the uptight prude to practice and I’ll play the gentle lover."

"Forget that and fuck me Angel, we’ll practice role-playing later."

2:30 AM Spike’s Apartment

Spike logged off the web and shut his computer down. Still restless, he grabbed his beer and moved back to lay on his bed and stare up at the stars again. He felt edgy and out of sorts. Why had he kissed her? Well that was rhetorical. The better question was why had he left her? Where had things gone wrong today?

Moving Buffy in had been good. It was a little like old times, the guys hanging out together as they got the girls moved in. He’d been pretty up when they’d left to go finish setting up the stage for the band and ensure the kegs would come on time. He’d had all these half-formed images of the party and Buffy and what could happen.

And then he’d blown it from the start with his remarks about her outfit. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. In fact he’d been blown away when he’d seen her coming down the hallway.

He’d noticed the strappy red sandals first as she walked down the hall to him. Something about those heels made her walk with a sensual grace that he didn’t remember the seventeen year old Buffy possessing. And those straps that curled around her ankles made him want to suddenly develop a shoe fetish.

His gaze had risen to the leather pants next. They covered everything, but molded to her in all the right places. He wasn’t sure how she’d ever slithered in those things. The top that completed her come hither outfit had clung to her breasts that he could see bouncing freely beneath the light fabric. And then she’d turned around.

He knew she was right. He seen those little scraps of cloth that masqueraded as shirts on other women, and aside from an appreciative glance now and then, hadn’t thought much about them until he saw her in one. But confronted with the glorious expanse of golden skin, delicately criss-crossed with those crimson stands of silk and held together by a tiny bow, he’d suddenly felt like he was losing it.

His first impulse had been to drop to his knees and kiss every inch of that beautiful back, starting with that charming indenture at the base of her spine. Then he could use his tongue to outline every vertebrae in her spine, working his way up to that silly little bow at the top. He could take it in his teeth and pull it loose, then unlace those absurdly small strands until the scrap fell from her and he could turn her around and worship those beautiful breasts.

His second impulse was an incredible feeling of possessiveness. He didn’t want anyone else seeing her beauty and thinking those thoughts he’d just had. He realized later how strange his reaction had been, because Willow’s midriff baring top hadn’t earned a lecture nor had he felt compelled to toss a shirt over Cordelia’s equally revealing halter. He just hadn’t want to share Buffy with the rest of the world.

And so he’d lost his chance to Angel, who apparently had not made stupid remarks about her choice of attire. He hated feeling that he had to stand back and give Angel first chance. He was certain Angel didn’t really love her like he did, wouldn’t be half as good to her, even if he had seemed remotely sincere tonight.

He remembered the way she looked up at him and told him he had beautiful eyes as they sat in the porch swing. His heart had beat a little faster and he’d been helpless to do anything but hold her on that dance floor when she commanded his performance. He closed his eyes remembering how good that had felt, holding her close, her tucked against him. She fit against him so perfectly. His mind drifted, imagining what it would be like to have her curled here beside him, making love to him beneath the stars.

He couldn’t believe he’d kissed her. Just walking away as if it were some other dance, some random girl hadn’t seemed right. He’d inhaled her sweet fragrance and knew he needed just one touch, one kiss, before he could let her go to be with Angel. In some ways, it was as much of a good-bye as that light kiss he’d given her three years ago had been. He’d softly nuzzled against her, controlling his urge to push her farther into the darkened corner and unleash the passion simmering beneath the surface between them. Something about the way she’d stared into his eyes had almost made him think she’d have gone along with it, she was as much in the moment, in the little bubble their dance had created, as he was.

But some instinct had told him at the last minute to not push things. So he’d settled for that soft kiss, the barest tease of lips on lips. He hadn’t been able to resist tasting her briefly, sampling the fullness of her lower lip. He’d tried to play it off as he backed away, with his welcome home, how much that kiss had affected him. But he’d known, as soon as he pulled back, that if he stayed one second more in her presence, held one more gaze into her hazel depths, he would do something rash. Like pick her up and leave the sodding party, Angel, and her little buddies and bring her to his place, to show her just how much he loved her. But he hadn’t. Instead, he’d run off like a fool.

Spike sighed and rolled over. Maybe he should call and make sure they got home all right. He looked at the clock. 2:45 AM. That was a little late, but the party had probably just begin to wind down. He’d left pretty early. They has probably just got there, he rationalized as he reached for the phone.

2:30 AM - Buffy and Willow’s Room

"Did Buffy get smoochies?" The question hung in the air as Buffy laughed and blushed slightly.

"Yeah, he kissed me right before he left, just a little smooch really, not much to talk about. And come to think of it, he gave me a little peck on the nose too. I mean, no full liplocks, no tongue. I wasn’t, that impressed, it didn’t leave me as tingly as when Sp..."

Buffy simultaneously realized what she’d been saying and that Willow had already heard too much.

"Spike kissed you? Oh my, my. We are back in Sunnydale a week and Buffy Summers is becoming the kiss slut. Two boys in one night. How did that happen? When? Where was I when all this kissage was occurring?"

Buffy realized she was blushing still. She really hadn’t meant to share with Willow about Spike’s kiss. For some reason she didn’t want to discuss it and dissect it to death. She just wanted it to be. She tried to redirect the conversation.

"Well, Angel just kissed me out on the steps after you vanished at the front door, and he pecked me on the nose after we danced the first time. It was very, what’s the word, ….. chaste, very proper. I was a little surprised to tell you the truth, after Cordy’s little Casanova speech. Aside from a little bump and grind, he was quite the gentleman, you know?"

"Wonderful, Buffy. But you are avoiding the question. I want to know about this Spike smooch."

"Willow, it was just a welcome home kiss. I bugged Spike to dance with me and he said he couldn’t dance. So I dragged him out for a slow song, ‘cause anyone can dance to that. It was, well, it was good, Will. It was very nice. And then, as the end, he just gave me one of those little Eskimo kisses, you know, he rubbed his nose against mine, then he kissed me, just a peck really.

Her hand unconsciously reached up to touch her lips.

"I’m sure it was just a brotherly welcome home kind of thing, like when we left for England."

"OK Buffy, first, brothers don’t kiss their sisters on the mouth as a general rule, especially not at your age, unless you live in the backwoods and your family tree only has one branch. Second, what do you mean like when we left for England? Spike kissed you before we went for England? What’s going on with the two of you?"

"Nothing Willow. He gave me those bears, remember, the night before we left? Well he just gave me a little good-bye kiss then too. It wasn’t like a sexy kiss, it was just kind of a ‘I’m sad my best friends leaving’ kiss. And tonight, I think it was the same. He’s glad I’m back. I’m glad I’m back. I mean, Will, you’ve always been my best female friend, but Spike was always my best male friend. And I’ve missed him so much. So it was just a way to say we’re glad we’re back together and still friends. That’s it. Nothing else."

"If you say so Buffy." Willow privately thought that had to be the biggest pile of BS she’d ever heard in her life. "I’m sorry Angel wasn’t more exciting to you. He probably just didn’t want to be too pushy. He did seem really into you though. I’m sure you guys will have a great time on your date."

Just then the phone rang, causing both girls to jump. Willow was closest and leaned over to retrieve the receiver.

"Summers-Rosenburg residence."

"Willow? Hey, I didn’t wake you up, did I?"

"Spike? No, Buffy and I were still up chatting. Great party tonight, by the way. You guys really know how to throw a bash."

"Thanks, Red. I’m sorry to ring so late, I really just wanted to make sure you got home okay. And you say Buffy’s there as well?

"Yeah, hang on you can talk to her."

Before Spike could protest, Willow was shoving the phone at Buffy, who stared at the receiver as though it might bite her. She hadn’t expected to talk with him tonight. What if he mentioned the kiss? What would she say?

Slightly panicked, she took the phone.

"Hello, Spike?"

"Buffy? Hey pet, sorry to bother you ladies, just wanted to make sure Goldilocks didn’t get eaten by the Big Bad Wolf before she made it home."

"No, no fairy tale monsters tonight and we are home safe and sound, all tucked up in bed."

"Great. Well, sorry again to ring you so late. I didn’t mean to bother you, I’ll let you snuggle up there and get some rest."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for checking on us Spike. It’s nice to know we have someone whose looking out for us despite my little rampage in the coat closet tonight."

"No problem pet, that’s what I’m hear for." He fought to keep the trace of bitterness out of his voice as they said their good-byes and hung up the phone.

He felt at ease knowing they’d gotten home all right, but Buffy’s words gnawed at him. He was a hopeless case. She wasn’t interested in him and the sooner he could let it go the better. He clicked off his lamp and proceeded to stare at the wall, hoping sleep would block out the pain.

Buffy returned the phone to the cradle, avoiding Willow’s expectant expression.

"He just wanted to make sure we were okay." She didn’t really have to fake the yawn she made. "Guess I’ll get ready for bed. Night Willow."

She grabbed her toothbrush and soap and hurried to the bathroom. Her heart had jumped a little when she heard his voice on the line, but it felt heavier mow. He was just checking up on his girls. His little charges he wanted safe. Despite her earlier comments to Willow, she had wondered if maybe that kiss had been more than a friendly welcome. But that brief conversation seemed to indicate that wasn’t the case. She finished her nightly preparations and slipped quietly back into the dorm room, snapping off the lamp. In the quiet of the room, she reached for William Bear and cradled it to her, kissing the tip of its nose foolishly as she drifted off to a troubled sleep.

4:00 AM Angel’s Room

Cordelia sighed as she stretched beside Angel.

"You haven’t lost you touch, big guy."

He leaned up on one elbow.

"Spill Cordelia, I need to know where to start."

"OK, first shocker. Angel, Buffy’s still a virgin."

He stared at her in disbelief.

"Cordy, you aren’t serious? All that time wandering around Europe and she didn’t have a single fling, a one-night stand, a brief romance? No way."

"Apparently not. I mean Giles was there most of the time and you know how overprotective he is. He’s like Spike, only worse. By the way, what are you going to do about Spike? Is he going to let you romance his Buffy?"

"I think I got that one covered already. I gave him a little talk tonight, all man to man, I’m asking permission to call on your sister crap. I promised my intentions were honorable, etc."

"Angel, he knows about your philandering as much as any of us. You still use his place sometimes to bring women to."

"Yeah, I know. We can’t meet there anymore, obviously. But that’s the beauty of it. I don’t think that Spike knows about us. He’s been busy with stuff and we’ve always been pretty discreet. I doubt he even cares enough to notice. We’re old friends, people expect us to hang out. So as long as we’re careful and don’t flaunt it, he’ll never know. And since I’m giving up the other women, he’ll think I’m serious about Buffy. Works perfectly."

"Do you think he’s so overprotective because he thinks he’s family? Or do you think something else is going on? He was dancing with her tonight, Angel. I saw them together, after you snuck off with Darla. If that was brotherly affection, the way he was holding onto her, there’s some incest in that family."

"You think so? Well I don’t think I have anything to worry about. I’m turning the Angel charm full blast on Ms. Summers. She’s never going to know what hit her. Besides, Spike’s probably gay. When was the last time you saw him with a woman? Drusilla?"

"I don’t think he’s gay, Angel. I think he’s got it bad for somebody. I mean, Spike’s very hot. I’d do him."

Angel stared at her.

"Don’t give me that look. You’re all big and muscley, but Spike, well, you’ve seen him in those Speedos, haven’t you? Let’s just say if he ever acted interested, I won’t turn him down. I’d like to see what he’s like in bed. I bet he’s creative."

"Whatever, Cordelia."

"I’m just saying, you better watch him. Spike could have women, hell, he could probably have men too. He doesn’t go for anyone. He’s either still hung up on Dru, or he’s nursing a very long-burning flame for someone else. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s Buffy."

"Well, thanks for the heads up, Ms. Relationships Expert. I think I’ll be fine. Buffy danced with Xander tonight too. She didn’t seem all that hung up on him. But she was definitely into me."

"Fine. Whatever. I’m sure you’re right. Start sounding out Wesley for me Monday at practice, OK. And you are driving me home. It’s after 4:00, if we go now, on one will see us together. We’ll work out arrangements on the way."

"Buffy, wait up." She turned as she walked down the steps of the building, slightly shell-shocked from the first class.

"Spike, hey, how are you doing?" Buffy hoped she wasn’t visibly blushing. She hadn’t seen him since the other night and she didn’t want to act awkward around him about what happened.

"Pretty good. Do you have class in here now?"

"Just finished actually, Business Calc. I know it’s a wimpy class to math and science types but it’s so hard for me. I’m just clueless about it."

"Yeah, I remember that Calculus could be a little tricky."

"So you’ve had it already."

"Yeah, well, not the business version, but I had it a couple of years ago. Just think of it as plugging in numbers."

He continued to walk with her as she headed back towards the dorm.

"Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask you about something. Is there anything going on with Willow and Xander? He dropped by yesterday evening and it was Willow said this and Willow did that. I don’t think I’ve heard Xan talk about a girl that much in a very long time."

"Really? Willow’s going to be so excited to hear that. I think there is definitely something brewing between the two of them. You know she’s always had a crush on him, even when we were back in junior high. I’m so glad he’s noticing her now. She was a little nervous about things, but it sounds like it might be working out." Buffy replied.

Spike nodded his agreement, then moved to a less welcome topic, but one he desperately wanted to know.

"Yeah, speaking of that pet, did Angel walk you home like he promised?"

Buffy suddenly found the architecture of the foreign language building ahead very interesting. "Yes. He actually walked the group back."

"So everything went all right, he treated you proper?" Spike prodded.

"He was very polite, Spike. In fact, he asked me out for Friday." Buffy bristled a little at the tone in his voice. Here we go again, Mr. Overprotective.

"Oh really." His voice grew quiet. "And did you accept?"

"Yes." Why did she feel so bad telling him about her date with Angel? She used to could tell him anything at all.

"Well, I’m happy for you both, Goldilocks. Looks like you and Red both are getting to make good on those little crushes you’ve nursed for so long." Spike realized there was more than a little bitterness in his tone. "You let me know if he ever gets out of line, all right? I’d better dash, don’t want to be late to my next class."

And then suddenly, he was gone, leaving her feeling cold despite the warm sunlight.

Buffy slammed the book shut.

"Willow, I don’t mean to be a total dunce here, but this stuff is like Greek to me. I knew I should have taken a math class last year. I haven’t so much as glanced at anything more complicated than balancing my checkbook since we finished high school, how on earth am I ever going to be able to do this stuff?"

"Oh, Buffy, it’ll come back. Here let me see if I can help you."

Over an hour later, Willow finally gave up. "Buffy, I don’t think I’m going to be able to help. I don’t know any other way to explain it. You really have a block with this stuff. Why don’t you check with the math lab on campus? Maybe they can find somebody who’ll click with you. Or you could ask Spike. Didn’t he help you with your math homework in high school? He seemed to be able to get you through Algebra, maybe he could help with this?"

Buffy mulled that one over. She wasn’t entirely sure Spike would want to help her. He’d seemed pretty dismissive earlier today. Maybe she should just call the lab. She returned to her struggles.

Buffy felt near to tears by the time she exited Olin Hall on Wednesday. Stupid math. That’s what computers and accountants were for. She didn’t intend to solve strange problems involving bridges or apples or whatever stupid example they threw at her. She knew she was overreacting, but she had been mortified when the professor had called on her to solve the first and apparently easiest problem, and she had been unable to even get the setup anywhere close to right. She definitely was going to need a tutor.

"Buffy, wait up."

Buffy turned at the sound of a familiar voice. "Xander, hey, buddy. Haven’t seen you in a few days. How are you doing?"

"Good Buffy. Listen do you have a minute, I need to talk with you about something."

Buffy smiled as they found a empty bench along the quad and sat down. She was pretty sure she knew where this was headed.

"Buffy, does Willow ever mention me?"

This was just too cute. She felt like she needed to write a little Xander note:

Dear Willow,
Do you like me?
Check yes or no.
Xander

…. and pass it to Will, then return the note with the yes box checked, so they could just move on with things.

"Xander, I’m going to have to know a little about why you’re asking to be able to answer that."

He colored slightly. "Well, I, I’d like to ask her out. On a date. Not just as friends. But like a real date. Where I pick her up and stuff."

Buffy stopped him before he babbled his way through the entire evening.

"Xander, do you really like Willow? I’m mean are you serious about this? Because I don’t want her to get her feelings hurt."

Xander looked at her. "Buffy, I am serious. I’m not saying I’m going to propose or anything, but I really want to go out with her. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt Willow, you know that."

Buffy smiled. "Very well, I just needed to double check. In answer to your question, she talks about you all the time."

Xander broke into a huge grin. "Really? That’s great. I mean, we had a lot of fun the other night, but I didn’t know if it was just me and then I ran into her Sunday and we talked for like hours."

Buffy impulsively hugged him. "Oh Xander, I hope things will work out for you guys, you are two of my favoritest people on the planet. But remember, you hurt her and I’ll have to kill you - got it?"

"Aye, aye, Captain."

"Hey Harris, are you macking on my girl?"

Both Buffy and Xander turned to see Angel approaching. His girl? Buffy stared at Angel, a little put off at this general announcement, like he was claiming her or something. They hadn’t even officially gone out yet.

Angel walked up to the pair and threw his arm around Buffy. Xander looked from Buffy to Angel and then threw a mock punch at his friend. "You sly dog, you, when did the two of you hook up? Was it at the party? I thought I heard someone in your room getting a little action when I went up to grab something from my room."

Angel stiffened slightly against Buffy. "Oh, that wasn’t me, Xander. Somebody else must have been using my room - since it has a working lock and everything. No, Buffy has just agreed to go out with me on Friday night."

Xander looked at the two of them again. He was pretty sure he’d seen Darla coming out of Angel’s room and he’d definitely bragged about his little beach encounter with her the week before. But whatever. Angel was pretty easy come and easy go with women. He let it drop.

"Well, congratulations, you two. Buffy, you never said a word."

Buffy continued to smile, but she couldn’t help but wonder about Xander’s comment. She glanced down at her watch.

"Thanks, Xander. Oh guys, I’ve got to dash or I’ll be late for my next class. Xander, good luck with Willow. Angel, call me and let me know what we’re doing on Friday, okay? Bye guys." She shrugged out from under his arm and walked to her next class, a small seed of doubt taking root about this thing with Angel.

Buffy waited outside the auditorium as Giles concluded his lecture and the students streamed out. He finished answering the questions of the students who had gathered near the front at the end and then moved over to where she was standing.

"Hey Giles, how was your class?"

"It was good, Buffy. The lectures are generally just that, very little discussion in a class this size, but they all seem quite attentive. I have a wonderful seminar group this semester as well. How were your first few days of classes? Jenny said you called the other night, I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk with you."

"Oh that’s okay, it was just some girl talk. How are you two?"

Giles looked slightly embarrassed, but his tone was proud as he replied, "We’re doing quite well actually. I’m just wondering why I waited so long now. I’m so fortunate someone didn’t win her heart while I was gone."

Buffy squeezed his arm. "I’m so glad you too are finally together for real. I always knew you were perfect for each other."

They continued down the hallway and exited the building.

"Giles, did you guys have plans tonight? I was wondering if I could bum a ride with you. I forgot a few things I need and I thought we might could have dinner if you and Jenny aren’t busy."

"No, that’d be wonderful Buffy. I think Jenny had said she wanted to eat in tonight, I know she’ll love for you to join us. I’ll drive you back to campus after dinner or bring you back in the morning, if you’d rather. I need to be on campus early."

They made their way to Giles’ car and continued to fill each other in on the weekend and the first few days of school as they drove.

When they pulled into the drive, Buffy quickly ran up the stairs to the door. "Jenny? I’ve come for dinner."

Jenny appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Buffy? How are you doing? You can stay for dinner?"

"If it’s not a problem?"

"No, I made plenty. I’m so glad to see you." She pulled Buffy in for a quick hug before she settled in on one of the stools to nibble at the salad sitting on the table.

Giles followed Buffy into the kitchen and came around for a quick kiss from Jenny before leaving to change clothes and drop his books off in his study. Buffy drank in the sight of the two of them together, so clearly in love. She really hoped she could find what they had one day, preferably before she was their age. Jenny turned back to her as Giles left the room.

"Isn’t he a sweetie? So, how are classes? Everything going well?"

"They’re all good except for this stupendously hard math class. I’m just lost in there, Jenny. I have this huge mental block and I’m going to really have a problem, I think. Willow tried to tutor me, but it didn’t help."

"Why don’t you ask William? He helped you in high school, didn’t he?"

"That’s what Willow said." Buffy looked away. "I don’t want to bother him, Jenny. I mean, I know he’s really busy this semester."

"Buffy, I know he’d love to help you. Why don’t you at least ask? How about I’ll call him after dinner and tell him you’ll drop by for just a minute to discuss it, okay?"

"You really think he wouldn’t mind? He really did help a lot in high school. It always made sense when he explained things. Maybe I can do his laundry for him or something?"

"See, I like that - bartering for service. You have an entrepreneurial spirit. I know I’m going to love having you work at the gallery. Now let’s talk about your hours and the kinds of things you’ll be doing."

They continued to discuss the gallery and Buffy’s new job as they finished preparing dinner together.

After dinner, as Buffy put the last of the dishes away, she ran up to her room to grab a few items she’d forgotten when moving that she wanted to take back to campus. As she came back down the stairs, Giles appeared around the corner.

"Ready to head back to campus, dear? Jenny says you need to stop by and see William about him tutoring you in math?’

"I guess. She thinks he won’t mind helping me, so I probably should talk with him. Do you know where he lives?’

"Oh yes, it’s actually right on the edge of campus, you know that small neighborhood off of Country Club Road? He has a little loft over one of the houses. I can drop you off and I’m sure he won’t mind seeing you home. Jenny’s going to call him right now."

Buffy found Jenny in the living room and gave her a quick hug before grabbing her bookbag and the satchel she’d packed.

Just as they reached the car, Buffy glanced across the street and saw Xander coming out of his house.

"Hey Xander? Are you going back towards campus?"

"Hey Buffy, Giles. How are you guys tonight? Yeah, I just had to drop something off for my mom and I’m driving back over now. You need a ride?"

"Would you mind? Then Giles won’t have to take me back over. Only I’m actually going to Spike’s to see if he can help me with my math class."

"No problem, that’s even closer to the house. I can drop you off."

Giles interrupted. "Are you sure you don’t mind, Xander? I can drop Buffy off if it’s an inconvenience."

"Nope, it’s really on my way. Buffster, grab your bags and we’ll boogie."

"Thanks, Xander. I’ll see you later, Giles. Thanks for dinner." She grabbed him a quick hug and pecked his cheek, then ran across the street.

Giles watched as the pair climbed into Xander’s car and drove away, then quickly turned back to the house. Now, maybe he could surprise Jenny.

He quietly slid open the door and approached the living room stealthily. He saw Jenny with her back to him and slipped up behind her, sliding his arms around her and cupping her breasts as he nibbled at her neck. Jenny dropped the phone she’d been dialing and gave a short scream.

"Rupert?"

"Yes, my love?"

She turned quickly. "You nearly gave me a heart attack. Where’s Buffy?"

"Xander’s giving her a ride back to campus. I guess that gives us a little extra time to play tonight." He grinned at her wickedly as his hands continued to roam over her. Jenny quickly began working the buttons of his shirt loose, thankful she had closed the blinds earlier. She knew the neighbors were gossiping about them, at least they wouldn’t give them the full show. Her phone call to Spike was forgotten as she slid Giles’ shirt from his shoulders.

"So, I called Willow this afternoon and we’re going out on Friday. Listen, I was wondering, would you want to maybe make it a double date, since you’re going out with Angel then?"

"That would be cool." Buffy was secretly relieved at the suggestion. Maybe things would be less awkward with the four of them together. She didn’t feel entirely comfortable with Angel, their phone conversations had been short and she was nervous at the prospect of a whole evening of stilted attempts at dialogue.

"Good. I’ll mention it to Angel tonight. I thought maybe dinner and then we could go see a movie or go bowling or something after."

"Sounds good. I’m glad you guys worked things out."

"Well, its cool about you and Angel, too. He’s a great guy, Buffy and he seems pretty taken with you. Looks like he may be done sowing his wild oats."

Buffy gave him a strange look at the last comment, but replied, "Yeah, I know. I’m a lucky girl."

Xander pulled his car into the small driveway beside Spike’s. "Well here we are. Just go up those stairs on the side to get to Spike’s place. Is he going to take you home?"

"I think so. Jenny was calling him when we left. Thanks for the ride, Xander. I’ll see you on Friday, if not before."

Buffy exited the door and waved as he drove off, then grabbed her bags and mounted the stairs. She was a little nervous about asking the favor, but her curiosity about seeing Spike’s place overrode that.

She reached the top and knocked softly on the door. She waited a minute, then knocked harder. Suddenly, the door was opened to reveal Spike standing before her. "What do you want, oh… Buffy. Hey luv, I wasn’t expecting you. Come in."

Buffy stared. Spike was shirtless, wearing only a pair of loose athletic shorts which rode low on his waist. His hair was tousled into soft curls and he was the most beautiful thing she thought she’d ever seen. She sincerely hoped she wasn’t drooling.

He suddenly realized that she was fixated on his bare chest and hadn’t moved since he’d opened the door, so he hastily grabbed a t-shirt that was laying across the back of the couch and slung it on as he turned back to her. He couldn’t help but feel a little pride at her obvious admiration of him, he was only human after all. But what on earth was she doing here?

Buffy shook herself out of her daze and moved into the room, closing the door behind her and taking in the surroundings. She admired the simplicity of the place and the neat groupings that divided the flow of the space into separate areas.

"Wow, Spike, your apartment’s very cool, can I get the grand tour?"

He was still confused as to why she was here, but he didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. The more time with her the better.

"Sure pet. But you’re okay, aren’t you? I mean, everything’s all right?"

"Everything’s fine. Oh, did Jenny not call yet? I though she would have by now."

He shook his head. "No, is something wrong with her?"

"No she’s fine, she was just going to call and tell you I was going to drop by. I had a favor I needed to ask."

"Ask away."

Buffy looked slightly embarrassed.

"I really hate to bother you with this. I know you are really busy with stuff this year and if you don’t have time, I totally understand. It’s just that math class, you know the one I was coming out of when I ran into you Monday? Spike, I’m so lost in there. I don’t even know where to start and I just don’t understand when Willow explains it to me. Jenny thought you might be able to help, you were so good at explaining math to me in high school. Please Spike? I’m willing to barter. Make a trade? What do you want in return?"

The question hung in the air and the many possible answers to the offer surfaced in both their minds. Spike had known as soon as she asked that he’d gladly find time to tutor her. But then she’d had to sweeten the pot. What did he want? Her. He couldn’t stifle the impulse to make the obvious reply in a slow, seductive drawl.

"I don’t know, luv, what are you offering?"

Buffy found herself coloring again as his words immediately conjured up images of her performing sexual favors for him. Where had that come from? She refused to meet his eyes and continued to look at the floor as he laughed softly.

"I’m just giving you a hard time. Of course I’ll be happy to help you."

"Oh no, Spike, I won’t feel right if you don’t let me do something in return. I can do your laundry, or make you dinner on the nights you tutor me or something like that."

"Why, Goldilocks, never pegged you for the domestic type. When did you take up cooking? I remember some fairly disastrous attempts in high school."

"Hey, I thought you liked those biscuits I made."

He laughed at the memory, diffusing some of the tension in the air. "Those were the hardest bread I’ve ever tried to eat. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings when you’d worked so hard on them."

She punched him lightly on the arm. "Thanks a lot. Well, when I say cook, I actually mean pick up the phone and order take-out, but I’m quite skilled at that. And I have gotten better with actual cooking, I’ll have you know."

"Well sounds like a plan then. You can show me your culinary skills and I’ll tutor you once a week. Fair enough?"

"Wonderful. Spike, think you so much, you are truly a lifesaver. Now show me your place."

She checked out his small living room, then he showed her the intricacies of his small kitchen. She complimented him on the coziness of the study area formed by low bookshelves. Then he led her around the screen to his "bedroom" and Buffy gaped at the large bed situated under the skylight.

"Spike, that is so cool. You can see the stars! That’s way better than those little glow in the dark things I use to have on my ceiling."

She resisted the urge to comment on the size of the bed itself, with its decadent crimson satin comforter. She headed towards the only door to check out the bathroom.

He laughed as she stared at the tub. "Can I move in with you? I mean right now? This is the coolest bathroom. Spike, you have a tub. An honest to goodness tub that you could actually soak in. I am so jealous. I think I love bubble baths almost as much as chocolate and that tub just begs for Calgon."

He smothered the images of Buffy frolicking naked in bubbles in said tub as he ushered her back to the main room.

"Well, pet, you ever want to make use of it, let me know and you can come over and soak. In point of fact, what don’t I just give you a key? That way you can study here whenever you want. It’s usually very quiet and you can get away from the dorm when you need to and let yourself in on our study night if I’m not here yet."

"You sure you don’t mind?" Buffy frowned, worried that it would be too intrusive to just pop in whenever she wanted.

"No. I had all the locks changed a few years ago, had a little incident with too many people passing around my keys. Now the only people with keys are Xander and Angel, who have strict instructions not to loan them out. You’re welcome to one, pet. I don’t mind you using the place at all."

"Are you sure it won’t," she paused, unsure how to phrase this without being nosy, "cramp your style if I were to show up unexpectedly?"

He realized what she was fishing for. "No Buffy, there’s nothing you can walk in on that would embarrass you. No girlies running ‘round, if that’s what you are getting at."

Buffy smiled at his words, secretly pleased at the confirmation that Spike didn’t have a girlfriend.

"Thank you then. I think I will take that key. I’m sorry to drop in on you so unexpectedly tonight. I hate to ask you this, but it nearly 10:00PM. Would you mind walking me home?

"Sure. We’re actually really close to Stevenson, if we take this little shortcut, but don’t be doing this at night by yourself."

He grabbed her bag and a flashlight and ushered her out the door, locking it behind him. He showed her the side street that paralleled the campus behind the dorms, and the small path though the woods that allowed them to cut across to the campus directly.

"I had no idea you were so close. That’s less than a ten minute walk. You better watch out, Spike, now that I know where you are, I’m going to be popping up all the time," she teased.

"Fine by me pet. You know you are always welcome. When do you want to start working on your calc?"

"Could we tomorrow night? I have class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and I’d love to be prepared for the next class"

"Sounds good. Bout sixish? That should be before dark and I’ll walk you home afterwards."

"Great. Thank you again, Spike, for everything."

"Goodnight, Goldilocks."

She watched him saunter away as she closed the door to the dorm. Despite a few awkward moments, that had gone well. She was excited, she’d see him again tomorrow night. It was almost like old times, when they would hang out with each other nearly every day after school. She mounted the stairs to tell Willow about her tutoring arrangements and the proposed double date for Friday.

The next few weeks found Buffy settling in and a rhythm of sorts developed in her life. She worked at the gallery on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, enjoying the chance to explore the variety of art Jenny carried and learn more about the business. She’d had a few more dates with Angel on the Friday nights he wasn’t traveling with the football team, and met with Spike for tutoring every Wednesday. She and Willow had agree to rush for Cordy’s sorority and were accepted, as predicted. Buffy soon added Monday night meetings at the house to her slate of activities. She enjoyed being part of the group, but still preferred hanging out with her old friends over everything else.

She found herself popping over to Spike’s place more and more often as the weeks past, for a quiet place to study and hang out and she soon shared his Passions addiction, watching his nightly tape with him. He started leaving the episodes for her to catch up on when she’d miss a night or couldn’t come by. She felt deprived when something came up to keep her from dropping by his place for their nightly ritual.

He always seemed glad to see her and she realized he’d been right, he was a big part of what she’d been missing for the last three years as well. She found that she was reluctant to share that she was spending so much time with him, even with Willow. Will knew about the Wednesday night tutoring, but she thought Buffy was studying at the library most other nights, and Buffy hadn’t really tried to dispel the notion.

She didn’t know why she didn’t want to talk about it with Willow or Jenny, she just didn’t think they’d understand, that they’d tried to put a label on them or categorize their relationship in some way. She didn’t know what their relationship was exactly, and she didn’t really want to, because she liked things as they were. Being at Spike’s place with just him, with no one else in the world knowing where she was, was like being in a soft, safe cocoon where everything in her universe was all right.

<><><><>

Late September arrived. Buffy and Willow were studying in companionable silence in their room, preparing for a round of quizzes that several professors had popped up with as the semester progressed. At least, the studying started out in silence. Buffy realized that Willow was doing that little tap-tap-tap thing with her pencil that she did when she needed to talk about something.

Willow finally stopped the tapping. "Buffy, I have a huge favor to ask. You aren’t, by any chance, going home for the weekend, are you?"

Buffy looked at her in confusion. "I hadn’t planned on it. Angel offered to take me to the movies, some new action flick I think. Why?"

"Well, I guess I was wondering, if it would be possible for me to have the room Friday night."

"Oh. Ohhhh. You and Xander? You guys are moving right along there, eh Will?"

"I know. And I really want him to spend the night, you know, afterwards. But obviously we can’t go to my house or his parents, they’re both around and that feels too much like sneaking around in high school. And he has his own room at the frat house, but the walls are pretty thin and the other guys are all nosy. So this seems like the best locale. But I feel bad kicking you out of the room, I just thought you might be going anyway. That’s okay, we’ll find somewhere else."

"Willow. Stop. It’s fine. I’m working at the gallery on Saturday anyway. I’ll just get Angel to drop me off at Giles’ house, instead of here. I hope you guys have a good time."

"Thank you Buffy, I really appreciate it."

Buffy and Angel exited the movie theater, carrying the remains of a huge tub of buttered popcorn.

"Well that was interesting. I had no idea one could crash a car that many different ways."

"You mean you didn’t like the car chases? And there were so many. Women….you just don’t get it."

She punched him lightly on the arm and then looped her arm in his as they headed for his car. As usual, she’d had a nice time with Angel.

Nice. Such a boring adjective and yet the best one to describe their dates. He was always super polite, very charming, opened doors, and so on. She should really be grateful that she’d lucked out in finding a good guy to date so quickly after coming back to Sunnydale. She didn’t know what was wrong with her, maybe she just needed to work harder at this relationship.

"Oh, Angel, I almost forgot. Can you actually drop me off at Giles’, instead of the dorm tonight? I’m going to spend the night there."

"Sure thing." He’d drove her to the old neighborhood, covertly checking his watch and the time. She wondered about that. He always seemed to check his watch as the date grew later. She wondered if there was some rule about how long a date should be that she didn’t know about.

As he pulled into Giles’ driveway, she quietly got out, after a quick goodnight kiss and walked to the front door as he pulled away. The house was dark and silent and she tried to be mouse-like in creeping in, so as not to disturb the sleeping Giles.

Then suddenly she realized there was music playing in the family room. She walked quietly down the hall and stopped dead, just short of the doorway.

Dancing in front of her, to some sort of soulful blues tune, were a very naked Jenny and Giles, bodies intertwined as they swayed to the music. Buffy clapped her hand to her eyes as she backed as quietly as she could down the hallway, certain they hadn’t seem her, as wrapped up in each other as they were. She managed to get the front door closed and relocked it, before she collapsed on the front step.

She was afraid she might be permanently scarred for life. Naked Giles and Naked Jenny all wrapped around each other. As much as she adored them both and as happy as she was for them, she had not needed to see that. She shuddered, seeing one’s parents, or parent substitutes in her case, getting a happy simply should never happen. She regained her composure and reached for her cell phone.

She tried Angel’s phone, thinking that he couldn’t have gotten far, and he could surely could come back and pick her up. She was puzzled when she got nothing but voice mail, so she left him a message to call her back. He must have shut his phone off. She hated to call Willow and Xander and mess up their special evening. She thought some more. Spike! Of course! He’d come get her and he could properly sympathize about the impact of this on her. She couldn’t wait to tell him.

Quickly she dialed his cell, which he answered over a dull roar in the background.

"Spike? Where are you?"

"Buffy?" He covered his other ear with his hand in an attempt to block out more noise and edged away from the stage at the Bronze into the back hallway, where he could hear a little better.

"Buffy? Is that you?"

"Hey Spike - what’s the noise?"

"I’m at the Bronze, pet, there are some new bands up from LA playing tonight, one of my old bandmates called and recommended I come check’em out. They’re pretty good. How are you pet? Everything okay?"

"Actually, I have a little problem I was hoping you could help me with. I hate to interrupt your evening, but is there any way you can come and get me at Giles’ house? You are never going to believe what I just saw."

They finalized the arrangements and Buffy walked down to the end of the street to wait for Spike’s arrival. As soon as he pulled up, she hopped in the car.

"Hey Goldilocks, do you mind coming back to the Bronze with me? They were taking a break between sets when I left to come get you and the band I went to hear is going to play one more time tonight. Do you mind?"

"Not at all. Now let me tell you how I’m scarred for life."

She related what she’d seen and he sympathized with her, agreeing that seeing Giles or Jenny naked would have been quite the shocker. They laughed about it, but each were privately thinking about the sweetness the older couple had found.

"Do you think they are going to get married?" Buffy asked, looking over at Spike.

"I don’t know. She’s almost moved into Giles’ place now. I think they could be happy just as they are, but he’s pretty traditional."

"I know. He made a comment to me the other day about being fortunate that he hadn’t lost her. It makes me think that maybe he wants to make things official. Wouldn’t that be cool, I bet I’d get to be a bridesmaid!" She dimpled at him and he had a vision of Buffy floating down the aisle, dressed in white instead of some pastel fluff.

"Yeah, though I suppose I’d have to wear a nancy-boy tux if they go for the fancy deal. It’d be worth it though, to see the two of them happily ever after."

They pulled up to the Bronze, and entered after Spike played Buffy’s cover charge. The crowd was a little different tonight than on many of the evenings Buffy had hung out here, both as a teenager and since returning to Sunnydale. Clearly the harder sound of the LA bands had drawn in a more diverse group than usual. Spike took her hand in his and led her closer to the stage. He stopped to talk to a few different individuals along the way, and finally found them a position where they could see the bands.

He stood behind her, his hands placed protectively on her shoulders. She recognized the territorial gesture for what it was, a protective measure designed to discourage others from bothering her in the thrashing crowd, but she relished the feel of him behind her as they listened to the bands play. She gradually relaxed back against him, and he smiled down at her, sliding his hands from her shoulders down to her waist, looping his arms across her stomach and resting his chin on her head as they listened to the music. She closed her eyes for a minute, enjoying the cacophony of sounds mixed in with the feel of Spike behind her.

The band finished its last song and Spike led her to the stage, never loosening his grip on her as he chatted with some of the musicians about their set and mutual friends and acquaintances. She briefly realized that standing there with Spike felt natural, she didn’t feel the resentment she sometimes felt when Angel threw his arm around her, clearly marking her as his turf when they were around his teammates or frat brothers.

She thought maybe the difference was in the motivation. With Angel, despite his sweet words, she always worried that maybe she was just something pretty, part of his image. He always wanted her to look good and praised her appearance, but there was little heartfelt emotion behind his words. Whereas Spike, Spike was holding on to her to keep her safe. She didn’t feel like she was on display with him.

She smiled up at him. "Spike, you want me to go get you a drink?" He smiled back, "Sure, just a Coke is fine."

She made her way through the crowd and to the bar, asking for two Cokes. One of the band members who been playing walked up and introduced himself as Jason. She told him her name, not wanting to be rude.

"So Buffy, did you enjoy the show." She agreed politely that she did, but declined Jason’s offer to buy her a drink. He gave off smarmy vibes.

"So you’re with Spike, huh?"

Before she could answer, she felt Spike behind her. He slid his arms around her again and kissed her on the cheek. "Hey, luv, this bloke bothering my girl?" She could almost hear the growl in Spike’s voice as he glared at Jason.

"No, man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend. Sorry, my bad." Jason grabbed his beer and walked away.

Spike pulled away from her. "You ready to go? I think the bands I wanted to hear are done for the night." She agreed, but could still feel his stiffness as she followed him outside.

Once in the car, she patted his shoulder. "Spike, it’s okay. Calm down. All he did is ask me to have a drink."

He sighed as he put the key in the ignition, "I know, but I hated him looking at you like you were a piece of meat, some band groupie, who’d jump from my arms to his like a lot of the girls there tonight."

"I know Spike, but really, it’s fine." She slid across the seat and leaned her head against his shoulder. ‘I’m just glad you were there to come to my rescue. He was a little creepy."

He began the drive back to campus. Buffy was clearly tired out, it was after 3:00AM and she was soon drowsing against Spike as he drove. Before long he pulled up to Stevenson Hall and gently shook her awake.

"Buffy, wake up, luv. You’re home."

She pulled herself upright, something niggling in the back of her mind. She glanced up at the window to her room and could see some lights still flickering behind the shade. Xander and Willow. In her room. Having their special night. Clearly still doing so. She gulped. "Spike, I think I have a problem."

She turned to face him. "See, the reason I went to Giles’ tonight was because Willow asked if she could have the room to herself. She and Xander wanted some alone time and our room, minus me, seemed the most private place. So I agreed, not thinking that I’d run into the same situation at home. But look at the window. I think they may still be, um busy, and I can’t walk in there. What am I going to do?"

Spike turned the key back on. "Just come back to my place. I’ll take the couch and you can have the bed. Give you a chance to check out the stars, like I knowing you’ve been dying to do.’

She laughed and agreed. She had been fascinated by that bed ever since she’d first laid eyes on it.

They reached Spike’s place and mounted the stairs. He pawed through one of his dresser drawers and came up with an old t-shirt and pair of boxers for her to sleep in. She exited into the bathroom and quickly changed, making a small neat pile of her clothes for in the morning. She came out to find his bed turned down for her and Spike curled on the small couch. She walked over to where he lay, legs draped over the arms of the couch.

"Spike, that has got to be the most uncomfortable thing in the world. You look like you’re in pain. Get up and let me sleep there."

"I’m fine." He closed his eyes and attempted to roll over, but the narrowness of the couch prevented this without much maneuvering.

She pulled his covers off and carried them back to the bed with her.

"Spike, this is ridiculous. Get up or I’m going to pour cold water on you. I can’t sleep when you look that uncomfortable."

He stood up. He didn’t really want her to sleep on the couch. She was right, it was incredibly uncomfortable. So that left the option of someone on the floor or them sharing his bed. What the hell, he liked torture.

"Fine. Come to bed, Buffy."

She started for the now vacant couch.

"Nope. You aren’t sleeping there either. You’ll be just as bad off as I was. The bed is big, we are both adults, and there is no reason why we can’t both sleep there."

She stared at him for a long minute, her hands still full of his bedding, then she tossed it on the couch and returned to the bed. He stared at the sight of her crawling across the crimson comforter, her golden skin contrasted by its rich color and reconsidered his offer for a brief moment.

Could he do this? He could. It wasn’t like she was coming to his bed to do more than sleep for a few hours. She was here as a friend, because she needed a place to stay. She’d even been on a date with another man earlier this evening. He breathed deeply, then turned out the light as he slid under the covers as well.

He felt a hand touch him on the shoulder lightly and he turned to find her facing him in the glow of the moonlight.

"Thank you Spike. For letting me stay here, for coming to get me tonight, for sharing the bed with me. And the stars are beautiful from here." She gave him a light squeeze, then broke contact and rolled away to the safety of her side of the bed.

He let out the breath he’d been holding, relieved she hadn’t touched him more than she had. He didn’t know if he could have resisted her if she’d made the slightest move towards him. This, in a twisted sense, was one of his favorite fantasies. He’d take Buffy out to a club, show her the music he liked, have a perfect evening together, then come back here where he could make love to her under the stars, watching the moonlight dance across her body as he worshipped her. He’d gotten bits and pieces of that tonight, enough to make it hard to sleep peacefully next to her, knowing what he needed to make his life complete lay inches from him.

He didn’t know what they were playing at these days. She came to see him nearly every night now. He was still tutoring her, sure, but he knew there was more going on. She flirted more with him now. It was subtle, nothing blatant, but her gentle little touches, the way she’d curl up next to him on the couch while they watched television, her hugs when she got excited, all combined were rapidly crossing over beyond friendship in his book.

But she continued to date Angel. They didn’t talk about it, except in the most passing of terms. He’d seen her occasionally on campus, having lunch at a table with Angel, his buddies, and some of the new sorority girls, but he taken to avoiding that area after that, pained at seeing them together. He didn’t think she was really happy with Angel. She didn’t light up when he was mentioned or seem that excited when her cell indicated she had a message from him. She never called Angel back from his place. And she spent her evenings with him.

He remembered the pain of seeing Dru with another man. He didn’t want to break up a relationship that way, to try to seduce Buffy and pull her to him. He wanted her to come to him, free and clear, because she didn’t want anyone else. He had often thought about pushing her on the subject, asking her about Angel, asking her about them, seeing if they could stop with the games. But he always changed his mind. Right now he at least had a part of her, quite a big part and he wasn’t sure what it would do to him if she walked away. So he waited, hoping she’d call things off with Angel and give him the chance.

They had something between them, something so special he didn’t know of anything to compare it to. He saw glimpses of it when he looked at Jenny and Giles now. He thought it was what his mum had felt for the father he’d never known, because he remembered that lost look she’d get sometimes when she’d talk about him, as if part of her was missing. That was what he felt for Buffy. She was his other half and he wanted to be whole so badly.

He stole a glance in her direction, watching the back of her golden head and the curve of her t-shirt covered back for a moment, then looked away. He slowly forced his mind to go blank, knowing he wouldn’t sleep if he kept thinking about her. He rolled away as well, leaving the two of them facing safely in opposite directions as sleep captured them.

His first thought on waking was how warm he felt. He frequently didn’t bother wearing anything when he slept, and he was wearing both a t-shirt and pajama pants. Then he realized the other reason he was so warm was the soft fragrant body which was curled around him. Buffy. He looked down at her head nestled on his chest, her arm firmly curled around his neck and her leg thrown across his. He realized he was holding her as well, one hand tangled in her hair, the other draped across her back.

He closed his eyes again, unwilling to break the moment. She would wake up soon, he would let her go and this little interlude would be over. Best to enjoy while he could, assuming the hard-on which clearly was not paying any attention to his brain didn’t wake her and scare her to death, nudging her like that. He shifted lightly, trying to get a little relief. Better.

Buffy inhaled his scent as unobtrusively as possible as she lay against his chest. She thought he might have woken up just now, but she wasn’t sure. She wanted him to go back to sleep. She liked laying here, cosy and warm with him, snuggled together. If he woke up, he’d pull away and she’d miss the feel of his body, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ears.

From where she lay, she could clearly see the erection he was sporting. An evil little voice inside encouraged her to see if she couldn’t help him out with that. She wondered what he’d do if she reached down, pulled those pants just a little lower and took him in her mouth.

She wasn’t all that experienced, she’d done that maybe twice with Geoff last year, to see what if was like and then on a dare during a stupid drinking game. She wondered if Spike would look like Geoff. Given the size of the tent in his pants, she thought he was probably bigger. Would he feel all velvety smooth under her fingers? Would he jump and twitch if she slid her tongue over his head and sucked….

Whoa there, Buffy. What the hell was she thinking? He’d been nice enough to let her stay here and the next morning all she could think about was jumping on him? The same evil little voice commented that he probably wouldn’t mind, it would be a nice way to say thank you, but she knew that would cross a line and change everything. One didn’t typically wake one’s best friend up by going down on them.

The inner voice echoed again, asking why that change would be so bad. She blocked it out, not ready to analyze why, she just knew she needed Spike’s friendship and she didn’t want to scare him away. Besides, Angel, date, last night. Why had she never had this urge to explore Angel like she suddenly, desperately wanted to with Spike?

She felt him stir and feigned sleepiness as she slowly rolled away.

"Good morning, Spike, I’m sorry if I was crowding you this morning." she said, now safely back on her side of the bed.

He took in the sight of her sleep tousled hair and soft eyes, her face scrubbed free of makeup and thought she’d never looked more beautiful. "You were fine pet. What man doesn’t like to wake up to a gorgeous woman draped across him?"

The words hung in the air as her heart fluttered and she knew she was blushing. He moved closer and she almost thought her heart would stop. He was going to kiss her. He was going to kiss her. Suddenly change didn’t seem that bad.

He leaned in, watching her eyes flutter shut as he approached and fought the urge to attack her lips and roll her under him for a proper good morning snog. He kissed her gently on the forehead instead, then threw back the covers and started for the kitchen, refusing to look back at what he was leaving behind. "Pancakes, pet?" He called back over his shoulder.

Buffy sighed and got up as well. "Yeah, and then would you mind taking me back to Giles? I need to get ready for work. Besides, I think Jenny’s been missing you, she keeps asking why you don’t come to dinner more."

"I know. I’m definitely going this week. You want to come with? I was thinking Tuesday night."

And the morning dissolved into normality as they ate their pancakes.

As the meeting drew to a close, Buffy saw Cordelia across the room with some of the other upperclassman and swiftly made her way to chat with her.

"Hey Cordy, you all set to come to the little get together on Friday for Will’s birthday?"

"Sure am, wouldn’t miss it for the world. How are you guys tonight?" Cordelia looked around, knowing Willow was probably somewhere close by and saw her coming across the room.

"Good. I’m so glad you’re going to be able to come. I know Will is really excited about it." Buffy paused for a minute, hoping she wasn’t being too nosy, then decided to continue. "Cordy, I was going to ask you, Angel mentioned you were seeing a new guy? Who is he?"

Cordelia froze for a moment as she looked at Buffy, trying to gauge whether she knew something about her and Angel’s little assignation or really wanted to know about Wesley.

"Wesley? He’s so sweet. Thank Angel again for setting us up Buffy, that’s a very thoughtful guy you’ve snagged."

Cordelia managed to maintain her composure, told her a little more about Wes, then mentioned needing to talk to one of the sisters and hurried away. She felt immensely guilty for the past few weeks. She knew she shouldn’t have made that deal with Angel. It had been one thing when neither of them were seeing anyone seriously to screw around together. But for all his clever words, she knew there little trysts weren’t fair to either of the people they were with. And she really was starting to have feelings for Wesley. She hated the thought of having to admit what she’d been doing to Buffy, but she needed to find some way to break them up before Angel’s little scheme went much further.

Willow came up as Buffy stared at Cordelia’s retreating back.

"That was weird, did Cordy seem kinda jumpy to you? I wonder is all is not well with this new man?"

"I don’t know, Buffy, maybe she just had stuff to do. You know Cordy, she can be pretty abrupt when she wants to be"

"That’s true." Buffy shrugged and glanced at her watch. "I think I’m just going to head over to the library to study for a little while."

"Buffy, it’s almost nine. I mean, Xander said he’d walk us home, but he won’t stick around, you know you can study in the room. You don’t have to go to the library."

"Oh, I know Will, it’s not that. I just have some stuff I need to read and I have my little quiet carrel in the library, no distractions. I won’t be home late."

"Do you want Xander to walk you? It’s kind of late."

"No, I’m good, it’s all main paths from here, well-lighted. You have a nice stroll home with the Xan-man and I’ll see you later."

Buffy headed out the door, leaving Willow to wait for Xander, who showed up a few minutes later.

"Hey sweetie! Thank you again for the flowers. They’re a little droopy, but I’m going to put them in water as soon as we get back to the dorm."

Xander beamed. "I’m glad the birthday girl likes." He gave her a quick kiss, then looked around. "Where’s Buffy?"

"She’s gone to the library again to study. I swear, she like lives in that place this semester. I mean, she never spent that much time in the library before. Buffy’s never been that into books. I’m the book-worm," she pouted.

"Maybe she likes the quiet."

"I guess. I never can find her there though, when I’ve gone in the evenings. She won’t tell me where her little study area is, it’s always, oh you know, just one of those little carrels."

Xander snorted at her peeved expression. "Willow it’s a huge library, it’s not like you go through every floor. She probably goes to one of the higher floors where she won’t be disturbed. I mean come on, you think Buff’s having clandestine rendezvous with someone or something?"

Willow laughed. "I don’t guess so. Unless she and Angel think sneaking around adds some spice into their relationship. I’m kinda surprised she doesn’t hang with him more, you know? I always figured when Buffy got serious, she’d be a cocooner."

"A cocooner? Is she going to become a butterfly?"

"No silly, cocooners are those couples who bond and do everything together and just hang at home and veg. They get all wrapped up together, like a cocoon."

Xander laughed. "Well, Angel’s pretty busy and so is Buffy. I guess they haven’t had time to cocoon yet. I mean they still go out every weekend, right?"

Willow nodded.

"I’ll be honest, I think Buffy’s set a record with Angel. I don’t think he’s dated a girl for longer than a month at most since we’ve been in college and they are headed on what, two months now?"

"Yeah, that’s right, cause their first date was with us remember?"

"I sure do." Xander pulled her in for another kiss. "Well, I’m glad it’s working out for them as well as it has for us."

"Yeah, I guess so." Willow’s tone expressed doubt, but they had reached Stevenson Hall, and thoughts of Buffy and Angel were forgotten as Willow persuaded Xander to come in for a little while.

Buffy headed off from the Gamma Gamma Phi house, making sure she was out of Willow’s sight before she headed over towards Spike’s. It was nearly nine, his telly time in his daily schedule, and she wanted to watch the day’s episode with him. Tell yourself another one Buffy, you just want to see him, especially since you haven’t talked since he took you home on Saturday.

She hurried down the path and through the woods, using the flashlight she had in her backpack to make her way along the uneven path. Spike would probably yap at her for coming so late by herself. Maybe she could tell him Xander and Willow dropped her off, so he wouldn’t be so fussy. Of course, then that opened a can of worms if Spike mentioned their dropping her off to one of them.

She didn’t know why she felt compelled to always tell Willow she was at the library, but she thought her hanging with Spike all the time could cause confusion and misunderstandings. She felt a little guilty, like maybe she shouldn’t be doing this so often, because of Angel. She’d tried to rationalize that she and Spike were just friends and had never done anything inappropriate, but she knew that if Angel was spending as much time with another girl as she did with Spike, she’d be very upset. She reached the steps to his apartment, telling herself for the millionth time that Spike was different than just any old guy, because of their past history, and knocked on his door, before using her key to enter.

"Hey pet, I wasn’t sure if you were coming tonight, How did the meeting of the sisters go?" He looked up as she came through the door.

"The usual. Blah, blah, sisterhood, blah blah, fundraiser, blah blah, party. I was on autopilot, I figured Will or Cordy will let me know if I’m supposed to do something. You got the tape?"

"Yeah luv, I’ve got it. You’ve become quite the little addict as well." He laughed as she tossed her jacket to the side and curled up next to him on the couch.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’re just as bad. You know you want to see what happens with Chad and Whitney."

They settled in to watch, as the main characters they were rooting for to be together came to the brink of a passionate kiss, but were pulled apart by the arrival of Simone, Whitney’s sister.

"Wow. Good episode. But I’m starting to think they are never going to be together." Buffy turned to grab her bag, missing his expression as he looked at her and responded, "Me too, pet, me too."

She picked up her coat and turned back to him. "I hate to watch and run, but it’s getting late. Are you still going to have dinner with Jenny and Giles tomorrow night?"

"Plan to. I thought I’d drive over about sixish, if that works for you?"

"Sure. Thanks for letting me ride with you."

Buffy lingered at the doorway as he hunted for his flashlight to walk her back.

"Spike?"

"Yes, luv."

"About Friday night. Thank you for letting me stay."

He didn’t turn around and look at her, knowing what his face might reveal. He responded casually as he continued to root in the cabinet, "No problem Goldy, anytime."

"Really?"

He looked up from his search briefly, still slightly distracted by the AWOL light. *Where did the sodding flashlight go to?* He knew he put it in that drawer.

"Would you mind if I stay tomorrow night then?"

He stared at her, startled, the flashlight totally forgotten. Friday night had been a bit of an emergency, her going to Giles’ or her room would have been awkward. But she wanted to plan to stay with him? Was she trying to tell him something?

Buffy continued on as he failed to reply.

"It’s just that you know this is Willow’s birthday week and I thought I’d give her and Xander as much alone time as possible if he wanted to stay with her. And Giles gets to campus late on Wednesdays and I hate for him to have to bring me early, and I can walk home in the morning from here. I won’t bother you. I’ll be quiet and mouse like."

Spike was more than a little disappointed that he was a place to crash rather than someone she wanted to spend the night with. But nonetheless, Buffy voluntarily wanted to share his bed? He wasn’t passing that up, even if it was platonic. And he sensed there was more underlying her words than she let on. He knew Giles would have no problem bringing Buffy to campus in time for her class, if she really wanted to stay at home.

"You’re welcome to stay. I have swim practice early, so I’ll probably be gone before you wake up, but you can lock up when you leave."

Buffy smiled at him and he felt his heart leap. She was softening toward him, he knew it. Little by little he felt he was making progress with her and sooner or later she’d realize Angel was not the man for her. Until then, he could wait and be content for small favors.

"Happy birthday, Willow!" Buffy, Cordy and Spike chorused as Xander opened the door for her to Spike’s apartment filled with balloons and streamers on Friday evening.

"Oh, thank you guys! You didn’t have to, but this is so sweet."

"And look, we even have party hats!" Buffy sat a paper crown on her head, which tilted slightly and proclaimed Birthday Queen..

Willow surveyed the room. Surprisingly, this was the first time she had been to Spike’s place. Quite snug. She asked for the tour and Spike showed her around as Buffy and Xander organized the presents.

"Where’s Angel? I though he was coming?"

"He is, pet. He had a team meeting this afternoon and he said he might run a few minutes late. Don’t you worry, we’re all going to enjoy your birthday party. It’ll be just like old times, all the gang. Course I guess we won’t fight over movies tonight, eh? Birthday girl got her picks?"

Willow laughed and reached into her bag. "Yeah, but you guys are going to hate at least one of them."

"Monty Python. Now that was thoughtful, Will. Did you pick that one so I wouldn’t be miserable?"

She laughed and nodded.

"All right, you softened me up. What am I going to have to endure? There are chick flicks in there, aren’t there?

Willow grinned devilishly. "Well, Xander said I could pick anything. It is my birthday."

She pulled When Harry Met Sally out next. Spike groaned.

"Fabulous, Red. Oh well, I suppose I can deal. What’s the third?"

"Well, I thought we had comedy and romance, so I’d go for a drama."

"Memento. That’s one I haven’t had a chance to see yet."

"It’s really good, I think you’ll like it." Willow started describing the memory problems of the main character as they moved back to join the others.

Just as they reached the living room, another knock signaled the arrival of Angel.

"Okay the gang’s all here, let’s get this party started." He announced as walked through the door and immediately found Buffy for a quick kiss. She tried to conceal her unease, but she felt awkward in front of Spike, in his home no less. She sneaked a quick glance at Spike to see if he had noticed, but he seemed deep in conversation with Willow about something, so she breathed a sigh of relief.

Everybody grabbed pizza and drinks, then settled in to watch The Search for the Holy Grail, quoting the familiar lines of the movie they’d seem together a million times. Spike realized that somehow he’d ended up on the couch beside Buffy, with Angel on the other side of her. Cordelia had grabbed the floor, refusing to take the couch, insisting she was more conformable propping herself up with a big pillow she snagged from Spike’s bed. Willow was comfortably nestled in Xander’s lap in the only armchair, looking very content in her party hat.

As the movie drew to a close, Willow jumped up to change to the next disk and everyone rearranged a little as they settled in for the next film.
"Guys, thank you so much. This has got to be one of the best birthdays I ever had. It’s almost like old times."

She popped in the next disk and reseated herself on Xander’s lap.

"Almost, but not quite." She bussed Xander on the cheek and glanced over at Angel and Buffy, giving them a grin, surprised they weren’t more cuddlesome.

Angel draped his arm over the back of the sofa as the movie started and slowly pulled Buffy closer to him. She was being standoffish from him tonight. Maybe she had PMS. He’d tried to pull her into his lap when they’d first sat down and she’d declined, saying something about balancing her food while she ate. He’d let it slide then. But he’d got up to get a new round of drinks for her and him as Willow switched to Memento and when he returned, he tugged on her again. She sighed a little, glanced at Willow and Xander snuggled together and then crawled into his lap.

"There, Cordy, there’s room for you on the couch now. I’m sorry you had to sit on the floor."

"No biggie, Spike offered his seat, but I was fine. If there’s space, I’ll join you guys, we’ll be all snug."

Cordelia settled herself on the couch between Angel and Spike, taking Buffy’s spot. Angel noticed the smirk on her face as she watched him try to cuddle Buffy and grimaced. She was going to give him hell later tonight, probably do her Buffy imitation, which he had to admit he found pretty amusing. What was up with Buffy tonight? She usually was pretty pliable to him hugging and kissing her, he’d always kept things light so as not to spook her. But tonight she sat stiffly against him, her eyes glued to the screen, refusing to relax against him.

Spike sat on the other end of the sofa, also seemingly absorbed in the movie, which admittedly took a lot of concentration to follow. He refused to look over at the couple at the other end of the couch. It had been torture sitting on the couch beside Buffy, in the same spot they curled up nightly to watch Passions. Lately, she’d started leaning against him and putting her head on his shoulder as they watched. He’d put his arm around her, and they’d laugh and make snarky remarks and root for their favorite characters. And tonight, he’d had to sit beside her, afraid to look over, or brush against her with Angel just on the other side.

He’d sensed her nervousness as well. He’d seen her reject Angel’s offer to sit in his lap and had silently cheered, You go Buffy, put the big lug in his place. He doesn’t deserve you. His heart had sank when she’d finally given in. He realized that he really hadn’t seem them together as a couple since they’d started dating. He saw Buffy all the time, but never with Angel, and he realized that viewing the reality was a lot harder to take than just knowing they were dating.

Cordelia shifted as she glanced first from the pair to the right to the man on her left. Angel was such a big lummox. There was so something going on between Buffy and Spike. She’d come over with Buffy at 5:00 to help decorate and she’d watched the two of them together. She knew Spike was her tutor, so they clearly spent some time together, but Cordelia was willing to bet her best Prada bag that there was more to it than that.

Buffy knew where everything was, had found the scissors in the kitchen without having to ask their location, knew Spike kept some tape in the lower right hand drawer of his desk. And they’d seemed very comfortable with each other, little bumps and brushes that seemed casual but she suspected were not. This was going to be very interesting and she thought she saw an answer to her problem, without revealing her own less than angelic role in the affair. If she was reading the vibes right, Buffy was into Spike, not Angel, she just didn’t seem to know it yet. She needed a little push in that direction, and very few things would work more effectively than the green-eyed monster. Buffy probably thought Spike wasn’t going anywhere, since he wasn’t actively dating anyone. But… what if he suddenly became a little less available? She bet Buffy’s claws would come out then.

Cordelia smiled to herself. While she was immensely grateful to Angel for setting her up with Wesley, who had turned out to be quite a nice guy with a heart of gold (and purse as well, thought that was just a bonus), she felt a little gleeful at the thought that the overly cocky Angel might just get his comeuppance at the hands of Buffy and Spike.

She knew she had to stop sleeping with Angel. She was friends with Buffy, and Angel and she were clearly dating, even if they weren’t sleeping together. Buffy would be hurt if she ever found out. She also thought a lot of Spike. He’d always been kind to her, especially when she’d gone through some rough breakups, and she knew if she ever needed a favor, he’d be the first to offer help. That was just the kind of guy he was. It would be nice to see him get the girl.

She stole a few more quick glances at either side. Yep, there were some jealous vibes going on here. It would be so deliciously funny if Buffy was already messing around behind Angel’s back. But she was a pretty good judge of body language, and she didn’t think Buffy and Spike were quite there yet. Clearly some heavy flirting and a lot of unresolved sexual tension. She just needed to see if she could stir up some jealousy and help move things along.

"Willow, can you pause the movie? I need another drink and I think I’ll get confused if I miss a scene."

Willow obligingly paused the film and Cordelia moved into the kitchen, asking for orders as she went. She grabbed beers and wine coolers as requested , flipped the lights back off so the room was dark again, and settled back on the couch beside Spike.

"There we go." She looked around as Willow got ready to restart the movie. "Isn’t this nice, boy-girl, boy-girl, boy-," she looked coyly at Spike, "girl. Hey Spike, will you be my date tonight? I’m feeling all left out between these cute couples."

Spike glanced at her suspiciously. What was up with Cordy? He knew Wes, knew she was seeing him. But he read the humorous twinkle in her eye for the light hearted joke it was and he smiled at her.

"Sure, pet. You can be my snuggle-bunny tonight."

He threw an arm casually over her shoulders and Cordy leaned against him as the movie started. After a few minutes, Spike dared to dart a glance over at the other couple they shared the couch with and caught Buffy staring at him with a peculiar look on her face. She quickly looked back at the screen when she saw him looking and he wondered if that had actually been jealousy he’d seen on her face. He thought if just might have been. He tightened his arm around Cordy and pulled her a little closer. He was tired of seeing Buffy all plastered on top of Angel, two could play this game and Cordelia seemed quite willing to help out.

Buffy stared at the film. Stupid movie. Why was is backwards? At this point she was so lost she had no clue what was going on. The main guy was pretty hot, in fact he was a little Spikeish, nice cheekbones, pretty eyes. Wait. Whoa, Buffy, no thinking about Spike over there. You are dating Angel. See, Angel, the man whose lap you are perched in. He is right here and you are lusting after another guy.

She’d tried to be good. She knew she needed to spend less time with Spike, it wasn’t fair to Angel. She had stayed on Tuesday, and things had gone smoothly. They’d settled in, had a bit of pillow chat, but they’d stayed on their respective sides that night. Like he’d warned, he’d been gone to practice when she’d woken up on Wednesday morning, so there was no morning after possibilities of badness. She’d come back on Wednesday and Thursday night, but she had resisted the urge to ask to stay again, though every time she looked at that bed, she’d wanted to feign tiredness and insist the 10 minute walk home would do her in, couldn’t she just stay with him?

She had to decide what to do about Angel. She was increasingly wondering if she might not be with the wrong guy. But she wasn’t going anywhere with Spike until she officially ended things with Angel. And having a talk about whether you should see other people didn’t seem good right before Willow’s birthday. So she’d put it on hold, hoping they’d have a chance to talk in the next week or so.

She glanced back over again. What was Spike doing over there? Was he cuddling Cordelia? He was, right next to her, in their spot on his sofa! That was how he cuddled her when they watched their show together!

She could feel her admittedly irrational anger rising as she watched him pull Cordy closer. Maybe she’d been wrong about having a talk with Angel. She’d really started to think that Spike was into her. He wasn’t a big flirt, most of the time, so she’d assumed his actions towards her must really mean something. But maybe she’d been wrong. Maybe he liked to have lots of girls up here in this apartment, she was nothing special to him.

Buffy’s rational side wondered when he would be doing said cuddling of multiple women, as she was here almost every night, but watching his blond head duck to whisper something in Cordelia’s ear and hearing her light laugh in response to whatever he said, made her anger rise more. She always knew Cordelia Chase was a slut. Didn’t she have a boyfriend? Her rational side reminded her that she did as well, one who she was currently curled against. She saw Spike glance over again and she evaded his gaze. Well fine. If he was going to be all over Cordy, she’d have no qualms about kissing Angel in front of him.

Buffy leaned back against Angel, relaxing for the first time that night and curled her hand around her neck to play with his hair. Angel glanced down at her, surprised by the sudden show of affection, but smiled as she tugged him down for a light kiss. He kissed her back. Buffy generally didn’t make the first move, and he was surprised at how responsive she was as he deepened the kiss, especially given the fact they were right in front of all their friends.

Spike glanced over at the pair now snogging away. He looked away, clenching his free hand into a fist as he tried to control his emotions. He hated the sight of her kissing him. Cordelia saw his clenched fist and heard his ragged breath. She glanced over at the impromptu make-out session beside her and smiled. Oh, she’d been right. Spike and Buffy had it bad for each other. Now, what else could she do to Spike to rattle Buffy’s cage?

The second movie ended and Willow pulled out her girly movie that she’d saved until the end. Everybody took a stretch break as drinks were refreshed. Cordelia settled herself back next to Spike, watching Buffy out of the corner of her eye.

"Spike, is there anyway you could maybe massage my neck? I don’t think I stretched properly before practice today and I’m so sore." She batted her eyes at him, knowing she had Buffy’s attention. She really should get extra credit in her drama class for this little performance.

Spike agreed to try to work the kinks out and began kneading her neck and shoulders. She pulled her hair out of the way and proceeded to make quite a show of his attentions.

"Oh Spike, that feels so good, you have amazing hands." She looked back coyly at him. "I bet you can do all kinds of incredible things with those hands, now can’t you?"

Spike stared at Cordelia. Was the crazy bint coming on to him? He’d known Cordy for a long time, and she’d never tried anything like this. Then he caught her quick wink as she looked back at him and ever so lightly inclined her head towards Buffy, who was starting to turn red as she watched them.

Spike glanced over her shoulder at the wide eyed Buffy standing at the end of the couch and glaring at them. If looks could kill, he thought that one or both of them might be dead. He realized that one, Cordy had figured out something was afoot between them, and two, she was trying to assist in making Buffy jealous. He didn’t know exactly what was going on here, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Clearly it was working.

"Well, pet, I’ve never had any complaints. You have anything else that has some kinks you need worked on?"

Cordy had laughed and cuddled back against him as the next movie started. He’d continued to rub her gently. Buffy watched the entire movie seething, as she snuggled closer to Angel and attempted to stop herself from sneaking glances over at Spike and Cordelia, who continued to whisper and giggle throughout the movie.

When Harry onscreen pronounced that men and women could never just be friends, Cordelia had glanced seductively up at Spike and announced, loud enough for Buffy to hear, "You know, I think there’s something to that, if you’re friends, you pretty much think of them as people you’d want to sleep with." She’d batted her eyes at Spike and Buffy had launched off the couch, excusing herself to go to the restroom, but indicating they didn’t need to pause the movie and wait for her. Angel stared at Cordelia and Spike as Buffy flounced off. Was Cordy trying to get Spike in bed? She had seemed like she thought Spike was attractive before. Oh well, he didn’t really care, as long as she didn’t cancel their little planned meeting tonight after he dropped Buffy off at Giles’ place.

Buffy closed and locked the door to the bathroom, then sat down on the edge of the tub. This was utterly ridiculous. Spike was his own man and if he wanted to screw Cordelia in that big beautiful bed after they all went home tonight, he was certainly not restrained from doing so. Had it only been a few nights ago that she’d been in that bed with him? He hadn’t been so suggestive with her. Did he like Cordy? Was he just waiting to see if she’d make him an offer?

This was nuts. She had to stop thinking about Spike and start thinking about Angel. Sweet Angel, waiting out there for her. His kisses tonight had been more exciting than usual, maybe because you were already fired up about Spike, and maybe she’d underestimated him. He wasn’t coming on to Cordy, or rubbing on her. He’d had eyes for her only, all evening, and there was a lot to be said for that. Buffy composed herself, glad the movie was nearly done. She was ready for this evening to be over. The Spike and Cordy show had gone on long enough.

When she came out of the bathroom, she resettled herself on Angel’s lap and pulled him in for several more kisses before the movie concluded. When it was over, everyone proceeded to help dispose of the trash and gathered their things to leave. Buffy knew she was being rude, but she couldn’t seem to speak to Spike or Cordelia about anything more than a short, terse, good-bye before leaving. She knew she was acting oddly and drawing glances from her friends, but she couldn’t help it. She grew more upset when she heard Spike offer to take Cordelia home and heard her accept. She knew she wasn’t going to sleep well tonight, knowing that when everyone else had left, Cordy remained behind with Spike. She urged Angel to hurry, claiming she wasn’t feeling well and pulled him to the door with a final Happy Birthday to Willow.

As the door closed behind the other couples, Spike turned to Cordelia.

"How about we have a little chat, pet? Want to tell me what the little come hither act was tonight? I don’t think you were seriously trying to seduce me. So why the routine?" Spike pinned Cordelia in his gaze, wanting to know what she was playing at.

"Spike, what’s going on with you and Buffy?"

"Don’t change the question, I asked you first."

"Okay fine. Spike, there are some details that I can’t tell you, but I just don’t think that Angel and Buffy work together. Now, you and Buffy, that’s another story. Spike, you’ve been in love with her since at least high school, am I right?

He looked away, then nodded.

"And you’re clearly spending a lot of time together. She knows where everything is in your apartment, she must be over here all the time. I’m not judging you guys and I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, but there’s clearly something between you. I just thought a little jealousy might bring you two closer together."

He looked at her, his blue eyes serious. "Cordelia, I don’t know what to do. I think we’re getting close, but she keeps dating Angel, and I don’t want to poach on someone else’s territory, even if she’s willing. I’ve been on the receiving end of that, and it’s not fun. I don’t like to share, I want Buffy all to myself, and right now, I just get little bits and pieces. But I have no clue how she really feels about me. So I can’t push and make her choose, I don’t want to lose her friendship, if that’s all I’ll ever have."

Cordelia stared. "Wow, I though you were into her, but Spike, you are seriously head over heels in love, aren’t you?"

He nodded miserably.

She sighed. "Well, given Buffy’s reaction tonight, I’d say she definitely feels something for you. I don’t know if it’s as strong as what you feel for her, but she was one unhappy lady over there tonight. And I don’t think she usually is all over Angel like that, I think she was putting on a show for your benefit."

His face brightened a little. "Really, you think so?"

"Spike, again, I’m giving you limited information and you don’t get the source, but I know two things for sure. Buffy hasn’t slept with Angel yet. In fact, she’s still a virgin."

Spike looked at Cordelia in amazement. "You’re serious, she hasn’t slept with him? Angel? He’s always so hot to trot to get them in the sack."

"Well, I think he’s trying something different with Buffy. But, the fact that it’s taking a while seems to indicate she isn’t sure about him, you know? So if I were you, I think I’d take a chance and maybe tell her how you really feel. If she doesn’t know, she can’t make a choice. But, I’m going to shut up now, cause I need to get home, okay?"

Spike stood up and helped Cordelia off the couch, before pulling her into a hug. "Thanks Cordy, for the advice. I really appreciate it."

He looked at her closely as he released her.

"Cordelia, I’m not stupid. I’m not going to presume anything based on what you’ve told me, but I’ll offer you some advice as well. Wes is a great guy, and he really likes you. Don’t screw it up by screwing around with someone else, okay?"

She nodded, sensing that Spike knew there was something going on with her and Angel, but she was never going to confirm that for him.

Buffy knocked tentatively at Spike’s door. She knew she had behaved badly on Friday night. She’d tried to not be rude, but she’d been very cold to both Cordelia and Spike before she’d left. Then she’d pushed the slightly confused Angel away when he tried to get a little more touchy-feely than their usual good night kiss outside Giles’ house. She knew she was sending some mixed signals, the way she’d been macking on him at Spike’s, but her head had been aching and she just really wanted some sleep by that point.

She’d managed to avoid Spike the rest of the weekend and had left a message on his voice mail saying she couldn’t make it to his place on Monday. She’d chickened out again on Tuesday and left a message when she knew he wouldn’t be there, saying she wouldn’t be over. And now it was Wednesday. She hadn’t missed a tutoring session since the first week of school, and she knew she needed Spike’s help. She sucked up her pride and hoped he would forgive her rude behavior And also hoped that he hadn’t slept with Cordelia.

Spike opened the door and let her in with a quiet greeting, unlike his usual welcomes. Buffy made her apology for not being around much the last few days, and for her rudeness in general, and he said he understood that life got busy sometimes. The books were brought out and some of the awkwardness fell away as they lost themselves in their studies. They were already a little ahead and finished nearly an hour before their usual time.

Spike watched as she packed her books away. He knew flirting with Cordelia at the party had been juvenile and he knew the only reason he’d done it was to make her jealous. In some ways, he had been glad to see it bothered her, that she’d been steaming over there every time he looked at Cordy or whispered in her ear. It had salved his ego a little, that she at least felt enough to not want anyone else with him, but it had caused almost physical pain to watch her snogging away with Angel. He wondered if Cordelia had been right, he just needed to lay it all out for Buffy and make her choose.

He was more than a little afraid of that choice though. Sometimes he thought it was as if she wanted him on a leash, hers to play with and keep in this little apartment, but not someone she would acknowledge as anything more than a friend, while she paraded around with the BMOC. He fought down some bitterness. He’d wrestled with these feelings since Friday night and he didn’t know whether to encourage her to stay away more and end this torment, to lay it all out and force her to pick, him or Angel, or to beg her to come back and return to the way things were.

Buffy finished putting her books in her bag and looked at him across the desk..

"So, I don’t suppose you have the show taped for me do you?"

He smiled, glad for the excuse to keep her there a little longer. He was so weak. "Actually I do. And I haven’t watched either, I thought we could see it together."

She returned his smile with a tentative one of her own and they moved to the living room, where Spike pulled out the appropriate tape and rewound it. He noticed she had seated herself at the opposite end of the couch from him, not her usual location, but he didn’t comment and they both settled in to catch up on the sagas of Harmony.

Several hours later, as the final scene drew to a conclusion, Whitney moved closer to Chad. Suddenly the two were caught up in a passionate kiss that showed immense longing and lust wrapped together. Buffy watched the fictional embrace, knowing it was just acting, but couldn’t help wondering if that level of passion and desire were possible in reality. She didn’t realize she’d spoken out loud, until Spike responded.

"Oh, I think so, very much. I dare say if you have stayed and caught the Giles and Jenny show, you might have seen that," he nodded at the screen, "in real life."

Buffy sighed. "You’re probably right."

Spike paused for a moment, then continued to speak. "So you haven’t experienced that grand passion yet, pet, the one that makes the whole world drop away and leaves only the two of you in it?"

Buffy continued to stare at the screen, afraid to look into his eyes. This was getting into some dangerous territory to discuss with Spike. "No, I can’t say that I have. But I’d like to one day. How about you?" She realized she was digging her fingernails into her palms as she waited for his response. Probably he’d had that kind of fire with Drusilla or maybe even here with Cordelia the other night.

Spike was pleased that she hadn’t mentioned Angel. He decided to take Cordelia’s advice.

He slid a little closer to her on the couch and turned her face to his. "I’ve felt it, love, but I’ve never had the chance to experience yet, until now."

Before she could respond, he crushed her lips to his and Buffy was overwhelmed at the emotions and sensations that rocketed through her as he kissed her more thoroughly than she’d ever been kissed in her life. This was so totally different than the few soft kisses they’d shared before, this was passion, heat, desire, a kiss that put the one on-screen moments before to shame in its intensity.

Without thought Buffy responded to the fireworks, encircling his neck with her arms and pulling him closer as they continued to devour each other. They broke apart briefly as they both panted for breath and then resumed the kiss. Spike shifted back and pulled Buffy onto his lap so that she straddled his legs.

She pulled back for a moment and stared into his eyes swirling with unnamed emotions. He pulled her back to him and began to nibble her neck, teasing kisses with occasional nips and sucks that soon had her writhing against him She felt him lick his way up the curve of her ear and nip her lobe, sending little shudders through her. Buffy closed her eyes again, not sure where this was going, but not caring for the moment.

She was suddenly very aware of their position, her short skirt riding high on her thighs, increasing her contact with the hardness she could feel through Spike’s jeans. She tentatively moved against him and was rewarded by his sharp gasp. Their mouths met again and she continued to undulate against him slowly, relishing the contact she received and wondering if she dared to take this further. Spike returned to doing lovely, evil things with his mouth against her collarbone and she realized he was slowly unbuttoning her shirt. As the top fell away, his lips trailed further down, kissing the tops of her breasts that rose above the cups of her bra. He paused and looked up, reaching for the clasp.

"Buffy?" It was a question, and she nodded as he flicked the closure and released her breasts into his waiting hands. She realized the breathless little moans she was hearing were her own as he suckled her nipples into tight peaks, massaging the mounds of flesh. She clutched his head to her, needing more, more contact, more touch, more Spike.

She began to pull at his shirt, trying to remove the offending garment that stood between her and his naked flesh. He pulled back and grinned at her, doing that wicked little thing with his tongue that she’d always thought was very sexy and obliged her by pulling the shirt over his head and tossing it behind the couch. She ran her nails up his chest, enjoying the feel of muscles at play beneath his skin. He let her pet and lick her way across his chest for a few moments, his head thrown back as she returned his favor by worrying his neck with her tongue and teeth.

Buffy felt intoxicated, watching the bliss that played over his face as she teased him further. He really wanted her, just her, not Cordelia, not anyone but her. She settled herself more firmly in his lap, the now drenched crotch of her panties sliding against the rock hard erection she could feel straining against his jeans, wanting more connection with him. He pulled her closer, sliding her silky breasts against his chest as he kissed her again and settled his hands on her hips, finding a rhythm as she continued to grind against him. She whimpered with frustration and suddenly, she hopped off his lap.

A surprised Spike looked up at her. She could tell by his expression that he thought she might be leaving. Instead, she slid her hands under her skirt and slowly removed her underwear, dropping them to the floor. He was on her in a second, pulling her back down for mind-numbing kisses and caresses, then shifting her under him to sit on the couch as he knelt in front of her.

She could feel the little jolts of electricity as he continued to play with her nipples, and she arched into his touch. Then one hand ventured lower, reaching between her legs and beginning to stroke her, teasingly at first. She moaned as he kissed her again, his fingers matching the rhythm of his tongue stroking her mouth. Her eyes closed as she focused on the touch of his body on hers, until she heard his soft request that she open her eyes.

Buffy slowly looked into his eyes as he increased the pace of his caresses, feeling even more naked and exposed as their gaze locked than when he’d been staring at her breasts earlier. She saw love, adoration, desire, passion, everything she’d ever wanted in a relationship, all the things she’d held back and waited for, for so many years and wondered if he saw the same in hers. He lowered his forehead to hers, one hand bracing the back of her neck as they both shivered together. She was so caught up in his gaze and those entrancing eyes, staring at her as if she was the only think that mattered in the world to him, that she was caught off guard when her orgasm ripped through her, his fingers still working inside her as his thumb brushed that sweet spot that hadn’t been explored by anyone but herself before now.

She collapsed against him, panting, languid in the intensity and aftermath of all she’d just experienced. She felt his arms tighten around her and heard him murmur, "Knew you didn’t have that kind of passion with Angel, my love."

And suddenly the world came rushing back. What had she done? She was collapsed beneath Spike on his couch, half-dressed, his hard cock still pressed against her, recovering from an incredible orgasm. She’d just cheated on Angel. Shame filled here as she realized she was truly her father’s daughter. How could she have done this? What had she been thinking?

Spike leaned down to kiss her again and sensed something wasn’t right as she suddenly lifted her head, wide, startled doe eyes replacing the passion drugged look that had so recently occupied them. She pushed him away as she hastily refastened her bra and pulling her shirt together.

"Spike, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I have to go."

And before he could even react, she’d jumped up, pulling down her skirt, grabbed her books and was gone, leaving him to wonder where he’d screwed up.

CONTINUED...