Part 9

They sat in silence for a while. Both slightly uneasy at the difficult situation they found themselves in.

Although Buffy had stated she wasn't that hungry, Angel watched in amusement as she demolished a whole plate of bacon, scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes and three pieces of buttered toast. He remained silent but secretly he was pleased to see her tucking into her food so enthusiastically.

He recalled how his heart sank when he first discovered her in that hospital bed. It wasn't just her injuries from the accident that had caused him to shiver, Buffy's whole body cried out that the last three months had been as hard on her as they had been on him. Wherever Buffy had run to, it hadn't treated her well.

"That was delicious, where did you learn to cook like that?" Buffy asked the question in a soft, easy voice, trying to keep the mood as light as possible.

"My sister Cordelia taught me. We both moved to LA at the same time and shared an apartment for a while" At the thought of his sister's cooking abilities, Angel smiled and his features relaxed.

"Your sister? Where is she now? Does she live here with us?" Buffy asked hesitantly, not sure if she was ready to deal with another new face.

"No, Cordy's in Hollywood. She's an actress at the moment, trying to make a name for herself." Angel paused for a second noticing Buffy's concern. She didn't need to speak, by now he could almost read her mind.

" You don't remember her either?" He frowned with disappointment already guessing the answer.

Buffy shook her head.

"Sorry" She looked back at him " Were we close friends?"

At her question Angel laughed out loud.

"Hardly, I think you two hated each other on sight. She didn't think you were good enough for her big brother, and you, well you thought she was a stuck up bitch with a bug up her ass the size of an emu." Angel chuckled lightly remembering the heated arguments between the two women he loved. His wife and sister could cat fight like no other females he'd ever known.

Buffy was momentarily speechless; his explanation wasn't anything she'd expected to hear. At her shocked statement Angel smiled.

"You soon proved my little sister wrong"

He turned towards the sink and when he looked back Buffy was standing next to him holding her empty plate.

"How did I prove her wrong?" She asked curiously, eager to lean anything about her past that could possibly fill in the blank pages of her memory.

Angel went quiet for a moment, as if struggling with truth. When he did finally answer Buffy couldn't fail to notice the flicker of regret in his dark brown eyes.

"You made me happy, Buffy. Happier than I'd ever been in my whole life. Even Cordelia couldn't argue with what was plainly staring her in the face. You never really became good friends, but I think after a while you came to a understanding." Angel explained quietly, and then silently added **Until you walked out on me and broke my heart. Now she wants your blood with a vengeance** He kept that information to himself. Cordelia wouldn't be visiting any time soon and Buffy didn't need to know how much his sister now hated her.

**You made me happy, Buffy. Happier than I'd ever been before**

For a few moments his words hung in the air.

When they both finally found the courage to look up, their eyes locked and after a heartbeat, Buffy took a small step forward, closing the distance that separated them.

"I wish I could remember. I want to remember" She sighed wishfully, her eyes never once leaving his face. By now their bodies were so close that Angel could feel the heat radiating from skin.

"I wish you could too" His dark gaze bore directly into Buffy's eyes.

Angel's soft words were so low that Buffy had to strain to hear them. As she felt her chest tighten, she realised she was still holding her breath. Her cheeks flushed scarlet but she refused to look away. After a moment's hesitation, Angel did.

"Here give me that, I'll put it in the dishwasher" He took the plate from her hand and resisted the temptation to touch her fingers. Angel knew if he touched her today, after fighting all night to keep away from her door, he'd be lost forever. He had to try harder, he had to fight the need that tore at his chest like an open wound and forget how soft her body felt in his arms. He needed to find the closure he'd searched so hard for, and then once he had it, he'd put this woman behind him once and for all.

Buffy turned to walk away but as she took her first step she stopped.

"What happened to my clothes? I mean all the hangers in my room are empty" She asked, trying not to react to his nearness.

Keeping his back to her, Angel bit into his lip.

"I already told you, you took them all with you" His voice remained calm but his heartbeat increased and pounded loudly in his ears.

Buffy didn't speak for a moment as she carefully digested the answer.

"I took *everything* I ever owned on a trip?" She finally asked in disbelief.

"You threw out a lot before you left. You said you wanted to change your image. Looks like you got your wish" Slipping the dish he was still holding into the dishwasher, Angel lied well. He didn't want to tell his wife that he'd destroyed nearly all her belongings in a drunken rage about a month after she'd walked out on him. It was easier to let her believe she took them all with her.

**After all, like her letter had painfully reminded him. It wasn't like she ever planned to come back for them**

"So all I have left now are the clothes I'm standing in?" Buffy frowned at the realisation. It came as another painful blow. Something else to add to the long list of what she had lost.

**Memories, feelings, and now even her belongings had all disappeared into a black vortex. How could she ever remember her past when there was nothing left of that past for her to cling too**

Reaching into his back pocket Angel withdrew his wallet, he flicked it open and while he was searching for a credit card a small photograph fell on to the kitchen table. Angel immediately reached for it but Buffy got there first. Turning it over in her fingers her eyes settled on the happy smiling faces staring back at her.

**Wow!.. It's us ** Her eyes widened in surprise.

The two people looked so happy that the emotion leapt out from the picture and reached deep into her heart. Somewhere, somehow they had thrown away something so special it frightened her.

Angel waited a few seconds before reaching for the picture.

"A few clothes are the least of your problems, Buffy. Here, take this and charge anything you need" He offered his small credit card and when Buffy looked up she couldn't read anything in his dark eyes. If she could, she would have seen both guilt and embarrassment that he had acted so childishly in a moment of weakness. But Angel hid his feelings well.

**Besides, all I destroyed were a few stupid possessions, you destroyed my life.** He bitterly reminded himself as he retrieved his picture.

Buffy's heart was racing but she released the photograph without uttering a word.

Without looking at her, Angel continued, his voice once again cold and uncaring

"Shopping was always one of your favourite pastimes, I'm sure you haven't forgotten how you love to spend my money" He smirked as he replaced his wallet.

Buffy felt as if she'd been slapped.

The thoughtless remark was one reminder too many of everything she had forgotten. Looking at the credit card on the table she finally started to crumble.

**Here, take this and charge anything you need.. I'm sure you haven't forgotten how you love to spend my money**

" You make it all sound so easy, but its not" She whispered trying desperately to hold herself together. Hot salty tears burned the back of her throat and quickly rose to brim in her eyes.

"Just give them the card, Buffy, the shop assistants will do the rest" Angel repeated wearily not yet noticing how badly she was reacting to such a simple statement.

"I can't.. Dammit, I can't walk very well and I can't remember where the shops are.. I can't remember my size and I... Hell, I can't remember what day it is.... " Buffy stood still and the tears she had held inside her, ever since the accident, burst their banks and streamed down her face as she finally broke down and cried.

Within a heartbeat, Angel was wrapping her up in his arms and soothing her pain with gentle words of comfort.

"I need to remember..." The desperate plea was heartbreaking in its simplicity.

"And you will" Angel reminded her softly as he continued to stroke her damp hair. He knew he was playing with fire, she was too close and she felt so right back in his arms. But it didn't matter, he hated seeing his wife this vulnerable. As Buffy's small body shook with her pain, Angel ignored the consequences and held her tighter.

"Just give it time" He offered softly, his voice conveying his own feelings of helplessness

**Give it time. Don't rush things. It will all come back when it's ready.** As Buffy stood in the cradle of his strong arms, his earlier words of reassurance returned in a rush. Buffy struggled against the rising depression inside her head but she was slowly suffocating. Words simply didn't help. She needed more than reassuring words she needed answers.

It was hopeless. Lost so far in the darkness, Buffy felt as if she was slowly going out of her mind, she simply couldn't take it one second longer. That was the moment her patience finally snapped.

"I'm sick of giving it time. Can't you see how lost I am here? I'm hurt, I'm lonely, I'm afraid... Dammit, Angel I want my life back and I want it back now..."

At her unexpected outburst, Angel pulled away and stared at her face in shock. Buffy had used his pet name for the first time. Just hearing her say the word affected him more then he thought possible. No matter how much of her life she had lost, he knew then that somewhere in that void of her memory, part of him was still in her heart.

**Angel I want my life back ** Her desperate plea broke his heart.

"I'd give it to you if I could, Buffy" He answered truthfully. Raising his hand Angel tried to sweep the teardrops from her cheek. His fingertips tingled as they slid across the velvet softness of her skin. He couldn't resist letting them follow the contours of her cheekbone even though he knew it was a dangerous indulgence.

**I'd give it to you if I could, Buffy** At that moment she honestly believed him.

"I know" Buffy whispered back suddenly realising how close their bodies had become. Looking into his face she noticed that his normally harsh features suddenly seemed incredibly kind. She felt hot tears burn the back of her throat again and cursed her weakness. Buffy didn't want him to see her cry anymore but it was too late... Far too late.

Everything around them seemed to go still.

"I want to remember my childhood, my mother putting me to bed at night. I want to remember going to school, making friends, falling in love...." Her voice cracked, a sob catching in her throat

"I want to remember you, Angel and I desperately need to remember that girl in the photograph" Buffy sniffed quietly

Angel's statement softened as his hand slipped from her face and moved to circle her tiny waist. She looked so young and lovely that he would have needed a heart of stone to remain immune for a second longer.

Warning bells went off in his head, but he ignored them and felt the barriers he'd so carefully erected around his bruised heart, over the last three months, start to erode and crumble. Everything inside his head screamed that this was wrong but the lonely beat of his heart drowned their protest.

"Maybe this will help you remember" Angel gave up the battle he'd fought so hard, to hate her, and swept Buffy up against his hard chest. Lowering his mouth he captured her lips and softly kissed her.

The kiss was warm, intimate and yet surprisingly gentle as his mouth caressed her lips. Buffy involuntary sighed and Angel's tongue slipped softly into the wet interior of her mouth. As the kiss deepened, Buffy closed her eyes and moaned.

**How could I have ever forgotten something as wonderful as kissing? No, as wonderful as kissing Liam?** Buffy's heart called for to her subconscious to remember. As his tongue reacquainted itself with her mouth Angel pulled her closer into his arms.

Buffy didn't know what she was feeling, returning memory or just amazing chemistry, but his hard muscular body felt so right pressing into her soft flesh that she didn't argue as she melted into his arms.

As the hunger inside her grew, her small arms automatically wrapped themselves around his neck and her whole body ached to push closer.

**Oh, God, why can't I remember you? **

With that thought, Buffy felt a warm rush of arousal and cursed bitterly that her body and heart seemed to remember what her mind still refused to acknowledge. It didn't matter what her head told her, her body and her heart both knew him, and they knew him well.

Before she could gather her senses, the situation changed drastically and Buffy felt her back lowered down to the hard kitchen table. The coffee cups scattered noisily across the floor as Angel's large body covered hers. As she kissed him back, he murmured in pleasure and pressed her harder into the cool wooden tabletop.

"Buffy" Angel softly moaned her name as his lips pulled away from her mouth and moved to the soft flesh of her neck. It was only when his large hand slipped smoothly beneath her shirt that the spell was broken. Buffy came back to earth with a jolt. This was wrong. No matter how wonderful it felt, it was far too soon. There was no way she could make love to a man she didn't remember, a man she didn't even know if she liked.

**But your body knows him, your blood's screaming for him to touch you** Her heart tried to reason but common sense prevailed.

"No. Liam not like this" Buffy struggled and pushed at his chest with her small hands

Feeling her sudden resistance, Angel immediately backed off. His hands were shaking and his heart raced as he realised just how close he had been to letting Buffy into his heart again. At the fear he saw in her eyes he quickly moved away.

"Did I hurt you?" Angel voice was hoarse and tight with disappointment. He knew she was still covered in bruises and he cursed himself for not remembering how fragile she still was.

"No" The tiny word was barely a whisper. Buffy looked up and her eyes reflected the turmoil she felt.

Angel shuddered, a cold shiver passing over his heart. He took a deep breath but it did nothing to ease the raging tension that was knotting his insides.

**You damn fool, she still doesn't want you** Angel suddenly felt sick at the mistake he'd just made.

"I'm sorry. I'm... Buffy, believe me, this won't happen again " Turning, he quickly left the room leaving Buffy to deal with what had just happened between them.

When Buffy finally pulled herself together and readjusted her clothes, she found him in the sitting room; hands thrust deep into his pockets, staring out of the window. His back was to her and her mind flashed back to the first vision she had of him, days earlier, standing in her hospital room. His broad shoulders hunched slightly then, only this time his shirt was white, not black.

"I'm not sure what just happened?" Buffy whispered, her cheeks still flushed with embarrassment.

Buffy felt herself start shaking but knew she had to continue.

" It was my fault, it won't happen again" Angel spoke quietly without looking round, His voice was cold now and etched in pain.

Buffy gazed at his back, weighing her next words carefully.

"Liam, I understand what you were trying to do and in a way it worked. I still haven't remembered anything more but I can feel things now that I didn't feel before. I can feel you..."

"Don't..." Angel slowly turned around, pain slashed across his face.

He couldn't bear to hear where this was leading. The kiss had left him confused and shaken and he really needed to get as far away from Buffy as he possibly could. But just the sight of her pleading eyes kept him from fleeing.

"Please, I know how hard this must be for you but I need you to understand. This is driving me crazy." Buffy implored him with both her words and her eyes.

Angel nodded, acknowledging her words and the despair behind them.

"Okay, Buffy. I'm not sure if this will help but I'll give you the answers you need" He sighed sadly and walked away from the window.

**Maybe it was time she found out just who she really was. **

*****

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Angel asked as they settled down in the sitting room.

Buffy nodded her face full of determination.

"I'm more than sure. I need to find out how much of me is still inside here, if anything at all." she said raising her hand and tapping the side of head. The panic was gone from her voice. Sadness and confusion now replaced it.

Angel lifted the small remote control and aiming it at the TV set in the corner of the room, he pressed the play button. In a flash the television screen was filled with happy voices and smiling faces.

It was a bright sunny day and the small group of people that filled the screen was all dressed up for a wedding. Buffy edged to the front of her seat as her eyes widened in amazement.

" This is our wedding day?" It was a question not a statement. As beautiful as the day looked she had no memory of ever attending the wedding. Angel sat back in his seat and kept his voice as expressionless as possible. Even though he was dying for her to remember, he knew that if this were going to work, the memories would have to be triggered by Buffy's own mind.

"Yeah, I thought a video would be better than a few photos in an album.. Besides, everyone you care about was there that day, it might help"

Buffy hovered on the edge of her seat, unable to control her excitement, as an array of happy young faces laughed from the TV screen. One by one, friends and family fidgeted nervously at the camera and stuttered their best wishes for the bride and groom.

Faces that were now vaguely familiar caused little sparks to flash in the dark void of her memory.

"No, stop filming me Xander, turn the camera on Buffy" a female voice ordered and the camera immediately changed direction.

Before Buffy got a chance to ask who the voice belonged to, the image of her younger self entered the picture. Buffy's mouth dropped open, the girl wearing her face in the video looked simply radiant as she floated across the room looking like something out of a fairytale. The elegant gown gently hugged every curve of her perfect body before pooling out around her feet. Watching how her full breasts pushed up against the soft lace Buffy realised with a strange pang, that she certainly hadn't always looked like a bag of bones.

"Buffy, this way, smile" The camera man laughed, obviously a friend.

If Buffy thought that image shocked her, the next left her stunned. Liam, dressed in a black tuxedo, appeared by her side. His long arms snaked around her waist and lovingly pressed soft kisses to her neck. Buffy felt her breath leave her body. He couldn't keep his hands off her. As the camera moved in closer it captured his eyes perfectly, and the love they reflected made her shiver.

"You were so beautiful that day. When you walked into that church you took everyone's breath away" Angel's voice trailed off in remembrance.

**But none more than mine** He added silently

Buffy smiled with relief, she couldn't help herself as family and friends danced around the happy couple on the screen.

"Oh, God, look at Dawnie" Heart racing, Buffy gasped as her sister came into view. The beautiful young woman, with long dark hair laughed brightly and she tried to arrange her sister's dress.

Angel didn't speak but silently sighed in relief that at least one face from her past had broken though the mist. Remaining quietly by her side, his eyes took in the rapid play of emotions that crossed her face.

Buffy then watched as she and her new husband took to the floor for the first dance and when Angel kissed her, the question that hadn't been answered for her on the plane trip home was clear for the whole world to see.

**And did I love you? **

The young woman in the fairytale wedding dress adored him. Buffy's eyes watched in awe as her younger self wrapped her arms around her lover and held him as if she never wanted to let him go. There was no doubt about it. She had been head over heels in love on her wedding day and just one glance at Angel's happy smiling face confirmed he had felt the same.

"Who's that girl?" A face in the video caught her eye.

"Which one?"

"The small blonde one catching my bouquet" Buffy watched as the pretty blonde woman pushed through the small group of females to catch the bouquet of delicate yellow roses.

Angel moved closer and Buffy felt her heart react to his nearness. As his eyes picked out the woman in question a small smile turned the corners of his lips.

"That's your best friend" He chuckled lightly at Buffy's bemused statement.

Buffy shook her head.

"No, I don't think so. Willow's my best friend, there she is, the red head with the long skirt in the background"

Angel turned and caught the gleam in Buffy's eyes as another piece of the jigsaw fell into place.

"You remembered Willow as well?" He asked hopefully.

"I do, but there's more" She bit deep into her lip as she continued to receive the small flash of memory.

" Xander Harris. Willow married Xander and it rained all day.. Right?" Buffy was still a little unsure but even though the memory was vague, it felt right.

Angel sucked in a breath.

"Yes, they married a month before we did. They're both in Africa at the moment, Willow's studying alternative medicine"

Buffy smiled, warm tears gathered in her eyes as she remembered more about her two friends. Xander's goofy smile came to mind along with Willow's compassion.

Turning back to the TV screen she tried to search her mind for answers to her first question.

"So, who's the blonde woman with my flowers?" Her voice grew slightly suspicious.

Angel turned his face back to the video and studied the screen.

"That's Darla, Buffy. Darla Penn. You've been friends with Darla since you were five years old." Angel smiled softly as he remembered Buffy telling him about her childhood, one stormy night just after they had first met.

"You told me she broke your favourite Barbie doll so you punched her across the school yard. After the teachers pulled you apart for fighting, you shook hands and became close friends. "

Buffy didn't speak; her eyes were too busy watching how the blonde woman in the expensive white suit lingered around Liam on the screen.

**Best friend my ass**

Something didn't feel right. She could now remember Willow, Xander, her mother and Dawnie quite clearly.

But not her husband who she had obviously loved dearly and, strangely, not this Darla who was supposedly, her best friend.

No matter how hard Buffy searched her memory, the face of this young woman stayed lost deep in the darkest corner of her mind.

Looking back towards the television screen, she continued to watch the rest of the video in silence, but underneath her calm exterior, uneasiness started to grow. .

Part 10.

Angel watched as Buffy rewound the video and pressed the play button for the fifth time in succession. As they sat silently on the sofa, so close and yet so far, he didn't once interrupt, understanding her need to continually relive their wedding day. He could see from the tears shimmering in her beautiful eyes that the memories repeating on the screen gave her comfort, some small flicker of light to cling on to in her new dark world.

With every smile, giggle, laugh or sigh one of her friends or family made, Buffy seemed to grow more confident, drawing strength and determination from each memory that battled its way through the amnesia. Every now and again she would gasp out loud as a new piece of the jigsaw puzzle slotted into place.

From the excited statement on her face, Angel could see that his wife now believed there really was a chance that she would one day reclaim her life from the vortex it had fallen into.

**And when that day comes, I will finally be able to reclaim mine**

Although it had become his dearest wish over the last three months to discover the truth, Angel found the prospect now gave him little joy. He understood only too well that when Buffy did finally remember her past, their life together would change forever.

Meanwhile, as Buffy sat quietly mesmerised by the faces from her past, she had absolutely no idea what those same visions were doing to Angel. If she had, she would have seen that the memories coming from the video tore into him so fiercely that he almost cried out in pain.

It wasn't Buffy's fault. She wasn't to know that seeing her younger self, smiling at him with eyes so full of love, was ripping his heart to shreds. She was blissfully ignorant of the fact that every time their lips met on the screen, the quiet man sitting so patiently by her side, longed desperately to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless.

Looking away from the screen, as they became man and wife for the fifth time, Angel knew he had to get away. He had to get out of the house and put as much distance between him and the past as was possible.

"Will you be okay for a few hours? I have a few things I need to do" Angel asked quietly as the picture on the screen changed. Now the bride and groom were kissing again and he knew that if you listened very carefully you could hear the younger Buffy moan passionately as his mouth covered hers.

For his broken heart, it was just one memory too many.

Hearing Angel's soft words, Buffy tore her eyes away from the kiss and stared into his eyes. For a moment the fear she felt at being left on her own reflected in her hazel orbs but she quickly shut it out. She was home, there was nothing here to be frightened of she quickly reassured herself.

"Sure. I'll just watch this video again. " Buffy smiled knowing that her earlier thought had been foolish. Now that her memories had started to return she hoped it wouldn't be much longer before the house she was staying in stopped being just a strange house and became her home again.

**And maybe then I'll remember you ** The little voice in her head added almost wistfully.

"I really should check in at the office and let them know I'm back" Without looking at her Angel stood up and silently crossed the room. Slipping a black leather jacket over his broad shoulders he reached for his car keys and as the video started to rewind for the umpteenth time, he walked out of the room. Although she didn't move from her seat, Buffy stared at the empty doorway for a long time after he was gone. It surprised her how much his absence left her feeling empty. She still might not have clear memories of living with this man, but her feelings towards him were growing stronger by the second. With nothing better to do, Buffy pressed the remote control and started the video one more time.

*****

Angel was gone longer than he expected and it was dark when he finally walked through the front door. As he moved into the hallway, his arms were once again loaded with expensive looking shopping bags, which he dropped happily into the corner before removing his jacket. It was only after he closed and locked the door that the silence greeted him. Angel stood still and fought down the unexpected wave of panic that rose in his throat and burned the back of his mouth. This was how the house had felt for the last three months. Lonely, empty and bare.

**And when she leaves you again, It will feel like this forever** his heart whispered into the stillness that surrounded him.

**Unless you take this second chance**

Walking into the kitchen he pulled open the refrigerator door and stood in the shaft of cool light it reflected across the kitchen floor. Removing a carton of juice, Angel poured himself a glass and swallowed the cool liquid quickly.

**A second chance**

All night long he had considered the possibility. The wedding video had affected him more than he thought possible and although he'd walked for hours trying to get the anger back into his heart. He couldn't. Lying was no longer an option, he couldn't lie, not to Buffy and - more importantly - not to himself.

Whatever had driven her away from him that night, there had to be a way they could make it right.

**You don't just wake up one morning and stop loving somebody** Angel rationalised with his conscience. **Not the way they had loved each other**

As soon as Buffy remembered what had caused her to write that letter, he was determined they would work it out. They had to work it out because life without Buffy, as the last three months had shown, was unbearable.

Finishing the juice, Angel walked into the sitting room. He was just about to leave and head for his bed when he came to an abrupt halt. On the far side of the room, Buffy lay curled up on the sofa fast asleep.

Hesitating for a moment in the doorway he stopped and let out a deep sigh of regret.

She looked so utterly adorable that his heart constricted and he was swamped with a rush of emotions he could no longer control. Without conscious thought Angel stood totally still as he continued to watch her sleep.

Within seconds his hungry eyes raked over her small curled body, taking in how her cheek rested peacefully on the palm of her hand and the way her full lips parted slightly with each new breath she inhaled. Unable to stop himself, Angel moved closer. Dropping on to his knees, he knelt by her sleeping head and, raising his hand, he started to sweep a stray lock of hair away from her face.

After a few seconds, Buffy murmured softly and opened her sleepy hazel eyes.

"Liam?"

Angel almost moaned out loud. She had no idea how delectable she looked at that moment, all soft and warm with sleep. Not wanting to startle her, he kept all trace of the emotion he was feeling out of his voice.

"That's not the most comfortable place to spend the night" He teased lightly.

"I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?" Buffy yawned and raised her hand to cover her mouth.

Angel smiled softly.

Struggling to sit up, Buffy ran a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face.

"It's late. I ran into Lindsey and we went for a drink" Angel replied quietly and reaching over to the small table on his right, he switched on the table lamp. At once a gentle glow filled the room, falling softly across Buffy's face.

"Lindsey?" Buffy thought hard for a moment but she failed to recognise the name. Shaking her head after a few seconds, she gave up in defeat.

Angel understood the look of confusion; he had seen it on her face continually over the last few days.

"Lindsey Macdonald and I used to work for Wolfram and Hart in LA. When I left, after the case with your father, Lindsey came with me and we set up a law practice together here in Sunnydale" As he repeated the story, Angel smiled softly and Buffy couldn't fail to notice the change in his features. The anger and bitterness that she'd often sensed in him since waking up in hospital, seemed to have faded from his face. For the time being anyway.

"I remember you telling me about Wolfram and Hart, but I don't think you mentioned Lindsey. What's he like?"

"He's a bit of a roughneck but he's a good man to have on your side in a fight"

Angel laughed, remembering his encounter with his best friend.

Lindsey had found him, earlier that evening, sitting in Willie's bar nursing a small untouched glass of whiskey and a large heavy heart. Dropping his briefcase on the floor next to the bar stool, the good looking young lawyer, exhausted from a long day in court, sat down quietly beside his friend at the bar.

"So, you decided to come back after all " The soft familiar drawl of Lindsey Macdonald's voice caused Angel to look up from his drink and realise that he was no longer sitting on his own.

"Yeah, I flew in last night" Angel quietly replied without giving any more details away than was necessary. Lindsey was his best friend as well as his partner in the law firm they shared, but after the week Angel had just had, he wasn't in the mood to share his feelings, not with anybody.

If Lindsey was offended he didn't show it.

As Angel turned his head, Lindsey immediately noticed the dark circles surrounding his friend's eyes and knew that the trip to New York had really taken it's toll. Months with hardly any sleep and continual worry had finally caught up and Liam's once, lively dark eyes now looked haunted as they stared back at him.

When Willie approached placing a second glass next to Angel's, Lindsey indicated for him to leave the bottle he was holding and give them some privacy.

"From the look on your face I'm taking it was bad news. Wrong girl?" He asked pouring a small measure of golden liquid into the empty glass in front of him. Angel continued to stare at his own untouched glass without making any attempt to lift it.

"No, it was Buffy alright. She was slightly hurt in the accident but considering most of the other passengers on the coach were killed, she was extremely lucky" Angel spoke quietly with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"I'm sensing a large *but* here" Lindsey knew his friend too well. After working together for over four years he understood when Liam Angelus was holding back.

"She has amnesia" Angel sighed wearily.

"No shit!.. That's convenient" Lindsey laughed but there was no humour in his voice. He had witnessed his friend's agony these last few months and knew how desperately Liam needed to find Buffy and discover what had driven her away. "So how much memory has she lost"

Angel looked back down at the bar, noticing how the liquid in his glass changed colour when the light hit it.

"About 90%, although earlier she showed signs of recovering some of it." Angel look a deep breath before he found the strength to continue.

" She just doesn't remember me" This time there was a touch of real bitterness about the words.

"Is she faking it?" Lindsey asked suspiciously.

With a sigh, Angel shook his head. "No, I wish she were but no. It's too real, her eyes wouldn't be able to lie that well.." His voice trailed off, as he visualised the look of panic and grief that had covered Buffy's face from the second she had opened her eyes in that hospital bed.

An awkward silence fell over the two men as they both took in the enormity of the problem.

In the end it was Lindsey that asked the question haunting both their minds

"Now you have her back, what are you going to do?"

Angel wrapped his long fingers around the small glass that had sat in front of him for the last two hours and, finally, raising it to his lips he swallowed the warm liquid down in one smooth gulp.

**What was he going to do** That really was the million dollar question, and suddenly he no longer had an answer to it.

Closing his eyes and shutting out the noise of the bar, Angel's thoughts drifted to Buffy. He found himself thinking of her hair, her smile, the way she laughed when she was happy and the way her small face creased up and trembled when she cried. He remembered with a heavy heart the way her soft mouth tasted when they kissed and how her perfect body melted into his when they made love.

It all felt like a lifetime ago.

As his friend struggled for an answer, Lindsey didn't press. He knew he had to let Liam find the solution to this problem on his own.

Toying with his empty glass, the young lawyer sat quietly on the barstool as Angel's tormented mind covered every possibility.

In the end he gave the only answer he knew.

" I honestly don't know" Angel crumbled and the pain he had been hiding from Buffy saturated his deep voice. In the company of his best friend he was finally able to show his real feelings.

"Cordy said I should kick her out once and for all. Even Darla thinks the relationship is over"

" Darla?" Lindsey didn't even bother to hide his dislike of the small blonde woman who was supposedly Buffy's friend but spent most of her time chasing after her husband. It was no secret that he'd never trusted her.

On the other hand, he had always liked Buffy Angelus; he liked her fighting spirit and envied the way she adored his best friend. Their marriage had looked so solid that it had shocked everyone who knew them when it all fell apart.

**Except maybe Darla**

"Are you sure Darla doesn't have an ulterior motive?" Lindsey asked carefully, not sure how close Liam and this woman had become, especially after the last few months. To an outsider, she seemed to be there every time he turned around.

Angel ran his hand over his chin as he listened to the question.

"Ulterior motive, like what?" He asked not quite understanding what the other man was asking.

Lindsey sighed, and when he looked up, his face was deadly serious.

"Like jumping your bones" He replied as plainly as he could.

Angel looked horrified.

"That's ridiculous! Darla is Buffy's best friend and she's been a great support these last few months.. But that's all. There has never been anything between us" Angel's eyes darkened over dangerously at the insinuation.

" I didn't say you wanted to jump hers" Lindsey responded defensively. The last thing he wanted was a fight but the look in Liam's eyes was frighteningly too serious at that moment.

For a tense few seconds neither spoke.

" Darla knows how much I love Buffy, you couldn't be more wrong if you tried"

Angel shook his head and backed down. He had enough problems in his life at the moment without punching out his best friend.

Reading the anger and desperation in Liam's face Lindsey knew it was time to change the subject. From the way he had reacted it was obvious that he didn't have any romantic feelings for Darla, but Lindsey still wasn't convinced that Darla was so innocent.

"So, what do you want to do?" He didn't so much change the subject as bring it full circle.

"I *need* closure" Angel replied slowly, but he couldn't stop the pain flashing across his face.

Lindsey didn't believe him for a second. His words said one thing but his body language told a completely different story. Realising that a helping hand was needed, he cautiously considered his next move.

"Fine, then leave her. Kick the bitch out of your life and forget her." Lindsey said casually as he refilled both their glasses. He purposely let the words sink in knowing that they were having the desired effect.

Angel raked his hand through his hair as he struggled to come to a decision. He had spent so long hating Buffy for leaving him that he hadn't really thought about what would happen if she ever came back.

"What would you do?" He quietly asked his friend for advice.

Knocking back his drink, the lawyer considered the question very carefully. As far as he was concerned, this whole situation stunk and it had done from the second Buffy had fled into the night leaving just a few short words and a wedding ring.

"Well..."

Taking a deep breath he spoke straight from the heart.

"If Buffy was my wife, and I loved her as much as you obviously do, I'd fight for her. I don't care what her reason was for leaving. I'd use this second chance to remind her of why she fell in love with me in the first place and I'd make sure she never wanted to leave me again. "

Lindsey's eyes shone brightly as he finished his speech. It wasn't until the words had left his mouth, that he realise how much he believed in them.

**If Liam let this girl go again he was a damn fool**

Lifting the whisky bottle from the bar, he went to refill Angel's glass for a third time but Angel placed his hand over the top to stop him.

" Thank you, but I need to go home" Angel's tired eyes reflected his gratitude. Finally somebody had told him something he needed to hear.

Slowly standing from the barstool he reached down and picked up the shopping he'd earlier purchased and slowly made his way home.

**Lindsey and I used to work for a law firm in LA, when I left he came with me and we set up a practice together here in Sunnydale**

Turning his attention back to Buffy Angel smiled again.

"He sends you his love"

"Do I like him?"

"Yes " Angel couldn't help but smile again.

"We got talking about a case he's been working on and I guess I lost track of the time." It was only a small white lie "Oh, I almost forgot, I brought you a few things"

"Things?"

"A change of clothes. I also dropped in on Darla, as you were so worried about going shopping, she's agreed to take you. I thought you'd rather go with her than me"

Buffy frowned.

"Darla? The woman in the video?" She sounded a little vague, but after watching their wedding seven times now, she knew exactly who Darla Penn was.

Angel laughed at her troubled statement.

"You really don't remember her at all?"

Buffy shook her head.

"No" She didn't remember her but she had a feeling she wouldn't forget her again in a hurry.

"She's been a good friend" Angel offered and tried to forget Lindsey's ridiculous words of warning.

Buffy was still frowning.

"To you or to me?" She asked quietly, her face suddenly appeared very serious.

Angel opened his eyes in surprise. He could have sworn he heard jealousy in her voice and the thought sent a warm shiver through his lonely body.

Leaning forward, he gazed deeply into her eyes.

"We have both been really worried Buffy. But you're back now and that's all that matters"

Buffy didn't speak, her eyes locked on his, searching and finding a certain comfort in the warm chocolate pools.

An air of anticipation buzzed around them as their faces moved closer together, but before anything could happen, Buffy yawned again, the exhaustion of the last few months finally catching up with her tired body.

"Come on, let me help you upstairs" Angel offered gently, as he rose from the floor.

"Liam, I need to phone Dawn and I want to visit my mother's grave as soon as possible"

Angel nodded, he knew once she remembered that Buffy would need to do both those things.

" Dawn doesn't know about the accident, she's been so busy with college that I didn't tell her. She doesn't even know you were away." He told her quietly.

"I'll ring her in the morning" Buffy went to stand but when she transferred her weight on to her swollen ankle she winced in pain.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs, we can talk more in the morning, when we've both had a good night's sleep"

Buffy smiled in thanks and when she reached out her hand, he took it and pulled her to her feet. Pulling her close, Buffy shivered as his large arm slipped around her waist and she leaned into him for support as they slowly made their way up the stairs.

On reaching Buffy's bedroom door, Angel reached for the handle and pushed it open.

For a moment an awkward silence fell over both of them as each waited for the other to move away.

Without conscious thought Angel reacted first, he lent forward and softly brushed his lips across her forehead.

"Sweet dreams" His hot breath burned against her skin and sent a shiver of pleasure right down her spine.

Buffy sighed as the scent of his masculinity flooded over her senses. Their earlier kiss had left her feeling frustrated and confused and the wedding video had only added to those feelings tenfold. Looking up, their eyes met and her turmoil shone like a lantern on a dark night.

As his blood thundered through his veins, Angel went to move back but before he had the chance, Buffy stepped forward this time. Raising her hand to the side of his face she reached up and gently drew his head down to her lips.

The kiss was soft and innocent and over in a heartbeat. Gently pulling away, Angel smiled and the statement in his deep brown eyes was so warm it melted her heart.

Although his heart was screaming to kiss her back, Angel didn't take advantage of the situation. He knew kissing Buffy now would be dangerous. For the moment he had to hold back. Buffy was still in pain and still confused and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the relationship before it had even restarted.

**If Buffy was my wife and I loved her as much as you obviously do, I'd fight for her. I don't care what her reason for leaving was, I'd use this second chance to remind her of why she loved me in the first place.**

Angel smiled again, after his talk with Lindsey he now knew exactly what he was going to do and it was a relief after all the uncertainty and heartache.

"Something's different. What's changed? " Buffy asked as a sense of bewilderment spread through her whole body. She had only seen that look in his eyes once before, in their wedding video.

Reaching out his hand, Angel softly brushed her cheek. He then leaned closer so that his lips were almost brushing her ear.

"Goodnight Buffy" Before she could speak again, he was gone.

Go to Part Eleven