PART THREE

"What is he doing on my sofa?" her mom asked as Buffy reached the living room.

"Short story? He's got amnesia, can't remember anything. He came to me because I was the last memory he had"

Angel awkwardly smiled, stood up with Riley's shirt only half done, and extended his hand.

"Hello Mrs. Summers" he said with a worried grin, remembering only meeting her once, when she very abruptly told him to get lost. He tried hard to think about what his cover was after all these years, whether it was still a teacher or uni student or something else.

But wouldn't she know if he'd dated Buffy for two years?

"Angel" she said bluntly, a half smile that even he in all his confusion could see was forced. At least she knew his name well, so he wasn't lecture boy anymore.

"I'm sorry for all this" he said, offering an explanation even though Buffy was doing 'I've already explained' hand movements from behind her mom's back. "I was just passing through Sunnydale and kind of, didn't have any money for a hotel so Buffy and Riley let me stay here?"

"Really?" she asked, amused.

"So, I'll be going now"

Joyce smirked "Please do" she said, indicating to the front door.

Angel walked to it, then without breaking stride turned around and came back.

"I'll catch up with Buffy first though, I'd only just gotten here an hour ago"

"I won't ask" Joyce shrugged, not really comprehending Angels behaviour, amnesia or not. But it was an innocence she'd never seen before. "I'll go wake Dawn up for school"

When she left, Buffy smiled at him, holding back giggles.

"She already knows you're a vampire"

"What? How?"

"Events..lead me to tell her."

"Events that you won't tell me, right?"

"Best you stay unknowing for now, trust me"

"That sounds ominous"

She walked over to him and adjusted his collar. The green commando shirt didn't really suit Angel and his mysterious stranger look, which kind of added to the comic relief of it all.

"Giles is coming," she said, "He might be able to help you"

"He's still in watcher capacity, right?"

"Uh-huh. Well, just recently. I spent a year without one, although we still stayed in contact and all"

Aside from her ignoring all her friends for that entire year.

"So does your mom know that you're a slayer? If she knows about vampires…"

"Yes. She knows"

"How did you meet Riley?" Angel asked, very curious. It was painfully weird being with her only hours ago in an amazing relationship, then knowing they weren't anymore. What did Riley have that he didn't, apart from the human thing? Why did they split up?

"In uni" she replied.

"Oh yeah, I suppose you would be at uni by now. I've missed so much…"

"Ssh, it'll come back"

"What if it doesn't?"

"Then you're lucky."

She regretted the sentence before she even said it, but it was true. Whatever he was feeling now would be tenfold by the time he discovered the truth.

"You're scaring me, I'm beginning to think that I'd rather not"

For a few moments, they held each others gaze, which wasn't even broken by the doorbell. They continued to stare at each other, neither willing to turn away. The bell went again, and Buffy resignedly walked to the door and opened it.

"You were quick" she said to Giles, closing the door quickly behind him before Angel started smoking from sun light.

He indicated to his pyjama's from under his long coat, and humbly smiled.

"It sounded urgent"

"It is"

She lead him to the living room where Angel was waiting.

"Giles!" he said gratefully, rushing over and shaking his hand like he did with Joyce.

Giles didn't know how to react, so shook his hand back.

"How's Jenny?"

There could have been an explosion in the room, but it would never have deafened the chilling silence that followed.

"Is this a sick joke?!" Giles asked in disbelief,

Oh God. Buffy grimaced and quickly rushed to Angels side.

"He has amnesia, sorry Giles, I should have warned him. He doesn't know that Jenny's dead"

"Jenny's dead?" Angel echoed "Giles, I'm so sorry. I'm a fool, I should have thought…."

Buffy touched him on the arm to indicate that it was alright.

"It's my fault, I could have prepared you"

"How about Willow, Xander?" Angel asked, aware that he was largely unaware.

"Fine." She reassured.

Giles had stayed quiet at this point, memories flooding through him as well. Finally, he spoke up. Although his tone was a touch harsher than it was a few moments ago, he couldn't help it.

"How many years has he lost?"

"Three. I think he had an accident, he was covered with blood"

"And he can't remember one thing from the past few years?"

"No, he came here thinking we were still a couple"

Angel sheepishly moved away, feeling this was none of his business.

"Giles, speak!" Buffy urged "How do we get him back to normal?"

"Buffy, amnesia can only leave on its own accord, you can't force it"

"So we just leave him like this?"

"I'm not saying that! Angel will remember, just give him time. And you're saying he can't recall one thing?"

"No, nothing, apart from our major kissage before things went wrong"

From the other side of the room, Angel's ears pricked.

"I guess we need to do something, in case Cordelia has a vision. Without Angel-"

"Yeah, Giles, I'm already clued in. What can we do to help him?"

"Well, uh" Giles thought hard about this "Make him relive some of the memories he's lost, recreate them. Hopefully they'll return sooner rather than later. It works on television shows."

Buffy shook her head.

"Don't ask me to do that, half of our memories involved pain and hate. Can't we use magic?"

Angel rubbed his head and sat on the sofa dejected.

"Sorry, but no, that would be dangerous. Take him to some places where he experienced life-changing events, call Willow and Xander, see if they'll help. I know it'll be painful but if you don't, people will die in Los Angeles."

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to stop from breaking down.

"You're asking me to re-live the most intense and hard to get over relationship I've ever had, aren't you"

"If there was another way…" Giles smiled "It'll be painful on all of us, but it might work."

Knowing it was the right choice wasn't making it any easier, like when she 'killed' Angel. She opened her eyes again, resolved.

"Thanks Giles. You're right. But you realise I'm not going to enjoy this, don't you?"

Giles just nodded and walked to the door.

"Tell him in order of events, it might be easier to understand that way."

With that, Giles left the house. He'd helped her brainstorm big time, but she was sad that he couldn't help any other way. Him and Angel rarely had any quality time, aside from when Giles had 'Rippered' the factory, and she got the impression that she should scrap that from the re-construction list.

"OK, memory-boy" she told Angel "Guess we're in for an interesting evening."

*

Calling everybody to tell them what was happening was the least fun part of the day. It being light, Angel had to stay in her house until dusk, so they had the hours by themselves. Buffy phoned Cordy, Willow and Xander, figuring they could pass the news on to all the other scoobies. Her friends responses were different as usual, Cordy seemed the most concerned however, which surprised Buffy, making her jealous despite herself. Willow was very interested in helping re-live some moments down memory lane, and Xander just let the sarky comments flow. She didn't call Riley. She didn't want the stress of explaining that she was gonna do some non-Riley centred work for the next few days, so she left him alone. He was probably sulking somewhere anyway.

The best part of reverted Angel being there was how they could spend an entire day having a laugh- playing board games, watching television, crooning to music- It was amazing. Even talking about pre-Bezoar topics didn't ache as much as she thought they would. Angel was without the guilt he'd suffered and unaware of how one moment of true happiness could take it all away from him, so he was much more relaxed than she'd seen him in a long time. He knew that something had happened over the three years, but would never have guessed. She didn't want to tell him.

Buffy dared Angel to do karaoke- and he'd chosen 'Mandy', saying it felt familiar. She didn't know what that was about, but wished she did when he badly sang as it was so funny. Oh, and 'badly' was an understatement.

"I'd like to thank my backing singer" Angel finished, referring to the barking dog next door who'd kept perfect time with him.

Buffy clapped her hands and took the microphone, ready to sing Cher, who she claimed had a special place in her heart after her first year at uni.

But as the night drew closer, Buffy became more anxious. It had been perfect, and when it turned dark, Angel would know how deeply he'd hurt her, and she didn't want to give him that pain. Finally, the sun dropped, and Buffy sadly helped Angel onto his feet, from the position he'd been on the twister board.

"I've never had so much fun" she sighed, eyes gleaming slightly

"I'd like to say the same, but I don't know if I have or not" Angel joked.

"Lets go."

*

The first major thing that had happened after the Bezoar outbreak according to Buffy's journal was her birthday, and the one and only time they'd made love. She wished that there'd been a different adventure before that so that he could experience some happy memories first, but no- she'd have to drop Angel and herself into the deep-end.

Time to claw open those scars again.

The route they took from Buffy's house became clear to Angel- they were heading for his apartment.

"I don't have my key" he reminded her

She didn't reply.

When they reached it, she knocked loudly.

"What are you doing?!"

"Checking to see if anyone else lives here"

"Oh"

There was no answer, so Buffy subtly broke the lock and let them in. It was like walking into a memory- everything was exactly the same as she'd last seen it, the ornaments, the sweet smell, the bed...

The bed…

"I'm surprised that no-one else had moved in" she said, walking to it and feeling a tear forming.

"Whistler gave it to me- do you know Whistler?"

She nodded, tracing her fingers over the red sheets. She bent down and saw one of her earrings on the floor. She left it there and turned around.

"This is where we had sex" she said briskly, walking to the door . "Come on, next memory"

"Wait!"

She turned back and looked straight into Angel's innocent eyes.

"You can't just tell me that and walk off."

"Oh I intend to"

"That bad, was it?" Angel growled, walking to his bed and sitting on it, pleading for the memory to come back.

She closed the door and leant back on it, gulping.

"It was beautiful" she said "The best night of my life"

"I…was your first?"

"Uh-huh. My seventeenth birthday."

Angel thought back to what for him was the day before

"Yeah, that was coming up in a few weeks. I decided on your present yesterday"

"A claddagh ring, I know"

He looked at her hand from across the room and noticed she didn't have it on.

"Where is it?"

"Gone. Like everything- gone"

"Was it my fault?"

Buffy slowly walked over to him and sat on the bed too.

"No, whatever you remember, don't ever think that. You were the victim"

He digested that then timidly pulled his arm around her shoulders, leaning over her hair and smelling it.

"Different, more flowery" he sighed.

She pulled away from him.

"I have a boyfriend"

"Sorry Buffy, I can't help it- when I see you I just lose all focus and just want to kiss you"

"But we're not together-"

"But to me, we are. I'm sorry I've screwed up and came back, obviously you don't want me here, but you have no idea what it's like to know that you've lost the most important person in your life, the one that you love, in the space of a few hours"

Buffy stood up, eyes glazing.

"Have no idea?! What, so the past three years being a hell-like torment doesn't mean anything compared to your own selfish pain? Watching you destroy and kill my friends never hurt me one bit? Having to kill you and watch you leave my life knowing I'll never have you again…"

She trailed off, tears coming freely now. She didn't care for his problems at that moment- why should she when he accused her of not knowing what it felt like to be in love. What, he assumed they broke up a year ago because of a personality clash? He had no idea. None.

Angel, scared, tried to hold her, but she took two steps back.

"I'm sorry, Buffy, I should have thought. I know I don't know what you've been through, maybe I should but I don't. I want to. What happened?"

He tried hard to remember that night, but drew a blank once again. He felt a sickness in his stomach when Buffy had told him he'd killed her friends. What did that mean? …Jenny? No, h- he would never… Angel realised that the information he was about to learn would shape his entire destiny. That is, it'd already had.

Buffy wiped her eyes and controlled herself.

"Sorry" she whispered "I over-reacted, you've got amnesia. Guess you get away with speaking your mind until it all comes back to you."

Suddenly, spending time with old Angel wasn't as fun. He told her he still loved her, and although she had waited a year to hear that, it didn't mean anything near as much as if the Angel that had left her had said it. This Angel was innocent to it all, but she wasn't anymore, and she wanted 'her' Angel back.

"Lets go to the factory" she said, sniffing. "Spike is waiting for us"

"Spike?! He really is alive?"

"In a sense" she smiled.

Angel thought better than to ask why she knew where Spike lived but hadn't staked him yet. As they closed the door behind them, he finally asked the question that had been on his mind all day.

"Did I turn evil?"

"Yes, but you're not anymore"

He felt himself sink into the ground. The one thing he vowed never to be again- no wonder Buffy reacted that way.

Jenny…

Angel never felt more disgusted or alone.

Buffy held onto his hand for comfort.

Go to Part 4