Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me, unfortunately…however, if they did, I am pretty sure they would be none of the C/A, B/S, etc. bull shit. *G*
Summary: I was in a pretty angsty mood. This is a one parter. We know the prophecy about Angel’s humanity and how it will be restored if he survives the End of Days. However, they never told us what he had to do to become human…then again, who said he had to do anything? In short, Buffy dies so Angel can become human.
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG14

When you’re a slayer, you get used to the idea of dying. In fact, most of my predecessors didn’t live past 25. To me, death was something I couldn’t escape.

Yes, I guess no one can really escape death, but it was different with me.

Death stalked me. I was always one step ahead of it. When I wasn’t careful, it would creep up behind me and breathe its icy breath down my back.

Death was inevitable. It was always there. And no matter how cautious I was, or how many times I had saved someone’s life…the entire world for that matter, death was always there…watching me…waiting for me to mess up so it could pounce on me…

Death was my biggest fear.

But, I grew up. I had to. So many things prevented me from living out my normal life, that I grew up and accepted my responsibilities as Protector of the World. The Champion.

The Chosen One.

But, as I continued on, and as each apocalypse became more and more drastic, I realized that it wasn’t death that scared me. It was something a lot deeper. Something that had been instilled in me since the day of the Prom…

Dying alone.

As hard as I tried to push back the truth behind my deep rooted fear, the same harsh truth kept popping back up into my mind.

I was scared of dying without saying goodbye…

To Angel.

Angel…even after so many years of longing and pain, I still loved him. And, as I drag my broken, bloody, and semi-lifeless body next to his, all the years of denial of my love resurface. After all those years. I still love him.

“Buffy?” He asks wearily. He gently touches my face. I can feel him tracing the curves of my cheek bones with his…warm hand.

I try to smile at him, but it hurts so badly.

There’s so much pain.

There’s so much blinding pain.

“It’s okay. The war is over. Nothing bad can ever touch the Earth again. It’s over,” I say to him.

I can feel his tears splashing softly against my soiled cheek, and his rough torn hands cupping my face.

“I know…I know…” He says. If I were anyone else, I would be able to take what he just said for the face value. However, it is Angel, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being around him the last hardest and yet most wonderful four years of the End of Days, it’s that with him, you can’t take anything for face value.

He knows this is the end for me too.

“You know, the last few years have been the best of my life,” I say to him. “If it weren’t for you, I don’t think I would have lived through the first war.”

Angel smiles faintly…really, it’s more like a mouth twitch, because only the corners of his mouth rise, and even then, it’s just barely.

“Buffy…” He says. I love it when he says my name. It’s like a song rolling off his tongue. And the way he says it…even as I lie here broken in his arms…he says it like I’m still the most beautiful person in the world, even though, at 32, I am looking rather…well, less than perfect.

“You would have made it. You’re strong, Buffy. Stronger than you know. That’s why I loved you so much. Why I still love you. You’re strong, and you influence everyone else to be stronger. It’s really me who should be thanking you,” he says quietly, as he caresses my messy and tangled hair.

I reach up with much difficulty, and manage to gently run my fingers over his regal cheek bones, and in his dark hair. I look deep into his chocolate eyes and know…just know, that everything will be all right.

“Buffy…I—“ He starts. Unfortunately, I don’t give him enough time to finish. I push my index finger against his soft lips and hush him.

“Listen…” I say as I drag my finger from his lips down his chin and neck, and to his broad chest. I rest a hand over his once dead heart and listen.

From beneath my hand, I can feel his muffled heart beat.

“Do you hear it?” I ask him gently.

It’s a good sound. Thump thump. Thump thump.

Angel grasps my hand and holds it against his heart. I can feel his tears sliding down his face and onto my neck.

“I hear it…you did this…for me…you were the reason all of this happened…”

I can feel some tears pushing past my eyelids.

“No…after all you did for me…after all these years…I am finally glad I can repay you,” I say to him.

“Buffy…this isn’t just a favor. You are lying here dying because of me.”

As much as I hate to admit it, he was the reason.

He was always the reason.

When I heard about the prophecy, I felt my heart swell.

Who knew the cost would be my life?

I hear a muffled sob come out of his throat, and I reach up and begin running my hands through his hair again.

“No. Angel. If I can give you, even half of what you gave me, then it isn’t nearly enough. This wasn’t a favor…

“It was a gift,” I say. Suddenly, I am awash in memories of falling asleep in his arms after a hard night’s slaying, and being read to by the fading moonlight. Memories of smiles and kisses and secrets in the dark fill my mind as I begin to feel my hand become heavy, and my vision become blurry.

“Angel…I love you…” I say to him.

Angel gently presses a kiss to my swollen and battered lips, and then hushes me.

“I love you. More than anything,” he says to me in between sobs.

I groan as a fresh wave of pain is replaced by a calming numb feeling.

“Ohh…Angel…”

“Shh…Love…close your eyes,” he says to me.

I feel my tears push past my eyelids and run rivers down the sides of my face.

Close your eyes…

I close my eyes and feel myself drifting off, and the pain lessen. Even without my eyesight, and the lessening of my other senses, I can still feel Angel’s presence beside me, and just before my world stops completely, I hear him whisper,

“Buffy…you have no idea what you’ve given me. You’re more than a friend, lover, champion…

“You’re my hero.”

Feedback please!!! This is my 1st incredibly all angst fic. PLEASE!!!!

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