This isn't 'Dirty Dancing or Roll of Thunder funny' (I'll never recreate the Snoopy dance, sob!), but I thought this would be an interesting situation which is more silly than fic, so voila! Also, please please tell me if you think I should carry on with the series? I'm not coming back to the sillyfics for a while as I wanna start a brand new fanfic next. Ooh, I just realised the name Double Date is also 'DD' initialled like Dirty Dancing fic, hehe! Oh well, I like the name, so it's staying
DISCLAIMER- Nope, nada, uh-uh. I don't own nothing
RATING- I mention of the sex, so NC-12? I dunno
SPOILERS- My other sillyfics, season two and season four stuff. This is the fourth sillyfic in the series
FEEDBACK- Tell me what you thought of it! No flaming though please, I'm fragile *g*
SYNOPSIS- Spike asks Buffy and Angel to double date with him and his new vamp girlfriend.

Fade In

The Mansion. ANGEL and BUFFY are getting ready for a night out slaying.

BUFFY- "Angel, is it true that vampires are attracted to bright colours?"

ANGEL- "Like bulls are? No, why did you say that?!"

BUFFY- "So you wouldn't want me to wear this then?"

She shows him a funky red top. It's gorgeous.

ANGEL- "Uh…I…uh…"

BUFFY nods, amused and changes into it.

BUFFY- "The great thing is, it's already red, so blood won't stain it!"

ANGEL- "I'm sorry that we're not going out anywhere special tonight, Buffy. Just to the local graveyard…"

BUFFY- "Anywhere with you is special"

They begin to smooch, when the doorbell rings.

ANGEL opens it to reveal…

BUFFY and ANGEL- "Spike!!"

He walks in followed by a petite brunette who looks similar to DRUSILLA, but isn't.

BRUNETTE- "Angelus! It's an honour to meet you, look at me all nervous- actually, don't, I've heard of your sadistic streak, hehehe, I don't want to tell you what to do now, you might throw me into a furnace or something hehehe"

ANGEL- "uhhhh…I'm missing something here, who are you?"

BRUNETTE- "Sherry. An Angelus Groupie"

ANGEL- "Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not-"

SPIKE- "-The type of person to give out autographs, that's okay, she understands, hah. Can I have a word?"

BUFFY- "Have an explanation even"

SPIKE pulls them aside.

SPIKE- "Angel, will you do me a huge favour and come out with me and Sherry? We met at a bar, and she wasn't interested in me one bit until she heard I was related to you, or to be specific, Angelus. It's an embarrassment to be related to you as Angel, a git who kills his own people. Not exactly something to put me on other vampires Christmas lists, unless it was an Christmas hit list-"

ANGEL- "But you kill vamps too-"

SPIKE- "Oy, I was talking! Sherry is a big fan of Angelus, and I kind of said if she came out with me for a meal, you would uh come with us?"

SPIKE glances at BUFFY, who has reached for her stake and approaching the gal-vampire menacingly.

SPIKE- "Don't kill my date, toots, it's rude"

BUFFY- "I can make it a bonding experience if you like"

ANGEL- "What do you want from me again?"

SPIKE- "You, me and Sherry out for a bite- non-mortal of course- to eat. Then you sod off and leave me to entertain her and give me a chance to turn on my Spike Charm. Then any twaddle about Angelus will be no more forever, hehehe!"

ANGEL- "Seeing as your Spike Charm has been turned off for the past hundred years, what makes today so special?"

BUFFY- "And you can't do this yourself because…"

SPIKE- "She's only interested in fang-less boy here. He's my bait, he entices her out, and I make her fall in lust with me through witty banter and sensual dialogue."

BUFFY- "Enticed like a fish? Witty banter? Sensual dialogue? I must say, that plan would have to work. Especially when she's crawling all over my guy for the entire evening trying to be near a someone who is hot. How are you going to stop her liking *that* body?"

Their POV of ANGEL. He is rippling his muscles in front of the mirror. (A/N- yeah, major plot hole but this also has Spike on a date, so it's not realistic!)

Their POV, SHERRY, entranced by him.

SPIKE- "Good point. We need Angelus repellent. Guess you're coming too, she won't make a move if you're there. Giving me the all clear"

BUFFY- "A double date? NO way! God, Spike, I promise you, if I go, I'll stake her. It's my job as a Slayer. And a humanitarian"

SPIKE- "I'll strike you a deal. You give me one day and night of Sherry bliss, I get the goss on where her local vamp hideout is. Just pretend for one evening, to be Angelus' paramour rather than Angel's soul mate, okay?"

BUFFY- "I dunno.."

SPIKE- "Vampire paramours still smooch you know"

BUFFY- "You have a deal, mister."

They shake hands and walk over to the giggling vamp.

BUFFY- "Hey Sherry, my name's Buffy, Buffy the Vampire -"

SPIKE- "Full stop. Buffy the Vampire, that's you, isn't it? She likes to be official about these kind of things. A run of the mill creature of darkness, oppressor of goodness, evil bitcha at heart"

SPIKE gives BUFFY a meaningful 'GET IT?' glance.

BUFFY- "Uh, yeah, that's me, baby, grrr, grrr"

SHERRY- "Your clothes aren't very vampish, the colour hides the blood…"

BUFFY- "I uh, stole them from a girl I killed. As I'm evil"

SHERRY- "Yeah, well I suppose it's a bit slutty, which is the main point, isn't it?"

BUFFY- "Grrrrrr"

SHERRY- "Ooh, my turn! Grrrrrr!"

SPIKE- "Grrrrrr!"

They all look at ANGELUS, who is supposed to be the meanest vamp ever, for his turn. ANGEL looks away from the mirror to find them all staring at him.

ANGEL- "grr?"

Black Out

ACT TWO

Fade In

THE RESTURANT. BUFFY, SPIKE, ANGEL and SHERRY are sitting around a posh table, with candles etc, conversation in full swing- as in BUFFY looks bored and grossed, ANGEL looks uncomfortable and SPIKE is looking at SHERRY, who is chatting non-stop.

SHERRY- "So after he fell unconscious in the floor, I killed him, then casually walked into the house and sucked dry his screaming girlfriend. Guess that put him off cheating on her again, hahaha! That had to be my worst date ever- he didn't even pay for the meal"

SPIKE- "Uh, that reminds me, Sherry…"

BUFFY- "Urgh, that was a vile and disgusting way of biting someone, I feel sick! I mean, wow."

SHERRY- "Brilliant, huh? It was Angelus' original move, I hope you don't mind my copying sir?"

ANGEL (looking a bit sick)- "Not at all…"

SHERRY- "Oh my, I'm such a big fan of your killing technique, my friends are going to be so jealous!"

BUFFY- "Off topic, Sherry"

SPIKE- "Enough about him anyway. Did I ever tell you I killed two Slayers?"

BUFFY- "Off topic, Spike"

SHERRY- "Why? We're vampires, we talk about all this stuff"

SPIKE- "Angelus here is pretty jealous of me. He's supposed to be the evillest vampire ever, but has never ever killed a Slayer. Bit of a wimp, really, hey Angelus?"

ANGEL- "I could kick your butt back to Britain if I wanted, Spike."

SHERRY- (back to Angel) "I heard a rumour that you nearly killed that crazy immortal Slayer Boffy Summers a few years ago, something about Acathla, is that true?"

BUFFY- "You heard about Acathla, but you've never heard about him being cursed by Gypsies and spending the past few decades slaying vampires with fiery revenge?"

A nervous moment of silence as BUFFY realises what she did.

SHERRY looks surprised, then starts laughing hysterically

SHERRY- "Oh you're so funny!!"

ANGEL- "She's just a, uh, pumpkin of evillness"

BUFFY- "You're comparing me to a pumpkin?"

ANGEL- "Pumpkins are funny! And you, as a vampire are evil , uh, so a pumpkin of evilness. I wasn't comparing *you* to a pumpkin"

BUFFY blushes, she understands. She leans over and kisses him tenderly.

BUFFY- "Okay, so you're a scarecrow of evilness, you scare all the other crows away"

SHERRY- "I hear ya, very poetic."

The WAITER comes over and refills their drinks

SHERRY- "He's nice, I'm going to kill him later"

BUFFY- "Uh, let me do it, I want his clothes"

SHERRY- "So when did you get sired?"

BUFFY- "Oh, it's so long ago now, what, three hundred years?"

SPIKE- "Which would make you older than your boyfriend, ducks"

BUFFY -"Of course I am, I'm his sire, dear grand-son Spike. And unlike some peoples sires, I'VE stuck around"

SPIKE glares at her

SPIKE- "So *grandma*, tell me exactly how you sired him. Regale me with that extra detailed story you always tell me"

BUFFY- "What, right now?"

SHERRY- "Ooh, yes, I've read about Angelus being sired in the monthly newsletter, but would love for you to give me the real deal. Although I heard your name was Darla or something…"

BUFFY- "Uh…"

ANGEL prays for a black hole to suck him out of there.

ANGEL- "You remember, don't you, honey? We met in that back alley…"

BUFFY- "With the horses and pretty dresses, uh yeah- it's coming back to me. We bumped into each other, and he he-"

ANGEL (laughing good-naturedly)- "Was drunk, as usual"

BUFFY- "And he stumbled over, so I ran up to him to help-"

She notices ANGEL'S subtle head shaking, uh-oh, wrong…

BUFFY- "And tore his throat out, the end. Woah, I've finished my starter, let's have main course. Hah…"

SHERRY- "Uh, Angelus, you're quiet. I always thought you were… rough. You seem more…broody"

ANGEL (irritated)- You're telling me what I look like? You know what Angelus did to the last person who told him what he looked like? Fed his writhing body into a meat dispenser"

SPIKE laughs- "I remember that, pimply vamp said you looked like Pacey out of Dawsons Creek"

ANGEL- "Yeah, so don't go telling me what I look like, I'll be as quiet as I want, so there!!"

He puts some sunshades on.

Everyone stares at him

ANGEL- "What? I'm a badass vamp! I look cool"

SPIKE- "You look like a dork"

ANGEL- "At least I'm not impotent in the vamp department. …Hang on, I am"

SPIKE- "Grrrr"

SHERRY- "Grrrr"

ANGEL and BUFFY- "Grrrrr"

SHERRY- "Oh, you're all so much fun! Swoon!"

BUFFY- "You know Spike, that uh, *steak* I wasn't going to order, I've changed my mind. I'm wanting a burned steak, inside out. As it's thick, bland and comes with a sidedish of peroxide, which I'm frankly thinking hasn't a hope in hell of surviving the night not in my stomach. So I'm gonna go re-order my meal, then kill the waiter. Comphrende?"

She reaches into her bag for a stake.

SHERRY- "Order the same for me while you're there, it sounds nice"

BUFFY charges over the table and hoists it above Sherry's heart.

SHERRY- "Oh my god, you're the Slayer! Angelus, I'm so sorry, she had us all fooled"

ANGEL- "Not Angelus"- takes sunglasses off - "Angel. I not only work with her, I'm her soulmate"

SHERRY-"Noooo! I loved you, man, and you betrayed and discarded me like so many before!"

ANGEL- "Bwaahaha, you loved Angelus, and he'd have pulled your spine out rather than spend a minute with you. I'm Angel, and I'm a vampire… with a *soul*"

SHERRY screams in shock.

SHERRY- "Say it ain't so!"

BUFFY- "Learn to deal"

She goes to stab her, but is thrown off by SPIKE.

SPIKE- "Can't I have ONE blooming date where you don't stick your oar in? Unlike some randy Slayers and vamps, I haven't had sex in ages, and tonight was my last chance before I gave up and joined a convent, but no, you won't do your mortal enemy one small favour, after all we've been through together"

ANGEL- "We dislike you, Spike, and we've had no redeeming experiences together. You tend to not have a soul"

BUFFY- "And being my mortal enemy? You stopped being that when my boyfriend temporally returned to the dark side, after that you just turned goofy. Now get out the way and let me kill your date"

SPIKE- "GOOFY?!"

Angered, he hits BUFFY hard across the face. She falls back, surprised at the impact.

ANGEL- "Buffy. Noooo! Spike, I'm gonna kill ya for that"

SPIKE- "Yeah well she keeps angering me-wait a minute! Oh my Uncle Arthur, the chip, it's stopped working! Stupid Initiative mechanics with cheap electronics! I can kill again! I'm free!!"

BUFFY and ANGEL- "NOOOOOO!"

A massive fight starts between the lovers and Sex Starved SPIKE. He actually holds his own and doesn't feel pain once. He throws ANGEL across the table and blocks a punch from BUFFY, then turns to his horrified date while his enemies get their wits together.

Spike- "YESSSSSS! Come on, Sherry, join in, there's plenty good around to punch"

He holds his hand out for her.

SHERRY- "No way, I wouldn't touch you. You were sired by *him*, that soul disease is probably contagious"

SPIKE- "Lets quickly test it, shall we?"

He stakes her very swiftly with a fondue stick from a nearby table. She poofs into dust.

SPIKE- (cont) "Soul my ass, I just killed my own date"

He runs out of the restaurant, then comes back and shouts

SPIKE- "Bwaahaha! I'm back in the evil camp, goodbye goodguy work, hello my blackened soul. I'm gonna kill ya slayer, and I will notch up my belt to three dead slayers. That'll keep me ahead of Gel-Boy here, and one day, I'll have his 'evillest vampire ever' crown"

ANGEL self consciously touches his hair. BUFFY aims her stake, about to throw it.

BUFFY- "You're dead"

ANGEL- "Don't you think it makes me look cool?"

SPIKE- "Hey, I haven't finished my evil speech!"

BUFFY and ANGEL- "Ooh, sorry"

SPIKE- "So now I'm going out to kill and maim a couple of hundred people to meet last years quota as I'm a bit behind, then I'm gonna have some fun by wreaking some evil where you'll never be able to follow. Disney Land!!"

He runs out into the night again, and BUFFY throws her stake into the wall where he was, alas too late, hitting plaster.

BUFFY- "D'oh!

ANGEL- "Damn, he was too fast for us. You know what that means, Buffy?"

DRAMATIC MUSIC STARTS, like the music at the end of I Only Have Eyes For You (where SPIKE was getting out of the wheelchair)

ANGEL- (cont) "We'll have to find some Schmo that used to work for the Initiative, convince him to help us, go to Disney Land, stop SPIKE from unleashing his next evil plan by putting another chip in his brain, and thus save the world once more. And if we're fast in doing that, we'll have a few days holiday at the funnest place on earth to spare too!"

BUFFY- "Ooh, yay! Angel, a vacation alone together at last. Lets go"

They kiss passionately.

A/N I was going to finish it with Dru returning as I wanted SPIKE to have some happiness, but thought this plot twist would be cool instead, and way overdue in my opinion, *g*. Did I ruin a perfectly acceptable plot because of it? Should I have finished it another way? Please say, as I'd really appreciate opinions.

And on an entirely irrelevant subject, if you've been to Disney Land, please could you tell me what the place is like? Describe a few rides, size of the place, interesting stories etc? Purely unrelated to this fic of course, bwaahaha- okay, maybe there is a little link... okay i'll be quiet now.

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