+ + + NOTE - "The Zeppo" wasn't skipped, I'll get back to it. It'll just be better for the story's sake if some of the (or all, I haven't decided yet) events of "Bad Girls" came first + + +
Rating: umm...I'm thinking along the lines of PG...in the meantime. Who knows what the future might bring:).
Disclaimer: nope, last time I checked, nothing was mine.
Spoilers: well...better safe than sorry: everything up to the end of season 3 can be spoilery.
Synopsis: I have a strange drive to rewrite season 3 of BtVS. I just don't seem to like the way it ended...beats me why. Anyway, so despite the fact that the original plan was to begin with "Helpless" (that's around the time everything really started getting screwed up B/A-wise), as you can see, plan's changed and I'm going to start with "Anne". If you expect to find in this series events/quotes from the original season....I seriously mean it - I'll try my hardest keeping them to the very minimum. But all in all - it's probably a yet another attempt to end the season on a more "positive" B/A level. See how it goes:).
Pairing: the conventional ships: B/A, W/O, C/X. If I decide to torture any/all of them, you'll be the first to know:).
Distribution: ask first.
Feedback: please, yes, please.

Wandering eyes commitments
Never can last
It feels so cold to know our name
I've never known you and I never will
What difference does indifference takes
Do you regret what you saw
Floating softly at the Niles' edge

- Vast, "The Niles' Edge"

"I understand I'm one of the last people you want to see right now, Angel, but I wouldn't have called you, had I seen another way," Giles was restlessly toying with the pen in his hand as he spoke to the vampire, reluctant to direct his gaze at him.

"What I *want* is my business, Giles. I haven't seen you after Buffy's birthday just like I haven't seen you before it. Not much has changed," he said, but the Watcher could still perceive the obvious hostility in his voice.

"I just meant…"

"I know what you meant," the vampire released a stored breath. "I can promise you one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt, Giles," he eyed the man with piercing eyes, until the Watcher found himself caught in his gaze. "I will *never* trust you with her the way I did before. That's something, assuming you care that you lost, you'll never be able to regain. But that's me. As for Buffy…and for you, you both only realized how truly important you two were for one another when your relationship faced that test. If anything, in the long run, your betrayal brought the two of you closer together. I will *never* stand in the way of something as important to my girlfriend as her relationship with you." He paused, peering intently at the elder man. "Now that that's covered," he eased, and so did Giles, "what was it that you called me for?"

"Yes, yes, ahm," Giles blinked several times, stuttering, and turned back to the book he'd been reading earlier. "I called you to…to give you something."

"You did?"

"Yes," Giles scanned the library, his gaze hindering on the flap doors.

"You're waiting for someone?" Angel asked.

"No," the Watcher shook his head. "I'm hoping someone *won't* come."

"The new Watcher?" Angel read the anxious expression on Giles' face as if it was an open book.

"How did you know?"

"Buffy told me."

"Well," Giles groaned, scratching his neck. "Did Buffy also mention she doesn't want anything to do with him?"

"I knew she wouldn't," Angel shrugged simply.

"What do you mean, you *knew*?" Giles exclaimed, a bit angry. "Why does she behave like that?"

"I've just told you why," the vampire shot him a pointed look.

The Watcher sighed, taking a seat. "This is incredibly immature of her. She doesn't make it any easier on me, and certainly not on Mr. Windham Price."

"It's her way of dealing," the vampire responded silently, giving the subtle, yet strong hint he preferred not to discuss his girlfriend's feelings with her former Watcher, or anything else outside business, for that matter. "Just give her time," he advised.

"Unfortunately, it's not in my hands anymore," the Englishman muttered.

Angel was silent for a spell, then spoke again. "What did you want to give me?"

The Watcher glanced at the door again, then reached into his pocket, and took out an object, holding it up for the vampire to see. "This is-"

"I know what it is," Angel interrupted him, taking the jewel from his hand. "It's the Amulet of Balthazar. I'm familiar with its power too."

"Then I'm glad. I don't need to explain. However, I must ask you to keep your possession of it a secret…"

"I think it's a given fact," Angel assured him, eyeing the amulet carefully.

The bell interrupted their conversation, and they resumed it after the ringing had been over.

"I didn't mean only that," the Watcher shook his head. "I meant, keep it a secret from Buffy's new Watcher. If he finds out I gave it to you, he will have my head." Giles couldn't help but inwardly chuckle at the mental image of Wesley harming a fly. But he knew the younger Watcher could cause him trouble with the Watcher's Council, and Giles was reluctant to get into more trouble with the Council than he already was.

"I don't have anything to do with him," Angel dismissed the man's concern. "I never even saw him. And as far as I know, he doesn't even know about me."

"He doesn't, but still…I trust you to keep it. I know it will be safe with you. I need you to be careful."

Angel nodded, pocketing the amulet.

"Hey, Giles!" Willow chirped as she walked into the library, with her childhood friend in tow.

"Willow. Xander," Giles instantly rose to his feet, as though the teenagers had startles him.

"Angel?" Willow only just acknowledged the vampire's presence in the room. "What are you doing here?"

Angel glanced at Giles, then gulped, then looked back at Willow. "Where's Buffy? She's not with you?" he glanced from her to Xander and back at her.

The redhead looked down to her feet. "Not exactly…"

"Willow?" Now, it was Giles who probed her.

"She's not at school."

"What are you talking about, I saw her this morning-"

"She left this morning-" both Giles and Angel uttered the words almost simultaneously, both obviously concerned for the Slayer.

"We've just finished an exam," Willow informed the two, "during which, Buffy kinda…"

"You mean to say she cut out of school?!" the former Watcher cut in, wide eyed at the news he was receiving from the witch.

"K-kinda…" the girl stammered timidly.

"Why?" Angel wanted to know.

"She went with Faith," the redhead looked up at him.

"With Faith?" he frowned, both disbelief and disappointment apparent in his futures.

Xander was the one to supply the answer this time. He nodded, "She took her slaying."

"It's the bloody middle of the day!" Giles exclaimed, now, genuinely upset. Whatever had been recently going on with Buffy, he *didn't* like it. Not one bit.

****

"Hey!" Buffy jumped on Angel and wrapped her legs around his waist, grinning happily, but that smile faded quickly when she realized he wasn't returning it. "What's up?" she asked, jumping back down, but maintaining her arms around his waist.

Angel took her by the arm and quietly led her away from the dancing teenagers, and Faith.

He stopped when they reached a couch and sat down, pulling the Slayer down next to him. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Buffy glanced back at the dance floor. "Dancing?" she suggested innocently, when he retained his grave expression, she appeared somewhat confused. "Angel, what gives?"

He still didn't reply.

"Are you jealous?" a little mischievous grin sparkled in her eyes.

Angel looked up, and as much as he tried to conceal it, she could see right through him, but before Buffy could say anything, he spoke again, "I'm not here to tell you what to do."

Her heart fell. So why was he here? "Okay," she nodded.

"I haven't seen you since you came back from school today. And I know you skipped school…"

"How do you know that?"

"It doesn't matter. Where have you been all day, aside from…here?" he gestured about himself. "Can you at least answer me that one question?"

"You're afraid to ask more?" she grinned. "Cuz I might have done something horrible-"

"Buffy," he cut in, then tenderly looked her in the eyes. "It isn't you," he whispered.

"Not me?" she quirked a brow. "Really? Do you, by any chance, know what *is* me, then?" she set her hands on her hips expectantly.

Angel sighed helplessly, already knowing exactly where that was leading to, and how was it all going to end. "I'm sorry," he stood up, and turned to go away.

Buffy exhaled sharply. "Angel, wait!" she jumped to her feet and grabbed his arm, turning him around. "What did you want to tell me?"

"It doesn't matter," her boyfriend shook his head. "It's your life, do-do whatever you feel is right."

"Buffy! There you are," Wesley joined the couple that moment.

"Not now!" the blonde snapped, not tearing her gaze from the vampire.

"What?!" the Watcher couldn't believe his ears. "You disappear without a trace, leave no message, no note-"

"Next time, I'll bring my bell with me, Wes! *Not* now!" she left the speechless man standing behind her and stormed after her boyfriend.

**

"Angel!" she called after him when they both were out of the club.

He stopped and waited for her to close the distance between them.

"What do you want?" she asked him firmly, when they were finally standing face to face with each other. "Why can't you tell me what you want, what are you afraid of?!"

"I'm not afraid of anything…"

"*What* do you want? Do you want me to stop hanging with Faith, do you want me to do *this*, do you want me not to do *that*, *what* do you want from me, what will make you happy?!"

"I don't want anything," he shook his head, cupping her face gently. "I want *you* to be happy…I'm trying to give you what *you* want, but I don't know what I've been recently doing wrong though I know there's something. You want…other things now."

"Because you're not helping, Angel!" she cried out.

"How am I supposed to help?!" he retorted.

The Slayer beheld him sadly for a moment, then spoke again, "You don't know…"

The vampire swallowed hard. "I'm gonna go…I'm gonna patrol now, it'll take at least a couple of hours. Then I'll go home early…I'm tired. I hope I'll see you there by the time I get back," he said gently, and walked away, leaving Buffy standing alone in the alley.

*****

Angel walked into the dark mansion and sighed, when he acknowledged there wasn't even fire burning in the fireplace, which indicated on nobody being home. Though he had suspected she would probably not come home when he had requested her to, he still held on to the hope she might surprise him. He didn't want to fall asleep alone.

He entered the bedroom and was greeted with the same darkness. He was about to remove his leather jacket and toss it on the bed, when he suddenly turned on his heels, resolutely heading back the way he'd come in.

"Buffy," he whispered her name, when he found her right in front of him as he revolved, standing barefoot on the stony floor and wearing a shirt of his that almost reached her knees in length.

"Did you wanna go get me?" she inquired, as she walked past him into the room and perched on the bed. "Drag me home by force, if necessary?"

"No," he shook his head, not quite grasping the meaning of her words. "What-"

"Why not?" she asked. Her voice low, and somewhat dangerous. Angel knew that tone only too well. "Why wouldn't you do that?!"

"I would never," he murmured, as he started removing his jacket and other clothes, getting ready for bed.

"*Why?* what if I want you to?! What if I want you to come and take me home, what if I want you to come and say that you *don't like* what I do?! Why can't I have that?!"

"What are you talking about?" Angel turned to her, after he'd finished changing into nightclothes and sat by her on the bed. "Buffy," he reached for her, but she darted back from him.

"I need to know what you don't like about me. You never tell me these things," she moved away from him again. "I *know* I don't live up to your expectations, I wouldn't be human, if I did, but you never tell me what I need to change, because you always make me feel I do!"

"I don't understand," he whispered, laying a hand on her arm and pulling her close when he descried tears welling up in her eyes. "Buffy, I swear…I don't understand…"

"Nobody's perfect, Angel. Nobody." Her eyes shot pointedly into his and he let go of her and pulled back, somewhat uneasily.

"I know that," he murmured, casting his eyes down from hers.

"No you don't," Buffy stroked his cheek gently, "at least because you're thinking about something else entirely. These last few days…I've been doing stuff…I don't normally do. I've been basically living Faith's life, playing her game, not because I wanted to draw attention, but because I just wanted to try something different. I wanted to taste a life that wasn't my own, to see if maybe…maybe her way's better than mine." The Slayer chuckled, gazing up at her boyfriend and taking his hand. "But then my motive's changed. It changed, because you didn't pay attention. Other than these sad and disappointed looks you were giving me from time to time when I came home too late or did something you didn't like, or the remarks of 'it's not you' you threw my way occasionally when you were also felt worthy enough to comment, you *didn't* pay attention to me."

"You know it's not true," Angel protested.

"But it is," she smiled sadly. "Tonight you told me…'it's not you'. And you were right. But you never told me *why* it wasn't me, you never said *what* I should change in me. You just didn't bother. How am I supposed to live up to your expectations when you don't tell me what they are?!"

"You're not supposed to," he asserted firmly, shaking his head.

"Sure, I am," she dismissed him easily. "You're my boyfriend, Angel. You're the man I love, the man who knows me better than anyone else. You're the man I come home to every day. Who's better to tell me what they think of me than you? I expect things from you, Angel. I need you to expect these same things from me, too. It doesn't work any other way," she grinned ruefully. "Not really."

"I don't want you to be something you're not. I don't want another Faith. I want Buffy," he touched her cheek and she drew closer, leaning into his chest and securing her arms around his waist as he stroked her hair mildly. "I want my Buffy. I want the Buffy I love."

"There's a Buffy you don't love, then," she mused silently, pressing her face into his chest.

"What I don't love isn't Buffy," Angel kissed her head. "That's the point." He angled up her chin until he achieved direct eye contact. "I never meant to make you feel I didn't see you," he assured softly. "But what I saw…it wasn't you."

"I just wanted some time off," she murmured, not really understanding the abrupt need to excuse her behavior. "I wanted some time without responsibility. I wanted to be the Slayer…but I wanted it to be done my way."

"You mean, Faith's way," the vampire corrected her, somewhat sternly. "If you needed a break, all you had to do was ask," he looked down at her. "I would take over, I would be happy, for however much time you'd want me to. I can't understand why you picked *that* approach..."

Buffy eyed him thoughtfully for a spell. "Is it Faith, or is it me?"

Angel didn't get it. "What?"

"Are you upset because I tried to be like Faith or because I stopped being myself?"

Her boyfriend averted his eyes, avoiding the answer, knowing she knew he was avoiding. He pulled the blankets and sheets aside with one hand and lay down, pulling Buffy with him and covering them both.

"Angel?" the Slayer couldn't just drop *that* subject though.

"I never said I liked Faith," he admitted.

"I never asked you to like her."

"If you promise to be you, I'll be willing to tolerate dozens Faiths," he grinned down at her and Buffy recognized that particular grin as his 'I'm lying to dodge the straight answer' grin.

"Good night," she sighed, and pecked a kiss on his chin, before snuggling comfortably on his wide chest.

"Good night," he planted a kiss on her skull and fastened his arms around her, falling into what he already knew would be a troublesome sleep.

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