Spike slept in the passenger's seat next to Buffy as she drove them out to Fernridge Institute. Buffy had already shared her plans with Dawn, so she wouldn't worry if Buffy was late. One unique piece of information Dawn had shared, which helped explain part of John Westerberg's hostility, was that Jane was a mute. No wonder she was silent in Buffy's dream. Fernridge was indeed remote, the only sign of life along a one hundred mile two lane highway. She could see the building's roof from the road, it was set deep in a nesting forest, but the property was encased behind a ten foot stone wall. There were no gates and the entrance was highlighted with a stone carved sign above an archway.

Passing through to the driveway, Buffy was met by almost spectral looking trees, mostly ash and very old. Coming to the end of the road Buffy nearly laughed at the stereotypical old manor. Surely it at once been someone's home. The mansion was three stories tall and though not colored white she thought it belonged in Gone with the Wind. There were no cars to be seen anywhere near the entrance so she pulled the SUV off to one side. As soon as she turned off the ignition Spike awoke with a jolt, mindlessly clawing at his surroundings.

"Hey, hey, calm down," she soothed, unhooking his seatbelt and letting him move freely.

"Where are the walls? When I open my eyes there should be walls, no air, no light. I'm supposed to be in the box. Buffy?"

"Yeah, it's me. We're here to look for Jane remember?"

"I remember."

"Okay. Now do me a favor, don't say anything, let me do all the talking."

"Quiet as a dormouse. I'll behave, don't want the the cane...strap, paddle, fist."

"There is no cane, Spike."

***

The first impression of the institute's interior was that though it was large, it was welcoming and offering solace. Leather couches lined the entrance, there was plant life in large pots and paintings on the walls. Spike held on the back of her coat like a child in a crowd, shivering slightly, still wearing only a white tank top and thin cargos. She admonished herself for not thinking to at least find him something warmer. There wasn't a spec of dust around, not even on the Corinthian wall sconces of carved cherry wood. The floors were marble and even in soft shoes, the pair made enough noise for an echo. A grandfather clock began chiming somewheen transferred. Why don't we start with your name..."

"Randy!" Spike blurted out. Buffy pinched the bridge of her nose, she wasn't sure she wanted things to go this way, but it was too late.

"Hello Randy, I'm Nurse Beckett. What's your full name Randy?"

"It's Randall Giles," Buffy answered for him.

"Do you have any bags? We can get you settled into a room."

"We didn't bring anything with us, it was all kind of sudden."

"I understand, that is often the way. And your name miss?"

"Buffy Summers."

"And your relation to Randall?"

"Friend...his er, father is in England, he doesn't have any other family."

"Alright if you'll both follow me..." Nurse Beckett trotted off towards an office, while Spike and Buffy lagged behind.

"Are you out of your mind?!" She asked him.

"Mostly. I will find the lady for you, promise. Go back home to the lil' bit tonight, ol' Spike'll be fine, Slayer."

Chapter 12 - Windows to the Soul

Buffy told a very colorful tale to Nurse Beckett. Randy had delusions of being a vampire, Randy drank pig's blood, Randy was terrified of sunlight, and so on and so forth. Spike of course lapped up the spun fantasy, given his over enthusiasm to do good here as well as the fact that it was all true. He was escorted away from her by two burly orderlies, he'd looked over his shoulder at her and she'd seen the fear in his eyes, he didn't want to be here in the least. This charade was all to please her and definitely not for want to be back in her bed, he just wanted to do good. The guilt was not welcome. She promised him she'd be back first thing in the morning.

Spike had a mantra repeated over and over in his fractured mind, Lady Jane, Lady Jane, Lady Jane, find the girl, help Buffy. He focused on the mission, ignored the orderlies pushing him down the upstairs hallway, ignored their questions and when they mocked him. He was shoved into a small bedroom, a towel and other toiletries tossed in with him. They left the door unlocked, but when it was shut and he was alone, he simply cowered on the bed and tried to sleep.

***

There was a knock upon the door before Nurse Beckett came into the Doctor's study. He sat in his Victorian chair surrounded by books and antiquities from all over the world. A Tiffany lamp illuminated the documents he was perusing, wireframe glasses making his eyes appear larger than they were."Dr. Thaddeus, the new patient from Sunnydale has arrived," she informed, quite pleased with herself.

"Excellent. He's late, though, but then these types are never very predictable. Has the girl left?"

"Yes, but she's coming back first thing in the morning."

"Ah, well, then we'll just wait until she's gone tomorrow. Thank you, Nurse Beckett, you can leave now."

"Yes Doctor." Reclining back in his chair, the doctor stretched his arm out to his side, and flicked over the knight on the chess board situated atop a table.

"Excellent indeed."

***

"NURSE?! NURSE??!!!" a young man screamed.

"NO! I don't wanna take a bath!!" another cried.

"Ah! Ah! AH!!!" Was that a man? Or an animal?

"No, no, not helpful, hardly helpful. Where's our quiet?" Spike muttered to himself, the pillow from the bed over his head as he tried to block out the noise. He'd slept for many hours, but woke when the most recent nightmare reached its climax and he came to screaming like the poor souls on the other side of his door."I'll wait here for days longer...till she comes to wash my sins away. She is the lady that can ease my sorrow, tere and Spike let out a small yelp and moved away from Buffy against the wall. It was 6pm and suddenly the doors on either side of the lounge burst opened and dozens of people filled the room. The Slayer moved herself in front of the vampire to prevent anyone from touching or upsetting him.

Patients in pajamas and robes, nurses in crisply pressed white uniforms and dark green cardigans, doctors in suits and lab coats all moved about in a melee as they transferred themselves from one room to another. After a few minutes of activity, the doors were closed up again and the silence returned. Standing solitary before them was an African American man of middle age, holding a clipboard against his double breasted suit jacket.

"Are you the arrivals from Sunnydale?" he inquired, checking over his chart,"You're an hour late."

"No, um, no..." Buffy stammered, still a little off from the scene they'd just witnessed. Spike began nervously tearing at the fronds of a fern and Buffy grabbed his hands and held them behind her back to prevent him from continuing.

"Then why are you here?"

"To visit someone."

"Ah...perhaps you're unaware, but our hospital does not permit visitors at such a late hour. I'm afraid you'll have to wait until morning, it's dinner time presently and we don't encourage deviation from routine."

"Please, we've come a very long way."

"Dr. J. Hamilton to Ward Seven. Dr. J. Hamilton to Ward Seven," a woman's voice called over an intercom, her voice seeming as if it seeped from the walls.

"Excuse me, I'm needed." Without a second glance he was off up the stairs at the end of the foyer.

"Well, that went over like the proverbial lead balloon," Buffy grumbled. She fought for balance when Spike suddenly dropped his head on her shoulder and leaned into her,"Spike...what are you doing?"

"Sleep now."

"Spike, now's really not the time, besides you just woke up...we need to check this place out."

"Vanilla, berries and Jasmine...you're so lovely." She closed her eyes, her fingers tightening around his hands, but only for a moment and she pulled away, letting go.

"Jane needs our help." He came out of his daze, holding his hands out.

"Make it quick. Twelve lashes, sharp and fast, that's how Headmaster, Sir, always did it." She softened as he looked away, tilting his gaze upwards in anticipation of a beating. She took his hands again and sighed.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"Don't understand...you don't want the other, if you don't want me, it must be the first, the pains. I don't understand Buffy. Hurt me so I understand what you want from me."

"I just want your help in finding Jane. Would it be better for you to wait in the car?"

"Pardon me?" a woman's voice called from beside them. Both turned to see the woman, she was very tall and broad, handsome, but certainly not beautiful. She stood perfectly erect with a old 1950s style nurse's bonnet atop her head and orthopedic shoes on her feet. Her hair was so tight on her head it pulled the skin on her face even more taut."Do you belong here?"

"YES!" Spike shouted out, surprising both the nurse and Buffy.

"Are you the new arrival from Sunnydale?"

"That's me...yes, un uh...sign me up, where's m' straight jackey?"

"Are you responsible for this man Miss?"

"Yes, I guess so...listen there's been a mistake," Buffy answered.

"Don't worry, we'll take good care of him here, we're very dedicated, the staff is highly trained. Now, there will be forms to fill out before his medical records have bhat helps me find my way....must help the girl. Help the girl. Help the girl. Help my girl, help Buffy. Must wait, wait till quiet time. There's no sleep today, I can't pretend...all my dreams are crimes...can't stand facing them. No one will come to wash away my sins, fix my meals, be my friend. No cure now...it's stuck in here...they're both stuck...gotta pull it together, work together. Come on lads...gotta go see about a girl." He came out from under the covers, tossing the pillow back behind him as he rose to his feet."Right, Spike, this one's on you." He stalked to the door, yarded it open and was met by a man twice his size in girth and a good foot taller, dressed down with a robe over his shoulders. He glowered at Spike and the vampire slammed his door shut, sinking to the ground."Maybe later."

***

Later came close on 3am, when the institute was finally quiet."In the wooden chair beside my window I wear a face born in the falling rain. I talk to shadows from a lonely candle. Recite the phrases from the wall. I can't explain this...Holy pain...well, I probably could, but I just can't be bothered," Spike ruminated to the room,"Got a mission in mind, a purpose, got a lady to save...bloody hell - first time we've said bloody hell since we came together. How's it feel? Pretty good...." He opened his door to the dimly lit hallway, for the first time giving it a perusal. It was very similar to the downstairs, but lined with doors,"Alice down the rabbit hole then is it? Do you remember your lesson? Of course! Recite! How doth the little busy bee...No, pillock, the other. 'You are old father William,' the young man cried,'The few locks which are left you are grey; You hale, father William, a hearty old man; Now tell me the reason I pray.'..should I go on? Quiet now, finding the girl..."

He inched carefully down the corridors, peeking into rooms where the doors were unlocked, seeing other men like himself, but no sign of the lady. He slithered down the stairs on his tummy to the second floor like a serpent needling through blades of grass. He could tell this was where the women slept, perfumes and distinct scents permeated the air, it reminded him of the lingering scent of Buffy from earlier that evening. He was compelled to stand up straight like a proper gentleman, show the ladies his respect. Most of the rooms were locked from the inside, not bolted with locks on the outside like most of the rooms one flight up. A cool breeze tickled his ankles and sent shivers over his skin. It came from a room straight ahead, its door ajar. He slipped inside and closed the it behind him.

She sat in a chair at an open window, her white nightgown hardly warm enough. Spike retrieved a blanket from her bed and lay it over her before kneeling down to look up at her expressionless face and eyes that though were wide open, saw nothing."Knock knock little bird, tic tock...anyone home? The cuckoo's on the twelve, time to come out and play," he sing songed,"Are you in there, love? Are you...oh......no...no.......no......." When he looked into her eyes he saw inside her, saw what they'd done to her soul.

Chapter 13 - Inmate

By morning, Spike was back in his room, huddled under the thin quilt in a fetal position on the bed. The door to his room was opened and nurse Beckett came in followed by an orderly."Randall, it's morning. Time to get up.." She proclaimed, going to open his curtains.

"No! Keep them shut! Please!" Spike begged the moment he woke up.

"Oh yes, that's right, Miss Summers told me about your aversion to sunlight. It's alright this one time, but you know the sun can't really hurt you."

"Easy for you to say!"

"Perhaps so. You are scheduled for your first meeting with Dr. Hamilton in ten minutes. You may have a shower afterwards before breakfast. There will be fresh clothing provided, the same as all the other patients."

***

Buffy waited nervously in the foyer of the institute. Dawn was lounging on one of the couches, still grumbling about having to get up early on a Saturday morning. Visiting hours were from 9am-3pm and Buffy wanted to be there before nine. On the flipside, despite her minor complaints, it had been Dawn's idea to bring Spike things from home, all nicely packed in a knapsack.

"Miss Summers?" Nurse Beckett called, emerging from an office into the entrance hall,"Good morning."

"Hello again. This is my sister, Dawn. We'd like to see Randy."

"I'm afraid that's not possible."

"Excuse me? Why the hell not?"

"He's still in his morning session with the doctor."

"Oh...sorry..."

"I understand how apprehensive you were to leave Randall here last night. Would you like to wait in his room?"

"Yes, thanks." The Nurse led the Summers sisters up two flights of stairs to the men's ward. There was a distinctly uneasiness to the institution, but Buffy surmised it was the notion of displaced minds and poor souls separated from their families that bothered her. Spike was one of them now. Dawn carried the knapsack, but also gripped the back of Buffy's shirt, just as Spike had yesterday. His room consisted of one unmade bed against a wall in a space of 8'x8', a beside table with drawers, a lamp and a chair. It looked more like a cell than a bedroom.

"Is it just me," Dawn asked as she straightened the bed,"Or is this place giving off a serious Hammer Horror vibe? Like where's Christopher Lee hiding?"

"It's not you, definite wiggins." There was a hurried scuffling sound outside the door before it was opened and Spike dressed in ugly pale green pajamas stumbled into the room, barely managing to stay on his feet. Behind him Buffy heard two men laughing. Stepping into view the Slayer gave two oversized orderlies her most menacing glare, followed up by Dawn and her I'm a hair puller, just try me look.

"There was a ripple in the carpet, he tripped," one of them sputtered out as an explanation.

"Is there a law or something that they can only hire degenerate bullies to take care of patients?"

"We're highly trained professionals, ma'am."

"Professional whats? Stay away from Randy or else!" With that parting comment she slammed the door in their faces. Spike moved towards his bed, unnoticing of either of his visitors. He curled himself into a small ball, dark circles under his eyes, face gaunt and ashen.

"Have you ever thought that the night could be hungry? Like it wants to eat you up? The night devours you here..." he spoke aloud, just as his haunted eyes fell upon Buffy,"It's quiet, the place she has gone. Not like me, there's noise where I am....but she doesn't hear the noises, they've put her in a box."

"You found Jane?" He nodded, then pointed to the floor.

"Right below."

"Is she okay?"

'She is quiet, does not see, hear nor speak. No sleep for Jane, trapped in the box."

"What kind of box? Is she in a cage or something?"

"Tiny space, little star on the black sky, deep inside her head."

"Buffy," Dawn whispered at her sister's side,"Look at him." Buffy followed Dawn's line of sight to the darkened purple bruises on Spike's arms, he'd obviously been manhandled.

"Spike are you alright? Your arms..." Buffy inquired, sitting down on the bed with him, her fingers touching him lightly,"How did you get these bruises.

"It's nothing. Told them I didn't want their runny eggs and cold toast. Stupid wankers. Don't they know vampires need only blood?"

"So they hurt you?"

"Could'a had 'em in a fair fight...but can't, chip...and, and I knew you wouldn't like it. Have I done what you needed of me? Did I do well Buffy?"

"Yeah, Spike, you did good."

"Ah! Ah! In here it's Randy. Vampire with a soul, on a mission of redemption! Right Joan?" He sat up and gave her a wink and a smile.

"Right. Randy, you remember my sister Umad?" Finally he saw the other girl.

"Nibblet?" He was astonished to see her, even a little frightened.

"Hey," she replied, giving him a little wave,"Got a soul huh? How's that going?"

"Perpetual unbridled torment."

"Oh...um..." Unable to answer, she delved into the knapsack to show him what they'd brought from home,"Hungry? 'Cause we've got fresh piggy! That sounded less cute outside of my head." She brought out a thermos and handed it to him,"Eat up. It's warm."

"Thank you..." He gulped down the entire contents immediately, then gave Dawn a bright smile,"Don't know where the Chief's gotten to...hope he doesn't miss the fishing trip later. Care for some Juicy Fruit?"

"Uh....no thanks and you're welcome. We brought other stuff too, namely clean clothes...'cause those things you've got on right now are just...you look like a Gump...no offense." She also brought out her portable CD player and a selection of punk favorites, her book of Shakespearean sonnets, a sketchpad and pencils, and a photograph of her and Buffy. Lastly she pulled out what had taken up the bulk of the sack's space. It was a simple patchwork quilt. It was passed first to Buffy who in turn wrapped it around Spike's shoulders."We figured you wouldn't be so lonely if you had something from us...it used to be..."

"Joyce," he completed,"It still smells like her...her kindness. May I ask, why? Why all this for me?"

"Because we care and you here to help Jane," Buffy explained, she then leaned in to speak softly in his ear,"I told you I forgave you and I meant it. I care about you, William." He was beginning to crumble and she worried it might unravel him. Her fingers stroked his arm and he calmed,"What else can you tell about last night?" He pulled the blanket up around his ears and lay his head on Buffy's shoulder.

"There is evil here that does not sleep. I feel it in the walls, smell it in the air...something's coming."

Chapter 14 - The Chalice

Spike said nothing else that morning and fell asleep on Buffy's shoulder. They made him comfortable, and feeling a swell of emotion, Buffy kissed him. He licked his lips and continued sleeping. She'd made the decision to return that night after taking Dawn home, she wanted to see Jane Westerberg for herself, sneaking into the institution was a likely must. She was also not going to abandon Spike to some evil that does not sleep.

Coming down the stairs with Dawn in tow they were met in the foyer by Dr. Hamilton, from the previous night."Hello ladies, I'm Dr. Jacob Hamilton, I've taken over the case of Mr. Randall Giles. I'd like to discuss it with you if I may."

"By all means, I have a few concerns myself," Buffy answered."Nurse Beckett said you had a meeting with him this morning?"

"We did indeed and frankly Miss, my conclusion is grave. Randall suffers from paranoid delusions, he hears voices and there's also the issue of self-mutilation. I'm surprised he hasn't been put under care sooner."

"He only got this way this past summer."

"Indeed, well, I can tell you, as you may know, that he has spun himself a very intricate web. He claims to be 145 years old and a vampire. He divulged to me carefully crafted tales of his life in London, his time with three other 'vampires' named Angelus, Darla and Drusilla...we only got as far as the early 20th century. I'm recommending to the State that Randall be given indefinite institutionalization, a full course of medications to stabilize him, and daily therapy sessions. We'll also be weaning him of his apparent taste for blood, gradually exposing him to sunlight..."

"God, no! Doctor...the sun..he's, he's terrified of it. It really does burn him...it's that disease..."

’’Xeroderma Pigmentosum?"

"Yes! That's it. Doctor, don't rush him."

"The sooner we begin treatment, the sooner he can be cured."

"Just wait, please, let him get comfortable..." The doctor sighed and nodded.

"We'll wait a few days, let him get settled in. I presumed you'll be visiting again tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"I'll see you then. I will however be giving him sedatives at night to help him sleep. The details he shared with me of his nightmares are, to be honest the most horrific I've heard of in all my years of practice. Whatever trauma this poor boy has been through I'm amazed he hasn't induced himself into catatonia just to escape." Shaking his head, the doctor left them. Dawn was frightened, as was Buffy, as long as Spike stayed here he was in danger.

***

It was late afternoon when the vampire came out of his restful slumber. He realized for once, he hadn't had a nightmare . It had been a dreamless sleep, a contented sleep. There were other placating realizations. He inhaled deeply, the combined scents of Buffy, Dawn and Joyce were wrapped around him, comforting him. Buffy's kiss lingered on his lips, her sweet taste more nourishing that the blood they'd brought him. He picked up the unframed photograph and held it to his chest, snuggling under Joyce's quilt.

He also knew however that all was no going well for him, very little in fact. With Buffy's true forgiveness of him he could dies a blessed man. However death was not an option, nor was inaction, if he could rescue Jane he'd allow himself to believe his own redemption possible. He sat quietly on the bed admiring the photograph of his girls and would do so until all was quiet again and he could carry out his plan.

***

It was almost 5pm and Buffy was preparing to return to the Fernridge Institute. She'd changed into black clothing complete with her favorite kicking boots, which where also perfect for concealing weapons. Dawn watched with a heavy heart as her sister rummaged through her weapons chest. Spike wasn't Spike anymore. With his soul restored he was like a child, innocent and frightened, looking to be protected. He was submerged under the burden of guilt from a century of murders. Dawn thought somehow that the three unfortunate minutes in the bathroom with Buffy tore him apart more than all the other crimes combined. Dawn had worked through her anger at her once best friend, threatening all summer that the first time she saw him she was going to stake him. Now she just wanted him home and safe.

There came an unexpected and desperate knock to the front door. The sisters exchanged perplexed looks and Buffy went to answer it. She found Clem waiting on the other side looking rather worse for wear."Clem?" Buffy questioned.

"Something's happened to him!" the wrinkly demon blurt out,"I've looked everywhere! If I'm not there when he wakes up he goes into terrible fits, he hurts himself..."

"Clem, it's okay. I know where Spike is." Clem nearly passed out with relief,"Something strange is happening and Spike is helping me."

"Oh...oh...well I guess it's okay then. Helping you makes him happy, but where is he?"

"There's a mental institution an hour's drive from here, out in the middle of nowhere...there are these ash trees..."

"OH MY GOD! You left Spike at the Gaudium Chalice?!?!?!"

"The what?!"

Chapter 15 - Belly of the Beast

"Omigod...omigod...omigod...." Clem stammered.

"Clem you're scaring me! What is the Gaudium Chalice?!"

"Uh..."

"CLEMENT!!" She grabbed him by his jacket and hauled him inside the house.

"Okay! Okay! Think of it as the Hellmouth's little sister...a mini mouth."

"There's another Hellmouth?! How come I don't know about this?"

"I dunno, how do you know usually?"

"Spike told me all the local demony stuff when he found it out."

"It's kinda just an old local legend, like a haunted house. Spike didn't grow up in Sunnydale like me, so he probably never heard of it."

"So tell us this legend already," Dawn insisted,"Is Spike in danger?"

"Oh, totally....sorry. In the 1920s there was this cult, made up of humans and demons who worshipped The Gaud. They tried to resurrect it, but the Slayer at the time came to town and stopped them. The breach between this world and hell wasn't sealed completely so they built the house over it. If you go down into the basement you could probably find the opening."

"If I had any idea...." Buffy breathed,"I never would have left him there, never. Clem, what did the Gaud worshippers do besides try to raise up the demon?"

"Um, mostly blood rituals, virgin sacrifces...oh...oh no...s...soul harvesting. They took people's souls. Spike's soul!!"

"Baby, don't let them get my soul, I got it for you..."

***

He'd refused to go down to dinner and when the orderlies insisted he'd fought against them with all his might from being dragged from his room. Naturally as they were only human, the vampire's strength won out. But that didn't stop them from beating upon the patient who wouldn't fight back. After sufficiently busting up his face and cracking his ribs they'd left him on the floor of his room moaning in pain.

Shortly after he got himself up, mentally pushing aside the pain. They'd locked him in his room, but he'd easily be able to break out. He took off his clothes and changed into a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. He felt ready for battle. He folded Joyce's quilt and slung it over his arm and put the picture of Dawn and Buffy in his back pocket. He listened at the door to make certain no one was in the hall before breaking the door knob and pushing off the bolt that held him in. He moved amazingly quick, tuning in with his demon's physical attributes. He'd find the lady again and take her from this horrible place. Spike was certain, despite evidence to the contrary, that he was being watched. He dared not touch the walls for fear they'd come alive and devour him.

Jane was precisely the same as the previous night. Still innocent and silent, sitting as a queen upon a throne."G'evenin' m'lady, shall we go walk about in your garden?" He'd put on his best gentlemanly aire. He rolled out Joyce's quilt on the bed, not concerned with noticing how finely decorated the room was and that she had quilts of her own. He effortlessly lifted her out of her chair, she was as light as a ghost. He wrapped her up snugly before scooping her up in his arms,"Not to worry, pet, you'll be safe now that Spike's got you." They exited the room and he took off in a run. He thought he'd get her back to his room and leap out the window, unfortunately in his desperation to rescue the firl he chose a poor time in which to get it done.

Someone must have been watching him. Possibly as many as twelve staff members were storming up the stairs. He made to run, but he was tackled from behind by another who'd come out of a bedroom. Jane tumbled from his arms when the orderlies descended upon him and Spike felt his instincts flare and he demon come alive. The five or so men who were trying to pin him down were thrown off and the vampire in full game face raged before them. One of the men that had beat him earlier stepped up to the challenge and Spike smashed his face in with his fist. For a split second he felt triumphant and vindicated and the the chip fired in his skull. He howled in ungodly pain, arching back and into the the wall.

From then on the remembered being thrown on the ground and bodily restrained. New points of pain burned as needle after needle was jabbed into his arms and neck, injecting him full of unknown substances. Briefly he caught a flash of of Nurse Beckett standing over him.

"I think this is a matter for Dr. Thaddeus," she announced.

Chapter 16 - To the Rescue

Clem reasoned that taking Spike's old DeSoto was a better vehicle to sneak up on Fernridge - with it being black. There was that, and the fact that Clem so much as told Buffy he was driving. Suddenly there were cultists, soul eaters, another gateway to hell and one relatively helpless, insane vampire with a soul trapped at their mercy. The Buffy Guilt Train had left the proverbial station.

Over the years the Slayer had run the gamut of allies, Spike included, but she'd never have predicted Clem. The wrinkle skinned demon was unassuming and good natured, Buffy doubted that besides the kitten thing that he had a malicious bone in his body. However she was rethinking that opinion as she watched him speed them to the Fernridge Institute. He looked resolute, perhaps also angry, definitely fearful for their mutual friend.

"Clem, can I ask you something?" Buffy spoke up, breaking the tension that permeated the air.

"Sure Slayer."

"When did you and Spike meet?"

"Oh, um, almost two years ago, I guess. It was at a poker game. He'd only been chipped a few months and was still adjusting. We didn't become real friends until after....after you died that one time. He needed someone to talk to and I'm a good listener, so there yah go."

"Did he ever talk about me?"

"You're pretty much all he ever talks about. No details or anything, just about how cool you'd taken down a vamp one night, or how pretty you looked, but sometimes he wouldn't talk at all. He'd be quiet for a long time, then just say something about how you were upset and he wasn't able to help. That's when he usually needed me to give him a pep talk. He has this inferiority complex."

"Can't say I've ever thought that about him."

"Compared to you it's got logic. You're the ultimate good and he was trying to live up to your standards, pretty impossible for a vampire - but he did his best you know?"

"Yeah, I know he does, and he never stops trying, never gives up."

"That's just Spike for you."

"Yeah, all for me..." Her voice trailed off and she felt unexpected tears welling up. Everything about Spike was all for her, and the knowledge of it was shattering her heart into a million pieces."Clement? I apologize for all the times you had to see my abuse of Spike. I'm sorry you've had to deal with my messes. I'm sorry I hurt your friend."

"The best you can do is to make sure Spike knows that. He loves you very much. I just want him to be happy. If you can make him happy, there's no need for apologies." Quickly Buffy leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek, making him blush furiously.

"Thank you for taking such good care of him...but I'd like to have that job now if I can."

"Absolutely."

***

Clem turned off the headlights and cut the engine before they reached the building, gently letting the car roll into an alcove made from the surrounding bushes. He and Buffy had devised a plan, he would check around the grounds while she went inside. It was a little after the nine at this point, hopefully things would be winding down for the evening and the patients would mostly be in their rooms, the staff heading home.

She avoided the front door and crawled in through an unlocked window. She found herself in the kitchen, it was cold and industrial, even more so than a cafeteria. She doubted they had a flowering onion on the menu. She couldn't hear anyone about outside the doors, so she stealthily snuck out and down the hallway. One way she could guess led to the foyer, the other lead to a set of stairs. It was a risk to climb them, knowing that if someone came up or down she'd be caught with nowhere to run or hide. If worse came to worse she'd just knock them out.

Her footfalls on the steps echoed and she cringed, but she was resolute to find her vampire and their young charge and get them the hell away. She'd worry about the whole Gaudium Chalice another time. After climbing one flight she found a door, surmising it must lead into the women's ward. She came eventually to another door, the floor Spike was on. The stairs continued on upwards, and her curiosity was piqued, but Spike was more important right now. She came on to the second floor ward at the end of the hallway, a long oriental rug laying before her down the hall towards a convergence point. It reminded her of a those perspective drawings of railway tracks. As she moved down the length, keeping mindful of where she remembered Spike's room to be. The occasional random yelp or cry from a patient behind a closed door made her halt for a moment. The sounds were disturbing.

She finally came to Spike's room and ducked inside quickly. She flipped on the light and turned, her mouth open and ready to speak, but she fell stone cold silent by what she saw. It was as if no one had ever been here. The bed was made with crisp hospital corners and military precision. The room smelled of disinfectant and other cleaning agents and it was immaculate. She felt her heart seize in her chest. This was very wrong.

She had to think fast, if any more time was wasted Clem would get worried and maybe do something stupid. Spike had said that Jane was right below, maybe he was with Jane again. She opened the door and then stopped short, coming face to face with the ominous Nurse Beckett.

Chapter 17 - Denied

"Miss Summers. This is unexpected," Nurse Beckett said, her voice scratched with icicles. Buffy gasped, trying desperately to recover her composure from being taken by surprise.

"Ra...Randy. Where's Randy??" she sputtered, slowly grounding herself.

"I think the appropriate question at this time is why are you here? Visiting hours were closed a long time past, there is no reason for you to be in this room."

"This is Randy's room and I want to see him. Now." Buffy pulled herself up tall, hardening her demeanor and staring across at Nurse Beckett. The other woman didn't flinch.

"Randall is under observation at this time and cannot be seen by anyone who might deter him from his recovery."

"You tell me where he is or I'll bring this whole house down looking for him." Nurse Beckett gave a nod and then spun around on her heels and began marching down the hall. Bewildered and confused, Buffy followed quickly after. The Nurse ignored the Slayer and continued on walking at determined gate until she reached the main staircase and continued upwards. A few strides from the top of of the stairs Nurse Beckett stopped, knocking twice on a door and then opening it and leaving Buffy, returning to her duties.

The Slayer was certain she was ready for whatever was in the room, but she was not expecting to find what was laid out before her. The office reminded her very much of any space that Giles had occupied. Bookshelves laden with old volumes lined the walls. Artifacts, deities, obscure objects d'art and even a potted fern. Behind a black lacquer and cherrywood desk, complete with a Tiffany lamp, sat a small and studious looking older man."You're Randall's friend aren't you?" he asked, blinking his eyes in a rapid succession before moving his wireframe glasses and giving them a clean with his handkerchief."Pleased to meet you, I am Dr. Thaddeus."

"Buffy....Buffy Summers."

"I know who you are, Miss Summers, know quite a bit actually. Randall's spoke of you. Please sit down." Buffy moved inside the room, but chose not to sit down. The doctor paid it no mind."You are quite a fixation with him."

"We're kind of fixated on each other. I'd like to see him."

"He is under our care now, Miss Summers. Randall has taken a turn for the worst, there was an incident last night and we've had to move him to our intensive care." Buffy could feel the tension in her face, it took all over her control not to go ballistic.

"Where is he?"

"As I said, in our care. With all due respect, Miss, he signed himself in and as you're not a family member or his wife, we can dictate whether or not you get to visit. We feel that it is in Randall's best interest that he be alone at this time, alone to concentrate on his recovery. We care about Randy."

"No one cares more about him than I do."

"Irrelevant." Buffy turned quickly, the two orderlies who had beat up Spike appeared behind her."If you'll excuse me, I have paperwork."

"I'm not leaving this place until I see..." Dr. Thaddeus got to his feet, he looked fragile and emaciated, but none less devious.

"You have no legal standing in this matter. I suggest you do not return, especially unannounced and after hours."

"But..."

"Goodnight." One of the men was about to touch her, but she pushed it away with such force she sprained his wrist. He glared back at her. They followed her down the stairs, keeping their distance. Once she was outside and the institute had closed up its doors for the night, Buffy let out a fierce growl and landed her fist against a stone lion that sat out front of the house, splitting it. She gave herself a few moments to calm down, laying out her next course of action in her mind. Find Clem, regroup, break back in, find Spike, simple.

She heard a scream in the distance, then growls and snarls, and then the same person screamed again. Clem. Buffy dove into the thick of the forest, blindly weaving in and around trees and bushes, following the sounds of Clement's cries for help. She burst on to the scene of Clem with his back to a tree, holding out a club of wood, fending off three large hounds. They were massive, larger than mastiffs, with haunched shoulders and ragged black fur, eyes glowing like rubies and mouths lined in two rows of fangs. Buffy pulled out the six inch blade she had hidden in her boot and advanced cautiously.

She grabbed one by the scruff of the neck, pulled it back and slit its throat in one fluid motion, immediately drawing the attention of the other two."CLEM! RUN!" Buffy ordered. Scampering off like his feet were on fire, Clem made for the direction of the DeSoto. Buffy meanwhile was already slipping into her full on Slayer mode and reading herself for a fight. As the two beasts leapt for her, she dove and rolled under them to where Clem had been, picking up the branch he'd let fall. She knocked both across their skulls, stunning them enough to make a break for it herself.

The hell hounds were biting at her heels when she dove into the open passenger's side door of the moving vehicle, Clem back behind the wheel. He sped them down the driveway and away from Fernridge. Unfortunately, also away from Spike and Jane."Cer...Cerberus demons...hell dogs," Clem heaved,"There's probably more, they travel in large packs." Buffy put her head between her knees, trying to compose herself and come down from the adrenaline rush."We have to go back for Spike."

"I know."

"What are we going to do?!"

"I don't know."

"You're the Slayer, this is your job, come up with something!"

"I don't know! I can't think..."

"If you don't he's gonna die in there!"

"Clem, don't say that, he's not going to die. He's not..."

"We need help."

"Then I'll get us help."

"What kind of help?"

"My kind of help."

Chapter 18 - Enemy Revealed

Buffy found it interesting that the music from a single violin could encompass her entire existence. Just like Atlas could hold the world on his shoulders, the music held on to her soul, lifted her up. The atrium in which she sat in audience to Jane's solo concert was filled with glorious sunlight, everything was warm and bright. The air had a sweet freshness to it, fragrant like the flowers that surrounded them. There was an empty chair next to the one Buffy was seated in. It was the height of the day, but she was pleased to be wearing an evening gown of midnight blue, accented by randomly sewn on tear drop crystals.

"Effulgent, that is the word I would use to describe your beauty," he spoke. Buffy looked away from Jane and up at Spike standing at her side,"Your radiance astounds me, my love."

"You're being silly, and again with the defying of the vampness. It's sunny, Spike."

"I'm in love with you, I'll take the risk. I'm a good man, you know?"

"I'm learning." He took his seat next to her, dressed to match her in a dark suit.

"It all seems less complicated here doesn't it? Like all the bloody evils we face in the world have just shut themselves up so we can have this moment together. The music is what does it."

"I makes me forget that I'm the Slayer, that you're a vampire..." She reached over and took his hand in hers,"It's just you and me, together." The music played on, but Jane had put down her instrument and began to walk away, back into the main part of the house. Spike stood too, pulling Buffy up with him.

"Come, pet, it's time. Time to see what we've come here to see."

"What is it?"

"Just follow..." Wrapping her arm around Spike's, she was led from the atrium, through the conservatory and back into the house. Eventually they came to the foyer. Jane was nine years old again, perfectly innocent, unknowing of the dark descent she was soon to set to journey upon. The three of them waited at the bottom of the grand staircase.

"Spike?"

"Shhh, just wait, any second now..." He stepped inched closer to Buffy and away from Jane. The moment shifted and Buffy felt the pressure of the atmosphere around her compress. She clung to the vampire, sensing that he was equally as nervous."We have to see this, she needs us to see this. This is why she's been calling..."

There was a woman at the top of the stairs, a perfect copy of what Jane would no doubt be when she grew to adulthood."Jane, sweety," she called down to the child,"It's time for bed."

"Mommy?" Jane replied, her voice trembling with fear,"Mommy, who..." There were screams, loud, shrilling screams that could only come from women. The kind of screams that would make any man want to die. Buffy's scream was the first to die away, and then she was gone from the dream place. Spike remained, serving as second witness to Pauline Westerberg's murder. He observed, stoic, as the mother was pushed from behind. He didn't move as the woman flailed and reaching in vain to grab for the bannister or the carpet in an effort to stop her momentum. She rolled once, and then again, the second time her neck snapped like a tree branch in a wind storm and sounded just as sharp and loud. Pauline's screams were the second to cease. Her dead body staggered the rest of the way down.

Jane's scream was raw and primal, her eyes torturously focused upon the demon standing where her mother had been seconds before. The child's scream was the last sound her voice would ever make.

***

"Wakey, wakey, vampire," a voice summoned him. It oozed into Spike's ears like thin milk. It wasn't that the vampire had opened his as as he woke from his dream, his wide staring eyes had simply focused themselves. The obscenely bright fluorescent lights overhead stung his retinas, he was fixed on them. In the peripheral of his vision he could sense people moving about. The voice that had roused Spike from the nightmare began speaking again as he moved into view."I could smell the soul on you the moment you walked into the house." It was the same large liquid eyes and same lizard smile from in the dream - the same from on top of Glory's tower.

It was Doc.

***

Buffy was wakened by the sound of her own scream. She was still in the same spot in the living room where she'd fallen asleep after calling Giles. Her stomach felt like it was coiled in knots and she thought she might be sick. Jane's mother had been murdered by someone, though Buffy couldn't remember the face in the dream. However, there was also a more urgent panic overwhelming her,"Spike...." He was hers, the vampire, it didn't matter what her head told her about their past, he was hers. She knew he was scared, she knew he needed her, now.

Chapter 19 - The Innocent

"I must say, Mister vampire, you are unique among your kind. I've never forgotten your misguided and exceptionally pathetic heroics on top of that tower. Earning a soul, that's an original. I'm sure you must have a few well chosen phrases you'd like to impart to me?" Doc waited, just long enough for Spike to realize that he could neither move nor speak, that he was utterly paralyzed. He was unbound, laying on a bed in a white room. His clothes were gone and he'd been put into the bottoms of hospital pajamas. He was cold, hungry and scared.

"Is he awake Doctor Thaddeus?" Nurse Beckett asked.

"He's awake."

"How can you tell?"

"I know, it's a sense. I want him awake."

"I've never seen a real vampire before, is he dangerous?" Doc walked over to an IV bag that was suspended next to the immobilized vampire, the tube of which ended at the needle embedded in Spike's vein. He adjusted the drip, increasing the flow.

"No, as long as the medication runs constant he'll never move again, but he can hear us, see us."

"I wish we had some holy water, I've been meaning to practice my tole painting techniques and he is a lovely white canvas."

"Unfortunately we haven't much time left and many preparations to make. You two can play peek-a-boo with the sunshine and the curtain until I'm ready. The window over there has an eastern exposure, but whatever you do, be careful, I don't want him made into dust. I have plans for this one."

"Goody, goody..."

***

There would be time for welcome homes and catching up another day. Willow and Giles arrived at the Sunnydale airport late that afternoon. Buffy tried to behave very down to business, but ended up embracing the two prodigal Scoobies for almost ten minutes in he terminal. Mercifully Xander had come with her, barely understanding the full scope of the situation, but he had offered to drive. This left Buffy able to unburden herself of the week's past events with Jane and Spike.

During last night's hurried conversation on the phone with Giles, Buffy had asked him to gather some information for her based on what Spike had told her of his past during his insane ramblings - Cecily Addams, London 1880, Number 117 Gloucester Place. The car ride had so far been silent in the back seat, Willow and Xander immersed in their own conversation up front. Giles was deep in thought, the revelation about Spike earning his soul and his consequent mental imbalance must have sent the man's mind spinning into all sorts of Watcher minded panics. He was still waiting on the Council to upload the information they had on the Gaudium Chalice to a secure site. The man who at one time abhorred the very concept of digitization now acted as if his laptop were attached to his hip.

However, the information he'd gathered on William was presented to Buffy in a folder. William James Suffolk was born to Arthur and Margaret in London on July 9th, 1858 and went mysteriously missing in the summer of 1880. Amongst the papers were photocopies of pages writing in an immaculate feminine hand, they'd been labeled as entries from Miss Addams' diary.

I should feel sorry for him, but does one feel pity for the insect who unwittingly is crushed under our feet? Certainly not. William Suffolk is kindly enough, well mannered and may have a pleasant face, but what he owns in in grace he is sorely lacking in stature. His family's position is below my own, several grades below. Therefore the attentions he insists on showering upon me are a nuisance rather than flattery.

This evening's party at Lord Meltchett's London residence was especially painful. William may as well have spouted his awful poetry about me before the entire gathering like a town crier! It was severe enough a trial to sit politely and endure his declarations of love in the seclusion of the setae at the edge of the parlor.

How could sad little William possibly fathom that I would ever reciprocate his affections? I'm in doubt that he would even know what to do with a woman. Lords Percy and Meltchett often comment in private that....

"Bitch," Buffy grumbled.

"Pardon?" asked Giles.

"Did you read these?" He looked down at the papers and smiled just a little.

"Yes, surprising isn't it? Never in my wildest imagination did I picture this version of William."

"He's tried to tell me you know? That he was good. I'm beginning to understand him now, the soul and the demon and how they're fighting each other and trying to coexist. It's no wonder he can't cope, but he's trying."

"I'll admit that I'm eager to sit down and talk with him. He's the first vampire to ever reclaim his soul, it's so remarkable I can barely comprehend the scope of what this means...philosophically, theologically..."

"Right now, Giles, he's being held prisoner and he's helpless. There's also a girl who's been reaching out to us both in our dreams to solve her mother's murder and get her out too. We can explore the significance of another ensouled vampire when he's home safe."

"Home safe?" Buffy frowned, there wasn't an answer she could give that would explain just what she was feeling, she wasn't sure herself.

"Whatever...I just want him out of there. William, he's so..."

"William is innocent. By all that I was able to find out his past, I'd say he's as untried in the world as they come. He was studious, pious, took care of his mother. He was a romantic, idealistic young boy, undoubtedly a virgin also. William's an innocent and as the Slayer you know it is your responsibility to save him." Their conversation was interrupted by Xander letting out a loud guffaw. All of them, including Willow looked at him in confusion."Something you'd like to share Xander?"

"Oh come on, Spike - an innocent virgin? Was that before or after he slaughtered half of Europe?" Giles instinctively placed a hand on Buffy's forearm, grounding her.

"I suggest, Xander that you continue driving and don't say another word."

"Giles, come on..." Willow gave Xander a pointed look and he shut up, rolling his eyes, but taking Giles' advice.

"Thank you," Buffy mouthed, wiping a tear from her eye before bending down to continue reading. As an innocent, like Jane, Buffy was obligated to rescue William, but both she and apparantly Giles knew, that she also had a responsibility to the demon who loved her as much as the man seemed to. Spike deserved her best and she was resolute that he would get nothing less.

Chapter 20 - Torment

The Sunnydale airport was in the opposite direction of where Fernridge was situated, therefore it would be dark before they could reach the secluded institution. This upset Buffy immensely, she was on edge because of not knowing Spike's present fate, but moreso because of the emotions those thoughts stirred inside her. When she thought about Spike, in her mind putting aside the present danger, she simply wanted to bring him into her home and take care of him. This circle of thought was unshakable, but it left her with a peace knowing that in her heart, she really truly had forgiven him his trespasses. But none of her good intentions would mean a thing if he found his end at Fernridge. That was something she could not endure.

After they arrived at the Summers home the Scoobies convened their first true meeting since before they faced Glory in the final showdown. Anya joined them too, her knowledge of demons valuable as ever, as well as Clem, who was as passionate as Buffy about seeing to Spike's welfare. Giles busied himself with hooking up his computer and checking the Watcher archive, whilst Willow and Dawn shared an awkward reacquaintance. Buffy meanwhile looked absently through her weapons chest in hopes something would come to mind about how to rescue the innocents from the institution. Clem informed them of what he knew about Cerberus demon dogs, and Anya confirmed. The beasts were summoned up from the lower parts of hell to serve as sentinels, tireless guardians around a designated perimeter. Like with most demons, the night was their time of power and they hid themselves during the day. This made sneaking back on to the property decidedly difficult to accomplish at night. They often roamed in numbers close on two dozen. In frustration, Buffy slammed the lid to the chest closed, starling everyone.

"Sorry," she apologized,"This is hard."

"We understand," Giles replied from his seat on the couch, still typing away one the keyboard,"This is a stressful time, but we'll weather it. We always do."

"I feel helpless, it's hard to admit that, even to all of you." Feeling guilty Xander cleared his throat and looked at his friend.

"Spike's tough, he's a survivor," the young man offered. Buffy nodded, but then felt herself caving.

"But if it was the old Spike I could see that, but he's not. The soul makes him vulnerable, makes it so he can't rely on what makes him tough. I...." Her voice cracked and she looked upon each of them,"Spike is important to me, very important...I...I can't lose him, do you all understand what I'm saying?"

"We understand," said Dawn,"And there's Jane too, we have work to do, right?"

"Right. Right. Okay, Giles, find out what you can about the Gaudium Chalice and its cult. Willow, work on magical defenses and protection spells against attack and the Cerberus. Anya, find out the best ways to kill the dogs. Xander, you and I are on weapons and strategy. Dawn, I want you to get on your computer and find out how the Westerbergs are all connected to this. Clem, you're on snack duty. Tomorrow we get Spike and Jane out of there."

***

"Salicadoola magicaboola bibbity bobbity boo..." Doc sing-songed quietly as he went about his work, setting up instruments and equipment in and around the immobilized vampire. Spike's vision was blurry and full of colors from over exposure to the overhead lights, not to mention the fact that they also hurt from being dry due to his inability to blink. A second figure was detected and aided Doc in whatever they were preparing to do.

"Doctor?"

"Yes Nurse Beckett?"

"I'm not questioning your judgment by any means, but I must ask why you feel this course of action is necessary."

"Because, my dear, I owe this to him. After all, he has tried to kill me on past occasions, it seems only right that I reciprocate, though I'm in doubt this will actually kill him. You're not squeamish at the sight of blood are you?"

"No, not at all, I did an Emergency Room apprenticeship after university."

"Good, because there's alot of blood anywhere near the brain."

"Isn't this dangerous?"

"Very, especially the way I'm going to do it."

"No, I meant that without that microchip he'll be able to attack humans, there are alot of humans here."

"I'm not concerned, as I said before, as long as the medication is in action, he'll never move again. I'm ready."

"Doctor, shouldn't we scrub in? Shouldn't we put him under anesthetic? There's procedure to follow when performing brain surgery. We should at least shave his head."

"Nonsense, it's a vampire, a vampire I happen to be holding a grudge against. If it were not for this vampire, the exalted Glorificus would have succeeded in opening the dimensions. I want him fully aware of what's happening to him. I want him to feel everything."

"You're merciless."

"Calculated. Besides, this really isn't proper surgery, this is just a bit of fun. Pass me the drill." There was a whirling squeal of metal as the surgical drill came to life. Doc gave Spike a smack on his cheek before he began.

CONTINUED...