Disclaimer: duuuuh - if I owned them Angel would be human in living with Buffy
somewhere in the sun
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: Land of Denial, Sunlight & Shadow, Angelscharmedslayer, if you have
any of my stories, take it; anyone else, please tell me where it goes
Spoilers: the whole B/A-thing, the previous two stories in the series called
"Hidden Words" and "Hidden Away", you should read them first to understand this.
If you should need them, just let me know and I'll send them to you.
Summary: Buffy discovers friendship where she didn't expect it
Timeline: directly after "Hidden Away" (well the morning "after")
Feedback: duuuuh!!!! Sure, because I need it and crave it!
Dedication: this goes to Kasyia - thanks for your constant feedback
It had been 24 hours to rediscover each other. 24 hours closed away from everything and everybody, closed away from the world. It had not only been the sex or more precisely making love although they'd done that a lot and in every possible way the last day and night, but they had also talked between short periods of dozing off.
The talks had nothing to do with the seriousness of the previous morning where they'd shared the memories of the times while they'd been separated. This time the words were whispered, private words, which brought them close again. Buffy couldn't remember anymore how often they'd told each other 'I love you'. Maybe it was ridiculous to repeat it again and again. Of course they both knew they loved each other but after such a long time apart it seemed necessary to assure each other time and again.
However it was, both woke up the next morning with the feeling they did belong to each other again.
Buffy was amazed of herself, but she realised it was a proof of their love that it had been so easy to get reacquainted to Angel and vica versa. Even more surprising was the fact that she didn't doubt him for a second. In her fantasies she'd often wondered that if he ever came back how she would react and had imagined to be afraid he'd leave her again. But somehow his letter had erased all doubts. The fact that - although they'd been apart - he'd confided in her that way ... it made her heart sing with joy and love. How could she have ever doubted him.
And she suddenly knew in her heart that their separation had been as hard for him as it had been for her if not even worse. Sure he had his friends, but there hadn't been another woman he could've turned to. He had been alone. Alone to face Darla. Her heart ached thinking about it. She wished she could've been with him, although a little voice told her that maybe, just maybe he had needed exactly that, had needed to overcome one of his greatest fears on his own to grow into the man he was now.
He had changed so much she realised. Sure he had been uncertain regarding their relationship and so sweet, but it was the way he held himself now, the expression in his wonderful dark eyes, the determination around his mouth. This wasn't the guilt ridden vampire she'd known anymore. This was Angel who had earned his redemption, who had paid his bill, although she was sure that he would never be able to forget and it was good that way, because all these things made him to the incredible man who had blessed her with his love. Something that never ceased to amaze her.
She had to smile at that thought when she came down the stairs to follow Angel who had gone ten minutes ago to make coffee for them and find something to eat, because none of them had even thought about it during the last 24 hours. As a result both of them woke up with their stomachs rumbling, a fact that had made them laugh together and made her heart almost burst with happiness. She hadn't felt that good, that free since the night of her 17th birthday. That was almost 12 years ago and made her suddenly realise something she hadn't thought of so far.
So walking through the hall, dressed in his oversized sweatpants and one of his dress-shirts she shouted, "Do you realise that I'm now older than you are. Not really of course, but didn't you tell me you were 26 when you were turned and for this ...," the words died on her lips and a gasp escaped them in seeing the person who was standing right in front of her handling the coffee machine and now smiling sheepishly at her.
"Hi B."
"F-Faith," Buffy had to clear her throat. "Hi."
Her sister-slayer quickly busied herself with the coffee, "Angel's gone to get some donuts and stuff. He'll be back in some minutes and as I was up he asked me to take care of the coffee." She didn't look up, but her hands stilled, her eyes fixed on the coffee machine as if waiting for whatever would happen to her now.
The blonde had to clear her throat again. "This ... that's nice. Thanks." God, she was almost 29 years old and couldn't remember ever having said something more stupid. "What are you doing here? No," she held up a hand. "This is stupid Buffy talking. Sorry. So rewind that. It's obvious that you are living here and it really shouldn't surprise me. Angel always had a thing for you." She had to smile when she saw Faith's shocked expression. "I'm not saying that you have *that* thing. No let's rewind that too. I know you haven't." She took a deep breath.
"Let's start again. And I know this is equally stupid, because you're standing right in front of me, but I thought you were in jail."
"I'm on parole," Faith replied still staring to the coffee machine.
"Oh, I see," Buffy said, then sighed and shook her head. "God, one should think we should know what to say after so many years."
Abruptly the brunette's head jerked around and she stared at the blonde slayer, "I ... I'm sorry," she whispered.
And then the most unexpected happened, something Buffy felt utterly foolish about, but without warning she laughed. She sobered instantly when she saw tears welling up in Faith's eyes. Reaching out she touched the other woman's arm, "Faith, I'm sorry. I don't know why I laughed. Maybe because I was so tense and am still a bit uncertain although I'm happy too," she took another deep breath, "look at me. I'm a grown up slayer and still babbling as if I'm 15. Maybe ... maybe we could just take a cup each of us and ... talk?"
"Talk?"
"Yeah, you know, speaking ... words. Saying things. I did it with Angel yesterday and it really helps," Buffy couldn't help but grin.
"But ... I never thought you would ... talk to me, that is," Faith's voice was still barely above a whisper and full of disbelief.
"Well, now you know better. Do you want? To talk, I mean?"
Clearing her throat again the brunette slayer busied herself with pouring coffee in two mugs. "Sure," she tried to sound as casual as possible but Buffy could see the emotions welling up in the other woman. Holding a mug in each hand the brunette motioned towards the lobby. "Let's ... let's go out there. Sitting is much more comfortable over there."
They sat down and Faith handed Buffy one of the steaming mugs. "It's ... good to see you."
"Really?" Buffy quirked a brow. "Why do you look at me then as if I came to throttle you?"
"I...," the brunette cast her eyes down. "It's still difficult for me to ... to face you."
"Why? Because you tried to kill Angel or because you slept with my boyfriend in my body?," she winced realising how hurt her voice still sounded. Damn. And she had wanted to be funny. Big mistake. Seeing the other woman flinch she quickly added, "Sorry Faith, that didn't come out the right way. Truth is, Angel forgave you long ago and if he can do it then who am I not to." She smiled when she saw Faith's head snap up, her eyes widened in surprise.
She went on, "And for Riley," she shrugged. "Well, let's just say I found out he wasn't the precious gift he tried to make me believe he was. If it helps you let me tell you that our relationship had a serious blow when he started to let vampire whores suck his blood to feel even with me."
For a moment Faith could only stare at her, then she shook her head in disbelief and for the first time something like a smile crossed her lips, "What a sucker."
Buffy agreed with a firm nod, "You can say that. He told me I wouldn't love him enough and that he needed that to understand me. And then he made it up to me if he would stay. Xander convinced me that our relationship was worth saving and because I was afraid of being lonely I ran after him and I was desperate after he left, but you know what. It didn't last long. And after a short while I was glad, because he was right, I wouldn't have been able to love him the way he wanted."
"Because you'll always love Angel," Faith stated and this time the blonde slayer stared at her. The brunette laughed, "Don't look like that. I've always known it. But you were good in hiding it. Much better than the big guy. When I came here all these years ago, ready to kill him, he helped me. Because he understood, he was probably the only one who could."
"I know," Buffy said quietly and a bit ashamed thinking back to that particular day.
"I told him I did screw up with you. I told him I slept with your boyfriend and do you know what he said. He was confused and embarrassed and then stuttered something like 'Faith, you and I never...'." She let it stand like that for a moment to see Buffy's reaction. When she saw tears well up in her sister-slayer's eyes she nodded. "Exactly my reaction. I felt rotten because I threw it at him that way. I thought he knew and told him so and he turned away and stuttered even more 'well, that is good, that's what I wanted for her'. And all the time I saw it broke his heart and I wanted to snap my neck because I'd been the one to do it. But he turned around and protected me, protected me even by going against you. Protected me although seeing you that moment after I ripped his heart out must have been so more painful. That was the moment I realised there was something good in this world."
"Have you ever told him that?" Buffy couldn't stop the tears that ran down her face.
"No," Faith shook her head. "I think he knows though. God, that man is so unreal, but I'm so glad he is my friend." Suddenly uncertain she looked away, "that's at least the way I see him. I know you'll be staying here now and I can go, but that won't change my feelings for him." And then she quietly added, "And I never thanked you for protecting me against those council-guys."
Buffy held up a hand, "No need. They were never my friends either. And about ripping a heart into shreds, well, I think I played my part in this as well." She sighed and sipped at her coffee. "For me staying here." She could see that Faith's eyes were instantly alert, "There is no need for you to go. Am I right to assume you're working for Angel?"
"Yeah."
"I thought so. And now that he is human he will need any help he can get. And who could help better than a slayer ... or two."
"You mean..." Faith tried hard to hide the hope in her eyes and her voice.
"I mean maybe after all these years we can try to start fresh if we both want. Would you want?"
"I...," the brunette had problems to find her words. "Yes," she said finally. "I would love to, very much."
And they both smiled.
*
Five minutes later Angel entered the Hyperion Hotel again only to find the two slayers sitting together, mugs in their hands and tears in their eyes. Maybe it was a progress that they didn't try to beat each other into bloody pulps, but still, "What's the matter?" he asked concerned and looked at them.
To his great surprise Buffy jumped up, came to him, threw her arms around his neck and caught his lips in a passionate kiss. When their lips finally parted all he could do was say, "Wow."
"Did I ever tell you that you are the best boyfriend ever?" she gave him a most brilliant smile.
"No," he eyed her suspiciously and looked back and forth between the two slayers, "can somebody fill me in here?"
"We had a good talk," Faith replied and then suddenly began fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, "and I may have said some things about what a great friend you were and are."
"I see," he nodded and gazed at Buffy again. Suddenly he grinned, "oh well, why did I even ask. You can kiss me like that any time."
They all laughed when the door opened and Cordelia entered. Her first look went to the couple in each others arms and then at the brunette slayer on the sofa. She raised a brow, "Obviously I've missed a lot. Morning together."
"Hi Cordy," Buffy smiled at her.
"Good Morning Cordelia," Angel pulled away from his girlfriend and put the donuts he was carrying down on the table. "If anybody's hungry."
The door opened again, "Yo, Angel, just what I needed, man. I'm starving," Gunn grinned at his boss, walked over to the table and grabbed a donut. "Morning Faith," he greeted the brunette slayer when his eyes fell on Buffy. "Good Morning beautiful."
Cordelia shook her head, "Just ignore him. Tact is something he's never been introduced to. Buffy, that is Gunn, Gunn that's Buffy, she's a slayer and Angel's," she hesitated for a short moment and then continued, "girlfriend."
"Wow, you don't loose time, do you, Angel," the black man couldn't stop grinning.
"Hi Gunn," Buffy said dryly. "Good to see you've kept your humor after such a long time with Cordy."
"No insults please," the brunette ex-mayqueen held up a hand, but she smiled. "I'm much better these days. And about keeping his humor. You should better congratulate me for keeping mine. He was barely house-trained when he moved in with me, I had a hard time." When she heard Gunn laugh she turned towards him, "As for Angel not loosing time. Let me tell you that they know each other a very long time. Almost 13 years to be exact and unlike you he knew he loved her the first moment he saw her." With a smug look on her face she walked over to her desk and began to sort through the mail.
The others exchanged glances and bit their lips not to burst out laughing. Buffy was right, deep down Cordelia would always stay Cordelia.
Gunn was the first to break the silence that had settled over the lobby, he cleared his throat, "Is there any coffee left?"
"Sure," Faith gestured with the mug in her hand towards the kitchen.
"Cordy, you want some?"
"Yes," she replied without looking up. Gunn grinned and disappeared from the lobby.
As soon as he was gone Cordelia turned around, "Buffy, I had several phone calls yesterday night and even this morning." She gave the slayer and the ex-vampire a pointed look.
The blonde rolled her eyes, "How often?"
"Let's think about it, Willow called three times, Giles four and Xander once, but only to ask if you arrived safely as he could see how angry you were. So I told him I saw your car in front of the hotel while passing by."
Angel gave her an amused look, "Passing by?" The Hyperion Hotel was certainly not on a bypass from Sunnydale to Cordelia's apartment.
The former cheerleader let out an exasperated sigh, "Fine, so I deliberately passed by to see if she was okay. Sue me! After I realised what had happened over there I was glad that she arrived safely."
Buffy walked over to her and squeezed Cordelia's arm, realising it was the second time in less then 48 hours she did that. Funny how some people turned out to be friends and others ..., "Thanks," she said simply.
The former mayqueen rolled her eyes and sighed again, "Geez, one of these days someone will start calling me St. Cordy. Stop thanking me." She shrugged the slayer's hand off but the look that passed between the two women said that they both were on their way to become friends after all these years. "Thanks," she said then when Gunn handed her a mug. "One question though, you were awfully civil with them. If they'd done that to me I think I would've throttled Willow and Giles. I'm not sure about Xander. He seems genuinely sorry and that's something new for him. Maybe he's grown up after all."
Before Buffy could answer, Faith stood up and walked over to the group, "What the hell are you talking about? Throttle Willow? B., I thought you both were inseparable. Is that the reason you came here?"
"Partially, yes," the blonde answered honestly and exchanged a glance with Angel. "It appeared that Angel wrote a letter to me some years ago and my so called friends thought I wasn't ready to read it. So they just decided to keep it away from me. They were all in this, Giles, Xander, Willow, Riley, not that the last one is important, but he knew too."
"And how did you find out?" Faith didn't want to sound curious, but damn, she was.
"Angel came to Sunnydale two days ago and I was," she looked at him, "I treated him badly. Then I called off my wedding...,"
"Wedding?" Faith echoed, "Man, it seems there was a lot going on I didn't know about." Accusingly she looked at Cordelia who just shrugged.
"Why should I tell any of you? It was the wrong guy anyway," she said with a grin towards Angel, who winked in response.
"Brian," Buffy said to nobody in particular, "that was my fiancée, was a wonderful guy but as Cordelia put it so nicely, he *was* the wrong guy. Angel's visit made me realise it. So he and I had a long night talking and in the morning we parted as friends or at least I hope we did. When I came home I just wanted to tell Willow that there was no need for her to get up. So I went into her room and there was the letter on the floor," she finished with a deep breath. Angel reached out, she took his hand and he pulled her to him.
"And Willow did that?" Faith shook her head. "I always thought she was your friend."
"Yeah," the blonde said, her voice hoarse, angrily she realised that again tears were welling up in her eyes. Angel instantly pulled her closer and gently kissed her skull.
"Nice friends," Gunn commented dryly and yelped when Cordelia elbowed him in his ribs. "What?" he looked at her, "I just made an observation. And I say who needs enemies having friends like these."
"Thanks, Gunn, we really needed that." The former mayqueen shook her head, collected the empty mugs and disappeared in the kitchen.
"Sorry," the black man gave Buffy an apologetic smile.
"No," she held up a hand. "You're right," she said and wiped a tear away that had slipped from her lid. "They went behind my back, they betrayed me and Xander was the only one who apologized for it." She had to laugh, "Xander, imagine that. He felt guilty and bad for it. Still, he didn't tell me. So I really don't know how to feel about him."
"Let him feel bad for a while and then forgive him," Cordelia suggested coming back, "I think he really, genuinely feels sorry. He even asked me to say hi to Angel from him." She grinned.
"Good Morning," came a voice from the entrance. Wesley held two newspapers in one hand and a briefcase in the other. "I see you're all ... Buffy," he stopped seeing the blonde in Angel's arms. To her surprise a smile crept over his lips, "It's nice to see you again. Is it safe to say that you're not married."
"No, I'm not," she replied and blushed when Angel leaned over and whispered 'not yet' in her ear.
"I'm happy to hear it," the former watcher stopped and coughed in embarrassment, "I mean I'm sorry, but ..."
"We know what you mean," Cordelia interrupted him dryly. "And we're all glad for Angel's sake," she looked at the slayer, "and for Buffy's. This marriage would've been doomed from the start. And before you ask any more details I will tell you the whole story." She took Wesley's elbow, "Come on, I'll get you some coffee."
Buffy's eyes followed them while they walked towards the kitchen, then she turned so that her back leaned against Angel's chest. Instantly his arms encircled her waist. Sighing she snuggled deeper into his body.
"Are you okay?" he asked concerned.
"Hmmm," she made and gave Gunn and Faith a smile. "You know just two days ago I felt betrayed and desperate only to realise that I have more friends than I thought."
"I knew that all the time," Angel replied and she knew he smiled.
"Yeah, yeah," she turned to face him and grinned, "I know you were always Mr. Wiseman."
"Did you ever doubt it?" he asked and raised a brow. She stood on her toes to kiss him.
"Come on, Gunn," Faith took his arm. "Let's join Wes and Cordy. This could easily become x-rated," she said when she saw the kiss between slayer and ex-vampire became more heated.
He shook his head and followed her, "And I always thought he was a paragon of virtue." Sighing dramatically, he added, "Seems I've been wrong again."
of the third story.
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