Summary: During "Flooded" when Buffy is standing on the back porch and Spike
appears. They have a nice talk that leads to startling questions and
revelations.
Disclaimer: I do not own the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel (The Series). All of the characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, et al.
Feedback: Yes Please! AureliusGrace@aol.com
Part One
Buffy could hear it all going on behind her as she stood outside on the back
porch.
The uneven, high-pitched cadence of Willow's, the proper, British rumble of
Giles', and picking up on her name enough times to know who it was they were
discussing. She couldn't make out everything, but from the overall tone, she
could tell that it wasn't just happiness at her being back.
In all, it really just made her feel worse than ever, and the secret she was
concealing was starting to tear her up inside as the gang rushed to congratulate
themselves on a job well done.
But Spike knew.
She had not felt the same need to protect him from the truth. And he had kept
her secret, not mentioning it once again. It was so weird. Her newfound
friendship or relationship, whatever you wanted to call it, with Spike was the
only real connection she'd made since she returned from the grave.
Even though he hadn't said anything (yet), she knew he still loved her. In
every look and every touch, she could feel it and maybe that's why she went to
him. Because she didn't have to act a certain way or pretend she was fine, he
would still look at her like a schoolboy and touch her with the gentleness of
his poet's heart.
Somewhere along the path, she had begun to depend on Spike's feelings for her
like she depended on Giles for authority. It was just one of those universal
constants in her life.
She thought all this as she looked up at the moon, watching its beams fall
acroos the trees creating shadows in the depths of her backyard.
Suddenly, a cigarette stub fell out of the air coming to rest before her feet on
the porch.
Speak of the devil.
She reached out with her booted toe and crushed the stub into the ground. A
small smile lighted upon her lips.
"Hello, Spike."
He appeared before her. A black-clad figure on a moon-lit night looking, for
all the world, like he was on an errand for some malevolent purpose. But, to
her, he brought a sense of relief.
He tilted his head to the side and returned her smile with a small one of his
own.
"You hear all that noise?" He looked to the kitchen window as if she didn't know
what he was talking about.
She tossed her head slightly and resumed her observation of the moon. "Just
enough to make me feel crappy."
He began striding up the steps with the grace of a panther, but stopped before
he reached her. "You know Watcher Boy doesn't mean anything by it."
She looked at him then wondering what exactly he'd heard when she'd only been
able to get the gist of it, but she remembered before her surprise shown
through. Vampire hearing.
"I guess. Everyone..." She trailed off not knowing how to put it into words,
but his expression encouraged her to trudge ahead. "They all care. They all
care so much. It...makes it all harder."
He blinked. "I'm not sure I followed you round that bend, love," he spoke
before coming up the next step.
"I don't know." Her irritation with the whole thing was starting to bleed out,
but she didn't care. "I just - I feel like I'm spending all my time trying to
be okay, so they don't worry." Her tone dropped. "It's exhausting. And then,
I -"
After cutting off, she lifted her right hand from where her arms where crossed
and flexed her fingers in a clear sign of frustration before focusing her
attention on the ground.
Spike seemed to understand. "And that makes them worry even more."
She raised her gaze to him and arched an eyebrow in response. No matter how
many times he did it, she was always a little shaken at how well he could read
her. Not that she'd ever tell him.
He came the rest of the way up to stand beside her in the still night. She
could feel his eyes on her, but she kept her own firmly staring at the ground.
"You want me to take them out? Give me a hell of a headache, but I could
probably thin the herd a little."
She could tell he was joking at the moment so a little chuckle broke through the
internal sulk she was having.
"I knew I could get a grin."
She finally turned to look at him when she detected a hint of arrogance in his
voice. He was gazing back with one of his trademark smirks and everything else
went out of her head.
The moment held for one second and then everything came crashing back down on
her as she took a seat on the steps. She sighed deeply as he sat down beside
her. Peering towards her, he waited patiently for her to continue the
conversation.
"Why are you always around when I'm miserable?" Her voice had taken on a dead
quality.
Spike smirked again as he looked away. "'Cause that's when you're alone, I
reckon." He leaned forward until most of his face was illuminated by the silver
light. "I'm not one for crowds myself these days."
Buffy turned to respond with a touch of shared experience. "Me neither."
He smiled at her softly. "That works out nicely then."
They sat the next few moments in comfortable, companionable silence before
anyone spoke again.
Buffy had been replaying the whole conversation in her head when she voiced a
thought out loud. "You would really do it, wouldn't you?"
He looked at her curiously with that tilt to his head. "Do what, pet?"
"Kill someone if I asked you to." Her tone was actually rather amazed instead of
the disgust he was used to hearing from her when anything related to his violent
past was brought up.
He gave her the once-over to make sure she was serious before answering
earnestly. "If you really wanted me to, then, yeah. No matter what it might do
to me, chip and all."
She seemed to accept this and went back to staring at the space in front of her.
Spike heaved an inward sigh of relief, but it was short-lived. His heart jumped
into his throat when he heard her next question.
"Why are you still here?"
He stood up quickly and descended the steps. Turning back around, he gave a
short nod without meeting her eyes and failed to notice her confused expression.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to overstay my welcome. I'll just be going then. Good
night."
She was after him in a flash, stopping him by a firm grip on his elbow. The
pain in his sapphire eyes was enough to indicate to her that he'd interpreted
her question as another rejective dismissal.
She tried to soothe him by using her most even tone. "Spike, I meant Sunnydale.
Why are you still in Sunnydale? I was dead and there was nothing left for you
here."
He felt himself relax under her words, happy for the moment that she seemed to
want his company and conversation. "I made a promise to that I'd protect
Nibblet and I always keep my word."
She didn't seem to be satisfied. "You have just looked out for her then.
Willow told me you patrolled with the gang almost every night and you even
pitched in to do research every once in a while. Why would you do that? It's
not like you were going to be rewarded for it."
Spike dropped his eyes and began shuffling his feet. Buffy was once again
reminded of the schoolboy innocence he seemed to possess at times.
His words came out just above a whisper. "I knew it's what you would've wanted.
I couldn't bear the thought of you being up there, somewhere, looking down on
me and being upset."
He hadn't looked up at all through that little speech, but he did when he felt
her small hand brush against his cheek. His eyes were full of wonder.
"Thank you. For keeping Dawn and my friends from being killed even though it
wasn't really your responsibility."
Her voice was filled with genuine gratitude and he revelled in it. Afraid of
exposing too much emotion, he closed his eyes and gently lay his hand on top of
the one resting on his cheek.
A moment passed where both were scared of breaking the silence and shattering
the tenderness that flowed between them at the small gesture.
Before Spike could open his eyes, Buffy had moved forward and pressed her lips
against his own. It started out as a sweet, chaste kiss, much like the one they
had shared after he'd been beaten to a pulp by Glory, but he wouldn't be taken
in again. This time, he was ready for her.
He grasped her hips loosely stating clearly that he wasn't letting go but she
still controlled the situation. He felt her hand slide from his cheek down his
neck and around to the back where her fingers tangled themselves in the bleached
curls at his nape.
It was then that she drug the tip of her tongue across his bottom lip, silently
asking for entrance. It took all his self-control not to crush her to him at
that instant as he began to feel a tightness in his pants.
She coaxed his own tongue out to play and soon, they were engaged in a
passionate, dueling kiss. Desire was shooting through both of them and it was
demanding to be fulfilled.
Spike pulled her closer until there was almost no space left between them.
Buffy's other hand was tightly clinging to the lapel of his leather duster. She
raised one of her legs, wrapping it around his waist, and started grinding her
sex against his now throbbing erection nearly making Spike lose his mind.
He came closer to losing it when she pulled away abruptly. After regaining his
senses, he stopped seeing red when he focused on the fact that she was leading
him up the porch steps and through the back door, all the while gesturing for
him to be quiet.
Part Two
As soon as they crossed the threshold, she heard something crash through the
front door. Cursing the timing, she pushed Spike back down the steps.
"Go around front and we'll meet in the middle."
Not stopping to see if he followed her instructions, she ran through the kitchen
into the living room. She found there an unconscious Giles, a screaming Dawn,
and also, standing in her foyer was the demon from the bank, identified earlier
as M'Fashnik.
Buffy grabbed the demon's arm and pulled him away from her sister. She surveyed
the damage to the house. "You're paying for that door, buddy." She kicked him
back out said door and right into Spike, who was coming up the stairs to the
front porch. Both figures ended up sprawled out on her front lawn.
She jumped on the back of the prone demon while it was down and took it by the
head. A quick flick of her wrist and its neck snapped.
Buffy rose to her feet just as Spike was getting to his. She looked his way
with amusement written all over her face.
"I was surprised, Slayer," he said with a sneer. "Now don't you be getting back
on your high horse. I haven't lost my touch yet."
His choice of words make her flush under his gaze and what they had been doing
in the back quickly rushed to the forefront of her mind.
"Umm, Spike," she diverted her eyes away from his and looked back towards the
broken door. "I need to get back inside and check on everyone. Why don't you
get rid of the body and I'll see you later?"
Disappointment flashed in his eyes a mere second before the resolve settled into
his face. Buffy's heart twisted painfully in her chest as she watched him move
swiftly to the body. She paused beside him and lay her hand upon his arm.
He stopped what he was doing and looked into her face. "I meant later tonight,
Spike." She headed back towards the house, but called softly over her shoulder.
"I'll leave my window open."
*~*~*
Everyone in the house was fine though a little shaken by the demon attack. It's
been a while since one had actually been in her house.
Tara and Willow had come down from upstairs and started tending to Giles with
Dawn helping by the time Buffy came back in.
She turned in the foyer and gave the front door a long-suffering glance. She
couldn't count the number of times that door had either been replaced or fixed
after one of her slaying misadventures.
After the girls arranged Giles comfortably on the couch and deciding to leave
the mess for morning, they convened in the kitchen.
Tara watched Buffy worriedly. "What do you think the demon wanted?"
Buffy shook her head, missing the expression on the witch's face. "I don't
know, but he's dead now. We should just try to go to bed. We won't be able to
find out more until morning anyway."
Willow was also worried. "Do you think whoever sent that demon will send more?
Shouldn't we be, I don't know, prepared maybe?"
Buffy just waved off their concerns. "That demon was the same one from the
bank. I doubt there will be more, at least not tonight."
The other three just nodded and the group of girls trudged up the stairs and
back to bed. Buffy tucked Dawn back in before grabbing a change of clothes in
her room and heading to the shower.
She felt the tension in her body uncoil under the hot water spray. She stood
there for a few minutes and just let herself relax. When her fingers started to
look on the pruny side, she quickly washed her hair and body before turning off
the water and stepping out.
Buffy wrapped a fluffy towel around her wet form and picked up her brush. She
wiped her hand through the steam on the mirror above the sink and studied her
reflection.
Her makeup had been washed off in the shower, and she was left looking tired and
pale. Her normally vibrant, hazel eyes were framed by dark circles and appeared
overly bright and too large for her face. She was thinner, too. Her cheekbones
jutted out more noticeably and you could clearly see the line of her collarbone.
Buffy shook it off just like she had been doing everything for the last few
days. She would have plenty of time to eat better now that she wasn't dead.
She pulled the brush through her damp hair a few times, finally fixing it up in
an elastic. She dried off with the towel and changed into the clothes she'd
picked out, a tank top and a pair of shorts.
After setting the towel in the laundry hamper, she walked quietly to her room
where she was met with a closed door.
Didn't I leave that open?
She shrugged and entered her room closing the door softly behind her.
The silver moonlight was spilling in through the open window illuminating the
room with a glow, but Buffy didn't give it a moment's notice. She crossed to
her vanity and sat upon the chair reaching for her bottle of vanilla lotion.
She routinely lathered it on her uncovered limbs before moving towards the bed.
She was looking forward to slipping between her cool sheets and letting a deep
slumber overtake her. It had been a trying day in a number of ways.
Her hand reached out to pull down the sheet and instead, came in contact with
something hard.
A gasp of surprise escaped her before a hand clapped over her mouth and a voice
spoke in her ear.
"Did you forget about your little invite?"
Spike released her and sank back against the headboard of the bed. From what
she could see, he was naked from the waist up, the sheet covered the rest. She
hadn't even noticed he was there since that part of her room was mostly in
shadow. The particular twinge she got around this vampire was there, but she
was so used to it that she guessed she'd shrugged it off as normal. She was
probably more comfortable with Spike now than she was with Angel in their
heyday.
"I'm sorry, Spike. I let my mind wander and I got kinda distracted." She
wrapped her arms around herself and looked downward. Her voice dropped to
nearly a whisper. "I think everyone's scared of me, or maybe of what I might
do. Even Dawn."
He gathered her in his arms and gave her a comforting squeeze. "No, luv.
They're just worried about you. Your friends love you. They wouldn't have
brought you back if they didn't."
She relaxed against his chest letting his words flow into her. "I guess you're
right. I think I'm just being paranoid. Coming back from the dead will do that
to you."
They both chuckled at her words and a shared experience resonated between them
unsaid.
She leaned a little away from him peering into his so-very-blue eyes. Her face
was earnest. "Why do you blame yourself for what happened?"
Spike was taken aback. He dropped his arms from around her body. "Because
you're you. Buffy, the Slayer, you have family and friends, and a whole life
here. So many people depend on you, every day. I should have died in your
place. It wouldn't have mattered. Nobody depends on me."
"I do."
His eyes widened in response to her firm and honest declaration. She took the
chance to lean in close until their lips were nearly touching.
"There was only one regret I had when I jumped. There were too many other
things going on at the time to act on it and I didn't know for sure I was going
to die until I was standing with Dawn on the tower. It was this."
She eliminated the space between them by pressing her lips against his. The
result was electric.
They fell upon each other in a frenzy to get as close as possible. Buffy yanked
the sheet off of him and his beautiful, hard body was revealed for her eyes.
His hands nimbly freed her from clothing as they poured all their pent-up
emotions into their kisses.
Soon, after some careful manuevering, Buffy was on her back with the cool sheet
beneath her and a lustful vampire above her. His lower body was nestled between
her thighs and she was open for him, ready to let him enter her body and her
heart.