One Good Lay | When Things Change by Celtic

When Things Change

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Summary: This comes directly from the events of the season 6 finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have changed it in the smallest amount to make it fitting for my story. All the important events that happened in finale are still the same, but the time line is just a little different.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. They all belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Inc., and the other creators and performers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have written this for pure entertainment value and nothing else. I do not claim this is how it will be on the show or I have any affiliation with BtVS. I do not own the songs used in this series. They belong to Linkin Park, "In the End," and Stabbing Westward, "Shame." The poem, however changed to fit my story by gender, was written by W.H. Aulden.
Thanks: Thanks to Heather for reading and making sure I didn't sound like and idiot. :o)
Feedback: savageluck@aol.com

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"Ask me again why I could never love you." Buffy ~ Seeing Red

PART 1: In The End

It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind. I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know

Buffy reached her hand up out of the grave, looking back for her sister. Pulling herself up into the light took Buffy's breath away, knowing that all this almost came to an end. After a year of pain and hurt, wanting to not be here in this world any longer, she realized in that fleeting moment that this is where she needed to be. Turning around to pull Dawn up out of the grave to stand next to her, and watch with a new fondness, a new sense of wonder as the world before her unfolded into a new day of life. Buffy took Dawn's hand in hers as they walked through the cemetery, the sunlight beating down on them in the cool California breeze. Buffy looked at everything like it was her first time she really truly saw it all. The green of the grass, the scents that invaded her senses as they walked the path out of the cemetery. Dawn froze next to her sister, and Buffy stopped to look at her. She was so grown up, and for the first time Buffy actually saw it, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Dawn, what is it?" Buffy asked.

Dawn's voice was paralyzed with confusion as she stared out into the middle of the cemetery, into the middle of the sunlight. Releasing her hand from her sisters, she rubbed her eyes, trying to take in all she was seeing.

"Spike." Dawn whispered.

Spike stood there staring at the two girls in the sunlight. Taking in a glorious vision he hasn't truly seen in over a hundred years. The two women before him glistened in the sunlight, marvelous, en-comparison in beauty as the sun radiated on their bodies. His senses so high tuned into the smell of his fair Buffy, the day accentuating her scent. Buffy moved away from Dawn to see Spike, unbelieving he was there. Confusion and shock splayed across her face when she saw the faint whisper of a pale shadow roll behind the trees and out of sight.

Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal

Buffy shook her head in disbelief. It couldn't have been Spike, not standing here during the day, not directly in the sun. It couldn't even be Spike here. She refused to believe after everything that has happened he would show up now, right at the end.

"It couldn't have been Spike, Dawn." Buffy said.

"I know it couldn't have been Spike, but it was him. He was standing in the sun right over there!" Dawn shouted, and pointed to where Spike stood.

"No, Dawn, it couldn't have been. He is a vampire. They go dusty when the sun hits them." Buffy shook her head.

"I know ALL about vampires Buffy, but I am telling you Spike was there!" Dawn demanded.

Dawn started her way towards where Spike stood when Buffy grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.

"Where do you think you are going?" Buffy questioned.

"I am going to go find him." Dawn breathed.

"No! No you are not!" Buffy shouted. "Anyways, remember what Clem said? He is gone."

Dawn ripped her arm out of Buffy's grasp and stared at her. She took in a deep breath, and glanced back one more time over her shoulder to make sure he was really gone. A small tear ran down her face, and confusion struck through her mind. She stood there practically crying for Spike after knowing what he did. Everything he did. This was all too much, but deep down Dawn missed him. She knew him better then anybody else did, even Buffy, and he always treated her like a friend, a grown up. She turned back towards Buffy and grabbed her hand and began walking down the path again with her sister. Maybe I just miss him too much. Dawn thought to herself. She turned to look at Buffy as they exited the cemetery and caught Buffy staring back to the trees, where he disappeared.

Dawn and Buffy got to the Magic Box and Giles and Anya found their way to the back room. Really it was the only spot in the entire store that wasn't ruined by the fighting. Giles was slouched over sitting next to Anya who was slightly holding him up. Buffy ran over to him, falling on her knees in front of him, wrapping her arms around him tight, not wanting to let him go. Anya smiled and leaned into Buffy and Giles not wanting to be left out. She looked up and saw Dawn standing in the corner and waved her over. Giles sat in the middle of a big group hug; tears started falling from his eyes.

"God Giles, you're ok! Are you ok?" Buffy mumbled underneath the mass of people.

"I'm...I'm still a little sore, and you're still a little strong Buffy." Giles coughed.

Buffy moved quickly away from him almost knocking Dawn to the ground in her fast harsh movements. Anya moved away disappointed the hug was over, but stood up so Buffy could sit down next to Giles. She moved over to Dawn and wrapped one arm around the young girls shoulder, holding her tight, and Dawn just leaned her head down on her shoulder. Buffy sat next to Giles and started whipping away at the blood that stained his face. Staring at him like this, and knowing she almost lost him once again, she wanted to break down in his arms and cry, but not now. She couldn't cry now.

"Wh..what happened?" Buffy stuttered.

"Xander!" Anya yelped.

Buffy turned; a look of confusion marred her face. "Xander? What happened to Xander?"

"Xander saved the world." Anya cried.

"That's right. Yes, ummā€¦it was Xander." Giles agreed. "Xander found Willow just in time, and it was he that saved us all. It was he that loved her enough to save the world."

Buffy and Dawn looked crushed. Neither of them were able to stop Willow. They only seemed to infuriate her anger and hate towards everybody. They didn't know that Willow took something from Giles, a little piece of humanity that was long forgotten in all the hate she was feeling. Giles just tried to sit back, his pain was slowly receding. They may never know, though.

Buffy hugged Giles one last time and rose to her feet. She walked past Anya and Dawn and stood at the door for a brief moment and turned back to the small group.

"Maybe I should, uhā€¦" Buffy trailed off with her words as she walked through the door.

Buffy slowly moved through the Magic Box, with every step a torn memory flashed across her mind of the fight she had with Willow. Willow's voice etched in her mind as Willow made Buffy face the truth of the past year. It was lightening pain as Willow's words ripped through her body. The punches and kicks that were always thrown amongst friends. The threats, and magic's used to try to kill one another. Every step that she took was another flash of painful memory as she walked to the door. She opened the door glancing back through the store, turning into the light it burned at her eyes. Blinking to adjust her sight in the sun, Buffy saw him. He stood there like a Romanesque statue in the sunlight, gorgeous and haunting and then gone. Before she realized it wasn't the sun playing tricks on her Spike was gone. He once again disappeared into the shadows making the alleys of the buildings his sanctuary. Buffy shook her head at the thought of him being here, it was impossible, and in the daylight even more of an absurdity to think.

She walked through town watching everything, and seeing it all differently then she did yesterday. She felt more alive crawling out of the grave with Dawn then she did when she crawled out of her own almost a year ago. Everything before her was so different and new. Before she knew it, she had made her way across town to Devil's Mountain, and saw Xander and Willow on the ground in each other's arms. Willow was crying, and Xander was holding onto her so tightly, afraid to let her go. Buffy wished she could be over there, with her friends, consoling together in all their pain, but it wasn't her place. Not anymore. She turned and left them alone, tears threatening to unfold from her eyes.

Buffy walked alone for hours contemplating the past events. Everything that has led to this precise moment in time went through Buffy's mind. Before she knew it she stood before Spike's door of his crypt. Her thoughts have taken her to places she really didn't want to go, ever. And now she stood in spot that she didn't really want to be. At least she thought. She sucked in a harsh breath and opened the door to the crypt. It was dark, things were thrown all over the place, some stuff was destroyed, and remnants of food lay around the cold stone floor and sarcophagus. She made her way down to the basement, where her Spike had recently spent plenty of intimate time. The same place that she was chained and threatened, the same place she found Spike's obsession for her, and turned him down. If there were any place in the world Spike would be during the day, if he were in Sunnydale at any rate, it would be down here in the basement of his dark dank crypt. He wasn't there though, not even Clem occupied this crypt. Buffy sighed then shook her head as she walked back to the ladder to leave. She looked over the basement again, remembering what it use to look like, with the colors, and carpets, making it almost look human before it was blown up. She shook off her thoughts and climbed to the top of the crypt, surprised all of a sudden by Clem sitting in the chair.

"Clem." Buffy said.

He jumped surprised that anybody was there. He was a demon but he didn't have that kind of sense like vampires had. To have the Slayer sneak up behind him from the basement of where he was currently living sent shivers up his spine. He stood in front of her staring across the room at her, playing with his ears in an uncomfortable silence. Buffy only stepped closer to him noting how nervous he got with each step. She raised her hands to make a small gesture of peace, and he almost jumped out of his skin.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Clem." Buffy whispered.

"So...ummm, so you're like not mad at me for taking the little one to ummm, yeah!"

"No. I am not mad at you for taking Dawn to Rack's. She can be pretty persuasive." Buffy smiled.

"And you're not gonna kill me then?" Clem asked hesitant for an answer.

"No Clem. I'm not gonna kill you." Buffy sounded so defeated as she walked towards the door to leave him in peace.

Clem relaxed at her words and followed her movements, as she walked towards the steel door. He moved slightly from the light as it pierced in thru the open door, for need really, except he just liked the dark. He waved a little at her, afraid to move too much still around the Slayer, a small smile sailing over his features.

"So, uh...I guess I'll see ya around Sla..I mean Buffy." Clem stuttered.

"Yeah I guess so." Buffy smiled as she walked through the door. She paused for a moment, and without turning asked her undying question. "Clem, do you know if Spike is back?"

"No. I don't know when he is coming back." Clem stated.

"Oh." Is all Buffy could manage as she shut the door behind her and made her way back to her home.

Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go

A week later everything seemed to some what settle down, and get back to as normal as things did around Sunnydale. Willow moved back to her parent's house for a while. She couldn't handle sleeping in, or even being in the same room Tara died in. Anyways, that police still had the yellow tape on the room, and around advertising something bad happened here. It was hard to stay in the house for Buffy and Dawn. Dawn spent most of her time either at Xander's or one of her friend's house like Janice or somebody. Thank goodness for Buffy that Giles had stayed with her stay the Summers' home. They would sit and talk for hours, occasionally going over to the Magic Box to help clean up there. Buffy told Giles everything all over again that has happened in Sunnydale since he had left, and most of the time they would laugh about it all. Today though was going to be different. Today the entire gang was getting together to bury Tara. Willow called her family, but after last time they were here they had a few words with Willow apparently. Needless to say her blood family wasn't coming to her funeral.

Tara's funeral was held at the same cemetery Buffy's mother was buried. Not very far away from each other in fact. It was a gorgeous day outside. The sun warmed everybody gently, surrounding all of them in a blanket of summer. Lilies and roses covered every square inch around them with the white coffin perched in front of them all. They had a Wicca priestess perform the prayers and service. A few other people from school showed up to her funeral, but you could just tell they didn't know her, not like we did. We barely knew her. Buffy and Xander thought. Xander held onto Willow as she cried in his arms, everybody else standing back mourning in their own ways. Gently every once in awhile placing small consoling hands on Willow, trying to comfort her a little more. Willow stood to say one last goodbye to her lover, her friend.

Not even this can separate us
We are bound to one another
By more then just a string that can be broken death
We are bound together by our souls
One day we will meet again
Be reunited
Our love shall never falter or break
For death is not the end
We will all miss you
We will all remember you

When Willow finished her speech she bent down carefully next to the coffin and placed a gentle kiss on the outside before it lowered to the earth. The flower in Willows hand dropped down on top of it, and she walked away. Xander moved to the coffin and put his flower on, turned around with a brief smile and then followed Willow. We all stood and watched him catch her before she left the cemetery then individually said our last goodbyes to our friend. Everybody left one by one leaving a hole in the cemetery and left over flowers marking the spot of a loved one. Buffy stayed behind wanting to be alone for a little bit. She made sure Dawn was safe and doing all right has she headed off with Giles and Anya. Buffy stood there next to where Tara was being laid to rest and watched as the crewman laid down the dirt on her coffin.

The pounding of the dirt hitting the wood thundered through her body making her shudder. Each scoop of dirt was like a boulder smashing into her heart making her wince. Buffy couldn't force herself to move, she just stood there and watched. Wanting to say goodbye, but had no words to say it. She threw her single daisy in with the dirt and turned around and left. She walked over to where her mother was placing the small bouquet of flowers near her tombstone.

"Well Mom. You're not alone anymore." Buffy whispered. "Tara is up there to keep you company now."

Buffy noticed a small envelope lying at the base of her mother's tombstone. It only read Joyce on the front of it in unusual handwriting. Buffy looked around to see if she could see anybody and then open the envelope up. The letter unfolded in an egg white parchment paper, with script handwriting.

Well Joyce it seems once again you are not alone. I seem to never be able to save anybody. Not you, nor Buffy, and now it is Tara. I know I haven't been here in a long time to visit, but it seems your daughters keep me rather busy. Definitely not an excuse though. I will visit you and Tara more often now that things have changed. You two were the only ones that ever treated me like a man, and not a monster. A real man anyways. Well I don't want to drone on and on about what not. I wanted to share a poem with you and Tara. I know this is fitting for both of you because we all loved you both very much. Red is sure gonna miss her. I know she probably feel this way, because I have felt it more then once in my un-life now. I miss talking to you Joyce.

Spike

Stop all the clocks
Cut off the telephone
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin
Let the mourners come.
The airplanes fly by over head
Scribbling a message
She is dead
Put crate bows on the necks of white doves
Let traffic policeman wear black satin gloves.
She is my north
My south
My east
and west.
My working week
and Sunday rest.
My noon
My midnight
My talk
My song
I thought that would love would live forever
I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now
Put out everyone
Pack up the moon
And dismantle the sun.
Put away the ocean
And sweep up the wood
For nothing now could ever come to any good.

Buffy fell to her knees reading the poem Spike left to her mother and Tara. She couldn't believe he could write such things. She couldn't believe he would actually take the time to do so. Buffy read the letter one more time and a single tear fell from her cheek down to the paper. She folded the paper back up when she was done and placed it back in the envelope. Looking over to Tara's grave Buffy's breath was taken away. A small bouquet of yellow daisies laid on the now covered grave, and a tall figure in black walking away, moving to the shadows of the trees. Buffy dropped the letter over her mother's resting place and ran for the trees.

"Spike!" Buffy yelled.

Nobody was there. Only a faint scent of cigarettes lingered in the air. Buffy walked back through the cemetery to make her way home. She looked over one last time at Tara and her mother's grave. The yellow daisies lay over the fresh earth of one, and Buffy blinked at the small bouquet of yellow daises placed ever so discreetly next to her bouquet on her mother's grave. The letter once again propped up on the ground against her tombstone. Buffy froze and looked around trying to see him, to sense him, but how could it be. Not during the day, but then again Spike was like no other vampire.

Buffy ran her hardest to Spike's crypt swinging open the door with a crash. Darkness blanketed the empty crypt. No couch, no television, no small fridge that stored his blood bags, not even Clem sitting around. Buffy ran through the top over to the ladder, and jumped downstairs. Everything was gone. Nothing, just a crypt, nothing was left, no bed or bar, no Spike.

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

Buffy was wrapped up in her bed staring at Spike's duster lying over the chair at her vanity. It had been days since she went to his crypt and found it vacant, not sign of him anywhere, or even Clem. She had been to Willie's searching for him, but nobody had heard anything about him since he left. She tried everywhere she could think. At night she was haunted by the vision of him just as much as during the day. She would go out and fight in the cemeteries or blackened alleys always feel like she was being watched. During the day was the same way. Sometimes she would spot him walking outside her house during the day, but by the time she would run to him he would be gone. The allies at night concealed him in darkness when she thought she caught a glimpse of him. She was always wrong though, and he was never really there. Her slayer senses couldn't even feel him, not like it use to anyways. The feeling now when she thought it was him was so different, so unusual that it just couldn't be him.

One thing I don't know why
Doesn't even matter how hard I try
Keep that in mind. I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard

Right now though everything else seemed to be getting better she guessed. Willow had still yet to come over to her house, but Buffy had gone to hers, and they would hug and talk. Not like old times really, but better then it has been in a long time. Sometimes Dawn or Anya would come with Buffy to see her, and it would be just the girls night out, though nobody said anything. Giles even went a couple times to see her; you know make sure she was doing all right and all. These last couple days though Buffy has tried to spend as much time as possible with Giles before he leaves again. She took off work for a couple days, even though they are still hurting for money. Giles gave her some to tie her over for a bit, and he paid for Tara's funeral. The police said they haven't found the shooter yet, and they finally came by today and took down that horrible tape. Giles paid for the new window installation, and the carpets were cleaned. Nobody else was able to go in the room with it still looking like that. Giles just took care of everything, and tomorrow he will be leaving once again.

Buffy reached out her hand and played her fingertips gently over the leather of his duster, then turned on her back and closed her eyes. Ever since the funeral and the flowers, the poem, everything, Buffy has been invaded with images of her times with Spike. She always seemed to drift to sleep with one memory or another of him. She thought of after she came back and she went to him, and they talked and laughed. She thought about their first kiss, and the kiss after that one, and the passion while they had sex, sometimes she liked to think of them making love. It seems to make her sleep with smile. Until that is the nightmares came. The look of desperation in Spike's eyes, the fear scorching through Buffy as she try to free herself from his grasp in the bathroom. She would wake up in a nightmarish rage at the memory of what happened, the look in his eyes before he left, and she would dress and go out for the hunt. Every night it would be the same.

After Buffy and the gang said goodbye to Giles, Buffy made sure everybody was doing fine. She needed a little alone time. She left the Magic Box hugging everybody goodbye for the night, assuring her sister she would be home later, then she made her way to the Bronze. She sat at the bar just like last time when Giles left and drank her drink. Tears threatened to cross her face, but she forced them to stay back. It really was no place to cry. Not here, not now. She glanced around the bar as she took sips from her drink listening to the music, and saw him. He stood in the corner, in the darkness of the club. His platinum blonde hair almost blinding glaring out from the black, and he smiled and walked away from her. Buffy dashed out of her seat trying to force her way thru the crowd, making it to the door. The blinding light from the sun making her lose sight for a moment. She looked down the alley, and he wasn't there, nobody was there. She shrugged her shoulders, thinking it was just her imagination playing tricks on her again. I mean there was no way he could walk out of the Bronze into the day. She glanced back in the bar, not seeing anybody and closed the door as she started walking down the alley to her home.

When Buffy got to her house there was a single daisy lying at the base of her door. The light shinning on it like a diamond. A small note lay next to it written in unfamiliar writing. Just a simple, 'You look stunning even when your sad', written on the note.

In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me.I'm surprised
I got so far

Buffy burst through door and ran into the living room where Dawn was sitting on the couch watching TV. Buffy held the daisy in her hand and she stood silent pointing at the door looking at her sister. Dawn stood up and cautiously approached her baffled sister.

"Who is that from?" Dawn asked.

"Did you see him!?" Buffy shouted.

"See who? I don't know what you are talking about." Dawn said.

"Dawn did you see who put this there? Did you see Spike?" Buffy demanded and grabbed her sister's arm.

"I didn't see anybody! I don't know who left that here!" Dawn demanded pulling her arm away. "Spike's back."

Buffy just turned her to face Dawn. Everything was so weird right now, and neither could explain anything that was going on. And now, now there was another daisy, this time at her door. The handwriting though, it was soā€¦different. It couldn't be Spike, there was no way. Buffy swore to herself for these odd visions she has been having lately and went into the kitchen lying the flower and letter on the island. Dawn followed her and watched as she silently shifted through the fridge looking for stuff to eat. Since Giles was here they went shopping and had more food to choose from, that wasn't from the Doublemeat Palace, which was nice. Dawn picked up the flower and smelled it as she moved the letter around so she was able to read what it said. Dawn just smiled and placed the flower down on the table where it was and went over to help Buffy with dinner.

"So, uh, you don't know who is leaving you those things?" Dawn inquired.

"What?! What things? There are no 'things.' Only one thing. One." Buffy pointed out.

"Ok, ok geez. So you don't know who sent you the one thing?" Dawn smiled.

"No." Buffy whispered. "No I don't."

"I am sure whoever it is will show himself soon enough Buffy." Dawn suggested.

"Do you know who it is?" Buffy asked.

"I already told you that I don't know." Dawn said. "I bet it is Spike though."

The girls finished cooking and had a nice meal together. Afterwards they made their way to the Magic Box to do a little bit of training. Buffy guessed it was high time to start training Dawn how to fight, instead of her just picking it up from watching all the time. They spent a couple hours fighting, and mocking each other until neither wanted to keep going for tonight, so they cleaned up their stuff and made their way home. Buffy did a quick patrol with Dawn at her side for the first time ever, but to Dawn's disappointment it was slow. Not one vampire showed its head. Buffy though was acting like they were being followed, always watching behind her, stopping and back tracking to see who was there. Nobody ever showed their face, and it was midnight before they knew it. They spent the whole night together talking about all kinds of things. For the first time Dawn actually felt like somebody important to her sister. Buffy told her about how her and Spike came to be and how they broke up. They even talked about memories long forgotten over the last year about their mother. When they got home Dawn hugged Buffy goodnight and went into her room.

Buffy got ready for bed, and wrapped up in her sheets and stared at the duster that laid over the back end of the chair. For a second the daisy and note caught her attention, but the duster is what kept her attention. It was always in the same place, only time it moved was in Buffy would carry it with her and smell the faint scent that it carried of Spike with it. She reached out and touched the leather lazily like she has every night, rolled over and closed her eyes. Her thoughts were more vivid tonight as she lay trying to go to sleep. That night in the house, after they fought, and she kissed him. All the passion and want that was in that kiss shook her to her bones. Her thoughts of him entering her that night carried her into her sleep, and soon the nightmares began. The ice blue eyes staring down at her, forcing to touch her.

Each time it seemed the nightmares got worse, her own memories of the time didn't even compare to what her nightmares showed her. Her nightmares showed her the monster she let invade her, her memories showed her a desperate man. Like always she woke from up in a fright got dressed and went out to hunt. This time the patrol was more satisfying then earlier. A couple new fledglings rose from their fresh grave, and she ran into a pack of nameless demons that just really pissed her off when they one of them kicked her in the face and she flew over a tombstone. After the fight she felt so refreshed, killing those demons always made her feel a little better. When she straightened her clothes she walked through the cemetery up to where Tara and her mother laid to check on them. On both gravesites she noticed a new set of fresh bouquets. Buffy just smiled, somebody was obviously taking care of them and keeping their promise, and she had a faint idea of who it was. When she made it home she sneaked upstairs into her room and changed back into her pajamas. She pulled the blankets down from her bed, not quiet remembering her making it, but right before she laid down she noticed a single daisy laying there with a small note written in the same hand as the one before. Don't cry sweetheart. It will be better, promise. Was all the note said. Just as short as the one left at the door. Buffy walked over to the window with the note and the flower in her hand looking out into the empty darkness. She laid here new flower and note next to the other one, and covered back up into her bed staring at the black duster.

Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end

Buffy fell asleep staring at the duster in front of her. Spike sat out her window for a moment to make sure her sleep had no more nightmares this time. He watched as a single tear rolled down her cheek and crashed onto the satin pillow cradling her head. He felt her heartbeat slow, and her breathing calm as she drifted off to sleep and he jumped off the ledge and walked away from the house lighting a cigarette. He had to go before he went in there and comforted her, but he knew her tears were because of him, and right now them together was the last thing they needed.

You kept everything inside and even though I tried.it all fell apart
What it meant to me
Will eventually
Be a memory
Of a time when I

I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I could go
And for all this
There's one thing I should know...

Continued...

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