Part 11.

The fire returned.

Like an unwelcome guest at a party, it gatecrashed through her peaceful slumber and set about its cruel, evil destruction. Buffy could only watch in horror as the skin on her arms turned from a soft golden brown to a crisp, black ash, and then slowly melted away from the bones. She tried to scream, but the severe pain she felt in every cell of her body clenched the muscles of her throat closed, and her cry of desperation was lost.

She was trapped. There was nowhere left to run nowhere safe to hide and no one she could trust. Or was there?

As the fierce, red blanket moved ever closer, engulfing her in its heat and anger, Buffy screamed again, and this time the noise of her terror exploded from her throat.

"Buffy! Buffy! Wake up!" The hand on her shoulder shook gently.

Buffy sat upright in bed, shaking and clearly terrified. As her eyes focused, she saw that Angel was sitting on the side of her bed, his face wide-awake with concern.

"It was a dream. Just a dream" His rich, velvety voice tried its' best to reassure her.

Buffy just stared at him, eyes wide, panting for breath as she struggled through her disorientation.

"You were dreaming" Angel tried once again to comfort her.

"D..dr.. dreaming?" Buffy stuttered as she realised that the fire was no longer burning her body.

Although his kind words meant well, they did little to soothe the panic that was screaming through her blood. Seeing the fear continue to grow behind her frantic eyes, Angel lent forward and wrapping his arm around her trembling body, he cradled her up against bare chest.

Turning her head, Buffy pressed her face into the curve of his shoulder and as she clung to him, her fingers dug deep into the flesh of his back.

"Shh.. You're safe now" Angel tried again to soothe away the terror that had possessed her petite body. When he felt the first hot tear fall against his chest, his arms tightened and rocking her gently, he kissed the crown of her head.

Pressed so closed against his skin, Angel couldn't fail to notice how her heartbeat had doubled, as a rush of adrenaline raced through her veins.

"It was so real. It wants to burn me alive" Buffy whispered, fearful that if she spoke too loud, the flames from her dream would return and finish the job.

As the visions of her dream became clearer, she remembered that this nightmare was identical to the one she had dreamt on the plane trip home. Buffy couldn't explain why, but something evil was haunting her. Something wanted her dead.

**It was so real. It wants to burn me alive**

Her pitiful remark made Angel's heart lurch, he had never seen anybody look so terrified in his whole life.

At her alarmed state, he considered his next words carefully.

"Was it memories from the accident?" He asked gently, as he continued to rock her in the circle of his strong arms.

Buffy was almost too frightened to think.

"I don't know. Maybe. I just don't remember. All I can see is the fire, it's hot and bright and burning everything in its path. It's unbearable" Squeezing back more tears, Buffy leaned in closer and ran her hands down his naked back. She wouldn't cry, she couldn't, because if she did, Buffy bit into her lip, because if she did she feared she would never be able to stop.

This time Angel was the one to tremble. As her small hand absentmindedly caressed the sinewy muscles in his back, he couldn't stop his own body from reacting.

Pulled from his sleep by her frantic cries, Angel had run almost naked to her room. Now, perched on the side of what was once *their* bed, he ignored his state of undress and concentrated fully on Buffy's pain.

"I won't let anybody hurt you, not ever again" Angel murmured as he ran his hand down the length of her back. Slowly, he felt her began to relax, as her breathing returned to normal.

Although she was beginning to feel slightly calmer, Buffy was nowhere near ready to let go of the man holding her. Her fingers lessened their death grip on his flesh but they made no attempt to move away.

Sensing her reluctance and mistaking it for fear, Angel moved his mouth to the top of her head.

"There's no need to be afraid. I've got you " He whispered, softly brushing his lips against her temple.

"Angel"

Buffy's small sigh was barely above a whisper, as she felt her skin burn beneath his lips. This time the feeling of being burned wasn't fearful, but exciting.

As she ran her fingers lightly across his bare arm, Angel silently groaned. She had no idea what it did to him when she called him by that name. No idea of the memories that one simple word could provoke.

Pulling her face from the safety of his shoulder, Buffy looked directly into Angel's dark eyes and tried not to react to his nearness.. Or his nakedness.

"I know this must be just as confusing for you as it is for me. You can remember so much more than I can and.." Buffy stopped; at that second the pain and loneliness reflected in his eyes told her without words how desperately he had missed her.

Reaching up with her hand, she turned his face and softly kissed his lips.

At the unexpected show of affection, Angel drew in a sharp breath. The kiss started softly but as each heartbeat passed, it intensified. Then, with more strength then he knew he possessed Angel broke off the kiss and pulled away.

"You should try and get some sleep now, it's late" He looked deep into her confused eyes, struggling to keep his voice even.

Suddenly the room felt cold and sitting there in just his black boxer shorts he feared he would soon be trembling himself. But it wouldn't be just from the cold. His body ached to continue the kiss, longed to hold her and press her soft body into *their* mattress, claiming her once more as his own.. But not tonight. When they finally did make love Angel wanted it to be because she *wanted* him with her heart, body and soul and not just because she was scared of the dark.

When Buffy felt him start to move away, the fear she had pushed aside a few moments earlier raised its ugly head again.

"I... I..." She hesitated, shaking her head, unsure if she should continue but knowing that she no longer had a choice.

"Please, don't go. I don't want to be on my own. I really need you tonight" Her nervous voice was small and shaky.

Angel knew, no matter how hard the temptation would be, he couldn't refuse her. Resting his forehead against hers, he fought to control the race of his own heartbeat.

"Okay, I'll stay, but just until you fall asleep" Overcome by tenderness, he smiled softly, as her face relaxed with relief.

Pulling back the sheets, he slipped his long body beneath the covers and wrapping a protective arm around her, he hugged her small back into his hard chest.

For a few minutes they lay quietly together not moving but, as she felt his long legs rubbing against her, Buffy turned in his arms.

Their eyes locked and needing to break the tension, Angel smiled again and brushed a feather-light kiss to the end of her nose. Feeling safe and secure for the first time that night, Buffy returned the smile with one that was so grateful, it almost melted his heart. Then, with a contented sigh, she rested her head against his chest and with the steady beat of his heart drumming against her ear; she gave in to her exhaustion and let the sleep that she needed, reclaim her.

Angel smiled softly as he watched her sleep, his hand lightly stroking her back for the rest of the night.

When she woke the next morning, he was gone.

*****

Walking into the bathroom, Buffy moved towards the shower but at the last moment changed her mind. She reached over the bathtub and turned on the taps, releasing a fast flow of steaming water.

Slipping her new robe off her shoulders, she waited until the water level had risen to a level of luxury and after testing the temperature with her fingers, she sunk gratefully into its depths. As her body adjusted to the heat, Buffy's tense muscles began to soothe. She had no idea how long she lay there, silently reliving the night before, but it must have been for a while because the water had turned tepid before she reluctantly climbed out.

Leaving the bathroom, she hurried along the corridor and walked straight into Angel coming out of his room.

" Hey!" Angel was the first to break the awkward silence.

"Hey" Buffy tensed when he started to speak but as her eyes flicked over his friendly face, she let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"No more bad dreams?"

Buffy shook her head in relief.

"No, thank you" She whispered shyly, and resisted telling him that the rest of the night her dreams had taken a completely different direction. This time she had dreamt of twisting bodies not crying out in pain, but in passion.

"That's good" Angel replied again with a small grin.

For a few minutes the uncomfortable small talk continued.

"You look very nice this morning" Buffy cursed as she felt her cheeks blush. She couldn't fail to miss the dark, designer suit he was wearing.

Ignoring the colour rising in her cheeks Angel just continued to grin.

"I promised Lindsey that I'd go into the office today. As you'll be busy shopping with Darla I thought it would be all right. You are still okay about going with Darla and not me?" Angel asked quietly. He wanted her to say no, he wanted to be the one to help her buy her new clothes but he quickly shut those selfish thoughts out of his head. Buffy needed her friends just as much as she needed him.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

Buffy was having her own doubts about her planned afternoon with her so called *best* friend.

"Sure. Can't wait" Her false smile was frighteningly convincing and on accepting it, Angel started to walk away. As he passed her, Buffy reached out her hand and rested it lightly on his hand.

"Liam.. Just one thing. If you have the time, there's somewhere I have to go first"

*****

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Angel asked softly as Buffy lowered herself into the passenger's seat of the shiny black convertible. He had felt the trepidation radiating from her body all morning and it left him frustrated knowing there was nothing he could do but offer her support.

Dropping into his own seat, he watched from the corner of his eye as Buffy slowly pulled the taut seatbelt across her small chest and clicked it securely into place. With the slightest nod of her head she looked across and when their eyes met and held, her large hazel orbs reflected not only the deep sadness she carried but also an unexpected flash of determination.

"I have to face this. Until I see it for myself it will never be real"

Although she tried to sound strong, her small voice failed to hide the pain she was really feeling.

Reaching over, Angel squeezed Buffy's hand wanting to offer some measure of comfort and felt her fingers tremble. This time it wasn't passion that caused the reaction, this time it was grief.

Feeling utterly helpless and unable to bear the suffering he saw in her eyes, Angel started the car without another word and slowly pulled away from the driveway.

*****

Buffy knelt down in the soft, green grass and lovingly laid the bouquet of fresh yellow roses, she had clutched tightly in her hand ever since leaving the flower shop, down in the centre of the grave. For days now the smell of yellow roses had unexplainably haunted her senses. Every time she had turned around the delicate fragrance had awoken a thought deep inside her head, and now she finally understood why. Running her finger gently over the cold marble headstone, Buffy traced out the small letters of her mother's name and a new wave of pain she didn't know was possible crashed over heart.

Of all the memories she longed to remember, her mother's death was not one of them. And yet here she was, surrounded by gravestones on a beautiful Tuesday morning, and suddenly the pain returned as if it had only been a day since she buried the woman who had blessed her with life.

Buffy closed her eyes as flashes of her past broke into the darkness and pounded her head with the grief.

She could now remember the police officer knocking on the door and telling her that her mother had been killed, she saw Dawnie's young face hysterically screaming that it wasn't true. Buffy remembered every second of the funeral and how the rain had fallen that day as if the Gods in heaven shared her sorrow and in sending the rain, they cried the same tears.

As she plucked out a few stray tuffs of grass from the otherwise immaculate grave, Buffy felt tears burn in the back of her eyes. Focusing on the pale yellow flowers that her mother had loved so dearly, her vision blurred until she could no longer see anything. She could now only feel and what she felt broke her heart.

"Mommy" Her shaking fingers reached out and clenched the grass covering her beloved parent.

**Until I see it for myself it will never be real** Her earlier words returned and the sad truth was, it was real, the grave in front of her bearing witness to the fact. Buffy had no choice but to accept that even when her memories finally returned, she would never see her mother again.

Angel stood back from the graveside, not wishing to intrude on his wife's grief, but when he saw her shoulders buckle under the weight of her pain he moved quickly to her side..

"I miss her so much.. " Buffy's voice cracked, a sob catching in her throat, and the anguish that she felt was clearly evident on her face. She glanced desperately round the graveyard, looking everywhere but in his direction.

When she did finally turn towards Angel, her large hazel eyes were brimming with tears. This time there was no holding back. This time the tears had to fall.

In a heartbeat, Angel reached down and pulling her up from the grassy graveside, he wrapped her tightly in his arms. As the pain, loneliness and grief finally became too great to hold in, Buffy buried her head against his hard chest and cried.

Knowing there was nothing he could possibly say that would make a difference, Angel just held her, whispering meaningless words and rocking her gently in his arms.

**This is becoming a habit** He thought as the memory of their night together played over in his head

**But is holding the woman you adore in your arms and comforting her a habit you ever want to break?** He already knew the answer to that question. Although he hated seeing his wife so upset. He knew he would be happy to hold her in his arms for the rest of their lives.

As Buffy's petite body shook from the force of her sobs, Angel tightened his arms around her and encouraged her to cry all the pent up grief out of her heart once and for all.

For a while time seemed to stand still.

Finally, reluctantly, Buffy raised her head and when she looked Angel in the face, his dark eyes blazed with his concern for her.

Looking into her heartbroken eyes, Angel longed to kiss away her pain but he knew once again, that this was not the time or the place. Without saying a word, he reached out, grasping her hand gently in his and lead her away from the cemetery and back to the car.

******

"Come on I'll take you home" Angel spoke quietly as he opened the passenger door of their car.

"No, not home. I'm supposed to be meeting Darla this afternoon" Buffy took a deep breath and tried to pull herself back together.

Waiting until his wife was safely seated, Angel ran around the other side of the car and dropped down into his own seat.

"Buffy, maybe you should go shopping another day" He asked as he placed the car key in the ignition and fired the engine. Without looking up, Buffy shook her head.

"No, I'll be fine. Really. Besides, you said yesterday that Darla is taking time off work today to take me shopping, so I can't cancel on her now"

Not that Buffy wanted to cancel. After re-watching her wedding video more times then she could remember, she was quite looking forward to meeting Darla Penn. No matter how hard she tried Buffy couldn't shake the thought from her head that they were not the close friends that Angel had led her to believe. She didn't understand where this feeling of doubt was coming from, but she knew that she would only be able to get over it once she met the woman for herself.

Raising her arm, Buffy checked her watch and tried to swap the frown she was wearing into a smile. It was a good job Angel was driving and concentrating on the road, because she failed miserably.

" I have a few hours yet before I'm due to meet her, can you drop me off at my mother's - I mean, my Gallery, I'd really like to take a look around the place. Maybe if I can see where my mother worked all those years it might help trigger more of my memory"

Angel wasn't sure if it would work but he agreed just the same.

*****

Buffy gripped Angel's hand tighter as they walked towards the Joyce Summers art gallery on Main Street.

It was a small building and as she approached the front door, she hesitated.

"You don't have to go inside" Angel said and softly squeezed her fingers.

Buffy took a deep breath and nodded her head.

"Yes I do. If I want to find the past I have to look where it happened.

Seeing her determination, and knowing there was no changing her mind, Angel withdrew a small bunch of keys from his pocket and after turning the largest key in the lock, he pushed open the door. Walking inside the gallery, the small old-fashioned bell hanging over the doorway rang announcing their arrival. Once inside, Buffy turned her face up to see where the sound had come from and on noticing the small antique over the door, she smiled.

"I remember that bell" Her whole face came alive as another memory fell into place.

"You've been saying for years that you wanted to take it down and replace it, but you never did" Angel laughed.

Moving away from the door Buffy walked slowly around the displays.

"Has the gallery been closed for a long time" She asked running her finger down the small glass counter and watching a faint line appear in the thin layer of dust

"Anya kept it open for a few weeks but...."

"Anya?" Buffy interrupted. For a second the name seemed to register in her mind but just as quickly, it was gone.

"Anya Chase was the young woman that worked for you. You used to say she had a great head for business, although her public relations skills left a lot to be desired..." Angel laughed again as he remembered the small assistant and her aptitude for making a quick buck.

"So where is she now?" Buffy's eyes returned to the dust covering the galley and knew nobody had cleaned in weeks.

"I'm afraid she no longer works here, she quit, not long after..."Angel's voice trailed off unsure of how to continue. The day had been hard enough on Buffy as it was, it wasn't the time or the place to bring up the small fact that she'd run out on him three months earlier and to this day he still had no idea why. Closing the gallery hadn't been done out of spite, after his wife had disappeared, he was simply too worried and upset to care.

Walking across the room Buffy studied the many works of art hoping that something would jump out on her. It didn't. Turning around she caught Angel glancing at his watch.

"You promised Lindsey that you'd drop in at the office today, didn't you?"

Angel nodded

"I should really, it's only a couple of blocks away. Why don't you come with me, I could show you around..."

Noticing a small door that had the word office clearly written across it, Buffy shook her head.

"I think I'd like to stay here for a while" She said as she moved closer towards the office door. Something invisible almost pulling her.

Seeing her need to be alone, Angel reluctantly agreed.

"Why don't I call Darla from the office and tell her to pick you up from here?" He offered.

"Yeah, that would be better"

Without looking back Buffy nodded. As she opened the office door and walked slowly inside, she didn't even notice Angel leave the gallery.

****

Deeply engrossed with the gallery invoices, Buffy almost missed the small bell ring as the front door opened. Thinking that Liam had returned, or maybe the dreaded Darla was early, she placed the book she had been studying down on the desk and walked into the main room .

On seeing that it was neither Liam or Darla, she frowned, realising that she should have locked the door. The last thing she needed was for a customer to come in asking questions about a subject she was yet to remember.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid the galley is closed today" Buffy apologised as she walked from the office. On reaching the front desk she stopped.

He was tall, fair and incredibly good-looking. That was the first thing she noticed. Tight faded jeans sheathed his lean hips and a white T-shirt hugged his well-developed chest.

His eyes were bright blue, sparkling, with just a hint of mischief and when he looked directly at her, Buffy almost swore they devoured her every movement.

"I. Um...." She didn't get a chance to continue. With three long strides he had passed the counter and had swept her clean off her feet.

"Bloody hell.. I thought I was seeing a ghost for a minute" His hoarse voice brushed against her ear.

Buffy could no longer breathe as she was then crushed into his hard embrace.

"Dammit Buffy, I've been worried sick. Where the hell have you been for the last three months?"

Part 12

"Please!.. Please put me down!" Buffy gasped, finding herself gripped so tightly against a strong masculine chest, that she could hardly find the air to breathe. For a second, her whole body froze as a wave of panic crashed over her and almost scared her rigid. When unknown fingers started brushing against places they had no right to touch, Buffy frantically searched for a name, a memory, anything that would explain why she was being molested and nearly crushed to death by a complete stranger. But no matter how hard she searched the black void that had temporarily replaced her memory, she found nothing about this man that would help. "Please! Put... Me... Down." Buffy gasped again, her eyes widening in horror as warm lips slipped across her earlobe.

At this second urgent plea, his large hands slowly released their grip and gently lowered her feet back to the ground. Backing away, Buffy reached out her trembling fingers and gripped the edge of the desk for support.

Struggling to restart her breathing, she tilted her head and stared hard at the handsome face grinning excitedly in front of her. He didn't look like your average psychopath.

Her would be molester was strikingly handsome. With short bleached blonde hair, exquisite cheekbones and boyish good looks, he definitely had the word *honey* stamped all over him. But it was his eyes that Buffy was drawn to.

Staring deeply, she noticed that his eyes were now more green than blue and, when the sunlight danced lightly across them, they twinkled with mischief and just the tiniest hint of danger. The small jagged scar that crossed his left eyebrow only added to the mystery. "God! I've missed you, Summers" He chuckled and the colour of his eyes changed yet again. **Summers?**

Buffy opened her mouth but suddenly found herself speechless. Raising his hand, her good looking stranger ran his fingers lightly across her cheek, his happy grin turning slightly into a frown as he noticed the almost faded bruising. "Are you all right, pet? You've gone a bit white" When he spoke his voice was a mixture of laughter and concern, and something else. Buffy thought hard for a moment and then it came to her. His accent wasn't American like hers, it was English. Looking deeply into her dubious eyes, he smiled and took a step forward and she in return, took one back.

As she apprehensively stepped away, Buffy's back bumped into the corner of the glass counter and she froze again as her withdrawal came to an abrupt end. "I heard about the accident " He took a another small step forward, his eyes twinkling as they took in the changes in her appearance. Buffy flinched as her back pressed harder into the cool glass display cabinet. Under this stranger's hungry gaze, she suddenly started to feel uncomfortable. Growing slightly nervous at the closeness of his lean, tanned body, she silently cursed herself for sending Liam to his office and leaving her alone and vulnerable. The visitor took a final step forward and his gaze bore directly into Buffy's eyes.

Buffy felt her heartbeat increase and she tensed as he started to speak.

"Why didn't you call me? Are you okay?" His soft voice asked tenderly.

When he tried to reach for her again, Buffy quickly side stepped him and moved away. "Buffy? What the f..." "I'm sorry… I… do I know you?" She blurted out her reply before he had a chance to finish his curse.

"Know me" The man blinked, then laughed at the absurdity of the question.

Buffy looked at him curiously.

" I was hurt in the crash and it affected my memory" She explained as simply as she could. The last thing she wanted to do at that moment was go into personal details with a complete stranger. But even as the thought entered her head, Buffy could tell from the look in his eyes that he knew her even if she had no memory of him. She was right.

"You don't remember me?" A tiny flicker of confusion wrinkled his brow. Buffy shook her head.

"It's Will, Buffy. William Pennington " He waited patiently for a few seconds for her to make the connection. Buffy ran the name inside her head but it still came up blank.

At his expectant look, she felt the absurd impulse to say. 'How do you do' but realising that it would sound like a slap in the face, she just shook her head again in polite regret.

"I don't believe this, are you playing games with me?"

"I'm not playing games, I'm not playing anything" she argued thinly "I have amnesia"

"Amnesia? " The small word almost choked him with disbelief. Buffy nodded and sighed.

" I've lost almost 90% of my memory. I'm sorry, but like I said before, I have absolutely no idea who you are"

He didn't speak, his intense eyes studying her face for signs that she was joking, or worse still, lying. Feeling even more uncomfortable, Buffy cleared her throat.

"I guess we must be friends then, it's just..?" She paused, not knowing what to say next.

"Friends! I think that's got to be the understatement of the year, luv"

This time when he laughed it was cold and humourless and the sound made Buffy shiver from her head to her toes. At her bewildered expression he snorted, and then continued.

" No, I wouldn't really call us friends, pet. I'm not sure what you'd call us these days, but we have been sleeping together for over a year" Buffy watched his lips move and heard the words form but, for all the sense they made, he might as well have been speaking a foreign language.

"That's not true" She instinctively denied the allegation. The thought that she could have cheated on her husband was so alien to her that it was almost impossible to conceive. **If she had ever made love to this man she would have remembered** Buffy silently argued, desperate for his words to be a lie.

**But you didn't remember Liam when you first saw him** A small voice in her head argued back

**But my heart remembers Liam, my body remembers Liam** A vision of her husband's face then came to her mind and her heart sank. Ignoring her pain, William leaned against the counter and reaching into the back pocket of his tight jeans, he removed a packet of cigarettes. Realising they were empty, he screwed up the wrapper and angrily tossed it to the wastepaper bin at his feet. "I can't be sleeping with you... I'm married" Buffy spoke quietly.

She suddenly remembered her wedding video and the way her eyes had looked adoringly towards her new husband. There was no way a few short months later she would have taken a lover. **Would I? ** As she studied the cocky expression on his face Buffy feared that William Pennington looked far too sure of himself.

"Yeah, I know you're married, but it never worried you before. Your old man was such an arsehole you couldn't wait to jump between my sheets. For your information, *you* chased *me* Summers, not that I'm complaining." He smirked and his eyes narrowed slightly.

"It's not possible." Buffy denied the allegation again in total disbelief as all the colour drained from her face. She couldn't believe that something this important had been so seriously overlooked. William just stared at her with stormy eyes.

"You're serious, aren't you" He said at last "You really don't remember me?" Buffy moistened her lips

"My memory before the accident is almost blank, we're hoping…"

"We? Not that bastard husband of yours. Did you remember him?" William's voice rose and his eyes changed from stormy to almost deadly. Buffy shivered, realising there was obviously no love lost between the two men. **And yet if Liam knew, why hadn't he said anything** The thought bothered her.

"Liam, well..." Buffy started to explain but before she could complete the sentence her words were lost in an angry outburst.

"So! You can remember him, but not me?" William's handsome face grew pale, his eyes darkened and for an instant, Buffy felt a small tremor of fear.

Then, in less than a heartbeat, he reached out, and taking Buffy's face firmly between his hands, William brought his mouth crashing down on her lips. Startled, Buffy struggled as his long arms wrapped themselves around her body and pulled her closer into his arms. As his tongue slipped into her mouth Buffy pulled violently away.

**This is wrong** A thousand tiny voices cried into her head. She didn't have one memory of ever kissing this man before.

Although his kiss was warm and passionate Buffy knew she couldn't respond. She knew deep in her heart that kissing this man wasn't right. There wasn't any logic in her thinking, just a strong gut reaction and that reaction told her that something about this man just didn't add up. "Don't touch me" Buffy struggled to reclaim her composure as her large hazel eyes flashed her distrust. She needed to think. Stepping back, William let out a deep sigh of frustration and ran his hands through his short blonde hair. "Buffy, I think that knock to your head did more than just wipe out a few memory cells. What on earth's gotten into you? I've already told you that we're lovers, I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count and now suddenly you can't bear to even kiss me " He shouted angrily. Although he sounded genuine Buffy still couldn't find it in her heart to believe him. "I need time to think about this, I want you to leave." "What is there to think about? I love you and you love me" William shrugged his shoulders. In his eyes it was as simple as that.

"No!" Buffy shook her head violently "How can I love you when I can't even remember you"

"But you remember that bastard, Angelus" William spat out in fury. His fists curled and he had a strong urge to smash them through the glass counter in temper. Buffy glared back. "Don't call him that" She defended her husband without a second thought.. "I don't bloody believe this". William closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm the raging fire that burned through his body. As he opened his eyes again, he looked into Buffy's face and hardly recognised her frightened features. "So now what, you're suddenly in love with him all over again? " He demanded furiously. He didn't give her time to answer. "The next thing you'll be telling me is you let the sod back in your bed" At the slight rise in the colour of her cheeks, William's last thread of control snapped.

"You already have, haven't you. Dammit Buffy, you're sleeping with the bastard again?" His voice exploded. "That's none of your business" Buffy's eyes flickered around the room looking for an escape route. She didn't really believe that he was dangerous but she doubted she had ever seen anybody that angry and frustrated before. "The hell it is. How much of your life do you remember with him? You left him once and now you're right back where you started" "I asked you to leave. Please, if you care about me you'll give me time to sort this mess out, once and for all" Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if searching for some inner strength to continue.

William sighed, but then reluctantly nodded his head. "Okay, I'll give you the space you need. But, like it or not, I'm in your life, you can't just shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out, I simply need time to remember"

"Yeah, right. Okay, you win, I'll give you what you want but, I'm warning you, don't trust him, not for a second, luv. He'll rip your bleeding heart out " William finished and when he looked back up, Buffy watched as the anger drained from his face, leaving his eyes full of pain.

Shaking his head sadly, he turned away from her so that she wouldn't see his heart shatter into a million pieces, and slowly walked away. When William reached the front door he stopped and leaned his forehead against the cold glass, keeping his face forward, not wanting to see the confusion on her face as he delivered his final words. "Hopefully, when you finally come to your senses, you'll remember that I love you much more than he *ever* did, and when he breaks your heart again..." William swallowed hard and his voice lowered down into a painful whisper. "I'll still be here waiting, and Buffy, I'll still love you" With those last words the unhappy young man, flung open the door and disappeared down the street.

Buffy stood very still as the door swung closed, the small bell, over head, ringing its heart out. In the space of a few minutes, her complicated life had once again been thrust into the dark. As she fought to come to terms with the new information, two very different voices replayed over and over inside her head. ** No. We're not friends, Buffy. You're my wife**

**No, I wouldn't really call us friends, pet. I'm not sure what you'd call us these days, but we have been sleeping together for over a year** Buffy gripped the counter until her knuckles turned white, as more and more memories from the recent week replayed before her eyes. Two men, so different in appearance and yet both claiming to know her better than she knew herself, fought each other inside her head.

**I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count and suddenly you can't bear to kiss me** William's arrogant boast was quickly replaced with her husband's gentle words of reassurance. **There's no need to be afraid. I've got you** He had been right, in Angel's arms she wasn't afraid. Buffy sighed, desperately needing those arms around her at that moment. **When you come to your senses, hopefully you'll remember that I love you much more that he ever did, and when he breaks your heart again...I'll still be here and Buffy, I'll still love you**

**I won't let anybody hurt you, not ever again** Buffy closed her eyes as a solitary tear trickled down her cheek. Just when the light was beginning to break through her nightmarish life, William Pennington breezes in and extinguishes it. Standing there, still clinging to the counter for support, her heart raced uncomfortably fast and her throat started to close in, suffocating her. **Was it really possible that she had cheated on Liam?** Every instinct rejected the idea. Liam had been kind, considerate and loving, nowhere near the monster that William had painted. But why would William lie? He had seemed genuinely shocked to hear about the amnesia.

**What could he possibly gain by lying?** Buffy asked herself as more words returned to haunt her mind.

** How much of your life do you remember with him? You left him once and now you're right back where you started** "Left him?" Buffy gasped out loud, anguish and pain laced her voice as she relived her so-called lover's words. It was only now, when she had time to reflect, that the true meaning of the statement sunk in to her head. **It feels as if I've not been here for years.. Liam, just how long was I away?**

**A little over three months** **What happened to my clothes? I mean all the hangers in my room are empty**

"Oh God" Buffy gasped as the pieces of her life started to fall into place. Bending over, she clutching her stomach with one hand while the other flew to cover her mouth, but she was too late, as her insides violently clenched, most of her breakfast decorated the floor...

Part 13

William needed air. No, correction, he needed a cigarette, a drink and then he seriously needed to hit somebody. Hard. It didn't matter who. No, actually it did matter who, in fact it mattered a lot. As his long legs moved angrily down Main Street, William's troubled mind filled with visions of his fists punching Liam Angelus' head right through the nearest wall.

**How can I love you when I can't even remember you** Buffy's frightened voice echoed deep inside his head as he moved away from the gallery as fast as the muscles in his legs would allow

**But you remember that bastard, Angelus?**

**So now what, you're suddenly in love with him all over again? The next thing you'll be telling me is you let the sod back in your bed**

**You already have, haven't you. Dammit Buffy, you're sleeping with the bastard again**

**That's none of your business**

As William's thoughts turned to Liam worming his way back into Buffy's bed, his heart raced, frantically pumping the bitterness he felt into every cell of his body.

"Bloody bastard" William cursed in frustration. As he continued down the street, his foot struck out at an empty coke can lying in his path and sent it spinning across the pavement with the full force of his anger.

For Will, it didn't matter how much distance he put between him and Buffy, her painful words continued to crush his broken heart with every new step he took.

**I can't be sleeping with you... I'm married.... **

"Yeah, don't I know it" He mumbled to himself and stepping off the pavement, he quickly crossed the road.

As he headed in the direction of Willie's bar, the other pedestrians on the street quickly moved out of the troubled young man's path.

"Hey! Wait! Where do you think you're going?" A female voice called and although William heard the question clearly, he made no attempt to slow down.

"William!" Her voice called again and the cold sharp tone left little doubt in his mind that there would be real trouble if he didn't answer her.

**Tough luck. Bitch**

Without slowing, William threw his reply over his shoulder.

"I'm really not in the mood to play happy families right this minute. So just Piss off and leave me alone" He muttered harshly and intending to put as much distance between them as possible, he increased his stride.

The blonde woman following him was small but she moved swiftly and within a few seconds she had caught up and moved along side.

"For a poet you really use the most charming language." She purred sarcastically, and from her vantage point she couldn't fail to notice the anguish radiating from his lean body.

As the neon sigh advertising Willie's bar caught his eye, William ignored his unwanted companion and turned sharply towards the entrance.

"Dammit, William! Will you slow down?" she finally snapped, as her small heels struggled to keep up the hurried pace.

"Okay, you want charming, how's this for charming" Finally losing his temper, Will spun a U-turn and glared dangerously into the woman's pale blue eyes " I'm having a really bad day, so please, do us both a favour, and ...." He sighed deeply and decided not to finish the insult. From the determined look on her face it would have been a complete waste of time anyway.

As he started to turn away again, a small, well-manicured hand reached out and came to rest lightly on his arm.

"Stop acting so damn pathetic and just tell me where you're going?"

At the fleeting look of pain that flickered in his eyes, the woman's voice softened slightly.

"Honey! It couldn't have gone that badly" She cooed as her long fingers slid softly across his bare arm.

The fair-haired man, with thunder in his dangerous eyes glared for a few more seconds and then shook off her hand.

"After what I've just done, I think I deserve a bloody stiff drink. Nah, make that the whole fucking bottle." William turned his head towards the neon sign and could almost taste the cool beer he desperately needed.

"There will be plenty of time for that later. Just tell me what happened at the gallery?" The female snapped back, impatient for an answer to her question.

With a sigh, William shook his head. Suddenly needing a cigarette, he reached into the back pocket of his jeans only to remember the empty packet he had earlier tossed away at the gallery.

**Don't touch me**

The moment he thought of the gallery, the memories of Buffy pushing him away returned and once again his fragile mood turned black.

As if reading his mind, his companion pulled an unopened carton of cigarettes from her jacket pocket and carelessly threw them at him.

Without a word, William caught the packet, ripped off the top and after lighting up; he drew the thick smoke deep into his lungs. As the nicotine entered his blood stream, and set to work at soothing his nerves, Will let out a deep sigh of relief.

"I take it you saw her?"

The woman's cool words cut through the calm haze that had formed inside his head and immediately returned the tension to his body.

"You know damn well that I saw her, you cunning bitch. After all, you were the one who told me where she was going to be" William shot the reply back and returned the cigarette to his mouth.

"And did she believe you?" The female asked coldly, but she couldn't stop the delighted smirk on her face shinning through her cool show of indifference.

Everything was going better than she had dreamed possible. Buffy being left alone at the gallery so soon had been a godsend.

At the question William's eyes narrowed.

"And why wouldn't she believe me, Darla?" He took a step forward but the much smaller woman just blocked his path and refused to move.

William tilted his face closer; and a small muscle twitched in the side of his jaw as dared his companion to argue with him.

"You told her everything we agreed and she believed you?" Darla's eyes lit up in delight.

" I told her the truth" As he replied to the question, William exhaled a mouthful of smoke right in the woman's smirking face.

The insult was ignored.

"The truth?" Darla laughed cruelly, as she ran the two words over her tongue.

" Well, I guess it's the truth as your twisted mind sees it. My dear boy, before her accident, Liam's little cheerleader never gave you so much as a second glance, and we both know it."

The second she saw William flinch she knew she had struck a raw nerve.

"My relationship with Buffy is none of your business" William growled through clenched teeth.

"So you keep telling me."

The disbelief in her voice wasn't lost on either of them. Darla drew in a deep breath and when she met his eyes again her statement was deadly serious.

"Honey, I really don't care whether you were screwing the bitch or not, just make sure you convince *her* that you were."

Dropping what was left of his cigarette to the floor, William ground it out with the toe of his boot.

This time it was his turn to smirk.

"Don't worry about me, I'll have Buffy eating out of the palm of my hand before you know it"

**And then I'll really screw her on that office floor ** He added as a silently afterthought.

At the prospect, William smiled for the very first time since leaving the gallery.

Darla watched as the light returned to his cool eyes and with a sigh of disbelief, she shook her head. It still amazed her that he could possibly love the skinny blonde girl who had made her life hell for so many years. But it didn't matter; in fact it actually helped with her plan.

"You're sick, Will, and you're welcome to the little bitch. As long as she stays away from Liam, I really don't care what happens to her. But I promise you this; I'm not losing Liam Angelus again, not for anyone. If Buffy Summers gets in my way this time, amnesia will be the least of her problems "

Darla smiled, but her eyes were so hard William almost shivered. When she spoke again she left him with little doubt how deadly serious she was.

"If she crosses me one more time, I'll crush her like a bug"

Part 14

Inside the Joyce Summers Gallery it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Nothing moved for what felt like an eternity.

Eventually, the first sound that broke through the eerie stillness was the rapid beating of a heart. It pounded so hard behind the ribcage of the small woman's chest that there was serious danger of physical pain.

Then, somewhere in the distance, a new sound joined the equation.

The muffled ticking of a small clock was the only sign that time hadn't completely come to a stand still, although for the life of her, Buffy found that fact hard to deal with. From the second William Pennington's tall frame had disappeared through the front door of the gallery, reality had turned into a nightmare.

Although the antique bell over the front door had long stopped ringing, Buffy almost swore the sound still reverberated right into her very soul. Even when she closed her eyes, she could still feel the vibrations echoing through her body. As she wrapped her arms around her chest to stop her trembling, she knew it wasn't only the ringing of the bell that had left an echo. Buffy was now filled with so much confusion she feared her head would explode.

She had thought not remembering her past was hard enough, but learning the things William Pennington had just told her was a million times worse.

**Friends! I think that's got to be the understatement of the year, luv**

Even though she was now totally alone, Buffy still felt William's presence all around the room. His clear cut voice remained and taunted her from every direction.

** No, I wouldn't really call us friends, pet. I'm not sure what you'd call us these days, but we have been sleeping together for over a year**

"Oh God. What have I done?" Buffy whispered out loud as she felt her knees begin to shake again.

Alone and vulnerable, Buffy was beginning to get really frightened. She was suddenly terrified that the past life she had searched so hard to find wasn't the happy secure place she had believed it to be. In the blink of an eye, her safety blanket of the perfect past had been totally stripped away and the small fragments of her new life were now spinning totally out of control. Not only was she not the person she had believed she was, but Buffy Angelus was now somebody she didn't even know if she even liked.

Once again the frightened young woman was plagued with questions she couldn't begin to answer.

"So, if I wasn't the happy loving wife in the video, who the hell was I?"

This new question haunted her more than any of the others.

**Had she really been the kind of woman that would take a lover so easily and cheat behind her husband's back? ** Buffy shook her head, the idea was just too horrid, but sadly there were worse thoughts to follow.

**If William Pennington was telling the truth, and that was exactly the woman she had been, why had she run off and left her husband *and * her lover behind. Was it possible she had run out on both of them? **

Buffy couldn't think straight as another wave of nausea rose over her and sent her small frame doubling over with the force of its anger. For ten minutes her fragile stomach continued to wrench but after the second time of decorating the gallery floor, there was simply nothing left for the wrenching to bring up.

Finally, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth and tucking her loose hair behind her ears, Buffy straightened up. With all the effort she could muster she turned and, walking back into the small office at the rear of the gallery, silently closed the door behind her.

The change of environment brought little comfort.

**I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count. **

At the memory of William's crude words, Buffy shuddered.

**How could she have done something so intimate with a man she had absolutely no memory of. If their bodies had really made love on the office floor more times then he could count; surely there should be something in the back of her mind that would prove he was telling the truth. But there wasn't. There wasn't any memory inside her shattered head of William at all **

Of course, she hadn't remembered marrying Liam at first. Buffy tried to make sense of the situation but her argument was quickly shot to pieces. She might not have remembered Liam Angelus as her mate but she had always known his face and his name. Her subconscious might have misplaced him as being her husband, but her heart and soul hadn't wiped him out. When he touched her skin, her whole body had responded with a will of its own.

William was a completely different story.

It didn't matter how hard she tried; Buffy couldn't find any feelings for William at all. Not in her memories, not in her heart and not in her soul. He said they were lovers and she had no reason to think he would lie, but the plain truth was, William Pennington meant nothing to her at all.

Feeling incredibly light-headed, Buffy threw open the office window and resting her head lightly against the security bars, she filled her lungs with a rush of cool air.

Outside, the world went about its business as normal but on the other side of the window, Buffy Summers Angelus felt as if her life was crashing down all around her. For a woman who, only a few hours earlier, had no past, present or future, she suddenly found herself in a very difficult position.

On one hand there was Liam, not only a husband, but also a man she knew she could love very easily. He had pulled her out of the darkness and had held her through the pain and the confusion that had followed. The very last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, especially if he hadn't know about her affair.

**Her affair**

That thought returned Buffy to the other man in the equation.

William. The good-looking blonde lover that had come out of nowhere and genuinely seemed to care about her, even when she had pushed him away. He had promised her that Liam would break her heart again.

**Was it really possible that he had broken her heart once before. Was that why she had left him?** Too many questions and nowhere near enough answers made Buffy's head throb with uncertainty.

**Was Liam still wearing a mask? Or maybe the mask belonged to William. Someone was lying**

As Buffy closed her eyes she could see Liam and William so clearly. Both men were incredibly good looking in totally different ways. Sexy, passionate, charming and kind. She could easily see why she would have been attracted to either of them, but Buffy also knew in her heart that when she had kissed them, only one of the two had made her heart yearn for the kiss to continue. Only one of them had made her blood course through her veins at a thousand miles an hour.

In her right mind she wouldn't have looked at another man so soon after marrying Liam.

**But had she been in her right mind? Or had Liam somehow driven her into the arms of another man? **

Leaning over the small sink in the women's rest room, Buffy splashed her face with cool water and took a deep breath to calm her shaking body. Tilting her head slightly, she hesitantly looked at her reflection in the mirror hanging just above the sink and shuddered. Her eyes, not to mention her nose, were both flushed bright red, while her cheeks were now a ghostly shade of white.

Raising her trembling fingers she slowly traced the contours of the face staring out at her from behind the glass.

"Who the hell are you?" Buffy asked as she tried desperately to see past the reflection and into the person who wore her face.

**What sort of woman had she *really* been? A loving wife as the wedding video portrayed, or a adulterous bitch who had cheated on her husband and then ran out on him without a second thought**

As small droplets of water dripped from the edge of her hair and rolled slowly down her face, Buffy carefully studied the information she had collected over the last few days.

**Had she really been having a torrid affair behind Liam's back?**

Every cell in her body rejected the idea, but in all honesty, Buffy had no idea what kind of relationship her marriage had been. When she had first woken in the hospital, Liam had been cold, almost untouchable. It was only once they had been home for a few days, that he had dropped the mask he wore so carefully over his expressions and a kind, patient and loving man had emerged. Then just as she was beginning to fall back in love with him, William Pennington enters her life and it all gets thrown back into confusion.

"No wonder you ran away" The first bitter sting of tears was already burning behind her eyes as self-pity rose up from its hiding place and threatened to drown her.

But this time Buffy wouldn't allow herself the luxury of crying.

**She needed to pull herself together and sort this mess out once and for all and then she needed...**

So lost in her thoughts, Buffy missed the small bell ringing again over the door, announcing that a new visitor had entered the building.

Splashing her face one last time, she reached out her hand and finding a paper towel in the dispenser, she dried off the remaining moisture. As her thoughts turned to finding her bag and repairing the damage to her makeup, Buffy also missed the creak of the office door slowly being pushed open.

"Hello Buffy"

Startled, Buffy turned.

"Liam told me to meet you here. God, you look dreadful, what on earth happened?"

Buffy didn't need introductions. The face of the woman smiling at her was now imprinted firmly on her brain. Not in the form of a memory. Buffy knew this was the face from her wedding video.

Standing in an immaculate white designer suit, with matching shoes and perfect makeup was her so called *best friend*. A best friend Buffy had a sneaky feeling she'd be a real fool to trust. Especially where her husband was concerned.

As Buffy's eyes caught sight of her own dishevelled reflection in the mirror, she fought off the wave of panic that threatened to strike and instead forced a small smile to her lips.

"Hello, Darla. It's good to see you again" Her voice was remarkably calm.

Buffy walked forward, but as the two women embraced she heard a small warning voice deep inside her head.

**So this woman is your best friend?**

** Not in a million years**

Go to Part Fifteen