Summary: Set approx. 2 years after the Scooby gang's collegegraduation. Buffy had left soon after, and hasn't been back since. Until a friend's upcoming marriage, brings everyone back for theevent.
Disclaimer: Ain't mine. Not going to pretend they are; cuz if they were, they wouldn't have so much angst in their lives. Everything would be the way I wanted it to be. (Which is why I writethis stuff!) Anyone you don't recognize is the product of my wacky mind.
Note: I set upon this intending it to be a happy fic.which it very well might end up to be as soon as it allows me to get back on track. I swear, this thing just took on a life of itself as soon as I started to write it.
Feedback: Yes please! Everyone has been great...but this is for thisstory! I'll threaten joss for it...just for you!
Distribution: Ask first.
Rating: Pretty basic um, pg-13 I guess. There is stronger language andstuff in the later parts. Nothing too bad.

May 30, 2005

"Hello, I'm Monica Whitmore, and you're watching EntertainmentNow. In the headlines tonight, we have just gotten news that Oscar winner Cordelia Chase is leaving the single scene soon. In a recently published press release, the famous actress, who won her award 2 years ago for her part in Midnight Hands, just announced that she is soon to marry her longtime boyfriend. The pair is planning to wed in Ms. Chase's hometown ofSunnydale, surrounded by friends and family. Oz of the Dingoes, one of Ms. Chase's longtime friends since high school, is just one of the many stars that will be in attendance. We wish Ms. Chase and her fiancee the best of luck."

The phone rang in the small flat in London, and a blonde head satup slightly on the couch, reaching a slim hand to the handset on the table above her head. "Hullo?"

"Buffy? Did I wake you? I thought I had the timing right, damn, I can call back."

"Willow? It's all right. It's only 10. I was watching TV. What's going on?"

"Nothing really, we're just getting ready for the wedding. I can't believe you're going to be here next week!"

Buffy grinned and sat up more fully against the armrest of the couch, pulling the bright blanket draped over the back of the couch onto her legs. "I know. I've missed everyone so much. I can't believe its been almost 2 years."

"We've all missed you Buffy. But it was worth it, right?"

"Yea," came the soft reply. "I just, I couldn't be there anymore,ya know? Too much history staring me in the face. Mocking me with what I no longer had."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, we never held it against you for leaving. We could see it affecting you."

"I looked that bad!?"

"No its just.hey!" Willow giggled. "Have you heard from Xander?"

"Not since Christopher's birthday last month," she replied, speaking of her godson, Xander and Anya's 4 year old. "Why?"

"Anya's pregant."

"Really?! That's great! I know they've been wanting another one. Ever since his promotion to major last year, I know they've been trying."

"Don't I know it. I live down the block from those two. I'm one of their closest friends. I get their complaints."

Buffy gave a short muffled laugh. "I pity you. Maybe I should just stay here with the Brits."

"You wouldn't dare! Cordy would kill you! You should see her, she's all nervous. She only calms down when Doyle is around. Its soo cute!"

Buffy grinned and shook her head, looking at the time. "All right,I've got to go. I'll see everyone when I get in on Monday. You can give me the gossip then."

"All right. How long are you planning on staying?"

"I'm not sure. Hopefully a while, but it just depends on how I'm feeling. I got an open-ended return ticket."

"Understood. I'll see you at the airport then?"

"Yup. Give everyone my love for me? Bye Wills."

Placing the phone back, the 24 year old retired slayer got off the couch, flipping the TV off and headed for her room. Once there, she opened her closet, and pulled out an old, worn, leather jacket. His jacket. She hadn't seen him in over 5 years. Not since the Thanksgiving he'd come to watch her, having been told that she was in trouble, and she had gone to confront him at his office in LA. She'd attempted to move on after that, and she'd thought she'd found someone in Riley Finn, the T.A. she'd been involved with up until the middle of her sophomore year, but it hadn't worked out. She'd given up the dating scene then, focusing on her schoolwork, friends, and slaying. She'd had a positive experience after that, graduating top in her class with a Psychology degree and a minor in English. However, everyday, she had felt a part of her dying.

So soon after graduation, and after Willow and Oz's small wedding,she'd packed up her cherished items and had left Sunnydale in the hands of the newest Slayer that Giles had found and was training. Although the Hellmouth had been closed permanently, ever since her junior year of college, Slayers were still being trained to take care of any residual effects. She just hadn't been able to stay there anymore. Giles and her mom had gotten married and were raising 3 year old twins as well as taking care of the orphaned slayer. Xander and Anya, who had been married since her sophomore when Anya had gotten pregnant, were raising their own family, Xander having joined the army and quickly climbing the ranks. And with Willow and Oz married, she had just had to leave. Giles and surprisingly her mom as well, had understood, and had given her a plane ticket to Europe to spend the summer.

The plan had originally been to come home in the fall. She'd spent time in France, Spain, and Italy, and had been in Greece when the summer had come to a close. For the first time in nearly about 6 years she'd been somewhat happy with who she was, so she'd told them that she wanted to do some more traveling, and just never got around to coming home. After a year of hopping from city to city and country to country, she'd finally settled in her London flat. She had a few friends here, mainly just people who lived in her apartment building with her and familiar faces at the local pub. None of them however, were allowed to get too close.

She didn't have any full time job, she'd gotten into writing in college when she'd taking creative writing as an elective. Her professor had sent in all the final stories to an editor friend of hers,and the editor had been extremely interested in her adventure story loosely based on her own adventures. After Willow's encouragement, she'd sent in a more thorough manuscript on a whim. It had been published, and she'd been asked to make it into aseries. She made enough that she was able to live above how she lived, but she liked her life simple and uncomplicated.

Even so, she did miss her friends and family. She talked to everyone about every other month or so, but it was no substitute for seeing them in real life. Only 2 from her old group she'd seen in past years. Oz she'd seen more than anyone really; his band taking him on tour through Europe. Then there was Cordelia, whohad stayed with her when she'd had a shoot on location. And now, she was going back for Cordelia's wedding to Doyle,the half demon that she'd met twice, the first time when she'd gone to Los Angeles, the second when he'd came to surprised Cordy on her shoot.

Part 2

"Have a nice day," said the flight attendants as Buffy stepped from the plane and descended the steps to the warm Sunnydale sun. Pausing at the bottom, she surveyed the small group gathered near the terminal.

"Buffy!"

"Willow!" Grinning, Buffy raced to her friend. Hugging theredhead, Buffy then pulled back. "Good lord you're huge!"

"What do you expect? I'm 6 months pregnant." Willow's smile was bright as she tucked her arm in Buffy's. "You by the way, look fantastic. I'm jealous. I'd love to be thin again."

Buffy stifled a giggle, knowing that it was the hormones talking. "Thanks Wils. How's Cordy doing?"

"She's more nervous than she was before the Oscars. The unflappable Cordy sure can be flappy. She's afraid Doyle will change his mind."

Buffy made a snort of disbelief. "Him? Yeah right. He's been in love with her since he first saw her."

"Doyle is almost as bad. You knew he was married before right?"

"I think Cordy mentioned it. Something about him finding out about his hidden side and afraid of its affect on his wife?"

"Bout it. He's afraid his heritage makes him not good enough forher. Huh. Like that matters. I'm a Wicca, my husband is a werewolf, and I'm friends with an ex vengeance demon, a witch and atamed vampire. Not to mention a Slayer who was in love with a souled...Oh Buffy.I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Don't worry about it," replied Buffy, shaking her head. "Its been 5 years. I've come to terms with it."

The two were quiet until they reached the car, Buffy having no luggage other than her two carry-ons. Willow broke the comfortable silence as she pulled out of the parking lot. "So did you decide where you're staying? Giles' and your mom's, Xander's, Spike's, Cordy's, or mine?"

"Um, actually Wil, I had Cordy find me a short term rent. I don't know how long I'm staying, and I've been on my own for so long."

"Oh. Well, I understand that. You're welcome whenever, you know that. Hey, I just realized, you sound like Giles!"

"Do I? How scary is that?" Buffy smiled. "Oh, good lord, look at the school."

Willow slowed down as they passed the old high school. Most of the wreckage had been taken away, except for a few arches and stuff that were still standing. "Do you want me to stop?"

Buffy shook her head. Her eyes trailing over the area. It looked like a plaque had been put in. "Nah, its okay. Its just weird seeing it like that. That place still gives me the wiggage, evenif the hellmouth is closed permanently."

******

"Damn it Angel! You promised Doyle. I don't care if you're human now or not. I'm so going to stake your ass if you're not there tonight!" Cordelia Chase threatened into the phone.

"Cordy, its just.."

"No duh Angel. She's going to be there. She's my maid of honor. So what? I think its been wrong of you not telling her. You're going to have to face her sooner or later. Which means tonight,at the rehearsal."

"Cordy, you promised you wouldn't tell."

"And I'm going to keep that promise. I've been friends with you for over 6 years! I'm not going to tell, even if she is my best friend. Now get over yourself. There is to be no brooding at my wedding. You got that? Good. I'll see you tonight."

*******

"Slayer!"

Buffy grinned as she entered the church. Despite having been mortal enemies at one time in their life, she and Spike had grown to be good friends over the years. "Hey Spike."

The blonde vampire still looked the same, and he pulled her into a hug, then stepped back to look at her. "You're a bloody bombshell! A little thin for my tastes.."

Buffy shook her head. "Thanks, I think. Hey Amy."

"Hi Buffy. Ignore him, I think he had some bad blood," Amy said,hugging her friend. Amy had been changed back from rat form their second semester of freshman year, and had gotten involved with Spike the next year.

"Buffster!" Xander's voice echoed in the church as he entered. Xander, despite being a major in the Army, complete with buzzed hair, had never really grown up. Buffy gave a muffled groan as her friend smothered her in a hug.

"Hey Xan. Anya. Willow told me the news, congrats." Smiling, she hugged the woman, once demon, into a quick hug before looking down. "Christopher!" Buffy smiled, picking up the four year old toddler.

"Buffy!"

"Mom," Buffy's voice was warm as she was embraced, Chris still in her arms, by her mother. "Where are the terrible twosome?"

Joyce Giles laughed, brushing a piece of hair back from her daughter's slim face. "They're outside with Lanie. She seems to be the only one that has their energy. You look wonderful honey."

"Thanks Mom. Where's Giles?"

"With the priest. He's very glad you're home Buffy."

"See Cordy, she's here." Willow's voice carried over the chattering as she, Cordelia, and Oz entered. Cordelia seemed almost pale.

"Buffy. Thank God." Cordelia began to ramble in an un-Cordy likefashion.

Buffy, after hugging the three newcomers, glanced at Oz, who put itin simple terms. "Pre-wedding jitters."

Buffy grinned and began to calm Cordy down, Christopher still in her arms, until she felt a tingling feeling at the back of her mind and a fluttering in her stomach. She trailed off as she searched the shadows of the church. Her breath caught as he appeared, followed by Doyle, Giles and a priest. Her mom was next to her in a moment, laying a hand on her arm. "Are you okay honey?"

Buffy didn't hear her. She didn't see anyone but him. God, it hurt to see him. Every particle of her soul was crying out at his proximity after five years of separation. He looked the same. Possibly a year or two older, but she knew it was impossible for vampires to age in looks. Even so, he was still handsome. His tall figure and broad shoulders were clothed in his traditional dark pants, but a light weight, grey blue sweater was paired with it,lighting his pale, chiseled face and dark hair. Her gaze caught his dark eyes, and she seemed to stop breathing.

****

Angel had sensed her just before he'd stepped into the church. His soul seemed to rejoice just at seeing her again, and every one of his instincts were ordering him to go to her. It had been so long since he'd been near her, let alone touch her. He'd spent the past 5, almost 6, reliving the one day as a human that he had spent with her. Knowing that she was studying him, he absorbed the details of her appearance.

She'd always been beautiful, but the maturity she'd gained with age made her that much more beautiful. She'd gotten noticeably thinner, and he had a feeling that his hands would now be able to almost touch if he put his hands on her waist. Her blonde hair was straight and long, falling below her shoulders. Her thin frame was clothed in a dark blue peasant skirt, contrasted by a lighter blue tank that played off tan skin, although she hadn't been a California girl in years.All occupants of the church were watching them, the tension almost visible, crackling, in the air around them. Buffy broke the gaze first, placing her godson back down and turning to hug Lanie and her half brother and sister as they came in from outside. Angel bowed his head, dejectedly, and the girls shared knowing looks with each other.

****

Buffy kneeled in one of the back pews, staring up at the altar. The wedding rehearsal had ended, and everyone but her had left. After the incident when she'd jumped at Angel's touch as he'd taken her arm to follow Cordy and Doyle down the aisle, she had felt the need to be alone. She'd felt him stiffen as they'd touched as well. Had he truly moved on? She remembered something about a woman on the LAPD, but she thought Cordy had said it hadn't been anything. And she hadn't been very comfortable by his touch, but that was with any man that got too close without her expecting it. He'd tried to talk to her after, but she'd mumbled an excuse, running away from the pain that was tearing her in two.

"Are you all right my dear?" asked a soft, gentle voice.

Buffy looked up, startled, to face Father Callahan, the priest who was to perform the ceremony. "Father. You startled me."

"I'm sorry about that. Are you all right? Your friends left quite a while ago."

Buffy sat back, folding her hands in her lap. "I've been better,but I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"My dear," replied the priest with a chuckle. "Listening to other people's problems is one of my main tasks. So what is it that's bothering you? Does this have anything to do with that best man?"

"How did you.?"

"Its not part of my job description if that's what you wanted to know." He sat down beside her. "No, what I saw between the two of you, anyone could see. So the question is, why are you hereand not with him?"

"We've tried it before. Never worked out. There are,circumstances, that keep us apart. And seeing him again.its painful. I'm tempted to go home."

"I have a feeling you're not one to run away. You seem to strong willed for that."

"My will deteriorated a while ago. When he told me what was best for me and left. It got to the point that I ran away to escape the pain."

"My dear, if you two love each other enough, that love will find away to work out. Have faith in God."

"I think I lost my faith when he left."

"God always has a plan my dear. As for now, I believe. I shall see you tomorrow."

Nodding, Buffy left the church, intent on going to the bachlorette party being held at Willow's, and leaving early.

Part 3

Cordelia was pacing furiously up and down the length of the room that had been given to her and her attendants to use. She and Buffy were the only ones there at the moment, as Willow and Anya had gone up to see how things were going. The one of a kind dress was hanging in the corner, ready for the bride to put it on. So Buffy watched as her best friend, her hair pulled up into a pile of curls that began to tumble down her nape, her make up perfectly applied, marched around the room, dressed only in her underwear, and a silk kimono loosely tied around her waist.

"Cordy, calm down. Everything is going to be fine. Doyle is not going to stand you up, no mater what you may think." Buffy got up and moved to the vanity table, bringing out her makeup bag. She was in the middle of reapplying her mascara when Anya and Willow burst into the room, giggling like school girls.

"Do you know who we just saw?" squealed Willow.

"Matt Damon!"

"And Ben Affleck!"

Cordelia laughed. "Well of course they're here. They've been good friends since I worked on Midnight Hands with them."

"I don't think I'm going to be able to get used to this," sighed Willow.

Buffy grinned. "How's it looking?"

"Joyce and Giles just arrived. Kenneth looks so cute in that little suit!" cooed Willow.

"I'm not going to argue with you, Willow," laughed Joyce, who had just entered with Kendra, who was to be the flower girl, by the hand. "All right girls, its an hour till the ceremony. I think you should all get dressed."

Buffy and the bridesmaids nodded, agreeing. Anya and Willow pulled off the button down shirts and shorts they'd thrown on, and Buffy untied her robe, and they each reached for the pale green dresses. The style was a simple floor length empire waisted dress, with thin straps holding up the dress. It was perfect to hide Willow's swollen stomach and for the slight weight gain that Anya had experienced being 3 months pregnant. On Buffy, the folds of the fabric turned from helpfully hiding to sensuous.

Then the women turned to Cordy to help her into the Vera Wang original. It was a beautiful piece, the strapless white silk clinging tightly in the bodice, letting out enough for Cordy to be able to walk and dance comfortably as it ended on the floor, a large gather of tucks and folds falling down the back. Buffy then carefully stood on a chair to allow her to pin Cordelia's veil into the pile of curls.

"All right, do you have everything?" asked Joyce.

"I don't know.my bouquet?"

"Here you go," said Anya, handing her the large grouping of pale pink roses.

"Something blue?" asked Joyce.

"My garter," replied the bride, lifting up her skirt enough to show the blue lace that encircled her upper thigh. "And my dress is new, my earrings are old. Something borrowed! I need something borrowed!"

"Calm down Cordy," soothed Buffy, reaching to undo the clasp of the delicate silver chain that had been clasped around her neck. A small locket in the shape of a circle hung from it. "You can borrow this. I want it back before you leave for the honeymoon though. I haven't taken it off since the gang got it for me for graduation."

Cordelia curiously opened the clasp, showing the two pictures thatwere placed within. One was from shortly after graduation of high school, the other was from one of the times Cordelia and Doyle had come to Sunnydale, without Angel, with the rest of the college gang. Cordelia visibly fought back tears as Buffy clasped it for her. When Buffy pulled back, Cordelia embraced her friend. "Thanks Buffy."

Buffy fought back her own tears. "No problem. We better be careful, I don't think Doyle is going to want to wait for us to reapply our makeup."

Angel took his place next to Doyle, a small grin on his face as the man fidgeted nervously. Xander and Oz, who stood beside him, shared a knowing look, just as the doors opened to the front of the church and Christopher, the ring bearer, came down the center aisle of the small church, which was decorated in pale green and pale pink streamers of cloth and flowers. The aisle was floored in a white carpet. Kenneth and Kendra were next,Kenneth escorting the flower girl down the carpet. A young girl in a pale pink dress, long, with an empire waist, with short brown hair came next, Lanie. Anya was next, followed by Willow, and then Buffy. All were in the green dress of the bridesmaid,each carrying small bouquets of white rosebuds, except Buffy, who had a cluster of pink. He faintly recognized the fact that Cordelia was close behind, being led down the aisle by Giles, the group's surrogate father, having led each of the married girls down the aisle, to the tune of the wedding march.He paid less attention to the ceremony than he should have, being that Doyle was his best friend, but his whole being was focused on Buffy. She'd been so beautiful coming down that aisle, and he had been bombarded with the memory of a past dream he'd had of Buffy coming down an aisle toward him.

Before he knew it, the vows were over, and Cordelia and Doyle were embracing to the cheers of the guests. As they broke, Father Callahan announced the new couple, who then led the attendants back down the aisle and into the dusky night, under a shower of birdseed.

Buffy stepped from the dance room of the Bronze, where the partying was being held. Having grown even more in popularity, the Bronze had expanded some years ago, adding a room for receptions and such, but still managing to keep its familiar shadowed atmosphere. Although this Bronze for the wedding resembled nothing of the Bronze she remembered. Silver stars and streamers hung from the ceiling, and the black curtains on the stage where the Dingoes played, had been replaced by white ones. An ice sculpture of an angel, complete with halo, was placed behind the counter where the wedding cake stood.

For almost an hour she had tried to ignore the fact that Angel was sitting just 3 seats away from her at the head table. He'd made his speech, a very touching and moving one, even if most of those at the dinner weren't clued into the group's colorful past. After eating the five star meal, only the best for the world-famous actress and her friends, the whole congregation of about 350, moved into the next room for cake and a glamorous evening of dancing.

At first it had been fun, as she and the girls gathered together,watching as their favorite actors and actresses, directors and famous names let loose on the dance floor. But then, she'd been left alone as the Dingoes had relinquished the stage to another band, and Oz and the other men came to claim their wives or girlfriends for a dance. She'd danced a couple of songs with Giles and then Spike and Xander, and had even been able to accept some from Ryan Phillipe, Ben Affleck, Harrison Ford, John Travolta and some other actors that after her initial nervousness,she'd had a good time with. The whole time though, she avoided Angel. She didn't think Cordelia would appreciate her ruining her perfect day with melodrama.

Taking a deep breath, she leaned against the cool wall, slowly sliding to sit on the ground, ignoring the fact that she was probably wrinkling her dress like crazy. It was only then that she realized that the room wasn't empty.

"God forbid she knows! How do you think she's going to feel when she finds out you've been hiding this for almost 2 years?"

"I can't."

She knew those voices. Cordelia and Angel. What were they talkingabout? Her?

"Why not? She's here; you're here. Seems like the perfect time tome."

"It's complicated. She's settled and happy in her life. She doesn't need me back in it."

"You must be blind then, if you think she's happy Angel. She's farfrom it. The only way she's ever going to be truly happy is if you're back in her life. So deal with that fact and tell her."

"Cor, she flinched from my touch at the rehearsal. I don't think you're right."

Cordelia's voice lost its exasperated quality. "Angel, she's had some bad experiences with men over the years. And that was the first time you two had touched since when? Graduation?"

"Technically."

"Then that reaction is expected. I'm telling you this because I love you Angel. You either tell her that you regained your humanity, or, I don't care if it is my business or not, I'm going to clue her in."

Human. The word stunned her. Angel was human; but how? And for two years? She'd left the country to escape the past, to escape being so close to him, and he was human? A surge of anger surfaced, and she barely stopped herself from flying out at him in a blind rage. And from the way that they talked, it wasn't much of a secret, except from her.

Human. Those dreams that she'd been having ever since her freshman year of college, the one where Angel was human. She'd had other dreams of him getting his humanity, but that one series of dreams had always been held close to her heart, even if it was just that, a dream. Suddenly though, she had a flash of insight. Angel had been holding her in his arms, and she was crying, telling him she wouldn't forget. They had happened. She knew with certainty in that one instant that all that she had dreamed had really happened. She'd really heard his heart beat, seen him in the sun, made love to him. The knowledge that she had forgotten momentarily saddened her, but then she realized that he had known. He had known what they had experienced when he'd been turned back to human. And he had neglected to tell her, making a decision for her.

Buffy suddenly felt very, very ill. She wasn't going to be able to stay in Sunnydale any longer. The memories and emotions that had plagued her prior to her departure were back, suffocating her, ten times stronger than before.

"Buffy!"

Buffy looked up, faintly recognizing the bride through a haze of tears. Crying? She was crying? She didn't remember starting. "Where's."

"Oh no. Buffy, did you hear all that? I'm so sorry, I didn't think."

"Where is he."

"He went to look for you."

"I remember Cor."

She understood instantly. "Oh god, Buffy, how long have you known?"

"I just did."

"Are you okay?"

Buffy nodded, not wanting to ruin the day, but Cordy glued her to the spot with a look. Shaking her head, she ran a hand over her cheeks, realizing that she was smearing mascara across them. "No, I'm not. I think I'm going to head home early, all right?"

"Don't you want to see Angel."

"No. Not yet. Maybe not ever." With that, she hugged her friend,and rushed for the back entrance with all the speed of her slaying days.

Once in the parking lot, she calmed down slightly, but just enough to be able to see straight, before she plowed into a tall figure walking toward one of the many expensive parked cars. "Excuse me."

"Buffy?"

Buffy looked up, her cheeks staining a bright pink as she recognized John Travolta standing in front of her, a worried expression on his face. They'd shared a dance earlier, and had struck up a very nice conversation. "Oh, Mr. . . . John, I didn't see you. I'm sorry."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, I'm just not feeling very well. I was just heading out."

"Do you need a ride? I have to been on location by tomorrow, so I was headed to the airport. I can give you a lift if you want."

Airport.

Buffy's earlier decision to leave Sunnydale returned. If she went back to the rent, he'd be there before she was able to pack her stuff up and leave. Trying to give the actor one ofher most charming smiles, she looked at him and nodded. "Sure. Would you mind if I tagged along to the airport? Somewhat of an emergency came up and I need to fly out."

He looked slightly startled, but led her to a rental car, opening the door for her. "You're not even going to change?"

"Are you?"

"Well, I have my own flying license, so no. Where are you goingto?"

"New York, then London."

He was silent for a long while. "I'm flying to New York actually."

"Would you mind terribly if I?"

"Of course not. Cordelia would never forgive me if I didn't help out her best friend if I was able to."

*********

"She's not here." Angel's voice was hurt, and upset. He came from the back bedroom of Buffy's rented apartment, to look at the group that had tagged along.

After being told by Cordelia that Buffy had overheard their conversation, Angel's first instinct had been to run after her, but had been persuaded by the others to give her time. The Sunnydalers had been shocked, to say the least, to learn that he was human, and they'd been sympathetic to him, even as the wedding celebration had continued. They'd planned to meet at her apartment the next morning, Cordelia having a spare key to the door. And she wasn't there.

"There isn't even any sign that she's been here. Her dress isn'there."

"Is there anywhere else that she may have gone?" asked Lanie, worried about the older woman whom she'd always admired. The adults looked at one another, different ideas running through their minds.

"The cemetery?" suggested Xander half heartedly.

"Angel, maybe your old apartment?" said Willow, a thoughtful look on her face.

Angel looked at the red head, startled. "Why would she go there.after everything."

"I don't think you're going to have to wonder about that Angel,"said Cordelia quietly. "She's not going to be there."

"Do you know where she is? Why didn't you tell me!"

"Angel, I just realized. Last night she said she going to head home early. I just assumed that this is what she meant. But it wasn't . This isn't home for her. I think she's gone to."

"London.

Part 4

An incessant pounding on her front door forced Buffy to stumble to her feet. After five minutes of laying on her couch, holding her hands to her head, hoping whoever it was would give up and go away, she'd given up. After taking a redline out of New York, she'd come straight back to her flat.well, after walking the dusky streets of London, and buying a good amount of alcohol. Her drinking binge had ended late last night, or early this morning, after she'd finished off her second bottle of Jack Daniels. Needless to say, she had a horrendous hangover, which didn't couple well with the extreme depression she had found herself in halfway over the Atlantic.

Cursing as she banged her shin on the coffee table, she continued on the way to the door, her fingers clumsy as they fumbled with the locks. "What the fuck." Her words trailed off as she blinked,trying to make sense of the bleary figure in front of her. Angel. With a cry of rage, she swung at him, which lucky for him went wild, but unluckily for her, connected with the steel door frame, leaving her knuckles bruised and bloody. She grimaced, then moved back into her dark flat, leaving the door open as she headed to the kitchen. If she wasn't mistaken, she'd bought 3 bottles of the liquor. She understood now her mother's need for the liquid. Jack Daniels was very nice to her when everything else in her life seemed out of control.

Finding the bottle, she twisted the top off and raised the bottle toher lips. If she had anything to thank from being the Slayer, it was her ability to consume large levels of alcohol that would kill anormal human and only get a hangover. Suddenly though, the bottle was yanked from her hands, splashing liquid on her and on thetiled floor.

Angel couldn't believe it. He'd come here expecting to find ahurt, depressed, and somewhat angry woman, to find a depressed drunk shadow of the woman he'd seen just 2 days ago, in control of her life. Buffy had come to the door, dressed in lounge pants, a ratty tee shirt, and a bathrobe. Her long hair was greasy and pulled into a messy ponytail.

Her apartment was dark as he closed the door behind him, following Buffy as she weaved her way to somewhere in her flat. He found her in the kitchen, a bottle almost to her lips, and he reacted, pulling it away from her. "Buffy what the hell do you think you're doing?" he lashed out, throwing the bottle away from her. Faintly he realized that it had smashed against the wall, the amber liquid running down sunny yellow walls.

Bleary, teary eyes looked up at him, red-rimmed from crying. "What the hell does it look like? I'm old enough to do whatever I want Angel. I don't need your approval. In fact, I don't remember inviting you in. If you're going to criticize me, get the hell out of here!"

"Buffy, you're a mess."

"Well, what did you expect after finding out that you'd been human for 2 years! Did you expect me to just forgive you? I've changed Angel. I'm not the girl you knew. I've moved on. Like you wanted me to. I have my fucking normal life. And I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with it."

"Buffy please."

"Uh uh. You gave up all right to a say in my life when you walked out of it remember? You didn't want to be part of a freak show."

Angel's face twisted in agony. "Oh god. Buffy. Please."

"Forget it Angel. Just go. I have my new life. I'm happy. Can'tyou see? I'm just ecstatic!" She pushed passed him, trying to hold the tears back as they began to flow down her flushedcheeks. Pushing past him had left her unbalanced, and she sunk to the floor and gave into her tears.

Angel's face was hurt and saddened. It seemed that no matter whathe did, he just ended up hurting her. How could he expect to just walk back into her life and be welcomed with open arms? He'd thought he'd been forgiven and had redeemed himself when he'd been turned human, but if Buffy was unable to forgive him, then he hadn't really been redeemed. Giving one last look to the crying woman, he stepped from the kitchen. "All right. I'll go. Good bye Buffy."

He walked past her, steeling his heart for the heartbreak he knew was coming. He had never in his life ever said goodbye to her. And he knew, if he walked out that door, he'd never see her again.

Buffy must have realized that too, because her tears suddenly gotharder, shaking her small frame even more. His name was spoken in gasping breath. "Ple.ase.Angel.."

With quick stride he was beside her on the floor, gathering her frame into his warm embrace. "Shh.it's going to be all right love. I promise. I'm sorry."

They sat there for a long while as Buffy's sobs quieted and she began to hiccup. Angel easily stood, carrying her to the bathroom, where he turned on the shower head, testing the water to get it to a good warm temperature. Gently he undid the loose knot holding her robe at her waist, then slid the sleeves down, letting the terry cloth material pool on the floor. Hitching his breath, telling himself that now was not the time to let his passion overwhelm him, reminding himself of the half drunk, tired woman before him, who barely seemed to register what he was doing. Untying the ties that cinched her pants to her waist, he supported her as she silently stepped from them, then as she raised her arms, he slid the tee shirt off, unsuccessfully averting his gaze as she unsnapped her front catch bra, and stepped from her underwear.

He told himself that if now was ever a time to practice that control of his, this would be it, as he helped her to stand under the soothing stream of water. Buffy simply stood there, making no move for the washcloth or the shampoo. Sighing, wondering if the Powers that Be were for some reason testing him again, he slipped his own shirt off, as he reached in and helped her to wash. She relaxed under his gentle touch, her eyes going to half mast as he helped to rinse the suds from her hair. Finally, after what had to be the longest 5 minutes in his long life, Angel turned the water off and enfolded Buffy in one of the large fluffy towels that were neatly folded in the closet.

Carrying her to the bedroom, he sat her down on the large bed as he headed to her dresser, telling himself there was no reason to be embarrassed as he pawed through her drawers, looking for a nightgown. One was finally found, at the back of her dresser drawer, a knee-length cotton nightshirt, that he helped to slip over her head before he tucked her under the covers of her bed.

He'd turned to go, intent on cleaning up the mess in the kitchen,when Buffy reached out to him, softly calling his name. Unable to deny her, he took her hand and slid into bed beside her, where she instantly curled up beside him, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder. She was asleep in moments, the combined effect of alcohol and weariness taking their toll. Angel however, was up for much longer.

Part 5

The late afternoon light hit her eyes, and Buffy groaned, squeezingthem shut. Her head was pounding, and she felt like she was about to throw up at any moment. Rolling over, she began to pull the blankets over her head, until she stilled, the memories from the night before rushing back to her. She'd been drinking and there had been someone at the door.Angel!

He'd been about to leave.He'd said good-bye, something that even her alcohol filled mind had known that he'd never said to her before. She'd cried out, and he'd been there, holding her,rocking her. He'd gotten her cleaned up and then carried her to bed, and when she'd reached to him, he'd climbed into bed with her. Her eyes opened fully, avoiding the windows which were open, the curtains fluttering lightly in the soft wind. Confused,she looked around the bedroom, not seeing him at all.

Panicking that he had really left her, she got up, taking a moment as the world spun at her feet. As soon as it had slowed some, she made for the hallway, slowing as she heard the soft sounds ofhis voice, coupled with movements from the kitchen. Buffy stopped at the edge of the hallway, looking over her flat. All the windows were opened, the curtains tied back, as bright London sun shown into the room. The kitchen, only half visible over the counter top and the doorway, had the smell of strong coffee coming from it. Angel finally came into her line of vision, a mug in his hand and the cordless phone balanced between his shoulder and his ear.

"Angel?"

He looked up, a half smile appearing on his face. "She's up. We'll call you later. Bye."

"Who was that?" she asked as he stepped from the kitchen, leaning on the doorway.

"Cordy." He took a sip from the mug before speaking again. "How are you feeling? Do you want some coffee?"

Buffy offered him a weak smile. "Please." Walking slowly, she moved to the couch and sat down, tucking her feet under her. Angel came back out a few moments later, carrying two mugs in one hand, and a bottle of Advil in the other. "Thanks."

He sat down at the other end of the couch, and there was an uncomfortable silence as they both sat, looking at anything but the other, sipping their coffee. Angel finally broke it, but avoided the topic that really needed to be talked about. "I like your place."

"Um, thank you. I like it too." She offered a shrug with one shoulder. "Its nice to have something just of mine." She paused, then spoke again. "Why are you here?"

"Buffy, you left pretty quickly. You didn't give me much of a chance to explain."

"No. I didn't. But you've had two years, Angel. Why keep your silence?"

"You were happy, at least that's what I thought. Then Cor pushed the idea that you weren't through my head." He set his mug on the coffee table in front of the couch, and rested his elbows on his knees, his hands dangling between them. "It happened about a week before you were scheduled to come home. I still don't know exactly why, but Whistler said that it had to do with me having my redemption. I was going to tell you when you got back, but then you'd decided that you were going to stay over here. Cordy told me to go to you, but I refused, thinking that you were happy where you were if you weren't coming home. I didn't want to ruin that happiness that you'd found."

Tears were silently falling down her cheeks, realizing that if she'd come home...they'd lost two years. "Angel, I stayed here, because I couldn't go back. That's the reason I left in the firstplace. I couldn't stay there and remember. I thought that if I left, it would be easier to forget. And it was at times. And I was, am, somewhat happy here. No one knew of my past, what I'd done. I was just Buffy Summers. I liked it like that." She paused, gazing out the window. "But back in Sunnydale, I had all the memories mocking me of what I couldn't have. And the others all had their happy little lives. But they all sort of pitied me. I just couldn't take it anymore."

"Buffy."

She interrupted him, her hazel eyes catching his dark ones. "I'mnot going to pretend I'm not hurt that you didn't tell me, `cuz I am. But, I think its been long enough, don't you?" His eyes flickered for a moment with disbelief, and he nodded, wordlessly, not moving. "You want to know why. I love you Angel. That's never changed, and it never will. And, you're not the only one who remembers now." She'd gotten up and moved to the window as she'd spoken, and with that last sentence, she'd turned to see the disbelief on his face moments before he'd rushed to her, gathering her up in his arms.

"God, Buffy, I'm so sorry." His words were muffled as he buried his face against her neck, his breath tickling her skin. His arms were tight around her waist, their bodies flush against one another.

Buffy's hands were gentle against his cheeks as she pulled him back to look into her eyes. "Angel, I think we have enough in our past to apologize for. No more regrets please. Let's just do this together. You're staying, right?"

"Nothing could drag me away." His lips captured hers, and the two lovers reveled in the pure bliss that was being together again. They broke apart a few long moments later, both breathless, and Angel leaned his forehead against hers, breathing in the scent that was pure Buffy. "I want to do this right."

Buffy's eyes were already darkened in passion. "Angel. It's been 5 years."

"You think I don't know that? You have no idea how much I want you right now."

Buffy gave a short laugh. "Oh, I think I might."

He grinned, and pressed a kiss to her lips, pulling back before she could make it deeper. "I want to take you out tonight. On a date, with no interruptions about demons or vampires, or the world coming to an end. And I know if I let myself do what I really want to right now, we won't be leaving this apartment for avery long time."

Buffy blushed at that, a bright smile lighting her features. "You're serious. You want to take me out."

"More than anything." He paused, then amended his statement. "Well, more than almost anything."

She giggled, a light, joyous sound, that made his heart pound with love. "All right. Where? And when?"

"So you want to go?" he asked, somewhat disbelieving. A wide smile lightened his features. "Then its a date. Why don't you go get ready then."

Buffy pulled his head down for a quick kiss. "Mmhhmm. Definitely. But what about you?"

"I got a hotel room before coming over last night, just in case. I have some errands to run, but I'll be here at seven to pick you up." He looked at the clock hanging over the kitchen counter. "Its four thirty. How about 7? As for where, leave that to me. And get dressed up. All right?"

part 6

Buffy locked the door after Angel left, pausing to lean against the door with a sigh. Angel was back, and he was staying in her life for good. And he wanted to take her out! Suddenly the reality of having a date for the first time in over 4 years hit her, and she gave a muffled scream as she ran to the bathroom. Putting the stopper in the tub as she let the water fill for a bath, she added in her favourite scented bubble bath. As it filled, she moved around her flat, pouring out the now cold coffee, and making her bed.

By the time those menial tasks were done, the tub was filled to capacity, and stripping her nightgown off, she stepped into the tub, letting the warm bubbles relax her as she pampered herself.

******

Meanwhile, as Buffy got herself ready, Angel had hailed a cab andhad gone back to the hotel he'd gotten a room in, calling Cordelia as soon as he was inside.

"Angel?" Her voice was slightly breathless, and Angel grinned. "Is everything all right?"

"I think so Cor. Listen, I'm sorry about interrupting you again,but I have a question."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Do you know of any restaurant that I can take Buffy to? A nice one. I'm trying to do this right and take her out on a date."

"That is so sweet! So you two finally back together?"

"Yea.uh, the restaurant? I'm picking her up at seven."

"Oh, yeah.um, the Majesty. It's a four star, me and Doyle took her there for her birthday when I was there for a shoot. But what day is it there?"

"Uh, Saturday, why?"

"Its hard to get into if you don't have reservations like months in advance. How about I call and see if I can't sweet talk a nice little table off in some shadowed corner for you at 7:30?"

"That would be great Cor. Thanks. I owe you one."

"Don't worry about it, let's call it even for me letting Buffy run out of there. I'll call you back as soon as I get the what."

"Thanks again Cor. Bye."

As soon as he hung up with the actress, he left the sitting room ofthe room, and took a shower. He was in the middle of shaving, the cream covering half of his face, when the phone rang. Walking to the phone, the towel slung low around his hips, he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Angel, hey, I got the reservation for you, under your name. I also told them to have a bottle of their best champagne chilled for you."

"Thanks Cordy. Do you think you could do me another favor and call the others? Let them know that I found her and that she's fine?"

"I did earlier this afternoon. They're all relieved that you're together. And Joyce said something about being wrong? She said you'd understand."

Angel let out a sigh. "I do. Thanks. Enjoy your honeymoon, and say hi to Doyle. I won't bother you again."

********

Buffy couldn't help grinning like a fool as she stepped into her bedroom, a towel wrapped around her slim figure, and a towel wrapped turban style around her long hair. Heading to her closet, she pushed aside most of her clothes to the back, where the very dress she wanted hung in the plastic bag of the store,the tags still on it. She hadn't known why'd she'd bought it, for she really had no reason to ever where it, but when she'd seen it, she'd known that she'd have to buy it. Now she was glad that she had.

Pulling both the dress and the shoes out, she hung the hanger fromher free standing mirror, throwing the shoes on the bed. Then from her dresser, underwear were pulled out and on, as well as sheer silk stockings. Unwrapping her long hair, she glanced at the clock, knowing that she had just under an hour. Not enough time to let it air dry. Sighing, she went for her hair dryer, quickly turning the dark blonde locks into spun gold.

Not wanting to mess her make-up or hair having to get into the dress, she slipped into it, then moved to the bathroom. Her shadow, mascara and just a touch of tinted lip gloss.

Knowing that she wanted it up, she pulled out her box of hair supplies, plugging the curling iron in as she began to pull her hair up and back in a simple twist. Once her hands were free, a few clear crystal headed pins were strategetically placed. The few tendrils that she left to frame her face were then loosely curled.

Happy with the final result, she stepped into the strappy shoes, buckling them around her ankle. Finally finished, with ten or so minutes to spare, she gave a nod of approval to her reflection. The dress was perfect. It was black, the spaghetti straps standing out against her tan skin. The top was tastefully cut low across her chest. It clung to her curves, falling to loose to just above her ankles. Then, a sheer overlay of grey and sliver, which was tight at the top, but fell loose in a straight line from under her cleavage to just below the hem-line of the underdress. Angel, she hoped, would love it.

As if thinking of him made him appear, there was a knock at her door, and her senses tingled with pure Angel. Unable to wipe the grin off her face, she opened to door to find him standing there, at first with a small smile on his face, then one of open appreciation as she stepped back from the door.

Part 7

"Buffy." His mouth opened and shut a few times before he was able toget anything else out. "You look great."

A faint blush tinted her cheeks, and she moved back into the apartment, as he shut the door behind him and followed her. "Thanks. You look pretty great yourself."

And he did, as usual. He was in black, which wasn't all that unusual, but it was an obviously expensive, tailored, black suit. The jacket clothed his broad shoulders perfectly, falling past the traditional length to mid-thigh, and was buttoned over the crisp white shirt and black tie. His hair was doing that spikey thing sheloved, and she noticed, for the first time, that his sculptured face was lightly tanned.

"These are for you," he said, breaking the silence they'd spentjust looking at each other, pulling out a bouquet of white roses, the petals kissed with pink at the tips.

Buffy gave a gasp of surprise and pleasure, and moved to takethem. "They're gorgeous, Angel. Thank you. I'll put them in water." Taking them, she busied herself filling a vase with them, before joining him again. "So, are you going to tell me where we're going yet?"

Angel grinned and shook his head. "It's a surprise, love." He puta hand to his pocket suddenly. "I almost forgot," he said, pulling out a velvet bag. "Cordy said you'd want this."

A puzzled look on her face, she opened the bag and poured the contents into her hand, smiling as she recognized the trinket. "My locket. I'd forgotten I'd let her borrow it." Handing it to him, she turned. "Will you put it on me, please?"

He complied, his cool fingers, although significantly warmer since they'd last touched, resting lightly on her bare shoulders before pressing a soft kiss to the nape of her neck that made her shiver in delight. She turned, her arms slipping around his neck, as her lips sought his, rewarded with a tender kiss that Angel softly disengaged. "As much as I want to continue that, we have reservations. Are you ready?"

"Just let me get my purse."

Part 8

Buffy slipped from bed, late that night, and moved to the window, drawing back the heavy curtains and looking out onto the sleeping city. Sighing in contentment, she wrapped the sheet more fully around her body. The night had been perfect. Everything she had ever wished for the two of them. After leaving her apartment, they'd taken the grey limo that had been waiting for them to the Majesty. She'd only been there once, with Cordy and Doyle for her last birthday, and she'd fallen in love with the place. Its quiet elegance had stunned her, the simple blue and white color scheme, with sliver and gold embellishments. Heavy crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, softly lighting the romantic setting. She had a funny idea that Angel had called Cordelia for the idea, but she loved him even more for it.

They'd made quite a stir upon their entrance, she'd known, because all the patrons and servers had turned to look at them as they'd been led across the restaurant to a quiet table set in a secluded, romantic corner. She'd known they'd made a striking pair, his tall, muscular form, her small, lithe one. His features were dark and serious, hers were light and smiling.

He'd been the perfect gentleman, pulling out her chair for her at the table. They'd spent three hours, drinking the champagne that he'd ordered, enjoying the delicious food, every once and a while feeding each other what was on their plates. They had talked softly, lightly, speaking of past remembrances, almost oblivious to the sometimes obvious gazes and whispers, contemplating who they were.

Desert had come too quickly for Buffy's liking, having never wanted to leave the quiet romance that was silently enveloping them. However, halfway through the chocolate souffle that they were sharing, Angel had suddenly gotten up to go down on one knee beside her chair. He'd looked like a nervous schoolboy as she'dlooked down on him, shock and waves of happiness competing for her emotions.

"Buffy, I know that we have a lot to work through, but we've beenapart too long for my liking. You've been the one person I've ever loved, and I knew when I first saw you that I'd foundthe one person I'd always want to be with." He had paused then, as Buffy's eyes had begun to fill with tears, and he'dpulled a small velvet box from his jacket pocket. "We've been through a lot together, more than most couples ever have to face. And yet you continue to love me, more than I deserve probably, but that doesn't seem to stop you." She gave a gasp as she recognized the ring as he'd opened the box. "I found this as I was moving out. I didn't know how it had gotten there, but Ikept it, hoping that I would have a right to give it back to you someday. I told you once that the crown stands for loyalty, the hands for friendship and the heart, for, well, love. I offer you all those things again, my loyalty, my friendship, as well as my love, with the knowledge that its going to be better this time around. Will you marry me?"

She hadn't been able to speak, her eyes bright with tears as he'dslipped the ring onto her finger as she'd nodded. Buffy had then looked at her finger, where the ring rested, back where it belonged, and then looked up at Angel, arms outstretched. He'd given a shout of laughter as his arms had encircled her waist, her feet leaving the floor as he'd rained kisses up and down the smooth column of her neck, even as the on lookers had begun to clap in congratulations.

The night had passed by quickly from then on. They'd left the restaurant, arms around one another, to enter the limo again, and had been whisked off to the Royal Hotel, where Angel had brought her up to his room. The lights were dimmed, even as candlelight flickered in the adjoining bedroom. Soft music was playing,and more champagne had been chilling, waiting for them.

She smiled softly at the memory of how Angel had drawn her into hisarms, and how they'd danced slowly in each other's arms, the one place that Buffy felt at peace and whole. He'd led her to the bedroom then, and they'd made love. She felt her heartbeat quicken just at the thought. It had been hard and fast the first time, the years of separation from one another taking control over their libidos. The next few times had been slow and lingering, and Buffy had felt a coming home as they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms.

"Buffy?" Angel's voice was quiet, questioning, as he came up behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind, his head bowing, placing a kiss upon the mark on the side of her neck. "Are you all right?"

She leaned back against his strong chest, arms coming up to rest against his. Closing her eyes, she answered him. "I feel better than I have in a long while Angel. I was just, thinking. I almost can't believe everything that has happened."

"Believe it, my love. I'm never leaving you again. I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

"What a horrible thing to imagine," she replied, tilting her head to capture his lips in a kiss. "I can't believe you proposed."

"I wasn't planning on it so soon. I'd planned that for our second date."

Buffy giggled, turning in his arms so she could look into his eyes. "I'm glad you did."

"So am I." He disarmed her with a full out smile that made her knees go weak. "Come back to bed, my love. We have a long time to make up for."

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