Spike was one damn happy man, or vampire. He  was  here at the Bronze with the slayer, at HER request. Granted, as usual it was because she wanted something from him,  but he would have died tonight a happy man just knowing she was sitting across the table from him voluntarily. Oh, right, at the look on her face, that was always a very real possibility. She was looking at him like he was a disgusting bug that she wanted nothing better than to squash under her stylish yet oh so deadly slayer boots. It must have been his comment about beer. Oh wait, she got that look on her face, no matter what the hell he said. He sighed. Right then, this was going to be a pleasant evening. Well, he sure as hell wasn't going to make it easy on her. 
      
Even in the dark dimly lit atmosphere of the Bronze, Spike could tell there was something a little off about his slayer tonight, she was missing some of the fire that usually lit up her gorgeous green eyes. Oh yeah, something had her spooked but good. He could smell old blood mixing with the usual scent that was all Buffy. The combination was so alluring, he was having trouble concentrating.  Then his head cleared, blood on Buffy, not good. `Something must have almost gotten her, that is why she is running scared, needing my blow by on Slayer killing 101. Hmm.. Let's see how we can suss this out of her.' He spoke to himself, not taking his eyes of the former mortal enemy, current love of his unlife sitting in front of him.
   
"Spicy buffalo wings. Order me up a plate, I'm feeling peckish" he tells her, trying to goad her into something.
    
Buffy sighs and turns to signal the waitress who was at the table behind them, wincing and bringing her arms up to guard her abdomen. She was in too much pain to notice the sudden look of concern and worry on the vampire's face. By the time she was able to breathe again and looked up, the mask of indifference had once again been drawn over Spike's face.

"As I thought, some nasty thing got a taste of you." He drawled, hoping the worry wasn't coming through in his voice. He had gotten into the habit of following her on patrol, following far enough behind so he couldn't be sensed by her `slayer sense', but he must have missed this fight, and that scared him to death. Well, if his heart was beating, that is.

"Don't get all excited, I'm fine" she hissed, venom shooting in her eyes. God she was beautiful. He was truly pathetic.  He had turned into a right wanker where this girl was concerned. He honestly had no idea how it had happened, one minute all that consumed his waking thoughts was getting the chip out and killing her, and the next, all he could think about was her beauty and how much he wanted her to belong to him. How much he wanted to touch her, be with her.  At those unbidden thoughts, he started getting hard, his black jeans becoming too tight. He discreetly adjusted himself so he didn't feel as if his cock was being strangled by denim. `Bloody hell, if she only knew the power she had over you mate, she'd be laughing her arse off.' he chided himself. What was it about her that pulled him so strongly?

"Oh right . Stuck in a dark corner with a creature you loathe, diggin up past uglies, 'cause you're fine" Spike retorted hotly, narrowing his eyes. He glanced around, seeing if anybody was watching them, secretly hoping someone would see him there with the slayer. Hopefully someone like one of the scoobies or her wankin soldier boy boyfriend. The Bronze was not very crowded,  college and high students were milling around  or dancing  to the talent less crap the DJ;s were spinning.  It was yet another weekday night in Sunnyhell.  However,  Spike did   fail to note  the two soldier types sitting in another dark corner. 

"Hey isn't that Buffy?" Graham asked Forrest, his friend and fellow Initiative soldier.

Forrest turned around, looking over his shoulder at the attractive blonde across the room.

"Yep, it sure is. I thought she told Riley she had Slayer business tonight, didn't she break a date with him? Isn't that why he went patrolling with her little friends?" came the reply.

"Yeah, she did, he was all mopey about it. Hey, what the hell? Isn't that Hostile 17 she is with? ." Graham said, gesturing to the peroxide blonde dressed in black that was sitting with Buffy. They appeared to be deep in conversation. "What the hell?"

"I don't know, but I'm thinking maybe we should let Riley know about this little scenario."Forrest stated. It REALLY burned his butt that Hostile 17 was allowed to walk around, chipped or not. He should have been dust or locked away, he deserved to be treated like every other demon the Initiative captured. Why the slayer and her little groupies protected, he couldn't understand.  But maybe he was beginning to.

He pulled out his cell phone and made a phone call.

"Just tell me what I want to know" Buffy demanded, mentally cursing Giles for suggesting that she go see Spike to get some answers that weren't in the Watcher journals.  She hated the way he looked at her, like he could see right through her, like her eyes were windows into her deepest thoughts.

Dammit, he probably could. She could never seem to hide anything from him, and she was so sick of fighting herself, she noticed WAY more about Spike than she was willing to admit, to anyone, even herself. So she did what was so familiar to her, threw up her only defense mechanism, hiding behind insults and violence.
But GOD was she tired.

Lately, every little thing Riley did got on her nerves, and if she was honest with herself, would admit it was the beginning of the end for them. She loved his stability, his gentle manners, the absolute normalness of him. But on the other hand, she hated it. If she  continued on her path of self inflicted honesty,  she would admit that he just downright bored her, that she craved something completely totally different. Buffy sometimes felt like she was suffocating. Which was one of the reasons she found herself sneaking out of bed after Riley fell asleep after they would make love, needing SOMETHING. Something... else.

Some primal need that she just couldn't let herself recognize for what it really was. So she would go hunting, every vampire slain or demon killed managing to ease the ache just a little, but it never left, it was always there. And god, she was so sick and tired of fighting it. Because she did  know, deep down. she knew what the primal thing that was calling her was. She dreamed it, the answer. It was sitting across from her tonight. Every time she was near him, something called to her, whispering in her ear. His demon. His demon called to her. His demon was calling to her...what??? What was this thing inside her?  Buffy could feel herself panicking again. `Breathe, breathe, in, out' she commanded herself.

That was why she had begged Giles to stay, to help her understand this primitive side of herself. Not that she could tell him WHY the hell she was so certain there was something primitive burning out of control in her. Hell no, that's where the denial came in quite nicely. River in Eygpt be damned.

She glanced over at Spike, noticing him studying her. What was he thinking? He was impossible to read sometimes. She didn't realize he had noticed the sudden increase in her heart rate, and when she finally looked into his eyes, she was surprised to see concern reflecting back at her from the blue depths.
 
Buffy took a deep calming breath, and fell back on what was familiar to her to rid herself of these warm feelings she was feeling toward the bleach blonde across from her.

"Where you born this big a pain in the ass?" she rudely asked.

Spike tipped his head to the side to look at her. "What can I tell you baby, I've always been bad." he drawled seductively. Buffy shivered, and drew her arms protectively around her.

It had been in Spike's mind to make himself out to be a badass when he had been a human, but for some strange reason, the tale that fell from his lips was the truth. The sad and pathetic truth, for the sad and pathetic little poet he had been before Dru changed his life. 

As Buffy listened to his story, she sat in shock. `Oh my god' she thought to herself, `he's still in there. William is still in there, I can see him.'  And she could, she could see the gentleness when he wasn't trying to live up to being the Big Bad, the devotion and loyalty he had displayed toward the insane Drusilla.  During Willow's Thy Will Be Done spell, she had herself a little taste of this. The sweet, attentive and passionate man that was buried behind the tough exterior. During that time, Buffy had been happier than she had ever remembered herself being.  She had felt complete, whole, like the other half of her had been returned.  After Will had broken the spell, the loss was devastating, and she couldn't even mourn it, nobody would understand.  It was hard to even look at Spike after that, much less talk to him, she couldn't stand to see the look of revulsion in his eyes.  She didn't know that he had to force himself
to put that look there.
 
After the whole Dracula deal when Buffy drank his blood, that is when the feeling toward Spike and his demon intensified. And she'd been fighting it ever since.
 
In the middle of his story, they got up to play pool. He had needed something mindless to do, and Buffy had gotten pissed at his flicking his Zippo lighter top over and over.  It was hard to concentrate being so close to her, but he felt like he owed her some truth. Why, he didn't know. Maybe because of that damn spell her wicca friend did. Now that had been pure bliss, he recalled, as he lined up a shot at the pool table.

 He glanced over at Buffy, she was just watching him with a strange look on her face. For once, he couldn't read her.

"After that I was obsessed" as he came to the part in his tale where he started seeking out his first slayer. "I mean, to most vampires, the slayer was the object of cold sweat and frightened whispers" He didn't want to tell her that to him, thoughts of Buffy as the slayer,  was the object of wet dreams and passion filled whispers. No, that wouldn't do at all to tell her that at all.

"But I never hid," he continued. "Hell, I sought her out. I mean, if you're looking for fun, there's death, there's glory and sod all else, right?" he shrugged nonchalantly. "I was young."

"So how'd you kill her?" Buffy asked, not really wanting to know the answer. She felt him move close behind her, oh yeah, she felt it.

"Funny you should ask," he smirks, taking note of the rise in her heart beat. He quickly brought one hand to her neck, and just as quickly she whipped around to face him and tried to  bring the pool cue up but Spike whipped his other hand out and trapped it in between their bodies. He pressed himself closer, and leaned his head down towards her ear.  He rubbed  his erection  into her, as Buffy stiffened up

"Lesson the first, a slayer must always reach for her weapon," he murmured "I've already got mine." he whispers. With that said, he bring his demon forth and smirks down at her.

       Buffy stood shock still for a second, her senses on overload.  Her slayer sense was shouting "danger danger!" But her Spike sense (as she'd taken to calling it) was screeching and clamoring for so much more.  She looked into the golden yellow eyes of this beast, this demon that wanted to kill her. Something she was supposed to
kill, and all she could do was want. So she took.

       If Spike hadn't smelled her arousal a split second before she crushed  her mouth against his, he probably would have combusted from complete shock.  Oh my god, this wasn't supposed to be this can't really be happening, he thought to himself. He probed his cold tongue into her mouth and heard a small sigh from her. She thrust her tongue back, nicking it on one of his elongated canines.  Slayer blood
pooled into his mouth, and he gave a low growl, pulling her closer, the pool cue falling unseen to the floor, as her arms reached up to wrap themselves around his neck. He sucked on her tongue, shuddering in pleasure as the coppery liquid slid down his throat.  His human face came to the forefront. He couldn't get close enough to her.  He had kissed her during the witch's spell, but this was something different. Something else was happening here.


Buffy felt like fire was spreading through her veins, turning her limbs into a jell-O puddle. `He sucking blood from my tongue, and I like it' she berated herself. `What is happening to me?'

Any thought was then thrust from her head as Spike's hands stroked their way down to her hips, and his fingers dug in, pulling her up slightly so that the apex of her thighs joined intimately with Spike's, as he ground his hardness into her. His duster billowed around them, and they were standing in the shadows, but the entwined figures were a little hard to ignore.

"Oh Christ Buffy," Spike moaned, tearing away from her lips to press kisses along her jawbone, and down the side of her throat. Her jugular was pounding deliciously against his firm lips, and he nibbled delicately on the warm throbbing skin. Buffy moaned, god it felt so good. It shouldn't feel so good. He was a vampire. He was nibbling at her throat. That was bad. Bad Buffy. Oh feels so good, Spike. Good Spike, and once again, her brain shut down to any rational thought.

"You're mine, you belong to me," Spike whispered against her skin. All Buffy could do was nod. Yes, she did. She belonged to Spike. And he belonged to her. Just don't stop kissing me, she thought.

"BUFFY?????!!!!!!!" an enraged voice broke through their passion filled haze. Buffy opened her eyes and looked over Spike's shoulder to meet the outraged eyes of Riley.

`"What the hell is going on?" he shouted, stepping forward, and spinning Spike around. He threw back his arm to aim a punch in the vampire's face, anger coursing through him.

"NO!!" Buffy yelled, grabbing Spike before Riley's punch could connect , knowing he couldn't fight back, and thrust him behind her. She faced her boyfriend, and said menacingly "Don't touch him."

Riley blinked in shock. He wasn't expecting this hostility from her and it made his stomach clench to think of the reason. "Again I will ask, what.. Is....Going...on...??"

Before Buffy couldn't answer, Spike jumped in. "Oh bloody hell, don't get your camoflage in a twist, mate. I kissed the bint. Everyone likes a bit of the Big Bad, you know, gotta spread myself around, Didn't mean anything, she's still your girl and all that rot."

Buffy knew what Spike was doing, and appreciated it, but before she could speak, she again was interrupted.

"Naw man, that's not the way it happened," it was then Spike and Buffy noticed the two military boys. Forrest continued, "He didn't kiss her, SHE kissed him. And while he was in demon mode on top of it."

 Spike pinned a glare on the man, and growled deep in his throat. Even though Forrest knew Spike couldn't hurt him, the pure menace in the vampire's gaze made him take a step back.

Buffy's mind was racing, god there were so many emotions running through her right now, and the most pressing one was to be alone with Spike again. She knew she had to salvage something of this, she owed Riley that much. She had already noticed Xander, Anya and Willow in the background, watching the scene unfolding. Buffy realized that Riley's friends must have seen her here with Spike knowing she had broken a date with Riley, and called him. She knew it was a bit unfair, but she was infuriated that her privacy had been violated. 'Well, guess you shouldn't have been macking on Spike at the Bronze then,' she tried to placate herself. It didn't help, she was still angry.

 "Riley I do need to talk to you. In private." she stated, looking up at him, ignoring the others. Anger permeated off of him in waves, and the tight way he held his jaw did not bode well for the conversation to come.

"Buffy, what.." Xander started to interrupt, coming forward to try to talk to his friend.

"Xander, no. I'm not going into it, " Buffy cut him off, turning away from him to face Spike.

He didn't know what he would find in her gaze when she turned around, so he was surprised to still find need evident there. "Wait for me?" she whispered. He gave her a barely imperceptible nod and without looking at anyone, strutted confidently back over to "their" table and sat down to finish his beer. His eyes followed Buffy and Riley walking out the back door to the alley. He sighed, and looked into his glass, as if all the answers in the world could be found in the glass of hops.

It didn't take long for Willow to break away from an upset Xander and indifferent Anya and make her way over to the peroxide blonde.

"What do you want, Red?" he questioned, as she stood at his table hesitantly.

"Um, I don't know exactly what happened tonight, and I know it isn't any of my business," Willow announced nervously. "But I just kinda want to make sure that Buffy doesn't get hurt." 

Spike finally looked up from his beer to look at Buffy's friend. "The last thing I would ever do on this earth is hurt Buffy." he declared heatedly.

Wow, that was the first time I've ever heard Spike call her Buffy' Willow thought. There was an intense look in Spike's eyes and Willow instinctively believed him. `Ok, he won't hurt her, good.'

Spike must have let something else slip into his eyes because suddenly Willow blurted "oh my goddess, you love her?!!!!"

Spike looked at her surprised. "Yeah, I do" he admitted. "But if you breathe a word of that to anyone, I'll have a feast on your corpse for days." he threatened.

As Buffy walked back into the smoky interior of the Bronze, she found herself ambushed by her friends, who had obviously been waiting for her.  Her eyes instinctively flickered towards the back of the bar where she had been sitting earlier, a feeling of anxiousness welling up in her.  She let out a sigh of relief when she saw the platinum blonde watching her, with his trademark smirk on his face. He raised his scarred eyebrow in her direction, and she let him know with her eyes that she would be joining him as soon as possible. He nodded, and went back to his beer, leaning back in his chair and lit up a cigarette.

"God, even him smoking is sexy," she thought to herself. She had to give her head a little shake as she realized her friends were bombarding her with questions.

Xander was in a highly agitated state. "Buffy, what happened with Riley? What is going on? Please tell me there is a spell responsible, because I do NOT want to hear you tell me you were kissing the evil undead because you wanted to" he rambled.

"Ok Xander, I won't tell you, " Buffy replied.

"Huh?" he shook his head in confusion.

"You said not to tell you I was.. Oh forget it. You know what? It's none of your business and I really don't want to discuss it with you now." Buffy retorted defensively.

"She's right Xander, it isn't really our business. If she wants to talk about her many orgasms, she will when she wants to." Anya clarified. "I love talking about orgasms" she said to Buffy, "we can compare notes."

Used to Anya's blunt speech, Buffy just gave her a small smile. Her eyes drifted back to blonde in black leather, wanting to get away so she could get back to him. She could feel his eyes on her, and it made her shudder in anticipation.

Xander felt the need to silence his girlfriend. "Not helping An." The ex-vengenence demon just shrugged. Xander looked back at Buffy and said "Did you make it up to Riley, at least?"

"What part of not wanting to discuss it with you did you NOT understand Xander? No, I didn't make it up to Riley. We are no longer together." Buffy replied, a bit impatiently.

Willow finally spoke up. she had been watching the looks that had been passing back and forth between Buffy and Spike and knew a lot more than she was willing to share with Xander. "Xander, come on, it's Buffy's life. Leave her alone. I need to get home to Tara anyway. Let's go."

"Yes, Xander, I want to go home too," said Anya. "You promised me orgasms." She prompted, as she grabbed his arm and headed him towards the exit. Xander turned once towards Spike and gave him an icy glare, but Anya jerked his attention back to her as they walked away.

Willow turned to follow them, then turned back and gave Buffy a quick hug and whispered in her ear, "Good luck with Spike. And I'm gonna want to hear all about it!" and with that she was gone, and Buffy was finally alone again. She sighed.

She turned her head back to Spike, and strode over to the table they had been occupying that evening. He watched her as she came towards him, looking like the epitome of relaxed, sprawled in his chair, but she knew how tightly wound he was. She could feel it.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked, softly, when she reached his side.

His answer was a low growl as his arm snaked out to grab her arm and drag her down to sit on his lap. His arms were wrapped around her waist as she laid curled up on his lap, her cheek pressed against his hard chest. It was as if they were the only people there, the music and everything else just melted away.

"You ok, luv?" he asked.

She gave another sigh, and rubbed her cheek against him. "Yah, I guess."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Spike offered, not really wanting to hear it, but he knew she had just dealt with something unpleasant.

Buffy shook her head. "No, not right now." Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Riley's two friends at the bar. They were still watching the couple.

She stood up and grabbed Spike's hand. "Come on, let's get out of here. Too many wandering eyeballs in this place."

Hand in hand, they left the Bronze, both consumed by their own thoughts. Without saying the words, they both headed for Spike's crypt.

As they traveled through one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries to take a shortcut to Spike's crypt, Buffy finally broke the silence.

"I'm scared, Spike."

He jerked his head towards her in surprise. "I'd never hurt you Buffy," he declared.

Buffy looked back at him and replied, "I know, it's not you I'm scared of. It's me Spike. Something weird is going on, and it is terrifying me. It's kind of been building for a while now. I don't know if it's a slayer thing or what."

As intuitive as always, Spike jumped straight to the heart of the matter. "Does this have anything to do with what happened with us tonight?"

A look of surprise flashed in Buffy's eyes. "yeah, kinda." she admitted. "It's hard to talk about. I've been feeling different lately, I even made Giles be my Watcher again to try to help me make sense of it He has some theories, about it dating back to the First Slayer, blah blah in Giles-speak, blah blah"

Buffy realized they had reached Spike's crypt. She waited for Spike to open the door, then walked into the candle lit tomb and sat heavily on his sofa.

Spike sat down next to her and drew his into his arms, so her back was cushioned against his chest.

"You know, when you're not being a totally annoying pain in the ass, you're pretty easy to talk to," Buffy announced. She gave him a small smile.

"Right back at ya, luv," he replied, leaning his head back against the sofa.

"This is just so weird, "Buffy continued. "One minute, it's like I want to slap that smug grin off your face, and the next you're like the only one I can really talk to about this."

"That's because it involves me and you finally admitted that to yourself, right pet?" Spike stated.

Damn Spike and his perceptiveness. And as usual, he was absolutely right.

"Yes," Buffy whispered softly, eyes downcast. Spike was surprised, he hadn't expected her to admit it to easily.

"I don't know what is going on, Spike. It got pretty intense after that whole Dracula incident," Buffy explained.

Spike's jaw tightened a bit. Drac, that tosser. Biting HIS girl. Then he grinned, the way things were going, it looked like he WAS going to get his girl.

"Anyway, I just started feeling different. Had these weird dream, and instead of a slayer, I was feeling like a hunter. I felt so out of control,... it was like I was searching for something, " she continued, mumbling the last part.

"And you're right, I finally admitted it to myself, I was searching for you." She finished quietly.

"Me?"

"Well, your demon. Something was connecting me to your demon. You think I didn't know about all those times you stalked me on patrol? I could feel you. I just didn't want to see you, didn't want to have to face, well, this" she explained.

Things were starting to make a little more sense to him now, why his feelings had intensified so much in the last few months. Why he could sense her so much easier, could slip into her thoughts, why he was so attuned to her.

"So, you think Drac slipped you something demonic when you drank his blood, is that it?"Spike said trying to suss this out in his head.

Buffy shook her head slowly, "No," she said softly, glad she wasn't having to look into his eyes right now.

"Then what's your theory on this, luv?" Spike asked.

"I started feeling this way after Will's spell," she admitted. Spike head jerked up. Bloody hell, the girl was right. That had been the beginning of the end for him. Things had changed after that.

"But after the whole thing with Dracula, it became so much more vivid. He opened my mind to what I really was, I guess. And it just kinda grew from there." Buffy stated.

Spike's brain was mulling over the implications of this. "So, what does the great Librarian have to say about it?"

Buffy's face flushed red, "I uh, haven't told him all of it. About you I mean. But he said that it was been hypothesized that the first slayer was created from merging a demon and a girl."

"You're not a demon, luv. The chip, remember?" Spike assured her.

"I know, but I think some part of her has resurrected itself, or something. God, I don't know. I do know that I feel your demon, and I don't mean in a slayer sense." Buffy said.

They were both silent for a moment, each pondering the possibilities. Finally Spike spoke.

"So what, you think we're like Demonic Soul Mates, or something?"




CONTINUED...