Chapter 2: Finding The Spark

After leaving Sunndale, they drove straight to L.A. Giles drove and Faith looked after Dawn. Buffy sat in silence, never uttering a word the whole trip.

They walked through the doors at the Hyperion just before the sun was due to rise.

"Rupert. I know what you've been through. all of you. I'll show you where you can rest. We'll talk later." Wesley said as he ushered them to the staircase. "Where's Willow? I was under the beleif that Spike was part of your team. Where's he?"

"Oh god." came a strangled sob from Buffy as her knees buckled and she slid to the floor. "no..no..no.." She repeated to herself as her tears fell.

Dawn fell to the floor and wrapped her arms around Buffy.

Wesley looked on the scene a little confused.

Faith moved to Buffys side and pulled her up to he feet and supported most of her weight.

"Look Giles, I think you better fill Wes here in on everything. I'll find us a place to sleep." Faith said as she and Dawn took Buffy upstairs.

"I've got some tea on." Wesley said moving to the counter.

Giles nodded as he removed his glasses and rubbed his face. "It's getting harder every time. I don't know how much longer I can do this." Giles said to himself.

Wesley came over and put a cup of tea in front of Giles.

"What happened?" Wesley asked when they both sat down on the sofa.

Giles sat there and told him about the battle. The ubervamps. Willow. During the battle the spell the Willow had cast to strengthen all the SIT's , had turned her into a Godess, and that she was no longer with them. Spike. He explained about the amulet and what it did to Spike. How Buffy watched as Spike disappeared right in front of her.

Wesley let out a breath he was holding.

"I wish I'd have been there to help." Wesley said.

"I'm afaid the outcome would have been the same, except a chance you might have died too." Rupert said grimly.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Giles Spoke.

"We saved the world .....again. But our world over the past few years has fallen apart. Xander lost an aye. He's now staying with a relative just outside of L.A.

Willow is no longer with us. Buffy is so...............lost. Broken. I don't no what to do for her." Giles said quietly. "I'm feeling old Wesley."

"All you can do is be there for her Rupert." Wesley said as he placed a hand on Giles shoulder. "Your welcome to stay as long as you need to."

Giles nodded his head and stood. "Goodnight Wesley."

"Goodnight Rupert." Wesley said.

Angel walked into the Hyperion the next night.

"Any change in Cordy's condition?" Wesley and Fred asked as Angel came to the counter.

"No. She's still in a coma." Angel replied.

"They got in just before dawn yesterday."Wesley said.

Angel nodded, picking up their scents. "How were they?"

"Some better than others." Wesley said as he looked at Angel. "Spike didn't make it."

"I know." Angel said quietly looking down. "Where are they?"

"Faith made Dawn call her father since Sunnydale, or the spot where Sunnydale used to be is all over the news. He insisted on seeing her. Buffy isn't.........together enough right now, so Faith and Giles took her." Wesley said.

"I'm going to check on Buffy." Angel said as he turned and headed upstairs.

Faith and Dawn came through the doors, soon followed by Giles.

"I'm not staying there." Dawn said loudly. "Buffy needs me, I'm staying with her."

"I think perhaps this is the best thing you can do for Buffy right now." Giles stated.

"NO. I won't do it." Dawn said raising her voice even louder.

"What's going on?" Angel asked as he came downstairs, bringing Buffy slowly behind him.

"Buffy." Dawn said running to her side and enveloping her.

Buffy's arms went around her on reflex, but there was little emotion there.

"Dad was watching the news. He wants me to come back and live with him. I told him no, that I'm staying with you. So you don't have to ..............." Dawn said.

"He's right." Buffy said cutting Dawn off. "You should live with him."

"What? Buffy no. I need to be with you." Dawn said as her tears started.

Buffy brought up her hands up and placed them on either side of Dawns Face.

"Dawnie. You know I love you. I want you to grow up, and you might not be able to do that if you stay with me. You'll be safe there. That's where you need to be." Buffy said.

"No........Buffy." Dawn started.

"Listen to me. I'm not losing anymore people that I love. Whether you like it or not, your going to stay with dad. "Buffy said. "Honestly, I don't have it in me to look after anyone right now." Buffy added quietly to Dawn.

Dawn watched Buffy's eyes and knew she spoke the truth.

Dawn finally nodded and agreed.

"Giles you said New York has a Hellmouth." Buffy said never tearing her eyes from Dawn.

"Um yes it does." Giles said as he closed his eyes and lowered his head.

"Faith, how does New York sound to you? You up for it?" Buffy asked no emotion in her voice.

"You know it B." Faith said as she moved to her side.

"Giles, take Dawn back to dads. We'll leave when you get back." Buffy said.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should stay here and rest awhile." Giles said.

"Yeah. Look Buffy, you know I'm down with kickin deamon ass, but we just had a tough battle. We should rest a little anyway." Faith said.

"We leave tonight. It will take some time to settle in. We won't start right away. But I can't stay here." Buffy said quietly.

"Very well." Giles said defeatedly.

Faith and Buffy were in the car while Giles said his goodbye's.

"She's cutting ties Giles. Sending Dawn away. Keep a close eye on her." Angel said as he walked Giles to the door.

"I know. I will watch her closely. " Giles said as he left and headed to the car.

Angel watched the car drive away til it was out of sight.

CHAPTER 3: Rising From The Ashes

Giles sat at the dining room table watching Buffy. Buffy was sitting in the window seat staring out the window as if in a trance. They had been in New York a year now and Buffy had made only a little progress.

She usually kept to herself in her room or by the window. She talked, but not much. She had lost more weight, she had already been too thin and now even thinner.

For the first four months she never left the apartment. Now she'll go out once in awhile on patrol with Faith. But the duties of slaying is now Faiths job.

Giles had used the his savings to buy a three bedroom condo in a refurbished factory. It had an open concept Living/dining room plus kitchen and bath on the main floor. Upstairs it had a master bedroom with ensuite bath and two bedrooms with a bathroom adjoining the two rooms.

Giles sat there watching her too thin frame as she got up and headed upstairs. He took in the dark circles under her eyes and her long dark unkempt hair. She quit dying her hair. She doesn't seem to care much about her appearance like she used too. She hasn't even cried since that night at the Hyperion. Giles dropped his head and ran a hand through his hair.

She's fading. I'm losing her and I don't know how to stop it. Giles thought as he went to the kitchen to pour a cup of tea.

Just as he sat back at the table Faith came in and dropped onto the chair beside him.

"How was patrol?" Giles asked looking at her.

"Same old song and dance. Staked four vamps and killed a foul smelling deamon." Faith said scrunching her nose.

"Can you descibe him?" Giles asked.

"Sure. He was big, but not too big. He was green,,,, maybe blue. He had these big eyes, you know like a fish and oh my god the amount of drool this thing was dripping......can I just say...eeeeeeeeew." Faith said as she took an apple from the fruit bowl on the table.

Giles rubbed his temples. "So I'm looking for a big deamon, but not too big. He's green or possibly blue, with fishlike eyes, foul smelling and excretes large amounts of drool. Is that right?"

"You got it G. Well I'm off. Night." Faith said as she lept up and bounded up the stairs.

"Goodnight. And thank you for the very ..........useful description." Giles said as shook his head.

"No prob." Faith said over her shoulder as she disappeared.

Angel was sitting in his office reading a book when he heard someone enter the hotel. He looked up to see a familliar face standing in his doorway.

"No one was out front, so I just came on back." He said as he came in and took a seat across from Angel.

"What do you want Whistler?" Angel said hotly starting to rise from his chair.

"Woah. Calm down. I have a job the same as you. That's why I'm here." Whistler replied.

"What?" Angel demanded.

"You're not supposed to be here. You have to go where he is, or will be." Whistler said.

"Go where? And who is "he"?" Angel asked pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Sunnydale." Whistler replied quietly.

"There is no Sunnydale anymore." Angel retorted.

"You have to go there and get him. He's gonna need you." Whistler said in a knowing tone.

"Again. Who is "he"?" Angel asked angrily.

Chapter 4: Born Of Ashes

Angel scowled at Whistler then lept over the desk, grabbed him and pinned him to the wall.

"Spike is dead." Angel growled.

"Not dead. Just not here. Not yet." Whistler said undaunted by Angels actions.

"What do you mean not dead? Buffy and Faith saw him die." Angel said a little weary as he let go of Whistler.

"Yes, they saw him die. That's what they were meant to see. He didn't die. He's.........in what you might call an animated state. The amulet protected him long enough for the Powers to step in. If they hadn't, he would be dead."Whistler answered.

"So why did they step in? What do they want with Spike?" Angel asked.

"You see, your boy Spike was well on his way to redeeming himself. When he agreed to use the amulet to save the world, the Powers considered him redeemed." Whistler said.

"So if I had, like I offered, then I would've been too." Angel said his thoughts aloud.

"You. No. You were never meant to do it. It was his duty from the beginning. It was to be worn to the soul of her champion. That was Spike." Whistler replied.

"Why bring him back?" Angel asked.

"He has been granted a second chance. He will be granted his deepest desire, but only after he completes his mission." Whistler said.

"What's his mission?" Angel asked.

"That I don't know. Only the PTB know." Whistler replied letting out a ragged breath.

"Why not send Buffy?" Angel was a little curious.

"Spike needs to be here. Not in New York." Whistler took a sharp breath and looked at Angel before he finished. "Spike is to have no contact with Buffy."

"I wouldn't be able to keep them apart. You know how much they love each other. Buffy hasn't gotten over him. She has a right to know." Angel said raising his voice.

"If he thinks she's dead, then it won't be a problem. Look I know what you're thinking. But they both have a path they have to follow right now, and it's not time for the paths to cross. When their paths are done, they will find one another. The PTB will see to that. Until then. In order for him to do his job, he has to think she's no longer here. You don't have to tell him she's dead, but you can't interfere in this. This is his time. It has to be done his way. If he knew Buffy was alive, he'd move heaven and hell to be at her side, and not be here where he is needed. You know this." Whistler said.

Angel scowled, but nodded in agreement.

"You better get a move on. He'll be arriving soon. I'll be back to talk to him. See ya soon Angel." Whistler said as he slowly turned to leave.

"What's Buffys path?" Angel asked quietly.

"She's following it now. She has to learn to live. When she's ready, he'll find her." Whistler walked out the door.

Angel drove to the spot where the school stood. He got out of his car and walked to the center of where the building once was.

Everything Whistler said was spinning in his mind. Most of all, having to lie to Spike and Buffy. Not letting them know of the others existence.

His eyes shifted when a beam of light emenated from the ground. The light got bigger and brighter. He saw a form in the center laying on the ground.

The light slowly dimmed as a heartwrenching scream peirced the air.

"BUFFYYYYY." Spike screamed as tears rolled down his face.

Angel was at his side immediately.

"Spike." Angel said gabbing his shoulders and forcing Spike to look at him.

"Angel?" He looked around at his surroundings. "Buffy. I told her to leave. But when I looked over I saw her.........the building was coming down..........then I..........it went dark...... Where's Buffy?" Spike asked looking wildly around, searching for her as fear slammed into him.

Angel took a deep breath. *Forgive me William*." Buffy.......after they dragged her out, she managed to break away and ran back in to the school to find you. She wasn't going to leave with out you. She loved you Spike."

Angel said.

"Oh god no." Spike said as he brought his hands up to cradle his head as his tears fell freely.

Angel looked down, not being able to meet his eyes. Every thought in his head was wishing he still enjoyed torturing, so he could go find Whistler.

"Why am I here? Where am I?" Spike asked as the tears fell freely and he hugged himself.

"Come on. I'll explain when I get you home." Angel said as he helped Spike up and to the car.

The drive was silent. Angel stole glimpses of Spike. Spike just stared out the window and silently wept and wiped away tears.

Angel was so angry that he had to lie, well he didn't lie, he just never finished telling Spike what happened. Sure he was upset when he found out from Buffy that Spike had a soul and he loved her. But what suprised him the most was Buffy loving him back. When he looked into her eyes he knew she loved Spike deeper than she ever loved him. That's what hurt.

But he also new how devoted Spike was to Drusilla, without a soul. He can see when he looks at Spike the amount of love he has for Buffy. His love was infinite and unwavering.

Angel was hoping his mission would be over quickly, whatever it was. So he could take him to Buffy.

Chapter 8: Searching

Buffy sat on the window ledge in her room. She closed her eyes as a tear fell from her eyes as the song played on her radio.

Buffy's thoughts drifted back to that night she spent in Spikes arms. The night she wandered around, lost. The night no one wanted her. No one except Spike.

"Can you stay?" Buffy asked from the bed.

Spike nodded and looked to the chair and removed his duster.

"No. Here." Buffy said as she inched over on the bed.

Spike looked at her and slowly made his way to the bed and sat down beside her. Spike wrapped his arms around her. She felt so tiny when his arms went around her. She felt safe and comfortable.

They laid together quietly for a long time.

"We could leave. I could take you anywhere you want to go." Spike said quietly. "How does Italy sound luv?"

"Can we leave in the morning?" Buffy asked quietly.

"We could leave tonight if you want." Spike said as he placed a kiss on top of her head.

"Tired. In the morning we can go to Italy." Buffy said as she snuggled in closer.

"Anything you want luv." Spike said knowing she wouldn't leave. He knew Buffy would stay and fight, until it killed her. He held her tighter.

Buffy slept peacefully for the first time in a very long time. She awoke to see Spike still wrapped around her. He never left her side. She knew he never would. Her heart beat faster at the feel of him. She smiled and gently touched his cheek. His love for her had given her the strength to do what she knew she had to do.

Buffy slowly pulled away from the bed and scribbled down a note for Spike. She laid the paper on the pillow beside him. She looked one last time, then turned and left the house.

Buffy wiped away the tears as Faith came into the room.

"Hey B. You almost ready?" Faith asked looking at her worriedly.

Buffy plastered on a smile. "Yeah. I'll be down in a few." Buffy replied as she got up and headed to the closet.

"You okay?" Faith asked quietly moving to Buffys side.

"Some days are just.........hard. Today it was a song. Sometimes it's a smell, or someones voice or even a word that brings back memories. I'm dealing though." Buffy said as she pulled on her boots slowly.

"Look B, I know we were never close, but if you need to talk. I'm here. Don't be afraid to ask." Faith said quietly.

Buffy looked at Faith and smiled. "Thanks."

"Meet you downstairs in a few. I know you're out of practice, so don't forget what the pointy things are for." Faith said over her shoulder as she left the room.

Buffy shook her head and smiled.

No matter what Faith thought, Buffy was very dependent on her right now. She was closer to Faith more than anyone else. Faith just seemed to understand her and what she needed. And she seemed to understand Faith. They both had changed so much. It had been close to two years since Sunnydale.

In the last couple of months she had been patrolling with Faith. Well really keeping Faith company while she slayed. But she started working out and sparring with Faith, getting back into shape. Tonight would be the first night she would be actively slaying anything since Sunnydale.

She wasn't thrilled about it, but she wasn't unhappy about it. This is who she is. Something Spike told her along time ago. Now she finally understood what he meant.