DISCLAIMER: Not mine. I promise to give them back when I'm done. The song Remember Me This Way is performed by Jordan Hill, from the movie Casper.
SPOILERS: Graduation 2 and back
SUMMARY: Grr, my one problem with the season 3 finale, other than it didn't live up to the hype, was that Buffy and Angel never got a proper goodbye. This is my attempt to fix that.
FEEDBACK: Please? This is my first attempt at a sadfic and a songfic, so it would be appreciated.
NOTE: Hehe...I know..I know...i've kinda been flooding the list with fics...but i don't think many of you mind right? Anyway..I have like 3 stories in progress right now...and i'm being flooded with people asking for sequels to my stories...so I'm going to try and do that, since i've pretty much decided on making a fluff series based on my Future Bliss...but i digress...on to the story:

Buffy Summers sat at the group's usual table at the Bronze, looking out onto the dance floor. Everyone from graduation seemed to have had the same idea, everyone who had survived that is. They were happy to be alive, and they each looked it. They had fought for their lives, and had beaten the evil that Buffy had been protecting them from for so long.

Through the usual dim lighting, Buffy faintly made out Willow and Oz dancing, looking very close. Buffy raised an eyebrow, taking a mental note to ask Willow about that later and why she had been late to graduation. Though she had a pretty good idea what had transpired. Her eyebrow raised further as she spotted Xander and Cordelia, who must have formed a truce, because they were groping each other like in the good ole days in the center of the dance floor. At least some people's love lives were going well. Every once in a while, some one would come over to say thank you, people that had never spoken to her, people that had ignored her, everyone.

Propping her chin on her hand, she tried not to look too depressed, or too tired, no matter now much she wished she was at home, in bed, with a carton of Triple Fudge Brownie ice cream. He'd left. He really had. She'd understood that much, that he felt he had to go. But it didn't stop the pain any. She'd almost lost him, not just because of his stupid chivalrous reasons, but because of something that they were almost unable to stop. He'd almost died.

Her heart clenched at the thought of him dying. Him not being there. She'd almost died when he'd been in hell. If he had this time, she knew she wouldn't have survived it. It was bad enough that he wasn't going to be around. Giving up all pretense of trying to have fun, her head fell into both of her hands, and she fought back the tears that were beginning to form from behind her eyelids.

"Can I have this dance?" The voice was soft and unsure, but so familiar as it washed over her.

Looking up, her eyes leaking slightly, making tracks down the smoke smudges she knew were still on her cheeks, she caught his gaze. Angel. He stood there, dressed in the black sweater and pants he'd been in before, but without the duster. His deep eyes were sorrowful as one hand outstretched, pleadingly, to take hers. Without answer, she slipped her small hand in his big one, giving him a small smile as he led her onto the floor just as the soft strains of a slow slong played over the speakers.

Every now and then
You find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time we fall
You're the best friend that I found

"You came," she breathed, as his hands slid around to clasp behind her waist.

"This doesn't change anything Buffy." Angel's voice was apologetic as her own hands travelled up his strong build, across his broad shoulders, her fingers burying themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck. "I just thought you deserved a goodbye."

I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

"I know." Buffy rested her head against his chest in a familar spot under his chin. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." They danced for a few more beats, before he spoke again. "Thank you."

Buffy looked up, surprised. "For what? Angel, I wasn't about to let you die."

"Not for that. For just being you."

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you loose your way
think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Ooooh remember me this way

Buffy looked at him, confusion plain on her face.

"You've given me so much Buffy. More than I ever deserved. You allowed me to love you. And no matter what pain that might have brought us, I'm always going to look back and smile because you were with me."

"Angel..."

"I can only hope that you don't let me hold you back. I want you to have that normal life Buffy. I want you to have everything that you ever dreamed of.. Without me." One of Angel's hands moved up to cup her cheek, the pad of his thumb gently wiping the tears off her cheek. "I want you to try."

"I can't promise that Angel." The tears began to fall harder now, as she shook her head in desparation. "I'm always going to love you. You've ruined me for anyone else."

"I want you to try. I'm always going to love you Buffy. Nothing is going to change that. But its never going to be more than that. We can't let it.

"I've done so much in my past that I need to make up for. You need to move past me."

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me no matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forever more a part of me your every where
I'll always care
I'll make a wish for you and hope it will come true
That life will be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you loose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

Buffy gave up trying to argue with him. She knew that he was never going to accept her loving him, if he wasn't able to come to terms with the damage that his demon had caused. She simply nodded. Squeezing her eyes tight as she laid her head back down on his chest, their bodies moving in perfect unison. They'd been through so much.

That first kiss they'd shared in her bedroom, full of passion and awakening. Her coming to terms with the fact that the man she was in love with was one of the creatures she was sworn to destroy. Professing their love for each other, in both words and physical actions. Buffy having to watch as the demon her lover had turned into stalked her and her friends. Angel being sent to hell by her own hand and the grief in the knowledge that he was never coming back because of what she'd done. Angel coming back and having to deal with what he had caused.

Even through all that turmoil, she had still loved him. She had felt his love for her even then. He would always be with her, in her thoughts, her memories.

Her body gently began to wrack with sobs. This was the last time she'd probably ever see him. The last time they'd hold each other. Almost urgently, she attempted to rememorize every part of him. His hands on the spot on her waist that seemed as if it was made just for his hands; his long, cool length pressed up against her body. The way she fit just so below his chin.

"I love you Angel." Her words were a whisper.

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
Oh baby, standing by your side in all you do
And I will never leave as long as you believe

Angel heard her soft words, and closed his eyes, almost in agony at the prospect of letting her go, forever. He was trying to do the right thing by letting her go. Giving her a chance at what she deserved. She who was his light, his joy. Who gave so much of herself to everyone that she cared about.

He ignored the pit of jealousy forming in his stomach at that thought of any other man touching her, being with her. Being the focus of her love. He was doing this for her. She deserved that much, because all he had ever brought her was pain.

His arms tightened reflexively around her, as the memories of the past 3 years came back to him. Being knocked on his back in the alley and looking up to see her face, knowing in that instant that he was going to fall for her. The worry as Giles had told him that she was going to die, and then the relief as she had taken that gasping breathe that had brought her back into his life. Her crying in his arms as she'd dropped the sledgehammer that she'd used on the Master's bones. The ecstasy of that one night they'd spent together, losing himself in her depths. The hundreds of years spent in hell, the only thing he remembered being her. The nights spent together after a patrol, just enjoying their time together, leading to Buffy finally falling asleep beside him. Finally, watching as she had been called in L.A., swearing that he would always protect her. That promise would never change, he told himself. He'd always be there for her when she needed him. But that was all he could offer her, help when the forces of darkness proved too much.

You just believe
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind

Neither of the two lovers realized it when the dancers had stopped dancing around them halfway through the song. Neither did they know when a small space had cleared around them, as the graduated students that had fought watched the couple they'd seen continously off and on over 3 years holding on tight to one another. No one really knew what was going on, but the agony in their protector's and the man's face was clear, even in the dimly lit room. Couples held onto one another, many of the girls holding back tears, as they watched the girl many had idolized from a distance almost in tears.

The air crackled with tension as the song wound down, and the couple pulled apart, looking into one another's eyes.

And if you loose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way

"If you ever need me, I'll be here for you. You know that right?"

Buffy nodded sadly, wishing that the song could keep going forever, knowing that he was talking business only. "Same goes for you. I hope you find what you're looking for."

Angel held back as his gut screamed for him to say 'I've already found it.' He gave a sad, half smile. "Thanks Buffy. I'm always going to love you."

"I know. I love you Angel. Nothing is going to change about that."

Slowly, Angel lowered his head, capturing her lips in a tender, almost painful kiss, it was so sweet. Their lips clung to each other, not wanting to let go. As the last lines of the song played out, they pulled away, holding onto each other for one last moment before Angel stepped away from her, their hands clinging to each other before Angel turned and stalked from the small circle like the graceful predator that he was, the crowd splitting as he made his way through, leaving Buffy on the dance floor like she had him when she had first found out who he really was.

As he melded into the shadows, the crowd turned expectantly back to Buffy, who was looking after him with a sort of resigned air. Her lower lip was captured between her teeth in an attempt not to cry as the four of her closest friends pushed their way to their friend, the 4 sometime warriors standing protectively behind her.

Remember me this way
Ohh yeah.. this way

Go to the sequel, Against All Odds

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