Spoilers: Up to and including Sanctuary for Angel and whatever the corresponding time is in Buffy, I think it's Wild at Heart.
Rating: An Angsty G
Distribution: Just let me know and it's yours :)
Disclaimer: As usual nothing here is owned by me, rather the devil incarnate himself Joss Whedon and his evil helpers WB, fox et al.
Author's note: After watching Sanctuary last night I HAD to write this before my muse would let me sleep, it's just my angsty view on why I think Buffy acted the way she did, I may do an Angel view, if you guys want.
Feedback: I would love some, to see what everyone else thought when watching this eppy.
Dedication: For Cat and freda who are M.I.A and very missed and for Suja, I know it's not fluff but I'm trying fingers crossed for later this week.

POLICE HOUSE

I waited for you, did you know that? I stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for you to come after me, so I could apologise and you could tell me that you didn't mean it.

As I waited my heart beat echoed with your last phrase to me, you know the one you spat at me with those eyes flashing nothing but contempt at me "Go home".

But you never came, you let her come between us yet again, this time knowingly too and that's what shattered me the most, made me lash out as I did. You more than anyone, you are the ONLY one who knew all of what she has done to me. To us. For the first time in my life I opened up to you months ago and told you how insecure she made me, how she threatened my sense of self. You told me, do you remember, that I could trust you, all I ever had to do was ask if I was unsure, that you didn't play games, that she wasn't your type. Remember?

Well I guess when it all boils down, you two are linked in a way I can never share, something which I will never be a part of. I get it now, I didn't before I admit that. You see yourself in her, a soul struggling to turn the corner, do the right thing, to be free. and I guess that's all that matters to you know, that helping her with that struggle means more to you than love, than me.

Well I can't say I think it's worth the price, worth sacrificing love for. Unlike you I don't believe that Faith's ready to change. But I know you disagree so you'll keep helping her, no matter how many times she betrays you, until it kills you, until SHE kills you.

You know you have changed, and I didn't want to see it, and although I never contemplated ever having to say it, I don't know whether I would trust you with my life...today.

Who did you come to save on the roof, me, her ? if the choice came who would you choose, the Angel I knew would never even need a nanosecond to answer that, but I know today you would. I still reassure myself that I think you would choose me, but it breaks my heart as I stand here to know that you would have to think.

Me, well it's no choice, despite what I said. If it came down to a choice between you and Riley, I'd use him as a human shield to protect if it protected you, no question. Why, because I love you, simple really. Despite all you requests for me to move on and in spite of what I said to you upstairs you still and will always mean more to me than everyone else on the planet I love combined.

I thought you still felt the same, despite us being separated, being apart. But as I realise you're not coming after me, I guess you don't, anymore. I guess time really changes everything, at least for you.

Ok for my own sanity I have to believe that this was Buffy's thought process as she left cause the Buffy I loved watching would never have that type of run in with Angel and just get over it. So you can disagree, it's just my opinion. :)

Go to the companion, Time Changes (Angel's POV)

Send feedback to Kathryn

Back to the Fanfiction Archive