Disclaimer: duuuuh - if I owned them Angel would be human and living with Buffy
somewhere in the sun
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: the whole B/A-thing, the previous stories in this series called "Hidden
Words", "Hidden Away", "Hidden Friends" and "Hidden Truth". I highly recommend
you read them first to understand the plot.
Timeline: two weeks after "Hidden Truth"
Dedication: This goes to Ducks, because I adore her fanfic! "Something Old" is the Best!!!!
They all knew the call would come sooner or later, but when it came it was still a shock.
It was Monday morning when Cordelia picked up the phone still laughing about one
of Gunn's jokes when her face suddenly fell, she turned round and her voice dropped to a whisper. Still they could all hear to whom she was talking at the other end.
"What demon? ... so you think you can't handle it ... hmmm ... serious ... no, NO Giles! I won't give you Buffy," her voice was rising now. "No," she said firmly.
"But you can talk to Wesley or Angel, it's your choice... Fine," she let out a sigh and turned around, "Giles wants to talk to you Angel."
He nodded and walked over to the phone but without letting go of Buffy's hand that he'd been squeezing all the time. The slayer's face was pale, her body rigid as if fighting for control.
"Giles," the ex-vampire took the receiver from Cordelia and listened. "I see." He took a deep breath, "She'll be there tonight." Looking at Buffy he amended,
"We'll all be there... Yes, Faith too. ... I thought Xander would tell you about her ... see you then. Bye." Turning towards his crew who had gathered in the
lobby by now, he said, "They have a Turmalion demon in Sunnydale. Giles thinks they can't handle it on their own." Turning towards his girlfriend he pulled her into his arms, "Are you okay?"
She shrugged but avoided looking into his eyes, "Sure. We all knew that day would come."
"Buffy, you don't have to go. A Turmalion demon isn't that strong. Faith could
handle it."
"Sure," the brunette slayer offered from behind. "A Turmal ... whatever ... I slay them before breakfast."
"No." Buffy gave her a grateful smile but shook her head, "This is my duty. Maybe ... maybe it's best this way. Sooner or later I would've to face Willow and
Giles." She leaned her head against Angel's chest and muttered, "Later would've been better though."
He kissed her skull and tightened his embrace, "It'll be alright, you'll see."
"If they give you trouble they'll have to answer me," Cordelia said with a smile.
"Hey, maybe they're still scared of me," Faith grinned. "I mean I could try to
look dangerous..."
Buffy turned around and gave her a smile, "Thanks, but I think I can handle it. They should be afraid to face me not vica-versa." She felt much better receiving
so much support from her friends ... the real ones ... including Cordelia, she thought, inwardly shaking her head in amazement. Who would've thought all these
years ago.
"That's my Buffy," Angel gave her a brilliant smile and kissed her forehead. "Give it to them!"
"We will all be with you," Gunn came around Cordelia's desk to stand beside his
girlfriend and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"They won't even have time to annoy you," the fromer may-queen remarked with a
grin, "because they'll have problems to close their mouths seeing me with a guy like him." With this she wriggeld away from Gunn and shot him a nasty look.
Sighing he shook his head, "See what I have to endure all the time."
******
"I'm so nervous," Willow was pacing the living-room of the apartment she shared
with Giles since Buffy had left Sunnydale.
"Maybe you should just sit down," the watcher suggested.
"Sit down?," she echoed. "You've gotta be kidding. If I'd drunk lots of
coffee this morning I couldn't be jumpier. My nerves are in overdrive. It was such an ugly scene before she left and I haven't talked to her
since." She sighed and finally *did* sit down. "She even sent Cordelia and Wesley to get her stuff." Then she gave him an annoyed glance, "Aren't you nervous at all?"
"I am," he replied and gave her a tight smile. "But I've learned that jumping around like this doesn't help. Maybe our news will help to ease the waves."
"As if she'd be interested in them!" The witch shook her head, "After what Xander told me she's not interested in Sunnydale and us anymore. Oh Rupert," she looked
at him unhappily, "what if she's never going to forgive me! I did it because I thought it best for her. I still do!," she began to defend herself. "I mean look
at it from today. What if we'd shown the letter to her? She would've gone to Angel and waited for him. At that point he still was a vampire with a fragile
soul. She'd spent years of her life just waiting for him. Waiting for something that might not have happened until today." She stood again and threw her hands in
the air, "Nobody knew it was going to happen so soon."
"I know," Giles pulled his glasses from his nose and began to rub them with the
hem of his shirt. "But it's fact that if she hadn't found the letter by accident she would've married Brian."
"And this would've been such a bad thing because?," she shot back. "Brian loved her, he still does. I just met him and his heart is broken. I swear he lost ten
pounds and he misses her so much. And Buffy loved him too. She told me herself. She sat on the very spot you're sitting now and with a happy smile on her face
told me she was going to marry Brian. And then Angel comes around and everything before was nothing." Angrily she shook her head again, "She's behaving like a child."
"My dear," Giles stood up as well and laid a hand on her arm, "I know you meant it well. I did too. But obviously we both underestimated the amount of love
between Buffy and Angel. Don't you think?," he asked and cupped her cheek to make her look at him. "Maybe we both need to try to see things from her point of view for a change."
*****
Buffy threw a bloody axe into Angel's direction and gave him a tired smile. The battle with the demon had been unexpectedly long and hard. Even with the combined
strength of two slayers. Now they were both standing in the graveyard and wiping sweat from their faces.
The L.A.-team had been driving down to Sunnydale late that afternoon and after
Wesley had quickly talked to Giles they'd gone off to the Sunnyrest-cemetery to take care of the creature, what meant the two slayers would fight, supported by
Gunn and Angel, who would help as far as humanely possible and Cordelia and Wesley standing a short distance away watching the scene or as the former cheerleader put it, giving moral support.
"You both okay?," Angel asked the two women who were now grinning at each other.
"Sure, boss," Faith replied and gave him a slight punch on his arm.
"You're bleeding," the former vampire looked at his girlfriend and traced a small wound on her cheek with the tip of his forefinger.
"No big," she gave him a quick kiss, "slayer healing and all. And with Faith by my side," she grinned towards her sister-slayer again, "what could go possibly
wrong, not to mention the back-squad and my own cheering-team."
"That's us," Cordelia raised a fist in the air. "I've always been good at cheering. Remember, they took me!"
Buffy looked at the brunette, but there was only friendly teasing in her eyes. "Yeah, I remember," she replied. "First burning hands, than a diappearing mouth and finally Queen C going blind."
"Huh?," Angel gave her a questioning gaze.
She waved with her hand, "Forget about it. It was a long time ago. And it was actually about a witch, not about demons."
"Err, I don't want to destroy the mood," Wesley interrupted their conversation, "but we need to get back to report about this."
Buffy sobered instantly. Then she nodded slowly, "Alright, let's go. It's always better to face the devil."
*
Only ten minutes later they stood in front of Buffy's old apartment, gazing at
each other but none willing to ring the bell. When finally Cordelia reached out the door opened before she could touch the bell.
Giles looked at the group awkwardly and then quickly glanced behind his back where Willow was standing chewing her lower lip. Then he cleared his throat and
his eyes were on Buffy when he invited them, "Come on in then." While they were passing him one by one, he asked, "Did it go well with the demon?"
"Perfectly well," Wesley replied and was the only one who actually smiled. "They are both experienced and well trained slayers. I didn't even expect real problems
although this special demon was quite strong."
"So nobody's hurt?," Willow spoke up for the first time.
"No," Faith answered and looked at the red-head. "Hi Willow. I hear you're big in keeping secrets these days."
"Faith," came Angel's sharp voice. "Please," he then added softly.
The brunette slayer smiled at him apologetically. "Sorry, but I couldn't help it."
An awkward silence settled over the room after that. They tried not to look at each other and when they did they quickly averted their eyes. Finally Welsey was
the first to speak, "I really could do with some tea," he announced.
"Tea. Of course," Willow jumped up from the chair she'd been sitting on and moved
towards the kitchen. "Maybe Buffy could help me," she asked uncertainly, eager to talk to her former best friend in private. "You're familiar with things here
after all," she added and for the first time looked at the other woman.
The blonde slayer nodded hesitantly and after exchanging a glance with Angel and
quickly pressing his hand she followed the red-head away from the others.
*
"How are things going in L.A.," Giles asked nobody in particular after the two women had left the room.
"Good," Wesley answered quickly glancing at Angel. The former vampire sat oposite to the older watcher.
"That's great," Giles answered with unfamiliar enthusiasm. He was playing with
his glasses in his hands and absentlmindedly rubbing his forehead from time to time. "Angel, I...," he began but broke off, cleared his throat and began again,
"I know whe didn't have time to talk, since ... err ... well, since Buffy left Sunnydale. The situation has been quite ... tense, as you certainly know."
"Yes," the former vampire replied. "I know." When he saw that the watcher was about to speak again he held up his hand. "Giles. Whatever you're going to say
now it doesn't change anything that happened in the past. I can understand that you meant well by doing what you did. Hell, it's not as if I haven't acted ...,"
he stopped abruptly realising that he hadn't even told Buffy about the special Day at Thanksgiving all those years ago. And this was certainly not the way he
was going to do it, he was dreading this special talk enough when done privately.
"Anyway," he continued after a short pause, "as I said. I can understand it. I
know you love Buffy. And she knows too. But that's not the point here. The problem is she feels betrayed and I understand that too. Her friends have kept
something from her. Something that was or is very important. She's hurt and lost her trust in you."
"She talked to Xander," Giles reminded the former vampire and the hurt was
audible in his voice. Xander had been forgiven, why not the others.
"I think," Angel gave him a smile, "it's because she didn't expect very much from
Xander in the first place. He lied to her before. She wasn't as ... can we say surprised. But you and Willow were her most trusted friends. She relied on you,
Giles you were her watcher, still are," he corrected himself. "The bond between watcher and slayer is very strong and yours went even deeper. As much as you see
a daughter in her she sees a father in you. And she's already experienced a father who betrayed her."
"I never saw it that way," the older watcher leaned back on his sofa, his face
wearing a baffled expression.
"With Willow," Angel went on. "Well I think there isn't a secret Buffy hasn't told her only to find out it wasn't the same the other way round. I truly hope
that these two find a way to make it work again, but I'm not sure." He sighed and looked at Cordelia whose face wore a concerned expression as well.
*
"Can you get the milk from the fridge," Willow asked the slayer while she was busying herself with the water and tea-bags. "It's still ... oh, I see you found it."
"Sure I did. I lived here for a while," Buffy replied tightly. Then she sighed and put the milk down and her hand on her hips. "What do you want to talk about
Willow?," she asked not liking to tip around the subject.
The spoon the red-head had been holding met the counter with a loud clattering
noise. "T-talk?," she stuttered. "Well, we could talk about your life in L.A. for example," she said then, picking the spoon up with a trembling hand.
"Cut the crap, Willow," the slayer's voice was still angry. "You didn't drag me in here with you to make some small talk, did you? Because I really don't need this, you know."
"Buffy," the witch looked at her, her face troubled. "I ... I can't stand that. You are my best friend, my only real friend - girlfriend that is - and we haven't talked to each other for over
six weeks. You're treating me like I've become untouchable all of a sudden. Don't you think I've paid enough for my fault?"
"Honestly?," the slayer quirked a brow, "No!"
"Buffy..."
"You're little fault almost costed me the man I love. I gave up on us because I thought there'd never be a chance. And even worse, I let a good man fall in love with me and I had to hurt
him terribly afterwards." Buffy crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at her former friend. Her whole body screamed 'stay away from me'.
"But I wanted you to be happy!," Willow shouted desperately trying to make the slayer understand, "You didn't need this. A hope that could be in vain. It
would've costed you years of your life. This way you lived it full. I'm sure if you'd ask Angel he would be the first to agree."
"But we're not asking him," Buffy's voice was low and dangerous. "It's me we are talking about. Willow you betrayed me. You kept something so important away from
me. As good as your intentions might have been, but this was *not* your decision to make. It was mine and you prevented me from making it. And by the way when you
decided to keep the letter from me you couldn't have known Brian would step into my life."
"B-But there was Riley and you and he..."
"Were a farce," the slayer shot back. "He was clingy, had that inferior complex going on already and was whoring around with vampires. Was that the kind of
boyfriend you wanted me with? God, what is wrong with you Willow? Can't you see what you did. You destroyed my trust in you. You were my best friend, my trusted
friend. I told you everything. I told you things I didn't tell anybody else. All the stuff about Angel, how much I loved him. I cried in your arms when he left
me! How could you? How could you do this to me?." Buffy felt tears running down her cheeks but ignored them. Let Willow see how much she hurt me, she thought.
"I ... I ...," the witch stuttered but then stopped suddenly missing the words to explain herself. Maybe there weren't any. The realisation struck her like
lightning. "God, Buffy, I'm sorry," she blurted out. Her cheeks now wet from tears as well. "I really thought it was for your best, but ... but I'm not sure
anymore. I mean, I ...," helplessly she shrugged. "I was angry with Angel because he hurt you like this and maybe I ...," she shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe
I thought Angel hadn't earned another chance. Maybe in a twisted way I tried to protect you from getting hurt again." She broke off and wiped her tears away.
Much quieter she added, "But you're right. It wasn't my decision to make and I'm sorry. But I can't make it go away. The only thing I can do is to ask you if
you'd be able to give me another chance. To prove you that I'm your friend, that is."
Buffy looked at her for a long moment and then slightly shook her head, "I don't
know, Willow. I honestly don't. This cut went too deep. I can't just wave it away like this," with a motion of her hand she underlined the meaning of her words. "I
don't think we will be like before ever again, but ...," she took a deep breath, "you were a good friend so many times and for this I'm willing to try." When she
saw the red-head starting towards her, she lifted a hand, "No. No embracing, Willow. It's too early. And I won't promise anything. We just have to wait and see what's going to happen."
"Sure," the witch nodded, "I'm okay with it. At least we're talking again. And I'll do everything to make you trust me again. I promise."
The slayer sighed, "Alright," she gave her friend a nod. "And now you should take care of the tea because the water is boiling."
*
"They're gone awfully long," Faith remarked after looking at her watch.
"It's a good sign," Angel gave her a smile. "They're gone for a while and we
haven't heard anything. That probably means they're talking. It's what Buffy needs. This whole situation throws her," he added gazing at Giles now. "Every night she cries in her sleep."
"I'm sorry," the watcher replied, his face grave.
"I know," the former vampire assured him. "Maybe you should tell her. She misses
you both. We aren't talking about it ... well, not very often, but I can see it in her eyes. I can see how much she's hurting."
"But I should say I'm sorry to you too, Angel," Giles said after a short silence. "I know we hid the letter from her but this concerns you too. It must have hurt
you too when you got no reaction from her."
A muscle in Angel's cheek twitched and the watcher could see the flicker of pain
crossing his handsome features before he slowly answered, "It has. But it's in the past and if I've learned something then it's not to dwell on it. Only moving
on makes sense, otherwise you loose yourself in your memories."
"He's right, you know," came Buffy's voice from the door and all eyes turned
towards her. "And I want to thank you Giles," she continued, claiming the spot beside Angel again. "You're the very first to apolologise to Angel though," she
quickly glanced at Willow who balanced a tray with cups and tea.
Placing it on the table she looked at the former vampire, "I'm sorry, Angel. I
know we had no right to do this. I ...," she took a deep breath, "I told Buffy already that I was angry with you. I probably thought you didn't earn her."
He let out an unhappy laugh, "That thought crossed my mind once or twice too," he said and glanced at his girlfriend who was squeezing his hand tightly.
"Yes, well," Willow motioned her guests to serve themselves with tea, took a seat beside Giles and then her eyes rested on Angel again, "When you and Buffy were
together at first I had incredibly romantic ideas about you two. The slayer and the vampire. My imagination was in overdrive. And I guess deep inside I resented
you for destroying my illusions." She took a cup herself and poured tea with milk, something she'd copied from her boyfriend. Boyfriend, she had to
inwardly laugh at that. Giles was probably too old to qualify as a boyfriend, wasn't he?
"As I said, she's got some serous flaws," Cordelia exchanged a look with Buffy
who couldn't help but smile at that remark. Faith giggled and Willow felt a pang of jealousy by watching the closeness between the three woman. Something she'd
once shared with the slayer. A very ugly strike of self-knowledge hit her and as much as she wanted she couldn't deny it completely. Had she maybe unconsciously
liked the idea that nobody was closer to Buffy than herself? Angel had certainly been a threat, the way the couple looked at each other now was more than proof
for it, while Riley or Brian or the few others ... no, don't even go there, she scolded herself. Hasn't Angel just said something about not dwelling on something?
"... some news," she heard Giles say beside her while she suddenly realised that seven pairs of eyes were staring at her.
"Uhm ... what?," she asked confused.
"Giles just told us you both had some news to share," Cordelia told her with a curious glance in her eyes.
"News?," the red-head frowned. "Uh, oh, yes news." She slightly shook her head and laughed self-consciously. "Sorry I've been somewhere else."
"We would've never noticed," Faith said sarcastically.
"Well, would you share it now?," the voice of the former mayqueen showed clearly her impatience.
"We're going to get married," Willow blurted out. "Rupert thought at his age our
relationship needs some solid ground." And now she smiled at her future husband
and then at her friends or at least they were hopefully going to be her friends again.
"Married? You and Giles?," Cordelia asked incredulously, her eyes wide.
"Yes," the watcher shot the former cheeleader an irritated glance. "I don't know why this is such a shock. We've been dating for almost two years now."
"Congratulations," Angel and Wesley said almost simulaneously.
"Thanks," Willow smiled at them. "Maybe you could all come. We would be glad."
Giles emphasised her pleading with a nod.
"Sure," Buffy shrugged and leaned against her lover's shoulder. "Why not." She
could see that the red-head wanted to ask something else, probably if she'd be her bridesmaid, but to the slayer's great relief the witch bit her tongue. Buffy
didn't want to say 'no', but she wasn't ready for this. They would have to go a long way until they'd regain even a bit of the familiar closeness.
"When will be the big date?," Gunn asked.
"In three weeks," Giles informed the L.A.-group. "Anya's due in a week and she should be up again until our wedding. Willow wants all her friends there," he
added and laid a warm hand on his fiancée's shoulder who smiled in response.
"Alright, count us in," Faith stood up and glanced at her watch, "Uhm ..."
"Yes," Angel stood up as well pulling Buffy with him in the process, "We really need to get back home." He extended a hand towards Giles, "It was good to see you."
"Yes," the watcher replied and held the former vampire's hand a bit longer. The two men exchanged a long look, then both nodded.
It wasn't all back to normal but they'd made a big step again and given time, they'd make it work.
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