Part 9

Giles sighed and pulled his glasses down. "You aren't concentrating," he scolded gently and began to wipe his glasses with a clean, white handkerchief."Sorry," Buffy pulled her legs beneath her and gave her watcher an apologetic smile. It wasn't that this demon stuff was boring - oh well, actually it was terribly boring - but it wasn't the reason she couldn't bring herself to listen to him. Or, well, at least only a part of it. The major reason however was that her thoughts kept wandering. To the memories she'd lost. And to Angel. Well, if she was honest with herself, she had to admit that Angel was pretty much *the* major thought.

He had said he never stopped loving her and that made her feel wonderful and terribly sad at the same time. Maybe it was the fact that she was looking at their relationship like an observer at the moment, being robbed of all their memories, but why in God's name hadn't they tried to find a way to stay together. Daylight and normal were highly overrated she decided. And Sex? Well, obviously she had had sex. She must have with Angel - because he lost his soul and probably with Riley.

Her boyfriend of one year. You didn't have a boyfriend for over a year at her age and not have sex, did you? But truth to be told, she couldn't remember having any. And you could hardly miss what you didn't remember. So it wasn't missing having sex, although Angel might, but of course the temptation was there. It wouldn't be normal she decided, to not want Angel. He was just too attractive to not want him.

On the other hand they were both responsible adults - or... whatever you wanted to call Angel - **250 years. Oh Boy! Talk about experience.** But she was getting off track here. The fact was that two adults should be able to keep their hormones in check and being with Angel felt so right, Buffy couldn't imagine him leaving - again.

"You're forgiven," Giles smiled too. "I know this isn't your favorite subject," he put his glasses back on. "It never was, but there are certain things you need."

"I know, I know," she flashed him a grin, "But it seems to go in one ear and out the other. Besides, you're here, so you can be my brain and I'm just The Slayer. I mean, that's the job description, right? I slay things. It doesn't say anywhere The Knowing Slayer, just The Slayer."

He couldn't help but chuckle. God, he was glad she was back. Memory loss or no, fortunately she was still Buffy and when he could believe Angel - and he *did* believe the vampire - then she hadn't lost anything of her invention in slaying vampires and demons. "Well, shall we quit for today then?" he asked, although knowing that he didn't need to.Buffy was about to answer when the door opened, "Hi everybody. I'm back." Dawn deposed her backpack in the hall and entered the living room.

"Yeah," another voice said. "Her we are."

"Xander?" Buffy looked at her friend, a question in her eyes.

"I picked Dawn from school. Willow had an important appointment, she couldn't cancel," he replied. No need to tell Buffy where the redhead was at the moment.

"Oh," Buffy jumped up from her chair smiling at her sister. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"Uh-uh," Dawn nodded. "But I'm old enough to get something on my own. Want anything Xand?" she asked over her shoulder already walking towards the kitchen.

"No, thanks," he smiled at her retreating back, then turned to Buffy, "Sorry, I'm in a hurry," he explained, flashing Giles a grin as well. "Wedding preparations. All of a sudden my mother has realized she's got a son and now she's driving Anya nuts." With a wave of his hand he was gone.

"Well," Giles stood up as well, "I better leave too," he bent down and picked some papers from the table. "Could you ask Angel to come to my apartment tonight after patrol," he asked. "There's something we need to talk about."

"Uh... sure," she said. "Anything serious?" she asked feeling dizzy all of a sudden. There was an image in her head. A flash. Angel hurt, his chest full of blisters and *burn-marks*? And a dark-haired girl close to him. And Spike?

"No," he shook his head, "just some..." he stopped when he saw how pale she was. "Buffy?"

No reaction.

"Buffy?" he tried again and reached out to touch her shoulder. She almost jumped out of her skin when his hand connected with her.

"What?" she asked, staring at him with wide eyes. "Oh... sorry," she slightly shook her head. "There... there was another... memory, I think."

"There was?" excitement was written allover Giles' face.

"What happened?" Dawn came back from the kitchen and one look at the pale face of her sister said enough. She deposed the plate she'd been carrying on the table and came to stand beside Buffy, her eyes darting to Giles, "What happened?"

"I believe she had another flashback," the watcher told her. "Buffy?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Yes, I did. There was Angel, but he was... hurt. His chest was full of blisters. And then there was a girl. Pretty. Dark hair and... Spike?"

"That's Drusilla," Giles explained gently, forcing her to sit down on the sofa and taking the spot beside her. "The girl. Her name is Drusilla. She's a vampire. She was... er... I think you could say Spike's paramour for many years."

"And his sire," Dawn added.

Two pairs of eyes turned towards her. "What?" she threw her hands in the air, "Am I supposed to be completely ignorant?"

"No, of course not," the watcher cast her another irritated look, then his eyes went back to Buffy. "That is right. Drusilla is Spike's sire."

"Is she," Buffy hesitated for a moment, "Did Angel sire her?"

"Yes," Giles nodded. "How did you know?"

"Uh... Spike said... When Angel came, he said he was his grand-sire and later he said it again, so I assumed..." the blond shrugged slightly.

"Ah... yes... I see," Giles nodded again. "Did you see anything else?"

"No, but..." suddenly the slayer frowned, should she tell Giles? Was he the person to trust with this, she wondered?

"Yes?" he looked at her expectantly.

"I... I felt," she said finally.

"You felt?" now it was Dawn who frowned, not understanding. "What do you mean, you felt?"

"When I had the first... flashback, I just saw Angel and Riley, but... this time... I felt," she shrugged a bit sheepishly, "I felt... fear. I was scared... for Angel."

Dawn's mouth formed an 'o' at her words, while Giles' brows drew quickly together. "Anything else?" he wanted to know.

"No. That is, I was afraid and," she glanced down at her hands for a moment, then back at her watcher, "No," she shook her head, "just fear."

He relaxed visibly and Buffy was glad she hadn't told him the truth, because besides fear she could clearly remember feeling love.

***

"No."

Willow's head jerked up, her irritated eyes falling on the dark haired vampire sitting opposite to her. She and Tara had left the dorms after their last class to get to the mansion as soon as possible. The redheaded witch felt guilty enough already, and she didn't want to delay bringing Angel what she hoped were good news.

With a mixture of guilt and excitement in her gut she had told Buffy's former boyfriend about their discovery.

She had expected a lot of things after that. Like Angel shouting at her for not trying to find out earlier or him dancing through the hall in happiness - although, Angel didn't really dance - or at least not very often and truth to be told, she just couldn't picture him jumping around like some hyper teenager.

But the last thing she'd expected was that quiet, but firm, 'no'. "What do you mean, no?" she asked frowning.

"What I mean is that I'm certain the happiness clause is still firmly in place. And I am certain, because I already once reverted into Angelus after I came back from hell," Angel told her, his face showing no emotion.

Willow's frown deepened, "You did? Do you mean that you..." she trailed off, looking at him with sudden anger. Sure he and Buffy were separated, and Buffy had been with Riley, and before the commando there had been Parker, but that didn't mean... "I see," she said folding her arms in front of her chest, not even trying to hide her disappointment, caused by his supposed behavior, the fact that she'd obviously been wrong about the curse, and to see her romantic illusions shatter. Buffy wasn't the only one who could make him lose his soul.

"No, you don't," Cordelia sighed, coming back from the kitchen with drinks for everyone. "He didn't do *it* with a woman. Not like you think anyway. Some crazy actress, all afraid of getting old and unattractive, wanted him to turn her. He, of course, refused. So she drugged him, to get him relaxed, that's what she said," the brunette shook her head, "The drug she used initiated happiness. Bliss. And his soul wasn't really gone, it was just... temporarily absent. Fortunately Wesley and knocked him out and chained him to his bed, after that he was his old brooding self again."

Willow's face brightened, "Oh, I see. Well... That's good." She frowned again, "Or not. I mean, it's not good that I was wrong about the curse and the clause, but good that you didn't..." she smiled sheepishly at the vampire, "You know."

"Yes, I do," Angel smiled as well.

He had a nice smile, Tara decided. She liked Angel. There was a lot of wonderful white light in his aura, which meant he had to be a good person. "B-but," she said, reaching in her pocket and producing the paper with the printout of the curse, "Th-this d-doesn't have a cl-clause."

The vampire was suddenly interested, "That's the curse?" he asked.

"Y-yes," Tara nodded, handing him the paper. "Th-that's the v-version, M-Miss C..." she looked at Willow. "What w-was h-her name?"

"Miss Calendar," the redhead replied. She saw Angel flinch at the name and instantly felt bad for bringing it up. She sighed inwardly. "We had Anya compare the two versions," she explained, gazing at the vampire, "the original one and the translation."

"You mean, Jenny Calendar was talking ancient Romani?" Cordelia asked surprised.

"She did. She was Romani after all," Willow said as if it would explain everything.

"Yes, but... Miss Calendar was," she paused for a moment, "you know. She always wore nice clothes and was very modern. But then," she shrugged, "she had the hots for Giles." When three pairs of eyes turned to her, she rolled her eyes, "Alright, love is blind, I know. But please, Giles!"

"He i-is v-very n-nice," Tara came to the watcher's defense.

Angel shot the girls an irritated glance, then said, "So Anya speaks ancient Romani as well."

"Well, duh," the former cheerleader replied, "She's old. More than 1100 years."

"I know that Cordelia," the vampire was clearly annoyed now. It didn't happen often, but sometimes the brunette could test his patience.

"Sorry," she held up her hands.

"What you're saying, Willow," Angel emphasized the name, showing clearly he wasn't talking to Cordelia, at which she rolling her eyes. "What you're saying is that the versions aren't alike?"

"That's right. The original version has the happiness clause, the translation doesn't. My guess is, that Miss Calendar tried to make certain it would never happen again. The soul-losing-thing, I mean." The redhead took her orange juice and sipped, "That's what I don't understand. When I re-cursed you, I used the translated version. So why is your soul not bound? Why is the happiness-part still there? When Anya explained the whole thing to us, I was so certain."

Angel didn't look up he was too busy reading the text of his curse, while Cordelia seemed to think about something. So silence settled for a while.

Then it was Tara who spoke first, "D-didn't you say s-something a-about that y-you s-started chanting and s-some spirit t-took over r-right in the m-middle?"

"Yeah, that was weird, it was working great, I started chanting in English and suddenly I was sort of possessed. Oz was there and he said I was looking really strange, my eyes were glowing and my voice changed and..." and suddenly it hit her. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest and she grabbed her lover's hand.

"That's it," she shouted triumphantly and when she saw she had Angel's attention, she explained. "Don't you se?. I started chanting in English. I started re-cursing you in Miss Calendar's version. So what if some spirit didn't want me to. What if some force, a witch maybe or whatever, a Romani, was interfering, to make certain you'd suffer further on?"

"Th-that c-could explain it," Tara gave Willow a proud look. "B-but that w-would mean w-we could try a-again. W-we just n-need a p-protection spell, to p-prevent the sp-spirit from interfering a-again."

"You mean you could remove the clause?" Cordelia was now exited too.

"That's exactly what she means," the redhead replied.

The brunette turned towards the vampire, "Angel, that would be great," she was beaming at him. "Just imagine, you could--"

"No," his word was sharp as a knife.

Cordelia could only stare at him, then she stuttered, "Wh-what do you mean... no?"

"It won't work," he threw the piece of paper he was reading on the table, stood up and began to pace the room. He was holding his dream in his hand. A permanent soul. It would push the door open to so many possibilities. The permanent fear would be gone. And Buffy...

"Why?" Cordelia couldn't understand. Someone was giving him a precious gift and he...

"I know you are afraid, Angel, but think about the consequences. No more fear of becoming Angelus again," Willow tried to argue.

"No way, Willow," the vampire was too agitated to sit down again.

"But..."

"Could anybody please tell me what the hell you are talking about?" Cordelia shouted finally, feeling completely left out. "What. Is. The. Problem."

"The problem is," the redhead said slowly, "that in order to curse Angel with this," she pointed at the sheet on the table, "we'd need to remove the current curse and that would mean lifting his soul." 

Part 10

"I just don't get you." Cordelia was standing in the middle of the hall in the mansion, her hands firmly planted at her hips, her eyes following Angel who was pacing said hall like a caged animal.

And that was exactly the way he felt. He didn't want to talk about it. And certainly not to Cordelia. Firstly, although he usually admired her bluntness and her ability to put things into perspective, she was also sometimes annoying and tactless. And secondly she knew him far too well, wasn't easily fooled by a dark scowl or a murderous glare that would send other people or demons running.

The problem was, she just wouldn't let it go. "What's there to understand?" he ground out through gritted teeth. "I won't do it. Period."

She looked at him for a long moment, and folded her arms in front of her chest, "That's just plain stupid. And you know it."

He glared at her.

She grinned, "Don't think you can scare me away with this. Next thing you're going to show your game-face. Just go on do it. It won't bother me."

Hadn't he said it already? She was entirely too dangerous for his peace of mind. "Cordelia," he tried his best growl, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad. Because I'm enjoying this subject tremendously." She flashed him another grin and then sat down on the sofa.

**Help** There was no way to escape. It was broad daylight and unfortunately the mansion didn't have a direct sewer access. Finally he gave up, stopped and turned to look at her, "What the hell do you want from me? The whole idea is impossible. And it's far too dangerous. You know what my demon is like, you encountered him first hand - twice, if I may remind you - and none of those meetings was very pleasant."

"No, it wasn't," she agreed. "Although there is something to be said about Angelus' honesty. He at least didn't lie to my about my acting skills. If it wasn't for him, I might be still running around, hoping I'd become some Hollywood Superstar."

"That's got nothing to do with the point here," he narrowed his eyes. "I think you are not aware what Willow was talking about."

"I know what she was talking about. She proposed to give you a safe soul. All glued in and tight fitting, yours forever. But of course you are too stupid to understand what a great gift that is." Now Cordelia narrowed her eyes, "Or is this some weird vampire-with-a-soul-punishment, you know like other people whip themselves."

"What?"

She shrugged, "Well, you are the king of guilt. It wouldn't be very surprising."

He counted.

Backwards from ten.

And then again.

Finally he took a deep breath, "Cordy," he began using her nickname, "I know what possibilities this would have. But I think you never thought all this through. On the other hand, I have."

"Angel," she stood up and moved closer to him. "I know you are afraid, because your soul would have to be lifted. And I know that nobody knows if that curse is going to work. But did you forget what Willow said. If the new version, Miss Calendar's version, the non-clause one, isn't going to work, they just use the old one again. Nothing lost. And I say it's worth a try."

"Alright. Let's say I go with your idea. Let's say I agree," he turned away and began to pace again. "What if it won't work afterwards? I mean not only the new version, I mean at all. Would you want to risk it? What if the soul can't be summoned back? The result would be Angelus. Do you want that?"

"No, of course not-"

"Of course not," he echoed, stopping in front of the fireplace, facing her again. "And problem number two, and I think none of you had even considered it. How the hell are you planning to break the curse? Because as far as I know there is only one way to do it. And I plainly refuse to do that."

She stared at him for a long time, and then a laugh bubbled from her throat. The glare he sent her was murderous and she asked herself if Angelus could look more dangerous. Nope, probably not, she decided. Still, this was Angel, and he didn't hurt people - not as a rule, anyway. "Sorry," she apologized, but not really meaning it.

His last statement was so ridiculous... "Sorry again, but," she shook her head, another laugh coming from her mouth. "Angel, you've got to be kidding me. You left her because you were afraid you couldn't keep your hands off her. And now you *refuse* breaking the curse with her? Oh please!"

"The curse wasn't the only one reason I left," he grunt out through gritted teeth, trying his best not strangle her. "And I am not denying that I want her, I've always wanted her. I even admit that I love her-"

"Not that we all didn't know that already," she cut in.

"... But that's the point here. Buffy's got amnesia. She doesn't remember the times we had together. Plus we were separated for two years. She's had other men... She even had a real relationship. I know it's over, and she can't even remember Riley... But the point is, she can't make such a decision. Not as long as the amnesia is firmly in place."

Angel took a deep, unnecessary breath at the end of his speech and his gaze stayed on Cordelia. She would get it now. And let it go.

"Still..."

Or not. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

The brunette tapped her forefinger against her chin and then tilted her head. He was the most thickheaded, stubborn person she'd ever met. Not counting herself, of course. A little smile tugged at her lips. No, arguing with him wouldn't lead anywhere. There had to be a more intelligent, subtle approach and she would be damned if she wouldn't find it.

"I still think this is the best news since Wesley found the true meaning of Shanshu," she said, slowly walking towards the kitchen. "But have it your way. It's your life after all."

Angel raised a brow and stared at the spot where she'd been standing a second ago. She'd given in, at least for now. It should make him feel better. He just won an argument with Cordelia. But had he really?

***

"Duck!"

Angel obeyed the shout and the vampire exploded above his head.

"That's number six tonight," Buffy was breathing heard, but grinning at him, crossbow firmly in her hand and once he stood up again, was directly pointed at his heart. "They're getting cockier."

"Yeah," he raised a brow at her, and then gave her a pointed glance. With an apologetic look she lowered her weapon. "Thanks," he said with a wry grin. "I don't like it."

"That I was pointing at your heart with a pointy object?" she joked but already knowing he hadn't referred to that.

"When I came to Sunnydale Giles told me the number of vampires were increasing, but it's just past ten p.m. and we've already killed six of them." He bent down to regain the stake that had fallen from his hand in the battle.

"It's funny to see a stake in your hand," she joked. "It's so... small, compared to your mighty fighting axe."

"Yeah, it is-" He stopped mid sentence and stared at her. She had never seen him with an axe except... No. That was impossible. This was absolutely impossible. "How-," his voice cracked and he had to clear his throat, "How do you know I have a fighting axe?" he whispered.

Buffy shrugged, "Haven't you?" she was busy getting the dust from her clothes, then with a grimace gave it up to look at him, and the moment she did she froze. There was such agony in his eyes, and it literally took her breath away. "Angel?" she whispered, stepping closer, but afraid to reach out.

Angel always seemed so strong, like a rock to lean on, absolutely indestructible, but at the moment it seemed as if the lightest touch would crack him. It might sound crazy, but right now he looked absolutely fragile. "Angel?" she tried again. "Are you alright?"

"I... Sorry, what?" he whispered, not quite feeling as if his body belonged to him. He was breathing heavily, his eyes were dazed and he blinked several times, but still he wasn't able to focus. After a few seconds however he managed to swallow and then slowly his eyes came to rest on her. "How do you know I have a fighting axe?" he asked again, his voice steadier now.

"I... uh... I think I remembered you having one," she replied hesitantly,"There is a picture in my head of you carrying one," she frowned slightly, "in a sewer? It's not really clear and just a picture, but you do have a fighting axe, right? Oh please say you have, that would mean I've got another piece of memory back."

"Yes... yes, I have one," he said with a nod. She saw him with an axe in a sewer. Christ! What was happening here? She was remembering something that never really happened? Would she remember the rest of it? **God, please, spare her that.**

"Oh good," she smiled. "That's great you know," she began to babble, eager to share the other flashback with him. "I had another piece of memory today. You were in it, and Spike, and a girl. Giles said it was Drusilla."

Still feeling a bit unsteady, Angel forced himself to focus on her, "Really?" he asked weakly.

"Yep," she nodded, her ponytail bobbing up and down.

**Has she cut her hair?** "You've cut your hair." **God, Angel, shoot yourself. She tells you about regaining her memory and you're talking about her hair. This is getting to you.**

"Yeah," she grinned. "It's about time you noticed. It's because of the flashback I had," she explained, "I saw myself in it. I had shorter hair and I thought it looked much better," she reached for her ponytail. "Do you like?"

"Looks nice," he commented, but wasn't really interested in her hair. He was still too busy digesting the part where she'd remembered him in a sewer tunnel with an axe. This wasn't possible. But here it was, she had regained a glimpse of memory of the forgotten day. His stomach twisted. **Focus, Angel, focus.** "So you," he had to clear his throat again, "had another memory-flash?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "As I said, you, Spike, Drusilla and I in a church. You were badly burned and had blisters on your chest."

"Oh," he replied, "That was when Spike kidnapped me to heal Drusilla."

She did a double take, "He WHAT? This... this... vampire," she shouted, "Oh I'm SO going to stake him."

Angel managed a small grin at her outburst, "Hey, I'm still alive. Drusilla was severely ill; I think she would've died, so Spike did everything to save her. I know you probably won't understand that, but I can somehow relate to him. She was the woman he loved, and he would do everything for her."

"Still," she grumbled, then decided to change the subject, her voice getting low, "I remembered something else."

"You did?"

"Yeah. And it's a first actually. I remembered feeling something. I felt," now she stopped and looked at him, "I felt love. I could clearly remember how much I loved you."

"Buffy-"

"No," she held up a hand. "Don't be alarmed. I already told you I understood. I know it can never be."

**It could. It could. You're just too much of a coward to risk it.

****It's too dangerous. And she still hasn't got all the facts.

****As I said. You are a coward.**

**She remembers she loved me. She probably thinks she loves me now, but that's not really her.

****No? Who is it then? Because she looks like Buffy to me.**

"Angel?"

The vampire snapped out of his daze and looked at her, "I'm sorry. I'm glad... of course... I mean, that you had another flash of memory."

"Angel, are you alright?" she reached out and touched his arm. **God, I want to kiss him. Hold him. Make the pain in his eyes go away.**

He shook his head, "Yes. Sorry. It seems I'm not concentrating tonight. And yes, I know you didn't want to bring up painful memories. It isn't really painful," he managed to smile, "it's more... bittersweet. That's what I like to think about it."

"Really?" her voice was like that of a little girl. "I'm glad." **Better change the subject now.** "Uh... Did I tell you that Giles wanted to see us after patrol?" she asked, began to walk again, purposely staring straight ahead.

"You did," he replied, falling in pace beside her.

"He said it was important, but he didn't tell me what it was about." **Just keep talking. Keep his mind off those memories.**

"That's okay, I'm sure we're going to find out soon." **No, this isn't going to work.** "Buffy," he grabbed her arm and forced her to stop. "You don't need to avoid mentioning those flashbacks to me. I'm glad you trust me enough to share them with me."

"Of course I trust you," she seemed offended. "Angel, I have a feeling as if I've known you all my life. I trust you. Period."

((There's someone in my life now. That I love. It's not what you and I had. It's very new. You know what makes it new? I trust him. I know him.))

**God, I want to kiss you.** "That's-" he cleared his throat again. "Imean..." involuntarily he stepped closer.

**No.****Shut up.**

"Yes," she whispered, stepping closer as well. "What do you mean?"

"I..." and then all rational thinking flew right out of the window. Angel was beyond that when his lips almost automatically found hers, his arms wrapped around her and hers flew around his neck. Their bodies were seeking contact. Closer. And closer.

Lips searching, tongues dueling, hands touching, they were like starved children in front of a table with food.

Light exploded in Buffy's head, images shot through her mind, while she felt Angel's body next to hers. A first kiss in a dark room. Another one with his game-face on. Angel leaning on her. Angel kissing her on his bed. Angel making love to her. Angel. Angel. Angel.

When air finally became an issue for her and their lips parted, Buffy was breathing heavily. Tears were standing in her eyes and there was only one thought in her mind. "Angel," she touched his cheek. "Angel. I love you."

Part 11

"Are the Slayer and her favorite vamp there already?" Xander asked, entering Giles' apartment without knocking. On his heels was Anya and the watcher noticed that she didn't wear her usual bored or annoyed expression, neither did she try to smile, she looked plainly exhausted. Then Giles remembered Xander's remark about his mother planning the marriage and he chuckled inwardly.

"Good evening Xander," the watcher looked up at them. "Anya. You look tired, my dear."

"I am tired," she replied, making a face. "As I said, this human custom of joining is stupid. Why do people go through all this? Xander and I have sex already, so why bother?" she shrugged a bit helplessly and found a spot on the sofa, beside Tara, who seemed engrossed in a book.

Xander gave his friends an apologetic smile, "It's my mother. As much as I like the idea of her actually noticing me, I'd prefer she noticed it after the wedding. Has anyone of you ever seen a mother in a pre-wedding-hysteria? Take my advice, avoid it, and run if you can." With a slight shake of his head he turned towards the kitchenette, then opened the fridge, searching for a drink.

He started slightly when he felt someone come up beside him. "Willow," he put his hand over his heart, "don't do that."

"Sorry," she grabbed an apple.

"How'd did it go?" he whispered, referring to her visit at Angel's.

"Not the way I hoped. It seems I was wrong," she said, her face defeat.

"What do you mean?"

"The happiness clause is still intact. Angel... uh... that is, Angelus made another appearance in L.A." When she saw his face, she shook her head emphatically, "It's not what you think. There was a drug involved. I don't want to go into details," she said glancing over her shoulder at Giles and Dawn, "but it seems that in order to help him we would need to break the curse, and then use the new one. The problem is, Angel refused to even consider it."

"Hi everyone."

They all turned towards the door, where Cordelia was just entering the apartment. "Where's Angel? " she asked, not seeing the vampire.

"He and Buffy are still out," Giles replied. "I'm afraid there is much more work to do in Sunnydale at the moment. As I said in L.A. already, the numbers of vampires are increasing. I don't like it, but I haven't found the reason yet."

"I see," the brunette exchanged a quick glance with Willow, and then pulled her cellular phone from the pocket. When she saw the others staring at her, she grinned, "Just checking."

***

A smile playing on his lips, Angel slowly reached out and gently tucked a strand that had loosened from her ponytail behind her ear, then let his finger linger for a moment before he traced them over her cheek down to her jaw, his thumb touching her slightly swollen lips. "I love you too," he whispered hoarsely, and suddenly noticed she was swaying.

Immediately a concerned expression entered his eyes and his mouth tensed, "Buffy!" One hand grabbed her shoulder to steady her. "Buffy, are you alright?"

"I remembered," she whispered, "I remembered, Angel."

"You..." joy flooded him, but at the same time fear twisted his gut. He licked his lips, "You remembered?"

"Yes," she nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. He caught it with his thumb. She had the feeling she would burst any minute. So many emotions whirled through her, so many images. "I remembered our first kiss," she smiled, "when you vamped out... or at least I think it was our first kiss. I looked pretty young then and had impossible hair," she rolled her eyes at that and both laughed.

"And then I remembered kissing you at the ice rink and..." she suppressed a sob that was threatening her, "When we were making love. God, this is overwhelming me," she whispered, closing her eyes for a moment, tears spilling over, emotions holding her in a tight grip. "I loved you so much then," she opened her eyes again, "So very much. Oh, Angel."

With both hands she framed his face, "How could I ever forget your face, these lips," she traced them with her fingers, "or those beautiful eyes," she stepped on her toes and breathed kisses over his eyelids, then lightly stroked over his brows with her fingers.

Angel was mesmerized. He couldn't move. He wasn't able to think. His body trembled and he would have sworn his heart pounded furiously - it just couldn't be, but it felt a lot like that. God, how he loved this woman, because she was a woman now, not the little girl he fell in love with at first sight. Love was radiating from her eyes too, there was no fear, no pain, just love and he knew instantly she had only remembered the good times, those innocent times, when he had tried to lie to himself.

That thought brought him back to earth faster than anything else. For a last time he pulled her too him, held her tightly, then let go and stepped back. "That's only one part of the story," he said, hoping his voice sounded somewhat normal.

She looked at him through huge eyes, seemingly a bit startled from his sudden retreat. "I... I know," she managed to breathe. "Willow already told me... I mean, I can guess there was more. We wouldn't be separated if there wasn't."

He frowned for a moment, and seemed as if he was trying to find the right words, when suddenly his phone rang. Both looked startled for a moment, then Angel swore under his breath, while he yanked the phone from his pocket.

"Yes," he said sharply.

"There you are," came a well-known female voice from the other end. "So you're still alive then."

"Cordelia," Angel slightly shook his head, while Buffy's eyes widened in surprise. She wasn't sure if it was the fact that Cordelia was calling the vampire or more the unusual image of Angel using something so modern as a cell phone. At least she thought it wasn't familiar.

"Yes, of course, it's me," the brunette's voice sounded a little bit annoyed, "where are you? Still dusting vampires or already enjoying the night with Buffy?"

The last words were meant as a joke, but Angel had to swallow before he was able to answer, "We were on our way. Why are you calling me?" he demanded. "You knew we were on patrol."

"Sure," she replied, "but everyone is already at Giles' apartment, we're only waiting for you and I thought I'd let you know. But of course if you're still decimating the bloodsucking population of Sunnydale, then just continue on. Only a dead vampire is a good vampire," she suddenly giggled, "although that doesn't really fit, does it, with them being dead already.  So I should probably-"

"Cordelia," Angel hissed, "Was there an actual reason you called besides annoying the hell out of me?"

"Oh - oh, you're angry now. Well, calm down. Oh! Another thing. Did you talk to Buffy?"

"About what?" he asked, although he knew exactly what she was referring to. And he had absolutely no intention discussing it now, with Buffy watching him the whole time.

"You know what," she said, her voice sounding low.

"No, I haven't. And I won't. It's none of your business. Tell Giles, we'll be there soon." With this he pressed the red button. Looking at the phone for a moment, he shook his head, "She is the strangest girl..." he said almost to himself and raised his head when he heard Buffy chuckle.

"How can you work with her and not scream all the time?" she asked. She didn't remember Cordelia. And during the last weeks she'd only seen her from time to time, but she seemed pretty close to the vampire, even closer than the normal employee.

"Beats me," he joked. Then smiled. "Actually, she's alright. More like a little sister. An annoying one sometimes, but..."

"You love her," she stated, smiling as well.

"Love?" his face wore an expression of mocked shock, and then it softened. "Yeah, I guess it's not totally wrong." He took a deep breath, "They're waiting for us," he told her, "Cordy said everyone is already at Giles' apartment, so we should go."

His face was unreadable again. **Damn his self-control.** "But we... don't you think we should... talk?"

"About what? Whatever we feel, it's not going to work. There is too much..." he took another deep breath, "... we're too different. Besides, you remember loving me. And you say you love me now. But," he held her with his eyes, his dark orbs piercing into hers, "you know only half the story, or even less. You can't say you love without knowing all, and-"

"Stop it," she shouted, suddenly angry. "Stop telling me what I feel. I might have lost my memory, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I feel. I'm in love with you, and I know it." Her chin came up stubbornly.

"You can't know it," he argued. "You can't even remember Riley. Maybe you're still in love with him. You don't know that."

"We separated," she said as if it would explain everything.

"We did too."

"That's different. There was a reason why we couldn't be together. Riley was human, so I doubt he would change into a demon as soon as we ... you know," she blushed slightly. What was the matter with this... this vampire? He was the most stubborn man she'd ever met.

"We really should go now," he said and turned away, but a hand on his arm held him back.

"Angel, why are you doing this?" her voice pleaded with him, "Just minutes ago you said you loved me, and now... now you're behaving as if we're... almost as if we're strangers. Don't do this, please."

"Don't you see, Buffy? There is no way, and even if there was, as long as you're missing such an important part of your life," he shook his head, "You can't make a decision as long as you don't know what you're deciding."

"I-"

"No," again he shook his head and pulled his arm from her grasp, "We need to go now. They're waiting for us."

She watched him walk away, the grace of a dangerous animal in each of his steps. He said her he loved her and she would hold on to that. And she would show him that he couldn't just walk out of her life like this. She would find a way. With this thought firmly in her mind, she headed after him

Part 12

"Well," Giles pulled his glasses off his nose and looked at the faces assembled in his living room. It was more than just a colorful bunch of young - or not so young - people and, well, non-people. But all of them had more or less helped to save the world on a quite regular basis throughout the past years.

Granted some of them - those who weren't actually quite people or had only recently joined the human ranks - had done some severe damage in their days, but at the moment they belonged to this team of fearless people who were risking their lives on a daily basis, unknown to the rest of the world or for that without any badges of honor.

The mother who was driving her kids to school wasn't aware she wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for Buffy's heroic deeds, and the Slayer wouldn't have been able to do all without the love and support of her family and friends. So in one way or another each of them had played their part in their save-the-world business, had suffered, lost friends and family, and still went on doing what had to be done.

Yes, Giles thought, he was - without a doubt - proud of each one of them. His eyes fell on Angel who was standing behind the chair Buffy had occupied, one shoulder leaning against the wall, his gaze unreadable, his eyes dark pools, he was guarded most of the time and the watcher guessed that maybe Buffy had been the only one he'd really allowed to look behind this guard - at least sometimes.

The ensouled vampire was one of the most interesting people Giles had met in his days, he had been a trusted ally, a dangerous enemy and was now - with his friends in L.A. - dedicated to the same cause as Buffy. To fight the good fight. Dark as some parts of his personality might be, he was a warrior of the light.

"I asked you to come tonight," Giles began, looking at each of the people in his room, one after one, "because of two things. The first is strictly business. As you may have realized or as I told you, the number of vampires has drastically increased in Sunnydale over the last few weeks.

"At the beginning I thought it was due to Buffy's... death," his voice faltered slightly, but he instantly caught himself. "But that hasn't changed since she's back on active duty. I think by now the vampire-grapevines should have informed everybody that the Slayer is back and with Angel by her side, she should be a serious threat to all of them.

"Yet the numbers aren't decreasing," he stopped and looked at them again. Then he put his glasses back on. "As we know, any serious change around the hell mouth always means trouble. Unfortunately I haven't figured out so far, what it could mean, but I've already conferred with Wesley about this and at the moment we are researching several possibilities."

"In a nutshell, you have no idea what might be standing at our door?"Buffy reached for her orange juice and gave her watcher an expectant gaze.

"Er... yes, I think that is the short version. But there is no doubt, that something is coming," Giles replied, his expression concerned.

"I've gotta agree with the watcher," Spike, who was occupying one of the bar-stools, leaning his elbows on the counter. Little Bit had informed him about today's meeting - none of the others had bothered - and so he'd left his self-chosen exile and his nice, empty crypt to join the ranks again. Well, actually, if he was honest, the crypt wasn't that nice. It was cold and wet and most of all, lonely. "The vamps are getting cockier around here. Met one tonight that had a serious death-wish.""That's number eight," Buffy turned slightly in her chair to exchange a glance with Angel, before she looked at Giles again. "We dusted six at the cemeteries and then on our way here, another one attacked us. But they weren't really dangerous. Some of them could have newly-made tagged on them, because they were so stupid. The first almost begged to be dusted, Angel just had to rise the stake and the vamp ran straight into it."

Buffy sipped from her drink, and studied the face of her watcher. On her way to his apartment she had fiercely pushed all private problems in a far corner of her mind, determined not to let anyone see how shaken she was by the things that had occurred between Angel and her in the cemetery. Still she had the feeling everyone would be able to read her thoughts the moment they looked at her. Like, 'hey I just kissed the man of my dreams, but he won't give us a chance.'

The man in question, or rather the vampire, of course, - **darn, the man** - had no such problems. His face was an impassive mask, none of his emotions visible on his features.

"There might be another aspect," Angel said thoughtful from his spot at the wall. It was the first time he spoke and everyone turned to look at him. His face was serious. "I talked to Gunn yesterday. Gunn is a friend of mine who works with us in L.A.," he explained.

"Charles Gunn," Cordelia piped. "He and a bunch of friends are hunting vampires as well."

"As I said," Angel continued, shooting the brunette a glance and barely suppressing a grin when he saw her making a face, "I talked to him yesterday. And he said that they hadn't encountered a vampire for three nights. They came across some demons, but all of them were peaceful. I didn't pay attention to it at first, but thinking about it now..." he trailed off giving Giles a pointed look.

"So what you're saying," Xander gazed at the vampire he had hated for so long, "is that there might be some kind of invasion of vampires? Now, that's just great. Why don't they make some nice shiny neon signs saying 'come to the hell mouth for your vacation, blood to the limit and lots of fun'."

"But we already know that vampires are attracted to the hell mouth," Willow tilted her head and looked at Giles, "I mean they're always coming with all the concentrated energy and stuff.""Yes, that's correct," the watcher stood up and went for one of his bookshelves, "but that doesn't explain what's happening now. There has to be an explanation." He found the book he'd been looking for and returned to his seat, "I've researched the Codex and all other material we have about prophecies, Wesley's has done the same." He frowned for a moment and gazed at Angel, "It seems that your selection of books is even better than mine."

He slightly shook his head, pushing the disturbing thought that a vampire was better equipped than he was, aside. Angel was 250 years old after all and for this had time to collect things. Still it wasn't all comfortable thinking that a vampire was in possession of such delicate material like the Scroll of Aberijan. Angel had a soul, but when he had managed to gain access to things like that, there was no reason a soulless demon couldn't do it as well.

"Anyways. The result is, there is no prophecy we could find to explain what's happening..."

"Thank God for that," Xander said and felt the others wholeheartedly agreed.

"Still," Giles shot him a stern glance, "that doesn't bode well."

"Just that we have no idea what we're going against," Buffy leaned back in her chair. "Why doesn't that make me feel better?"

"Dawn?" Angel pushed himself off of the wall and looked at the slayer's sister who had been uncommonly quiet the whole evening. Now she looked down at her lap, not willing to meet the other's eyes. Buffy's head jerked around at the mention of her sister's name. "Dawnie?" she asked. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," the girl mumbled, still not looking up.

"You can tell us," Angel said softly, stopping in front of her chair, then crouching down beside her. "What's the matter?"

"Well... I..." she frowned and bit her lower lip, cursing the way she'd been brought into the world. "I... I just thought, what if... they're coming for me again?"

"For you?" Xander straightened on the sofa.

"Why would you think that?" the dark-haired vampire inquired.

She shrugged, her eyes still cast downward, "Glory did. And then Buffy..." she trailed off and Angel could see a tear falling on her hands that were tightly entwined in her lap, the knuckles white."No," he said quietly, "I don't think so. Glory was the only one interested in 'the key'. She could use it to gain access to her dimension. I don't see why any vampire would be in need of that kind of power. But even if they were," he reached out and covered her small hands with one of his large, "we're all here with you and we make sure nobody's going to hurt you ... or Buffy."

"You can't promise that," she replied hoarsely.

He breathed deeply, "No, I can't," he said honestly and from the corner of his eye he saw Buffy smile, "But we'll do our very best. If it's necessary I'll call my friends from L.A." When she finally looked up, her cheeks streaked with tears, he smiled at her, "And you know how the vampires fear Wesley."

Something between a sob and a laugh escaped her throat. "Oh Angel," she smiled, "I'm so glad you're here," she told him and then wrapped her arms around his neck. "Just having you here makes me feel so much better."

He held her close for a moment, "I'm glad to hear that," he whispered. Pulling back he glanced at his grand-childe, "And then there's still Spike. He might be..." Angel grinned when he saw the expression on the blond vampire's face," ... a little bit... how do I say it..."

"I've got a bloody chip," Spike growled, "just say it the way it is. Those stupid soldier boys disabled me, but that doesn't mean I can't beat some evil vampires," he said, emphasizing the word 'evil' as a reference to the conversation he and his grand-sire had recently had in the crypt.

Angel grinned, "You heard him," he said to Dawn, taking her chin between thumb and forefinger. "Whatever comes our way, we're going to face it. Okay?"

She nodded, now smiling as well, "Okay," her voice was much firmer now.

Buffy reached out and put a hand on her sister's knee and the two girls smiled at each other. Then Angel got up from his position beside Dawn and his eyes went to Giles, "You said there were two thing?"

"Oh," the watcher seemed a bit startled at the abrupt change of subjects, but he nodded, "Yes, indeed there was another thing we need to talk about." When he saw he had everyone's attention, he continued, "This might come as a shock to some of you, but the Watcher's Council has contacted me. You all know that I had my problems with the organization, and I still doubt that all the things they believe and do are right and honorable, but on the other hand I've also learned that it isn't enough to just criticize, you have to try and change things.

"So far, I didn't see a chance to do that, but now the opportunity has occurred. To make a long story short, they have offered me a seat in the Council. It's not just some position, but that of the vice-president. I think it has a lot to do with Buffy's success as a slayer that has seem to woken up them up and are willing to discuss their ancient rules about calling and training slayers as well as the point that The Slayer has to work entirely on her own."

He looked at Buffy and saw her watching him intensely, "To finish this long speech, I want to tell you that I'm considering to accept their offer."

Silence settled over the room for several seconds, then everyone was talking at once.

"Bloody Hell..."

"Giles? You really want to leave us, but..."

"Hey, G-man, longing for good old England..."

"Buffy?" the watcher looked at his slayer, the girl closest to a child, he'd never had. "What about you?" he asked ignoring all the others.

"I... uh..." she bit her lower lip much in the same way, her sister had done just before. "It's a great opportunity, I guess," she said evasively. "Would I... I mean, who would be my watcher then?" The blond didn't like the idea of him leaving. She didn't remember him from the time before her memory loss, but she'd grown fond of him over the weeks and Willow had assured her that she and Giles had been sharing some sort of father-daughter-relationship in the past.

"I've already thought about it," Giles replied gently, "and come to the conclusion, that it wouldn't make sense to install someone completely unfamiliar to you. I know that at the moment that makes no sense, but I'd rather see someone helping you who is already familiar with the special... problems around here.

"I've talked to the Council about that, and we agreed that *if* I should accept their offer, Wesley should be offered his former position as your watcher. I also talked to him about that subject and he is willing to help. I know you both had your differences at the beginning, although you don't remember it. But I've seen personally that he has changed a lot and that working with Angel in L.A. has made him much more open-minded. So I think he would be the right choice."

He looked over Buffy's head and caught Angel's eyes, "I also know that Wesley is an important part of your agency and helps a lot with research. But I don't see a problem in this. As Buffy's watcher research would still be his main task and there is no reason why he can't do that from L.A. as well. Again, he is willing to do that and for the time being I believe it to be the best possible solution."

"I have no problem with that," Angel smiled at Giles, "If Wesley wants to be Buffy's watcher, I'm happy for him."

"Oh, he's going to love that," Cordelia chirped, "Books are his life, although I have to say that he's improved his fighting skills."

"You mean he doesn't scream like a girl anymore?" Xander asked with a grin.

"Only sometimes," the brunette shot back. "But seriously, Giles is right. He's changed a lot. I think you'd like him now." She paused for a moment, then added, "We do."

She shared a very private smile with Angel at that and the vampire nodded, "As I said, I have no problem with that. But I'd say that Buffy should have a say in this. A slayer like her shouldn't just get any watcher she doesn't agree with," he rounded the blonde's chair and looked down at her.

Her head came up and their eyes met, "I... I'm not sure what to say. The problem is that I'm still missing a lot of things, but... Do you think he would be a good watcher for me?"

"Yes," he replied honestly. "I think he would be the best choice, if Giles won't be available any longer."

She looked at him for several more moments, then nodded and turned to Giles, "Okay then, I agree with Wesley. That's his name, right?"

"Yes. Buffy, I know you don't like the idea at the moment," the watcher smiled at her. "And I'm not leaving tonight or tomorrow. My decision isn't even final yet. So there's enough time to get used to it. And maybe," his smile grew, "you'll get your memories back long before then."

The slayer nodded again, knowing that there wasn't a lot she could say. Giles seemed to be excited about the possibilities to be a member of the Council and she trusted Angel. When he said that Wesley was the right choice, she was sure he was. Besides, if Wesley was her watcher and he was still working in L.A. then there was always a reason to drop by and see Angel. .

Go to Part 13