SUMMARY: Buffy & Angel go double-dating with new couple Faith & Spike, and there are issues, as always.
SPOILER: Minor S2 & S3 Buffy & S1 Angel. After the episode with Rebecca--can't remember the name of it--Angel stayed Angelus. So there.
DISTRIBUTION: http://members.aol.com/slaythis99/slay.htm and wherever else you feel like putting it
RATING: TV-14, probably.
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns all. I hate it, but that's the way it is
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thank you so much for this challenge, QtePato0tie. It was perfect.

"Ugh," Angelus growled as he and Buffy got out of his brand-new Mercedes and headed towards the doors at Serenity, the newest vampire club in town. "I cannot believe you talked me into this."

Not ten feet away, Spike and Faith were getting out of her 'Stang.

"I cannot *believe* you bloody talked me into this," Spike was saying.

"Suck it up and deal. Yo, B!" she waved to the other Slayer and the two couples met halfway to the club's entrance.

"You're right on time," Buffy smiled. "What'd you do, promise to screw Spike in the car if you weren't late?"

"Not in the car," Spike smirked. "*On* it."

"I'm sorry I asked."

"Could we just go in already?" Angelus asked. "Or could I just kill them and forget the whole thing?"

"You wouldn't try it," Spike commented.

"Down, boys," Faith shook her head and looked at Buffy. "They act like they're in kindergarten."

If on cue, the boys both sported game face and began fighting. Faith laughed as Spike charged at Angelus and was thrown back against a No Parking sign. Angelus brushed himself off and was gonna go after Spike again when Buffy called his name.

"Come on, baby. I'm hungry."

Angelus growled but walked over to her and took her hand in his. Spike stood up and spat out blood.

"That's disgusting!" he shouted. "Look at that! Angelus, completely p___y whipped!"

"I am not!" the vampire took off after Spike and the Slayers waited a whole minute before Buffy screamed the vampire's names at the top of her lungs.

Angelus, moping, returned to his Slayer and went inside the club with her.

"I *am* whipped," he mumbled as they checked their coats.

*****

"Dance with me," Buffy said after Angelus and Spike had each consumed several alcoholic beverages.

"No."

She folded her arms and pouted. "My old boyfriend wouldn't dance with me, either."

"Your old boyfriend was a fudge-packing, terrified-of-coming-out-of-the-closet, idiotic homosexual. I'm sure the gay community was ashamed to have him as a member."

Spike looked quite pleased with himself, and Angelus looked jealous that he hadn't said it.

"He wasn't gay," Buffy looked at Angelus. "Riley wasn't gay."

"Right," he picked up a shot glass and emptied its contents into his mouth. "And I'm not on my way to being drunk."

"Faith, you met Riley." Buffy made a face. "You *did* Riley. Was he gay?"

"That boy didn't know which end was which on a girl. I'd have to say, one hundred percent gay man."

"I win!" Spike shouted triumphantly.

"You didn't win anything, dumbass," Angelus commented.

"You wanna say that to my face, Peaches?" Spike asked.

Angelus was immediately in game face, ready to take on anyone who got in his way. Other vamps in the club cheered him on as he growled and waited for Spike to make a move.

He was practically crushed when Spike shrugged and lit a cigarette.

"Sorry, but no smoking," a redheaded waitress commented as she came by with fresh drinks. "The owner has sensitive nostrils, you know?"

"Bloody Hell," Spike remarked, but he put the Cancer stick out anyway. Angelus, pissed off, sat down and glared at Buffy.

"Now will you dance with me?" she asked.

"No way in Hell."

Buffy smirked and twisted the cross necklace she still insisted on wearing around her neck. "Maybe that can be arranged."

"Dammit," Angelus remarked, realizing he had no choice. He took Buffy by the hand and led her to the dance floor, where she kept him for the rest of the night. They didn't notice Faith and Spike leaving, and didn't find them until it was nearly daylight when they were heading for home.

They found the horny couple asleep, naked, on the hood of Angelus's car.

"They're both dead," he remarked, blood practically coming out of his ears.

"Don't kill my friends," Buffy begged in a little-girl voice.

He just couldn't say no to her, no matter how he tried. Angelus cursed himself, but eventually, he resolved to drive his own car home, hoping the sun would rise soon and scorch Spike's naked ass something awful.

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