Chapter 1

So what I'm wondering is: does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil? ~Buffy~

****

Spike: What a fantastic day. Birds singin', squirrels makin' lots of rotten little squirrels, the sun beaming down in a nice nonfatal way. It's very exciting. I can't wait to see if I freckle.

Spike (after Buffy stakes him): Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way.

Buffy: The Gem.

Spike: Oh yeah, the Gem of Amara. Official sponsor of my killing you.

Spike: So, you let Parker take a poke, eh? Didn't seem like you knew each other that well. What exactly did it take to pry apart the Slayer's dimpled knees?

Buffy: You're a pig, Spike.

****

Hear my cries Hear my call Lend me your ears See my fall See my error Know my faults Time halts See my loss Know I'm lacking Backtracking Where I met you Pistol packing Itchy finger Trigger happy Try to trap me Bad rap Wiretap me Back-stab me Break the faith Fall from grace Tell me lies Time flies Close your eyes Come with me Come with me, Yeah Come with me, Uh-huh, Yeah You said to trust you You'd never hurt me Now I'm disgusted Since then adjusted Certainly you fooled me Ridiculed me Left me hanging And my shit is Boomeranging Right back at you Think long range Narrow-minded Left me blinded I cosigned it Shit backfired But I'm bouncing back I grinded Not many would bear the pressure You comprehend me You want to end me You offend me It's trauma Feel the trauma Come with me

... left uppercut to the Slayer's face.

"Come on, Slayer. You're not even trying. Surely Parker couldn't have tired you out that much. Legendary stamina and all." He added another harsh kick to her midsection, causing her to fall to the ground.

Hey, it was just a good time, right?

Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that.

What?

You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night.

What are you saying?

Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened.

I, I don't understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?

You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro. You know what the worst part was, huh? Pretending that I loved you. If I'd known how easily you'd give it up, I wouldn't have even bothered.

Parker and Angel's words taunted her in her mind. The verbal beating of Spike finally caused her to burst into tears.

"Oi, Summers! You're making this too easy." he stared at her for a moment before coming out of his game face and sitting down beside her. Curiously (and to his utter horror concern, which he was in deep denial over) got the better of him."You wanna talk about it?"

"Like you care." she bit out angrily.

"No, 'fraid not. But, I came here for a good, clean fight. And with you weepin' and carryin on, well its ripping all the fun out of it. So, you're upset cause the wanker blew you off, yeah?"

"Not just him. Seems like they- I'm not good enough." she whispered in a wavering voice.

I know I'm a bad poet, but I'm a good man. All I ask is that... is that you try to see me- I do see you - that's the problem! You're nothing to me, William. (She stands and looks down at him.) You're beneath me.

Pleasure? To take my leave of you, of course. "The lark hath spoke from twix its wee beak." You honestly thought I could bare an eternity listening to that twaddle? That's who you'll always be; a limp, sentimental fool. You want to cry now, don't you?

I have to find my pleasures, Spike. You taste like ashes.

"Bollocks. S'not true. They're all bunch of bloody pillocks."

"How would you know anyway? They're probably right." she said in a defeated tone.

"Cause luv, neatly twelve decades, and I actually learned a thing or two. Believe it or not. Besides, I've actually been exactly where you are now more times than I'd care to remember." he said the last part with the slightest twinge of grief. He wiped away a tear track on her left cheek. She looked at him with a very much startled _expression.

"I know just what you need, Summers. A little pick me up, is all. And although this place isn't very good in the least, but it'll have to do. Come along kitten." he said as he rose up and extended a hand to her. She hesitatingly reached out to him and allowed him to help her up.

"So, where we going?"

"Why, to the nearest bar here, pet."

"What, so you can get me all liquored up and then kill me?" she asked sarcastically.

"No, course not. Gotta wait for your hangover to pass first. But hey, no worries. I'll be piss drunk right beside you."

"Oh right cause hey, getting drunk with my favorite mortal enemy is such a grand idea." she said as she began to walk alongside him.

"Really pet? Your favorite mortal enemy. Well I'm speechless."

"For once." she muttered under her breath.

"Ya know, I heard that per. Play nice." he said in a chastising tone.

"Well, just as long as I don't have any hard liquor..."

"But that's the best part!" he whined. But on the look she gave him, he conceded.

"Beer okay?"

"Fine."

"You sure just not one, innocent lil' shot?"

"A world of no."

"Pfft. Fine by me. Aah! Here we are pet! The best of the crappiest bars close to the campus. And looky looky. There's a nice private booth right over there." he said with false enthusiasm.

"Great." she said in a monotone.

"Oi! Barkeep! Can we get some bloody service over here?!"

"Geeze, Spike! You don't haveta be so rude."

"Oh, come now, Slayer. It's his job and s'not like the place is crowded. Middle of the bleeding day. Oh, 'cept for the white bread losers over there."

*******************

"Damn college kids. Think they're better than me. I'll show 'em, though. Ha! I'll show them all..." the bartender muttered to himself as he filled the pitcher to the brim of Black Frost beer.

"Here you go sir, miss. A pitcher of Black Frost."

"Bout bloody time. Got any cashews?" Spike questioned.

"No, just peanuts."

"Bugger that." he said, dismissing the bartender with a casual wave of his hand.

"Mind if I smoke?" he said as he proceeded to remove a cigarette and his lighter from his duster pocket.

"Not like you'd stop if I said no." she replied, then taking a sip of the beer.

"Nope. I wouldn't. Just tryin' to be polite." he said, giving her his trademark smirk.

"So, uh, what'd he say to get your knickers in a twist? Oh, damn. Definitely bad choice of words there." Buffy then took several gulps of beer. She promptly belched, loudly.

"Oh, excuse me."

"Boy Summers. Sure can take it like a man, can't you?"

"Shut up!" she said as she hit him in the arm.

"Okay, all right. Listening time, yeah?"

"Yeah. It's just, is there something repulsive about me? Or am I just genuinely stupid in continuously falling for the wrong guy? I mean- god, you drink fast." commenting on the fact that he was now on his second glass.

"Yeah, well Vampire here. It'll take a helluva lot for me to lose my sobriety. 'Sides it's just beer and I was thirsty. But no." he said locking eyes with her. She regarded him with confusion.

"No? No what?"

"You're not repulsive in the least. And as far as the whole stupidity thing, well, you definitely made some bad choices in the opposite sex department. 'Specially Peaches. And you do have the whole 'dumb blonde' look going for you." he said in mock seriousness.

"This coming from someone who's dating record consists of Psycho Dru and Airhead Harmony? And hello? You're not exactly sporting your natural roots either, Billy Boy." she said, copying his mock serious tone.

"Well, got me there. Guess there's lots of parallels 'tween us." he replied while smirking.

*******************

You know there are quite a few American beers that are highly underrated. This, unfortunately, is not one of them. ~Spike~

*******************

2 more pitchers later...

"More BEER!" Spike yelled as he banged his fist on the table.

"Spike loud. Spike bad." Buffy uttered as she used her index finger to stir the beer in her glass.

"Spike angry. Want own beer." he said.

By then, the bartender had left the bar (for his own safety). The six patrons in the bar had changed rapidly by the spell altered beer. The five males hair had grown considerable amount in length and they all had furrowed brows. They became ignorant and began to react solely on instinct. Thus becoming... dangerous.

The four patrons on the other side of the room became restless. Without anyone serving the beer, there wasn't much to do except for talk. But by then, their basic conversation skills had flown out the window. They began prowling about, breaking glasses and overturning tables and chairs, all the while making ape like noises.

As they began moving around separately, one picked up the scent of the only female there. He sniffed harder (all the while making loud breathing noises) and turned and looked at her as if really noticing her for the first time.

"Girl. Girl pretty. Want girl now." his companions, overhearing what he said, came over to see "the girl."

"Look girl."

"Girl pretty."

"Girl smells nice."

"Want girl. Want girl now." They spoke in unison. Buffy decided on not acknowledging their presence and continued making swirls in her glass, occasionally licking her finger and the table for any stray droplets that fell. Spike on the other hand, noticed a great deal.

First, a low, deadly warning growl emanated from his throat. And when the four men paid no heed to him, he changed into his game face and threw the table upside down as he stood. This, however, got Buffy's attention.

"Spike! You spilled the beer! Beer all gone now! Spike BAD!" she yelled. She then stood beside him and punched him hard in the bicep. He swayed just the slightest, but mostly held firm as he stared down the four males.

"Girl mine. Not for you." he said in a low, menacing voice. Two, however, decided to challenge Spike anyway. They both rushed him, and Spike just grabbed them by their throats. He hurled them across the room. The other two instantly got the message and recognized him as the alpha male.

"Mine!" he yelled. He promptly grabbed Buffy and threw her over his shoulder. He left the bar and made a mad dash into the woods. Buffy all the while was kicking and screaming. But not because he took her away, but because she couldn't have anymore beer.

"Spiiike, put Buffy down." she whined. He figured they were far away enough from other people and did as she asked.

"Where we go, Spike?" she pouted.

"Buffy Spike's. Buffy mine." he said as he advanced upon her.

"No." she whispered, all the while not backing away.

"Spike strong. Buffy strong. Buffy mine." he said as he got closer.

"Buffy Slayer. Spike Vampire. Wrong."

"Not wrong. Right. Very right. Strong and strong and..." he trailed off as his hand reached out and touched her cheek. It then traveled down her neck, over her collar bone, and stopped its descent to her small pert breast. Her breathing increased and the scent of her arousal began to permeate the air around them, causing the grip he had on her breast to tighten. She looked him in the eye and said one word in a low voice.

Spike gave a low growl of satisfaction to her response. Their movements were quick. In a matter of seconds, her shirt and bra were literally ripped off. His duster and tow shirts were discarded as well. As they commenced in frenzied kisses, they quickly unbuttoned and unzipped each other's pants.

Once Buffy accomplished her task, she immediately grabbed his erection and began pumping him hard and fast. He grunted in pleasure and roughly pulled her to him. He pushed her to the ground, then yanked off her boots and pants. With him on top (and without hesitation), he plunged into her sopping wet heat with one long, hard, determined thrust.

She grabbed his hands in hers and stretched them above her head, meeting him for each of his powerful thrusts. As he became closer to the edge, he vamped out. Her eyes grew wide in surprise, but she wasn't afraid. He took one of her legs and put it over his shoulder to drive deeper into her. Right before he came, he sunk his fangs into her throbbing jugular. She clutched his head as he sent her tumbling into oblivion, filling her with his mystical, undead semen.

After he came down, he released her neck and the demon receded. He gingerly licked at the two puncture wounds. Once cave Buffy got her bearings, she put her leg down and flipped them over. He gazed at her in astonishment (and something else she couldn't quite figure) as her golden hair was highlighted by the rays of the setting sun. He cupped her cheek and brought her face down to his for a passionate kiss, which she returned with equal fervor. After a minute or so, he was ready again. She then pulled away from his lip lock.

"Again. Again now." she cooed into his ear. she then placed her hands on his chest and began to ride him with no mercy. He gripped her hips and began making a noise somewhere in between a guttural growl and a moan.

As she got closer, she began squeezing his shaft harder, causing his eyes to roll back. Though she was close, she was determined to make him come first. So, she did the unimaginable to him. She bent over him and bit him as hard as she could with her blunt, human teeth on his neck.

The shock of the act sent him well over the edge, sending long spurts of fluid inside of her. She screamed with her own release and collapsed on his chest. Before sleep overtook them both, she murmured in his ear with purpose (although tiredly), " Mine."

*************

Giles' Flat

"Xander, what happened? Where's Buffy?" a flustered Giles asked worriedly.

"I don't know. I ran over to help her, but before I could even get a 'Buffy, look out!' he kinda knocked me unconscious." Again, he thought to himself and gave an exasperated sigh.

"You okay?" Willow said in a concerned voice.

"Yeah, fine. But when I woke up, both of them were gone. I checked the dorm, her house- it's like she vanished..." Xander trailed off.

"Dear lord. We have to find her, and quickly. Anything could have happened to her." Giles said more to himself than to the others.

"But as of right now, Spike's pretty much invincible guy, right?" Oz asked in monotone.

"Yes, since he got hold of the ring, which wasn't supposed to exist, right Giles?" Anya inquired.

"Yes, Anya. Thank you. Dammit! It was supposed to have been a myth."

"He's probably out there with her now. Making her his eternal sex slave or something." Anya said thoughtfully.

"Ahn-" Xander said in a warning tone.

" But the sex would probably be amazing considering the stamina of-"

Anya! Stop! Xander yelled, walking over briskly to his pseudo girlfriend.

"God! How can you talk like that? Buffy would never let that happen." Willow said. Oz squeezed her hand in a comforting way.

"Geez. Just saying what you all were most certainly thinking." Anya complained.

"Well, we don't know. Maybe she just wanted some alone time. You know, after the big fight?" Willow suggested and desperately hoped at the same time.

"As much as I would like to believe that Willow, I...." Giles started, but didn't have the heart to finish the thought.

"Giles, we'll find her. We will." Willow said with determination. Giles gave her a wan smile in response and went to the kitchen to help himself to a brandy.

********************

The Morning After...

Buffy awoke the next morning completely sober in the cool embrace of her undead mortal enemy. Her breath hitched in her throat as she remembered yesterdays activities.

"Oh god." she whispered. She tried to maneuver herself off of him, but he wouldn't budge. She began to panic.

"Well, well. Sleeping beauty finally decides to join the land of the living. Well, unliving." Spike said, his eyes still closed as he spoke.

"How long have you been awake." she asked nervously.

"I dunno. Few minutes 'fore you I 'spose." he said, finally looking at her.

"I- I have to go." she mumbled quickly, still struggling to get up. But with all of her wriggling, he became the only one standing. This new (and very much obvious) discovery (to her disappointment) made her wet.

Oh god! Why am I acting like this!? This is Spike. What the hell is wrong with me?!

"What's your hurry, luv? Don't I get extra brownie points for still being here? Holding you?" he asked her seriously, arching his scarred eyebrow. She studied him intently as she rolled his questions around in her mind.

"You have to know it would never work. Not in my lifetime anyway." she said as she gently caressed his face. He leaned into her touch.

"I know, but a good-bye shag couldn't hurt? I mean, since we're not so drunk or acting like we're in some god awful BC era. Besides, I can smell your arousal, slayer. I know you want me." he said lavisciously.

"Damn vampire sense of smell." she groused, then tentatively kissed his lips. He threaded his fingers through her hair and deepened the kiss, using a slow and sensuous rhythm. She reached down between them and put his member inside of her. She moaned while he hissed at the connection.

The pace they had with their mouths set the pace for their bodies as they mad love slowly on the grass. While the previous night had been about control and dominance, today was about understanding and connecting.

I'm gonna take you with me I want to fight you I'll fucking bite you Can't stand nobody like you You can't run You can't hide No surprise Close your eyes

Come with me

Spike broke off the kissing and began nuzzling her neck.

"So, good. So good. So good..." he chanted. He reached down between them and gently massaged her clit.

"Huh! Spike. I'm, I'm gonna--- Aah!" she screamed as she came. He pumped into her a few more times before following her over the precipice.

"That was bloody amazing." he murmured, breaking the contented silence.

"Yuh huh." she replied. He then pulled out of her, with her giving a moan of protest.

"Are we gonna talk about this." he queried.

"Yeah, but this isn't exactly the best of places to do it. Maybe we should go back to my dorm or..."

"Okay. But I think we should get dressed first. Though I certainly have nothing to be ashamed of." he said with a smug grin.

No, you certainly don't she thought.

"You're such a pig, Spike." she said good humoredly.

"Don't I know it." They then began the search for their clothes.

"Oh, damn it Spike!"

"What?"

"You completely destroyed my shirt. What the hell am I supposed to-"

"Here. Sorry, bout that, pet. Heat of the moment and what all." he said with an almost sheepish grin, as he handed her his black T-shirt.

" 'Sides, I still got the red one." he continued as he buttoned up said shirt.

"Yeah, thanks. But I still liked my blue one." she pouted.

"Yeah, well, with my black shirt and your black pants, throw on a nice red leather duster, and you and I would make a handsome couple." he said reflectively.

"Well, well. Aren't we fashionable." she teased.

"Yeah, well, I try. Cone now, pet. Time to walk you back to good ol' UC Sunnyhell." he said, tentatively grabbing her hand. The gesture warmed her heart and had her grinning like a giddy school girl- which she was. Every once in awhile, he'd her hand a gentle squeeze, which caused her grin to broaden into a full blown smile.

"Here we are. Casa de Summers- Rosenberg. Oh, hope she's not home." she said more to herself than him.

"Willow, ya here? Oh good. she must be at Oz's. Oh, come in." she closed the door and sat down on her bed with him beside her.

"So, what happens now?" he asked as he stared intently at his hands.

"I don't know. This whole thing is majorly of the weird, but nice in a really ironic sorta way. I've never been in a situation like this, but I'm fairly certain it wouldn't work." she said somewhat sadly.

"Well you know me. Never one to back down from a challenge. Mind if I smoke?" he took a chance at looking at her in the eyes.

"Eew, yes! I still have to breathe with my lungs you know. Being a Slayer already shortens my life considerably. Wouldn't want to make it worse."

"Right."

"But Spike, I mean look- we're complete opposites, well moral wise anyway. And there lies the badness. I mean, one of us would have to do a complete 180 in order to adjust. Either I start killing or you stop."

"Yeah, point there. But think of it Summers- you and me would be spectacular. We'd be invincible and eternal."

"You're already invincible, and eternal."

"Yeah, got me there. So, I guess this is where we part our separate ways then?" she nodded her head solemnly. He sighed heavily.

"Right then. See ya around, Summers." he stood up to leave.

"Spike, wait. Would you mind just sitting here with me, until I fall asleep? Rough night." she said with a nervous laugh. Even he did, this time he'd actually be gone when I woke up. He nodded in agreement.

"Me too." he said, then took his place beside her. He her close on the narrow bed. Soon after, she was in a deep slumber. Though he felt a pain tugging at his heart strings, he gently kissed her forehead and left.

No matter. I'll be back again one of these days. Never could stay away from her he thought to himself.

****************

"Oh Buffy? A total bunny in the sack. Stamina. But then she gets all whiny and clingy. You do know the difference between a freshman girl and a toilet, right?" But before disgusting Parker Abrams could finish his denunciation of the Slayer, he found himself knocked to the floor with a powerful punch by a mightily pissed off blond haired man. Said man then picked him up and held him against a wall.

"If you ever talk about her like that again, I promise you won't live to regret it, pillock." Spike said in a low, deadly tone in Parker's ear. He could smell the fear coming off of the boy in waves.

"Bastard." he released him and stormed away from him before he made true on his promise right then and there.

"Outta my way." he grumbled as he pushed past Riley, Forrest and Graham.

"Whoa, looks like Buffy found herself a rebound guy pretty quick." Forrest said.

"Maybe he's a relative of some sort." Riley commented.

"Nah, I've seen angry brother types. This was definitely of the jealous boyfriend variety." Graham concluded.

"How peculiar." Riley said, feeling a little heavy hearted. Though he couldn't exactly put his finger on it.

"Oh goddess!" Willow said to herself, having observed the entire scene from the other side of the room.

"Buffy! Buffy are you okay?" Willow saw her friend lying still on her bed. she moved closer and saw the bite marks on her neck.

"Oh, Buffy, what happened?" she then burst into sobs at the site of her dead friend. The sobbing and heaving noises woke Buffy from her slumber and she opened her eyes to see her best friend.

"Willow? What's wrong?" Willow regarded her with a confused _expression before flinging herself on her friend for a very much relieved hug.

"Oh, I thought you were dead! I saw Spike and- hey, why didn't he kill you? Not that I'm not glad he didn't or anything." she finished nervously.

"Believe when I say it's a long story."

"Well, you've been gone since yesterday with no one knowing of your whereabouts, and believe when I say I love long stories. So spill."

"Well, you promise you won't be mad?"

"Sure. Why would I be mad?"

"Well, you see...."

****************

"Oh god." Willow said.

"Yeah, I know."

"Oh, god, not mad. Not mad at all. Just, ya know, confused, flabbergasted, and a giant truck load of fear. But not angry in the least." Willow said after hearing Buffy's tale.

"Well, how it all started totally wasn't my fault. I had no self control and- how the hell am I gonna explain this to Giles!" she exclaimed.

"Well, I'm guessin' ya don't. They would totally freak. I think this should just be our secret."

"Will, you haveta help me! I can't hide the bite marks. Giles would get all suspicious if tried to cover it up. It would take too long to heal. Please." she pleaded.

"Well, you could just say you, uh, got into a fight with him, which we all know, and he got the upper hand, see? And he bit you and left you for dead, but he didn't drain you. You just sorta passed out or something. You know, like that time with the Master?" she finished uncertainly.

"Yeah, yea! That could so work. I mean, it's fathomable, right?"

"Definitely." she said more surely than she felt.

****************

Giles' Flat

"Well, that seems rather careless for someone of his expertise." Giles said with disbelief.

"Yeah but, yay me, right?" Please don't question this! Buffy begged Giles in her mind.

"Yes, thank god for that. But Buffy, if he comes back, I want you to stay away from him. He's much too powerful now."

"Yeah, Buffster. Really don't need ya dying a second time. Well I mean, not anytime soon." Xander added.

"With ya there, Xander. But I don't think he'll be back." she said with a slight note of dread. After Willow told her of what he had done to Parker, she thought maybe there was still a chance. For him to do that, there had to have been genuine feelings there. Either that or some weirdo possessive guy thing. But somehow, it felt different, in a good reassuring way. Maybe he would come back. After all, Spike was hardly the quitting type. Yup, definitely persistent she thought happily.

****************

"Will you sod off about it, you silly bint!" Spike yelled.

"No, Spike. I want to know who she is and I want to know now. You leave for over a day, no one knows where you are, and you come back reeking of some other woman. Her smell's all over you!" Harmony half whined half yelled as she stamped her foot.

You're covered in her... Dru's words played through his mind. He sighed deeply.

"Harmony, really pet. I don't see what you're so upset over." he said in a placating tone.

"What?!" she screeched.

"Well, its just that, I came home to you, baby." he said.

"Oh, you'll always be my little lamb, Spikey Bear!" she said as she jumped into his arms.

"Yeah. But we gotta go pet. We're leaving Sunnyhell. Tonight."

"Why?" Because if I don't, I'll drive myself around the bleeding bend a hundred bloody times over obsessing over the Slayer.

"Got what I came for. Best be moving on now." he lied.

"Oh, Can we go to Paris? I've always wanted to go!" she said excitedly.

"Sure. Now let's pack then." Buffy she's certainly not. But a regular slip and tickle never hurt anyone he thought.

7 weeks later in Sunnydale

Diary of Rupert Giles

Seven weeks, forty-nine days. So much has happened. More accurately, so much has gone to the proverbial pits of hell. Oz left Willow, causing her to perform spells in a preposterous attempt to make her fell better. Said spells left me temporarily blind and turning Xander into a demon magnet.

Xander and Anya have become a definite item and appear to be joined at the hip (not in a literal sense, of course). Anya's quirky sayings and anecdotes, though quite colorful, can (at most times) be quite blunt and disturbing.

However, the worst was yet to come. Of these seven weeks, the worst was the discovery of Buffy's pregnancy. She then proceeded to tell me (though thankfully not in great detail) the actual happenings of the day she fought with Spike.

Though everything that I know as a watcher leads me to believe that this is incorrect, she believes that the child she is carrying is that of Spike's.

"Buffy, in all our history, a vampire has never been known to conceive or produce a child. Never." I argued.

"Maybe the Gem had something to with it. Look, I know this sounds crazy, but you have to believe me. I can feel it, Giles. I can feel it." she said carefully.

"Buffy, I have never, by any means been in your situation, but I certainly doubt that after seven weeks that you would be able to feel anything that-"

"The demon, Giles. My baby has a demon, and I can feel it." she said somberly. "At first I thought my Slayer senses were all screwed up, but when I found out for sure I..." the look of overt horror that flickered across his face caused her to stop her explanation as her eyes welled up with tears. She turned away from him as she continued.

"I know you don't like this. I know that it scares you. It scares me too but, I can't kill my baby Giles. I can't." she finished as silent tears escaped her eyes.

"Buffy, think please. Think of how dangerous this is! What if, what if your child isn't- isn't quite right?" he said quietly. At that she turned back around and looked at him in the eyes.

"Then that's a chance I'm willing to take." she replied with finality.

"Buffy, I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've spoken with Joyce, and she agrees that a child, of any sort, will only negatively effect you. Believe when I say that this would be for the best. If you keep this child, only dreary days will lie ahead."

"You know, there's an old saying that in order to see the rainbow, you gotta go through a helluva lot of rain. And for this child Giles, I prepared to go through an entire storm."

I should have known better. My Buffy was always determined. I suppose that after four years, I should have known better. But I wanted so much more for her. After Angel left, I was sure the worst was over. I was... relieved. Angel was definitely an anomaly as far as vampires went, but I guess its fair to say he is no longer the only one. Runs in "the family" I suspect.

This whole situation is completely insane, but now I have come to the realization of how crazy and terrible it has become. I see the look in her eye or the way her voice slightly alters at the mention of him. I know I'm not paranoid because the others have noticed it too (especially to Xander's chagrin). I just hope that he is never to return, for he can only bring hurt and corruption to her life. But also for the sake of this child.

Giles closed his book and stood up.

Xander's Basement

"I just don't get it, Will. Why the hell would she want to keep that thing?!" Xander said outraged.

"Xander, it's not that simple. It never is." Willow said in attempt to calm him down from his thirty-one minute and, oh forty-two second rant.

"Yeah, I get that, except that it's half demon. She said it herself."

"Yes, but you forgot that it's, the baby, I mean, is half hers. Xander, we're her best friends. She needs us; our support and our love. And hey, Mr. Big Hypocrite!" she exclaimed while swatting him on the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Stop being such a baby. How can either of us judge her? Especially you. How quickly we forget indeed. I've dated a robot demon and a werewolf, and your track record consists of Anya, the former 1120 year old vengeance demon, praying mantis lady, a mummy girl and a Cordelia. So how bout you just back off, buster." Willow said with her infamous resolve face. Xander allowed the info to marinate in his brain. Then a cloud of guilt covered his face ad he exhaled deeply.

"Yeah. Point taken. Besides, we always said there would never be normal relationships for us on a hellmouth. I promise to stop being an ass." he said with a wan smile.

"Well good, cause I would've hated to put a spell on you. You know, again. Hey, maybe in a few months, let's throw her a baby shower or something."

"Yeah, it would be a party and parties are always fun. Well, except when it's one of Buffy's..."

"Yeah, yeah... but hey! This time it'll be majorly different. No demon parts or raising the dead masks are gonna stop us."

"I sure hope so, Will."

1630 Revello Drive

"Buffy, how could you be so irresponsible?"

"It's not like I knew, mom. Besides, I wasn't exactly myself. Remember: mind altering beer?"

"But sweetheart, you can do something about it before this gets out of hand." Joyce said in a placating tone.

"God, haven't you been listening? I will not kill my own child. Come to think of it, I'm glad it's Spike's. I'd probably kill myself if it was Parker's."

"Don't talk like that young lady. You know you don't mean it. But what about school, your slayer duties, your life? Why do you insist on throwing it away?"

"I'm not. Mom, look, I just couldn't- I won't kill my own child. Would you?" Well, except that one time with the whole burning me at the stake.

As if reading her daughter's thoughts, she replied, " In my right mind, of course not."

"Then you don understand why I've decided to do this?"

"Oh, sweetheart." she said as she embraced her in a hug.

"If you ever need anything..."

"I know. Well, actually, I was wondering if in oh, say a few months, if I could, ya know, move back in?" she asked timidly.

"I was hoping you would say that. It's too quiet here without you anyway. I think it's for the best."

"Oh, thank god!"

*********************

UC Sunnydale- Lunch Hall

"So, why don't you just ask her out already." Forrest said.

"What? Who are you talking about?" Riley asked, quite perplexed.

"Oh come on man. It's so obvious. We all know you've got the hots for Buffy Summers." he said with a devilish grin, swallowing another spoonful of cheerios.

"Yeah man. You ogle her like all the time and talk about how 'peculiar' she is." Graham added.

"Well, maybe. But she's spoken for." Riley said ruefully.

"No she isn't. She's all alone and ripe for the picking." Forrest countered.

"How do you know? What about the bleached haired guy?"

"You mean the one that was hell bent on protecting her chastity? Oh he's long gone, man. Haven't you seen the forlorn look in her eyes?" Forrest asked.

"No."

"Riley man, you don't have a clue, do you? None of us have seen him awhile, meaning he is out of the picture." Graham said.

"Besides, what do you got to lose? The worst that could happen is she says no. But then, you'd be in the exact same position you're in now. Alone." Forrest said as he rose from his seat.

"So, what's it gonna be Finn?"

"It's just, she's probably looking for Joe Normal."

"And you're not him, Mr. Iowa?" Forrest asked incredulously.

"Fine. Affirmative in requesting a date to one Buffy Summers." Riley said with finality.

*************

Later at the Library

"Willow, hey!" Riley said cheerfully.

"Oh hi Riley. What can I do for you?" " Oh, I just wanted to see how you were and all. Sorry about your breakup." he said sympathetically.

"Oh, thanks. I'm dealing fine." she replied nonchalantly.

"Say, I was wondering that if you weren't busy, maybe we could-"

"Riley, sorry but, you're nice and all, but it's just too soon."

"What? Oh, no I just wanted to talk to you about something. Someone, actually, not that going out with you wouldn't be nice too." he said with a nervous chuckle.

"Oh. That's okay. Sorry about the mix up." she said as he took the empty seat next to her.

"Well, I figured if anyone would know her better, it'd be you. The only thing I know she likes is you, so I figured..."

"Buffy, oh Riley..." Willow thought about it for a moment. Maybe a date with a seemingly nice safe guy like Riley would be good for her. Or maybe she would want to be alone. Too soon and all. Or, how about this Rosenberg- she decides for herself?

"Well, I honestly don't know what she'd say Riley. She's going through a trying time right now."

"Has she ever talked bout me?" he asked eagerly.

"Sorry." she said with a kind, yet pitying look on her face.

"That's okay. I'll just have to make myself noticeable."

"Yeah, that's the spirit. Just have a nice, friendly chat with her."

"Can you tell me what she likes? Maybe help me strike up a conversation?"

"Umm... there's cheese, figure skating- though in a non ironic way, and she has a stuffed piggy named Mr. Gordo that she's had since she was a little kid.

"Uh huh. Not very much to go on."

"Well, the rest if for you to find out, my friend."

*************

In the Quad...

"I don't know Riley. There's lots of things going on in my life, and I think that-"

"Just a coffee or something. Nothing serious." Once he found out her little secret, she knew it would definitely be nothing serious. He was nice and all, but kinda like a really boring Angel... So don't need to go there she thought pensively. It wouldn't be fair to drag hi into all of this, but it was no harm in being nice.

"Okay, but just coffee, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Coffee and friendly conversation."

**************

Back at the dorm...

"So, how'd your not-a-date go?" Willow asked.

"By far, more interesting than I ever imagined." Buffy said sarcastically.

"That bad, huh?"

"Ugh. Worse. I mean, he's nice enough, but for the first fifteen minutes he babbled on about cheese and get this- figure skating. Totally weird."

Willow's eyes grew, but she remained silent.

"You should still give him chance though. I mean as a friend. Friends are always a good thing, right?"

"Guess not. But I so don't need another failed relationship right now."