Alone Once Again

Alone Once Again

Rating: R
Summary: Angelus feels Buffy's pain and goes to her...
Spoilers: I don't think so...but then I don't think, come to think of it...
Disclaimer: If I owned them don't you think that I'd have gotten Buffy and Angel back together by now...hmm? And the song is 'Crash & Burn' by Savage Garden - Affirmation
Note: This story takes place back in season 2 when Angelus was still around, but with no particular tie-in...

Buffy stalked out of the library, furious with her friends...and hurt at the same time. She had been caught coming out of Angel's apartment, mere moments after Angelus himself had left.

Willow and Xander had said that they had only gone there too check on her, going there as a last resort when they didn't find her anywhere else. But Buffy knew the truth, Xander had followed her, and had called Willow when he had witnessed what had occurred between she and Angelus.

Why did they always have to dictate her life? Why couldn't she just this once, do something just for herself and not have to clear it through Giles and the rest of them? Why couldn't they just trust her, or at the very least, try to understand what she was going through...?

Buffy came across a very unlucky bunch of vampires. This wasn't a good night to try and fight the Slayer, she was hurt and angry, not a good combination. She took it out on them, one after the other, turning to dust until each and every one of them was gone.

She looked around at the piles of ashes surrounding her and just broke down crying, for she was alone once again, with nothing but her thoughts and emotions for company...

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find release and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like
you can't take any more

She sat there in the cold, damp grass, wondering if the rest of the world blamed her for everything as well...but that was stupid, the world didn't even know she existed, let alone that demons did.

She grimaced. This was one of the times when she would have gone running to Angel, needing to feel his arms around her. He had never judged her, he just held her, knowing exactly what she needed, but this time, Angel wasn't there.

His alter ego was the problem. If Angel hadn't left her, hadn't become Angelus, everyone wouldn't hate her. No, she didn't...couldn't regret what they had done, either time. She loved him, even his demon, and she knew that both sides of him felt the same...

She felt the despair wash over her, the need to see him, to feel his cold arms holding her close, embracing her pain into him...

Angelus...

Angelus....

He could hear her calling to him...there was no way he could resist the need, the desperation, the absolute loneliness he felt in her call.

It had only been fourteen hours since he had left her in his old apartment, but it had felt like years. Years, thinking about her, wanting to know if she missed him and longed for his touch as much as he longed for hers...

Angelus groaned. If anyone found out about his need for the Slayer, he would be finished as the Scourge Of Europe. As much as he loved Buffy, he also loved being a vampire. But at the moment, Buffy needed him.

He would find her, then he would make sure she was all right. But this time, he would get out of Sunnydale before it was too late. He'd made a vow not to turn her, but to still find a way to make her his eternally. He would do that. As a Slayer, she didn't have much time left, so it was up to him to find a way before it was Buffy's turn to die...

In the meantime, he let his instincts guide him to where his beloved Slayer sat sobbing her heart out...

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

He was there somewhere. She could feel him getting closer. Was he there to kill her? Had it come to that already? She didn't want to look up at him in case she was right.

Suddenly, she felt his hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him. She saw the same thing she had seen last night. His love. But this time, his eyes were touched with concern. Concern for her...

Her heart soared. He still cared! He hadn't abandoned her just because she was his enemy! In some ways, he was still her beloved Angel...

Angelus could feel her loneliness seep out of her. He was glad that his being there could help her so much. He gently helped her to stand, leading her back to her house, her room. He had to make sure that she was okay, that she wouldn't do anything rash or stupid, because soon he would tell her that he was leaving for a while...

He helped her into her bed, laying himself beside her, positioning himself behind her so that her could envelope her in his strong arms.

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
and when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again

He held her close for the rest of the night. He made her undersigned his decision to leave for parts unknown, even to him.

The tears that had formed in her eyes at his words nearly undid him. Even as a demon, he could still feel her pain. He was getting too soft. He hardened his resolve and just told her that he was leaving and would come back when the time was right.

His attitude hurt her more than anything else had. His voice gentled when he realized how he sounded to her. He would be back as soon as he finished some business, he told her. It may take years, but he would come back to her.

Forever would they keep each other in their hearts, always knowing that the other was thinking of them. Never would they be alone as long as they still loved each other...

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Once again he walked out the door, but this time, he wouldn't be around when she needed to be held into the night. But he would leave his soul there. Angel wouldn't leave her on her own and Angelus knew that he would look after Buffy, telling Angelus if anything major happened to her.

It was his way of showing his love, leaving her his soul. She'd be safe until the day he returned to Sunnydale for her AND his soul, Angel.

This time, she WOULDN'T be alone...

Until next time...

The End

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